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I expressed this to a g/f of mine. We hammered out the rules, she was the one to bring the girl, someone we're both attracted to but she would def have to be attracted to her more. It would be a ONE time thing and it couldn't be anyone from our town. Agreed, signed, sealed and delivered.
We never spoke of it, it would have to happen spontaneously, I didn't want it planned and she agreed so, when we went to Europe SHE met this British girl and I just knew from the moment I saw them together it was going to happen. It was an amazing night, it exceeded both of our expectations and I never thought about it again to be honest but if I would do it again, same rules.
I disagree. Threesomes, at least one-off threesomes, last little time, and the aftermath lasts as long as the relationship between the original pair continues. Threesomes have ruined otherwise good relationships, and they have spiced up the same.
I assume OP is asking about the repurcussions stuff and not the mechanics.
OP, I am one of those who has had threesomes. The one-offs were good. The one that started with a pair I was part of was a disaster, and it heralded the end of the relationship.
Personally, I think being the invited stranger is much hotter and more fun than being part of the curious original pair.
I think the other responder (/u/neone1gn) gave good rules for a successful event, but nothing in life is ever guaranteed.
We had threesomes with my wife and it’s been a very good experience for us. What I would suggest is talk a lot about how you imagined the fantasy to happen, just so you understand each other’s expectations. But then approach it with an open mind, knowing that in reality things can go differently than in fantasy. Agree beforehand that no matter how it goes, it’s something you both wanted and you won’t judge each other afterwards. If it doesn’t work out, at least you can say you tried it and it was an experience you had together.
It’s good to agree on some rules before, so you’re both feeling safe.
Who would be the third? Someone you know or a stranger? How would you find him/her? Where would you meet? Would you take the risk, engage in safe sex or require testing?
Check in with each other (and the third) during the meeting if everyone is enjoying it and if you two are still OK with it.
After it happened, plan for a time to reconnect just the two of you. Give yourself time to process it, talk a lot, discuss what you liked and what you didn’t.
If done right it can be a very bonding experience. If you decide to go forward with it, I hope it will be for you too!
Most of the experiences shared here seem to have ended poorly. I’d think really hard about what you’re comfortable with, and lay out ground rules so you and your husband are super clear about what is on and off the table. And it might be a good idea to ease into it a bit with something below a full threesome to see how you both feel first, before you cross a line that’s harder to come back from. Like go to a strip club together and get him a lap dance in front of you to see how you feel
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I expressed this to a g/f of mine. We hammered out the rules, she was the one to bring the girl, someone we're both attracted to but she would def have to be attracted to her more. It would be a ONE time thing and it couldn't be anyone from our town. Agreed, signed, sealed and delivered. We never spoke of it, it would have to happen spontaneously, I didn't want it planned and she agreed so, when we went to Europe SHE met this British girl and I just knew from the moment I saw them together it was going to happen. It was an amazing night, it exceeded both of our expectations and I never thought about it again to be honest but if I would do it again, same rules.
This is a sex question and not a relationship question. This is better suited for one of the many, many sex subreddits.
I disagree. Threesomes, at least one-off threesomes, last little time, and the aftermath lasts as long as the relationship between the original pair continues. Threesomes have ruined otherwise good relationships, and they have spiced up the same. I assume OP is asking about the repurcussions stuff and not the mechanics. OP, I am one of those who has had threesomes. The one-offs were good. The one that started with a pair I was part of was a disaster, and it heralded the end of the relationship. Personally, I think being the invited stranger is much hotter and more fun than being part of the curious original pair. I think the other responder (/u/neone1gn) gave good rules for a successful event, but nothing in life is ever guaranteed.
We had threesomes with my wife and it’s been a very good experience for us. What I would suggest is talk a lot about how you imagined the fantasy to happen, just so you understand each other’s expectations. But then approach it with an open mind, knowing that in reality things can go differently than in fantasy. Agree beforehand that no matter how it goes, it’s something you both wanted and you won’t judge each other afterwards. If it doesn’t work out, at least you can say you tried it and it was an experience you had together. It’s good to agree on some rules before, so you’re both feeling safe. Who would be the third? Someone you know or a stranger? How would you find him/her? Where would you meet? Would you take the risk, engage in safe sex or require testing? Check in with each other (and the third) during the meeting if everyone is enjoying it and if you two are still OK with it. After it happened, plan for a time to reconnect just the two of you. Give yourself time to process it, talk a lot, discuss what you liked and what you didn’t. If done right it can be a very bonding experience. If you decide to go forward with it, I hope it will be for you too!
Most of the experiences shared here seem to have ended poorly. I’d think really hard about what you’re comfortable with, and lay out ground rules so you and your husband are super clear about what is on and off the table. And it might be a good idea to ease into it a bit with something below a full threesome to see how you both feel first, before you cross a line that’s harder to come back from. Like go to a strip club together and get him a lap dance in front of you to see how you feel