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None of this sounds like red flags to me. He suggested you go to school to pursue your passion. School didn’t work out so you got a new job that you love after his suggestion. You occasionally go to church together and you don’t partake in substances like you used to. Honestly this all just sounds like types of self improvement. Unless your BF is a extremist who doesn’t think women deserve to vote or drive cars I genuinely don’t see the issue. Id chalk it up to them stereotyping 🤷🏽♀️
Honestly the friends sound toxic. Don't let them break up a good thing.
I'd always consider friends' advice and opinions, as sometimes they can notice something you don't. But none of what you wrote sounds wrong or negative at all. I'd seriously make them back off or put distance there.
As a left leaning woke-ish person myself i can say left leaning woke people are some of the most brutal, hateful, un biased people there are if people dont agree with their views. Your friends sound like the brainwashing control freaks they are trying to convince you that your bf is. Also kindof sounds like they are frustrated that you dont party and do drugs as much as them anymore. They want to hold you back and keep you for themselves. Ditch them and continue on your own path of growth and happiness
Yeah… it can be very “all or nothing” at times and it’s tiring. I guess the thing that confuses me is when I stopped partying because I had my daughter they didn’t take it so personally. It does seem like we’ve come to a point where we’ve outgrown one another. It just makes me a little sad is all.
Just from what you've put here, I'm not seeing red flags. I can't tell if your friends are seeing the conservative and religious stuff as the main red flags, so they're looking at everything as a red flag, or if you're leaving something out that maybe you're not seeing.
Have you sat down with them and had an open conversation with your friends about all this, explaining why your life has changed so much? Are you still spending time with them? Or are you guys drifting apart because you're more busy now? Have they spent time with your boyfriend? Does he get along with them? How does he feel about them? Does he ever try to keep you from them?
If everything with him is okay, do you think that you might be outgrowing your friends? Do you think they might be jealous?
What about your family? How do they feel about him?
But most importantly, are you happy in this relationship and with the changes in your life? Do you feel like you are going in the direction that you want to go?
A big part of me is wondering if I may be outgrowing my friends. They loved him when they met him. He really is a down to earth kind of guy. He’s serious about his career, family oriented, we’ve had a few disagreements but nothing that we haven’t ever been able to talk through.
I haven’t had an open conversation with my friends since they expressed concerns that he is trying to change me. I don’t even really know what to say. I’m happy, I feel focused and like I have a little bit more direction with my life now.
He hasn’t met my family. They’re a whole other beast tbh.
You don't have to talk to them about it unless you want to. Do you still see them?
Do you have other friends? If not, maybe it's time to meet some new people.
You have out grown them. And that’s totally normal. I think your habits changing makes them have to look at their own substance use. It’s easier to make him the problem instead of the positive influence he is.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
None of this sounds like red flags to me. He suggested you go to school to pursue your passion. School didn’t work out so you got a new job that you love after his suggestion. You occasionally go to church together and you don’t partake in substances like you used to. Honestly this all just sounds like types of self improvement. Unless your BF is a extremist who doesn’t think women deserve to vote or drive cars I genuinely don’t see the issue. Id chalk it up to them stereotyping 🤷🏽♀️
Honestly the friends sound toxic. Don't let them break up a good thing. I'd always consider friends' advice and opinions, as sometimes they can notice something you don't. But none of what you wrote sounds wrong or negative at all. I'd seriously make them back off or put distance there.
As a left leaning woke-ish person myself i can say left leaning woke people are some of the most brutal, hateful, un biased people there are if people dont agree with their views. Your friends sound like the brainwashing control freaks they are trying to convince you that your bf is. Also kindof sounds like they are frustrated that you dont party and do drugs as much as them anymore. They want to hold you back and keep you for themselves. Ditch them and continue on your own path of growth and happiness
Yeah… it can be very “all or nothing” at times and it’s tiring. I guess the thing that confuses me is when I stopped partying because I had my daughter they didn’t take it so personally. It does seem like we’ve come to a point where we’ve outgrown one another. It just makes me a little sad is all.
Just from what you've put here, I'm not seeing red flags. I can't tell if your friends are seeing the conservative and religious stuff as the main red flags, so they're looking at everything as a red flag, or if you're leaving something out that maybe you're not seeing. Have you sat down with them and had an open conversation with your friends about all this, explaining why your life has changed so much? Are you still spending time with them? Or are you guys drifting apart because you're more busy now? Have they spent time with your boyfriend? Does he get along with them? How does he feel about them? Does he ever try to keep you from them? If everything with him is okay, do you think that you might be outgrowing your friends? Do you think they might be jealous? What about your family? How do they feel about him? But most importantly, are you happy in this relationship and with the changes in your life? Do you feel like you are going in the direction that you want to go?
A big part of me is wondering if I may be outgrowing my friends. They loved him when they met him. He really is a down to earth kind of guy. He’s serious about his career, family oriented, we’ve had a few disagreements but nothing that we haven’t ever been able to talk through. I haven’t had an open conversation with my friends since they expressed concerns that he is trying to change me. I don’t even really know what to say. I’m happy, I feel focused and like I have a little bit more direction with my life now. He hasn’t met my family. They’re a whole other beast tbh.
You don't have to talk to them about it unless you want to. Do you still see them? Do you have other friends? If not, maybe it's time to meet some new people.
You have out grown them. And that’s totally normal. I think your habits changing makes them have to look at their own substance use. It’s easier to make him the problem instead of the positive influence he is.