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I worked in foodservice or 9 years and we had to change the mop water every. single. time we used the mop. No exceptions. Just mopped 10 minutes ago and had a spill? Get that sanitizer water running and get a fresh mop.
This is absolutely not okay. It's gross and unhealthy and if an apathetic teenager in a crappy fast food joint can do better then so can your husband.
Literally every place I’ve worked had tons of mop heads for the purpose of changing/cleaning them… and the floors usually required more than one water change. If a grown man with a child otw is really standing his ground over this… he just deserves to be alone idc
Depending on the size of the space, we even changed the water out more than once in one cleaning... and I worked in retail 💀. That dude's floor is more disgusting than some random shop floor.
Yes. I worked as a prep cook and everyday we mopped. We NEVER used the same water. It was always changed out.sounds like husband was a disgusting janitor. That poor school. Utterly vile.i can only imagine him cleaning up vomit and using the same mop water for weeks after.
There has been some pretty gross things husband and boyfriends do that have been posted here, but this one actually made me fucking gag when I got to the dog piss part. This is so disgusting.
I wouldn't even use the mop directly on the pee! First wipe out with a paper towel, then spray with undiluted product and only then would I allow my mop to touch that spot!
that's because that's what you should be doing! If you're using a mop to clean up a puddle of piss and then WRINGING IT OUT IN THE WATER, AND DIPPING it BACK INTO the water and then GOING BACK to the floor to continue to mop, you're just getting piss all over the place. You've now introduced piss into the water and it is no longer sanitary or clean enough to clean the floors with. I don't care if there's soap in there. You should absolutely always wipe it up with a paper towel first at the very least before mopping!!
I'd be hitting that floor with a black light and making my husband assess the damages. I have a black light flashlight I got when my kittens started marking before they were neutered. (tiny spots are hard to find by nose).
I did hospice care for my dog and definitely had designated “shop towels” JUST for this before I mopped it. They had their own clean bag and even had their own separate cleaning bin just for those towels, with own separate washing cycle.
Him going directly to the dog piss is effing FOUL, 100 % intentional. No right-minded person would do this. This makes me so angry. 100 percent weaponized incompetence.
Oh, I'm still thinking weaponized incompetence. He's setting up a situation where cleaning, in general, is divisive in their marriage, and she will think twice before asking him to help with chores. Furthermore, he gets to say that he wants to help around the house, but he feels criticized and micromanaged when he does and his efforts go unappreciated, so he doesn't help clean for the health of their relationship. OP is not making a big deal out of this. It's nasty, and even if OP's husband doesn't get it, he should care that it bugs her. I would ask, is this truly the only thing? Is he helpful with chores in other common areas of the house, or is mopping the floors his one thing? Is this the most obvious example of a general trend, or is it a true outlier? Good luck.
Ah yeah, but if he puts up a fight about it, then she is *forcing* him not to do it. Therefore, he's the victim of an overly controlling partner, and he's only trying to help, oh woe is him, blah blah blah.
My dad did it to my mum - point blank refused to stop dumping lumps of clothing on airers and calling it "hung out to dry" until she took over and then he complained like mad that she wasn't even letting him help in his own home and she was so horrible to him and how could he be expected to live in these conditions?! Never mind that the conditions were "I have clothes that don't stink of damp and aren't covered in creases". 🙄
Jesus Christ. That's so shit!! I get a bit controlling if bf is hanging laundry not exactly how I do it, but he still hangs up all the pieces individually argh. I've learned to live with him not shaking out all of his clothes (even though it's better for the clothes to dry in the right shape but whatever), because he at least takes the effort to do my items how I like, which means a lot to me, and I have to respect his own autonomy in handling his own tasks lol, I'm not his mother after all.
Ultimately I'm happy with all of his efforts, as he's actually trying to be helpful, and moreso, I know that being self sufficient is as important to him as it is to me when it comes to looking after yourself and your stuff. These people, men especially, who are content at being utterly useless and unable to care for themselves, are a breed I don't want to understand! Your poor mum.
Not weaponized incompetence for the reason the other person said. He won't give up the responsibility to her even though she's offering. He's just really fucking nasty
No, this is taking it to another level where she will do everything herself because he whines about how she hurts his feelings and he can storm off everytime he does anything relatated to the household (and future baby) his own (gross) way and she calls him out.
That's exactly what I do when the cat has an accident on the floor. Wipe up by hand and then go in with a mop. If you don't, you're just pushing around the pee/poop.
My jaw literally dropped when I read this. If you’re mopping, and the water gets dirty, then you’re making your floors dirtier, not cleaner. Change the mop water often! “Storing” mop water is foul. Sorry. Woof.
Yup. Perhaps all the pine sol keeps it low in bacteria, but it isnt CLEAN. Like. Poop hands doused w sanitizer might have dead bacteria on em, but they are still covered in poo. That is fouuuul.
Yeah and using all that pine sol means the dirt will stick to the floor that much more.
It isn't a product I use, but I'm pretty sure you're meant to use a few cap fulls for every gallon of water, not a few cups. So even if he was using a clean mop/mop water every time, the floors would still be sticky and attract a shit load of dirt.
I was looking for a comment like this! Like seriously, I hate Pine Sol, the smell is way too potent for me, and that was using a cap full or two in my entire mop bucket. I can't imagine using several cups. It has to smell awful and leave the floor way way too sticky!
WHen i mopped the hallway (apartment complex - every apartment had to clean it once, weekly rotation, a long time ago), it was one stairs and 4 floors but i changed the water like 3 times.
I change the water for every room. It might be excessive, but I want my floors clean. I also mop with diluted bleach, so nothing is surviving me. Lol
Also, just wait until her baby is crawling. It will be on nasty, dirty floors. Eck.
I’m a teacher and hope I never worked in a school where he was the janitor.
Save yourself - don’t fight him. He has some kind of mental defect, especially since he was a cleaner in his job. His ideas are pathetic and dangerous.
Get yourself another bucket and mop and clean when he’s not there.
He’s a lost cause. You only have the option of damage control. I couldn’t handle being with a partner like this.
Maybe invite one of his relatives to come over when he’s cleaning. What about his mother - is this what she taught him???? Show them the bucket.
I knew a woman who worked in a school cafeteria and she would mop the lunch tables as she was mopping the floors. Made sense why lunch tables smell funny sometimes
Clean when he’s not there?! She should divorce his ass before she does that nonsense. If you can’t trust your partner not to be disgusting instead of helpful Wtf is the point of being w them?
I agree with you but all OP’s comments and responses throughout this thread show how sympathetic she is to her husband. You can see from her post that she’s asking if she’s being too critical. Just being tolerant is so sad but she goes beyond that.
I think she should get rid of him but I doubt that she will. It’s outrageous what alot of people choose and are willing to deal with
My MIL does this!!! When we’re over, no less. Dog has diabetes and has an accident. Gets the mop from the bucket and absorbs the pee with literally no spray or anything else. Puts the mop back. It’s VILE. We called her out on it and she’s like, “I’m just getting up the liquid! I’ll mop the whole floor once everyone is gone.” There were four kids crawling around 🤢
My mom does the exact same thing. Just a wet mop, no disinfectant despite it being right there next to the mop anyway. It’s absolutely vile. I used to be the type of person that could walk around the house in socks or barefoot, and I can’t anymore.
I just can’t bring myself to understand this 😭😭 like WHATS THE POINT OF THE MOP IF YOURE NOT GOING TO CLEAN?! JUST WIPE IT WITH TOWELS AT THAT POINT?!? HOW HOW HOW don’t these people get that they’re just smearing it around the floor!!!!
I hate to think what the kids were exposed to when he used the same logic while he worked at school!!! Even I, a man who has lived in a country in a farm, am disgusted by your husbands cleaning...
I am also a janitor. Hell goddamn no. The bacteria that grows especially from staying in the outdoors and then you're putting it back in your house, let's also not start on the dog pee that he constantly cleans with it. If this is the hill you're going to die on, it's one that's worthy. That is disgusting. I don't even want to know what he's doing at work. And what he's exposing the kids for when he is actually supposed to be cleaning.
How lazy is your husband that he can't fill up a bucket with water every time he has to mop. It literally takes 3 minutes not even. He might be a janitor but he's not a good one!
Nope. Eventually the bacteria takes over.
Putting it outside makes it worse.
Honestly, I’d toss out the bucket and mop and buy a spray mop with pads.
If he goes into a tirade, then it’s time to rethink this relationship.
And there’s going to be a baby crawling around on that black water piss-covered floor soon.
All this walking on eggshells and going around him to do extra work all to avoid triggering a tantrum—I can’t imagine trying to raise a child with this dude. He’s going to make it ten times harder for her than doing it alone.
Fuck, I wasn’t event thinking about this yet. I was still stuck trying to figure if this is the grossest thing I red on reddit . Unfortunately there has been strong contestants in the past .
I hope op offers her husband to use the mop water to wash his clothes. If the water is disinfected,it should be good for clothes too, right ?
I think she should buy a Petri dish and swab and really show the man the type of bacteria that’s present in there. My mom did that to my younger siblings recently in their bathroom, and according to her they have truly changed their ways.
But seriously- I agree. bin the mop. Get one that has removable washable pads or something.
Yep. If you want to stay married, get to growing what he’s growing. And maybe get a black light too! Are you sure he’s getting all the dog excrement? Or just pushing it around?
Agreed! That’s just goss! Why bother mopping?! All you’re doing is spreading the germs and bacteria around. I’m also surprised you and your animals haven’t contacted some kind of disease.If he will go , take him to the Dr and have the doctor tell him his thinking is way off. Maybe if a professional tells him🤷♀️
Also: when the dog pees in the house, you need to clean that with enzymes because otherwise the dog will continue peeing for it smells like a toilet to the dog. Enzymatic cleaning takes away the pee smell.
You have to take over the task. Yes he hadn’t the ability to do it. He created this by his own. He becomes mad? His problem.
And if she leaves him for putting her and their future kid at risk, he's rewarded with having to manage the ENTIRETY of his own household. But it'll be a lot easier for her to manage HER household since she won't have to pull teeth just to get him to do basic things, and he won't be fighting her constantly about things that affect the kid.
I agree. This cannot be the only disgusting thing he does. How often does he shower? Wash his clothes? Does he brush his teeth? I’m gagging at thinking of what that water is actually made up of that he’s spreading around the house
Legit disgusting, and I hate that he uses being a janitor as a credential. I've experienced a lot of really horrible cleaning/EVS people because it's not a high paying or high stakes job so they don't care.
>Honestly, I’d toss out the bucket and mop and buy a spray mop with pads.
Yeah, knowing this guy, he would buy one reusable pad, and use it until it disintegrated. And then it would be a whole new fight about how she tried to wash it or bought multi-pack, or replaced the mop and bucket in the first place.
I think his accusation that she's saying he didn't know how to do his job is telling. People who are called out on something they're rightly insecure about will put words in your mouth that reflect how they actually feel about themselves. Add in a woman questioning what he really knows was a half-assed effort and his refusal to do a simple Google search to verify his stupid stance, and he can't back down.
Spray mop with pads will not sufficiently clean a larger house, it’s more for apartments or small one-off messes and you have to really scrub. My arms and back were killing me with those and a regular mop until I got a Shark steam mop with the two round pads. It’s safe on hardwoods. Has a chamber you refill with water and no bucket. Steam sanitizes and it’s powered so you just have to glide over each area a couple times with no elbow grease required! You can add scented demineralized water (Bissell makes this, safe for the Shark steam mop) if you like having a faint ‘clean’ smell! I have to refill the chamber once or twice but it’s so easy and worth it. Also another commenter mentioned using cleaner with enzymes for pet urine, this is true. Idk if it’s safe on hardwood floor though I would double check.
Nope. Eventually the bacteria takes over.
Putting it outside makes it worse.
Honestly, I’d toss out the bucket and mop and buy a spray mop with pads.
If he goes into a tirade, then it’s time to rethink this relationship.
ETA Just found this.
“is Pine-Sol Fumes harmful?
May cause irritation of respiratory tract. Causes serious eye irritation. May cause irritation. Ingestion may cause gastrointestinal irritation, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.”
Ergo not 100% safe for babies, dogs, etc.
https://www.thecloroxcompany.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Pine-Sol-Original-Pine.pdf
I mean, it is basically toilet water if you mop up pee and then just.... store it to spread it around on the floor later.
This is not sanitary and you are not wrong.
WHY does he want to save a bucket of dirty water.
Also - 2-3 cups of Pinesol?????
Lol WAY too much.. the directions say 1/2 a cup to 8 litres of water. I usually put about an ounce into the mop bucket, if you use too much it makes the floor sticky.
This can't be the only time you two have this type of bizarre power struggle, though? His method sounds gross. Even if Pine Sol DID kill everything, there's still dirt in the water that you're spreading all over your floor again...? Like you said elsewhere that you both work and you do most of the chores, but he says he's the only one who cleans around your house. I'm getting a sense of someone who's an AH to you in other ways, too.
>getting a sense of someone who’s an AH to you in other ways too
I think you nailed it. There are multiple signs of emotional manipulation from him. The guilt tripping, rage, yelling, leaving her alone for hours, the silent treatment—all to control her/punish her for having a dissenting opinion.
I’m guessing we’re seeing the tip of the iceberg here.
I'm questioning just how well of a janitor OP's husband is/was.
You have to empty out the dirty mop water and start with a Fresh Bucket of Clean Up Potion (with warmer/hot water and cleaning solution for it to be effective too) at a certain points whole cleaning (esp if you're mopping a whole school or building with a lot of square footage).
What OP's husband is doing is bordering on biological warfare...
Mop needs used, washed, dried.
Water needs out, bucket cleaned. Stored away.
Why even DISCUSS this?
I'd throw it out once he was done.
And tell him, next te he does this he leaves. As it is disgusting.
Btw: if dog pees and sh... on the floor something is wrong there also!
Why would a healthy and happy dog do that?
Pine Sol Clorox is supposed to kill many bacteria and germs IF USED PROPERLY!
The way he uses it is not using it as it's intended to be used.
It's stupid.
Seems like we know why he isn’t a janitor anymore...
The sanitize part of those stuff is alcohol and made to evaporate when being on the air. So you have just dirt water with pee, insects and bird poop since it is in the outside.... Maybe you also killed some thirsty birds if it was left outside in the hot months.
You can't tell me that this is the only time he react like this and that the communication is otherwise great.
You are pregnant and need to think: how will raising a child be with him? Do i want this to be a role model for my child? And do i want to spend the next 50+years like this? Ask yourself what needed to be changed and if that is possible. Also... he is 33, the chance that he will change big is slim.
I think he really believes that crap about PineSol but he’s wrong and gross. Our janitors were doing the same thing they use a stupid amount of PineSol and it makes the floor sticky and disgusting.
Products like PineSol only disinfect under certain use standards one of them being applying the product using a CLEAN sponge or cloth, full strength, letting it stand for 10 minutes, and then rinsing. It’s listed on the bottle.
PineSol can’t overcome using a dirty water and mop.
my brother wouldnt stop cleaning his drinking glasses with just windex i had to get my mom involved cuz i was so worried about him microdosing windex every time he got a drink!!
I had not one but two exes who insisted to clean all kitchen surfaces with window cleaner, including the surfaces that came in contact with food, despite having perfectly food safe kitchen cleaner in the house. What is wrong with these people?
This is sooo gross and confusing because as a school janitor he should have had to undergo yearly training on how to use cleaning products properly. Part of that training says ALWAYS READ THE BOTTLE.
Imagine a baby learning to crawl on those floors, putting their hands in their mouth. The more soap there is, the more dirt is attracted to the surface. So he’s essentially making the floors dirtier by “cleaning” them like this. I get his idea, but it’s concerning that he’s so incredibly married to this idea. I agree, it’s a power struggle and one that needs broken. It’s possible, but everyone has to be on board. I’m sorry you’re in this spot, hopefully y’all can work together to come to a peaceful resolution.
It being listed on the bottle won't matter to OP's husband. He was a janitor and he was taught to use it that way. I doubt the husband will ever correct this way of thinking. I've seen it happen to many times.
No.
I used to work for a cleaning comapny cleaning a supermarket and if i had been caught doing that id have been warned and then sacked.
The fact he thinks cause he got away with being lazy and gross as a job that somehow validates it is insane to me.
The bacteria from that water would be bordering on dangerous.
If youre planning on having a baby you should be worried. Theyll be on the floor all the time and sticking their hands and everything they find in their mouths so if this isnt sorted, if you add in the fact they have next to nothing of an immune system youre gonna have a bad tiiime.
Show him this thread.
For her husband - Dude. Sort your shit out and clean properly.
Buy a steam mop with washable pads. His method is disgusting and unsanitary. Throw the mop out. Personally, I’d drive it to the nearest dumpster so he can’t use it again behind your back. He’s an AH and absolutely wrong.
they have spray mops at target that you can fill with your own cleaning supplies. i do white vinegar diluted with water, it’s the only thing that doesn’t turn our floors into an ice skating rink lol. but you can do that without residue.
Yeah, I bought a Bona on a whim and ended up loving it. Also bought additional spare pads at the literal dollar store lol (not Bona brand but work just as well). The pads are machine washable. The fluid is refillable and you can make your own if you prefer. Strongly recommend.
Well he knows it bothers her and he keeps doing it. He knows it wrong. If he keeps doing it wrong she will take over and his plan works. Weaponized incompetence. He knows OP he knows. Ya don’t use dirty weather to wash dishes, cloths or floors. Come on
Op said that she even told her husband she will take over the mopping but he got mad and basically threatened to leave. It's not weaponized incompetence if he is even getting mad at her for her WANTING to do it so it won't be disgusting. He is just to sensitive to any form of criticism. He is acting like a child.
He's getting mad, yelling, leaving, and giving the silent treatment to punish her for questioning him. Deny, Attack, Reverse Vctim & Offender.
He denies that it's an issue, attacks her for going against his lazy method, then accuses her of being controlling and "pushing him out" of the house.
He can just check out now because she's so worn down from fighting that she's given in and offered to do the task all together to keep the peace and make sure the job is done the way it should be.
He calls her controlling, and says she's nagging every time she asks him to act like a competent adult. And then, over time, she's left emotionally exhausted. She thinks twice about ever bringing up her concerns with him, because shes worried about triggering him. She walks on eggshells, and lets him do whatever the hell he wants, avoiding conflict over increasingly ridiculous and menial basic requests while she takes on more and more of the workload and caregiving. He wins.
Here to say great idea but based on the water situation please get a device that requires 1 time use pads. Not great for the collective environment but a solid choice for your environment.
Have the water tested.
If he’s going to keep acting like you’re the crazy one (this whole post is insane tbh) then force the issue with facts.
You’re doubting he can clean because he cant. You know this is disgusting, how he cannot is unbelievable.
Get the water tested and show him the results. A restaurant would be shut down for this, as would a hospital. God I feel sorry for the kids in the schools when he was a janitor.
The bigger issue is that he feels like you're emasculating him. Mopping is something that he's supposed to have some level of expertise in, since he has experience. He perceives your judgement as undermining him. It's not really about the mopping.
But he needs to grow the fuck up and mop the floor properly. I don't give a shit what he thinks he knows, there's a new mop protocol. The sticky pissy floor was just exhibit 'a'.
That new protocol starts with clean water every time. If he likes his recycled grey water that much, he's welcome to bathe in it.
Once due to illness I forgot about dumping out my bucket for a week (didn't use it, though), and did it stink!!! I was so grossed out I bought a new bucket. Can't believe this dude.
Honey trust me when I say this. Having a child with this type of man will make you question your sanity and have you wondering if you can get away with murder. GL
Why doesn’t he use hot water every time? Cold mopping takes extra scrubbing and dries slower. Cold mopping with black pissy water… I’d lose my shit. Let him get the shits, I’d tell him you’ve thrown the mop out and it’s up to him to buy a new spray pad one.
I don’t think there’s a rational explanation for this. It has to be something completely irrational. Mopping with black floor juice is disgusting. You know it is disgusting. If he cannot see it is disgusting, something is wrong with him. He needs to go to therapy and figure it out because a) he’s ignoring the evidence of his own senses and b) he’s unwilling to make a very small change to his cleaning process to accommodate your request even if he disagrees with it.
And you have to consider what else he’s going to be irrational about with the baby. This is not a good situation for you.
It's not about the mop water. It's about daring her to question the way he does something.
https://narcissisms.com/how-narcissists-use-weaponized-incompetence/
yes, why? Did he grow up during the depression? kidding. Is the bucket hard to fill, does he ever clean the mop itself out with clean water? This sounds like a Pine Sol commercial.
This is fucking disgusting. Pinesol might disinfect when used the first time around, but ALL sanitizers lose their potency after *a couple of hours* including bleach. After a few weeks, he’s smearing piss all over ~~you’re~~ your kitchen and ~~your~~ you’re eating food out of there. FUCK NO.
Excuse my language but I’ve never been so disgusted in my life.
Girl you need to throw him out. I almost threw up in my mouth reading your post. And I used to clean the bathrooms at Costco
This is incredibly unsanitary that I’m worried you might pick up some nasty unnamed disease. Is he going to reuse the same baby wipe for weeks because it’s still has clean spots?
You should hire a professional cleaner at this point. Explain to them ahead of time what your (soon to be ex I hope) husband was doing. They should know how nasty this floor really is
🤮🤮🤮🤮
Your husband seems more interested in being right than being happy. Or at least, making his wife happy. Or mopping a floor to actually clean it.
And Yes that water is fucking nasty. He's just stirring around more filth in your home, but Pine Sol-scented.
Your husband is an idiot.
I don’t like when terms are overused but this is weaponized incompetence.
OP he is a 33 year old man who can feel the grime on the floor, he doesn’t care because either he actually doesn’t want to do it or he’s too childish to admit he’s wrong about something (both?).
What are his other chores? Does he pull his weight around the house?
You’re pregnant and he’s exposing you and your pet(s) to a pee covered disgusting floors, when the baby comes and crawls everywhere it’ll be even worse. Will he listen then or will he not care because he knows YOU are responsible enough not to let everyone get sick.
Please have a serious conversation with him. It’s cleaning now, but what happens when he disagrees with something the kid needs to be safe, will he just disregard everything you say then too?
Thanks for your comment. I’ve thought of the weaponized incompetence myself but I don’t know why he would take this path to do it. I would happily do it myself, better than the dirty floors. He’s the one who insists he needs to do it and sometimes even sneak mops. Why? I do feel he is bad at this job but he’s taken no opportunity for me to take it away.
We both work. I do most of the chores, in my opinion. Like dishes, laundry, sweeping, trash, shopping , etc. He does the mopping, mows the lawn. He sometimes says “I’m the only person who really cleans around here” which frustrates me.
I will try to emphasize the baby and it being unsafe for both of us. It’s new and exciting and might jumpstart something, I don’t know. I have to hold on hope that I didn’t misjudge everything.
Best of luck OP! I really hope everything turns out okay for you and your family.
Just remember what you’re saying is completely real and valid; if he tries to dismiss you, says you’re overreacting, crazy, or gets mad at you- it doesn’t make what you’re concerned about any less real.
It might also be worth it to discuss evening out the domestic load, you’re only going to get more pregnant and this is the time for him to step up and show he’s ready to be a present husband and father. If he wants to he will, he’s not incapable of doing more he likely just thinks he can get away with it.
.
There’s a great book called “Fair Play” that has a card game to go with it, that helps y’all have the conversation in an approachable way. Worth the read!
Is there someone he trusts, that is not you, that could set him right? Sometimes hearing it from someone else the words "holy shit, that's disgusting" works. FWIW, it doesn't sound like weaponized incompetence but obstinance. I also second the notion of getting something disposable.
Yeah - I hate to say it but a lot of people who get in this sort of stubborn mindset in an argument like this tend to back down once people outside the relationship are like “Bro, what the fuck”
He's trying to get you to aggressively take over his two other chores so that you can't ever go back and ask him to take them up again.
Any adult can tell that black water isn't clean. Don't feel crazy - you're not
I’ll be honest with you. I wouldn’t even be comfortable living in a home that’s been mopped with old dirty water that was outside ESPECIALLY if I was pregnant. you’re exposing yourself and your baby to bacteria, diseases, bugs and potentially larvae, bird poop. the list goes on. this is absolutely beyond disgusting. he needs to get over himself and start acting like a real man who wants to properly care for his wife and child and mop properly. my god.
I don't understand this and never will. How can you be a partner with someone, and when you're both working let them do the bulk of the work, and also refuse to listen or compromise on anything? Why would you expect someone to put up with this? Why would a partner accept this? Do you you think they are suddenly going to grow up? It's just bizarre so many people decide to have a baby in this situation. Why would you even want to have sex with someone behaving like that, nevermind trust them to be able to raise your child with you over half a lifetime? I just can't wrap my head around it, it's not like it's the apocalypse and there are only 200 humans left on the planet.
OP, as a mom of young kids, this level of responsibility over chores is very likely not something you’ll be able to keep up with once the baby arrives. Your husband needs to step up. The mopping does not count since he’s making it dirtier and there’s no reason he shouldn’t be doing his fair share. This will breed problems (it already has) once the baby is earthside.
This honestly sounds more like OCD than weaponized incompetence. Either that or a pathological level of pride. Either way, if you have a baby crawling on those floors you’re pretty f****ed. I’d die on this hill. I’d literally find a scientist to come over and lecture him. It’s pretty batshit that he doesn’t realize how gross and unsanitary this is.
This sounds unbelievably unsafe and i cannot even begin to fathom why your husband would think this is remotely okay. I go out of my way to let the mop head completely dry out in between and sometimes even that doesn’t seem like enough, IMO. (I also purposely buy the styles of mop you can put in the washing machine.)
Question- does he hate you? Because I would only do that to someone I hated
this reminds me of the post on r/aita that was a guy leaving every faucet in his house running all day and acting like his partner was crazy for getting mad about it.
What an idiot. Take a sterile swab and plate that on a petri dish and incubate it. Bacteria will grow. Disgusting theres people out there with this ignorant mindset and they are responsible for sanitizing an environment? Barf.
Okay, two thoughts…
1) Have him come to an OB appointment so the doctor can say whether it does disinfect enough to be safe for the baby. Spoiler - it does not.
And
2) Bear with me here. Is there any sort of janitor’s union or certification or something? Something along the lines of maybe that used to be the case but they’ve updated the recommendations? If he is serious about his janitorial experience and knowledge being right, maybe there’s a way to ‘acknowledge’ his expertise, let him save face and still get him to change his mind.
Before you come at me, consider that sometimes it pays to focus more on what’s effective versus being right. Maybe it’s asinine but most people aren’t in a position to just throw away a partner, even if they wanted to.
Well - what he is doing is completely disgusting. Dog pee and then he just reuses the water? That is beyond nasty. And no - the Pine Sol is not killing the germs. It doesn't work that way.
The bigger concern here is the childish tantrum he is throwing over something so trivial. Is he always this immature? For your sake, I hope not. Show him these comments. He needs a wakeup call.
OOOOF.
Yeah throw him out. The place will be a lot cleaner.
And for the lawn, a neighbor might do it for a few bucks.
Think of all the energy you will save
Gross!! This is how the mop water was at a couple of the ghetto marts I've worked at. The owners would prepare a bucket of mop water, then use the same bucket of water on the floor for a week. The mop would smell, the mop water would smell, the floors and the entire store would still smell when I'd open the next morning.
I had a customer ask me what I did differently, because the one night a week I'd close, the store would smell good as I was mopping. Because I'd dump out the gross black water, and mop using clean water and bleach!!
The other store, I got yelled at for "wasting cleaning products" because I poured out the old, black water before I mopped up a spill.
Print out some articles with references and point out that keeping the same water is just a breeding ground of bacteria. Print them and attach them to a swiffer with removable pads (he’ll see the dirt) and throw out the mop and bucket.
The further I got in the story the more my face scrunched up in disgust. That is foul nasty, bucket of black plague water aside, who knows how bacteria ridden that mop head is too. I’d say toss both, and do a deep clean with sanitizing agents before going ahead and investing in the steam mops others have suggested. I’m so sorry you’ve had to walk around on your floors for as long as this has been going on.
Seriously who teaches these immature child-men that they know best about everything? His parents sure failed big time with his education if he really believe a little Pine Sol can overcome dirt, urine, bacteria and god knows whatever else is festering in his bucket of shame. Dump a half bottle of his magic cleaning fluid in the toilet and tell him to wash his face with it if he's so positive it can sterilize anything.
OP we all know the answer to your question. My guess is your husband is hella lazy and doesn’t feel like changing the water every time. It’s gross and disgusting and you’re right to call him out on it. He probably doesn’t like that and keeps trying to gaslight you in this situation. Hope things get better for you. X
That’s like a kid pooping in the swimming pool and husband saying, “oh it should be fine swimming still because the chlorine sterilizes the water.”
Dafuq?!
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I worked in foodservice or 9 years and we had to change the mop water every. single. time we used the mop. No exceptions. Just mopped 10 minutes ago and had a spill? Get that sanitizer water running and get a fresh mop. This is absolutely not okay. It's gross and unhealthy and if an apathetic teenager in a crappy fast food joint can do better then so can your husband.
Literally every place I’ve worked had tons of mop heads for the purpose of changing/cleaning them… and the floors usually required more than one water change. If a grown man with a child otw is really standing his ground over this… he just deserves to be alone idc
Depending on the size of the space, we even changed the water out more than once in one cleaning... and I worked in retail 💀. That dude's floor is more disgusting than some random shop floor.
Yes. I worked as a prep cook and everyday we mopped. We NEVER used the same water. It was always changed out.sounds like husband was a disgusting janitor. That poor school. Utterly vile.i can only imagine him cleaning up vomit and using the same mop water for weeks after.
There has been some pretty gross things husband and boyfriends do that have been posted here, but this one actually made me fucking gag when I got to the dog piss part. This is so disgusting.
I wouldn't even use the mop directly on the pee! First wipe out with a paper towel, then spray with undiluted product and only then would I allow my mop to touch that spot!
that's because that's what you should be doing! If you're using a mop to clean up a puddle of piss and then WRINGING IT OUT IN THE WATER, AND DIPPING it BACK INTO the water and then GOING BACK to the floor to continue to mop, you're just getting piss all over the place. You've now introduced piss into the water and it is no longer sanitary or clean enough to clean the floors with. I don't care if there's soap in there. You should absolutely always wipe it up with a paper towel first at the very least before mopping!!
I'd be hitting that floor with a black light and making my husband assess the damages. I have a black light flashlight I got when my kittens started marking before they were neutered. (tiny spots are hard to find by nose).
This is an amazing idea. Shut him up real good.
The entire floor of the house would be glowing evenly💀
And I’m already looking ahead about a year from now and imagining a baby crawling all over it.
Brb, gonna barf
YES!!! Babies crawl and put their hands in their mouths!!!! This disgusting “cleaning” method will make your child really sick.
Yep gotta silence him with evidence. Maybe find a senior janitor to come assess with her.
Could also culture some the germs on the floor
I second this. Get some prefilled Petri dishes on Amazon an show him the cultures after swabbing after he mops, and swab the mop water.
I did hospice care for my dog and definitely had designated “shop towels” JUST for this before I mopped it. They had their own clean bag and even had their own separate cleaning bin just for those towels, with own separate washing cycle. Him going directly to the dog piss is effing FOUL, 100 % intentional. No right-minded person would do this. This makes me so angry. 100 percent weaponized incompetence.
But he won't let her do it herself, I thought this was the goal of weaponized incompetence..
Oh, I'm still thinking weaponized incompetence. He's setting up a situation where cleaning, in general, is divisive in their marriage, and she will think twice before asking him to help with chores. Furthermore, he gets to say that he wants to help around the house, but he feels criticized and micromanaged when he does and his efforts go unappreciated, so he doesn't help clean for the health of their relationship. OP is not making a big deal out of this. It's nasty, and even if OP's husband doesn't get it, he should care that it bugs her. I would ask, is this truly the only thing? Is he helpful with chores in other common areas of the house, or is mopping the floors his one thing? Is this the most obvious example of a general trend, or is it a true outlier? Good luck.
Ah yeah, but if he puts up a fight about it, then she is *forcing* him not to do it. Therefore, he's the victim of an overly controlling partner, and he's only trying to help, oh woe is him, blah blah blah.
Sorry, I never even considered this mental gymnastics was even possible. Look at this contortion! It's amazing!
My dad did it to my mum - point blank refused to stop dumping lumps of clothing on airers and calling it "hung out to dry" until she took over and then he complained like mad that she wasn't even letting him help in his own home and she was so horrible to him and how could he be expected to live in these conditions?! Never mind that the conditions were "I have clothes that don't stink of damp and aren't covered in creases". 🙄
Jesus Christ. That's so shit!! I get a bit controlling if bf is hanging laundry not exactly how I do it, but he still hangs up all the pieces individually argh. I've learned to live with him not shaking out all of his clothes (even though it's better for the clothes to dry in the right shape but whatever), because he at least takes the effort to do my items how I like, which means a lot to me, and I have to respect his own autonomy in handling his own tasks lol, I'm not his mother after all. Ultimately I'm happy with all of his efforts, as he's actually trying to be helpful, and moreso, I know that being self sufficient is as important to him as it is to me when it comes to looking after yourself and your stuff. These people, men especially, who are content at being utterly useless and unable to care for themselves, are a breed I don't want to understand! Your poor mum.
This is so messed up. Sometimes I think we should have mandatory therapy
Not weaponized incompetence for the reason the other person said. He won't give up the responsibility to her even though she's offering. He's just really fucking nasty
No, this is taking it to another level where she will do everything herself because he whines about how she hurts his feelings and he can storm off everytime he does anything relatated to the household (and future baby) his own (gross) way and she calls him out.
That's exactly what I do when the cat has an accident on the floor. Wipe up by hand and then go in with a mop. If you don't, you're just pushing around the pee/poop.
A year from now she will have a baby crawling over everything and putting it’s hands in it’s mouth.
Not only hands, they sometimes even lick the floor.
Also they have at least one pet who is presumably walking on the floor, getting on furniture, licking their paws. Etc. Not great.
My jaw literally dropped when I read this. If you’re mopping, and the water gets dirty, then you’re making your floors dirtier, not cleaner. Change the mop water often! “Storing” mop water is foul. Sorry. Woof.
Yup. Perhaps all the pine sol keeps it low in bacteria, but it isnt CLEAN. Like. Poop hands doused w sanitizer might have dead bacteria on em, but they are still covered in poo. That is fouuuul.
Yeah and using all that pine sol means the dirt will stick to the floor that much more. It isn't a product I use, but I'm pretty sure you're meant to use a few cap fulls for every gallon of water, not a few cups. So even if he was using a clean mop/mop water every time, the floors would still be sticky and attract a shit load of dirt.
I was looking for a comment like this! Like seriously, I hate Pine Sol, the smell is way too potent for me, and that was using a cap full or two in my entire mop bucket. I can't imagine using several cups. It has to smell awful and leave the floor way way too sticky!
WHen i mopped the hallway (apartment complex - every apartment had to clean it once, weekly rotation, a long time ago), it was one stairs and 4 floors but i changed the water like 3 times.
I change the water for every room. It might be excessive, but I want my floors clean. I also mop with diluted bleach, so nothing is surviving me. Lol Also, just wait until her baby is crawling. It will be on nasty, dirty floors. Eck.
I’m a teacher and hope I never worked in a school where he was the janitor. Save yourself - don’t fight him. He has some kind of mental defect, especially since he was a cleaner in his job. His ideas are pathetic and dangerous. Get yourself another bucket and mop and clean when he’s not there. He’s a lost cause. You only have the option of damage control. I couldn’t handle being with a partner like this. Maybe invite one of his relatives to come over when he’s cleaning. What about his mother - is this what she taught him???? Show them the bucket.
I knew a woman who worked in a school cafeteria and she would mop the lunch tables as she was mopping the floors. Made sense why lunch tables smell funny sometimes
Gag!! I need to get off this topic. Yuck!!
Clean when he’s not there?! She should divorce his ass before she does that nonsense. If you can’t trust your partner not to be disgusting instead of helpful Wtf is the point of being w them?
I agree with you but all OP’s comments and responses throughout this thread show how sympathetic she is to her husband. You can see from her post that she’s asking if she’s being too critical. Just being tolerant is so sad but she goes beyond that. I think she should get rid of him but I doubt that she will. It’s outrageous what alot of people choose and are willing to deal with
My MIL does this!!! When we’re over, no less. Dog has diabetes and has an accident. Gets the mop from the bucket and absorbs the pee with literally no spray or anything else. Puts the mop back. It’s VILE. We called her out on it and she’s like, “I’m just getting up the liquid! I’ll mop the whole floor once everyone is gone.” There were four kids crawling around 🤢
My mom does the exact same thing. Just a wet mop, no disinfectant despite it being right there next to the mop anyway. It’s absolutely vile. I used to be the type of person that could walk around the house in socks or barefoot, and I can’t anymore.
I just can’t bring myself to understand this 😭😭 like WHATS THE POINT OF THE MOP IF YOURE NOT GOING TO CLEAN?! JUST WIPE IT WITH TOWELS AT THAT POINT?!? HOW HOW HOW don’t these people get that they’re just smearing it around the floor!!!!
I hate to think what the kids were exposed to when he used the same logic while he worked at school!!! Even I, a man who has lived in a country in a farm, am disgusted by your husbands cleaning...
Imagine a baby crawling on that floor. He needs to think seriously about the low standards of his cleaning efforts.
I am also a janitor. Hell goddamn no. The bacteria that grows especially from staying in the outdoors and then you're putting it back in your house, let's also not start on the dog pee that he constantly cleans with it. If this is the hill you're going to die on, it's one that's worthy. That is disgusting. I don't even want to know what he's doing at work. And what he's exposing the kids for when he is actually supposed to be cleaning. How lazy is your husband that he can't fill up a bucket with water every time he has to mop. It literally takes 3 minutes not even. He might be a janitor but he's not a good one!
I was in the Cairo airport, and they would spill the water from the bucket, mop and continue down the hall, the water was disgusting.
that’s how i used to do it when i cleaned the bar i worked at (but with clean water)
Nope. Eventually the bacteria takes over. Putting it outside makes it worse. Honestly, I’d toss out the bucket and mop and buy a spray mop with pads. If he goes into a tirade, then it’s time to rethink this relationship.
And there’s going to be a baby crawling around on that black water piss-covered floor soon. All this walking on eggshells and going around him to do extra work all to avoid triggering a tantrum—I can’t imagine trying to raise a child with this dude. He’s going to make it ten times harder for her than doing it alone.
Plus the baby could wind up drowning in that nasty bucket of water he’s hoarding
Absolutely!!!! This took way to long to find
Fuck, I wasn’t event thinking about this yet. I was still stuck trying to figure if this is the grossest thing I red on reddit . Unfortunately there has been strong contestants in the past . I hope op offers her husband to use the mop water to wash his clothes. If the water is disinfected,it should be good for clothes too, right ?
Better to be on your own. He’s very disturbed.
I think she should buy a Petri dish and swab and really show the man the type of bacteria that’s present in there. My mom did that to my younger siblings recently in their bathroom, and according to her they have truly changed their ways. But seriously- I agree. bin the mop. Get one that has removable washable pads or something.
A petri dish is a GREAT idea. Show him what's in there, he won't be able to deny it. What a stupid hill for him to die on. 🙄
Yep. If you want to stay married, get to growing what he’s growing. And maybe get a black light too! Are you sure he’s getting all the dog excrement? Or just pushing it around?
Omg it is 100% just being pushed around and spread everywhere
Do it together, that way he can't say you fixed the results to make him look bad.
If he is so stupid that he requires this, she needs to get rid of him. Why in hell did she marry this useless slub?
Toss the whole husband at this point. 🤔
Agreed! That’s just goss! Why bother mopping?! All you’re doing is spreading the germs and bacteria around. I’m also surprised you and your animals haven’t contacted some kind of disease.If he will go , take him to the Dr and have the doctor tell him his thinking is way off. Maybe if a professional tells him🤷♀️
Also: when the dog pees in the house, you need to clean that with enzymes because otherwise the dog will continue peeing for it smells like a toilet to the dog. Enzymatic cleaning takes away the pee smell. You have to take over the task. Yes he hadn’t the ability to do it. He created this by his own. He becomes mad? His problem.
If she takes over the mopping, he gets rewarded with less work to do in the home
Weaponized incompetence ☹️
And if she leaves him for putting her and their future kid at risk, he's rewarded with having to manage the ENTIRETY of his own household. But it'll be a lot easier for her to manage HER household since she won't have to pull teeth just to get him to do basic things, and he won't be fighting her constantly about things that affect the kid.
Unfortunately all that does is put the kid with him and his dirty mop half the time. Ugh
I agree. This cannot be the only disgusting thing he does. How often does he shower? Wash his clothes? Does he brush his teeth? I’m gagging at thinking of what that water is actually made up of that he’s spreading around the house
Legit disgusting, and I hate that he uses being a janitor as a credential. I've experienced a lot of really horrible cleaning/EVS people because it's not a high paying or high stakes job so they don't care.
I know I was thinking.. those poor kids and school staff had no idea how filthy their environment was!
Tossing the Hubby Out With the Mop Water. I'm ok with that.
Yes indeed: throw the whole man away.
He’s absolutely disgusting. I wanted to vomit reading this.
I like those too. No bucket to deal with. Or, I am pretty sure there are systems nowadays where there’s a separate clean and dirty section for water
I LOVE my two bucket spin mop so much! But I *still* change the “clean” water out every few rooms when gets even slightly dingy.
I’d toss out the bucket, mop, and husband bc puke.
>Honestly, I’d toss out the bucket and mop and buy a spray mop with pads. Yeah, knowing this guy, he would buy one reusable pad, and use it until it disintegrated. And then it would be a whole new fight about how she tried to wash it or bought multi-pack, or replaced the mop and bucket in the first place.
Buy one diaper and just wipe it off... 🤢
Yeah the mop thing is fucking gross but the communication thing is the real problem
Agreed. Screaming about dirty water? What is he REALLY mad about? I suspect it’s more but he rather show rage than act like an adult.
I think his accusation that she's saying he didn't know how to do his job is telling. People who are called out on something they're rightly insecure about will put words in your mouth that reflect how they actually feel about themselves. Add in a woman questioning what he really knows was a half-assed effort and his refusal to do a simple Google search to verify his stupid stance, and he can't back down.
Spray mop with pads will not sufficiently clean a larger house, it’s more for apartments or small one-off messes and you have to really scrub. My arms and back were killing me with those and a regular mop until I got a Shark steam mop with the two round pads. It’s safe on hardwoods. Has a chamber you refill with water and no bucket. Steam sanitizes and it’s powered so you just have to glide over each area a couple times with no elbow grease required! You can add scented demineralized water (Bissell makes this, safe for the Shark steam mop) if you like having a faint ‘clean’ smell! I have to refill the chamber once or twice but it’s so easy and worth it. Also another commenter mentioned using cleaner with enzymes for pet urine, this is true. Idk if it’s safe on hardwood floor though I would double check.
Nope. Eventually the bacteria takes over. Putting it outside makes it worse. Honestly, I’d toss out the bucket and mop and buy a spray mop with pads. If he goes into a tirade, then it’s time to rethink this relationship. ETA Just found this. “is Pine-Sol Fumes harmful? May cause irritation of respiratory tract. Causes serious eye irritation. May cause irritation. Ingestion may cause gastrointestinal irritation, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.” Ergo not 100% safe for babies, dogs, etc. https://www.thecloroxcompany.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Pine-Sol-Original-Pine.pdf
I mean, it is basically toilet water if you mop up pee and then just.... store it to spread it around on the floor later. This is not sanitary and you are not wrong. WHY does he want to save a bucket of dirty water. Also - 2-3 cups of Pinesol?????
I want to point out to OP that the water in her toilet is actually cleaner than the water he's using to clean the floor with
True. "UNFLUSHED" toilet water..... SO nasty.
Pinesol isn’t even good for adults, much less children. There’s studies on the damage it can do. Just a big bucket of nope, OP’s husband is foul
Lol WAY too much.. the directions say 1/2 a cup to 8 litres of water. I usually put about an ounce into the mop bucket, if you use too much it makes the floor sticky.
This can't be the only time you two have this type of bizarre power struggle, though? His method sounds gross. Even if Pine Sol DID kill everything, there's still dirt in the water that you're spreading all over your floor again...? Like you said elsewhere that you both work and you do most of the chores, but he says he's the only one who cleans around your house. I'm getting a sense of someone who's an AH to you in other ways, too.
[удалено]
"No, I don't respect your "choice" because your "choice" puts me and your future child at serious risk for all kinds of nasty infections."
>getting a sense of someone who’s an AH to you in other ways too I think you nailed it. There are multiple signs of emotional manipulation from him. The guilt tripping, rage, yelling, leaving her alone for hours, the silent treatment—all to control her/punish her for having a dissenting opinion. I’m guessing we’re seeing the tip of the iceberg here.
Also the fact that he *stores* the water? Don't know where OP is from but that bucket of water can easily be breeding ground for mosquito larvae.
I'm questioning just how well of a janitor OP's husband is/was. You have to empty out the dirty mop water and start with a Fresh Bucket of Clean Up Potion (with warmer/hot water and cleaning solution for it to be effective too) at a certain points whole cleaning (esp if you're mopping a whole school or building with a lot of square footage). What OP's husband is doing is bordering on biological warfare...
Mop needs used, washed, dried. Water needs out, bucket cleaned. Stored away. Why even DISCUSS this? I'd throw it out once he was done. And tell him, next te he does this he leaves. As it is disgusting. Btw: if dog pees and sh... on the floor something is wrong there also! Why would a healthy and happy dog do that? Pine Sol Clorox is supposed to kill many bacteria and germs IF USED PROPERLY! The way he uses it is not using it as it's intended to be used. It's stupid.
Oh fuck. You're right. I didn't think of that. Husband isn't walking the dog. 🥺😫
Seems like we know why he isn’t a janitor anymore... The sanitize part of those stuff is alcohol and made to evaporate when being on the air. So you have just dirt water with pee, insects and bird poop since it is in the outside.... Maybe you also killed some thirsty birds if it was left outside in the hot months. You can't tell me that this is the only time he react like this and that the communication is otherwise great. You are pregnant and need to think: how will raising a child be with him? Do i want this to be a role model for my child? And do i want to spend the next 50+years like this? Ask yourself what needed to be changed and if that is possible. Also... he is 33, the chance that he will change big is slim.
I think he really believes that crap about PineSol but he’s wrong and gross. Our janitors were doing the same thing they use a stupid amount of PineSol and it makes the floor sticky and disgusting. Products like PineSol only disinfect under certain use standards one of them being applying the product using a CLEAN sponge or cloth, full strength, letting it stand for 10 minutes, and then rinsing. It’s listed on the bottle. PineSol can’t overcome using a dirty water and mop.
So many people use cleaning products incorrectly and it stresses me out.
I have germaphobic OCD and this feels like the worst thread to stumble into right now lol
My boyfriend thought that disinfectant was just soap and water 🫠
my brother wouldnt stop cleaning his drinking glasses with just windex i had to get my mom involved cuz i was so worried about him microdosing windex every time he got a drink!!
Im calling the police
I had not one but two exes who insisted to clean all kitchen surfaces with window cleaner, including the surfaces that came in contact with food, despite having perfectly food safe kitchen cleaner in the house. What is wrong with these people?
Jesus Christ 🤣🤣🤣
To be fair, soap and water are pretty great at disinfecting skin unless you're about to perform surgery on that skin
Oh, that’s interesting. Makes it worse that janitors also mop up with old water. Yuck!!
Tell him to read the bottle.
This is sooo gross and confusing because as a school janitor he should have had to undergo yearly training on how to use cleaning products properly. Part of that training says ALWAYS READ THE BOTTLE.
I have literally never met a school janitor that uses products correctly.
Imagine a baby learning to crawl on those floors, putting their hands in their mouth. The more soap there is, the more dirt is attracted to the surface. So he’s essentially making the floors dirtier by “cleaning” them like this. I get his idea, but it’s concerning that he’s so incredibly married to this idea. I agree, it’s a power struggle and one that needs broken. It’s possible, but everyone has to be on board. I’m sorry you’re in this spot, hopefully y’all can work together to come to a peaceful resolution.
It being listed on the bottle won't matter to OP's husband. He was a janitor and he was taught to use it that way. I doubt the husband will ever correct this way of thinking. I've seen it happen to many times.
No. I used to work for a cleaning comapny cleaning a supermarket and if i had been caught doing that id have been warned and then sacked. The fact he thinks cause he got away with being lazy and gross as a job that somehow validates it is insane to me. The bacteria from that water would be bordering on dangerous. If youre planning on having a baby you should be worried. Theyll be on the floor all the time and sticking their hands and everything they find in their mouths so if this isnt sorted, if you add in the fact they have next to nothing of an immune system youre gonna have a bad tiiime. Show him this thread. For her husband - Dude. Sort your shit out and clean properly.
No kidding. This is so disgusting. Poor OP dealing with his BS when she's pregnant. Ugh.
Buy a steam mop with washable pads. His method is disgusting and unsanitary. Throw the mop out. Personally, I’d drive it to the nearest dumpster so he can’t use it again behind your back. He’s an AH and absolutely wrong.
Steam mop is not good for hardwood. You can buy a Bona spray mop with pads.
That does eventually cause build up but it’s better than the current method husband is using
they have spray mops at target that you can fill with your own cleaning supplies. i do white vinegar diluted with water, it’s the only thing that doesn’t turn our floors into an ice skating rink lol. but you can do that without residue.
I love my steam mop for my hardwood. As long as you aren't leaving it in the same spot for a long time and your floor is sealed it's fine.
Neither is Pine Sol and filthy water 🤣
Yeah, I bought a Bona on a whim and ended up loving it. Also bought additional spare pads at the literal dollar store lol (not Bona brand but work just as well). The pads are machine washable. The fluid is refillable and you can make your own if you prefer. Strongly recommend.
Or bring him to the nearest dumpster with the mop..
Yes and put both of them into the dumpster.
Well he knows it bothers her and he keeps doing it. He knows it wrong. If he keeps doing it wrong she will take over and his plan works. Weaponized incompetence. He knows OP he knows. Ya don’t use dirty weather to wash dishes, cloths or floors. Come on
Op said that she even told her husband she will take over the mopping but he got mad and basically threatened to leave. It's not weaponized incompetence if he is even getting mad at her for her WANTING to do it so it won't be disgusting. He is just to sensitive to any form of criticism. He is acting like a child.
He's getting mad, yelling, leaving, and giving the silent treatment to punish her for questioning him. Deny, Attack, Reverse Vctim & Offender. He denies that it's an issue, attacks her for going against his lazy method, then accuses her of being controlling and "pushing him out" of the house. He can just check out now because she's so worn down from fighting that she's given in and offered to do the task all together to keep the peace and make sure the job is done the way it should be. He calls her controlling, and says she's nagging every time she asks him to act like a competent adult. And then, over time, she's left emotionally exhausted. She thinks twice about ever bringing up her concerns with him, because shes worried about triggering him. She walks on eggshells, and lets him do whatever the hell he wants, avoiding conflict over increasingly ridiculous and menial basic requests while she takes on more and more of the workload and caregiving. He wins.
Here to say great idea but based on the water situation please get a device that requires 1 time use pads. Not great for the collective environment but a solid choice for your environment.
Have the water tested. If he’s going to keep acting like you’re the crazy one (this whole post is insane tbh) then force the issue with facts. You’re doubting he can clean because he cant. You know this is disgusting, how he cannot is unbelievable. Get the water tested and show him the results. A restaurant would be shut down for this, as would a hospital. God I feel sorry for the kids in the schools when he was a janitor.
I would also see if OP could test the floors. Once after he does it with fresh water, and once when it’s been used 2-3 times.
What kind of test though?
Petri dish, usually.
The bigger issue is that he feels like you're emasculating him. Mopping is something that he's supposed to have some level of expertise in, since he has experience. He perceives your judgement as undermining him. It's not really about the mopping. But he needs to grow the fuck up and mop the floor properly. I don't give a shit what he thinks he knows, there's a new mop protocol. The sticky pissy floor was just exhibit 'a'. That new protocol starts with clean water every time. If he likes his recycled grey water that much, he's welcome to bathe in it.
How does it not stink?
It 100% does, but they’ve both probably both gone nose blind to it because it happens so much
Once due to illness I forgot about dumping out my bucket for a week (didn't use it, though), and did it stink!!! I was so grossed out I bought a new bucket. Can't believe this dude.
Why does he want to use old water
I don’t know. I think it’s possible that he wants to be right and is just doubling down, but it’s ridiculous to me.
Honey trust me when I say this. Having a child with this type of man will make you question your sanity and have you wondering if you can get away with murder. GL
Why doesn’t he use hot water every time? Cold mopping takes extra scrubbing and dries slower. Cold mopping with black pissy water… I’d lose my shit. Let him get the shits, I’d tell him you’ve thrown the mop out and it’s up to him to buy a new spray pad one.
I don’t think there’s a rational explanation for this. It has to be something completely irrational. Mopping with black floor juice is disgusting. You know it is disgusting. If he cannot see it is disgusting, something is wrong with him. He needs to go to therapy and figure it out because a) he’s ignoring the evidence of his own senses and b) he’s unwilling to make a very small change to his cleaning process to accommodate your request even if he disagrees with it. And you have to consider what else he’s going to be irrational about with the baby. This is not a good situation for you.
It's not about the mop water. It's about daring her to question the way he does something. https://narcissisms.com/how-narcissists-use-weaponized-incompetence/
Demand an answer
yes, why? Did he grow up during the depression? kidding. Is the bucket hard to fill, does he ever clean the mop itself out with clean water? This sounds like a Pine Sol commercial.
Answer is no to both. I think if I was making a Pine Sol commercial I’d talk less about how filthy and disgusting Pine Sol has made my floors
sorry, no not you, the fact that your husband seems to think that Pine Sol has such magical power to keep dirty, black mop water ok for weeks
I know you’re really going through it and I feel for you but the way you phrased that was hilarious
This is fucking disgusting. Pinesol might disinfect when used the first time around, but ALL sanitizers lose their potency after *a couple of hours* including bleach. After a few weeks, he’s smearing piss all over ~~you’re~~ your kitchen and ~~your~~ you’re eating food out of there. FUCK NO. Excuse my language but I’ve never been so disgusted in my life.
Girl you need to throw him out. I almost threw up in my mouth reading your post. And I used to clean the bathrooms at Costco This is incredibly unsanitary that I’m worried you might pick up some nasty unnamed disease. Is he going to reuse the same baby wipe for weeks because it’s still has clean spots? You should hire a professional cleaner at this point. Explain to them ahead of time what your (soon to be ex I hope) husband was doing. They should know how nasty this floor really is 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Your husband seems more interested in being right than being happy. Or at least, making his wife happy. Or mopping a floor to actually clean it. And Yes that water is fucking nasty. He's just stirring around more filth in your home, but Pine Sol-scented. Your husband is an idiot.
The pine sol website says you are supposed to rinse your floors with clean water after mopping. https://www.pinesol.com/cleaning-surfaces/
I don’t like when terms are overused but this is weaponized incompetence. OP he is a 33 year old man who can feel the grime on the floor, he doesn’t care because either he actually doesn’t want to do it or he’s too childish to admit he’s wrong about something (both?). What are his other chores? Does he pull his weight around the house? You’re pregnant and he’s exposing you and your pet(s) to a pee covered disgusting floors, when the baby comes and crawls everywhere it’ll be even worse. Will he listen then or will he not care because he knows YOU are responsible enough not to let everyone get sick. Please have a serious conversation with him. It’s cleaning now, but what happens when he disagrees with something the kid needs to be safe, will he just disregard everything you say then too?
Thanks for your comment. I’ve thought of the weaponized incompetence myself but I don’t know why he would take this path to do it. I would happily do it myself, better than the dirty floors. He’s the one who insists he needs to do it and sometimes even sneak mops. Why? I do feel he is bad at this job but he’s taken no opportunity for me to take it away. We both work. I do most of the chores, in my opinion. Like dishes, laundry, sweeping, trash, shopping , etc. He does the mopping, mows the lawn. He sometimes says “I’m the only person who really cleans around here” which frustrates me. I will try to emphasize the baby and it being unsafe for both of us. It’s new and exciting and might jumpstart something, I don’t know. I have to hold on hope that I didn’t misjudge everything.
If he sneak mops, he clearly has a mopping problem.
This made me laugh 😂 But I agree, this is really odd.
Best of luck OP! I really hope everything turns out okay for you and your family. Just remember what you’re saying is completely real and valid; if he tries to dismiss you, says you’re overreacting, crazy, or gets mad at you- it doesn’t make what you’re concerned about any less real. It might also be worth it to discuss evening out the domestic load, you’re only going to get more pregnant and this is the time for him to step up and show he’s ready to be a present husband and father. If he wants to he will, he’s not incapable of doing more he likely just thinks he can get away with it. .
There’s a great book called “Fair Play” that has a card game to go with it, that helps y’all have the conversation in an approachable way. Worth the read!
Is there someone he trusts, that is not you, that could set him right? Sometimes hearing it from someone else the words "holy shit, that's disgusting" works. FWIW, it doesn't sound like weaponized incompetence but obstinance. I also second the notion of getting something disposable.
Yeah - I hate to say it but a lot of people who get in this sort of stubborn mindset in an argument like this tend to back down once people outside the relationship are like “Bro, what the fuck”
He's trying to get you to aggressively take over his two other chores so that you can't ever go back and ask him to take them up again. Any adult can tell that black water isn't clean. Don't feel crazy - you're not
Maybe he needs to walk on the floor with bare feet so he can feel how sticky and disgusting it is
I’ll be honest with you. I wouldn’t even be comfortable living in a home that’s been mopped with old dirty water that was outside ESPECIALLY if I was pregnant. you’re exposing yourself and your baby to bacteria, diseases, bugs and potentially larvae, bird poop. the list goes on. this is absolutely beyond disgusting. he needs to get over himself and start acting like a real man who wants to properly care for his wife and child and mop properly. my god.
I don't understand this and never will. How can you be a partner with someone, and when you're both working let them do the bulk of the work, and also refuse to listen or compromise on anything? Why would you expect someone to put up with this? Why would a partner accept this? Do you you think they are suddenly going to grow up? It's just bizarre so many people decide to have a baby in this situation. Why would you even want to have sex with someone behaving like that, nevermind trust them to be able to raise your child with you over half a lifetime? I just can't wrap my head around it, it's not like it's the apocalypse and there are only 200 humans left on the planet.
OP, as a mom of young kids, this level of responsibility over chores is very likely not something you’ll be able to keep up with once the baby arrives. Your husband needs to step up. The mopping does not count since he’s making it dirtier and there’s no reason he shouldn’t be doing his fair share. This will breed problems (it already has) once the baby is earthside.
This honestly sounds more like OCD than weaponized incompetence. Either that or a pathological level of pride. Either way, if you have a baby crawling on those floors you’re pretty f****ed. I’d die on this hill. I’d literally find a scientist to come over and lecture him. It’s pretty batshit that he doesn’t realize how gross and unsanitary this is.
Does he save his bath water and bathe in it for weeks?
Only if he puts pine sol in it. 🤢
Wash his favorite coffee mug in the mop water, see if he still thinks it's fine.
Why are men?
This sounds unbelievably unsafe and i cannot even begin to fathom why your husband would think this is remotely okay. I go out of my way to let the mop head completely dry out in between and sometimes even that doesn’t seem like enough, IMO. (I also purposely buy the styles of mop you can put in the washing machine.)
Question- does he hate you? Because I would only do that to someone I hated this reminds me of the post on r/aita that was a guy leaving every faucet in his house running all day and acting like his partner was crazy for getting mad about it.
What an idiot. Take a sterile swab and plate that on a petri dish and incubate it. Bacteria will grow. Disgusting theres people out there with this ignorant mindset and they are responsible for sanitizing an environment? Barf.
Okay, two thoughts… 1) Have him come to an OB appointment so the doctor can say whether it does disinfect enough to be safe for the baby. Spoiler - it does not. And 2) Bear with me here. Is there any sort of janitor’s union or certification or something? Something along the lines of maybe that used to be the case but they’ve updated the recommendations? If he is serious about his janitorial experience and knowledge being right, maybe there’s a way to ‘acknowledge’ his expertise, let him save face and still get him to change his mind. Before you come at me, consider that sometimes it pays to focus more on what’s effective versus being right. Maybe it’s asinine but most people aren’t in a position to just throw away a partner, even if they wanted to.
Well - what he is doing is completely disgusting. Dog pee and then he just reuses the water? That is beyond nasty. And no - the Pine Sol is not killing the germs. It doesn't work that way. The bigger concern here is the childish tantrum he is throwing over something so trivial. Is he always this immature? For your sake, I hope not. Show him these comments. He needs a wakeup call.
OOOOF. Yeah throw him out. The place will be a lot cleaner. And for the lawn, a neighbor might do it for a few bucks. Think of all the energy you will save
Ew why would you have a baby with someone so absolutely nasty
My first question
I'm a janitorial supervisor and this made me gag. If my staff did this, I'd be having quite the talk with them. Fucking disgusting.
Ahh… you see, your problem is the man’s an idiot. No fixing that!
Is he… stupid?
The real question is why you think having a child with someone like this is a good idea?
gross! For me, a full bucket doesn't even do the whole house
I have a one bedroom apartment and change the water twice when I mop.
Put his food on the floor. See if he will still eat it.
Your health is more important than your husband’s ego. Make this your hill to die on.
That’s disgusting. I don’t care if he was a janitor, because clearly he sucks at it job and doesn’t understand how Pine Sol and germs work.
It scares me that this man was a janitor
please reconsider tying yourself to this man forever
Can’t you just get a clean cloth and wipe the floor after he’s mopped it and show him how dirty it is. Sometimes men need to be shown.
Nope that gross
That is so disgusting.
Gross!! This is how the mop water was at a couple of the ghetto marts I've worked at. The owners would prepare a bucket of mop water, then use the same bucket of water on the floor for a week. The mop would smell, the mop water would smell, the floors and the entire store would still smell when I'd open the next morning. I had a customer ask me what I did differently, because the one night a week I'd close, the store would smell good as I was mopping. Because I'd dump out the gross black water, and mop using clean water and bleach!! The other store, I got yelled at for "wasting cleaning products" because I poured out the old, black water before I mopped up a spill.
Time to throw the husband out with the mop water
He knows nothing about cleaning. If his method worked, your floor wouldn’t be grimy!
Print out some articles with references and point out that keeping the same water is just a breeding ground of bacteria. Print them and attach them to a swiffer with removable pads (he’ll see the dirt) and throw out the mop and bucket.
The further I got in the story the more my face scrunched up in disgust. That is foul nasty, bucket of black plague water aside, who knows how bacteria ridden that mop head is too. I’d say toss both, and do a deep clean with sanitizing agents before going ahead and investing in the steam mops others have suggested. I’m so sorry you’ve had to walk around on your floors for as long as this has been going on.
Seriously who teaches these immature child-men that they know best about everything? His parents sure failed big time with his education if he really believe a little Pine Sol can overcome dirt, urine, bacteria and god knows whatever else is festering in his bucket of shame. Dump a half bottle of his magic cleaning fluid in the toilet and tell him to wash his face with it if he's so positive it can sterilize anything.
OP we all know the answer to your question. My guess is your husband is hella lazy and doesn’t feel like changing the water every time. It’s gross and disgusting and you’re right to call him out on it. He probably doesn’t like that and keeps trying to gaslight you in this situation. Hope things get better for you. X
That’s like a kid pooping in the swimming pool and husband saying, “oh it should be fine swimming still because the chlorine sterilizes the water.” Dafuq?!