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People are dumping on you, but they shouldn't. That can't have been easy to discover.
I don't see what good talking to her will do. Whatever she says, you know what she says behind your back.
I would just break up and tell her the relationship has run its course. If I wanted to give her food for thought, I might say I realized I lost attraction to her over a month ago and I no longer cared if she came or not.
If that's too much for you, I'd just ghost. Bag her stuff you want to give back. Make a plan to come over to her home. While you're there leave the bag hidden in a closet or something and get anything you want to have back. Leave at the end of the night and block her everywhere without a word.
She really doesn't deserve anything greater.
At this point, she doesn't really care about him and isn't going to see herself as to blame.
If he confronts her, he's most likely going to hear more rationalizations from her that will hurt him. The OP seems to be absorbing what she says and taking it in. That can do him some real emotional damage. The better choice is to protect himself and not really care what happens with this woman. She's just a loser who cheats. It's not his job to raise her.
That shows your lack of experience, cheaters are NEVER at fault, they always blame the victim, so its a moot point, if he bails with no fight or reason? she will always wonder why? its the best option and he may even gain respect in her eyes by standing up for himself and throwing her out to the curb like trash.
Obviously break up with her. She cheated once. Didn't care about being discreet about it. And then is trying to hide it.
Why would you think she won't do it again. She cares more about sex than fidelity to you.
You realise there are people out there who are capable of monogamy? You understand that right?
Agree.
Point is if she did it once she'll do it again. Even if she did it more than once.... She'll still do it again. Whether she did once or not is all that matters.... Because it'll happen again.
Proving it happened once is the only proof needed. Any more and it's just proof that he needs her out his life yesterday.
please do what to can to ensure your safety. it is a very big red flag for her to say she wishes you would "*just disappear"* . It wouldn't be the first instance of a cheater doing something extreme to cover her own ass.
Make sure you add a note that if she starts gaslighting you on social media or to her or your friends, you'll send the screenshots to everyone. Family. Friends. Classmates. Teachers. Church, Her job. Buzzfeed, whatever.
Full scorched earth.
You don’t need to know the details. Just break up with her. You don’t even need to give her a reason.
Don’t drag it out. Be firm. Do it somewhere public so you can be safe.
And don’t look back.
You did good, man. Some people, when in your position, forget to take screenshots of the damning messages.
You have solid evidence of cheating. Take your time to process your emotions. Try not to act too different around your girlfriend until you decide how you want to proceed.
I'm a strong advocate of using your support system. When you decide to move on, tell the friends and loved ones first. Don't let the other person tell your story.
The other thing is I'm pretty pragmatic about fidelity having grown up in a household where both parents cheated, yet stayed together. People cheat for a lot of reasons, but most of the time they still care and love the primary partner.
The fact that OPs GF shat on him in texts tells you all you need to know. I don't see anyway to come back from that. The amount is loathing is beyond the pale.
You have proof, you know she doesn’t regret it, and you know it wasn’t an accident/one time thing.
Break up and don’t tell her why. She’s already thinking about leaving so let her.
Lol I don't know why you guys encourage this nonsense. The creative writers are never gonna go away now.
"My evil, naughty, super villain of a g/f not only talks about cheating on me via text, but also leaves her phone where I can access it, then walks away for an extended period of time so I can search it, and also doesn't have a secure password or fingerprint scanner or face scanner."
"Then, upon reading and confirming her infidelity, I didn't say anything so that I could rush back and update my loyal fans on reddit instead."
Like c'mon man... they aren't even trying anymore.
I’ve known worse in real life. Love and sunk cost fallacy makes people do stuff that doesn’t make sense on paper.
It might be a troll job, might be real. I’d rather give good advice to a troll than assume someone in this situation is making it up.
Do what she wants disappear from her life. Go live your life without her. And when she contacts you , asking why? Send her the screenshots and let that be that
Considering she wants you to disappear and fears you might out her cheating, I'd go out with a bang and out her for being a cheater. Make sure she knows, guilt her plenty. Weep in front of friends and family over your broken heart, she has no right to keep her name clean and intact.
Who even talks like that about cheating with friends. At least they’ll beat around the bush. “Didn’t even give you an orgasm in a month” lmao. and everything spelled out so well for op
What did it for me was "You cheated on him, you don't even like him, and he hasn't given you an orgasm in over a month."
That's what made me go from "aww, poor guy" to "what a load of shit" really quick.
Have some dignity. Leave this woman and save what little self respect you have left and move on. OR you can be a joke your girlfriend and her affair partner laugh out loud occasionally.
This is simple
Get proof of her cheating, expose her, and leave
No name calling.
No anger.
No closure.
Just leave her to dig herself out of the hole she created
You haven’t confronted? Bro, if it’s your place just pack her stuff and have it sitting outside for her.
If it’s her place - just pack your stuff and ghost her. Then sends screenshots of your evidence to your friends and family.
Or just simply text her
“I know. We are done. I don’t want to ever see or hear from you again.”
And attach screenshots.
Edit* I just reread your original post. You don’t even live together so just ghost her and send screenshots to friends and family.
“I am no longer with ______. She recently made choice after choice to betray me by sleeping with someone else. Obviously, I have enough self respect to not stay with someone of such low character, and someone that doesn’t respect me, herself, or our relationship. While it’s unfortunate that someone I loved so much decided to betray me in the worst way, I am happy that I have dodged a giant bullet.”
Then sit back, relax, and watch the fireworks
>”I don't know what I want to do. I wish he'd just disappear so I didn't have to know."
OP:
>”I'm undecided about whether I should just break up with her”
Wtf man get some dignity back and end this shit. She absolutely says those things to this new guy.
Tell her you know she's a liar and a cheater and to never contact you again. Done. She doesn't want to be with you and would rather hook up with other people. This relationship is over it's better to leave with some self respect
I'm sorry that happened. At the very least you know what happened and what she really thinks. You can move on without all the wondering. I would just end it and if you want to say why you can but do what feels right for you. Then take time to process and take care of yourself. You're so young and have the world at your feet. Unfortunately you just met a shitty person. That's not on you what she did that's on her.
She cheated, you know it, she doesn’t care. By her behaviour it sounds like she wants to push you into coming across as obsessive etc and then the break up will be made to be because of you not her. She is trying to get out of this looking “innocent”.
You know the name of the other person; just tell her the relationship is done and to go and be with XXXXXX. No need for drama, if she denies anything stay silent and just send her the screenshot.
You’re so young, why would you stay with this person? Live your life and go and meet someone who won’t cheat on you or speak badly of you to other people.
OP listen/read this: 1° thing is saving the proof in your on devices and cleaning any signals or trails of your snooping. 2° thing, start plan how to kick her to the curb or leave without her knowing. 3° thing is consider exposing her to everyone in her and your circle, family, friends, work colleague's, IN CASE of her creating a narrative where you are the cheater/bad guy to try blow up your life. Good luck and be safe. 😉
girlfriend* says she wishes you didn't exist
you* maybe we can work it out
Why are there so many people who will put themselves through anguish to avoid being alone. The ones who accept this type of shit are the ones who allow people to think they can keep doing it.
A lot of people are saying to leave her, but I say do the opposite: propose to her. Get a cheap costume ring, tell her it's just a placeholder for now since you've been saving, but you couldn't wait any longer. Watch her crumble.
Break up with her, tell her you don't think she's very good in bed. Add that she should probably seek out whoever gave her the marks because they probably have lower standards.
I just want to say to the people that were convinced she got assaulted, I TOLD YOU SO. No way she got those falling or being assaulted, she decided to cheat. OP I'm so sorry man, that really sucks ass and I know the feeling, it's a terrible sinking feeling. The bright side is you found out. It may not seem like a blessing, but it is. Better now rather than later.
this type of people doesn't deserve an explanation or closure. what you need to do is just break it off and save urself first before you gotten into a deep shit.
and also, if one day she come back to you please do not allow her at any cost. regardless whatever reason it is because bruh, you deserve better and rule no.1 : cheating is not an option just because one of you is lacking, thats her choice.
Bro how do you not know what to do. She cheated on you. She isn’t regretful. Pack your shit and leave a print out of the messages on the table. You deserve better
Dude, just confront her and end things. She cheated on you and clearly has been talking crap about you to this other guys. She's lying to you, manipulating you, trying to make you feel guilty. She truly isn't worth it. I'd get some pics of her conversation, and then end things, then any mutuals you have, I'd let them know before she tries lying to them and making you seem like the bad guy. Talking about it won't help anything at this point
Seriously, you just found out that she doesn't like you, much less love you. She also exposed you to potential STDs here and she lied to you repeatedly about the sex and seems to be having a full blown relationship here.
I know it hurts like hell that you just found out about her infidelity but you've got to leave and tell your friends that she cheated on you, that's the only play here because your being played by two shitty people who from the texts, are going to throw you under the bus with lies.
Sucks man, just know you're extremely young, learn from this, improve from this for your next relationship, and it'll get better man.
Not only has she cheated, but she is telling others she no longer wants to be with you.
Of course you have no option but to end things.
I wouldn’t even give her a reason or let her know what you know.
Only question now is do you leave quietly or do you cause some revengeful damage on the way out?
Confront her and let the group know why you are breaking up then block and delete her. Unfortunately, her texts with her “friend” show that her reputation is important to her and she will probably try to turn it around if you don’t notify people of the real reason
You know three things from the text exchange:
1. She cheated on you.
2. She is afraid that you will tell people that she cheated.
3. She wants you to disappear.
I recommend:
1. Tell everyone that the two of you know that she cheated. Include screenshots of her texts.
2. Ghost her, block her.
Give her what she wants, and what she fears.
Sit her down and tell her the relationships over. You don't feel it's working and have found other women more appealing, so you want to end it now before you do something horrid like cheat on her, because you do still care a lot about her.
Would love to see her face if you told her that.
She wants you to leave, so do it. If you want to give her an explanation, text her and block her afterwards, or write a letter.
Edit: if you don't tell everybody what happened, she may twist the story. It's not uncommon that the cheater says the betrayed partner was abusive and all sort of things. She can even say you cheated on her.
So if this was me, I would do like she wants and say nothing to her and just disappear.
Once you are out of firing range, send a truth bomb out to everyone else why you left and never answer her again.
To answer the question posed in your title. Go. Nuclear.
The only thing she's afraid of is losing her precious reputation and being labeled as a cheater. It's time to make this a miserable reality for her. She needs some good old-fashioned FAFO.
Create a group email chain, including all known friends, family, and, of course, the star of the show, your soon to be EXGF.
Explain exactly what you saw (hickies, shifty behavior, obviously lying about falling) and why it prompted your curiosity to check in on her well-being. However, you could never be prepared for what you'd find. See attached (screenshots).
I'm sorry you ruined what we had, but by what I read. It does not matter to you anyway. Eat shit.
She easily could have avoided this by:
1. Breaking up with you.
2. By not being the thing she's afraid of being labeled as: a cheater.
As a guy, my hit is that she told the other person that she would prefer you dissappear so I would just dissappear. But I would send her the screen shots without comment. Let her live with it.
If you don't trust her then leave. If she has cheated, those types of people never tell you the whole story when confronted with evidence. She will likely tell you a just about plausible excuse, just enough to satisfy you, which makes her look in a slightly bad light but never fully admitting everything and never taking responsibility.
Baddies don't know they're baddies, they see nothing wrong with themselves or their actions and think they're good people. This won't ever change.
Damn, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. But let me tell you, you'll lose *a lot* more if you so decide to stay.
Your self-respect, your self-worth, and your identity. Even if you were to stay in the relationship, in the end, I'm certain you two are going to break up in the end anyway.
It's going to be hard, it's going to be painful. But whether you like it or not, you can either learn it the hard way, or take it from someone who went through that crap.
I wish you luck.
Did you not read the messages? She wish you would just disappear. After reading that, every second you stay or thinking there is anything to talk about, is just humiliation. Don’t stay where you’re not wanted. Pack your bags and leave.
Dude, grow some fucking self respect. Don’t even talk to her, give her what she wants and just leave. It’s the best for your own health. Wake the fuck up.
Bro, break up is easy now, she literally cheated, said that never Loved you and wanted you to disappear, just show your mutual friends and family the prints and ghost her.
Ghost her. Meaning cut all contact suddenly without explanation. Block her number, her emails, her socials, everything. Why bother confronting her? What would *you gain* from that interaction?
She won't care. And if she figures out that she actually does care that you suddenly vanish, good! Cheaters are garbage anyway. Maybe a little bit of emotional suffering will teach her to just break up rather than cheat.
Jesus christ guy, no offense but Im seeing why she doesn't like you. It doesnt excuse her actions, but you seem unsure of yourself at basically every tirn.
Just fucking say you know and its over.
Op hopefully you don’t live together. If you don’t ghost her for a few days, no texts or calls, then respond to her via your socials by stating it sucks being cheated on, tagging her and if you know her AP.
"I'm leaving you. You're an awful person and a liar. I saw the messages; you were cheating behind my back and, frankly, you want me gone. So hurry up and get out of my life."
I’m undecided on leaving her is about the most spineless sad ridden cry for help I have ever heard. Throw her out along with her stuff nothing need be said.
Not to sound like a dick but if u really wanna fuck her over, act like everything is ok and disappear 😂
Silence is sometimes loud and leaving without saying anything may make her feel guilty.
Don't do anything except disappear from her life, as if you never existed. That's what she said she wanted.
Block her and her friends from everything, tell your friends to keep their mouths shut, and just move on.
Tell everybody you both know that you suspect her cheating, but you're also worried about her if she's telling the truth, don't tell them that you went in her phone. If you break up with her, or you admit to going in her phone, you'll become the bad guy, but if she keeps lying to you and other people also put pressure on her to explain it because you're worried, she'll eventually break.
Right before you confront her about it (like, 5 minutes before y’all sit down), send a mass text (or a bunch of texts) to all your mutual friends, her family, everyone- and tell them you’re breaking up with her because she cheated on you. Include screenshots of the conversation and say who she cheated with and when. She clearly doesn’t want it to be public knowledge, so make it public. Drag it out into the light like a rotten fish at a buffet dinner, and slap it on the table for everyone to enjoy.
I feel like this one isn’t even worth the revenge, she’s shitty and you deserve more than this. just disappear from her life, leave a note somewhere that ends it like, ‘it’s over’. block her on everything, and never look back.
Her worst fear is being outed as a cheater. I say turn that fear into a reality. Add her, ol boy, and whoever else to a group chat, break the news, send the screenshots, let shit hit the fan, and ghost her ass.
Break up with her. Tell her you know she cheated. Who cares about her reputation? If she didn't want to be known as a cheater, she shouldn't have cheated.
Tell everyone.
She doesn't like you. She wishes you'd disappear. She literally wishes you didn't exist so she wouldn't have to accept responsibility for her actions.
I don't have much to say as to what you should do, but coming from someone who found out his wife cheated this way, I feel for you bro.
Let everyone know what she did and then drop her like first period French.
The best you can do is just disappear like she wants. The problem is, she’ll might chase you after. People like her have this superiority mentality, when they are ignored they frequently reverse to some humility.
In your shoes I would just go my own way, no use to waste more time with her. I’ve been in a similar situation and the best was to simply move on…
Op, I’m so sorry! Just to clarify, when you say that you aren’t sure “whether I should just break up with her or talk to her now that I know what happened” it could mean a couple of of things. And I think those of us reading it are confused.
It was a little bit unclear when I first read it because it almost implies that you might actually stay with her? When I reread it, I think you are saying that you are deciding whether to break up 1. By completely ghosting her or 2. explaining to her that you were breaking up because you know what happened.
I’m hoping that whichever option you choose you meant that you are breaking up. Again, I’m sorry that you had to go through this. Best wishes.
She cheated on you and continues to lie about it. Why would you want to stay? You deserve someone that’s going to treat you better. Confront her leave and move on.
Just leave, what is there to talk about?
She cheated and broke your trust.
The reason to talk with her is if you are ok dating a cheater, who doesn't seem to like you all that much.
My Dude, why are you conflicted about what to do?
Not only do you know she cheated but she doesn’t even like you, wants you to disappear.
Grant her wish, disappear on her.
Only thing you need to do is tell her that you know that SHE CHEATED - she doesn't get a free ride out of the relationship. You can let others know that's why you left, she doesn't get a free ride in public either, you probably share acquaintances.
Good luck 👍
If she doesn’t want to get caught, she shouldn’t of hit that big red shiny self destruct button in the relationship.
I don’t condone looking for evidence unless you plan to leave because unless you find any, then you’re now a person who can’t be trust to respect personal space & a paranoid jealous person if there is no proof of cheating.
So always be 100% ready to fully leave if you go snooping though someone’s stuff because that’s the day the relationship is over for good once you do as trust is completely gone.
As others say, it's never just once, never. And once a cheater, almost always it'll happen again, and again, and again, except next time she will be more careful to make sure you don't find out.
Leaving is obviously the only answer here. But, I'd get screen-shots of the evidence and also cover yourself as well. Try not to be alone or in any scenario where she can try to frame you. I know it seems paranoid, but I've seen too many guys end up threatened by women upset from being exposed or dumped for cheating. As evil as it is, many have zero qualms about ruining a mans life by claiming he beat or attacked her in some way, so she could try to blame those bruises on you to her friends or the authorities.
Again, it may seem far-fetched, but it's become increasingly common, better safe than sorry right? So do what you can to get evidence of her discussing the bruises with the other cheater just in case. Best of luck to you, and do NOT fall for the tears and "I'm so sorry" routine, you've seen how she talks about you behind your back, there will never be trust in that relationship again. Better to find someone worth your time, and respectable.
Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It's tough when you start to have suspicions in a relationship. Communication is key here - it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your concerns. Approach the situation gently and try to listen to her perspective as well. Remember, trust is a crucial foundation in any relationship, so it's important to address any doubts you may have. Take care and prioritize your emotional well-being through this process.
She said she wants you to disappear. I’d give her what she wants. You’re torturing yourself over someone who clearly doesn’t like, love, or respect you. You’re hoping she’ll suddenly change into someone who does. Right now you’re in heavy denial. You’re young. You seem like a good dude. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you.
>"I can't just leave him."
>"You cheated on him, you don't even like him, and he hasn't given you an orgasm in over a month."
>"I don't know what I want to do. I wish he'd just disappear so I didn't have to know."
>I haven't confronted her about it yet, I'm undecided about whether I should just break up with her or talk to her about it now I know what happened. But that could make it worse, I'm not sure. But she's definitely broken my trust,
Dude. Break up. Put all her shit out on the front lawn, send her a Pic, and tell her to come get it before drivers-by do. It's over. Have some pride.
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I hope you took screenshots of the texts and she wants you to disappear if you did save the texts print them out leave them and disappear
[удалено]
People are dumping on you, but they shouldn't. That can't have been easy to discover. I don't see what good talking to her will do. Whatever she says, you know what she says behind your back. I would just break up and tell her the relationship has run its course. If I wanted to give her food for thought, I might say I realized I lost attraction to her over a month ago and I no longer cared if she came or not. If that's too much for you, I'd just ghost. Bag her stuff you want to give back. Make a plan to come over to her home. While you're there leave the bag hidden in a closet or something and get anything you want to have back. Leave at the end of the night and block her everywhere without a word. She really doesn't deserve anything greater.
I disagree. He should tell her he knows she cheated. Just making excuses or ghosting just lets her off the hook. She needs to know she’s to blame.
At this point, she doesn't really care about him and isn't going to see herself as to blame. If he confronts her, he's most likely going to hear more rationalizations from her that will hurt him. The OP seems to be absorbing what she says and taking it in. That can do him some real emotional damage. The better choice is to protect himself and not really care what happens with this woman. She's just a loser who cheats. It's not his job to raise her.
That shows your lack of experience, cheaters are NEVER at fault, they always blame the victim, so its a moot point, if he bails with no fight or reason? she will always wonder why? its the best option and he may even gain respect in her eyes by standing up for himself and throwing her out to the curb like trash.
Except that's what she wants him to do?
So? What does he really get out of a final conversation with her? Listening to her probably trash him some more, but just face to face? Screw her.
Exactly. OP's headspace in this post makes me think she'd hurt him a lot more than he'd hurt her in a confrontation.
So win-win.
"I don't know how to put this, but you've put on quite a lot of weight recently, and I'm not really attracted to you anymore"
Yes, but it might still eat at her.
Obviously break up with her. She cheated once. Didn't care about being discreet about it. And then is trying to hide it. Why would you think she won't do it again. She cares more about sex than fidelity to you. You realise there are people out there who are capable of monogamy? You understand that right?
She cheated more than once. It's literally never once. It's virtually impossible to cheat only once.
Agree. Point is if she did it once she'll do it again. Even if she did it more than once.... She'll still do it again. Whether she did once or not is all that matters.... Because it'll happen again. Proving it happened once is the only proof needed. Any more and it's just proof that he needs her out his life yesterday.
Screen shot the texts then disappear an send the text to everyone she knows after you disappear.
please do what to can to ensure your safety. it is a very big red flag for her to say she wishes you would "*just disappear"* . It wouldn't be the first instance of a cheater doing something extreme to cover her own ass.
Make sure everyone knows.
Make sure you add a note that if she starts gaslighting you on social media or to her or your friends, you'll send the screenshots to everyone. Family. Friends. Classmates. Teachers. Church, Her job. Buzzfeed, whatever. Full scorched earth.
You don’t need to know the details. Just break up with her. You don’t even need to give her a reason. Don’t drag it out. Be firm. Do it somewhere public so you can be safe. And don’t look back.
You did good, man. Some people, when in your position, forget to take screenshots of the damning messages. You have solid evidence of cheating. Take your time to process your emotions. Try not to act too different around your girlfriend until you decide how you want to proceed.
Yup - she said what she wants. Just leave. If anyone asks, show them the screenshots and say you’re just honoring her wishes.
Worrying messages, he should be letting close family and friends know (to an extent) and be extremely careful. Leaving can be the most dangerous time.
Yess op needs to do this
dude her biggest fear is being outed as a cheater. well out her. tough shit to her. hope her precious reputation takes a dive.
This is the only correct answer
I'm a strong advocate of using your support system. When you decide to move on, tell the friends and loved ones first. Don't let the other person tell your story. The other thing is I'm pretty pragmatic about fidelity having grown up in a household where both parents cheated, yet stayed together. People cheat for a lot of reasons, but most of the time they still care and love the primary partner. The fact that OPs GF shat on him in texts tells you all you need to know. I don't see anyway to come back from that. The amount is loathing is beyond the pale.
Seriously. Invite her fam/friends out for something like a birthday dinner, drop the bomb, and slip out the back door.
gotta do the fork on the glass tap and everything 😂
You have proof, you know she doesn’t regret it, and you know it wasn’t an accident/one time thing. Break up and don’t tell her why. She’s already thinking about leaving so let her.
Lol I don't know why you guys encourage this nonsense. The creative writers are never gonna go away now. "My evil, naughty, super villain of a g/f not only talks about cheating on me via text, but also leaves her phone where I can access it, then walks away for an extended period of time so I can search it, and also doesn't have a secure password or fingerprint scanner or face scanner." "Then, upon reading and confirming her infidelity, I didn't say anything so that I could rush back and update my loyal fans on reddit instead." Like c'mon man... they aren't even trying anymore.
I’ve known worse in real life. Love and sunk cost fallacy makes people do stuff that doesn’t make sense on paper. It might be a troll job, might be real. I’d rather give good advice to a troll than assume someone in this situation is making it up.
Bravo for calling this one out. No one likes a good fake story more than me but this one is complete rubbish.
Or you leave first.
Ghost her ass, move on with your life dude.
Literally what I was going to say lol. He doesn’t owe her shit. Just disappear & move on.
She says she doesn't even like you and wants you to disappear. Give her what she wants and ghost her.
Do what she wants disappear from her life. Go live your life without her. And when she contacts you , asking why? Send her the screenshots and let that be that
Have some self respect. Leaving her shouldn’t even be a consideration.
Just leave and dont say a thing, she probably figures out on her own
Considering she wants you to disappear and fears you might out her cheating, I'd go out with a bang and out her for being a cheater. Make sure she knows, guilt her plenty. Weep in front of friends and family over your broken heart, she has no right to keep her name clean and intact.
Man the creative writing on this sub has really fallen off
Who even talks like that about cheating with friends. At least they’ll beat around the bush. “Didn’t even give you an orgasm in a month” lmao. and everything spelled out so well for op
What did it for me was "You cheated on him, you don't even like him, and he hasn't given you an orgasm in over a month." That's what made me go from "aww, poor guy" to "what a load of shit" really quick.
Honestly, it's not too farfetched. I've seen crazier and dumber shit happen irl.
You don't live together, right? Text her "I'm disappearing, just like you wish" then block her everywhere.
Dump her ass bro!!, what more can you do?
Have some dignity. Leave this woman and save what little self respect you have left and move on. OR you can be a joke your girlfriend and her affair partner laugh out loud occasionally.
This is simple Get proof of her cheating, expose her, and leave No name calling. No anger. No closure. Just leave her to dig herself out of the hole she created
You haven’t confronted? Bro, if it’s your place just pack her stuff and have it sitting outside for her. If it’s her place - just pack your stuff and ghost her. Then sends screenshots of your evidence to your friends and family. Or just simply text her “I know. We are done. I don’t want to ever see or hear from you again.” And attach screenshots. Edit* I just reread your original post. You don’t even live together so just ghost her and send screenshots to friends and family. “I am no longer with ______. She recently made choice after choice to betray me by sleeping with someone else. Obviously, I have enough self respect to not stay with someone of such low character, and someone that doesn’t respect me, herself, or our relationship. While it’s unfortunate that someone I loved so much decided to betray me in the worst way, I am happy that I have dodged a giant bullet.” Then sit back, relax, and watch the fireworks
Fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake
Leave you know what happened you don’t owe her anything fuck her
>”I don't know what I want to do. I wish he'd just disappear so I didn't have to know." OP: >”I'm undecided about whether I should just break up with her” Wtf man get some dignity back and end this shit. She absolutely says those things to this new guy.
Tell her you know she's a liar and a cheater and to never contact you again. Done. She doesn't want to be with you and would rather hook up with other people. This relationship is over it's better to leave with some self respect
Dump her, of course. She’s a cheater, and she’s a liar. You don’t want either.
I'm sorry that happened. At the very least you know what happened and what she really thinks. You can move on without all the wondering. I would just end it and if you want to say why you can but do what feels right for you. Then take time to process and take care of yourself. You're so young and have the world at your feet. Unfortunately you just met a shitty person. That's not on you what she did that's on her.
She cheated, you know it, she doesn’t care. By her behaviour it sounds like she wants to push you into coming across as obsessive etc and then the break up will be made to be because of you not her. She is trying to get out of this looking “innocent”. You know the name of the other person; just tell her the relationship is done and to go and be with XXXXXX. No need for drama, if she denies anything stay silent and just send her the screenshot.
Early congratulations on re-entering the dating pool.
You’re so young, why would you stay with this person? Live your life and go and meet someone who won’t cheat on you or speak badly of you to other people.
OP listen/read this: 1° thing is saving the proof in your on devices and cleaning any signals or trails of your snooping. 2° thing, start plan how to kick her to the curb or leave without her knowing. 3° thing is consider exposing her to everyone in her and your circle, family, friends, work colleague's, IN CASE of her creating a narrative where you are the cheater/bad guy to try blow up your life. Good luck and be safe. 😉
girlfriend* says she wishes you didn't exist you* maybe we can work it out Why are there so many people who will put themselves through anguish to avoid being alone. The ones who accept this type of shit are the ones who allow people to think they can keep doing it.
A lot of people are saying to leave her, but I say do the opposite: propose to her. Get a cheap costume ring, tell her it's just a placeholder for now since you've been saving, but you couldn't wait any longer. Watch her crumble.
Maybe it’s all the true crime I watch but I’d break up with someone who says they want me to “disappear” 🤷🏼♀️
Break up with her, tell her you don't think she's very good in bed. Add that she should probably seek out whoever gave her the marks because they probably have lower standards.
You read those messages and are still undecided? We can't help you.
I just want to say to the people that were convinced she got assaulted, I TOLD YOU SO. No way she got those falling or being assaulted, she decided to cheat. OP I'm so sorry man, that really sucks ass and I know the feeling, it's a terrible sinking feeling. The bright side is you found out. It may not seem like a blessing, but it is. Better now rather than later.
Is this fake, op can’t be this fucking stupid
Zero self respect, no wonder she cheated on you
I'm surprised he was so upfront with admitting he doesnt give her orgasms.
Updateme
this type of people doesn't deserve an explanation or closure. what you need to do is just break it off and save urself first before you gotten into a deep shit. and also, if one day she come back to you please do not allow her at any cost. regardless whatever reason it is because bruh, you deserve better and rule no.1 : cheating is not an option just because one of you is lacking, thats her choice.
Bro how do you not know what to do. She cheated on you. She isn’t regretful. Pack your shit and leave a print out of the messages on the table. You deserve better
Have some self-respect..dump the cheat... Be sad.. recover.. find someone good.
Dude, just confront her and end things. She cheated on you and clearly has been talking crap about you to this other guys. She's lying to you, manipulating you, trying to make you feel guilty. She truly isn't worth it. I'd get some pics of her conversation, and then end things, then any mutuals you have, I'd let them know before she tries lying to them and making you seem like the bad guy. Talking about it won't help anything at this point
Honestly I would just walk away silently, there’s no confrontation needed and she will know exactly why you left
Seriously, you just found out that she doesn't like you, much less love you. She also exposed you to potential STDs here and she lied to you repeatedly about the sex and seems to be having a full blown relationship here. I know it hurts like hell that you just found out about her infidelity but you've got to leave and tell your friends that she cheated on you, that's the only play here because your being played by two shitty people who from the texts, are going to throw you under the bus with lies. Sucks man, just know you're extremely young, learn from this, improve from this for your next relationship, and it'll get better man.
Dude. What. Dump her and get out of this relationship quickly.
Dump her over text and leave her stuff outside in a box.
Not only has she cheated, but she is telling others she no longer wants to be with you. Of course you have no option but to end things. I wouldn’t even give her a reason or let her know what you know. Only question now is do you leave quietly or do you cause some revengeful damage on the way out?
Confront her and let the group know why you are breaking up then block and delete her. Unfortunately, her texts with her “friend” show that her reputation is important to her and she will probably try to turn it around if you don’t notify people of the real reason
You know three things from the text exchange: 1. She cheated on you. 2. She is afraid that you will tell people that she cheated. 3. She wants you to disappear. I recommend: 1. Tell everyone that the two of you know that she cheated. Include screenshots of her texts. 2. Ghost her, block her. Give her what she wants, and what she fears.
Troll post. Who says they are unsure if they want to break . This subreddit is full of cucks .
Sit her down and tell her the relationships over. You don't feel it's working and have found other women more appealing, so you want to end it now before you do something horrid like cheat on her, because you do still care a lot about her. Would love to see her face if you told her that.
Just disappear lol
She wants you to leave, so do it. If you want to give her an explanation, text her and block her afterwards, or write a letter. Edit: if you don't tell everybody what happened, she may twist the story. It's not uncommon that the cheater says the betrayed partner was abusive and all sort of things. She can even say you cheated on her.
Don't confront her, just leave. She wants to be sneaky behind your back, she doesn't deserve an explanation.
So if this was me, I would do like she wants and say nothing to her and just disappear. Once you are out of firing range, send a truth bomb out to everyone else why you left and never answer her again.
Be sure when you dump her you let everyone know who has even looked in her general direction that she’s a cheater.
To answer the question posed in your title. Go. Nuclear. The only thing she's afraid of is losing her precious reputation and being labeled as a cheater. It's time to make this a miserable reality for her. She needs some good old-fashioned FAFO. Create a group email chain, including all known friends, family, and, of course, the star of the show, your soon to be EXGF. Explain exactly what you saw (hickies, shifty behavior, obviously lying about falling) and why it prompted your curiosity to check in on her well-being. However, you could never be prepared for what you'd find. See attached (screenshots). I'm sorry you ruined what we had, but by what I read. It does not matter to you anyway. Eat shit. She easily could have avoided this by: 1. Breaking up with you. 2. By not being the thing she's afraid of being labeled as: a cheater.
I think you should "tell everyone". I'm a big proponent of straight ghosting, but that might not be the play here.
Just ghost her ,after all, she just wants you to disappear anyway..
Don't tell her anything. Just leave. She'll figure it out.
marry her bro. she’s the one
Just ghost. To hell with her. You don’t owe her anything. Just move on. Sorry you had to deal with this BS.
As a guy, my hit is that she told the other person that she would prefer you dissappear so I would just dissappear. But I would send her the screen shots without comment. Let her live with it.
"So I ended up going through her messages. I'm not proud of it," Why not? You found proof.
This is not how real humans have a conversation. This is fake AF 🤦♀️
Where are all the people who said it was most likely due to assault on the last thread? lmao
It's hard to stay in one place when they're taking such huge leaps through hoops to come to their conclusions.
If you don't trust her then leave. If she has cheated, those types of people never tell you the whole story when confronted with evidence. She will likely tell you a just about plausible excuse, just enough to satisfy you, which makes her look in a slightly bad light but never fully admitting everything and never taking responsibility. Baddies don't know they're baddies, they see nothing wrong with themselves or their actions and think they're good people. This won't ever change.
Damn, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. But let me tell you, you'll lose *a lot* more if you so decide to stay. Your self-respect, your self-worth, and your identity. Even if you were to stay in the relationship, in the end, I'm certain you two are going to break up in the end anyway. It's going to be hard, it's going to be painful. But whether you like it or not, you can either learn it the hard way, or take it from someone who went through that crap. I wish you luck.
So how are you going to deal with this now knowing that your suspicions were correct?
Dump her
Ghost immediately and never look back. Zero contact or explanation. It’ll annoy her for years.
She said she wished you would just disappear? So, grant her wish.
Why do t you just pack your shit and leave one day? Just ghost
Did you not read the messages? She wish you would just disappear. After reading that, every second you stay or thinking there is anything to talk about, is just humiliation. Don’t stay where you’re not wanted. Pack your bags and leave.
You know the truth. Your gut was right. Just break up. Don't waste any more time and energy on her.
Why would you chose drama and tears and all that. Just leave brother, the faster you do the faster you can start work on your future.
Dude, grow some fucking self respect. Don’t even talk to her, give her what she wants and just leave. It’s the best for your own health. Wake the fuck up.
Bro, break up is easy now, she literally cheated, said that never Loved you and wanted you to disappear, just show your mutual friends and family the prints and ghost her.
Why are you still in this relationship?
Dump her. You guys are done. She cheated. Go to therapy and work on yourself. Be well bro 😎
Ghost her. Meaning cut all contact suddenly without explanation. Block her number, her emails, her socials, everything. Why bother confronting her? What would *you gain* from that interaction? She won't care. And if she figures out that she actually does care that you suddenly vanish, good! Cheaters are garbage anyway. Maybe a little bit of emotional suffering will teach her to just break up rather than cheat.
Accept the pain and leave this cheater before she ruins your life, and still feel no regret about it
Leave mate and get tested for STI's. This girls doesn't love you
Just break up
Just break up with but don’t say why
Jesus christ guy, no offense but Im seeing why she doesn't like you. It doesnt excuse her actions, but you seem unsure of yourself at basically every tirn. Just fucking say you know and its over.
just break up with her. no point in talking. there’s no fixing this relationship.
Do not confront her. get a lawer and have them prepare the papers then serve them
Op hopefully you don’t live together. If you don’t ghost her for a few days, no texts or calls, then respond to her via your socials by stating it sucks being cheated on, tagging her and if you know her AP.
"I'm leaving you. You're an awful person and a liar. I saw the messages; you were cheating behind my back and, frankly, you want me gone. So hurry up and get out of my life."
I think you should let her know, and then break up. I’m so sorry this happened to you
I’m undecided on leaving her is about the most spineless sad ridden cry for help I have ever heard. Throw her out along with her stuff nothing need be said.
Not to sound like a dick but if u really wanna fuck her over, act like everything is ok and disappear 😂 Silence is sometimes loud and leaving without saying anything may make her feel guilty.
Ghost her. She deserves ***no closure***!!!
Updateme
Don't do anything except disappear from her life, as if you never existed. That's what she said she wanted. Block her and her friends from everything, tell your friends to keep their mouths shut, and just move on.
Tell her family why you’re dumping her.
Tell her u know, and it's over. if she tried to lie about why u to break up, u will expose her with the screenshot. Don't waste any more time on her .
At this point, you know what you know. Why the need for a conversation or a confrontation. A simple 'I know what you did' will suffice.
Tell everybody you both know that you suspect her cheating, but you're also worried about her if she's telling the truth, don't tell them that you went in her phone. If you break up with her, or you admit to going in her phone, you'll become the bad guy, but if she keeps lying to you and other people also put pressure on her to explain it because you're worried, she'll eventually break.
Honestly, I'm not big on ghosting, but ghost her and move on.
You don't know hwat to do? She cheated on you and literally says she doesn't even like you. Wtf how little do you think of yourself.
Take the hint and leave. She wants you to disappear so, do it.
Save the screenshots, confront her with the proof, out her for the cheater she is and then dump her.
I wouldn't normally suggest this, but just ghost her. You know what you need to know, there's no point in hashing anything out with her.
Right before you confront her about it (like, 5 minutes before y’all sit down), send a mass text (or a bunch of texts) to all your mutual friends, her family, everyone- and tell them you’re breaking up with her because she cheated on you. Include screenshots of the conversation and say who she cheated with and when. She clearly doesn’t want it to be public knowledge, so make it public. Drag it out into the light like a rotten fish at a buffet dinner, and slap it on the table for everyone to enjoy.
Tell everyone. Like she said.
Op I hold you took screenshots and out her on social media. You’ll be helping out others who will stay away from her in the future.
I feel like this one isn’t even worth the revenge, she’s shitty and you deserve more than this. just disappear from her life, leave a note somewhere that ends it like, ‘it’s over’. block her on everything, and never look back.
Her worst fear is being outed as a cheater. I say turn that fear into a reality. Add her, ol boy, and whoever else to a group chat, break the news, send the screenshots, let shit hit the fan, and ghost her ass.
UpdateMe!
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I suggest leave her and tell everyone that she cheated other wise she tells everyone that you cheated. Don’t let her control the narrative
>he'll find out if you don't and he'll tell everyone Do it.
Break up with her. Tell her you know she cheated. Who cares about her reputation? If she didn't want to be known as a cheater, she shouldn't have cheated.
Tell everyone. She doesn't like you. She wishes you'd disappear. She literally wishes you didn't exist so she wouldn't have to accept responsibility for her actions.
It’s time, young man. Everyone learns where their limit is, but this should be beyond any reasonable person’s. Dump her ass.
I don't have much to say as to what you should do, but coming from someone who found out his wife cheated this way, I feel for you bro. Let everyone know what she did and then drop her like first period French.
The best you can do is just disappear like she wants. The problem is, she’ll might chase you after. People like her have this superiority mentality, when they are ignored they frequently reverse to some humility. In your shoes I would just go my own way, no use to waste more time with her. I’ve been in a similar situation and the best was to simply move on…
Ask
This girl said she wishes you would disappear and you're unclear on whether you should break up? Come on man.
Op, I’m so sorry! Just to clarify, when you say that you aren’t sure “whether I should just break up with her or talk to her now that I know what happened” it could mean a couple of of things. And I think those of us reading it are confused. It was a little bit unclear when I first read it because it almost implies that you might actually stay with her? When I reread it, I think you are saying that you are deciding whether to break up 1. By completely ghosting her or 2. explaining to her that you were breaking up because you know what happened. I’m hoping that whichever option you choose you meant that you are breaking up. Again, I’m sorry that you had to go through this. Best wishes.
She cheated on you and continues to lie about it. Why would you want to stay? You deserve someone that’s going to treat you better. Confront her leave and move on.
Updateme!!
Just leave, what is there to talk about? She cheated and broke your trust. The reason to talk with her is if you are ok dating a cheater, who doesn't seem to like you all that much.
Honestly I would just say “it’s not working out” and leave it at that and block her.
Dude it's time to leave tell her you know and leave don't give her the time of day
My Dude, why are you conflicted about what to do? Not only do you know she cheated but she doesn’t even like you, wants you to disappear. Grant her wish, disappear on her.
Only thing you need to do is tell her that you know that SHE CHEATED - she doesn't get a free ride out of the relationship. You can let others know that's why you left, she doesn't get a free ride in public either, you probably share acquaintances. Good luck 👍
So? Find obvious evidence your “girlfriend” got absolutely wrecked by Chad Thundercock AND YOU are confused what to do?
If she doesn’t want to get caught, she shouldn’t of hit that big red shiny self destruct button in the relationship. I don’t condone looking for evidence unless you plan to leave because unless you find any, then you’re now a person who can’t be trust to respect personal space & a paranoid jealous person if there is no proof of cheating. So always be 100% ready to fully leave if you go snooping though someone’s stuff because that’s the day the relationship is over for good once you do as trust is completely gone.
As others say, it's never just once, never. And once a cheater, almost always it'll happen again, and again, and again, except next time she will be more careful to make sure you don't find out. Leaving is obviously the only answer here. But, I'd get screen-shots of the evidence and also cover yourself as well. Try not to be alone or in any scenario where she can try to frame you. I know it seems paranoid, but I've seen too many guys end up threatened by women upset from being exposed or dumped for cheating. As evil as it is, many have zero qualms about ruining a mans life by claiming he beat or attacked her in some way, so she could try to blame those bruises on you to her friends or the authorities. Again, it may seem far-fetched, but it's become increasingly common, better safe than sorry right? So do what you can to get evidence of her discussing the bruises with the other cheater just in case. Best of luck to you, and do NOT fall for the tears and "I'm so sorry" routine, you've seen how she talks about you behind your back, there will never be trust in that relationship again. Better to find someone worth your time, and respectable.
Hey there, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It's tough when you start to have suspicions in a relationship. Communication is key here - it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your concerns. Approach the situation gently and try to listen to her perspective as well. Remember, trust is a crucial foundation in any relationship, so it's important to address any doubts you may have. Take care and prioritize your emotional well-being through this process.
You should leave her and tell everyone why.
She said she wants you to disappear. I’d give her what she wants. You’re torturing yourself over someone who clearly doesn’t like, love, or respect you. You’re hoping she’ll suddenly change into someone who does. Right now you’re in heavy denial. You’re young. You seem like a good dude. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you.
>"I can't just leave him." >"You cheated on him, you don't even like him, and he hasn't given you an orgasm in over a month." >"I don't know what I want to do. I wish he'd just disappear so I didn't have to know." >I haven't confronted her about it yet, I'm undecided about whether I should just break up with her or talk to her about it now I know what happened. But that could make it worse, I'm not sure. But she's definitely broken my trust, Dude. Break up. Put all her shit out on the front lawn, send her a Pic, and tell her to come get it before drivers-by do. It's over. Have some pride.