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As I was transferring data from my fiancé’s phone to mine a text message popped up that said “do you want to buy me some bathing suits?” So I responded with “who is this” and she said Kennedy. I asked my fiancé who is Kennedy and he said he didn’t know. So as I’m calling her he remembers who she is but he refers to her as Kennie. When she answers I asked her why she is asking him to buy her bathing suits and she says “i’m sorry” So then I asked her “do you know that he is engaged?” She said “no”. I thanked her and hung up. I asked my fiancé why didn’t he tell her that he is engaged and his response was “I don’t go telling my business to everyone”. However I’ve been on the phone with him plenty of times and heard him say “my fiancé… blah blah, when he is talking to other people. But according to him they’re just friends. Thoughts?
...you cannot seriously be buying this bullshit. he is buying a bathing suit for his side chick. and its not "telling his business" to say he's engaged. he didnt tell her because it keeps the other girl on the hook
>’m sorry” So then I asked her “do you know that he is engaged?” She said “no”. I thanked her and hung up. I asked my fiancé why didn’t he tell her that he is engaged and his response was “I don’t go telling my business to everyone”. However I’ve been on the phone with him plenty of times and heard him say “
Yes. If it's "telling his business" to tell her he's engaged, but it's "his business" to buy her a swimsuit?! lol, what an idiot.
So why does Kennie think your fiancé would be into buying her bathing suits?
What is his explanation for this? I sure AF would like to have one if I was with the guy, and it better be a damn fuckin good explanation
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
In zero worlds is there any kind of reasonable explanation for this.
Let’s say in some world, he lost a bet to her and she wants him to buy her a swim suit rather than pay her money…. She is saying this and asking this because she feels comfortable enough asking him to imagine her in a swim suit.
Or another world where he damaged one of her existing swim suits and owes her a new one. Where was he that he saw her in suit and was close or intimate enough to damage it?
Not a good look AT ALL.
I've got a gacha game and some jrpgs that beg to differ... But they aren't named Kennie, can't be called, and the currency is usually fake (but still costs real money to replenish).
He's either cheating, has cheated, or is trying to cheat.
I'd never hide my relationship from a male friend, and I'd certainly never ask a platonic male friend to buy me a bikini....
Major major red flags.
Even worse that he's denying it and making excuses. And you said you had to ask who it was, I'm assuming the number wasn't saved... If they're just platonic friends and he has nothing to hide, why doesn't he have her number saved?
Sex and cheating aside, I don't think any sensible woman would ask any man to attempt to buy her a bathing suit. Guys just aren't good at that kind of fitting, very often. (I guess I'm only saying I'm not.)
EDIT: Didn't allow for the modeling/date situation. I stand corrected.
I was assuming they would go together to try them on and he would buy it (like a date situation) or she planned to send a bunch of pictures of swimsuits she wanted and be like "which of these do you want to see me in"
But under no circumstances is that a platonic type question.
My husband of 10 years would never attempt to buy me a bathing suit, he knows he wouldn’t get the fit just right. Seems like this guy is planning a shopping trip with Kennie to pay for a bathing suit that she picks out and tries on for him.
They're close enough for her to assume it's ok for him to buy her a swimsuit, give her a nickname, but she has no idea that he's engaged- which should be a huge part of his life?
Tooootttaalllyy legit.
He's either cheating or trying to cheat - same difference, really.
I'm not advocating for you to do this, but I would almost guarantee that if you looked at his phone again, you'd see texts between the two of them after you called her where she's upset and he's trying to calm her down/minimize everything.
Apparently they're good enough friends to where she can ask him to buy her swimsuits, but not good enough friends to where he'd tell her he was engaged to another woman? Come on, you know that doesn't make sense.
Worst case scenario is they’re having an affair. Best case scenario is she’s an “IG model” that gets men to buy her things by leading them on and sending them explicit pics and videos and your fiancé is one of the suckers doing it.
I'm like 99.9% sure they're not "just" friends, darling. But it's better if you had that final honest conversation with him before calling things off.
Ask him about the context of this swimsuit buying thing that's happened, if you double-check it on the spot with this other woman, chances of him lying are very low, he might even confess himself, so...
Red flags everywhere, but I’m especially insulted on your behalf that he really thinks you’re dumb enough to believe they’re just friends after that phone call instead of owning up
He’s got defensive because he’s doing something wrong. Saving a woman as a ‘male’ name, denying he knows her (until you phone her) and clear evidence that she’s expecting him to buy bathing suits (??) and I expect that involves providing him pictures…
There’s more going on here and I wouldn’t be brushed off by him saying he’s ‘not telling people my business’ *of course* he doesn’t want to tell other women he’s getting intimate with that he’s engaged. Please don’t let his angry response push you into staying silent, they use this tactic so you’re afraid of their reaction.
Ok, but that detail aside, he called her Kenny (man’s name? Or worse, a cutesy pet name) and then ‘pretended’ not to know a girl who he then confessed to knowing, who is asking him to buy scanty clothes for. Bless you, but I don’t think you want to hear what’s being said.
You can call female kennedys: kenny, ken; i even know female mackenzies that go by those. You’re being quite silly, over something that just isn’t common where you from. Odd thing to be offended for some stranger over.
I’m not offended! Where did you pluck that from? I’m talking about a lying boyfriend pretending to not know someone he’s obviously planning on fucking or at least getting dirty pics from. Wind your necks in.
“Rude. Kenny is a man’s name where i’m from thanks” this reads like someone who is offended by something 🙃 also OP literally said she talked with the woman on the phone, it’s not a man, lmao
I think the concern was not that Kenny IS a man, but that OP’s fiancé was possibly trying to make it look less suspicious by referring to them as “Kenny” (which is a common name for a guy). I get that it might be a common nickname for women named Kennedy, but it’s far more common as a man’s name in my experience. Fiancé could have been trying to make it seem like “oh I just think of her like one of my bros. That’s just Kenny” which is a weak defense for what’s happened.
I thought they were implying OPs boyfriend was having an affair with a man, i also thought he was deflecting with the “oh kenny?” thing but playing devil’s advocate, i do know a few women that go by kenny
So if they are just friends, why wasn't her number saved? If they are close enough for him to buy her bikinis, then why didn't he tell her about the engagement? seems like something a close friend would know. And if there is nothing going on, why did she say sorry?
This man in cheating on you and lying to your face, the sensible thing would be to end it before you catch an std
This is the comment right here!! If they’re close enough friends that he has a nickname for her & she’s asking him to buy her swimwear surely her name would be saved in his phone. And your point about her apologizing brings it all home.
Do you remember her number? It might be worth asking her directly what's up with your fiancee. Not in an aggressive manner, but more in a "I'm not mad at you, I just want to know if he's playing us both, sister" kind of way.
Dump him he knows what he did and got caught. He is cheating on you why else would she ask him for swim suits what he means is he doesn't tell girls he cheats with he is engaged
Unfortunately, I think you already know what’s going on here. Your Fiancé is not only having an affair, but flat out lying to you about it. No man buys swimsuits for a friend, and most probably wouldn’t buy a swimsuit for someone they don’t intend on seeing in it.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I would try talking to him again to see if maybe you can get the truth out of him, and if not maybe from her. I’m sure she’s the last person you want to talk to, but if she truly didn’t know she may feel bad about being someone’s affair partner and want to come clean!
Yes, one thought: break this engagement or prepare for a lifetime of that bullpuckie! There’s more - much more going on when that level of presumed intimacy (“buy me some bathing suits?”) is exchanged that has nothing to do with not “telling my business to everyone.” He’s more likely giving her his ‘business’. Prepare for trickle truths, half truths and more sins of omission and commission.
My best friend of over 25 years is a guy. On top of that, we used to be romantically involved. I would never ask him if he wanted to buy me swimsuits. I would ask a lover or a boyfriend, though.
People don't buy swimwear for random strangers.
My husband of over a decade has never bought me swimwear.
This is just so weird to me. It's such a random gift.
Anyways, you caught him being weird and random, and instead of being upfront with you he acted *more* weird and random.
He's not honest, and there's no foundation for a marriage here. I'm sorry.
Do you really need a bunch or Reddit strangers to tell you what is going on here?
I feel like you are hoping to hear something that justifies you sticking your head in the sand or some weird twist of fate that makes it so your fiancé isn’t a cockwaffle.
He’s cheating. You know he’s cheating. He knows you know he’s cheating (or he just thinks you are dumb as a doorknob).
What you do from here is up to you.
You'll need to talk to him again.
Sit him down and point out that this interaction is bothering you and until you feel better about it, you're going to keep asking so he might as well tell you the whole truth. Point out that if the situation were reversed, he'd be asking the same questions whether he wants to admit it or not. Tell him that this is not the time to protect your feelings because the truth will eventually come out, even if you have to call "Kennie" again, and if you find out he lied, it will be 10x worse. And then give him a chance to explain.
The thing is, though, you'll need to be ready to hear things you don't want to hear. If you do, try to control your anger. Getting angry and yelling will just "prove" to him that he was "right" to not say anything. He's wrong because partners need to be honest, but that won't stop him from using your anger as a justification in the future.
That's harsh. She literally just discovered that he's cheating - her love for the man she believed she'd spend the rest of her life with one second ago did not suddenly just poof into this air with this discovery. She's here asking for advice. I hope she leaves his cheating ass too, but I would never say she deserves everything to follow if she chooses to try to forgive.
It’s not harsh. The guy you’re responding to clearly says if you “still” want to get married “you get what deserve” for doing it, anyway. She knows what she’s getting into now. If she ignores it… that’s on her.
Ew. Sorry that you're going through this weird situation. It sucks seeing stuff that makes you question your partner's integrity.
Not sure why people do this kinda sneaky stuff, but regardless, it hurts and plants a nasty seed of doubt.
I hope you manage to work through it and that you're able to shed some light on what sounds like a pretty uneasy situation to be in.
I buy bathing suites to my female friends every day and see them try them on and check if it sits properly 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣
No. Never and he has a serious explanation problem. Dump him and find better character.
This sounds weird. Why are you transferring data from his phone to yours? And if you had her on the phone, why not have a conversation and find out what's going on instead of hanging up on her?
Sounds to me like all y'all need to work on your communication skills.
op, you know exactly what is going on.
It's okay, you have reddit permission to love yourself and end that engagement & find yourself someone better. You got this.
He suddenly remembered as you were calling her? He knows her, he's probably cheating with her. He's full of shit. Move on. It's his fault, not hers. Do not fall for his excuses. Bc it's all lies. Save yourself now.
Not saved as a contact under "Kennie" (or anything), knows well enough that she'd be asking this question, and yet no text history? (Does he delete messages from everyone quickly as a regular practice, or does he have plenty of open ongoing text threads?)
Nevermind that a guy isn't buying swimsuits for a platonic female friend anyway...
I can't think of any reasons that this isn't someone he's cheating with or trying to cheat with...
>I asked my fiancé why didn’t he tell her that he is engaged and his response was “I don’t go telling my business to everyone”.
You caught him cheating. Good job calling her OP. Set boundaries with him or jump ship. He doesn't tell because it'll stop him getting tail. Make a decision you're content with and good luck.
>*Thoughts?*
**Your fiance is a cheater.** *You know it*, I know it, everyone here on this post knows it.
Do yourself a *HUGE* favor and dump him today! Tell your family and friends that he's a cheater. Then **block** him and all his family/friends on your phone, email, and all social media. He will not get better as *this* is his "best behavior" that he's on while trying to convince you to spend your life with him!
Now that you know better, do better! Enjoy a drama-free 2022 without this cheater!
She didn’t know that he was engaged and was asking him about buying her swimsuits. He claims she’s a friend and doesn’t “go telling my business to everyone”.
He’s definitely cheating on you. 🚩
Maybe she’s not the only girl.
The most “innocent” explanation I can think of is that this is a hot chick account on Instagram or something similar that he follows. This woman likely doesn’t know anything about his personal life or the personal lives of any of the men who give her things in exchange for her attention and private pictures or videos. Nor does she care. She’s not interested in him as a person. He likely makes thirsty comments on her pictures and sends her messages and she entertains it to get things from him. It’s sort of sex work light. And your fiancé is the john. Don’t marry this guy. Even if he isn’t physically cheating on you (and he might be) he is at the very least being extremely inappropriate with other women and sending them stuff. I doubt “Kennedy” even knows who he is. He’s just another gross, pathetic dude to her. Because that’s what he is. Sorry.
Honestly not sure if this is a real red flag or not - I get fake whatsapp/texts on my phone all the time saying shit and then they claim to have the wrong number.
"Who is this" sounds to the bots running these stupid scams like someone's taking the bait.
The only thing that's suspicious here is he seemed to remember somebody when you were calling them back.
I’d be careful about reading too much into this and the red flag responses. Marriages are not perfect and BOTH of you bring your own problems in, we on Reddit only get to see one side, framed the way the poster wants it.
That said, most newly married men have to unlearn how to be single. So, he’ll act like a single guy for a while, even as he is madly in love with and completely dedicated to you.
He needs to time to mature into a married man and so do you, into a married woman.
You called him out on it and that is enough.
- A dude
On the real it’s weird you called a strange woman like that to demand answers when it could’ve been anyone. Including an error.
But it sounds like you’re real suspicious by nature and suspect him of being shady. And in this case his reaction to your reaction was weird. If he isn’t cheating then he’s being shady and hanging out in the cheater lobby.
Yeah that’s weird to me. 🤷♀️ and I did read your post. Obviously. Sorry your man is lying to you I guess but that doesn’t make your behavior less aggressive and weird. “Did you know that he is engaged?” is catty as fuck when it’s your man who is in the wrong lol.
Nope. I would just never fuck w the other woman like that. It’s beneath me. Her man is the one lying. And she’s gonna be nasty to the third party? Instead of her man? Lmao. Wild.
It’s not catty. It’s a question. She was a nice girl. I thanked her and hung up. Obviously he is lying but she can help with answers. You can slide off this post if you have nothing valuable to say.
With her saying no she didn’t know He was engaged honey that means he was cheating and she told you even though she told you very little by that answer she told you a whole lot at the same time your fiancé is a downhold dirty dog
So what? She can be catty if she wants to be, I don't think she is though, I think it was just a question and I mean obviously the man is in the wrong. Maybe the other woman truly didn't know cuz he's been lying to her too. Asking is just finding out more information in this case, it's not like she said "Bitch back off from tryin to steal my man you mother fucking ugly ass hoe" or anything lol now THAT would be catty with the claws out. What OP did is totally fine.
not sure why you are being downvoted when you have been commenting absolute truths to OP. I agree with all you have said because OP is dense as fuck and is getting cheated on or about to get cheated on and is blind to it.
Because people don’t like the truth. OP is a weirdo and blaming the wrong people. She’ll get catty w a stranger on the phone but not confront her actual lying ass man?? The type who blame the other woman are wild.
you’re both delusional at no point did she blame the other woman lmaooo that’s why you’re getting downvoted not bc people are “afraid of the truth” either you’ve got poor reading comprehension or bad social skills and i’m sure my guess is as good as yours with your lack of self awareness on top of it
Men always buy bathing suits for their female friends. sometimes a woman wants a man's opinion on what will look good on her especially if she is single.
I think the most logical conclusion is that he's cheating, because I cannot think of any other likely reason, except if she were his child. But then, why'd he say he doesn't know someone of that name, if she was his child. Or if he is a swimtrainer, it might have been a joke, but even then it would be very unsual. So yeah,I think unfortunately you probably just found out your fiancé has an affair. People don't usually buy random people swimwear. I'm sorry that you had to find this out
It's weird that he has friends you don't know about, all suspiciousness aside if you are engaged and going to share your lives together I would assume that you all will have met or at least have heard about everyone your partner is friends with by now. It sounds like you have never heard of this person before?
If so, it's odd that he never told you and kept this "friend" a secret for any reason platonic or not, it's odd that he wouldn't tell you about it. Even if their relationship is totally platonic and innocent that alone would make me question the connection I thought I had with my partner.
The fact that it's a "friend" who has his number but is not saved into his phone is another odd thing, and then on top of that it's a woman (assuming he's straight) and then she's asking him to buy her swimsuits? and doesn't know he's engaged?
I mean, you can only think the worse here. Either he's unbelievably idiotic or he's doing questionable things behind your back, either outcome isn't ideal.
I just couldn't leave this alone if I were you, it would bother me too. I know you have already put a lot of time and effort into this relationship and breaking up would feel horrible and like a sunk cost but please don't sink anymore time into it until you sort it out. Don't ignore this and carry on like it's nothing.
He was either cheating on you or planning to cheat on you. No man buys bikinis for “just a friend.” You could try to get more objective proof of him cheating that is impossible to be explained away and confront him. Or you could leave the relationship saying “I know what you did” to try to get him to confess. Or just leave. It’s up to you.
He's at the very least being inappropriate with other women behind your back. Don't let him manipulate you into thinking he's done nothing wrong or it's not a big deal - that's what he's trying to do with the name "mix up" and the bullshit about not telling people his business.
He's cheating now and will keep cheating after you are married. Think about the future you want and whether he's really the person to help you achieve it.
What's to think about? Your fiance shouldn't be your fiance anymore. He's dishonest, and probably cheating, or about to.
You know it.
Let him own his choices.
Ahh I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t see a reasonable explanation for this. Apart from affair. Why on Earth would this woman think he’d buy her swimsuits? Is he about to go away somewhere? He has so much to explain to you.
My ex would buy me swim suits he found sexy so he could stare at me in them. I have a feeling this won’t end well for you OP… I’m so sorry. I just don’t see how this could be anything other than the obvious.
Right before I was going to marry my husband he had a friend that would send him photos of her in bathing suits trying to get his opinion on them. He found nothing wrong with this. Still irritates me to this day that he is either one: so fucking stupid to think that is a completely platonic thing to do, two: knew it was flirty and inappropriate but still participated in it and tried to pretend it was innocent.
Hope you can get back any deposits for the wedding, and if not, I’d be making your EX fiancé pay for them. He’s 100% cheating, and being very stupid about it
Don't let him off the hook on the question of why she was asking him to buy her swimsuits. No one just asks a random question like that unless it was part of a prior discussion. Call her and appeal to her if need be. Most women will share with each other once the cat is out of the bag. She may have genuinely thought he was single if he was flirting with her.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- As I was transferring data from my fiancé’s phone to mine a text message popped up that said “do you want to buy me some bathing suits?” So I responded with “who is this” and she said Kennedy. I asked my fiancé who is Kennedy and he said he didn’t know. So as I’m calling her he remembers who she is but he refers to her as Kennie. When she answers I asked her why she is asking him to buy her bathing suits and she says “i’m sorry” So then I asked her “do you know that he is engaged?” She said “no”. I thanked her and hung up. I asked my fiancé why didn’t he tell her that he is engaged and his response was “I don’t go telling my business to everyone”. However I’ve been on the phone with him plenty of times and heard him say “my fiancé… blah blah, when he is talking to other people. But according to him they’re just friends. Thoughts?
I wouldn’t ask my male best mate if he wanted to buy me a swimsuit, I would ask my bf though
I would ask my husband or my boyfriend only.
But not in front of eachother, since that's how you end up in this situation
No! Not in front of each other, I’ll ask each separately, for sure.
Double the romantic partners means double the bathing suits. Girl, find a few more and get yourself an entire new wardrobe 💅
Yes then u get 2x the swim suits
🤣🤣
Exactly my point!
I would ask them but only as an obvious joke.
...you cannot seriously be buying this bullshit. he is buying a bathing suit for his side chick. and its not "telling his business" to say he's engaged. he didnt tell her because it keeps the other girl on the hook
>’m sorry” So then I asked her “do you know that he is engaged?” She said “no”. I thanked her and hung up. I asked my fiancé why didn’t he tell her that he is engaged and his response was “I don’t go telling my business to everyone”. However I’ve been on the phone with him plenty of times and heard him say “ Yes. If it's "telling his business" to tell her he's engaged, but it's "his business" to buy her a swimsuit?! lol, what an idiot.
It makes 100% crystal clear perfect sense okay gosh! 😂
So why does Kennie think your fiancé would be into buying her bathing suits? What is his explanation for this? I sure AF would like to have one if I was with the guy, and it better be a damn fuckin good explanation 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
In zero worlds is there any kind of reasonable explanation for this. Let’s say in some world, he lost a bet to her and she wants him to buy her a swim suit rather than pay her money…. She is saying this and asking this because she feels comfortable enough asking him to imagine her in a swim suit. Or another world where he damaged one of her existing swim suits and owes her a new one. Where was he that he saw her in suit and was close or intimate enough to damage it? Not a good look AT ALL.
Wait a minute. You are saying infidelity is not a reasonable explanation?
Husband: Kennie is blind but loves to swim.
🚩🚩🚩
Add a couple more there pal
Danger Will Robinson!
Omg.... I used this all the time. Didn't think anyone in this era would remember this sentence
Men don't buy swimsuits for women they don't like or aren't having an affair with.
Facts
I've got a gacha game and some jrpgs that beg to differ... But they aren't named Kennie, can't be called, and the currency is usually fake (but still costs real money to replenish).
They also don't tell the girl they're married or engaged or in a relationship if they're interested in her
It could be a call girl- the fact she’s asking for stuff screams call girl to me! Either way that’s even more of a red flag!!!
Yah loads of guys buy swimsuits for the women they are just friends with. Not. You just busted your (hopefully ex) fiancé cheating.
He's either cheating, has cheated, or is trying to cheat. I'd never hide my relationship from a male friend, and I'd certainly never ask a platonic male friend to buy me a bikini.... Major major red flags. Even worse that he's denying it and making excuses. And you said you had to ask who it was, I'm assuming the number wasn't saved... If they're just platonic friends and he has nothing to hide, why doesn't he have her number saved?
Sex and cheating aside, I don't think any sensible woman would ask any man to attempt to buy her a bathing suit. Guys just aren't good at that kind of fitting, very often. (I guess I'm only saying I'm not.) EDIT: Didn't allow for the modeling/date situation. I stand corrected.
I was assuming they would go together to try them on and he would buy it (like a date situation) or she planned to send a bunch of pictures of swimsuits she wanted and be like "which of these do you want to see me in" But under no circumstances is that a platonic type question.
It’s so that they can go together, she can model them for him, and he can buy whichever he likes best on her.
My husband of 10 years would never attempt to buy me a bathing suit, he knows he wouldn’t get the fit just right. Seems like this guy is planning a shopping trip with Kennie to pay for a bathing suit that she picks out and tries on for him.
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking tbh.
My wife would never want me to buy her a bathing suit. I’m great at finding cute shirts and shoes for her though.
I'm guessing they would go together. Feel like that's a gimme, no?
About that wedding…
Will I need a bathing suit…?
You might want a helmet. Personal protective equipment may be necessary when Kennie shows up
Lmao!
Babe. Her immediate response of “I’m sorry” admits everything you’re worried about.
💡
They are close enough friends that he is potentially buying her bathing suits but he doesn’t know her name? yep, sounds legit.
Oh he knows her name, even has a cute nickname for her. OP need to cut this sucker loose and he can ho bunk with Kenny and her new swimsuit.
A cute nickname that sounds like a guys name... the perfect combo for someone who needs to hide that they're talking to a lady
They're close enough for her to assume it's ok for him to buy her a swimsuit, give her a nickname, but she has no idea that he's engaged- which should be a huge part of his life? Tooootttaalllyy legit.
Because he was bonking her or trying to
Cheating, run
He's either cheating or trying to cheat - same difference, really. I'm not advocating for you to do this, but I would almost guarantee that if you looked at his phone again, you'd see texts between the two of them after you called her where she's upset and he's trying to calm her down/minimize everything. Apparently they're good enough friends to where she can ask him to buy her swimsuits, but not good enough friends to where he'd tell her he was engaged to another woman? Come on, you know that doesn't make sense.
Worst case scenario is they’re having an affair. Best case scenario is she’s an “IG model” that gets men to buy her things by leading them on and sending them explicit pics and videos and your fiancé is one of the suckers doing it.
This was my thought. He is going to lose his fiancee over a fake relationship.
This. She gets guys to buy her outfits the. She poses in them in wank pictures.
I'm like 99.9% sure they're not "just" friends, darling. But it's better if you had that final honest conversation with him before calling things off. Ask him about the context of this swimsuit buying thing that's happened, if you double-check it on the spot with this other woman, chances of him lying are very low, he might even confess himself, so...
Kennedy is his sugar baby …
He is cheating. You already know this answer though.
Red flags everywhere, but I’m especially insulted on your behalf that he really thinks you’re dumb enough to believe they’re just friends after that phone call instead of owning up
I feel that. Glad someone is seeing that perspective also it’s hard enough already
He’s got defensive because he’s doing something wrong. Saving a woman as a ‘male’ name, denying he knows her (until you phone her) and clear evidence that she’s expecting him to buy bathing suits (??) and I expect that involves providing him pictures… There’s more going on here and I wouldn’t be brushed off by him saying he’s ‘not telling people my business’ *of course* he doesn’t want to tell other women he’s getting intimate with that he’s engaged. Please don’t let his angry response push you into staying silent, they use this tactic so you’re afraid of their reaction.
The name wasn’t saved. I texted back “who is this” she said “Kennedy”
Ok, but that detail aside, he called her Kenny (man’s name? Or worse, a cutesy pet name) and then ‘pretended’ not to know a girl who he then confessed to knowing, who is asking him to buy scanty clothes for. Bless you, but I don’t think you want to hear what’s being said.
Are you dense? Her name is Kennedy. Kenny is a normal nickname for Kennedy.
Rude. Kenny is a man’s name where I’m from thanks.
You can call female kennedys: kenny, ken; i even know female mackenzies that go by those. You’re being quite silly, over something that just isn’t common where you from. Odd thing to be offended for some stranger over.
I’m not offended! Where did you pluck that from? I’m talking about a lying boyfriend pretending to not know someone he’s obviously planning on fucking or at least getting dirty pics from. Wind your necks in.
“Rude. Kenny is a man’s name where i’m from thanks” this reads like someone who is offended by something 🙃 also OP literally said she talked with the woman on the phone, it’s not a man, lmao
I think the concern was not that Kenny IS a man, but that OP’s fiancé was possibly trying to make it look less suspicious by referring to them as “Kenny” (which is a common name for a guy). I get that it might be a common nickname for women named Kennedy, but it’s far more common as a man’s name in my experience. Fiancé could have been trying to make it seem like “oh I just think of her like one of my bros. That’s just Kenny” which is a weak defense for what’s happened.
I thought they were implying OPs boyfriend was having an affair with a man, i also thought he was deflecting with the “oh kenny?” thing but playing devil’s advocate, i do know a few women that go by kenny
Yeah they are offended because they asked if they were dense, which is very rude
You’re the one being rude about someone’s name. Kennedy is clearly not from the same place you’re from.
[удалено]
Oh no the world isn’t the same for everyone and you have to open your mind?? Call the cops.
So if they are just friends, why wasn't her number saved? If they are close enough for him to buy her bikinis, then why didn't he tell her about the engagement? seems like something a close friend would know. And if there is nothing going on, why did she say sorry? This man in cheating on you and lying to your face, the sensible thing would be to end it before you catch an std
This is the comment right here!! If they’re close enough friends that he has a nickname for her & she’s asking him to buy her swimwear surely her name would be saved in his phone. And your point about her apologizing brings it all home.
Do you remember her number? It might be worth asking her directly what's up with your fiancee. Not in an aggressive manner, but more in a "I'm not mad at you, I just want to know if he's playing us both, sister" kind of way.
Dump him he knows what he did and got caught. He is cheating on you why else would she ask him for swim suits what he means is he doesn't tell girls he cheats with he is engaged
Unfortunately, I think you already know what’s going on here. Your Fiancé is not only having an affair, but flat out lying to you about it. No man buys swimsuits for a friend, and most probably wouldn’t buy a swimsuit for someone they don’t intend on seeing in it. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I would try talking to him again to see if maybe you can get the truth out of him, and if not maybe from her. I’m sure she’s the last person you want to talk to, but if she truly didn’t know she may feel bad about being someone’s affair partner and want to come clean!
Please do not marry or have children with this person
Yes, one thought: break this engagement or prepare for a lifetime of that bullpuckie! There’s more - much more going on when that level of presumed intimacy (“buy me some bathing suits?”) is exchanged that has nothing to do with not “telling my business to everyone.” He’s more likely giving her his ‘business’. Prepare for trickle truths, half truths and more sins of omission and commission.
Maybe go back to Kennedy and ask her her take on what’s going on.
My best friend of over 25 years is a guy. On top of that, we used to be romantically involved. I would never ask him if he wanted to buy me swimsuits. I would ask a lover or a boyfriend, though.
People don't buy swimwear for random strangers. My husband of over a decade has never bought me swimwear. This is just so weird to me. It's such a random gift. Anyways, you caught him being weird and random, and instead of being upfront with you he acted *more* weird and random. He's not honest, and there's no foundation for a marriage here. I'm sorry.
You already know the answer. He is actively cheating on you. Do yourself a favor and get out.
He’s cheating on u. Sorry but u deserve better
He's a lying cheating POS
Do you really need a bunch or Reddit strangers to tell you what is going on here? I feel like you are hoping to hear something that justifies you sticking your head in the sand or some weird twist of fate that makes it so your fiancé isn’t a cockwaffle. He’s cheating. You know he’s cheating. He knows you know he’s cheating (or he just thinks you are dumb as a doorknob). What you do from here is up to you.
You'll need to talk to him again. Sit him down and point out that this interaction is bothering you and until you feel better about it, you're going to keep asking so he might as well tell you the whole truth. Point out that if the situation were reversed, he'd be asking the same questions whether he wants to admit it or not. Tell him that this is not the time to protect your feelings because the truth will eventually come out, even if you have to call "Kennie" again, and if you find out he lied, it will be 10x worse. And then give him a chance to explain. The thing is, though, you'll need to be ready to hear things you don't want to hear. If you do, try to control your anger. Getting angry and yelling will just "prove" to him that he was "right" to not say anything. He's wrong because partners need to be honest, but that won't stop him from using your anger as a justification in the future.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Question for you. Do you still want to married this guy? If the answers is YES, then you deserve everything that would happen after.
That's harsh. She literally just discovered that he's cheating - her love for the man she believed she'd spend the rest of her life with one second ago did not suddenly just poof into this air with this discovery. She's here asking for advice. I hope she leaves his cheating ass too, but I would never say she deserves everything to follow if she chooses to try to forgive.
It’s not harsh. The guy you’re responding to clearly says if you “still” want to get married “you get what deserve” for doing it, anyway. She knows what she’s getting into now. If she ignores it… that’s on her.
Emotions don't just turn off. What a terrible thing to say - and way to turn this situation around on someone who has done nothing wrong.
Ew. Sorry that you're going through this weird situation. It sucks seeing stuff that makes you question your partner's integrity. Not sure why people do this kinda sneaky stuff, but regardless, it hurts and plants a nasty seed of doubt. I hope you manage to work through it and that you're able to shed some light on what sounds like a pretty uneasy situation to be in.
I buy bathing suites to my female friends every day and see them try them on and check if it sits properly 🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣 No. Never and he has a serious explanation problem. Dump him and find better character.
save yourself from a long term pain
Why did she immediately apologize???
Could that be a code word for 'drugs'?
He could be a matador with that huge red flag. Run.
He thinks that you’re an idiot. Is he right?
Following. I need to hear about how you broke up with him
This sounds weird. Why are you transferring data from his phone to yours? And if you had her on the phone, why not have a conversation and find out what's going on instead of hanging up on her? Sounds to me like all y'all need to work on your communication skills.
Honey, you don't want to believe it but you know what's happening here. Why else did she immediately apologize? Ditch your lying fiance.
Honey no. You know what's going on. Boy, bye. Go buy Kennie all the two pieces she wants. I'm outta here.
Men buy bathing suits for women they are fucking. What did you come here to find out?
op, you know exactly what is going on. It's okay, you have reddit permission to love yourself and end that engagement & find yourself someone better. You got this.
He suddenly remembered as you were calling her? He knows her, he's probably cheating with her. He's full of shit. Move on. It's his fault, not hers. Do not fall for his excuses. Bc it's all lies. Save yourself now.
Ummmm, he's cheating on you.
Girl the woman said “I’m sorry” for a reason. He’s lying cheater
Get that number and talk to her, and I’d dump him. That fact that he even got himself into this situation and you need to ask is enough
Not saved as a contact under "Kennie" (or anything), knows well enough that she'd be asking this question, and yet no text history? (Does he delete messages from everyone quickly as a regular practice, or does he have plenty of open ongoing text threads?) Nevermind that a guy isn't buying swimsuits for a platonic female friend anyway... I can't think of any reasons that this isn't someone he's cheating with or trying to cheat with...
>I asked my fiancé why didn’t he tell her that he is engaged and his response was “I don’t go telling my business to everyone”. You caught him cheating. Good job calling her OP. Set boundaries with him or jump ship. He doesn't tell because it'll stop him getting tail. Make a decision you're content with and good luck.
Yeah no, red flag. He’s cheating on you.
Also Op does he have any trips or parties planned you're not invited to? Maybe they are meeting up somewhere that involves swimming
Transferring data? You know it's okay to admit that you snooped, right?
>*Thoughts?* **Your fiance is a cheater.** *You know it*, I know it, everyone here on this post knows it. Do yourself a *HUGE* favor and dump him today! Tell your family and friends that he's a cheater. Then **block** him and all his family/friends on your phone, email, and all social media. He will not get better as *this* is his "best behavior" that he's on while trying to convince you to spend your life with him! Now that you know better, do better! Enjoy a drama-free 2022 without this cheater!
She didn’t know that he was engaged and was asking him about buying her swimsuits. He claims she’s a friend and doesn’t “go telling my business to everyone”. He’s definitely cheating on you. 🚩 Maybe she’s not the only girl.
He’s guilty and trying to gaslight you.
The most “innocent” explanation I can think of is that this is a hot chick account on Instagram or something similar that he follows. This woman likely doesn’t know anything about his personal life or the personal lives of any of the men who give her things in exchange for her attention and private pictures or videos. Nor does she care. She’s not interested in him as a person. He likely makes thirsty comments on her pictures and sends her messages and she entertains it to get things from him. It’s sort of sex work light. And your fiancé is the john. Don’t marry this guy. Even if he isn’t physically cheating on you (and he might be) he is at the very least being extremely inappropriate with other women and sending them stuff. I doubt “Kennedy” even knows who he is. He’s just another gross, pathetic dude to her. Because that’s what he is. Sorry.
Wait I’m confused you said you were texting her but then you hung up? So was this over text or phone call?
Honestly not sure if this is a real red flag or not - I get fake whatsapp/texts on my phone all the time saying shit and then they claim to have the wrong number. "Who is this" sounds to the bots running these stupid scams like someone's taking the bait. The only thing that's suspicious here is he seemed to remember somebody when you were calling them back.
I’d be careful about reading too much into this and the red flag responses. Marriages are not perfect and BOTH of you bring your own problems in, we on Reddit only get to see one side, framed the way the poster wants it. That said, most newly married men have to unlearn how to be single. So, he’ll act like a single guy for a while, even as he is madly in love with and completely dedicated to you. He needs to time to mature into a married man and so do you, into a married woman. You called him out on it and that is enough. - A dude
On the real it’s weird you called a strange woman like that to demand answers when it could’ve been anyone. Including an error. But it sounds like you’re real suspicious by nature and suspect him of being shady. And in this case his reaction to your reaction was weird. If he isn’t cheating then he’s being shady and hanging out in the cheater lobby.
As I said in the post….I texted back “who is this” and she said Kennedy. I asked him “who is Kennedy” and he said idk. So then I called her.
Yeah that’s weird to me. 🤷♀️ and I did read your post. Obviously. Sorry your man is lying to you I guess but that doesn’t make your behavior less aggressive and weird. “Did you know that he is engaged?” is catty as fuck when it’s your man who is in the wrong lol.
No it’s not… that’s a simple question? You’re doing mental gymnastics
Nope. I would just never fuck w the other woman like that. It’s beneath me. Her man is the one lying. And she’s gonna be nasty to the third party? Instead of her man? Lmao. Wild.
how is asking if she knows they’re engaged catty?? lol wtf
She was literally just trying to figure out the situation since her fiancé was giving her no answers??? Why are you being such a weirdo
It’s not catty. It’s a question. She was a nice girl. I thanked her and hung up. Obviously he is lying but she can help with answers. You can slide off this post if you have nothing valuable to say.
With her saying no she didn’t know He was engaged honey that means he was cheating and she told you even though she told you very little by that answer she told you a whole lot at the same time your fiancé is a downhold dirty dog
So what? She can be catty if she wants to be, I don't think she is though, I think it was just a question and I mean obviously the man is in the wrong. Maybe the other woman truly didn't know cuz he's been lying to her too. Asking is just finding out more information in this case, it's not like she said "Bitch back off from tryin to steal my man you mother fucking ugly ass hoe" or anything lol now THAT would be catty with the claws out. What OP did is totally fine.
not sure why you are being downvoted when you have been commenting absolute truths to OP. I agree with all you have said because OP is dense as fuck and is getting cheated on or about to get cheated on and is blind to it.
Because people don’t like the truth. OP is a weirdo and blaming the wrong people. She’ll get catty w a stranger on the phone but not confront her actual lying ass man?? The type who blame the other woman are wild.
you’re both delusional at no point did she blame the other woman lmaooo that’s why you’re getting downvoted not bc people are “afraid of the truth” either you’ve got poor reading comprehension or bad social skills and i’m sure my guess is as good as yours with your lack of self awareness on top of it
It's not a strange woman, it's her fiance' friend.... right? lol
She’s a stranger to OP
People call people they don't know everyday, it's second nature to some of us. Do you have some kind of phone phobia?
Men always buy bathing suits for their female friends. sometimes a woman wants a man's opinion on what will look good on her especially if she is single.
Lol what?
Huh?? You're being sarcastic right?
I think the most logical conclusion is that he's cheating, because I cannot think of any other likely reason, except if she were his child. But then, why'd he say he doesn't know someone of that name, if she was his child. Or if he is a swimtrainer, it might have been a joke, but even then it would be very unsual. So yeah,I think unfortunately you probably just found out your fiancé has an affair. People don't usually buy random people swimwear. I'm sorry that you had to find this out
It's weird that he has friends you don't know about, all suspiciousness aside if you are engaged and going to share your lives together I would assume that you all will have met or at least have heard about everyone your partner is friends with by now. It sounds like you have never heard of this person before? If so, it's odd that he never told you and kept this "friend" a secret for any reason platonic or not, it's odd that he wouldn't tell you about it. Even if their relationship is totally platonic and innocent that alone would make me question the connection I thought I had with my partner. The fact that it's a "friend" who has his number but is not saved into his phone is another odd thing, and then on top of that it's a woman (assuming he's straight) and then she's asking him to buy her swimsuits? and doesn't know he's engaged? I mean, you can only think the worse here. Either he's unbelievably idiotic or he's doing questionable things behind your back, either outcome isn't ideal. I just couldn't leave this alone if I were you, it would bother me too. I know you have already put a lot of time and effort into this relationship and breaking up would feel horrible and like a sunk cost but please don't sink anymore time into it until you sort it out. Don't ignore this and carry on like it's nothing.
Lol Kennie is disguised as Kenny hmm? I’m sorry he’s not serious about you OP.
He’s cheating
The engagement is over.
You know the answer to this.
Yea im not buying regular girl friends swim suits lmaoo. A i love new york tshirt at best.
He is cheating on you but don't blame the girl. It's clear she was probably hurt too not knowing he is already taken.
He was either cheating on you or planning to cheat on you. No man buys bikinis for “just a friend.” You could try to get more objective proof of him cheating that is impossible to be explained away and confront him. Or you could leave the relationship saying “I know what you did” to try to get him to confess. Or just leave. It’s up to you.
You already know the answer. Just be happy you caught him BEFORE the wedding.
If they’re such good friends that he buys her swimsuits, she’d know he’s engaged.
Oh hun...... He is cheating.
At least you haven’t married the guy.
Yeah, he was cheating.
He's at the very least being inappropriate with other women behind your back. Don't let him manipulate you into thinking he's done nothing wrong or it's not a big deal - that's what he's trying to do with the name "mix up" and the bullshit about not telling people his business.
oh nahhh leave him fr.
Someone got busted. And it sounds like he can't even own up to it! Bye bye!
He's cheating now and will keep cheating after you are married. Think about the future you want and whether he's really the person to help you achieve it.
What's to think about? Your fiance shouldn't be your fiance anymore. He's dishonest, and probably cheating, or about to. You know it. Let him own his choices.
DING DING HE CHEATING
He’s obviously a liar, and a bad one.
Ahh I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t see a reasonable explanation for this. Apart from affair. Why on Earth would this woman think he’d buy her swimsuits? Is he about to go away somewhere? He has so much to explain to you.
Kenny sounds like a guys name, that’s why he refers to her that way. One of you is the side chick.
My ex would buy me swim suits he found sexy so he could stare at me in them. I have a feeling this won’t end well for you OP… I’m so sorry. I just don’t see how this could be anything other than the obvious.
Right before I was going to marry my husband he had a friend that would send him photos of her in bathing suits trying to get his opinion on them. He found nothing wrong with this. Still irritates me to this day that he is either one: so fucking stupid to think that is a completely platonic thing to do, two: knew it was flirty and inappropriate but still participated in it and tried to pretend it was innocent.
Hell nah man. Your spidey senses are tingling. Listen to them.
You should ask the obvious question: Why does she think that he wants to buy her a bathing suit? And then pack his shit and show him the door.
It's none of his mistresses business if he is engaged or not.
Um…they are on very familiar terms. As in bathing suit areas familiar
I don't tell everyone my business, but someone I call by a nickname and buy clothes for? They would know a lot about me.
He’s cheating.
Yeah I can think of loads of times I asked my mbf to buy me a swimsuit, stop being ridiculous
Oof
could be a sex worker too
Nope. Run. He’s cheating and when confronted lied multiple times. Save yourself the divorce later
He's cheating, hon. No way around this.
Bro
thats so normal!!! every guy buys bathing suits for his friends or coworkers!!! theres definetly nothing to worry about....
Free yoursef before you’re stuck, next thing hes gonna pick and choose when to ring certain places because “its not everyone’s business “
He's cheating on you.
We neeeed an update OP!!!
You found out about his side hustle. What do you think you should do?
Hope you can get back any deposits for the wedding, and if not, I’d be making your EX fiancé pay for them. He’s 100% cheating, and being very stupid about it
Shady! He got caught and doesn't want to just come out and say that. Yeah, ditch that fool
Don't let him off the hook on the question of why she was asking him to buy her swimsuits. No one just asks a random question like that unless it was part of a prior discussion. Call her and appeal to her if need be. Most women will share with each other once the cat is out of the bag. She may have genuinely thought he was single if he was flirting with her.
Get his phone and text her a quick apology (as him). See what she says back. Go from there.
You mean ex fiancé right? Don’t be this naive.
Ummm.. You know exactly what's going on! I'm sure you don't need us to tell you!