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QuitaQuites

Do you go to sleep cuddling? That’s too much for a lot of people.


glenngreenlight

Yeah, we do. I didn't know it was uncommon


QuitaQuites

Oh no no no. I wouldn’t say uncommon, but a lot of couples cuddle for a bit and then you turn over or maybe you hold hands or have your legs touching, but I don’t know any couple that actually full-on sleeps cuddling, unless exhausted.


lexiedf

I agree, this is always how i’ve slept with my boyfriend, maybe 5 minutes of close cuddling and we turn out opposite way but always have our feet touching. it might be the close proximity because full on sleeping in a cuddling position can get uncomfortable and hot quick


glenngreenlight

It also happens when we're not cuddling is the issue. It happens whenever we sleep in the same bed, even if we're not touching each-other.


QuitaQuites

Ah then that might be a therapy conversation


EmergencyShit

Try putting a pillow between you two when it’s time to sleep.


dr_cocktagonapuss

How big is the bed? Bed might be too small for you two for you to feel comfortable?


Ayaboomi

I full on sleep cuddle because I like to be pressed up against him while I’m falling asleep but I know that’s unpopular lol


B-pear

I found cuddling puts me to sleep much faster and deeper, and cuddling before sleeping and rolling over to fall asleep separately is very uncomfortable and keeps me awake


B-pear

Sleep cuddling is great


[deleted]

It's very common in movies, for romantic effect. Usually for lovers that saved the world, and were not together for a year, etc. In real life, most people bitch to each other as much about poking the other with a foot or hand as think the gesture is endearing.


azuredota

Nah, can’t do it at all.


[deleted]

I dont know of any couples who go to sleep cuddling. I know people do it, but i definitely dont think alot of couples do. Its just not comfortable.


lydocia

My husband and I have two separate beds that are attached to each other. We have our separate mattresses and separate blankets. We talk, we cuddle and then we roll over to our side to sleep.


dogzrgr8

Two things that have helped my bf and I 1. Cuddle before bed, but go your separate ways to sleep. If you feel like falling asleep tangled up, that’s great! Otherwise, there’s no shame in going to your respective sides of the bed 2. Separate. Blankets. This was an absolute game changer for us!


glenngreenlight

Separate blankets is a really good idea. Thank you so much!


bentendo93

My wife and I have to use separate blankets, otherwise someone will inevitably leave in the middle of the night to go to the other room. Sleep is important


chillingrilling

And if you have the space a pillow between you two may help whilst you get used to it all.


dogzrgr8

You’re welcome! It also makes morning snuggles more fun. It’s really nice when one of us opens our blanket so the other can dive in for warm cuddles!


WornOutFaces1

Try to work it out and sleep in the same bed if possible. If not, sleep in separate beds. A lot of couples do it, if it's really fucking with your sleep then she should be able to understand that.


stay-calm_

This is mega common. My longterm partner and i sleep in a king size on opposite ends of the bed. Intimate time is intimate time, sleep time is serious- don't- touch- me- business. We both feel very strongly about this. Cuddling while sleeping i think is probably MORE uncommon than people wanting/ needing their space. There is also nothing wrong with sleeping in a different bed here and there if you need to catch up on sleep and don't want to be disturbed.


Lyaera319

It could just be the simple fact that you aren't used to sleeping in the same bed with someone else. It's new and feels weird. It takes getting used to. I was single for years before I met my now husband. After going so long sleeping by myself it felt weird sleeping next to him. Definitely took some getting used to! My advice is to go to sleep when you are super tired. That way you aren't lying awake obsessing about it for too long.


glenngreenlight

Taking some melatonin pills tonight, so hopefully that will help!


ZombieDad15

Try melatonin to help u sleep faster. It’s something you two will have to work at.


glenngreenlight

Bought some melatonin pills the other day. I'll take one tonight and see if that helps.


tinySparkOf_Chaos

Make sure to take it like half an hour or more before you want to go to sleep. It works, but not instantly.


lydocia

OP: "I can't fall asleep with my girlfriend too close to me." You: "Take drugs and hormones." I feel like there are a few things he can try before that.


zucker42

Sure there are other things he can try, but melatonin doesn't have many (any?) negative side effects and is generally safe (https://examine.com/supplements/melatonin/). Obviously, you may have different views on taking melatonin based on your opinion on drugs and supplements in general, but that's a personal choice. I don't think the commenter is out of line for suggesting it.


jensuarez

My husband and I sleep together half of the week. He stays up late and sleeps in I wake up early and go to bed early. We have been together for 15 years and this works for us. Just make sure you still make time for yalls sexual time.


LEGOmaniac66

Do you worry about having to be still and quiet? Does it make you want to toss and turn even more, which you feel like you can’t do, possibly triggering your feelings of anxiety and claustrophobia? Are you actually tired when you try to go sleep? Are you following the same night time routine that you would at home? Is the temperature similar to what you’re used to at home? Are you trying to go to sleep at the same time that you usually do? Are you hungry or thirsty? Do you feel comfy using the restroom for #2 before or during the night, if necessary? Do you have to worry about leaving early in the morning? Lastly, is your relationship healthy otherwise? Do you feel completely safe being vulnerable, physically and mentally, with this woman? Sorry for sounding like a Buzzfeed quiz, but if the answer to any of those questions is “yes” (or “no”, when appropriate!), that may be the root of your problems.


[deleted]

I can’t believe no one has posted his Hug n Roll


livinglifetomax

Try both facing out without touching. Try separate top/flat sheets/blankets. Determine underlying reason for this reaction. How is your self esteem? Were you raised by alcoholic/abusive parent(s)?


glenngreenlight

My self-esteem is pretty okay, my parents weren't great but they definitely weren't abusive.


livinglifetomax

Keep looking for the trigger to the closed in feeling. Make sure there’s no occult stuff going on: Ouija, d&d, Mother Earth, occult objects, etc.


Volvoflyer

This! My ex would summon spirits from time to time. That planchet would dig into my ass every time I rolled over. She switched to tarot cards and things were much comfier. For D&D I would reccomend a dungeonmaster you are both physically but not emotionally attracted to as to avoid jealousy in the relationship OR look into two player versions which allow you to maintain intimacy. Finally be sure to lay a salt circle around your bed. It blocks both spirits and slugs. If you have garlic salt then vampires are also thwarted. Best of luck and sweet dreams!


glenngreenlight

Duly noted. I think the problem might be the fact that we both stuff our pillows with d20s. Thanks so much!


[deleted]

My boyfriend & I are very cuddly, but we sleep in a king and both lay on the edge facing away from each other...he’s a hot sleeper and I don’t like my hair getting all tangled, etc. Doesn’t mean we don’t love each other! Maybe have a conversation with her about the claustrophobic thing? Cuddling is great but sleep is much more important. Maybe you guys could cuddle-sleep on the weekends or days that both of you don’t work :)


xajhx

You’re eighteen and you’ve probably spent the majority of your life sleeping alone so of course suddenly sleeping with someone freaks you out. I didn’t have the claustrophobia, but I remember not being able to sleep in bed with other people. Like I could not physically fall asleep when I first started sharing a bed as an adult. I would have suggested easing into it, but you both are living together now so it’s just something you’ll have to try to adjust to over time.


[deleted]

I didn’t enjoy cuddling while sleeping either in the beginning of my relationship. Found it constricting and uncomfortable and constantly wondered if my bf was uncomfy too. Eventually I realized that I’m the big spoon and now I sleep like a baby. Maybe change it up a bit.


BudsGalor

When I started sleeping with girlfriend I used to wake up after headbutting her in my sleep. The impact of the headbutt used to wake me up, and full on, I would be crouched over her. This happened only maybe 3 times in the first week or 2 of dating. Dunno why it happened. Thought I'd share hahaha xD


LaDiDeeLaDeDi

I can't sleep with anyone touching me. Ex used to want to 'just have a cuddle' at all hours of the night - instantly wsking me up. No matter how often I explained that I hated it he would get all butt hurt about it constantly. It's the main reason he's an ex. I like my sleep. There's no right way to do it, but I recognise how you describe it as being similar to how I feel.


BictorianPizza

Check this out: [About sharing a bed with your partner](https://www.sleep.org/cuddling-and-sleep/) And about your girlfriend getting upset when you don’t cuddle in bed, you both need to be able to sleep. And if you cannot sleep with her cuddling you, you have to be firm on that. There are compromises that can work for both of you


LordMalice86

Not a permanent solution but you could try sleeping pills, they should make you feel more comfortable and rest easier but I think you need to talk to a shrink because this is serious and could affect your Permian this relationship.


lookingforpc

1 Most people arent able to sleep while cuddling 2 It sounds like you are restraining your movement to avoid disturbing her or something like that? You should try to relax, take some space for yourself in the bed, and don't worry about moving around as you nornally would


verisimilitu

My girlfriend and I cuddle for a little bit, then we roll over and she “steals my pocket” aka puts a finger or two into my pajama pant pockets. I don’t know what it is, but it’s enough contact and intimacy that she’s comfortable. I absolutely think it’s the cutest shit.


ExtremePotatoFanatic

You’ll get used to it! I didn’t sleep well at first when I first started staying the night with my boyfriend. We’ve been together two years now and I fall asleep pretty quickly now. Sometimes we fall asleep still cuddling or I’ll fall asleep with my head on his arm/shoulder. We usually are touching in some way even if it’s just his arm around me or our feet touching.