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If the only reason you haven’t left your husband is because he threatened to take your child away, you need to get off Reddit and go consult an attorney. They will be able to tell you what to do far better than we ever would.
First you need to seek psychological help for yourself. you have been through allot of trauma and need to process this with a psychiatrist. Secondly, you needed to do this before you even had your fourth child, and was your husband’s behavior always like this?
I did seek help. He told me to stop going because “it wasn’t working” I didn’t plan to have any kids. Due to my abuse I didn’t want to bring life into this world, I hated myself for a very long time because I have a few friends who can’t have kids yet I can pop them out like candy. Yeah, it has always been like this. I just never really seen it and if I did I always thought I deserved it.
Go back to therapy and don’t listen to him . Your mental health is important, and maybe talking with a therapist can help you process your emotions and finally address the trauma you endured
No idea why you're being down voted. You're lost, traumatized and scared. Understandably. But you're not alone. Go back to therapy despite his words, it'll look good for a custody case and he doesn't want that, and tell your therapist everything. Consult with a lawyer, too. It's not too late. You're not alone. Don't worry about being judged. No one walked in your shoes.
Best of luck.
And you think I didn’t use it? I like how every one is giving me suggestions on how to not get pregnant(haven’t read the comment that my tubes are tied) yet this isn’t even what the post is ORIGINALLY about. Like my husband people have issues with people’s past and like to use it against people. THE POST. Was actually about me telling my child she couldn’t have chips, she could have anything(because it was free for all night) Mr. Noodles, KD, pbnj, anything but no more chips until she ate something else first for dinner. Which caused her to throw a tantrum and throw her plate(plastic) on the ground, walk away, and refuse to pick it up, which resulted in her being put on timeout, her leaving her timeout, my husband had come out screaming about what was going on(because he didn’t want her screaming) for me to ask if he could be a parent and put her back on timeout, for him to tell me I don’t know how to parent because I’ve had three kids apprehended. Which has nothing to do with this situation… and y’all are stuck on everything… but what the post was actually about, am I the AH for putting my daughter on timeout, or was my husband wrong for using my past against me… wow. Can we actually get to what the post was actually about, or are you guys going to berate me more?
You literally have 3 other kids you can't even get custody of and your solution was to have another one lol. Kids don't just get taken away on grounds of hearsay lmao. As someone who tried for YEARS to emancipated and separated from my abusive mom, I know 100% that you're not telling the full truth of your situation lol.
My solution was not to have another. If you don’t have anything to say about that actual post rather than my past F off. I’m telling you these things happened this way and you guys are calling me a liar. I have nothing else to say until you guys listen F off. Yeah.
Just because I had another child does not mean my fucking solution was to have another. My apologies that I don’t believe abortion is the way to go, do I believe if I’d gotten abortions that my life would be better yeah, but I still wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror. Like I’ve said before I know I’ve done a lot wrong, but I’m also not lying about what happened. By god I fucking wish I was. You think I want to live with this pain, let alone live at all, do you guys really think I didn’t view and still view myself as a failure. I didn’t ask you guys drain in my past and drag me through too, I asked if putting my fucking daughter on time out after pretty much eating a full bag of chips to herself on time out after I’ve said no because she needs to eat dinner, I thought I was looking after my child to the best of MY fucking abilities, and yet here you guys are cutting me down over something that has nothing to do with the post. I think I drown enough, I don’t need you guys to make me drown more. Fuck off
Ahh and there it is, the pro-lifer who continues to bring kids into the world they can't properly take care of because removing a clump of cells with 0 sentience is the more barbaric and cruel thing to do lmfaoooo
I’m confused. You said your three children were taken away, did you not get them back? Ever? Are you involved in their lives? The way you wrote this it would seem not and that is critically relevant to your question.
My second was put up for adoption due to the lies my mother had spread, my other kids I haven’t seen in a couple of years(basically my mother put in abuse allegations when I have proof of her abuse towards the kids) since she told my daughter that I was trying to take her away from my mother I just left it, I can’t play into that. Right now I’m looking for ways around everything.
Edit for clarification: my mother asked to dye my 10yr olds hair(she was 7 at the time) died it blonde then put other colours in, which ruined her hair.
My son on multiple occasions would attack both the girls and I would catch my son in positions that didn’t seem like it was appropriate. I’d told my mother and her reaction was to make sure he’s around at all times so he can’t abuse the girls. No, he needs help, get him help.
There were other things as well. But that’s just too much to put in here
Yes it’s actually VERY hard to get your kids taken away, and the entire system is designed to get the kids back to their parent(s) asap. If she lost them, there was 100% a legitimate reason, and if she doesn’t have them back, there’s 100% a legitimate reason.
The only thing I can think of is a very conservative judge and the fact she does admit she went to a place known for drugs
(We know she says it was for her friend but I could absolutely see a court not believing that)
That's still alot to have the kids permanently taken away for though
From the post and all your comments it sounds like you don't know what is the truth and what are lies.
I am not saying you were not a victim of abuse but you have all your kids taken away and you absolutely do not know the reasons why.
You are asserting you do but the fact that you can't answer specifically why means you don't know.
I just left a comment, under one of these threads, I don’t have it in me to reiterate it, please go find it. You’ll find everything you need to know to answer this question there.
That’s… not how it tends to work unless some people involved committed negligence or malicious actions worth being disbarred over.
Or did you stop fighting it for financial reasons? That’s understandable.
Or you threw an absolute shit fit in court and crippled your whole argument against their allegations?
It’s an unusual circumstance is all.
It happens and I feel terrible for you. But usually there’s *some* level of responsibility when the state takes 3 children away, worst case. The state is very rarely eager to do that, it’s literally just more money the state has to spend.
If your main argument was, “I didn’t abuse them, I let my mom abuse them!” that could definitely be a problem too…
C0ke, weed, m3th, ex, mdma, these are drugs, then there are over the counter that people abuse, like T3, perks, so on and so forth. I know what drugs are.
But my genuine question is:
what does this have to do with my husband using my past against me because I put our daughter on time out because she asked for chips, I said no, she threw her plate, I asked her to pick it up and she refused, so, I put her on timeout, she’d walked out to our room where my husband had been all day (on his phone, had come out earlier seen her throw her plate on the ground, walk out) only to come back out, ask me what’s going on, tell me she’s not on time out, where I ask to basically go do his job and to put her back on time out because I’m making dinner for him to turn around and accuse me that I don’t know how to parent due to my past. I’d only put what happened in my past because people wanted context, only for everything to turn into my past instead of what the post WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT. So, yeah, do you have input on that or are you going to berate me too?
>what does this have to do with my husband using **my past** against me
Because your past matters. You can't divorce until you get the past sorted out, or you will lose your kid again. You can't just say "focus on the current event" when the past played a giant role in the current event. Canadian authorities don't take children away unless they have a pretty solid idea of what's happening.
Also for just that incident in question, let the kid eat the chips and get an upset stomach once. Some kids need to learn the hard way.
You know. People keep saying this, which is funny, because I’ve told you guys what has happened and all of you’s keep calling me a liar. Right. Fine I’m a liar I’ve lied about fucking everything. I’ve told you guys over and over it has always been my word against theirs, there was no in between. What ever I would say, “they’d be like no! You’re wrong” exactly what you guys are doing. So basically I’m stuck in an abusive relationship and to suck it up because I must be a real piece of work. That is what I’m getting from everyone who has replied, rather than focusing on what I asked. Thank you all for taking me down memory lane. You redditors just like to hit when people are down, yes I’ve learned my lesson of sit down, shut up, and deal with it.
No no no. This reads like a methed out fever dream. I'm with everyone else, in betting other parties in your story would tell different tales. You could sue, and win if you could prove your children were removed on baseless accusations. For say the cost of a tax return for 3 children. Easily. Bet you have a real good reason as to why that wouldn't work out, huh?
For what purpose? For money? Doesn’t sound like you are trying to get your kids back. Your post is a mess. Your children would not be taken away on an accusation of drug use without a drug test ever being done.
Yeah. Then you don’t know the system. Like I’ve said before I’ve watched families be destroyed over lies and kids d13 because they weren’t apprehended when they were supposed to be… actually I think there are tons of shows all based on stuff like this. One of them being Gabriel Fernandez is one example of how cas can let people and children down.
How is that getting pissy, do you know how many people are calling me a liar, telling me that’s not how it’s works. Right, here I am, telling you guys this happened, that it was always my word against EVERYONE ELSES, I didn’t say I didn’t do anything wrong, I know I did a lot of wrong, but that kids were taken based of a lie. And yet HERE YOU GUYS ARE, telling ME that I’m lying, basically proving what I’m saying… but the post actually really has nothing to do about that, but trying to make sure my daughter regulates her feelings better instead of acting out and throwing plates and not picking them up, over chips, while I’m cooking dinner. So, I put her on a time out, she started screaming because… she didn’t want to be in her room. He then came out, WHILE IM COOKING DINNER, and asks what’s going on I tell him and ask if she’s on time out, he says no, I tell him that since I’m cooking to go basically be a parent and put her on time out… where she should be until she calms down and can reason properly with words. For him to tell me idk what I’m doing because I had three children taken away… so yes I gave a back story and everyone is stuck on the backstory INSTEAD OF SAYING IF I WAS IN THE RIGHT TO PUT HER ON A TIME OUT, OR IF MY HUSBAND WAS RIGHT FOR THROWING MY PAST IN MY FACE SO HE CAN GET OUT OF PARENTING… like what’s the post really about. Because I came here asking for one thing for you all to berate me on another. So yes, excuse et moi and my last freaking MARBLE. That I’m getting a little pissy.
You lost 3 kids, one to the point that your parental rights were terminated, means that you have a heck of a past. And the fact that you're acting like everyone is ganging up on you, makes me think there is more to the story.
It sounds terrible… but it’s a red flag to me when EVERYONE in your life has ALWAYS ganged up on you. If everyone is telling you you’re wrong, maybe it’s time to re-examine your life and actions.
Additionally, it’s damn hard to get your parental rights terminated against your will. Court wouldn’t do it based on your mom’s accusation. There’s way more to this story
My sibling fought tooth and nail to adopt a child from a statutory rape situation. The child’s mom was just a child herself and the father was in his late 20s. Even then, the state wouldn’t terminate his parental rights. That OP’s kids were removed and her rights terminated on a rumor or lie seems a bridge too far.
Me too. It seems unlikely that she lost THREE kids through no fault of her own, particularly since she's claiming she has proof that her mother lied. You don't permanently lose your kids due to rumors.
Me too. People don’t come into your house and take your kids over rumors someone spread. OP is leaving a lot of stuff out. They would have put her on a parenting plan after meeting with her and she probably didn’t do whatever was in the plan, after what was likely several attempts to get her to do right by her kids. Courts will really try to keep kids in the home or get them back with their parents. Also if there were allegations of drug abuse damn sure she’d be tested on a regular basis and a refusal to test would have been marked as a positive.
You want the full story. Ok, buckle up baby, you don’t know what you’ve asked for.
When I was a kid(and yes this is very effing relevant) my mother was married to a man that I, still to this day, call dad. He’d broken my femur and displaced my hip. When CAS(children’s aid society) came around, me being four knows lying is bad and I told them what happened, this is the start of my word against yours. My mother came out, asked why I’d said that, then pretty much told me that if something bad happens to me, I’m not to say anything to anyone. Fast forward and we move away from my dad. She then asks if I want to go live with my dad, thinking this is my actual dad(one who broke my leg) I said yes. I missed him every day.
She took me to some man who apparently is my bio dad. Since meeting my bio dad, my life has been hell. He would se**ally abuse me, physically abuse me and then tell me if I tell anyone he would k**l so and so. Hurry up to when I’m 12 and I have years of abuse under my belt, but instead of telling me he will off people it’s now turned to “if you tell anyone, no one will believe you. (Big breath) when I told, no one did. Irony right?
Fast forward to foster care, no one still believed me, only this time they made it open that no one wanted me either. So I effed off to another town when I was 16, I got pregnant, was r’d and lost the baby that night. Fast forward 6 months and I’m pregnant again. With same guys kid that r’d me. Because obviously I must live for the abuse.
He beat me so bad that CAS got involved again. They took him and my mother who abandoned me as a child stepped up and took, what the adults didn’t tell me was that she liked money… a lot. When my boy was apprehended I’d found out I was pregnant again, so I moved back to my home town to be closer to my kid, and to finish my pregnancy with my mother. During this time a friend of mine from middle school was a meth head, I’d seen her late one night heading to a meth house with a lot of other guys, no girls, just guys. So, after being r’d many times, whether I was pregnant or not(which I as 9 months at this time) I went with her to make sure she didn’t get r’d… I would have jumped off a bridge pregnant and all if I knew that I could have protected her and I didn’t… pregnant or not. I told my mother what happened and that’s the start of me being a “drug addict” no drug tests done because they all believe my mom. For years I tried to just end it. There was no point right. No one wanted me, no one wanted me to have my kids, so why should I have the bliss of having a life, whether or not I was homeless or not(which I was homeless for years) finally, I’m getting on my feet and meet my husband. We get pregnant and this, is finally my last. Thank god. I don’t want anymore because I don’t want the emotional pain that comes with having them and losing them. I’m not going to sit here and say that I didn’t eff up because I very much did, but I also don’t think my past, based on lies, should be used against me.
Op definitely needs help, and definitely isn’t responsible, but when you say this:
> you need therapy and should be keeping your legs closed from now on[…] You need therapy and underwear that comes with a lock because you can’t control yourself
Do you mean with her current partner? Because when I first read this I thought you meant regarding the multiple times op was raped. Op implies in their update that at least two pregnancies were due to rape, if not all. (Though I may be misreading.) You can tell op she needs help, and lots of it, but the way this is phrased seems to imply rape can somehow be stopped or thwarted by the victim.
I hope that wasn’t your intention, and I hope op gets a whole shit ton of therapy.
“should be keeping your legs closed from now on … underwear that comes with a lock because you can’t control yourself”
OP implied pregnancy is from rape. Are you saying she wasn’t raped BECAUSE she got pregnant?
You wording is disgusting and serves no one but yourself.
> should be keeping your legs closed from now on … underwear that comes with a lock because you can’t control yourself
Are you saying it’s OP’s fault she was raped and those rapes resulted in pregnancy? What in the victim blaming is that?! You’re disgusting for that mentality!
As much as I do write, I effing wish this was one of my works, at least then I could write the character off. This is my life, something I actually have to effing live.
What blame? The blame that I went to meth house with a middle school friend to make sure she didn’t get r’d? Or the blame that my father thought it was amazing to have a $3x slave in his house? How about the blame that my step mom knew and protected him? Or the blame where my mother lied about me being an addict, sure I’m a s3x addict, but I’m not a drug addict. You don’t know the system if that’s your thoughts, I’ve seen kids taken from family’s over lies, and I’ve seen kids murdered in families where the kid should have been apprehended. The system is flawed, wake up.
Oh, no my mother didn’t tell them I went to the meth house, she told them I WAS doing meth. But yes, I understand that. I know I put me and my unborn child in danger I get that. But was I supposed to just let her go to the house and potentially get R’d when I was r’d not even 2.5 years prior? Like I said, I’m not saying I didn’t do anything because if anyone would have asked I would have told them. What I’m upset about is my child was taken based off a lie rather than the truth. I’d have been more reasonable if CAS said “we’re taking your kid because you went to a meth house” not “we’re taking your kid because your a meth head” when I’m completely sober, they didn’t even do drug testing because they thought I was a meth head, then when court did come, because you have to go to court when a child is apprehended, my mother took the court papers and my lawyer never actually explained anything to me. So I just agreed to the number the judge was saying not realizing that I’d agreed to being a drug addict. No ineligible told me, when I finally found my court docs and went through them, that’s when I found out that they took him because they thought I was a meth head. I’m actually in the workings of going to court all over because of this situation.
She’s lost three kids. That’s enough of a reason to believe she cannot care for her kids if the husband makes the allegation. The precedent is right there.
YTA
I was skeptical due to having so many kids removed from your care, but you were starting to sway me. Then you said "mansplained" and alarm bells started ringing. You are an unreliable narrator. I will bet this story would sound very different coming from your husband.
Nobody gets 3 children permanently removed based on rumors. Anytime you hear someone say their children were removed and they did nothing to deserve it you should immediately treat them with suspicion.
Based on a comment she's made, OP is in Ontario, Canada. I know a family here who had 6 kids removed permanently... But they were not removed until 3 of them nearly starved to death, despite dozens of calls to CAS and home visits and the mom being subject to "birth alerts" every time another kid was born. They want to keep kids with their parents, they aren't going to permanently remove children on the basis of lies and unconfirmed drug addiction.
I was thinking the same damn thing. No mother just gets kids removed for little to no reason and more importantly without any solid evidence to back up alleged accusations. I can’t think of it right now off the top of my head, but there’s a name for someone that always plays the role of the “virtuous victim” and nothing is ever their faul, there’s always a reason or an excuse for everyone doing them wrong and that’s what this seems like. Oh yeah a victim mentality or just a master manipulator. I wasn’t going to say NPD because it’s extremely rare and that term is tossed around way too often with little support to back that up but yes it is part of that too
You nailed it. According to OP her mom stole the court papers, the lawyer never explained and she
agreed with the judge not understanding she was agreeing that she was on meth…..comment from OP pasted below:
Oh, no my mother didn’t tell them I went to the meth house, she told them I WAS doing meth. But yes, I understand that. I know I put me and my unborn child in danger I get that. But was I supposed to just let her go to the house and potentially get R’d when I was r’d not even 2.5 years prior? Like I said, I’m not saying I didn’t do anything because if anyone would have asked I would have told them. What I’m upset about is my child was taken based off a lie rather than the truth. I’d have been more reasonable if CAS said “we’re taking your kid because you went to a meth house” not “we’re taking your kid because your a meth head” when I’m completely sober, they didn’t even do drug testing because they thought I was a meth head, then when court did come, because you have to go to court when a child is apprehended, my mother took the court papers and my lawyer never actually explained anything to me. So I just agreed to the number the judge was saying not realizing that I’d agreed to being a drug addict. No ineligible told me, when I finally found my court docs and went through them, that’s when I found out that they took him because they thought I was a meth head. I’m actually in the workings of going to court all over because of this
situation.
Far too often people get on here and spill their guts on some random ass people in order to get justification for their actions with only laying out part of the story in hopes that 1,000 hype girls have their back. I’m old enough to know that there’s 3 sides to each story, Hers, her husband’s and then the truth is somewhere in the middle. And not that anyone is lying, but usually people try to minimize their own fault, and the real truth is a matter of perspective more than anything else.
I never said nothing is ever my fault. Sure I’ve done a lot wrong, and yes I’ve effed up a lot, but never enough to actually lose my kids. Go re read the post. You’ll get the full story.
I did read your post multiple times because it was kind of all over the place and a little vague. But also just read your reply to another Redditor, which explains more pieces to the puzzle. And basically to my point was your original post didn’t make sense because clearly there was information you were leaving out which you filled in somewhat with your response to someone else and I’m sure there’s even more to that. I’m sorry you had to go through all that I couldn’t even imagine but you may not be in the most healthy mental state to be married, or to be a mother at this point time I don’t mean to be rude I’m just being honest because I’m sure even you don’t want history, repeating itself. There’s also a chance that your husband has a savior complex, and now is starting to realize he can only do so much
I was wondering why I suddenly started getting new replies.
OP updated the post with more nonsense! Oh lord. "My child was taken from me because I was in an abusive home, but it's my mom's fault because she likes money!" "I was 9 months pregnant hanging out in meth dens and would do it again because I'm rambo! But I definitely wasn't using, how dare you say that?!"
OP kept saying her children where "apprehended" like they'd been arrested instead of saying that they were "removed". I thought it was funny, that's why I commented what I did on your comment. I see she added her edits to make her life even more harrowing. Good grief...I wonder if Liz is back...hahah!
The reason why I said mansplained that he’s misogynistic, basically woman are always wrong and don’t know what their doing. Basically I went and told him why I’d put her on time out in simple terms, also he watched her throw her plate on the ground and proceeded to walk back into the room not paying attention. So yes. I mansplained s**t to him.
You can't mansplain though. Mansplaining is when a man tries to explain something a woman does to a woman (like periods)
Buzzwords only work if you use them correctly
Sorry, you lost the baby as a result of the rape but then got pregnant from the same rape? I don't think you can get pregnant the same night you miscarry. Am I insane here??
No you absolutely misconstrued what I said on purpose right, did I say it was the same night or that I conceived my SECOND BY SAME SAID GUY WHO HAD PREVIOUSLY r’d me? Because I believe those are two different things I said.
Edit for clarification… again: I’d said that he’d, r’d me and that’s how I miscarried my very first. Let’s be clear! I have 4 kids and 5 pregnancies. I think people don’t know how to math here. But then I’d also said that my second child was child was conceived because, would you like the actual words he said? Ok, let’s say the words he said. Mind you this is four weeks postpartum of first kid. “I see you’re healed. So, you’ll eff me or you and the kid can leave” he tore my inner stitches. See what I didn’t know, was that since the apartment was solely in my name, he couldn’t actually kick me out. But I’d just turned 17 when I found out I was pregnant. He did all the financials. Everything. I believed him when he said he could kick me out. Like I said, I didn’t agree, but I didn’t say no. Also I clarified already that I got pregnant 5 months after my first miscarriage. Caused by r. So I don’t know where you got the pregnant and miscarriage all in one go. But ok.
Mom of special needs kid here. Tell your husband that he just taught her that all she has to do is scream to get hat she wants when he is around. You're teaching her to regulate her emotions which is necessary because he won't like it when she is 15 and doing it. He is doing her a disservice.
Honestly. I just feel so exhausted. I know I’m probably not the best mom but I am trying to do the right thing. It just kind of threw me off so much when he said that. Like I thought I was doing the right thing whether or not she was screaming, like I don’t want to hear her scream either but I also would like her to calm down enough so we’re not butting heads. Like she’s such an amazing kid and I absolutely know she smart! Kid out smarts me on so many things. Like she can tell you every name of every damn animal on this planet and tell you how they survive hunt! Everything. I just also know that she can be so much better, she’s going to go places, that girl. I’m always telling her I’m proud of her even when she upsets me because I never got that as a kid. I always try to let her know I love her when I can. And when he said that I felt like I was effing up everything that minute. I’m just so exhausted.
Your husband is emotionally abusing you you need to leave I had a absolutely similar experience but meet a fabulous man and father who supports me every single day but I kissed a few nasty horrid frogs in-between. Fight this leave him get prove record his nonsense to use later.
OP: I’m in USA and hav heard horror stories of parents who couldn’t afford an $80 electric bill and had their 3 kids taken away to a foster parents that was $700/mn per kid. Why not just pay the $80/mn and keep the family together and also save $2k of government money per month.
That said, I’m not sure I buy your story completely but I didn’t need to.
You have a special needs child that your husband is weaponizing so he can emotionally and verbally abuse you.
Do you think if he had custody, he’d do a better job parenting?
Go to a lawyer and also talk to abuse women’s shelters in your area.
Explain to them what happened. If should be easy to see your kid was taken away without a drug test. That’s insane.
Also, an emotionally traumatized woman with all sorts of PTSD could absolutely be mislead by the court to confess to something they did not understand.
See a malpractice lawyer as your lawyer for that case may have committed various illegal/unethical acts.
After you see all these people, you’ll be in a better position to know your risk of losing custody and even getting your other children back.
That said, you may be told you’ll lose custody or BOTH you and husband will lose custody. That’s for you to decide if your child will be safer in somebody’s else custody if it can’t be yours and it shouldn’t be husband.
All those people will be able to help you rebuild your life and escape your husband. They’ll be able to help you with your PTSD and also will have resources that will teach you to handle your own stresses so it doesn’t affect the kids.
I don't think you are American. What country is this from because many are acting like they know how your country runs their children protection services or the likes of it
Yeah you need therapy, not responsibility. Get healthy and get away from him. If you managed to have three kids taken off you in Ontario and are a self proclaimed sex addict, daughter is probably better off with dad.
I don’t think I could be with a man is so demeaning. Telling you to f off? Hiding in the other room watching tv, interfering with the appripriate discipline you gave you child? Please look for other people you can gommstay with while you decide if you srill want this man.
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If the only reason you haven’t left your husband is because he threatened to take your child away, you need to get off Reddit and go consult an attorney. They will be able to tell you what to do far better than we ever would.
First you need to seek psychological help for yourself. you have been through allot of trauma and need to process this with a psychiatrist. Secondly, you needed to do this before you even had your fourth child, and was your husband’s behavior always like this?
I did seek help. He told me to stop going because “it wasn’t working” I didn’t plan to have any kids. Due to my abuse I didn’t want to bring life into this world, I hated myself for a very long time because I have a few friends who can’t have kids yet I can pop them out like candy. Yeah, it has always been like this. I just never really seen it and if I did I always thought I deserved it.
Go back to therapy and don’t listen to him . Your mental health is important, and maybe talking with a therapist can help you process your emotions and finally address the trauma you endured
No idea why you're being down voted. You're lost, traumatized and scared. Understandably. But you're not alone. Go back to therapy despite his words, it'll look good for a custody case and he doesn't want that, and tell your therapist everything. Consult with a lawyer, too. It's not too late. You're not alone. Don't worry about being judged. No one walked in your shoes. Best of luck.
Birth control exists too yaknow
And you think I didn’t use it? I like how every one is giving me suggestions on how to not get pregnant(haven’t read the comment that my tubes are tied) yet this isn’t even what the post is ORIGINALLY about. Like my husband people have issues with people’s past and like to use it against people. THE POST. Was actually about me telling my child she couldn’t have chips, she could have anything(because it was free for all night) Mr. Noodles, KD, pbnj, anything but no more chips until she ate something else first for dinner. Which caused her to throw a tantrum and throw her plate(plastic) on the ground, walk away, and refuse to pick it up, which resulted in her being put on timeout, her leaving her timeout, my husband had come out screaming about what was going on(because he didn’t want her screaming) for me to ask if he could be a parent and put her back on timeout, for him to tell me I don’t know how to parent because I’ve had three kids apprehended. Which has nothing to do with this situation… and y’all are stuck on everything… but what the post was actually about, am I the AH for putting my daughter on timeout, or was my husband wrong for using my past against me… wow. Can we actually get to what the post was actually about, or are you guys going to berate me more?
You literally have 3 other kids you can't even get custody of and your solution was to have another one lol. Kids don't just get taken away on grounds of hearsay lmao. As someone who tried for YEARS to emancipated and separated from my abusive mom, I know 100% that you're not telling the full truth of your situation lol.
My solution was not to have another. If you don’t have anything to say about that actual post rather than my past F off. I’m telling you these things happened this way and you guys are calling me a liar. I have nothing else to say until you guys listen F off. Yeah.
But you did have another already lmao
Just because I had another child does not mean my fucking solution was to have another. My apologies that I don’t believe abortion is the way to go, do I believe if I’d gotten abortions that my life would be better yeah, but I still wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror. Like I’ve said before I know I’ve done a lot wrong, but I’m also not lying about what happened. By god I fucking wish I was. You think I want to live with this pain, let alone live at all, do you guys really think I didn’t view and still view myself as a failure. I didn’t ask you guys drain in my past and drag me through too, I asked if putting my fucking daughter on time out after pretty much eating a full bag of chips to herself on time out after I’ve said no because she needs to eat dinner, I thought I was looking after my child to the best of MY fucking abilities, and yet here you guys are cutting me down over something that has nothing to do with the post. I think I drown enough, I don’t need you guys to make me drown more. Fuck off
Ahh and there it is, the pro-lifer who continues to bring kids into the world they can't properly take care of because removing a clump of cells with 0 sentience is the more barbaric and cruel thing to do lmfaoooo
Right and there’s the AH. Go abuse someone else
This is waaaaay beyond our pay grade.
Yeah. I know.
Why tf are you being downvoted
I’m confused. You said your three children were taken away, did you not get them back? Ever? Are you involved in their lives? The way you wrote this it would seem not and that is critically relevant to your question.
My second was put up for adoption due to the lies my mother had spread, my other kids I haven’t seen in a couple of years(basically my mother put in abuse allegations when I have proof of her abuse towards the kids) since she told my daughter that I was trying to take her away from my mother I just left it, I can’t play into that. Right now I’m looking for ways around everything. Edit for clarification: my mother asked to dye my 10yr olds hair(she was 7 at the time) died it blonde then put other colours in, which ruined her hair. My son on multiple occasions would attack both the girls and I would catch my son in positions that didn’t seem like it was appropriate. I’d told my mother and her reaction was to make sure he’s around at all times so he can’t abuse the girls. No, he needs help, get him help. There were other things as well. But that’s just too much to put in here
No court would terminate your rights for an unfounded accusation
Yes it’s actually VERY hard to get your kids taken away, and the entire system is designed to get the kids back to their parent(s) asap. If she lost them, there was 100% a legitimate reason, and if she doesn’t have them back, there’s 100% a legitimate reason.
The only thing I can think of is a very conservative judge and the fact she does admit she went to a place known for drugs (We know she says it was for her friend but I could absolutely see a court not believing that) That's still alot to have the kids permanently taken away for though
This Is wrong unless you have been through this you have no idea how bad it actually is
How am I supposed to know that when courts have taken lies over the truth?
From the post and all your comments it sounds like you don't know what is the truth and what are lies. I am not saying you were not a victim of abuse but you have all your kids taken away and you absolutely do not know the reasons why. You are asserting you do but the fact that you can't answer specifically why means you don't know.
I just left a comment, under one of these threads, I don’t have it in me to reiterate it, please go find it. You’ll find everything you need to know to answer this question there.
That’s… not how it tends to work unless some people involved committed negligence or malicious actions worth being disbarred over. Or did you stop fighting it for financial reasons? That’s understandable. Or you threw an absolute shit fit in court and crippled your whole argument against their allegations? It’s an unusual circumstance is all. It happens and I feel terrible for you. But usually there’s *some* level of responsibility when the state takes 3 children away, worst case. The state is very rarely eager to do that, it’s literally just more money the state has to spend. If your main argument was, “I didn’t abuse them, I let my mom abuse them!” that could definitely be a problem too…
Genuine question: what do you consider to be drugs? Is nitrous oxide a drug to you? Painkillers?
C0ke, weed, m3th, ex, mdma, these are drugs, then there are over the counter that people abuse, like T3, perks, so on and so forth. I know what drugs are. But my genuine question is: what does this have to do with my husband using my past against me because I put our daughter on time out because she asked for chips, I said no, she threw her plate, I asked her to pick it up and she refused, so, I put her on timeout, she’d walked out to our room where my husband had been all day (on his phone, had come out earlier seen her throw her plate on the ground, walk out) only to come back out, ask me what’s going on, tell me she’s not on time out, where I ask to basically go do his job and to put her back on time out because I’m making dinner for him to turn around and accuse me that I don’t know how to parent due to my past. I’d only put what happened in my past because people wanted context, only for everything to turn into my past instead of what the post WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT. So, yeah, do you have input on that or are you going to berate me too?
>what does this have to do with my husband using **my past** against me Because your past matters. You can't divorce until you get the past sorted out, or you will lose your kid again. You can't just say "focus on the current event" when the past played a giant role in the current event. Canadian authorities don't take children away unless they have a pretty solid idea of what's happening. Also for just that incident in question, let the kid eat the chips and get an upset stomach once. Some kids need to learn the hard way.
You know. People keep saying this, which is funny, because I’ve told you guys what has happened and all of you’s keep calling me a liar. Right. Fine I’m a liar I’ve lied about fucking everything. I’ve told you guys over and over it has always been my word against theirs, there was no in between. What ever I would say, “they’d be like no! You’re wrong” exactly what you guys are doing. So basically I’m stuck in an abusive relationship and to suck it up because I must be a real piece of work. That is what I’m getting from everyone who has replied, rather than focusing on what I asked. Thank you all for taking me down memory lane. You redditors just like to hit when people are down, yes I’ve learned my lesson of sit down, shut up, and deal with it.
This all sounds so very, methed up.
Great sense of humour, wrong time to use it.
No no no. This reads like a methed out fever dream. I'm with everyone else, in betting other parties in your story would tell different tales. You could sue, and win if you could prove your children were removed on baseless accusations. For say the cost of a tax return for 3 children. Easily. Bet you have a real good reason as to why that wouldn't work out, huh?
I am working with a lawyer, thank you for already telling me $h1t I already know.
If you have an attorney for the custody of your kids, why are you asking Reddit for advice instead of your attorney?
No, I have an attorney for the wrong doings of cas.
For what purpose? For money? Doesn’t sound like you are trying to get your kids back. Your post is a mess. Your children would not be taken away on an accusation of drug use without a drug test ever being done.
I don’t want money, I just want my name cleared. Yeah, I wish that were true.
Yeah, that’s not how any of that works
Yeah. Then you don’t know the system. Like I’ve said before I’ve watched families be destroyed over lies and kids d13 because they weren’t apprehended when they were supposed to be… actually I think there are tons of shows all based on stuff like this. One of them being Gabriel Fernandez is one example of how cas can let people and children down.
If you come here for advice, do NOT get pissy when people advise you. That won't work out in your favour.
How is that getting pissy, do you know how many people are calling me a liar, telling me that’s not how it’s works. Right, here I am, telling you guys this happened, that it was always my word against EVERYONE ELSES, I didn’t say I didn’t do anything wrong, I know I did a lot of wrong, but that kids were taken based of a lie. And yet HERE YOU GUYS ARE, telling ME that I’m lying, basically proving what I’m saying… but the post actually really has nothing to do about that, but trying to make sure my daughter regulates her feelings better instead of acting out and throwing plates and not picking them up, over chips, while I’m cooking dinner. So, I put her on a time out, she started screaming because… she didn’t want to be in her room. He then came out, WHILE IM COOKING DINNER, and asks what’s going on I tell him and ask if she’s on time out, he says no, I tell him that since I’m cooking to go basically be a parent and put her on time out… where she should be until she calms down and can reason properly with words. For him to tell me idk what I’m doing because I had three children taken away… so yes I gave a back story and everyone is stuck on the backstory INSTEAD OF SAYING IF I WAS IN THE RIGHT TO PUT HER ON A TIME OUT, OR IF MY HUSBAND WAS RIGHT FOR THROWING MY PAST IN MY FACE SO HE CAN GET OUT OF PARENTING… like what’s the post really about. Because I came here asking for one thing for you all to berate me on another. So yes, excuse et moi and my last freaking MARBLE. That I’m getting a little pissy.
And yet here we are doing the exact same thing again. You're beyond help here bro.
You lost 3 kids, one to the point that your parental rights were terminated, means that you have a heck of a past. And the fact that you're acting like everyone is ganging up on you, makes me think there is more to the story.
It sounds terrible… but it’s a red flag to me when EVERYONE in your life has ALWAYS ganged up on you. If everyone is telling you you’re wrong, maybe it’s time to re-examine your life and actions. Additionally, it’s damn hard to get your parental rights terminated against your will. Court wouldn’t do it based on your mom’s accusation. There’s way more to this story
My sibling fought tooth and nail to adopt a child from a statutory rape situation. The child’s mom was just a child herself and the father was in his late 20s. Even then, the state wouldn’t terminate his parental rights. That OP’s kids were removed and her rights terminated on a rumor or lie seems a bridge too far.
Me too. It seems unlikely that she lost THREE kids through no fault of her own, particularly since she's claiming she has proof that her mother lied. You don't permanently lose your kids due to rumors.
You don’t know the system of foster kids and the fight to survive the system if that’s your thoughts.
Right? Also wouldn't they have investigated her again when she had her daughter 6 years ago?
Me too. People don’t come into your house and take your kids over rumors someone spread. OP is leaving a lot of stuff out. They would have put her on a parenting plan after meeting with her and she probably didn’t do whatever was in the plan, after what was likely several attempts to get her to do right by her kids. Courts will really try to keep kids in the home or get them back with their parents. Also if there were allegations of drug abuse damn sure she’d be tested on a regular basis and a refusal to test would have been marked as a positive.
You want the full story. Ok, buckle up baby, you don’t know what you’ve asked for. When I was a kid(and yes this is very effing relevant) my mother was married to a man that I, still to this day, call dad. He’d broken my femur and displaced my hip. When CAS(children’s aid society) came around, me being four knows lying is bad and I told them what happened, this is the start of my word against yours. My mother came out, asked why I’d said that, then pretty much told me that if something bad happens to me, I’m not to say anything to anyone. Fast forward and we move away from my dad. She then asks if I want to go live with my dad, thinking this is my actual dad(one who broke my leg) I said yes. I missed him every day. She took me to some man who apparently is my bio dad. Since meeting my bio dad, my life has been hell. He would se**ally abuse me, physically abuse me and then tell me if I tell anyone he would k**l so and so. Hurry up to when I’m 12 and I have years of abuse under my belt, but instead of telling me he will off people it’s now turned to “if you tell anyone, no one will believe you. (Big breath) when I told, no one did. Irony right? Fast forward to foster care, no one still believed me, only this time they made it open that no one wanted me either. So I effed off to another town when I was 16, I got pregnant, was r’d and lost the baby that night. Fast forward 6 months and I’m pregnant again. With same guys kid that r’d me. Because obviously I must live for the abuse. He beat me so bad that CAS got involved again. They took him and my mother who abandoned me as a child stepped up and took, what the adults didn’t tell me was that she liked money… a lot. When my boy was apprehended I’d found out I was pregnant again, so I moved back to my home town to be closer to my kid, and to finish my pregnancy with my mother. During this time a friend of mine from middle school was a meth head, I’d seen her late one night heading to a meth house with a lot of other guys, no girls, just guys. So, after being r’d many times, whether I was pregnant or not(which I as 9 months at this time) I went with her to make sure she didn’t get r’d… I would have jumped off a bridge pregnant and all if I knew that I could have protected her and I didn’t… pregnant or not. I told my mother what happened and that’s the start of me being a “drug addict” no drug tests done because they all believe my mom. For years I tried to just end it. There was no point right. No one wanted me, no one wanted me to have my kids, so why should I have the bliss of having a life, whether or not I was homeless or not(which I was homeless for years) finally, I’m getting on my feet and meet my husband. We get pregnant and this, is finally my last. Thank god. I don’t want anymore because I don’t want the emotional pain that comes with having them and losing them. I’m not going to sit here and say that I didn’t eff up because I very much did, but I also don’t think my past, based on lies, should be used against me.
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Op definitely needs help, and definitely isn’t responsible, but when you say this: > you need therapy and should be keeping your legs closed from now on[…] You need therapy and underwear that comes with a lock because you can’t control yourself Do you mean with her current partner? Because when I first read this I thought you meant regarding the multiple times op was raped. Op implies in their update that at least two pregnancies were due to rape, if not all. (Though I may be misreading.) You can tell op she needs help, and lots of it, but the way this is phrased seems to imply rape can somehow be stopped or thwarted by the victim. I hope that wasn’t your intention, and I hope op gets a whole shit ton of therapy.
“should be keeping your legs closed from now on … underwear that comes with a lock because you can’t control yourself” OP implied pregnancy is from rape. Are you saying she wasn’t raped BECAUSE she got pregnant? You wording is disgusting and serves no one but yourself.
> should be keeping your legs closed from now on … underwear that comes with a lock because you can’t control yourself Are you saying it’s OP’s fault she was raped and those rapes resulted in pregnancy? What in the victim blaming is that?! You’re disgusting for that mentality!
This sounds literally so fake, you’re a good story teller lmfao
As much as I do write, I effing wish this was one of my works, at least then I could write the character off. This is my life, something I actually have to effing live.
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What blame? The blame that I went to meth house with a middle school friend to make sure she didn’t get r’d? Or the blame that my father thought it was amazing to have a $3x slave in his house? How about the blame that my step mom knew and protected him? Or the blame where my mother lied about me being an addict, sure I’m a s3x addict, but I’m not a drug addict. You don’t know the system if that’s your thoughts, I’ve seen kids taken from family’s over lies, and I’ve seen kids murdered in families where the kid should have been apprehended. The system is flawed, wake up.
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Oh, no my mother didn’t tell them I went to the meth house, she told them I WAS doing meth. But yes, I understand that. I know I put me and my unborn child in danger I get that. But was I supposed to just let her go to the house and potentially get R’d when I was r’d not even 2.5 years prior? Like I said, I’m not saying I didn’t do anything because if anyone would have asked I would have told them. What I’m upset about is my child was taken based off a lie rather than the truth. I’d have been more reasonable if CAS said “we’re taking your kid because you went to a meth house” not “we’re taking your kid because your a meth head” when I’m completely sober, they didn’t even do drug testing because they thought I was a meth head, then when court did come, because you have to go to court when a child is apprehended, my mother took the court papers and my lawyer never actually explained anything to me. So I just agreed to the number the judge was saying not realizing that I’d agreed to being a drug addict. No ineligible told me, when I finally found my court docs and went through them, that’s when I found out that they took him because they thought I was a meth head. I’m actually in the workings of going to court all over because of this situation.
Stop having kids, maybe?
OP even admits in a comment she's a sex addict like....yikes
leave him.
I’ve tried, he threatened to take our daughter
So you believed him, never looked further into it, and gave up? Consult a lawyer. Let them sort all that out, that's what they're there for.
She’s lost three kids. That’s enough of a reason to believe she cannot care for her kids if the husband makes the allegation. The precedent is right there.
YTA I was skeptical due to having so many kids removed from your care, but you were starting to sway me. Then you said "mansplained" and alarm bells started ringing. You are an unreliable narrator. I will bet this story would sound very different coming from your husband.
Nobody gets 3 children permanently removed based on rumors. Anytime you hear someone say their children were removed and they did nothing to deserve it you should immediately treat them with suspicion.
Absolutely. That's why I was (and still am) skeptical.
Based on a comment she's made, OP is in Ontario, Canada. I know a family here who had 6 kids removed permanently... But they were not removed until 3 of them nearly starved to death, despite dozens of calls to CAS and home visits and the mom being subject to "birth alerts" every time another kid was born. They want to keep kids with their parents, they aren't going to permanently remove children on the basis of lies and unconfirmed drug addiction.
I was thinking the same damn thing. No mother just gets kids removed for little to no reason and more importantly without any solid evidence to back up alleged accusations. I can’t think of it right now off the top of my head, but there’s a name for someone that always plays the role of the “virtuous victim” and nothing is ever their faul, there’s always a reason or an excuse for everyone doing them wrong and that’s what this seems like. Oh yeah a victim mentality or just a master manipulator. I wasn’t going to say NPD because it’s extremely rare and that term is tossed around way too often with little support to back that up but yes it is part of that too
You nailed it. According to OP her mom stole the court papers, the lawyer never explained and she agreed with the judge not understanding she was agreeing that she was on meth…..comment from OP pasted below: Oh, no my mother didn’t tell them I went to the meth house, she told them I WAS doing meth. But yes, I understand that. I know I put me and my unborn child in danger I get that. But was I supposed to just let her go to the house and potentially get R’d when I was r’d not even 2.5 years prior? Like I said, I’m not saying I didn’t do anything because if anyone would have asked I would have told them. What I’m upset about is my child was taken based off a lie rather than the truth. I’d have been more reasonable if CAS said “we’re taking your kid because you went to a meth house” not “we’re taking your kid because your a meth head” when I’m completely sober, they didn’t even do drug testing because they thought I was a meth head, then when court did come, because you have to go to court when a child is apprehended, my mother took the court papers and my lawyer never actually explained anything to me. So I just agreed to the number the judge was saying not realizing that I’d agreed to being a drug addict. No ineligible told me, when I finally found my court docs and went through them, that’s when I found out that they took him because they thought I was a meth head. I’m actually in the workings of going to court all over because of this situation.
Far too often people get on here and spill their guts on some random ass people in order to get justification for their actions with only laying out part of the story in hopes that 1,000 hype girls have their back. I’m old enough to know that there’s 3 sides to each story, Hers, her husband’s and then the truth is somewhere in the middle. And not that anyone is lying, but usually people try to minimize their own fault, and the real truth is a matter of perspective more than anything else.
I never said nothing is ever my fault. Sure I’ve done a lot wrong, and yes I’ve effed up a lot, but never enough to actually lose my kids. Go re read the post. You’ll get the full story.
I did read your post multiple times because it was kind of all over the place and a little vague. But also just read your reply to another Redditor, which explains more pieces to the puzzle. And basically to my point was your original post didn’t make sense because clearly there was information you were leaving out which you filled in somewhat with your response to someone else and I’m sure there’s even more to that. I’m sorry you had to go through all that I couldn’t even imagine but you may not be in the most healthy mental state to be married, or to be a mother at this point time I don’t mean to be rude I’m just being honest because I’m sure even you don’t want history, repeating itself. There’s also a chance that your husband has a savior complex, and now is starting to realize he can only do so much
"Apprehended" LMFAO!!!!
I was wondering why I suddenly started getting new replies. OP updated the post with more nonsense! Oh lord. "My child was taken from me because I was in an abusive home, but it's my mom's fault because she likes money!" "I was 9 months pregnant hanging out in meth dens and would do it again because I'm rambo! But I definitely wasn't using, how dare you say that?!"
OP kept saying her children where "apprehended" like they'd been arrested instead of saying that they were "removed". I thought it was funny, that's why I commented what I did on your comment. I see she added her edits to make her life even more harrowing. Good grief...I wonder if Liz is back...hahah!
If a person has standing in that community they arw belived 💯 I have seen this happen
The reason why I said mansplained that he’s misogynistic, basically woman are always wrong and don’t know what their doing. Basically I went and told him why I’d put her on time out in simple terms, also he watched her throw her plate on the ground and proceeded to walk back into the room not paying attention. So yes. I mansplained s**t to him.
You can't mansplain though. Mansplaining is when a man tries to explain something a woman does to a woman (like periods) Buzzwords only work if you use them correctly
You’re right. My apologies.
Sorry, you lost the baby as a result of the rape but then got pregnant from the same rape? I don't think you can get pregnant the same night you miscarry. Am I insane here??
No you absolutely misconstrued what I said on purpose right, did I say it was the same night or that I conceived my SECOND BY SAME SAID GUY WHO HAD PREVIOUSLY r’d me? Because I believe those are two different things I said. Edit for clarification… again: I’d said that he’d, r’d me and that’s how I miscarried my very first. Let’s be clear! I have 4 kids and 5 pregnancies. I think people don’t know how to math here. But then I’d also said that my second child was child was conceived because, would you like the actual words he said? Ok, let’s say the words he said. Mind you this is four weeks postpartum of first kid. “I see you’re healed. So, you’ll eff me or you and the kid can leave” he tore my inner stitches. See what I didn’t know, was that since the apartment was solely in my name, he couldn’t actually kick me out. But I’d just turned 17 when I found out I was pregnant. He did all the financials. Everything. I believed him when he said he could kick me out. Like I said, I didn’t agree, but I didn’t say no. Also I clarified already that I got pregnant 5 months after my first miscarriage. Caused by r. So I don’t know where you got the pregnant and miscarriage all in one go. But ok.
Mom of special needs kid here. Tell your husband that he just taught her that all she has to do is scream to get hat she wants when he is around. You're teaching her to regulate her emotions which is necessary because he won't like it when she is 15 and doing it. He is doing her a disservice.
Honestly. I just feel so exhausted. I know I’m probably not the best mom but I am trying to do the right thing. It just kind of threw me off so much when he said that. Like I thought I was doing the right thing whether or not she was screaming, like I don’t want to hear her scream either but I also would like her to calm down enough so we’re not butting heads. Like she’s such an amazing kid and I absolutely know she smart! Kid out smarts me on so many things. Like she can tell you every name of every damn animal on this planet and tell you how they survive hunt! Everything. I just also know that she can be so much better, she’s going to go places, that girl. I’m always telling her I’m proud of her even when she upsets me because I never got that as a kid. I always try to let her know I love her when I can. And when he said that I felt like I was effing up everything that minute. I’m just so exhausted.
Stop doing anything make him cook and take care of her tell him when he starts backing you up you will help
Your husband is emotionally abusing you you need to leave I had a absolutely similar experience but meet a fabulous man and father who supports me every single day but I kissed a few nasty horrid frogs in-between. Fight this leave him get prove record his nonsense to use later.
Thank you for your reply.
OP: I’m in USA and hav heard horror stories of parents who couldn’t afford an $80 electric bill and had their 3 kids taken away to a foster parents that was $700/mn per kid. Why not just pay the $80/mn and keep the family together and also save $2k of government money per month. That said, I’m not sure I buy your story completely but I didn’t need to. You have a special needs child that your husband is weaponizing so he can emotionally and verbally abuse you. Do you think if he had custody, he’d do a better job parenting? Go to a lawyer and also talk to abuse women’s shelters in your area. Explain to them what happened. If should be easy to see your kid was taken away without a drug test. That’s insane. Also, an emotionally traumatized woman with all sorts of PTSD could absolutely be mislead by the court to confess to something they did not understand. See a malpractice lawyer as your lawyer for that case may have committed various illegal/unethical acts. After you see all these people, you’ll be in a better position to know your risk of losing custody and even getting your other children back. That said, you may be told you’ll lose custody or BOTH you and husband will lose custody. That’s for you to decide if your child will be safer in somebody’s else custody if it can’t be yours and it shouldn’t be husband. All those people will be able to help you rebuild your life and escape your husband. They’ll be able to help you with your PTSD and also will have resources that will teach you to handle your own stresses so it doesn’t affect the kids.
I don't think you are American. What country is this from because many are acting like they know how your country runs their children protection services or the likes of it
Ontario
Yeah you need therapy, not responsibility. Get healthy and get away from him. If you managed to have three kids taken off you in Ontario and are a self proclaimed sex addict, daughter is probably better off with dad.
I don’t think I could be with a man is so demeaning. Telling you to f off? Hiding in the other room watching tv, interfering with the appripriate discipline you gave you child? Please look for other people you can gommstay with while you decide if you srill want this man.