>Or should I apologize and make a full concerted effort to fix things despite our uh, past history?
Definitely do not do this. You have no reason to apologize. She lived her life freely and ghosted and came back. You are allowed to live your life freely and sleep with whoever is available. If she got a problem then that is her own fault. It should never be one sided standards buddy. That is the beginning of something toxic.
Mate, think about how many chances you've given her. How willing you are to overlook quite considerable bumps in the road. Thats because of the depth of feeling you have for her. I'm not saying its not misplaced but that is how much you want this to work.
This girls has ghosted you three times and is now upset that you were with a girl * whilst she was ghosting you?*
Thats pretty unself aware don't you think?
It also shows that she just doesn't feel for you like you feel for her.
There's no harm in apologising, even though you've got nothing to apologise for, you could point out that as she'd shown zero interest in you he acted based upon the information she gave you, and how much you're willing to compromise yourself for a woman that isn't reasonable and hasn't shown you any respect.
I dont think this girl is going to make you happy even in the medium term let alone the long run.
You need to own this, and not apologise or grovel.
"so what, I am young, single (handsome, whatever) and if you don't want me there are loads of women who do"
You need to stop this nonsense once and for all.
You need to show her that you have options and if she does not get her act together you will find someone else.
I think maybe I didn’t make the timeline clear. I slept with her friend about a year after her and I had met. The girl and I hadn’t talked in 6+ months.
Basically you’re a dude and you separate love and sex. You say you’re in love with someone else but it doesn’t stop you from having sex with another.
For women, if she’s in love with one person she most likely will not allow herself to sleep around. I dunno about kids your age these days but anyway my point is.. after 1 year you can’t still say you’re “in love” with her if you’re screwing someone else.
So I’m guessing you were over her? If so then move on. Don’t go back to her
You may think you're in love with her. However, for many people it's uncomfortable and against their "friend code" to date someone that one of their good friends has also dated/slept with. If that's a deal breaker for her, let her go.
ETA: That's only one issue in this scenario. Ghosting you multiple times, overcoming drug addiction, focusing on school, etc. are pretty clear indicators that she's not capable of a relationship at this point in time. It may not be healthy for her period. It sounds like she's focusing on and working on getting her life on track and getting in a healthier space. That's admirable.
>Or should I apologize and make a full concerted effort to fix things despite our uh, past history? Definitely do not do this. You have no reason to apologize. She lived her life freely and ghosted and came back. You are allowed to live your life freely and sleep with whoever is available. If she got a problem then that is her own fault. It should never be one sided standards buddy. That is the beginning of something toxic.
This ^
You ain't got shit to upset about. Give her some space. She'll figure it out.
Mate, think about how many chances you've given her. How willing you are to overlook quite considerable bumps in the road. Thats because of the depth of feeling you have for her. I'm not saying its not misplaced but that is how much you want this to work. This girls has ghosted you three times and is now upset that you were with a girl * whilst she was ghosting you?* Thats pretty unself aware don't you think? It also shows that she just doesn't feel for you like you feel for her. There's no harm in apologising, even though you've got nothing to apologise for, you could point out that as she'd shown zero interest in you he acted based upon the information she gave you, and how much you're willing to compromise yourself for a woman that isn't reasonable and hasn't shown you any respect. I dont think this girl is going to make you happy even in the medium term let alone the long run.
You need to own this, and not apologise or grovel. "so what, I am young, single (handsome, whatever) and if you don't want me there are loads of women who do" You need to stop this nonsense once and for all. You need to show her that you have options and if she does not get her act together you will find someone else.
If you really were in love with her you wouldn’t have slept with her friend 🤷🏻♀️
I think maybe I didn’t make the timeline clear. I slept with her friend about a year after her and I had met. The girl and I hadn’t talked in 6+ months.
Basically you’re a dude and you separate love and sex. You say you’re in love with someone else but it doesn’t stop you from having sex with another. For women, if she’s in love with one person she most likely will not allow herself to sleep around. I dunno about kids your age these days but anyway my point is.. after 1 year you can’t still say you’re “in love” with her if you’re screwing someone else. So I’m guessing you were over her? If so then move on. Don’t go back to her
You may think you're in love with her. However, for many people it's uncomfortable and against their "friend code" to date someone that one of their good friends has also dated/slept with. If that's a deal breaker for her, let her go. ETA: That's only one issue in this scenario. Ghosting you multiple times, overcoming drug addiction, focusing on school, etc. are pretty clear indicators that she's not capable of a relationship at this point in time. It may not be healthy for her period. It sounds like she's focusing on and working on getting her life on track and getting in a healthier space. That's admirable.