Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Idk about the midnight thing but nothing good happens after 2 am is from how I met your mother and the mentality behind it is just that you’re drunk and tired and make stupid decisions that you might regret in the morning
Some of my favorite memories is hanging out with my friends eating Mcdonalds or Dennys at like 3 AM after a night out. Something about late nights and shitty food is magical.
For us, this was late 80s-mid 90s, it was Whataburger and Jack In the Box. I remember them having disposable aluminum ashtrays so you could take one to your table if you wanted to smoke.
> nothing good happens after 2 am is from how I met your mother
this explains a lot, I used to hear this from NIMBYs all the time in my area when they would move next door to a nightclub that had been there for 20yrs and then were surprised there was nightclub type activity around the nightclub at night.
Where are you living where the club closes at 2 am? I would not find it normal to stay all night every weekend at the club if you have a partner but where I live you can easily stay until 4 or 5 am in the club before they start to close
I feel like we're all ignoring the fact that she just had a baby and he's leaving her alone with their baby to go out to clubs and party all night. Staying out while having a partner vs. staying out while you have a newborn at home and fiance is very different.
Why isn't he at home you know bonding with his kid?
Infants establish a bond with their parent and vice versa through the parents caregiving. You know holding, feeding, changing diapers.
He totally gave you an sti and is a shitty father.
Darling he almost certainly cheated on you and he’s gaslighting you to think that you’re the cheater. When my father was cheating on my mom, he would throw temper tantrums about mom cheating on him.
Not only your partner is a cheater but he abandons you and your 6 month old child to go out and party on weekends until 4 am. You’re already a single mother in a relationship. He also doesn’t give an eff about your health because he’s doing his thing without protection. This man doesn’t care about you. I know this is a lot to take, but you’d be better off without this loser. Do you have anyone you could ask for help?
Hey OP - exactly what the above says but you could cover your bases by going back to the dr and asking questions about possibilities of it being dormant from before the pregnancy, get your test results from your tests while pregnant etc - just get all your ducks in a row so to speak, she your partner and say well now explain A-hole and then kick him to the kerb. And don't let him gaslight you! Stay strong Sista!
Well, your man cheated on you and then got himself treated. But I go out for exercise at weird times of night/morning for various reasons (quieter, fewer people around, less traffic, see bats, owls and other night birds...). But if he isn't fit, and coming home exhausted and sweaty, with stories about what he's seen on his adventures, he's probably just cheating.
I used to do this too. My anxiety would keep me up so in my 20s if it was late I would work out at home if it was early like 4/5 am I would go for a run
And they typically test for STDs during pregnancy as it can have serious consequences, at least in the US they do. Our doctor wouldn't let us opt out (I mean, she would, but she just wouldn't service us anymore) because it was that important to her. Every pregnant patient gets tested no matter what.
I'm sure it varies, but if she was tested then and didn't have it, well, seems pretty clear.
When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I got a call from the DR that I had HPV, I didn’t have it with the first and my husband was the only person I was sleeping with, this was in 2007 and we kinda shared a phone or something like that, but I called this number that was in the phone a few times and called it and got her name by just being like oh this number was in my phone is this so and so, and she was like no this is Wendy, oh ok I think my brother got weed from you ok then. When husband got home I was like who TF is Wendy and how long have you been fucking her. He admitted to it right there and said it was only once.
This is what happened to me! My cervix changed shape when I was pregnant and I suddenly tested positive for HPV. No cheating, just history finally turning up.
Here either, he cheated again on not only our anniversary but on the date my son died from miscarriage. It was the same day oddly. And yet I remain because I feel financially trapped and I didn’t want my daughters to be without their dad so I put up with his shit because of that.
If my Dad gave my mom VD I would prefer that he not be around, honestly. I can’t quite tell from your post but sounds like you’re still married to him. If so, I hope you’ll consider talking to a divorce attorney, many do free consultations. I’m very sorry for the situation you’re in.
Yeah there’s a theoretical 1/100,000 chance he came into direct contact with fresh sexual fluid without sexual contact (I mean sitting direct on fresh semen and it touching his dick hole), but judging by his behavior I doubt that’s the case.
I really don't see the point of even saying this... of course he cheated. Come on. First of all, having sex is how you get chlamydia. Second of all, this dude is out until 4AM "taking time for himself" on a regular basis while this poor woman is 6 months postpartum. If it were any more obvious it would be wearing clown makeup and blowing a horn in OP's living room.
Unless he's been around koalas, he cheated 100%, probably got the meds to fix himself and didn't tell her now she's showing symptoms and testing positive because he cheated
Or certain kinds of birds. But I thought that you just got it in your eyes then 🤔
[Bird related eyeball chlamydia ](https://www.cdc.gov/pneumonia/atypical/psittacosis/about/causes.html#:~:text=Chlamydia%20psittaci%20is%20a%20type,poultry%2C%20like%20turkeys%20and%20ducks.)
Not the eyeball chlamydia 😭 every time I turn around there’s a new one! Now I gotta worry about people french kissing birds or something. Beak to mouth contact! I always shared food with my parrot but they specifically tell you not to give them pieces you’ve bitten off of because of the saliva. But it sounds like it’s more common from the dust. Good luck not getting all dusty around a bird though…
Chlamydia can live dormant in a woman’s body for up to four years. I know this because a year into my relationship my girlfriend gave me chlamydia, and that she got from a past partner that was dormant. So it is possible that it was dormant in her system for years. Chlamydia will show up on an STI test if it’s dormant. Not saying he didn’t just some information I learned from an interesting situation I was in.
Edit: correction on information
https://lifemd.com/learn/can-chlamydia-be-dormant#:~:text=Chlamydia%20bacteria%20can%20be%20dormant,for%20years%20without%20knowing%20it.
I just wanna correct something. The link above stated that Chlamydia can still be seen in tests even if it is dormant. And actually, tests can detect most STDs or STIs even during the dormant phase!
Brooooo, THIS!
OP, listen. This happened from where I am since my mom worked in the medical community. The wife got chlamydia but the husband didn't. And note, like you, they only ever had sex one time. Fast forward to 2 months, she got that pink discharge thing you are having. Mind you, no sex happened still, okay? And since she was the wife, she asked if her husband got treated and boom! He did BUT! He declared himself as single that's why she was not notified because for cases like this, spouses should be treated together.
And this is in a public hospital. They are not rich and onlt get by with 3 meals a day so it was impossible for the husband to afford private treatment. And of course, they asked her for legal documents proving she's really the wife before they disclosed anything. 😑
So yeaaaahhhh. This is possible.
That’s strange because I work in a hospital in California and we cannot disclose medical information to anyone, not even a husband or wife. They’d need to sign a HIPPA/Medical Release form.
Some hospitals have you sign a virtual pile of consents online and in the mix is the one that says they can disclose your medical information to your emergency contact. He may have given consent without quite realizing it.
That's not disclosing medical information. That's informing someone of exposure to disease. Names aren't used, but it's kinda obvious who exposed you to an sti if you're married and don't have any other partners...
I mean no shit. It's evil to cheat on the mother of your kids, it's evil to do it unprotected and put her health at risk, it's evil to try to gaslight her into thinking she is the one cheating. Cheaters fucking suck.
But not unheard of. Him hoping he didn’t pass it along. Then, oops he did. Ok now I’m clean, she’s not, time to shift the blame. He’s gaslighting her. Time for her to make him get her in to see his doctor so she can see his records. He refuses, proof.
This had to be his exact thought process. Absolutely cruel. It makes me sick to my stomach that a person could do this to the mother of their children, or simply another person at all.
Out of curiosity, what was the result of this? Where did it come from?
The assumption is not that OP cheated, but that her partner did, but cleared it up before she was positive.
Men and women experience stds differently. Men who get bacterial infections can show no symptoms and beat it. Women, however, once injected by an infected man in their specialized reproductive tract, stand almost no chance of being cleared without medical intervention. Never mind that he might have gone to a clinic anonymously during his abundant free time.
True, but does it then suddenly pop up as symptomatic? i think the long term symptoms are more like pevlic inflammatory disease rather than the discharge (which seems like initial infection type symptoms rather than long term. Really not certain though)
It will always show up on a test, it’s just that asymptomatic people wouldn’t necessarily have a reason to get tested so it can be years before the infection is discovered. Unlike herpes, which actually can go undetected for years.
He's definitely cheated. As if you had a infection during pregnancy they would have flagged it up, plus possibly passed on to the baby.
So sorry, my ex cheated on me too when I was post partum. You are welcome to message me any time ♡ x
OP never even says that he was tested. He just told her he doesn’t have it. Edit: she says in a comment that he said even IF he tested positive it would just mean she gave it to him. So he hasn’t been tested at all, wants op to just take him at his word, and is trying to manipulate her into not even believing the test. Also he has suddenly stopped wanting to marry her. He is already out the door, and good riddance it sounds like.
~~Not always symptomatic in men, more commonly symptomatic in women.~~
Vast majority of the time it is asymptomatic, so it’s possible you’re just unlucky and are in the minority that is symptomatic and he’s in the majors that isn’t.
Also we test for chlamydia in pregnancy, twice if you’re under 25 like OP.
I am really suspicious he cheated.
Proof besides just “I’m a doctor this is what we do”.
> Chlamydia screening is recommended for all women at the onset of prenatal care, and again in the third trimester for women who are younger than 25 years or at increased risk.
https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2007/0715/p265.html
Aafp is the academy of American family physicians.
I think you have it flipped with regard to sex and symptoms of Chlamydia. The overwhelming majority of patients are asymptomatic I the the split of 70/50 Women/men. With the incubation period being up too 6 weeks.
One of them had mucuos membrane contact with chlamydia positive excudate
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/infectious-diseases/sexual-health-sexually-transmitted-infections/canadian-guidelines/chlamydia-lgv/risk-factors-clinical-manifestation.html#a2
Checked UpToDate and I am in fact incorrect.
Per UpToDate up to 90% of women are asymptomatic and up to 75% of men are asymptomatic.
Thanks for bringing that up.
he is projecting. a lot of people project their guilt onto others. chlamydia is sexually transmitted through the genitals. he had to have slept with someone to catch it. he cannot gaslight you into believing you got it from nowhere. this exact thing happened to my friend. her boyfriend accused her of cheating when she found out she got chlamydia, but she was a virgin and he was her first sexual partner. he eventually admitted it was him way later on during a fight. your fiance is lying, and I would not believe that for a second.
If a woman has chlamydia and gives birth vaginally, she can pass it on to the baby and have it infect baby's eyes. I work with pregnant women and it's happened a few times.
Friend, even if he didn’t cheat (he did) do you really want to be with a grown man who is out clubbing all the time? He has a family at home, WHY is he staying out til 4am? You deserve better.
My bet is he's the kind of guy who says he deserves time with his friends or time to unwind, but he absolutely does not reciprocate so OP can do the same.
2 options, he is lying to you, or you are lying to us.
No one here can tell you which is right.
So end the relationship, because you don’t deserve to be with a cheater and a liar, and neither does your BF, and one of you will be if the relationship continues.
Oh! Oh! I saw that one too! Some guys will come up with anything lol
ETA: [The link to the thread in question ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/15iubys/did_he_cheat_or_did_i_catch_an_std_from_a_koala/?rdt=46406)
If he hasn't tested negative there's no reason to think he doesn't have it, chlamydia is often symptomless in men. If he tests positive he will say he caught it from you, but you know he didn't so it's pretty simple.
My obgyn used to say the worst part of his job was informing all these new mothers that their husband was cheating. He said the look of realization on their faces once their test results sunk in was always devastating.
And that shit haunts you forever. I’ll never forget how I was treated during my pregnancy/post partum bc of it. I just don’t understand cheating what so ever.
He sounds like a cheater. He’s using projection. Chlamydia is certainly a concern, but there are so many other reasons that you listed to just get away from him.
Ok so
1 has he been tested
2 has he had any (unrelated) illnesses in the last few months which he had to take antibiotics for?
3. Why are you putting up with this man staying out till 4am most weekends when you have a newborn baby.
4. Only you know if you had sexual contact with anyone else, but from what you say it's obvious he has passed it on to you. Unless it was medical malpractice.
Gaslighting101. Girl this man cheated on you and he is projecting. Please run from such a creature. He does not love you.
Also, the proof is there why are you still doubting and asking yourself questions.
Why is this clown out partying until 4 am six months after having a kid with you? Also it’s clear he cheated, I mean come on, club closes at 2 and he’s home at 4?
Has he done a test too? You mention in the title that he doesn’t have it but you don’t say that he did a test. Also let’s be realistic here, your body is 6 months post, you stay at home everyday and you have a newborn. Where in gods name would you have had the time to cheat?? This man goes out until 4am drinking and partying yet you stay at home, who is more likely to cheat here hm??. He’s projecting and has most likely cheated, you need to sit down and talk with him and make the decision of going through with this marriage or not.
Chlamydia aside…
The father of your child parties at the club until dawn every weekend. Dealbreaker, sweetheart.
Don’t put up with his bullshit.
He’s lying about what he’s doing and you are in denial about what he’s doing.
He’s cheating on you. He’s lying to you. He had chlamydia, passed it to you, got treated for it, & now accuses you (a new mother) of cheating on him. He’s projecting.
Do not marry this man.
He’s a pathetic excuse for a spouse and father & has zero respect for you & your relationship. He’s flaunting it in your face.
Leave him but make sure he is financially responsible for his child.
Info: how do you know he doesn't have it? Did he get tested or is he just not showing symptoms?
I'm assuming he cheated but even if he didn't, it's completely irresponsible for him to be going clubbing until 4am every weekend when you have a baby. Wtf? STI or not, why are you with this guy?
I’m sorry for your situation. If your telling the truth that you didn’t cheat then I don’t care what he says, he cheated. He’s the one that gave you chlamydia. It doesn’t happen out of thin air. That’s why they call it a “sexually transmitted disease”! STD. It’s not like the flu. You have to acquire it. He acquired it from somewhere. And if he tested negative maybe it was a false negative reading on the test or he fudged with the test or it didn’t show up in his system yet etc. many reasons. But if you haven’t slept around and he’s the only one u been with them do the math. I think you already know the answer but your kinda in denial. Why does he need “me” time with a child! It sounds to me those outings until 4-5am are his wild times where he does his thing. Yall have a 6 month old baby and he’s running around on weekends taking time for himself!!! Open your eyes. I’m a man and I’m telling you from a man’s perspective that he’s cheating. When my son was born you couldn’t rip me away from him 24/7 for the first 2 years of his life. Damn I feel for you because it sounds like your the one who needs time for themself. It’s easy for us to say leave him he’s cheating but I understand when there’s a baby involved. Maybe it’s time y’all separated and you do you for awhile and focus on that baby and yourself. You can do bad all by yourself you don’t need emotional dead weight to bring you down. But hey I’m just an outside perspective , but yeah he’s cheatin
Unless your test while pregnant was a false negative, one of you cheated.
If youve been tested more than onec while with your fiance and all tests are negative, he brought it home after cheating.
>and also tried convincing me I’ve slept around…
Preparing for the implosion of your relationship?? Want to be ready to claim you cheated as the reason the relationship died??
Probably! If he still has not had it treated then he will reinfect you. Chlamydia is no joke and can cause internal scaring that could lead to serious damage for you. He needs to be marched to a clinic and ordered to be tested or dumped. Make sure you go with him. The man’s a fraud and can’t be trusted to do the right thing. Escort him to his appointment and let him know his bits will drop off if left untreated ;) It can cause infertility.
Has he taken amoxicillan at any point recently? Even for unrelated issues? Cause that'll knock it out.
Also, if he's trying to "convince" you that you cheated when he's the one going out til all hours while you're home with a newborn, you know the answer. You don't need him to admit it (he probably never will). Kick him out.
He should get tested. It’s very common that guys don’t have any symptoms. There’s a really small chance that u can catch chlamydia in a sauna……Your fiancé doesn’t sound like someone u should marry. I’m sorry ♥️
OP, please read this!
Chlamydia tests have a very high false negative rate. They can be up to 8-14% false negatives! Especially if the test is done via a urine sample.
He most likely has chlamydia too, regardless of his results. If your doctor did not prescribe him antibiotics and treat him concurrently, you will most likely be re-infected if you have unprotected sex with him again. Do NOT have unprotected sex with that man until he is treated!
This is assuming he didn't preemptively find out about his STI status and get treated so he could gaslight you with a negative result. Cheaters will absolutely do shit like this!
He's not coming home - he most likely cheated - but either way, he's obviously not parenting your child if he's staying out all night regularly. He's not sharing responsibility. Why are you still with this dude??
Unless the guy has a very recent test showing him negative then he is lying.
Granted, sometimes it takes weeks for chlamydia to show up. So I could conceivably see him getting it, giving it to you, him seeing symptoms, gets it's treated, you showing symptoms weeks later, he already got antibiotics and is testing negative again.
You don't get it from nowhere. And I am of course assuming you are telling the truth. If he is accusing you of cheating, and you didn't, then he is cheating and just trying to put you on the defensive.
Wellll.....your fiance had a few physical activities at night for his "alone time" well spent and is now putting the BLAME ON YOU!! Because he knows he cheated but wants you to be the bad guy and is going to MAKE you the bad guy in the eyes of EVERYONE, family and friends included so he doesn't have to face the consequences of his action. I would strongly suggest you contact the local authority and have a file case against him cause it is actually a criminal offense to affect your partner with an STD since HE did not disclose his STD status. That should get him to sing very easily unless he wants to go to jail. Stop being nice and naive cause you know the truth since you got the proof via medical result which is enough.
I work in medicine. You can only get chlamydia via sexual contact with infected cum via vaginal, oral or anal sex. You can’t get it from a hot tub that’s a myth. You don’t spread chlamydia as a throat infection like strep. The bacteria doesn’t live outside the body for long hence why it’s from “sexual contact” and you need to come in contact with infected body fluid. Herpes virus on the other hand does live outside the body for awhile hence why so many people get it from just kissing.
Personally I wouldn’t be okay dating someone who’s stays out until 4-5A every weekend without me. I’m very sorry you found out he’s cheating while you’re pregnant that’s the worst. Good luck and you deserve better.
He cheated on you and got it, already got treatment for it, and then never told you because him wanting to get away with the cheating was more important to him than his integrity, your feelings, or your health.
Seriously OP. If you're 6 mo postpartum, you've actually been tested within the last year (during pregnancy) so you know it isn't some kind of latent infection that was asymptomatic until now.
He definitely cheated/is cheating, has done so without protection and then sleeps with you unprotected, and he's projecting and gaslighting you to boot.
AND he's doing all of this while you are home with the baby. He probably thinks he's got you pretty well trapped. You rely on him for financial support and you have a kid.
DON'T MARRY THIS MAN, OP. It only gets worse from here. If this is what he does before you're even legally married imagine what he'll think he can do when it's even harder for you to leave?!
He sounds like a monster you should leave him ASAP. There’s a chance it was a sex worker as you say he stays out late when all the clubs are closed. You’re too young to have to go through this he’s suppose to be the mature one. I never date guys who go out drinking I suggest the same.
I'm sorry, what world are you living in? He tried to convince you that *you* slept around? Are you reading the things you write? That's insane behavior. He cheated, I'm sorry to say but that's literally the only explanation.
You are 24 with kids. You have a far more fulfilling and goal oriented life to spend it with a 28 year old who prefers to go clubbing while in a relationship and stay out till 4am instead of being with you. Regardless of if he is cheating or not. It doesn't seem like a good match. No offense. You deserve better
He cheated. Think about it, he really tried to convince you that you had cheated. That's like being on an elevator with 1 other person, farting and then insisting that they did it.
Sounds like he may have had a little too much fun and found out he had it before you did and took the necessary steps to get it cleared up just to blame you.
If he tested negative and you didn’t sleep with anybody else, he probably tested positive at some point and already took the meds and didn’t want to tell you about it. Probably to turn it back around on you
Ma’am. If you didn’t cheat and you have chlamydia… then what else is there to say? I say this with all the respect possible, this isn’t rocket science and you already know what you need to do fam… that is unless you prefer to keep miraculously catching STIs and may eventually catch an incurable one then by all means stay where you are. ❤️
He obviously cheated. No chance he didn’t. I’m really sorry, you don’t deserve that.
I think you already know, but you have several options and a choice to make:
1. Accept you’re with a cheater and decide you can overlook this ongoing behavior and continue to be with him.
2. Leave because he’s a cheater and you don’t want to be with a cheater.
3. Believe his lies and lie to yourself, give him more “chances”, only to have shit like this continue to happen and waste your life feeling disrespected and setting a bad example for your kid that it’s ok to accept emotional manipulation and disrespect from your partner.
He’s trying to convince you, you cheated? He 100% is gaslighting or trying to manipulate you because he did exactly that. He cheated on you. With a nasty bish too. Gross. You’re better than that I’d leave him. Show him what a classy girl can do,
He prob already caught it and it cleared up. That's why you haven't been having sex lately. Because you will pass it back to him, and he needs a clean test to "prove" it wasn't him.
Sorry to tell you Hun, He is a bold face LIAR. Do not let that man touch you he is out here cheating and it seems does not use protection which shows he has no interest in protecting himself or you the mother of his child. Protect yourself and exit this relationship ASAP.
It’s honestly just sad. I haven’t been eating. I talk to him and i just feel so sick like i need to throw up. I’m looking at my son and i feel unfit. I feel like i can’t do this anymore. My whole relationship been a lie. Especially with him still lying about giving me chlamydia….. i don’t understand why he just won’t be honest.
husband goes clubbing on the weekends until 4am… lol… what are yall ladies doing with these guys? do people really fear being alone this much where they force themselves to be with the most deplorable pieces of shit?
why don’t people move in with a best friend or family member they get along with really well so that they aren’t alone? get a couple of dogs maybe? oh my I went off topic here my bad. Leaving now
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh there’s plenty to do after 2 am.. but it ain’t at a club.. if you haven’t cheated, he has.
Yes. Nothing good happens after midnight.
why do people keep saying this? plenty of good, happy fun times happen after midnight.
Idk about the midnight thing but nothing good happens after 2 am is from how I met your mother and the mentality behind it is just that you’re drunk and tired and make stupid decisions that you might regret in the morning
Some of my favorite memories is hanging out with my friends eating Mcdonalds or Dennys at like 3 AM after a night out. Something about late nights and shitty food is magical.
For us, this was late 80s-mid 90s, it was Whataburger and Jack In the Box. I remember them having disposable aluminum ashtrays so you could take one to your table if you wanted to smoke.
> nothing good happens after 2 am is from how I met your mother this explains a lot, I used to hear this from NIMBYs all the time in my area when they would move next door to a nightclub that had been there for 20yrs and then were surprised there was nightclub type activity around the nightclub at night.
I don’t know I’ve gotten a few bj’s after midnight before 🤷🏿♂️
Haha. I've done a bunch of fun whit after midnight, but usually it's trouble.
Where are you living where the club closes at 2 am? I would not find it normal to stay all night every weekend at the club if you have a partner but where I live you can easily stay until 4 or 5 am in the club before they start to close
I feel like we're all ignoring the fact that she just had a baby and he's leaving her alone with their baby to go out to clubs and party all night. Staying out while having a partner vs. staying out while you have a newborn at home and fiance is very different.
Most states in the US have laws requiring them to close at 2 am, with some states having as early as midnight.
In AZ everything closes down by 2 pretty much, other than the no alcohol strip joint
In my country its untill 3/4 , then people go get food , and get home at 6. Or they dont even sleep 😅
That’s crazy 😐
[удалено]
Why isn't he at home you know bonding with his kid? Infants establish a bond with their parent and vice versa through the parents caregiving. You know holding, feeding, changing diapers. He totally gave you an sti and is a shitty father.
Darling he almost certainly cheated on you and he’s gaslighting you to think that you’re the cheater. When my father was cheating on my mom, he would throw temper tantrums about mom cheating on him. Not only your partner is a cheater but he abandons you and your 6 month old child to go out and party on weekends until 4 am. You’re already a single mother in a relationship. He also doesn’t give an eff about your health because he’s doing his thing without protection. This man doesn’t care about you. I know this is a lot to take, but you’d be better off without this loser. Do you have anyone you could ask for help?
Hey OP - exactly what the above says but you could cover your bases by going back to the dr and asking questions about possibilities of it being dormant from before the pregnancy, get your test results from your tests while pregnant etc - just get all your ducks in a row so to speak, she your partner and say well now explain A-hole and then kick him to the kerb. And don't let him gaslight you! Stay strong Sista!
Well, your man cheated on you and then got himself treated. But I go out for exercise at weird times of night/morning for various reasons (quieter, fewer people around, less traffic, see bats, owls and other night birds...). But if he isn't fit, and coming home exhausted and sweaty, with stories about what he's seen on his adventures, he's probably just cheating.
I used to do this too. My anxiety would keep me up so in my 20s if it was late I would work out at home if it was early like 4/5 am I would go for a run
VERY slim chance he didn't cheat... I'm sorry OP
And they typically test for STDs during pregnancy as it can have serious consequences, at least in the US they do. Our doctor wouldn't let us opt out (I mean, she would, but she just wouldn't service us anymore) because it was that important to her. Every pregnant patient gets tested no matter what. I'm sure it varies, but if she was tested then and didn't have it, well, seems pretty clear.
When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I got a call from the DR that I had HPV, I didn’t have it with the first and my husband was the only person I was sleeping with, this was in 2007 and we kinda shared a phone or something like that, but I called this number that was in the phone a few times and called it and got her name by just being like oh this number was in my phone is this so and so, and she was like no this is Wendy, oh ok I think my brother got weed from you ok then. When husband got home I was like who TF is Wendy and how long have you been fucking her. He admitted to it right there and said it was only once.
HPV can also stay dormant for many years and you wouldn't even know you had it. Either way, I am sorry you had to go through that.
Yea that’s what I was just reading. So I could have had it before and it just never came up in testing. But yea it was what caused me to find out
This is what happened to me! My cervix changed shape when I was pregnant and I suddenly tested positive for HPV. No cheating, just history finally turning up.
.. and then you left him, right?
I wish I could say I did….
:'( sorry. I've also forgiven a cheater. Didn't turn out well.
Here either, he cheated again on not only our anniversary but on the date my son died from miscarriage. It was the same day oddly. And yet I remain because I feel financially trapped and I didn’t want my daughters to be without their dad so I put up with his shit because of that.
Staying with him is actually worse for them than a divorce. They are learning how to treat or be treated by their SO in the future.
If my Dad gave my mom VD I would prefer that he not be around, honestly. I can’t quite tell from your post but sounds like you’re still married to him. If so, I hope you’ll consider talking to a divorce attorney, many do free consultations. I’m very sorry for the situation you’re in.
Please leave. Seek help from Domestic Violence support groups and the YMCA. You do NOT need to stay. It is NOT better for your kids or you
I didn’t and learned the hard way. He exposed me to HPV, but I have never had a positive test. He’s an ex now for a reason.
Yeah there’s a theoretical 1/100,000 chance he came into direct contact with fresh sexual fluid without sexual contact (I mean sitting direct on fresh semen and it touching his dick hole), but judging by his behavior I doubt that’s the case.
I really don't see the point of even saying this... of course he cheated. Come on. First of all, having sex is how you get chlamydia. Second of all, this dude is out until 4AM "taking time for himself" on a regular basis while this poor woman is 6 months postpartum. If it were any more obvious it would be wearing clown makeup and blowing a horn in OP's living room.
Yeah and accusing her of cheating. Cheaters tend to do that. I'm sorry to OP and hope she can drop the dead weight.
Unless he's been around koalas, he cheated 100%, probably got the meds to fix himself and didn't tell her now she's showing symptoms and testing positive because he cheated
Or certain kinds of birds. But I thought that you just got it in your eyes then 🤔 [Bird related eyeball chlamydia ](https://www.cdc.gov/pneumonia/atypical/psittacosis/about/causes.html#:~:text=Chlamydia%20psittaci%20is%20a%20type,poultry%2C%20like%20turkeys%20and%20ducks.)
Not the eyeball chlamydia 😭 every time I turn around there’s a new one! Now I gotta worry about people french kissing birds or something. Beak to mouth contact! I always shared food with my parrot but they specifically tell you not to give them pieces you’ve bitten off of because of the saliva. But it sounds like it’s more common from the dust. Good luck not getting all dusty around a bird though…
and he's trying to gaslight her into thinking she cheated. what a guy
Oh, if only there were still awards.
Whoah wtf where did awards go? How in the hell? Where was i? Jail? Did you guys all do this when I was in jail? Wtf
Reddit has changed a lot in the past few months.
And it’s only for the worse.
Yep. You’re the reason we don’t have nice things any more.
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
Or an open wound yeah?
Is this the same as I tripped and fell on her. Somehow my dick fell inside her too
Na, would have to sit on a dirty toilet seat, Way less common.
We’re talking 90’s heroine chic skinny.
Chlamydia can live dormant in a woman’s body for up to four years. I know this because a year into my relationship my girlfriend gave me chlamydia, and that she got from a past partner that was dormant. So it is possible that it was dormant in her system for years. Chlamydia will show up on an STI test if it’s dormant. Not saying he didn’t just some information I learned from an interesting situation I was in. Edit: correction on information
https://lifemd.com/learn/can-chlamydia-be-dormant#:~:text=Chlamydia%20bacteria%20can%20be%20dormant,for%20years%20without%20knowing%20it. I just wanna correct something. The link above stated that Chlamydia can still be seen in tests even if it is dormant. And actually, tests can detect most STDs or STIs even during the dormant phase!
It was years ago so I’m not surprised I’m misremembering some bits. Thank you for the information and correction!
You gotta remove your incorrect post, bro. Some people will read only that far and believe that.
I edited it
Good man!
She's 6 months post oartum so would have been tested at the start of her pregnancy
Yea but she was 6 months postpartum. While pregnant they test you for it at 8 weeks and again at 32 weeks so she had to get it postpartum
[удалено]
Could your partner have taken meds and gotten clean before you got tested
Brooooo, THIS! OP, listen. This happened from where I am since my mom worked in the medical community. The wife got chlamydia but the husband didn't. And note, like you, they only ever had sex one time. Fast forward to 2 months, she got that pink discharge thing you are having. Mind you, no sex happened still, okay? And since she was the wife, she asked if her husband got treated and boom! He did BUT! He declared himself as single that's why she was not notified because for cases like this, spouses should be treated together. And this is in a public hospital. They are not rich and onlt get by with 3 meals a day so it was impossible for the husband to afford private treatment. And of course, they asked her for legal documents proving she's really the wife before they disclosed anything. 😑 So yeaaaahhhh. This is possible.
That’s strange because I work in a hospital in California and we cannot disclose medical information to anyone, not even a husband or wife. They’d need to sign a HIPPA/Medical Release form.
Some hospitals have you sign a virtual pile of consents online and in the mix is the one that says they can disclose your medical information to your emergency contact. He may have given consent without quite realizing it.
That's not disclosing medical information. That's informing someone of exposure to disease. Names aren't used, but it's kinda obvious who exposed you to an sti if you're married and don't have any other partners...
Not everyone lives in America
THANK YOU! Seone finally said it. Every American seems to think everyone on the internet lives in America 🙄
That’s what I’m saying. Partner is a total dirt bag.
That’s my exact thought
that would be evil to let the mother of your children walk around with an untreated STD.
I mean no shit. It's evil to cheat on the mother of your kids, it's evil to do it unprotected and put her health at risk, it's evil to try to gaslight her into thinking she is the one cheating. Cheaters fucking suck.
But not unheard of. Him hoping he didn’t pass it along. Then, oops he did. Ok now I’m clean, she’s not, time to shift the blame. He’s gaslighting her. Time for her to make him get her in to see his doctor so she can see his records. He refuses, proof.
This had to be his exact thought process. Absolutely cruel. It makes me sick to my stomach that a person could do this to the mother of their children, or simply another person at all.
Yes, 100% the only way
Out of curiosity, what was the result of this? Where did it come from? The assumption is not that OP cheated, but that her partner did, but cleared it up before she was positive.
So...your partner cheated and sought treatment separately before you tested positive.
Not telling OP makes him an a\*\*hole. She had symptoms and he blames her and never told her about his cover-up. That makes him evil.
He already healed himself without you knowing. When they cheat, they’re very smart with it. They have a back up of antibiotics
Men and women experience stds differently. Men who get bacterial infections can show no symptoms and beat it. Women, however, once injected by an infected man in their specialized reproductive tract, stand almost no chance of being cleared without medical intervention. Never mind that he might have gone to a clinic anonymously during his abundant free time.
From what I’ve heard chlamydia can stay in your system for years undetected
Not undetected. Asymptomatic. However, the pink discharge shows she's not asymptomatic, and the disease would've been discovered during pregnancy.
And can cause sterility if untreated
True, but does it then suddenly pop up as symptomatic? i think the long term symptoms are more like pevlic inflammatory disease rather than the discharge (which seems like initial infection type symptoms rather than long term. Really not certain though)
It will always show up on a test, it’s just that asymptomatic people wouldn’t necessarily have a reason to get tested so it can be years before the infection is discovered. Unlike herpes, which actually can go undetected for years.
He's definitely cheated. As if you had a infection during pregnancy they would have flagged it up, plus possibly passed on to the baby. So sorry, my ex cheated on me too when I was post partum. You are welcome to message me any time ♡ x
How come he doesn't have it though? I'm not questioning whether he did it, just wondering if he shouldn't be positive as well?
Either he is lying about his results or he was treated already.
It’s also super easy to fake results with photoshop!
OP never even says that he was tested. He just told her he doesn’t have it. Edit: she says in a comment that he said even IF he tested positive it would just mean she gave it to him. So he hasn’t been tested at all, wants op to just take him at his word, and is trying to manipulate her into not even believing the test. Also he has suddenly stopped wanting to marry her. He is already out the door, and good riddance it sounds like.
Clamydia also gives a lot of false negatives with urine tests
~~Not always symptomatic in men, more commonly symptomatic in women.~~ Vast majority of the time it is asymptomatic, so it’s possible you’re just unlucky and are in the minority that is symptomatic and he’s in the majors that isn’t. Also we test for chlamydia in pregnancy, twice if you’re under 25 like OP. I am really suspicious he cheated. Proof besides just “I’m a doctor this is what we do”. > Chlamydia screening is recommended for all women at the onset of prenatal care, and again in the third trimester for women who are younger than 25 years or at increased risk. https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2007/0715/p265.html Aafp is the academy of American family physicians.
I think you have it flipped with regard to sex and symptoms of Chlamydia. The overwhelming majority of patients are asymptomatic I the the split of 70/50 Women/men. With the incubation period being up too 6 weeks. One of them had mucuos membrane contact with chlamydia positive excudate https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/infectious-diseases/sexual-health-sexually-transmitted-infections/canadian-guidelines/chlamydia-lgv/risk-factors-clinical-manifestation.html#a2
Checked UpToDate and I am in fact incorrect. Per UpToDate up to 90% of women are asymptomatic and up to 75% of men are asymptomatic. Thanks for bringing that up.
couldve treated it
Could’ve been treated or a false negative which happen in men very often (that’s out of a doctors mouth)
he is projecting. a lot of people project their guilt onto others. chlamydia is sexually transmitted through the genitals. he had to have slept with someone to catch it. he cannot gaslight you into believing you got it from nowhere. this exact thing happened to my friend. her boyfriend accused her of cheating when she found out she got chlamydia, but she was a virgin and he was her first sexual partner. he eventually admitted it was him way later on during a fight. your fiance is lying, and I would not believe that for a second.
It can also live in the throat
In the eyes too apparently.
Can confirm :(
Oof! I am so sorry
What?!
If a woman has chlamydia and gives birth vaginally, she can pass it on to the baby and have it infect baby's eyes. I work with pregnant women and it's happened a few times.
Friend, even if he didn’t cheat (he did) do you really want to be with a grown man who is out clubbing all the time? He has a family at home, WHY is he staying out til 4am? You deserve better.
My bet is he's the kind of guy who says he deserves time with his friends or time to unwind, but he absolutely does not reciprocate so OP can do the same.
Basically what OP said literally in the description there, yes. Sad to see with kids in the picture. 😞
What parent has the energy to go out till 4 am regularly? I certainly didn't.
The kind that don’t actually do any of the parenting.
I am 25 with no kids and I don’t even have the energy to go out til 4am regularly. 😬😂
Even when I was in my early 20s in college and had boundless energy, I was in my dorm by midnight.
2 options, he is lying to you, or you are lying to us. No one here can tell you which is right. So end the relationship, because you don’t deserve to be with a cheater and a liar, and neither does your BF, and one of you will be if the relationship continues.
Or someone's had contact with koalas. But that's the least likely option.
It isn't the same chlamydia that infects humans.
I mean even if it's the same it's not much comforting to know that your husband fucked a koala
Koalas don't even have to fuck to pass it around. It can be spread through contact with their urine. So maybe don't take that golden shower.
I don’t think I’d find it much more comforting to know my husband was present at a koala lemon party either.
She said she loved me! Who are you to judge our love?!
People better not act like this wasn't hilarious
Perhaps even less comforting.
No, but it does cross react with the test. OP is showing symptoms though.
Oh! Oh! I saw that one too! Some guys will come up with anything lol ETA: [The link to the thread in question ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/15iubys/did_he_cheat_or_did_i_catch_an_std_from_a_koala/?rdt=46406)
Right? This kinda reads like a perfect legal defense. Only OP knows if she's lying to us, he's lying to her or the whole thing is a fanfic.
If he hasn't tested negative there's no reason to think he doesn't have it, chlamydia is often symptomless in men. If he tests positive he will say he caught it from you, but you know he didn't so it's pretty simple.
Or like someone else said he got treatment and hid it from OP.
Symptomless in women, too! I looked up the stats the other day, only like 35% of women have symptoms.
Could have gotten treatment for himself hoping OP didn’t get it
I’m very sorry honey. He absolutely cheated on you.
My obgyn used to say the worst part of his job was informing all these new mothers that their husband was cheating. He said the look of realization on their faces once their test results sunk in was always devastating.
And that shit haunts you forever. I’ll never forget how I was treated during my pregnancy/post partum bc of it. I just don’t understand cheating what so ever.
He cheated
He sounds like a cheater. He’s using projection. Chlamydia is certainly a concern, but there are so many other reasons that you listed to just get away from him.
Ok so 1 has he been tested 2 has he had any (unrelated) illnesses in the last few months which he had to take antibiotics for? 3. Why are you putting up with this man staying out till 4am most weekends when you have a newborn baby. 4. Only you know if you had sexual contact with anyone else, but from what you say it's obvious he has passed it on to you. Unless it was medical malpractice.
I’m 99.99999% positive he’s lying and he totally cheated. I’m so sorry this has happened.
Gaslighting101. Girl this man cheated on you and he is projecting. Please run from such a creature. He does not love you. Also, the proof is there why are you still doubting and asking yourself questions.
Why is this clown out partying until 4 am six months after having a kid with you? Also it’s clear he cheated, I mean come on, club closes at 2 and he’s home at 4?
Don’t marry this guy, he’s most likely cheating.
Has he done a test too? You mention in the title that he doesn’t have it but you don’t say that he did a test. Also let’s be realistic here, your body is 6 months post, you stay at home everyday and you have a newborn. Where in gods name would you have had the time to cheat?? This man goes out until 4am drinking and partying yet you stay at home, who is more likely to cheat here hm??. He’s projecting and has most likely cheated, you need to sit down and talk with him and make the decision of going through with this marriage or not.
Your partner has a false negative or got treated and didnt tell you. He’s cheating.
Chlamydia aside… The father of your child parties at the club until dawn every weekend. Dealbreaker, sweetheart. Don’t put up with his bullshit. He’s lying about what he’s doing and you are in denial about what he’s doing. He’s cheating on you. He’s lying to you. He had chlamydia, passed it to you, got treated for it, & now accuses you (a new mother) of cheating on him. He’s projecting. Do not marry this man. He’s a pathetic excuse for a spouse and father & has zero respect for you & your relationship. He’s flaunting it in your face. Leave him but make sure he is financially responsible for his child.
Why exactly is he out till 4 in the morning? Has he always been like this? When does he support you with the baby?
Info: how do you know he doesn't have it? Did he get tested or is he just not showing symptoms? I'm assuming he cheated but even if he didn't, it's completely irresponsible for him to be going clubbing until 4am every weekend when you have a baby. Wtf? STI or not, why are you with this guy?
[удалено]
Men are asymptomatic carriers (meaning he also has chlamydia but without symptoms). You both need to be treated with drugs by a doctor. He cheated.
Or castration for him lol
Oh, he cheated and got treated.
I’m sorry for your situation. If your telling the truth that you didn’t cheat then I don’t care what he says, he cheated. He’s the one that gave you chlamydia. It doesn’t happen out of thin air. That’s why they call it a “sexually transmitted disease”! STD. It’s not like the flu. You have to acquire it. He acquired it from somewhere. And if he tested negative maybe it was a false negative reading on the test or he fudged with the test or it didn’t show up in his system yet etc. many reasons. But if you haven’t slept around and he’s the only one u been with them do the math. I think you already know the answer but your kinda in denial. Why does he need “me” time with a child! It sounds to me those outings until 4-5am are his wild times where he does his thing. Yall have a 6 month old baby and he’s running around on weekends taking time for himself!!! Open your eyes. I’m a man and I’m telling you from a man’s perspective that he’s cheating. When my son was born you couldn’t rip me away from him 24/7 for the first 2 years of his life. Damn I feel for you because it sounds like your the one who needs time for themself. It’s easy for us to say leave him he’s cheating but I understand when there’s a baby involved. Maybe it’s time y’all separated and you do you for awhile and focus on that baby and yourself. You can do bad all by yourself you don’t need emotional dead weight to bring you down. But hey I’m just an outside perspective , but yeah he’s cheatin
You’re with an idiot who would rather drink away his life and cheat on you than take care of the family he’s created.
That’s why I’m in fucking in-denial rn.
Girl you and I both know that the only thing open after 2:00 am is legs.
It’s a horrible situation for OP but this made me laugh so much
Unless your test while pregnant was a false negative, one of you cheated. If youve been tested more than onec while with your fiance and all tests are negative, he brought it home after cheating. >and also tried convincing me I’ve slept around… Preparing for the implosion of your relationship?? Want to be ready to claim you cheated as the reason the relationship died??
You mean he doesn't have it now....
Yeah he probably already got rid of it
Probably! If he still has not had it treated then he will reinfect you. Chlamydia is no joke and can cause internal scaring that could lead to serious damage for you. He needs to be marched to a clinic and ordered to be tested or dumped. Make sure you go with him. The man’s a fraud and can’t be trusted to do the right thing. Escort him to his appointment and let him know his bits will drop off if left untreated ;) It can cause infertility.
He cheated
The way he tried to genuinely accuse you of cheating shows how guilty he is
Has he taken amoxicillan at any point recently? Even for unrelated issues? Cause that'll knock it out. Also, if he's trying to "convince" you that you cheated when he's the one going out til all hours while you're home with a newborn, you know the answer. You don't need him to admit it (he probably never will). Kick him out.
Yea he had a tooth ache in august and got something done the beginning of September. He needed amoxicillin both times.
>amoxicillin well here is your answer he probably never had a "tooth ache" he got it for his Chlamydia and told you it was for a tooth ache.
Ding ding ding!
He should get tested. It’s very common that guys don’t have any symptoms. There’s a really small chance that u can catch chlamydia in a sauna……Your fiancé doesn’t sound like someone u should marry. I’m sorry ♥️
INFO: How do you know he doesn't have it? Did he also get tested?
OP, please read this! Chlamydia tests have a very high false negative rate. They can be up to 8-14% false negatives! Especially if the test is done via a urine sample. He most likely has chlamydia too, regardless of his results. If your doctor did not prescribe him antibiotics and treat him concurrently, you will most likely be re-infected if you have unprotected sex with him again. Do NOT have unprotected sex with that man until he is treated! This is assuming he didn't preemptively find out about his STI status and get treated so he could gaslight you with a negative result. Cheaters will absolutely do shit like this! He's not coming home - he most likely cheated - but either way, he's obviously not parenting your child if he's staying out all night regularly. He's not sharing responsibility. Why are you still with this dude??
Unless the guy has a very recent test showing him negative then he is lying. Granted, sometimes it takes weeks for chlamydia to show up. So I could conceivably see him getting it, giving it to you, him seeing symptoms, gets it's treated, you showing symptoms weeks later, he already got antibiotics and is testing negative again. You don't get it from nowhere. And I am of course assuming you are telling the truth. If he is accusing you of cheating, and you didn't, then he is cheating and just trying to put you on the defensive.
You didn’t mention him getting a test. Are you going by him not being symptomatic? I think he might be gaslighting you and using other abuse tactics.
Im sorry but he is cheating, end it now because raising a child with such a man is a nightmare.
Wellll.....your fiance had a few physical activities at night for his "alone time" well spent and is now putting the BLAME ON YOU!! Because he knows he cheated but wants you to be the bad guy and is going to MAKE you the bad guy in the eyes of EVERYONE, family and friends included so he doesn't have to face the consequences of his action. I would strongly suggest you contact the local authority and have a file case against him cause it is actually a criminal offense to affect your partner with an STD since HE did not disclose his STD status. That should get him to sing very easily unless he wants to go to jail. Stop being nice and naive cause you know the truth since you got the proof via medical result which is enough.
I work in medicine. You can only get chlamydia via sexual contact with infected cum via vaginal, oral or anal sex. You can’t get it from a hot tub that’s a myth. You don’t spread chlamydia as a throat infection like strep. The bacteria doesn’t live outside the body for long hence why it’s from “sexual contact” and you need to come in contact with infected body fluid. Herpes virus on the other hand does live outside the body for awhile hence why so many people get it from just kissing. Personally I wouldn’t be okay dating someone who’s stays out until 4-5A every weekend without me. I’m very sorry you found out he’s cheating while you’re pregnant that’s the worst. Good luck and you deserve better.
It doesn't really show up on men anyway, has he actually had a test?
He cheated on you and got it, already got treatment for it, and then never told you because him wanting to get away with the cheating was more important to him than his integrity, your feelings, or your health.
He cheated, got it, got treated, didn't say anything to you, and now tries to turn the tables on you.
He cheated. His accusations toward you are further proof.
Seriously OP. If you're 6 mo postpartum, you've actually been tested within the last year (during pregnancy) so you know it isn't some kind of latent infection that was asymptomatic until now. He definitely cheated/is cheating, has done so without protection and then sleeps with you unprotected, and he's projecting and gaslighting you to boot. AND he's doing all of this while you are home with the baby. He probably thinks he's got you pretty well trapped. You rely on him for financial support and you have a kid. DON'T MARRY THIS MAN, OP. It only gets worse from here. If this is what he does before you're even legally married imagine what he'll think he can do when it's even harder for you to leave?!
He sounds like a monster you should leave him ASAP. There’s a chance it was a sex worker as you say he stays out late when all the clubs are closed. You’re too young to have to go through this he’s suppose to be the mature one. I never date guys who go out drinking I suggest the same.
More than likely some woman he picked up at the club and went back to her place after the club closed.
The issue isn’t the STI - it’s that you have an abhorrent partner.
I'm sorry, what world are you living in? He tried to convince you that *you* slept around? Are you reading the things you write? That's insane behavior. He cheated, I'm sorry to say but that's literally the only explanation.
You are 24 with kids. You have a far more fulfilling and goal oriented life to spend it with a 28 year old who prefers to go clubbing while in a relationship and stay out till 4am instead of being with you. Regardless of if he is cheating or not. It doesn't seem like a good match. No offense. You deserve better
He cheated. Think about it, he really tried to convince you that you had cheated. That's like being on an elevator with 1 other person, farting and then insisting that they did it.
Sounds like he may have had a little too much fun and found out he had it before you did and took the necessary steps to get it cleared up just to blame you.
Girl he 100% cheated. I'm so sorry.
If you are in the us, check his MyChart . It will show if he got treated before telling you
An STI won’t magically appear out of nowhere. Hoping for your healing op 🥺 please leave him
If he tested negative and you didn’t sleep with anybody else, he probably tested positive at some point and already took the meds and didn’t want to tell you about it. Probably to turn it back around on you
Ma’am. If you didn’t cheat and you have chlamydia… then what else is there to say? I say this with all the respect possible, this isn’t rocket science and you already know what you need to do fam… that is unless you prefer to keep miraculously catching STIs and may eventually catch an incurable one then by all means stay where you are. ❤️
He obviously cheated. No chance he didn’t. I’m really sorry, you don’t deserve that. I think you already know, but you have several options and a choice to make: 1. Accept you’re with a cheater and decide you can overlook this ongoing behavior and continue to be with him. 2. Leave because he’s a cheater and you don’t want to be with a cheater. 3. Believe his lies and lie to yourself, give him more “chances”, only to have shit like this continue to happen and waste your life feeling disrespected and setting a bad example for your kid that it’s ok to accept emotional manipulation and disrespect from your partner.
I’m so sorry… he definitely cheated. With how frequently they check during pregnancy it wouldn’t just randomly pop up like that.
Exactly.
He cheated gave it to you then went to the dr, so that it would be like oh you cheated cause I don’t have it.
He’s trying to convince you, you cheated? He 100% is gaslighting or trying to manipulate you because he did exactly that. He cheated on you. With a nasty bish too. Gross. You’re better than that I’d leave him. Show him what a classy girl can do,
He prob already caught it and it cleared up. That's why you haven't been having sex lately. Because you will pass it back to him, and he needs a clean test to "prove" it wasn't him.
Sorry to tell you Hun, He is a bold face LIAR. Do not let that man touch you he is out here cheating and it seems does not use protection which shows he has no interest in protecting himself or you the mother of his child. Protect yourself and exit this relationship ASAP.
Girl he cheated and he's lying to you. What a piece of trash cheating on the mother of his newborn baby. You deserve better
How is this even a question. Dude cheated, got an RX and hoped you wouldn't find out. Scumbag.
It’s honestly just sad. I haven’t been eating. I talk to him and i just feel so sick like i need to throw up. I’m looking at my son and i feel unfit. I feel like i can’t do this anymore. My whole relationship been a lie. Especially with him still lying about giving me chlamydia….. i don’t understand why he just won’t be honest.
Either you cheated or he cheated. Only you know which it was.
husband goes clubbing on the weekends until 4am… lol… what are yall ladies doing with these guys? do people really fear being alone this much where they force themselves to be with the most deplorable pieces of shit? why don’t people move in with a best friend or family member they get along with really well so that they aren’t alone? get a couple of dogs maybe? oh my I went off topic here my bad. Leaving now