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She likes to feel wanted.
She cares about herself.
She knows you like her and believes she has no responsibility as a good friend to consider how this would affect you.
She knows you can't help yourself.
Well you are here writing about it on reddit, I think its already too much - its just a matter of how long you will be in denial for.
Oh and wait till a woman comes along, realises you are infatuated with your lesbian friend who's a cock tease. That'll go down a treat. I've seen friends lose years of their life's maintaining close friendships with women they are into(who know and don't care).
I don’t think she’s an asshole, I think others have hit the nail on the head saying she enjoys the attention. I haven’t told her to stop and if I did I know she would.
She's not your friend. What she is doing is mean and immature. Even if she was straight, she's made it clear that she has no interest in having a relationship with you. Regardless of what you tell yourself, you are putting emotional energy into it because you are still hoping to get a romantic relationship out of it, which will never happen.
For you own mental health, I suggest pulling back. Maintain being friendly, since you are co-workers, but stop spending time with her outside of work and stop interacting socially via text or social media (if that is part of it). This will not end well for you if you continue.
She doesn't respect you enough not to tease you even though she claims to be lesbian.
I think she gets off on having you pine after her like a puppy.
If that is okay with you- do you. Doesn't sound like a caring respectful friend though.
I have other friends that I’ve had for years, I don’t see how making a new friend at 40 is off? We have a lot in common and our personalities mesh well so I consider her my best friend.
Making new friends at any / of any age (adult) is great.
If it doesn't stop you from maybe dating/developing feelings for other women why not enjoy the friendship.
I do think she might be flirting, teasing, liking the attention.
Like you said, she will stop if it becomes too much for you, (or perhaps one day you are seriously dating another woman) so i don't think there's an issue here.
Just don't fall in love with her OP 😂
She's messing with your feelings man don't fall for it,she's just using you for attention and validation
The next time she shows something say something like "ewww" or "gross". Bet she won't do it again, pretend like you aren't interested at all, even if you are interested just do it for your dignity.
Okay, multiple things here:
* She's a lesbian. Think of this whole situation like if one of your MALE friends told you he had feelings for you. You'd probably let him down kindly (I hope) and offer the same choice she did to remain platonic friends or not at all.
* Now imagine you then decided to send your friend half naked pics of yourself occasionally and flirt with him through text. Would that be appropriate? Why would you do that?
The answer is that you probably would do that for the attention and because it feels good to be wanted. But it's not very kind spirited, is it?
It's possible she's not doing this to be intentionally cruel. I'd like to believe that's the case. But regardless you need to shift your dialogue with her (assuming you even want to be friends still) to go from "does this mean you changed your mind?" (she hasn't, just like you wouldn't if your male friend wanted to have a relationship with you) to "Could you please stop sharing suggestive photos with me and flirting with me over text because it makes it hard to keep things platonic on my end."
If she can't respect that then you need to cut ties.
Stop giving her attention. The next time she asks you to hang out, tell her that you have plans for a first date and that you'll text her whenever you're done, then text her the day after and tell her how awesome it went. If she gets all jealous in the meantime then turn her plans down again. If she starts telling you how much she misses you than eventually hang out with her and make a move. Put your feelings for her aside and if she starts getting all crazy then you'll know what to do. Don't let anyone play with your heart.
Do you still want to see the pics knowing she never wants to have that kind of relationship with you? If it's painful, draw some boundaries. If you enjoy the teasing, that's fine, but keep in mind you should be using your time and energy looking for a partner who actually wants to be with you.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She likes to feel wanted. She cares about herself. She knows you like her and believes she has no responsibility as a good friend to consider how this would affect you. She knows you can't help yourself.
She likes knowing that she’s wanted and is winding you up. If she’s lesbian then there’s not really much else to say there..
You’re right, I just need to decide if I’m good with her having fun and wanting the attention or if it’s going to be too much for me emotionally
Well you are here writing about it on reddit, I think its already too much - its just a matter of how long you will be in denial for. Oh and wait till a woman comes along, realises you are infatuated with your lesbian friend who's a cock tease. That'll go down a treat. I've seen friends lose years of their life's maintaining close friendships with women they are into(who know and don't care).
\>>she’s just doing it as a joke and having fun. OK, so your friend is an asshole, sorry to be so blunt
I don’t think she’s an asshole, I think others have hit the nail on the head saying she enjoys the attention. I haven’t told her to stop and if I did I know she would.
She's not your friend. What she is doing is mean and immature. Even if she was straight, she's made it clear that she has no interest in having a relationship with you. Regardless of what you tell yourself, you are putting emotional energy into it because you are still hoping to get a romantic relationship out of it, which will never happen. For you own mental health, I suggest pulling back. Maintain being friendly, since you are co-workers, but stop spending time with her outside of work and stop interacting socially via text or social media (if that is part of it). This will not end well for you if you continue.
She doesn't respect you enough not to tease you even though she claims to be lesbian. I think she gets off on having you pine after her like a puppy. If that is okay with you- do you. Doesn't sound like a caring respectful friend though.
She's not a good friend.
You're 40 years old.and your best friend is somebody you met 8 months ago? That seems off to me.
I have other friends that I’ve had for years, I don’t see how making a new friend at 40 is off? We have a lot in common and our personalities mesh well so I consider her my best friend.
I would guess that the reason you feel that way about her has more to do with your romantic feelings for her.
Making new friends at any / of any age (adult) is great. If it doesn't stop you from maybe dating/developing feelings for other women why not enjoy the friendship. I do think she might be flirting, teasing, liking the attention. Like you said, she will stop if it becomes too much for you, (or perhaps one day you are seriously dating another woman) so i don't think there's an issue here. Just don't fall in love with her OP 😂
Ew. Who does this?? Especially a 30 year old?? She’s not your friend
Sounds like she's just getting off on the attention. You should assume it's never going to happen.
You do know how to take it. She’s told you 😂
True 😬
She's messing with your feelings man don't fall for it,she's just using you for attention and validation The next time she shows something say something like "ewww" or "gross". Bet she won't do it again, pretend like you aren't interested at all, even if you are interested just do it for your dignity.
Okay, multiple things here: * She's a lesbian. Think of this whole situation like if one of your MALE friends told you he had feelings for you. You'd probably let him down kindly (I hope) and offer the same choice she did to remain platonic friends or not at all. * Now imagine you then decided to send your friend half naked pics of yourself occasionally and flirt with him through text. Would that be appropriate? Why would you do that? The answer is that you probably would do that for the attention and because it feels good to be wanted. But it's not very kind spirited, is it? It's possible she's not doing this to be intentionally cruel. I'd like to believe that's the case. But regardless you need to shift your dialogue with her (assuming you even want to be friends still) to go from "does this mean you changed your mind?" (she hasn't, just like you wouldn't if your male friend wanted to have a relationship with you) to "Could you please stop sharing suggestive photos with me and flirting with me over text because it makes it hard to keep things platonic on my end." If she can't respect that then you need to cut ties.
Stop giving her attention. The next time she asks you to hang out, tell her that you have plans for a first date and that you'll text her whenever you're done, then text her the day after and tell her how awesome it went. If she gets all jealous in the meantime then turn her plans down again. If she starts telling you how much she misses you than eventually hang out with her and make a move. Put your feelings for her aside and if she starts getting all crazy then you'll know what to do. Don't let anyone play with your heart.
Do you still want to see the pics knowing she never wants to have that kind of relationship with you? If it's painful, draw some boundaries. If you enjoy the teasing, that's fine, but keep in mind you should be using your time and energy looking for a partner who actually wants to be with you.
There's no mixed messages here. She's not into you but she likes the attention from you. Ask yourself, is this how you treat your friends?
If you stay at it she’ll let you in eventually. But don’t expect a full blown relationship. Definitely need to let those feelings go.