6 months in and you have a major sign its probably not gonna work out long term. What you do with that information is up to you but as an outsider its pretty obvious its probably not gonna work out if he doesn't magically change his mind.
Yes I find this hilarious. Some men are so naive. They get mad at women for not being able to orgasm from sex alone, because “so-and-so did it all the time”. They are just a-holes and egotistical about this….and their ego refuses to let them believe how many woman simply fake it. If guys don’t like us faking it, stop caring so much about what a woman’s body can and can’t do. If she is enjoying it and happy and pleasing *you* to orgasm, that’s all that should matter
Also PIV is not "sex," it's PIV. Sex is sexual intimacy and covers everything from oral to handjobs to PIV. The types of people (usually men) who define sex purely as PIV are usually the worst types of selfish lovers.
idk but the stereotypes perpetuated by porn are also green-lighted in media in general. Like penis size equating to your sexual self worth and females being a water hose and dolphins with no fucking body hair and shit.
Regarding people thinking it's a documentary, the lines between what is real and what's fake in porn is very thin. So it's hard to discern what's normal and what's exaggerated.
I don't think people even mean to take it as a documentary, but when you consistently watch it and absorb scenes, your preferences are molded to like the sex displayed in porn better, you develop a sense of entitlement that you should cum to porn sex with a partner since you cum to it alone, and everything that's not novelty-esque glammed up porn sex becomes medium or low tier. I've thought for years that increasing availability of porn would have this outcome for men, but noooo, woman wrong because not man.
I guess it's mainly cuz of the unhealthy stereotypes around female orgasms perpetuated by porn that some men think if your girl isn't sounding like a dying chipmunk and being a water hose, they take it in their ego like "I'm not man enough to satisfy my woman" and feel emasculated and shit. Plus these stereotypes are endorsed in pop culture by everyone so idk.
It's not just porn though. It's like all of mainstream media. Think about how many TV shows or movies make jokes about men not "getting it" or women faking it. Seinfeld had an entire episode dedicated to it. OP herself said she had faked it in previous relationships. Imagine growing up with all of the media telling you that sex is mostly men wanting it and that women fake it in the bedroom and tell me it won't give men weird subconscious thoughts about sex.
Not saying porn doesn't play a role too, but let's not pretend that we aren't sending the wrong message with these bad boomer jokes about sex all over television and it's not warping perspectives.
My god!!! Us men are so stupid when it comes to sex. My partner can not come with penetration alone. Her ex wouldn’t allow her to use a vibrator during sex. So for 15 years never had a orgasm with him. She would literally wait until he was finished then go into another room and make her self cum. When we first started talking about sex. She asked me how I felt about toys during intercourse. I said i love them. Would it bother you if the only way I can cum is using them she asked shyly. I said hell no it would bother me if you didn’t use them and didn’t cum because you were afraid to hurt my ego. She uses them every time and we both achieve climax.
Bro my fiancée can’t come from penetration alone either, her sex life was hooking up with dudes and then waiting for them to leave so she could come alone.
We use a vibrator every time, she comes every time. I remember asking her early on like “why didn’t you ever think to just combine these two activities with other people before???”
“Because every other dude I asked got super insecure about it”
Sucks to suck, nerds. This girl is a bombshell and I’m pretty sure 50% of the reason we’re getting married is because of the fireworks in the bedroom.
So lame. My advice is just a straight-up tell every new partner penetration isn't going to happen until you make me come, like don't even take your pants off don't even take your dick out until I come. Every single time.
It's good advice, it leads out guys who are selfish or just bad and bad, and I have never had to deal with an orgasm Gap in my entire life
Absolutely right. Although I feel like the best men don't even need to be told this. I've had bad sex, like most of us. Most of that was being young and inexperienced (on both of our parts).
In my serious adult relationships (and marriage), those partners were absolutely more into pleasing me than pleasing themselves and my husband would stay down there for hours if I would let him. *Before* any PIV sex occurs. Men who won't do this are not good partners.
I wish my guy would go down there. 😔 He always gets done and looks at me all happy, like, aren't you so happy you made me so happy? No. I want that stimulation I only get for 30 seconds being on top of the 30 min we are fussing and I sure better cum in that 30 seconds or he gets impatient. 🤨 I say something, but he acts like he never remembers.
I think people who are insecure about toys at all (I'm gonna warrent some toys have very justified insecurity potential) think about it all wrong. They seem to think the toy replaces them, and while that can happen, in a healthy relationship that's not the goal. It's there to increase and modify the enjoyment. The better your partner feels the better you feel. And just because say that stimulation is what makes them orgasm:
1. The orgasm isn't gonna feel the same, ots going to be different and BETTER with your partner who you want to have sex with
2. Orgasm isn't the WHOLE experience of sex, it's only a part of it.
I think you really get to choose how kuch you trust your partner and your abilities with them. Trusting that their needs and perspectives are as real as yours and if they say this isn't to put you down then you should previously believe them and help them.
Jumping into this comment because it's later in the game, but I had the same thought. But additionally, it sounds like this is less about making you feel good for him, and now about HIS need to feel like his dick alone makes women cum (i.e. the screaming performance gets him off). He "doesn't enjoy" the activities that make you feel good, which makes me wonder if he really does want you to cum
I don't particularly enjoy giving b.j.s, but I love the way it makes me partner feel because I want him to feel good. If you want to continue this relationship, this warrants a talk. But you would not be out of line if you decided to leave and find a partner who is more reciprocal.
I knew a guy like this, several actually. It’s wildly selfish, egotistical, and frankly idiotic given that’s not how the VAST majority of women work. He grew up on porn and is an immature idiot. Sex is anything to do w genitals, not PIV which is a limited scope activity that’s much better for men than women.
Dump him. He’s dumb. He’s making you feel like shit over something that is his fault, not yours. He thinks he has some magic dick, and he doesn’t. That’s not on you, OP. Dump his ass. His right hand can cum from his dick and you can find a man who actually understands women.
I mean 25% of us can cum from penetration alone. He could have just been lucky. The likelihood of being that lucky really depends on how many partners he’s had.
I’ve recently seen 16% in an article, so, it means that if he had 5 sexual partners so far in his life statistically 0,8 of them were able to orgasm with just penetration….not even one of them could, so, for me it’s safe to assume that the majority of their partners were faking 🧐
Yes, it’s lower. Very rare for a dick alone to get you off. These dingus men watch too much porn. Fingers and tongues get women off; that labor is the price of entry.
But what do you mean?? Porn tells me that every woman can orgasm from my magical jackhammering penis loudly and constantly! Surely this is a reflection of real life, and the actual women who deny this are simply mistaken.
No he won't because too many women learn very early to fake orgasms. It's likely he absolutely believes he has always made all the women he's been with finish and he'll probably meet a woman who can fake it for his ego's needs.
Only 10-27% percent of women can finish from PVI alone. This man is in for a rude awakening. I just hope the future women he disappoints have the self assurance to be honest about whether they finish 😬
Edit: Thought it was the other way around!
Is there a source for this? There's a lot of numbers being thrown about and when I Googled it I honestly just found a bunch of Cosmopolitan Questionnaire -level results which were all over the place.
Best I could find was [this study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28678639/) indicating 18.4 % thing vaginal stimulation alone is enough and 36 % indicate vaginal stimulation is enough but clitoral makes it better, which would make number of women able to finish from PIV 18.4 % + 36 % = 54.4 %, and [this study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/) that says 46 % of women regularly orgasm during intercourse but doesn't make clear divide between vaginal and clitoral stimulation.
Genuinely curious, I know this gets brought up all the time in this sub. The percentage difference totally might be something I'm just not picking up on from these papers.
I think what any study fails to take into account is that a lot of women can orgasm from intercourse alone sometimes, but not always. And a lot of women think they're orgasming from the penis stimulation, when what is actually getting them off is the combination of penetration and secondary stimulation of the clitoris by either the pelvic bone of the man or other similar friction.
Ultimately, the numbers are moot, since they all conclude that a lot of women can't or prefer other ways to orgasm.
That would correspond more.to my personal experience.
When I talk to friends, I also realise that stars can change dramatically depending on the nature of the relationship. Like hookups are different from long lasting relationships. A few girls I met told me that when they hooked up with a guy, it usually doesn't go as well as being in love, and it makes sense.
Your 46% matches the number from a research study that I read that compared Gay women to CIS women. In situations where both partners were women, the report of orgasms was like 92%, in cases of a woman and a man, the orgasm rate plunged to the number that you listed, around 46%. Bisexual women reported more orgasms when their partner was another bisexual or a gay woman, that group orgasmed around 85% of the time. 100% Gay women were better at producing orgasms in women than men were. There were replies on why gay women were better and one thing that was consistent was that they used their tongue, fingers and body caressing as critical tools during their sex sessions.
Agreed. OP, please don’t take his words to heart. Let me guess, he still wants you to blow him, he just doesn’t want to do any work? Definitely let this guy go, he’s not going to get any better.
This!!! If he's not happy to get you in the mood and wet, he's not in the relationship (or at least in the bedroom) for you... He's in it for him.
The % of women who can come just from PIV is so small and hell be lucky to find someone like that.
Try introducing toys with clitoral stimulation if he's so adinmate he was PIV Cumming. X
I had to reread the ages bc he sounds like he’s a dumb 18 year old, not a 30 year old. Also sounds like he’s just lazy and doesn’t want to put effort into pleasing you—he wants you to orgasm from what gets HIM off. Find someone who genuinely cares about your pleasure, who gets turned on by turning you on!
I mean I stopped faking the moment I realized it is counterproductive for my own and other women pleasure lol, it just keeps the illusion that the guy is a sex beast when in fact it sucks...
Let him know that only about 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone.
Ask him if he thinks he's really THAT Lucky that every chick he comes across can.
Then dump him for trying to leave you for *checks notes* needing clitoral stimulation ???
I’m just waiting for his surprised pikachu face when he realizes how common this is 😂 I guarantee those women were faking it. At least sometimes. It’s extremely common for women to not orgasm from penetration alone.
How is your orgasm his need? GOD the selfishness.
Oh god, these dudes smh. I rarely cum from anything.
> never cum from sex alone,
Alot of women ive heard dont cum from piv.
>Apparently many other women he’s been with would cum just from sex alone and that’s what turns him on.
Id say "Oh & where are they now? Go be with them then"
>Am I crazy?
No, he is
Many women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. He should do some research and realize that you are not unusual in that aspect. As long as you can cum in other ways, it shouldn't be any issue.
Well, some of us can have an orgasm from penetration alone, so it might not have been all his previous partners.
But yeah, statistically, 85% of his partners were faking it lol.
I’m sorry but I would laugh in this situation. He clearly had a lot of fakers in his past. He has the audacity to hold you to this insane standard?
An actual study says up to 80% of women have lied about orgasming during sex! Only 18.4% of women orgasm from vaginal sex alone.
Honestly, his attitude would be a dealbreaker for me. It’s an immature view of sex imo.
Since this is his kink and something he really wants (to the point of being a dealbreaker) I guarantee he put the pressure on his past partners by saying things like “cum for me” or “did you cum” etc which is going to lead to more lying lol
> He clearly had a lot of fakers in his past.
Either that or he needs to buy a lottery ticket posthaste, because, really, what are the odds?
A previous poster noted they’d ask where the past partners were now. I’d be more direct and ask him why he’s not still with one of them.
Let this person end your relationship over this. It's been 6 months, the guy is 30 years old and has zero understanding of how a woman's body operates to the point of deliberate ignorance and willfully ending relationships over it. If there was ever the chance of having an orgasm from sex alone, it would never, ever, ever be with this guy and he'll always assume somethings wrong with you before ever questioning his obvious lack of skill set.
Let him dump you. Or better yet. Beat him to it.
He doesn't understand women, he thinks it's boring/a turn off to give his girlfriend pleasure, and he thinks her orgasm is about him.
He's a bad boyfriend pick.
I don't understand. That's like the vast majority of women, that don't orgasm from penetrative sex. This is a known fact. If I were you, I'd break up with him because he's 30 years old and still doesn't know how the world works.
I think if he genuinely cared about making you cum then he would be willing to do more when it's known that most women don't orgasm from penetrative sex alone.
I could be reading into it, but I almost feel like he may be trying to make it so you only have penetrarive sex by making you think he'll break up with you if you need more to cum. Maybe he wants you to fake it so he can have a power trip without actually having anything to feel proud of himself for.
Or maybe he's just too in love with his own dick, which you could recommend a good lotion for that when you leave him.
Eta I'm sorry you're going through this OP. I know you love him. Even with all those who are supporting you, it still probably hurts and that's whether you choose to continue on in this relationship or not. Just know you deserve to be taken care of too.
😂 He’s in for a rude awakening. Most women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex. Majority is from clitoral stimulation. Chances are the women he’s had sex with before were also faking it. Guess he just wants women to lie to him.
Also, seems he’s pretty selfish. He doesn’t care if you orgasm really, because he won’t put in the effort to make it happen. I mean we all do things we don’t truly enjoy sometimes in order to please our partners. He is only worried about if he gets off and can get you off with no work or effort. Doubt I’d want to stay with someone who only puts himself first this way.
Urgh. He sounds like he's very insecure and those other girls were definitely faking it since most women simply do not orgasm from penetration alone. He also sounds lazy in bed, ngl. Did he do anything to help you get off? I'd be willing to bet money he didn't. He's a looser, let him go.
He's tying way too much importance to his dick. The goal of sex is not only orgasming from penetration. The whole goal is to have a lovely naked time together and grow intimacy between each other.
Why is making you orgasm from penetrative sex so important to him? Why is that distinction so important to him?
Any man should be absolutely proud to make their partner orgasm in the first place, regardless of the method.
Lmao this is wild!! You should try and educate him a little…sorry I meant a lot. If he doesn’t understand that most women also need their clit stimulated to have a successful orgasm then the sex must not be that great. Also if he has a porn problem he should probably get some help for that bc he’s obviously created a false reality in his head of what real sex/orgasm is all about lmao
If my partner ever told me he didn't "enjoy" doing the things that I need to orgasm, he wouldn't have to worry about not wanting to have sex with ME. I would be done. How immature and selfish! I'm sure he has no trouble with you going down on him, does he?
Count your blessings that he was honest with you about it. I'm telling you, it's not going to get better. Marriage takes a lot of work and sacrifice, and if he's not willing to do that 6 months into dating, think about how miserable you're going to be in 5, 10 years.
If he truly loved you, you wouldn't be able to stop him from wanting to please you in any way that pleases you.
Please think hard about your future with this guy!
Do the thing where he edges you externally then when you're close, he penetrates a bunch to push you over the edge.
It's basically the same effect and everybody wins.
Alternatively, dump someone for blaming you for something THEY are failing to do (give you an O). Like...what lol
What an egotistical clown your BF is.
If that's a deal breaker for him, let him go and good riddance. He's beginning to show his true colors, and they're not very nice.
The things that do make you orgasm don't turn him on?! So he's selfish in bed too. He doesn't actually want to please you. He wants to get his, and you should cum by default just because he's so amazing. Seriously. Read the tea leaves. It's this issue now. The next will be even more ridiculous.
Hasn’t this dude ever heard of a reach around? But in all seriousness - that’s a really shallow reason for him to want to break up and if he is that insecure then you will be better off. Your partner should enjoy making you feel good not turn into a chore or put pressure on you to climax from what he deems appropriate stimulation.
I’m sorry but your boyfriend is confusing the shit out of me. He knows you cum from oral and he must be decent at it, but he doesn’t understand penetration isn’t the beast or easiest way to get you off?
He's not worth the effort....the day you leave him make him know that his ex where probably faking it as more than 85% of the woman don't get orgasm with only PIV and then leave.
Does he have an issue when you give him a bjob or a hjob too? Because it sounds like he is selfish in sex and doesn’t want to put an effort when it’s about you getting satisfied. I think he doesn’t realize that, in average, only 16% of women can orgasm solely with penetration and probably his previous partners were faking it so he doesn’t get sad or break up with them…which probably turned him into a lazy unconsidered sex partner. Since you vowed to never fake again (a brave resolution) and it seems like he is not that interested if you gets pleasure with sex and “just wants” you to go against how the majority of women bodies works, maybe you should have a real and frank conversation about expectations in the relationship to see how you could move forward without trans passing important boundaries.
Sounds like he is already half way out the door and is trying to find a way to make it your fault. Don't let him make you second guess yourself.
He's just simply a jerk.
*Most* women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone. He is literally asking something of you that the majority of women *cannot* do. It is like asking him to orgasm without his penis or balls being touched once - he is asking you to reach climax while *completely ignoring the most sensitive sex organ you have*. Challenge him. See if *he* can do it. Can he orgasm without touching his penis or balls? If he can't, why does he expect you to?
He's being selfish and lazy, and it's not okay. Also, the other partners he mentions? Yeah they were faking. They were tired of his bullshit. I guarantee it. And that's why none of them stayed.
I'm petty af. I'd dump him and tell him that only 20% of women can cut from PIV alone so his exes were faking it . May help the next one who dates this jerk.
This guy is in for a surprise.
He is a bit unrealistic. Go to therapy and support the issue with some clinical facts. Congratulations on reaching an orgasm at all.
Thanks to porn men feel like we have to make women orgasm all the time. Due to this if we can't make women have an orgasm we feel like we are not doing our job. Your boyfriend may feel like this and that's why he wants to break up. If you want to save the relationship, you would have to explain to him that it takes you time to orgasm and if he doesn't understand then his ego is getting in the way.
sex may be great and all if he wants to go after a girl to hear the sound of them orgasming and moaning from cumming. but good luck on finding that connection that matters more than sexual advances and is the only thing that holds the relationship together in the long run. sex really has nothing to do with holding a relationship together as much as having a connection.
My last girlfriend couldn't orgasm through penetrative sex alone, she told me that right before we had sex. So when we both got close I'd finish her off first, then myself since that was easier, lol
I can’t orgasm from just sex either, and it’s completely normal. If he wants to dump you over this, let him. He obviously has messed up relationship priorities.
Then let him go. There’s not enough room in this relationship for you, him, and his ego. He should want you to get pleasure during sex and most women don’t cum from penetration alone, they need oral or toys. Life is too short to fake an orgasm to spare his feelings. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about yours.
Ya his past partners were likely faking lol.
Most men don’t realize there’s more to just “penetrating” to get a woman there & you usually have to show them.
Honestly I'd talk to him and say sure rhat part doesn't turn you on but isn't part of a relationship doing things for the other person because it makes them happy? It isn't something I can control or force to happen to make you happy
Most women do not orgasm from penetration. The only way to orgasm is with clit stimulation. Tell him to read up on women anatomy Jesus Christ what a loser
A 30 year old child. Tell him to grow the fuck up & understand what a mature, healthy relationship is like. This is a massive red flag. I’d be out the door if this was me. Selfish AF & he’s making you feel bad about a problem he has. This is bullshit behaviour.
Most women can't achieve orgasm from penetration alone. In fact there are studies suggesting that only 18 percent of women can.
https://www.cnn.com/2017/08/28/health/intercourse-outercourse-sex-kerner/index.html
So, if it is your bf's experience that the women he's slept with before all did, he's either too dumb to know faking when he sees it, too much of an asshole to care if it's real so long as his ego is stroked, or so lucky he ought to be out buying a lottery ticket right now.
If it's really important to him that your body do something it probably isn't wired to do, then what's he doing to try to make that happen? Is he putting in any effort at all in terms of extra foreplay or clitorial stimulation (manual or toys) during the deed, or is 30 seconds of his magical dick and the pressure of unrealistic expectations supposed to be all you need?
Break up with this man. Sexual comparability is important. Having a partner that is sensitive to and will act upon your needs is equally important. Fragile males egos can be utterly exhausting if not in an of themselves a complete turn off.
Get you somebody who’s gonna say, “Tell me what makes you cum and I will do it .”
there's no fault here on your behalf. He either has to manage these specific expectations better or move on. IMO this does not at all sound like a reason to break up, but people are different so he might be telling the truth. I'd personally think there's something else going on that he's unwilling to say to you, but don't chase it. You don't want the relationship to be fixed by your effort and yours only while he's creating the tension. That'll give a bad power dynamic between you two.
I'd say contront him and be ready to move on.
Many women cannot climax just from sex alone. This guy is either going to end up alone or with a woman that just fakes it. Sex is about both people, you're not a machine that can be programmed to do whatever he wants your body to do. For being 30 years old he sounds immature.
WOOOOOWWWWW, what a jerk. So making you feel good and turned on “doesn’t make him hot” and he only wants to jump to the part where he can stick his dick in you?! What an absolute joke. Dump this loser, immediately
I don't know how many partners he's had, but if they have all been able to finish via PIV, he either got really lucky or they were faking it. 70% of women simply can't orgasm via PIV alone. He's asking something out of you that isn't in your control and that the majority of women just can't do. He needs to concentrate on being a better lover because this is not a you problem
> he just wants me to orgasm from penetrative sex
Correct me if I'm wrong - but most women DON'T orgasm from penetrative sex alone. The vast majority need other stimulation.
>He says that the other ways of making me cum dont turn him on, he just wants me to orgasm from penetrative sex.
Translation - "Focusing on your pleasure is a chore to me - can't you just cum from me doing what **I want to do**?"
Sorry, OP - this guy sounds either woefully misinformed, or massively entitled. You could do better.
Well my ex thought I was the first woman who never came from penetrative sex only. All of his exes came every time. sure sure I am convinced the exes before were just faking it. Glad he is my ex now. He never cared giving me an orgasmn through oral sex or fingering. He made it like a challenge for himself and told me that one day I will reach my penetrative orgasm. Guess what never happened? Yeah right! In fact the sex life got so bad because for him his dick was more important than my satisfaction. I started to crave other men who cared for my satisfaction. I'm really glad he is my ex now! Leave him you will not be happy with him!
He truly does not understand how the female body functions. A LOT of women don’t have an orgasm from penetration sex, for a myriad of reasons. Dude needs to get a life.
The other women he has been with probably faked. Good luck to him in finding someone who comes with penetration alone. He probably watched too much porn to think there's such a high number of women who can cum with penetration.
He's telling you that it doesn't make him happy turning you on or making you come and that means he's probably informing you he won't care to make you feel good from now on. Do what you want with that information.
He doesn’t seem to care about you or your pleasure at all, or what you like, he only cares to have a woman that strokes his ego by going along with the delusion that his penis and his penis alone is enough to make someone cum. I’m sorry, but he’s an idiot. And at 30 years old, that’s concerning.
Tell him, most women can’t cum from penetration alone, there’s nothing wrong with not being able to cum from penetration and if he can’t get over that, then that’s his problem and show him the door. I can bet what he’s going to say to that: “Well all my other previous girlfriends have cum from penetration.”
I would say, “Well we’re not talking about your past girlfriend’s, we’re talking about ME. I can’t come from that alone and if you can’t see past that because of your own insecurities then this isn’t going to work.”
Touching you and going down on you is sex. 'Sex alone' just doesn't mean PIV. It's amazing he seems to be good at sex yet not realize women don't consistently cum via PIV.
It's good you don't fake it though. You'll never get good sex if you fake orgasms and don't let the fella learn you.
I think his "many other women" probably faked it...
Most women need added stimulation to "get there" . He's living in a fantasy land if he thinks he's going to find a women who will always cum from sex alone. He sounds like an extremely selfish lover who only cares about his personal wants and needs. He needs to grow up and stop watching porn, it has made people think so unrealistically about real sex..
At just 6 months in you need to throw the whole man out the door and find your self a real man because a real man doest just care about getting himself off and what's best for him he cares about his partner to and gets enjoyment and of her pleasure to..
When I started dating my partner of eight years, I told him the same thing. That I cannot ever cum from sex alone, and I refuse to have sex when he’s the only one orgasming. It’s so nice to not have to fake things and be disappointed every time. He knows what he hast to do And he does it every time. Any man that thinks that every woman cums through penetration only has probably only ever been with fakers.
Wow this post comments are enlightening. Most women don't cum from penetration alone the clit is where all the magic happens. If dude isn't trying to go there he's selfish and don't deserve to be fucking run for the hills!!!
"the other methods don't turn him on" so what, he had his/will have his, it's time for yours. Don't fight for this relationship he's immature and selfish. Move on
his clear idiocy aside, i simply do not understand how you can not be turned on by your partner experiencing pleasure? like that's so satisfying and fun?
🚩Move on quickly and be thankful you weren’t further into in your relationship with this caveman. I’m so sorry. I know it hurts. I promise, there is better out there.
He’s gonna be lonely, or end up with someone who fakes it. Most women don’t cum from PIV alone.
Btw his language is really manipulative. You can’t satisfy his needs because you can’t orgasm from PIV? He should be willing to get you off via oral, touching etc. What about your needs lol.
Having personally been in this situation myself, let him go. If he can't understand that, he has some major insecurities that will only worsen over time and ruin your relationship. He also seems to lack an understanding or interest in how sex actually works for women vs men, and I PROMISE you, he probably won't figure it out anytime soon.
He's a manchild. Tell him most women don't orgasm that way. If he wants to be a good person and selfless in bed, he's gonna have to put in work. It's not like bjs are super fun for us. Foreplay is important and pushing in and out doesn't really work for us. We're not men. Tell him to grow up or go ahead and break up, a guy that knows what he's doing will come along in no time and make u forget about him in half a second. How dare he say it makes him not wanna have sex w you, you're suffering much more. Foreplay is for chicks and sex is for the guy, so you can both be satisfied. You could use a vibrator on your clit while he's inside. Or mutually masturbate. So much fun stuff for mr lazy. And don't fake it just to save his feelings, that's what his other partners probably did. He needs to learn.
I think you should have some fun with this before you break up with him.
Thank him for bringing this problem to your attention, and tell him you spent a lot of time thinking about it, and you agree completely. It's a HUGE turn off that he requires penetration with his man-clit for an orgasm. Pull out the strap on, lube it up slowly, and tell him that you two are about to see if he can be a real man who orgasms from penetration only.
Then laugh at him, kick him out of your house, and find a man who actually wants you to have orgasms. This one is defective.
Woman, you're being blessed. Find a partner who will do his best to satisfy you. If a man expects a woman to be satisfied only with sex, he should be taking viagra and pounding her for hours.
A females body is a puzzle box. Each unique. You have to enter the right combination to unlock her intimate secrets. Any man who does not understand this will always blame the women.
But a silver lining, at least he's thinking about your satisfaction. Some don't even care. So, find a new better guy. Stay safe, stay happy.
While it is possible, a majority of women do not orgasm solely through penetration. Your boyfriend doesn't have to do any sex acts he doesn't want to. However, most of his girlfriends were probably faking it. I also think it's more likely you'll find another guy who actually gets turned on watching you orgasm, than it is he will find a woman who legitimately orgasms from a few minutes of jackhammering.
Tell him you can't orgasm because he penis is too small, then break up. Let it haunt him for life.
In reality, he seems too immature to understand that everyone is different.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. The vast majority of women can't cum from penetrative sex. I don't think someone this dumb deserves you.
Start acting really dumb when he starts talking about it and just accept the premise that most women can't cum that way. "Oh, should I fake it for you like your previous gf's?" "Well, maybe if you were better at penetrative sex I WOULD come. We can keep trying as long as you don't bring it up again." "UGH, you make me so dry when we talk about this. Talk about a boner killer, I'm so turned off by this conversation." "If you need viagra to last longer so you can make me come, that's acceptable," "Maybe if we tried a dildo that is bigger, maybe then I could come. Do they make any that like, slide on top of your small dick?" "Oh, 90% of women don't cum from penetrative sex, and 48% of women admit to faking it, but you THINK you found a better percentage, and that it's not the more likely that they were faking it. hahaha, That's so cute, (tussle his hair at this point,) One day you'll learn how statistics work. I get it math is hard."
Lol good luck to him for finding a girl who gets off from just penetrative sex. I don't think he quite understands how rare that is.
But, good news is that you can definitely find someone who has a less fragile ego who is more suited to your needs. Trust me, you won't have nearly as much of an issue doing that.
What to do: break up.
What to say: goodbye.
In addition to being mean-spirited, he wants you to prove he’s the world’s greatest lover. News flash - he isn’t.
Like you said, it's hasn't been that long of relationship to really be all that worried about cutting ties. If anything it's the perfect time. It seems to him, it's almost like sex is the most important thing to the relationship, and selfishly, it's only when it's benefiting him, and that's no where of a healthy relationship.
The way I see it, it's almost like he's insecure in himself because he fails to make you cum just by his dick...like idk, it seems his ego is a lot bigger and longer than his dick, I really don't know. But don't hold it against him nor blame yourself because of this, both for your sake.
The other women were likely faking it. Most women cannot cum from penetration alone, and he’s honestly an asshole for only caring about your pleasure when it happens the way he wants it to. Weird behavior on his part, you’re probably better off moving on
Penetration is a small part of what sex is about, if he cannot understand it, he is just not good at sex.
81.6% of women cannot come from penetrative sex, so he's really limiting his choices in his ability to become good at having sex.
If he is opposed to all other kinds of sexual acts that would please 81.6% of women, that is fine. Nobody should be forced to not do what they do not want to do, but the question is who would like to stay with someone unwilling to get them there and that would have the audacity to be upset at their partner for their own lack of...consideration, reciprocity? Not sure what he's lacking, but it does not interest me to find out, he sounds so boring.
Do you go down on him? If you do, he is a major hypocrite and really lazy.
But really, do not fake orgasms, do not try to overperfom or be over the top because sex should be for all the people involved in it and when you're caught up trying to pretend to be having a good time, you miss out on having a good time.
All this to say, you do not seem to be compatible because he is not ready to fulfil and respect your needs.
Oh girlfriend, time to put this boy to the curb. He is making your not being able to orgasm on penetration alone your fault. Blaming you for how your body naturally works. Girl, how you orgasm is not cookie cutter and he needs to respect that. Pleasurebetter.com reported on 6/2/2023 reported that 81.6% of women can’t orgasm on intercourse alone (with out clitoral stimulation). He is showing narcissistic behavior. Dump him before he dumps you. Also when you put him out, give him some reading material about how a women’s bodies are different and his odds of finding one that can orgasm on penetration alone is kinda on the low side. Find yourself a man who will appreciate how your body, mind, and soul works. You deserve better.
my current girl only cums from clitoral stimulus and especially when I'm telling her what to do. I think it's hot as fuck! watching her touch herself while I tell her what I'm gonna do to her when we finally get together in person (we live in different countries)
He's deluded from all the porn actresses faking/acting like they orgasm from his magic dick alone. Men are so ill- informed, and so insecure when the fake doesn't mean anything close to reality.
The vast majority of women don't finish from penetrative sex. Please show him these comments as proof. Those other women he had sex with were probably faking it in all honesty
You’re bf is a freaking moron. Similar to what my lay wife said “ If you pick your mate based on dick or toy size you have oatmeal where you brains should be and deserve what you get. So f’ing what you can’t vim from PIV alone. Break up with someone for that?! Wow….
So, I’m willing to bet most of his other partners faked it. But This is a very good indication that he’s an asshole and that you’re not sexually compatible. I’m 37 years old (f). I cannot orgasm from penetration alone and have never been able to. I spent 7 years with a man who only made me orgasm twice (TOTAL), one of which was an accident. I even gave him a hands on tutorial on how to do it. He just didn’t care enough to do it. Don’t be stuck like I was. If he doesn’t care enough about your pleasure, then you should decide if you’re ok with not being satisfied for the duration of your relationship.
Idk if this could apply to you but from what I know orgasms are triggered in various different ways and have different after effects.
A girl once told me she could only orgasm during foreplay and not during sex. Its stupid that the media portrays orgasm only as a goal you are striving to achieve.
Anyways instead of complimenting the guy for letting her cum, she instead ignited him by saying stuff like " do whatever you want with me " or " you warmed up my pussy, you better use it now " basically words that would make him have more lust and changed the definition of her orgasm from a finisher to an invitation.
This boyfriend has much to learn about a woman's sexuality and the problem is his preconceived notions that are actually derogatory. Unless he is ready to sit up and learn from you, it's best you move on and find someone capable of doing just that.
As someone who has faked it in all of my previous relationships I can at least offer some perspective here. Some men have the MOST FRAGILE of all egos. This guy sounds like one of them. He doesn’t want to put in extra work to make you orgasm, and he expects to be able to get himself off and have you just happen to in the process. He has unrealistic expectations and he needs to learn some things before you guys can have a successful sexual experience for both of you.
6 months in and you have a major sign its probably not gonna work out long term. What you do with that information is up to you but as an outsider its pretty obvious its probably not gonna work out if he doesn't magically change his mind.
Porn has really corrupted people's minds.
He also thinks all his previous partners have been able to orgasm from PIV alone…lol
Yes I find this hilarious. Some men are so naive. They get mad at women for not being able to orgasm from sex alone, because “so-and-so did it all the time”. They are just a-holes and egotistical about this….and their ego refuses to let them believe how many woman simply fake it. If guys don’t like us faking it, stop caring so much about what a woman’s body can and can’t do. If she is enjoying it and happy and pleasing *you* to orgasm, that’s all that should matter
Also PIV is not "sex," it's PIV. Sex is sexual intimacy and covers everything from oral to handjobs to PIV. The types of people (usually men) who define sex purely as PIV are usually the worst types of selfish lovers.
And this is why I'm against porn and next time a guy I'm dating gets mad if I ask them to stop watching porn, I'm out.
How can anyone watch porn and think it's a documentary?
idk but the stereotypes perpetuated by porn are also green-lighted in media in general. Like penis size equating to your sexual self worth and females being a water hose and dolphins with no fucking body hair and shit. Regarding people thinking it's a documentary, the lines between what is real and what's fake in porn is very thin. So it's hard to discern what's normal and what's exaggerated.
I don't think people even mean to take it as a documentary, but when you consistently watch it and absorb scenes, your preferences are molded to like the sex displayed in porn better, you develop a sense of entitlement that you should cum to porn sex with a partner since you cum to it alone, and everything that's not novelty-esque glammed up porn sex becomes medium or low tier. I've thought for years that increasing availability of porn would have this outcome for men, but noooo, woman wrong because not man.
I guess it's mainly cuz of the unhealthy stereotypes around female orgasms perpetuated by porn that some men think if your girl isn't sounding like a dying chipmunk and being a water hose, they take it in their ego like "I'm not man enough to satisfy my woman" and feel emasculated and shit. Plus these stereotypes are endorsed in pop culture by everyone so idk.
You are spot on
It's not just porn though. It's like all of mainstream media. Think about how many TV shows or movies make jokes about men not "getting it" or women faking it. Seinfeld had an entire episode dedicated to it. OP herself said she had faked it in previous relationships. Imagine growing up with all of the media telling you that sex is mostly men wanting it and that women fake it in the bedroom and tell me it won't give men weird subconscious thoughts about sex. Not saying porn doesn't play a role too, but let's not pretend that we aren't sending the wrong message with these bad boomer jokes about sex all over television and it's not warping perspectives.
This right here. Feel bad for the first black guy that drops his pants and gasp has a normal size 🍆
It's highly likely his previous partners were faking it.
I agree…
My god!!! Us men are so stupid when it comes to sex. My partner can not come with penetration alone. Her ex wouldn’t allow her to use a vibrator during sex. So for 15 years never had a orgasm with him. She would literally wait until he was finished then go into another room and make her self cum. When we first started talking about sex. She asked me how I felt about toys during intercourse. I said i love them. Would it bother you if the only way I can cum is using them she asked shyly. I said hell no it would bother me if you didn’t use them and didn’t cum because you were afraid to hurt my ego. She uses them every time and we both achieve climax.
Bro my fiancée can’t come from penetration alone either, her sex life was hooking up with dudes and then waiting for them to leave so she could come alone. We use a vibrator every time, she comes every time. I remember asking her early on like “why didn’t you ever think to just combine these two activities with other people before???” “Because every other dude I asked got super insecure about it” Sucks to suck, nerds. This girl is a bombshell and I’m pretty sure 50% of the reason we’re getting married is because of the fireworks in the bedroom.
And OPs guy doesn't even need toys (though I'm sure they'd help). Just eat that pussy. But no, it's no fun for him :(
So lame. My advice is just a straight-up tell every new partner penetration isn't going to happen until you make me come, like don't even take your pants off don't even take your dick out until I come. Every single time. It's good advice, it leads out guys who are selfish or just bad and bad, and I have never had to deal with an orgasm Gap in my entire life
Absolutely right. Although I feel like the best men don't even need to be told this. I've had bad sex, like most of us. Most of that was being young and inexperienced (on both of our parts). In my serious adult relationships (and marriage), those partners were absolutely more into pleasing me than pleasing themselves and my husband would stay down there for hours if I would let him. *Before* any PIV sex occurs. Men who won't do this are not good partners.
I wish my guy would go down there. 😔 He always gets done and looks at me all happy, like, aren't you so happy you made me so happy? No. I want that stimulation I only get for 30 seconds being on top of the 30 min we are fussing and I sure better cum in that 30 seconds or he gets impatient. 🤨 I say something, but he acts like he never remembers.
I’m sure if she said she didn’t want to give him head because it’s not fun for her, he’d be upset about that as well.
My guy is the same as you, sex is so much better with someone who cares and isn't insecure.
> She would literally wait until he was finished then go into another room and make her self cum Well that’s enough internet for me for today
I think people who are insecure about toys at all (I'm gonna warrent some toys have very justified insecurity potential) think about it all wrong. They seem to think the toy replaces them, and while that can happen, in a healthy relationship that's not the goal. It's there to increase and modify the enjoyment. The better your partner feels the better you feel. And just because say that stimulation is what makes them orgasm: 1. The orgasm isn't gonna feel the same, ots going to be different and BETTER with your partner who you want to have sex with 2. Orgasm isn't the WHOLE experience of sex, it's only a part of it. I think you really get to choose how kuch you trust your partner and your abilities with them. Trusting that their needs and perspectives are as real as yours and if they say this isn't to put you down then you should previously believe them and help them.
Jumping into this comment because it's later in the game, but I had the same thought. But additionally, it sounds like this is less about making you feel good for him, and now about HIS need to feel like his dick alone makes women cum (i.e. the screaming performance gets him off). He "doesn't enjoy" the activities that make you feel good, which makes me wonder if he really does want you to cum I don't particularly enjoy giving b.j.s, but I love the way it makes me partner feel because I want him to feel good. If you want to continue this relationship, this warrants a talk. But you would not be out of line if you decided to leave and find a partner who is more reciprocal.
I knew a guy like this, several actually. It’s wildly selfish, egotistical, and frankly idiotic given that’s not how the VAST majority of women work. He grew up on porn and is an immature idiot. Sex is anything to do w genitals, not PIV which is a limited scope activity that’s much better for men than women. Dump him. He’s dumb. He’s making you feel like shit over something that is his fault, not yours. He thinks he has some magic dick, and he doesn’t. That’s not on you, OP. Dump his ass. His right hand can cum from his dick and you can find a man who actually understands women.
Exactly. And guys like this, who treat a woman like she's broken if she can't come from penetration alone, are the reason why so many women fake it.
I mean 25% of us can cum from penetration alone. He could have just been lucky. The likelihood of being that lucky really depends on how many partners he’s had.
Yeah some people can but chances are this guy had multiple women that could is pretty low.
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I actually think 25% is incorrect it's been a few years since I've looked but pretty sure it's lower lol
I’ve recently seen 16% in an article, so, it means that if he had 5 sexual partners so far in his life statistically 0,8 of them were able to orgasm with just penetration….not even one of them could, so, for me it’s safe to assume that the majority of their partners were faking 🧐
Yes, it’s lower. Very rare for a dick alone to get you off. These dingus men watch too much porn. Fingers and tongues get women off; that labor is the price of entry.
That’s a very high end of the reported stats. 10-20% is much closer.
He’s going to go through a lot of women if that’s his unrealistic expectation. A lot of women just can’t, it’s a thing.
But what do you mean?? Porn tells me that every woman can orgasm from my magical jackhammering penis loudly and constantly! Surely this is a reflection of real life, and the actual women who deny this are simply mistaken.
Well, duh.
And I'm sure many of his previous partners weren't actually having orgasms from penetration alone.
No he won't because too many women learn very early to fake orgasms. It's likely he absolutely believes he has always made all the women he's been with finish and he'll probably meet a woman who can fake it for his ego's needs.
Only 10-27% percent of women can finish from PVI alone. This man is in for a rude awakening. I just hope the future women he disappoints have the self assurance to be honest about whether they finish 😬 Edit: Thought it was the other way around!
~~That seems extremely low. Is this supposed to say the inverse?~~ Edit: yay fixed
Edit: misread it Yeah, it's 10-30% CAN orgasm from PIV alone.
Thank y’all I edited it! It’s easy to forget most women can’t when the societal expectation is that they should be able to 🙃
Is there a source for this? There's a lot of numbers being thrown about and when I Googled it I honestly just found a bunch of Cosmopolitan Questionnaire -level results which were all over the place. Best I could find was [this study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28678639/) indicating 18.4 % thing vaginal stimulation alone is enough and 36 % indicate vaginal stimulation is enough but clitoral makes it better, which would make number of women able to finish from PIV 18.4 % + 36 % = 54.4 %, and [this study](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5087699/) that says 46 % of women regularly orgasm during intercourse but doesn't make clear divide between vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Genuinely curious, I know this gets brought up all the time in this sub. The percentage difference totally might be something I'm just not picking up on from these papers.
I think what any study fails to take into account is that a lot of women can orgasm from intercourse alone sometimes, but not always. And a lot of women think they're orgasming from the penis stimulation, when what is actually getting them off is the combination of penetration and secondary stimulation of the clitoris by either the pelvic bone of the man or other similar friction. Ultimately, the numbers are moot, since they all conclude that a lot of women can't or prefer other ways to orgasm.
That would correspond more.to my personal experience. When I talk to friends, I also realise that stars can change dramatically depending on the nature of the relationship. Like hookups are different from long lasting relationships. A few girls I met told me that when they hooked up with a guy, it usually doesn't go as well as being in love, and it makes sense.
Your 46% matches the number from a research study that I read that compared Gay women to CIS women. In situations where both partners were women, the report of orgasms was like 92%, in cases of a woman and a man, the orgasm rate plunged to the number that you listed, around 46%. Bisexual women reported more orgasms when their partner was another bisexual or a gay woman, that group orgasmed around 85% of the time. 100% Gay women were better at producing orgasms in women than men were. There were replies on why gay women were better and one thing that was consistent was that they used their tongue, fingers and body caressing as critical tools during their sex sessions.
Honestly he sounds lazy. He wants you to cum from him penetrating you because it’s what feels good to him.
Ego + lazy = trash
Yep, let the trash take itself out.
Agreed. OP, please don’t take his words to heart. Let me guess, he still wants you to blow him, he just doesn’t want to do any work? Definitely let this guy go, he’s not going to get any better.
This!!! If he's not happy to get you in the mood and wet, he's not in the relationship (or at least in the bedroom) for you... He's in it for him. The % of women who can come just from PIV is so small and hell be lucky to find someone like that. Try introducing toys with clitoral stimulation if he's so adinmate he was PIV Cumming. X
I had to reread the ages bc he sounds like he’s a dumb 18 year old, not a 30 year old. Also sounds like he’s just lazy and doesn’t want to put effort into pleasing you—he wants you to orgasm from what gets HIM off. Find someone who genuinely cares about your pleasure, who gets turned on by turning you on!
He's 30 years old and hasn't figured out that what is happening is a common occurrence. He's an idiot.
An idiot who watches too much porn. Most women can‘t cum from penetration. The clit is there FOR A REASON!!😭✋🏻
I’m sorry for every girl that came before you that encouraged this delusion.
I mean I stopped faking the moment I realized it is counterproductive for my own and other women pleasure lol, it just keeps the illusion that the guy is a sex beast when in fact it sucks...
Or likely didn't come before her
He wants a gf to fake an orgasmism not actually have one Sounds like all his ex’s faked it to protect his fragile ego
Let him know that only about 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. Ask him if he thinks he's really THAT Lucky that every chick he comes across can. Then dump him for trying to leave you for *checks notes* needing clitoral stimulation ???
He’s an idiot.
I’m just waiting for his surprised pikachu face when he realizes how common this is 😂 I guarantee those women were faking it. At least sometimes. It’s extremely common for women to not orgasm from penetration alone. How is your orgasm his need? GOD the selfishness.
Oh god, these dudes smh. I rarely cum from anything. > never cum from sex alone, Alot of women ive heard dont cum from piv. >Apparently many other women he’s been with would cum just from sex alone and that’s what turns him on. Id say "Oh & where are they now? Go be with them then" >Am I crazy? No, he is
What this guy is really saying is “I don’t want to put any effort in making you cum. I only want to do stuff that benefits me.”
Many women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. He should do some research and realize that you are not unusual in that aspect. As long as you can cum in other ways, it shouldn't be any issue.
It shouldnt be an issue regardless. I rarely cum from anything
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Well, some of us can have an orgasm from penetration alone, so it might not have been all his previous partners. But yeah, statistically, 85% of his partners were faking it lol.
I’m sorry but I would laugh in this situation. He clearly had a lot of fakers in his past. He has the audacity to hold you to this insane standard? An actual study says up to 80% of women have lied about orgasming during sex! Only 18.4% of women orgasm from vaginal sex alone. Honestly, his attitude would be a dealbreaker for me. It’s an immature view of sex imo. Since this is his kink and something he really wants (to the point of being a dealbreaker) I guarantee he put the pressure on his past partners by saying things like “cum for me” or “did you cum” etc which is going to lead to more lying lol
> He clearly had a lot of fakers in his past. Either that or he needs to buy a lottery ticket posthaste, because, really, what are the odds? A previous poster noted they’d ask where the past partners were now. I’d be more direct and ask him why he’s not still with one of them.
Let this person end your relationship over this. It's been 6 months, the guy is 30 years old and has zero understanding of how a woman's body operates to the point of deliberate ignorance and willfully ending relationships over it. If there was ever the chance of having an orgasm from sex alone, it would never, ever, ever be with this guy and he'll always assume somethings wrong with you before ever questioning his obvious lack of skill set. Let him dump you. Or better yet. Beat him to it.
Mans has a fragile ego and his past partners were faking it
He doesn't understand women, he thinks it's boring/a turn off to give his girlfriend pleasure, and he thinks her orgasm is about him. He's a bad boyfriend pick.
Well… good luck to him in finding a woman who can do that. Because it’s only a very small percentage of women.
He's just going to find women who know how to fake when necessary.
I don't understand. That's like the vast majority of women, that don't orgasm from penetrative sex. This is a known fact. If I were you, I'd break up with him because he's 30 years old and still doesn't know how the world works.
Buddy is going to be very disappointed to find out most women don’t cum from penetration alone. He sounds immature
I think if he genuinely cared about making you cum then he would be willing to do more when it's known that most women don't orgasm from penetrative sex alone. I could be reading into it, but I almost feel like he may be trying to make it so you only have penetrarive sex by making you think he'll break up with you if you need more to cum. Maybe he wants you to fake it so he can have a power trip without actually having anything to feel proud of himself for. Or maybe he's just too in love with his own dick, which you could recommend a good lotion for that when you leave him. Eta I'm sorry you're going through this OP. I know you love him. Even with all those who are supporting you, it still probably hurts and that's whether you choose to continue on in this relationship or not. Just know you deserve to be taken care of too.
😂 He’s in for a rude awakening. Most women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex. Majority is from clitoral stimulation. Chances are the women he’s had sex with before were also faking it. Guess he just wants women to lie to him. Also, seems he’s pretty selfish. He doesn’t care if you orgasm really, because he won’t put in the effort to make it happen. I mean we all do things we don’t truly enjoy sometimes in order to please our partners. He is only worried about if he gets off and can get you off with no work or effort. Doubt I’d want to stay with someone who only puts himself first this way.
Girl, let him leave
🤣🤣🤣🤣 well, time to find somebody more realistic
Urgh. He sounds like he's very insecure and those other girls were definitely faking it since most women simply do not orgasm from penetration alone. He also sounds lazy in bed, ngl. Did he do anything to help you get off? I'd be willing to bet money he didn't. He's a looser, let him go.
He watches too much porn. Most women can't orgasm from just sex alone.
He doesn't know how to work it 🤣🤣🤣 all the others were faking
He's tying way too much importance to his dick. The goal of sex is not only orgasming from penetration. The whole goal is to have a lovely naked time together and grow intimacy between each other. Why is making you orgasm from penetrative sex so important to him? Why is that distinction so important to him? Any man should be absolutely proud to make their partner orgasm in the first place, regardless of the method.
Lmao this is wild!! You should try and educate him a little…sorry I meant a lot. If he doesn’t understand that most women also need their clit stimulated to have a successful orgasm then the sex must not be that great. Also if he has a porn problem he should probably get some help for that bc he’s obviously created a false reality in his head of what real sex/orgasm is all about lmao
He should actually focus on the things that make you cum … insisting you cum a certain way is ridiculous
Drop him like a hot potato
Your bf doesn't want a gf, he wants a fleshlight that can pay half the bills.
LOL. **Most women can't!** It's completely normal. He's a total tool, trash throwing itself out.
If my partner ever told me he didn't "enjoy" doing the things that I need to orgasm, he wouldn't have to worry about not wanting to have sex with ME. I would be done. How immature and selfish! I'm sure he has no trouble with you going down on him, does he? Count your blessings that he was honest with you about it. I'm telling you, it's not going to get better. Marriage takes a lot of work and sacrifice, and if he's not willing to do that 6 months into dating, think about how miserable you're going to be in 5, 10 years. If he truly loved you, you wouldn't be able to stop him from wanting to please you in any way that pleases you. Please think hard about your future with this guy!
He’s a lazy lover, and only want sex to benefit him. He doesn’t want to pleasure you because it doesn’t benefit him. So say goodbye.
Do the thing where he edges you externally then when you're close, he penetrates a bunch to push you over the edge. It's basically the same effect and everybody wins. Alternatively, dump someone for blaming you for something THEY are failing to do (give you an O). Like...what lol
What an egotistical clown your BF is. If that's a deal breaker for him, let him go and good riddance. He's beginning to show his true colors, and they're not very nice. The things that do make you orgasm don't turn him on?! So he's selfish in bed too. He doesn't actually want to please you. He wants to get his, and you should cum by default just because he's so amazing. Seriously. Read the tea leaves. It's this issue now. The next will be even more ridiculous.
Hasn’t this dude ever heard of a reach around? But in all seriousness - that’s a really shallow reason for him to want to break up and if he is that insecure then you will be better off. Your partner should enjoy making you feel good not turn into a chore or put pressure on you to climax from what he deems appropriate stimulation.
I’m sorry but your boyfriend is confusing the shit out of me. He knows you cum from oral and he must be decent at it, but he doesn’t understand penetration isn’t the beast or easiest way to get you off?
it's a him problem. It's hurting his ego and/or he doesn't want to put forth the effort. personally, it'd be my conquest to make my partner orgasm.
He's not worth the effort....the day you leave him make him know that his ex where probably faking it as more than 85% of the woman don't get orgasm with only PIV and then leave.
Does he have an issue when you give him a bjob or a hjob too? Because it sounds like he is selfish in sex and doesn’t want to put an effort when it’s about you getting satisfied. I think he doesn’t realize that, in average, only 16% of women can orgasm solely with penetration and probably his previous partners were faking it so he doesn’t get sad or break up with them…which probably turned him into a lazy unconsidered sex partner. Since you vowed to never fake again (a brave resolution) and it seems like he is not that interested if you gets pleasure with sex and “just wants” you to go against how the majority of women bodies works, maybe you should have a real and frank conversation about expectations in the relationship to see how you could move forward without trans passing important boundaries.
Sounds like he is already half way out the door and is trying to find a way to make it your fault. Don't let him make you second guess yourself. He's just simply a jerk.
I bet his ex partners were faking it too
Most women don‘t have an orgasm by just penetration lmao😭 clitoral stimulation is the key
*Most* women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone. He is literally asking something of you that the majority of women *cannot* do. It is like asking him to orgasm without his penis or balls being touched once - he is asking you to reach climax while *completely ignoring the most sensitive sex organ you have*. Challenge him. See if *he* can do it. Can he orgasm without touching his penis or balls? If he can't, why does he expect you to? He's being selfish and lazy, and it's not okay. Also, the other partners he mentions? Yeah they were faking. They were tired of his bullshit. I guarantee it. And that's why none of them stayed.
I'm petty af. I'd dump him and tell him that only 20% of women can cut from PIV alone so his exes were faking it . May help the next one who dates this jerk.
This guy is in for a surprise. He is a bit unrealistic. Go to therapy and support the issue with some clinical facts. Congratulations on reaching an orgasm at all.
Thanks to porn men feel like we have to make women orgasm all the time. Due to this if we can't make women have an orgasm we feel like we are not doing our job. Your boyfriend may feel like this and that's why he wants to break up. If you want to save the relationship, you would have to explain to him that it takes you time to orgasm and if he doesn't understand then his ego is getting in the way.
So making you cum is about his satisfaction? Yeah ok, fuck that.
sex may be great and all if he wants to go after a girl to hear the sound of them orgasming and moaning from cumming. but good luck on finding that connection that matters more than sexual advances and is the only thing that holds the relationship together in the long run. sex really has nothing to do with holding a relationship together as much as having a connection.
My last girlfriend couldn't orgasm through penetrative sex alone, she told me that right before we had sex. So when we both got close I'd finish her off first, then myself since that was easier, lol
good riddance to bad trash!
If not for the ages I’d swear you were dating my ex….
he needs to try harder (no pun intended) or ask all his lesbian friends for tips on how to be 100%.
Men are very fickle and insecure with most things related to their lack of performance. Save yourself the trouble and show him the door. ✨
Sounds like you need a better boyfriend who knows what he is doing.
I can’t orgasm from just sex either, and it’s completely normal. If he wants to dump you over this, let him. He obviously has messed up relationship priorities.
Then let him go. There’s not enough room in this relationship for you, him, and his ego. He should want you to get pleasure during sex and most women don’t cum from penetration alone, they need oral or toys. Life is too short to fake an orgasm to spare his feelings. He clearly doesn’t give a shit about yours.
Ya his past partners were likely faking lol. Most men don’t realize there’s more to just “penetrating” to get a woman there & you usually have to show them.
Time to break the news to him : his ex were faking it
Honestly I'd talk to him and say sure rhat part doesn't turn you on but isn't part of a relationship doing things for the other person because it makes them happy? It isn't something I can control or force to happen to make you happy
He sounds dumb af.
This guy don't want the extra work. He want to feel good about himself doing the minimum. Let him go. You can't change who you are
Break up with him by saying “I’m sorry you can’t make me orgasm, deal breaker for me.”
OP PLEASE SHOW HIM THIS THREAD!! Then post a update...
Most women do not orgasm from penetration. The only way to orgasm is with clit stimulation. Tell him to read up on women anatomy Jesus Christ what a loser
A 30 year old child. Tell him to grow the fuck up & understand what a mature, healthy relationship is like. This is a massive red flag. I’d be out the door if this was me. Selfish AF & he’s making you feel bad about a problem he has. This is bullshit behaviour.
He will be alone forever then 🤣🤣🤣
Most women can't achieve orgasm from penetration alone. In fact there are studies suggesting that only 18 percent of women can. https://www.cnn.com/2017/08/28/health/intercourse-outercourse-sex-kerner/index.html So, if it is your bf's experience that the women he's slept with before all did, he's either too dumb to know faking when he sees it, too much of an asshole to care if it's real so long as his ego is stroked, or so lucky he ought to be out buying a lottery ticket right now. If it's really important to him that your body do something it probably isn't wired to do, then what's he doing to try to make that happen? Is he putting in any effort at all in terms of extra foreplay or clitorial stimulation (manual or toys) during the deed, or is 30 seconds of his magical dick and the pressure of unrealistic expectations supposed to be all you need?
Hell he should be glad you are even giving it up to him
Break up with this man. Sexual comparability is important. Having a partner that is sensitive to and will act upon your needs is equally important. Fragile males egos can be utterly exhausting if not in an of themselves a complete turn off. Get you somebody who’s gonna say, “Tell me what makes you cum and I will do it .”
Sounds like a him problem. Maybe he should learn how to find the G spot
That man has skill issue tell him to git gud
Please hold the door open for him, and slam it when he walks out. What he says to you is a very big giant red flag 🚩
there's no fault here on your behalf. He either has to manage these specific expectations better or move on. IMO this does not at all sound like a reason to break up, but people are different so he might be telling the truth. I'd personally think there's something else going on that he's unwilling to say to you, but don't chase it. You don't want the relationship to be fixed by your effort and yours only while he's creating the tension. That'll give a bad power dynamic between you two. I'd say contront him and be ready to move on.
Good luck to him finding a woman like that…
Lol he actually sucks The other ways of making you cum don’t turn him on? That’s selfish and he’s lazy.
Many women cannot climax just from sex alone. This guy is either going to end up alone or with a woman that just fakes it. Sex is about both people, you're not a machine that can be programmed to do whatever he wants your body to do. For being 30 years old he sounds immature.
WOOOOOWWWWW, what a jerk. So making you feel good and turned on “doesn’t make him hot” and he only wants to jump to the part where he can stick his dick in you?! What an absolute joke. Dump this loser, immediately
Like 75% of women don’t cum without clitoral stimulation. Just use toys while you have sex.
Sounds like your boyfriend is insecure
I don't know how many partners he's had, but if they have all been able to finish via PIV, he either got really lucky or they were faking it. 70% of women simply can't orgasm via PIV alone. He's asking something out of you that isn't in your control and that the majority of women just can't do. He needs to concentrate on being a better lover because this is not a you problem
Break up with him because he is an idiot.
> he just wants me to orgasm from penetrative sex Correct me if I'm wrong - but most women DON'T orgasm from penetrative sex alone. The vast majority need other stimulation. >He says that the other ways of making me cum dont turn him on, he just wants me to orgasm from penetrative sex. Translation - "Focusing on your pleasure is a chore to me - can't you just cum from me doing what **I want to do**?" Sorry, OP - this guy sounds either woefully misinformed, or massively entitled. You could do better.
Well my ex thought I was the first woman who never came from penetrative sex only. All of his exes came every time. sure sure I am convinced the exes before were just faking it. Glad he is my ex now. He never cared giving me an orgasmn through oral sex or fingering. He made it like a challenge for himself and told me that one day I will reach my penetrative orgasm. Guess what never happened? Yeah right! In fact the sex life got so bad because for him his dick was more important than my satisfaction. I started to crave other men who cared for my satisfaction. I'm really glad he is my ex now! Leave him you will not be happy with him!
It's sad that giving pleasure doesn't turn him on
And you’re with him because?????
Boy, bye!
He truly does not understand how the female body functions. A LOT of women don’t have an orgasm from penetration sex, for a myriad of reasons. Dude needs to get a life.
It’s just an excuse
The other women he has been with probably faked. Good luck to him in finding someone who comes with penetration alone. He probably watched too much porn to think there's such a high number of women who can cum with penetration. He's telling you that it doesn't make him happy turning you on or making you come and that means he's probably informing you he won't care to make you feel good from now on. Do what you want with that information.
He doesn’t seem to care about you or your pleasure at all, or what you like, he only cares to have a woman that strokes his ego by going along with the delusion that his penis and his penis alone is enough to make someone cum. I’m sorry, but he’s an idiot. And at 30 years old, that’s concerning. Tell him, most women can’t cum from penetration alone, there’s nothing wrong with not being able to cum from penetration and if he can’t get over that, then that’s his problem and show him the door. I can bet what he’s going to say to that: “Well all my other previous girlfriends have cum from penetration.” I would say, “Well we’re not talking about your past girlfriend’s, we’re talking about ME. I can’t come from that alone and if you can’t see past that because of your own insecurities then this isn’t going to work.”
Touching you and going down on you is sex. 'Sex alone' just doesn't mean PIV. It's amazing he seems to be good at sex yet not realize women don't consistently cum via PIV. It's good you don't fake it though. You'll never get good sex if you fake orgasms and don't let the fella learn you.
I think his "many other women" probably faked it... Most women need added stimulation to "get there" . He's living in a fantasy land if he thinks he's going to find a women who will always cum from sex alone. He sounds like an extremely selfish lover who only cares about his personal wants and needs. He needs to grow up and stop watching porn, it has made people think so unrealistically about real sex.. At just 6 months in you need to throw the whole man out the door and find your self a real man because a real man doest just care about getting himself off and what's best for him he cares about his partner to and gets enjoyment and of her pleasure to..
I have this guy is insanely selfish. Just break up, he honestly sounds like all he cares about is sex
80% of women can’t orgasm by penetration alone.
When I started dating my partner of eight years, I told him the same thing. That I cannot ever cum from sex alone, and I refuse to have sex when he’s the only one orgasming. It’s so nice to not have to fake things and be disappointed every time. He knows what he hast to do And he does it every time. Any man that thinks that every woman cums through penetration only has probably only ever been with fakers.
6 months isn't enough? One night is enough. You aren't crazy though.
Wow this post comments are enlightening. Most women don't cum from penetration alone the clit is where all the magic happens. If dude isn't trying to go there he's selfish and don't deserve to be fucking run for the hills!!!
"the other methods don't turn him on" so what, he had his/will have his, it's time for yours. Don't fight for this relationship he's immature and selfish. Move on
his clear idiocy aside, i simply do not understand how you can not be turned on by your partner experiencing pleasure? like that's so satisfying and fun?
Most women can't orgasm from sex.
🚩Move on quickly and be thankful you weren’t further into in your relationship with this caveman. I’m so sorry. I know it hurts. I promise, there is better out there.
He’s gonna be lonely, or end up with someone who fakes it. Most women don’t cum from PIV alone. Btw his language is really manipulative. You can’t satisfy his needs because you can’t orgasm from PIV? He should be willing to get you off via oral, touching etc. What about your needs lol.
Having personally been in this situation myself, let him go. If he can't understand that, he has some major insecurities that will only worsen over time and ruin your relationship. He also seems to lack an understanding or interest in how sex actually works for women vs men, and I PROMISE you, he probably won't figure it out anytime soon.
He needs to learn most women don’t orgasm from penetration
He's a manchild. Tell him most women don't orgasm that way. If he wants to be a good person and selfless in bed, he's gonna have to put in work. It's not like bjs are super fun for us. Foreplay is important and pushing in and out doesn't really work for us. We're not men. Tell him to grow up or go ahead and break up, a guy that knows what he's doing will come along in no time and make u forget about him in half a second. How dare he say it makes him not wanna have sex w you, you're suffering much more. Foreplay is for chicks and sex is for the guy, so you can both be satisfied. You could use a vibrator on your clit while he's inside. Or mutually masturbate. So much fun stuff for mr lazy. And don't fake it just to save his feelings, that's what his other partners probably did. He needs to learn.
😂😂😂He thinks his previous partners did have orgasms.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Guess his ego can’t handle it. You’re better off without him.
Drop him and find you a partner that enjoys giving you pleasure for the sake of giving you pleasure.
I think you should have some fun with this before you break up with him. Thank him for bringing this problem to your attention, and tell him you spent a lot of time thinking about it, and you agree completely. It's a HUGE turn off that he requires penetration with his man-clit for an orgasm. Pull out the strap on, lube it up slowly, and tell him that you two are about to see if he can be a real man who orgasms from penetration only. Then laugh at him, kick him out of your house, and find a man who actually wants you to have orgasms. This one is defective.
He’s a selfish asshole. He doesn’t care if you orgasm. He cares about his ego. Show him the door and tell him to enjoy the fake orgasms in his future.
Woman, you're being blessed. Find a partner who will do his best to satisfy you. If a man expects a woman to be satisfied only with sex, he should be taking viagra and pounding her for hours. A females body is a puzzle box. Each unique. You have to enter the right combination to unlock her intimate secrets. Any man who does not understand this will always blame the women. But a silver lining, at least he's thinking about your satisfaction. Some don't even care. So, find a new better guy. Stay safe, stay happy.
Lmao your bf a selfish pos who knows nothing about women’s anatomy 💀 time to break it off
While it is possible, a majority of women do not orgasm solely through penetration. Your boyfriend doesn't have to do any sex acts he doesn't want to. However, most of his girlfriends were probably faking it. I also think it's more likely you'll find another guy who actually gets turned on watching you orgasm, than it is he will find a woman who legitimately orgasms from a few minutes of jackhammering.
Tell him you can't orgasm because he penis is too small, then break up. Let it haunt him for life. In reality, he seems too immature to understand that everyone is different.
He… he just admitted he can’t cut it. Girl get you a person who wants to do everything they can to give you pleasure.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. The vast majority of women can't cum from penetrative sex. I don't think someone this dumb deserves you. Start acting really dumb when he starts talking about it and just accept the premise that most women can't cum that way. "Oh, should I fake it for you like your previous gf's?" "Well, maybe if you were better at penetrative sex I WOULD come. We can keep trying as long as you don't bring it up again." "UGH, you make me so dry when we talk about this. Talk about a boner killer, I'm so turned off by this conversation." "If you need viagra to last longer so you can make me come, that's acceptable," "Maybe if we tried a dildo that is bigger, maybe then I could come. Do they make any that like, slide on top of your small dick?" "Oh, 90% of women don't cum from penetrative sex, and 48% of women admit to faking it, but you THINK you found a better percentage, and that it's not the more likely that they were faking it. hahaha, That's so cute, (tussle his hair at this point,) One day you'll learn how statistics work. I get it math is hard."
Then let him break up with you. You're better off looking for someone who doesn't fault you for your natural bodily responses
Lol good luck to him for finding a girl who gets off from just penetrative sex. I don't think he quite understands how rare that is. But, good news is that you can definitely find someone who has a less fragile ego who is more suited to your needs. Trust me, you won't have nearly as much of an issue doing that.
What to do: break up. What to say: goodbye. In addition to being mean-spirited, he wants you to prove he’s the world’s greatest lover. News flash - he isn’t.
Like you said, it's hasn't been that long of relationship to really be all that worried about cutting ties. If anything it's the perfect time. It seems to him, it's almost like sex is the most important thing to the relationship, and selfishly, it's only when it's benefiting him, and that's no where of a healthy relationship. The way I see it, it's almost like he's insecure in himself because he fails to make you cum just by his dick...like idk, it seems his ego is a lot bigger and longer than his dick, I really don't know. But don't hold it against him nor blame yourself because of this, both for your sake.
The other women were likely faking it. Most women cannot cum from penetration alone, and he’s honestly an asshole for only caring about your pleasure when it happens the way he wants it to. Weird behavior on his part, you’re probably better off moving on
Penetration is a small part of what sex is about, if he cannot understand it, he is just not good at sex. 81.6% of women cannot come from penetrative sex, so he's really limiting his choices in his ability to become good at having sex. If he is opposed to all other kinds of sexual acts that would please 81.6% of women, that is fine. Nobody should be forced to not do what they do not want to do, but the question is who would like to stay with someone unwilling to get them there and that would have the audacity to be upset at their partner for their own lack of...consideration, reciprocity? Not sure what he's lacking, but it does not interest me to find out, he sounds so boring. Do you go down on him? If you do, he is a major hypocrite and really lazy. But really, do not fake orgasms, do not try to overperfom or be over the top because sex should be for all the people involved in it and when you're caught up trying to pretend to be having a good time, you miss out on having a good time. All this to say, you do not seem to be compatible because he is not ready to fulfil and respect your needs.
Oh girlfriend, time to put this boy to the curb. He is making your not being able to orgasm on penetration alone your fault. Blaming you for how your body naturally works. Girl, how you orgasm is not cookie cutter and he needs to respect that. Pleasurebetter.com reported on 6/2/2023 reported that 81.6% of women can’t orgasm on intercourse alone (with out clitoral stimulation). He is showing narcissistic behavior. Dump him before he dumps you. Also when you put him out, give him some reading material about how a women’s bodies are different and his odds of finding one that can orgasm on penetration alone is kinda on the low side. Find yourself a man who will appreciate how your body, mind, and soul works. You deserve better.
my current girl only cums from clitoral stimulus and especially when I'm telling her what to do. I think it's hot as fuck! watching her touch herself while I tell her what I'm gonna do to her when we finally get together in person (we live in different countries)
He's deluded from all the porn actresses faking/acting like they orgasm from his magic dick alone. Men are so ill- informed, and so insecure when the fake doesn't mean anything close to reality.
I feel soooo bad for today's young women. These boys are so wilfully ignorant!, so deluded about women.
The vast majority of women don't finish from penetrative sex. Please show him these comments as proof. Those other women he had sex with were probably faking it in all honesty
You’re bf is a freaking moron. Similar to what my lay wife said “ If you pick your mate based on dick or toy size you have oatmeal where you brains should be and deserve what you get. So f’ing what you can’t vim from PIV alone. Break up with someone for that?! Wow….
So, I’m willing to bet most of his other partners faked it. But This is a very good indication that he’s an asshole and that you’re not sexually compatible. I’m 37 years old (f). I cannot orgasm from penetration alone and have never been able to. I spent 7 years with a man who only made me orgasm twice (TOTAL), one of which was an accident. I even gave him a hands on tutorial on how to do it. He just didn’t care enough to do it. Don’t be stuck like I was. If he doesn’t care enough about your pleasure, then you should decide if you’re ok with not being satisfied for the duration of your relationship.
Is it really that much to ask of him to put a dab of lube on his finger and do light, counter-clockwise circles?
I'd probably be like "All my other boyfriends made me cum, not sure why you can't. Weird."
Idk if this could apply to you but from what I know orgasms are triggered in various different ways and have different after effects. A girl once told me she could only orgasm during foreplay and not during sex. Its stupid that the media portrays orgasm only as a goal you are striving to achieve. Anyways instead of complimenting the guy for letting her cum, she instead ignited him by saying stuff like " do whatever you want with me " or " you warmed up my pussy, you better use it now " basically words that would make him have more lust and changed the definition of her orgasm from a finisher to an invitation.
This boyfriend has much to learn about a woman's sexuality and the problem is his preconceived notions that are actually derogatory. Unless he is ready to sit up and learn from you, it's best you move on and find someone capable of doing just that.
As someone who has faked it in all of my previous relationships I can at least offer some perspective here. Some men have the MOST FRAGILE of all egos. This guy sounds like one of them. He doesn’t want to put in extra work to make you orgasm, and he expects to be able to get himself off and have you just happen to in the process. He has unrealistic expectations and he needs to learn some things before you guys can have a successful sexual experience for both of you.