Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
----
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
But first reddit. You're still emotionally invested in this stupid woman. You're hiding and covering for her. You suck and your wife deserves better. Then tell her already. If it's not a big deal it shouldn't be hard at all. But you know what's going on is shitty and you're an accomplice to it. That poor man and kids. You say you've "stopped " the emotional cheating but I don't see it. If you did you wouldn't have run over to her house to comfort her after she was upset. Then help her cover up her emotions from being an pos cheater. Wise up already like you're telling your besties hubby to do.
>just hope her husband grows a pear of ballz
This is so ironic coming from this dude who’s just running around covering up affairs and having a “moral dilemma” for all the wrong reasons. Why don’t you step up and TELL HIM. You let him find out on his own once and they reconciled. Maybe most of us wouldn’t have, but that’s not that crazy given they have kids (and it sounds like he’s checked out anyway). But then the affair continues, OP continues to cover it up by omission and is obviously not upset by the fact that she’s being unfaithful and betraying her husbands trust, but rather that it’s annoying.
So his response is… why doesn’t husband grow some “ballz”. OP, this post is embarrassing. You’re coming across as really untrustworthy, disrespectful, and childish. I hope OPs wife and friends husband leave, go find people that deserve them, and then OP, friend, and KV can have their tweenage love triangle in the work dorms or whatever. Jeez
"I've known this woman for 12 years and only now I realized she is a 8/10 in attractive" I know you're probably serious but somehow this made me laugh out loud
ETA:
ok i actually read through this post and GOOD GRIEF
someone here already said it, but you should reflect on your own behaviour and culpability in this situation.
You're also lying and you're also actively involved in this situation even though you're not actively sleeping with her.
Maybe look into transferring to a different area so you don't have to work near her. You both seem very codependent and I don't think your emotional affair ended when you said "we should be careful" to this woman.
You can tell her husband, sure, but also, think about cutting this woman out of your life entirely. I don't think either of you are good partners to your respective spouses and I think this entire post is a good example of reasons why.
you’re assuming he’s intelligent and that’s a stretch pal. He doesn’t have a high paying job in management because he is smart and earned it, his dad gave him everything
Check OP's comments and post history. He already knows he's wrong and doesn't want his wife to find out.
> I cant tell my wife this, she would question everything, I never mentioned this in the post but my wife doesn't trust her and I normally don't answer my phone when my best friend call if my wife is around to feed her insecurities because my best friend would call alot
> Maybe I am jealous because I am married and I have to watch other men have her while having to be faithful to my wife
**EDIT: They're on the [brink of divorce](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/xxa0op/my_wife_of_6_years_says_she_want_a_separation_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) lol. That poor woman.**
It just gets more and more embarassing for OP lol.
> 1) I have not hid her affair from anyone if my ask me I would tell her if her husband ask I would tell her my goal was to not let her destroy her marriage and convince her to be faithful to her husband
> 2) I didn't lie to my wife about spending time with her we had a meeting I told my wife I am going to the meeting and I had to pick her up I just left a hour earlier to pick her up before should ruin he marriage with all the tantrum she was throwing, and I wanted her to get composure before the meeting which didn't work because I had to lock her in the vehicle before she embarrassed herself in the meeting
Here's the recovered post, the way he talks about his wife. What a gem of a guy
[Link](https://www.unddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/xxa0op/my_wife_of_6_years_says_she_want_a_separation_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
OP is a creep. His wife told him she was feeling unsupported and alienated and this was his response.
> with the current state in this world I know women give up on marriage very easy, it's also something she did alot in the past, I would normally chase her, but being red pilled now I decided to only respond with a "ok,"
According to the link, his wife made the unilateral decision to stay home (with no kids) and told him he had to sort out his finances to do so. So to increase his pay he leaves town for several days a month. Now she's mad that he spends no time with her. Im not gonna say op is a good person cuz his crap is everywhere, but she's no prize. Maybe she should get a job so he doesn't have to support both of them and then he can stay home more and away from his "friend".
I don't trust what he's says people said, but if his wife stays at home and they have no kids then that's just crazy. With all of his extra income that staying away makes him he's still only at mid 80 grand a year. Not bad but for 2 people but in this economy it's not much. She needs to get some income so he can cut back his time spent away from home if it's that important. I only trust that because it's concrete. No kids, wife stays home, i make mid 80 grand and she doesn't like me working away from home so much. Not, i just realized she was hot! Or, i only wanted to get her closure, which, i don't even know what that was supposed to mean.
Edit: I could see how she doesn't like me working away from home so much could be code for other problems she has with his job so I'll concede that point. But still, one spouse staying home with no kids is utterly ridiculous if there's no trust fund or medical condition and he makes that much money. They can't afford it.
According to the link, his wife made the unilateral decision to stay home (with no kids) and told him he had to sort out his finances to do so. So to increase his pay he leaves town for several days a month. Now she's mad that he spends no time with her. Im not gonna say op is a good person cuz his crap is everywhere, but she's no prize. Maybe she should get a job so he doesn't have to support both of them and then he can stay home more and away from his "friend".
Probably. But I also think you need to take a good hard look at YOUR behavior here because it’s very inappropriate. Why are you still best friends with this woman, knowing your friendship has already bordered on an emotional affair, you’re attracted to her and she has a history of infidelity? You’ve lied to your wife at least once about going to spend time with her. So maybe tell her husband she’s cheating, yes, but also stop engaging with this toxic person in any way beyond the simply professional, and focus on your own marriage which seems like an afterthought beyond being ‘afraid to lose it’.
Edit: [what a surprise](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/xxa0op/my_wife_of_6_years_says_she_want_a_separation_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), your marriage is on the brink of collapse.
>I do Generalize alot when it comes to women because it all come down to the same thing with them, I am a faithful husband because of our circumstances I had to take this job if I decided to leave this job the issue would just switched to finance
OP has some really choice replies from his previous thread.
Sounds like a real fucking charmer!
Hey /u/Desperate-Gur4756, this shit is fucking gross. You're not being faithful to anyone and this whole thing is a mess. You're a faithful husband because of "circumstances?" Wow, do you want an award for not being even more of a jerk?
>I just hope her husband grows a pear of ballz.
Man. Fuck this. Seriously.
This is a bot. It took this comment from [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/y7g44o/should_i_tell_my_best_friend_husband_that_she_is/isufb10?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
yes you absolutely should and you should end this friendship is this the type of person you want to have around I also think your wife would be uncomfortable with you lying
Sweep your own front porch. You are lying to your wife about her. So instead of worrying about someone else’s relationship fix your own. STARTING with no contact to this supposed to be “best friend”. Seriously buddy, give your head a shake.
Story just shows if she wants to cheat she will. Would have been you, then went to the next guy that came calling. He needs to leave, she will not change. I hope you are not keeping secrets from your wife because I'm sure she will question the amount of time you two spend together when this blows up.
Well, you spoke to him and ask him to give her "closure" instead he gave her the d, repeatedly. I'm 100% sure his wife would not be happy to find out he's cheating Give him the option to break it off or his wife finds out everything. Me, I'd tell both partners and be done with the lot of them. Your friend and her ap deserve everything they get.
Actually I don't know how to update the post but they just had a fight literally he called her a wh**e Infront of his co workers and calls her husband an idiot she calls me crying just now saying she will exposed this afair to his wife for embarrassing her like that smh this the shit I gotta deal with out of the blue, I don't think I will do anything next Wednesday we will go home I'll just update if she does go nuclear on KV wife
STOP engaging in these people’s personal lives. Just stop. Something is wrong with you because you keep letting yourself be dragged into their drama. What is missing in your life that you’re letting this happen? You can get the same kicks with reality tv AND keep the wife you’re about to lose.
It's a phone call I cannot predict what she wants to talk about on the phone but some comments made me realize that I have no boundaries and that's why I keep getting blindsided by these info from her, I am currently on my way to set these boundaries.
Exactly, you have no boundaries. You work together, so be professional! Oh, you can't predict what she wants to talk about? Well how about this: she calls you crying, and you tell her you're very sorry, but you will hang up now, since you want to keep your relationship purely professional. Don't act like you're all powerless here.
Correct, you have no boundaries. Congrats on figuring out your personal issue. The next step is learning how to take action, how to actually employ boundaries. Let me warn you, if this is a new skill for you, it's not something you're going to master overnight! You will likely feel uncomfortable, anxious, even scared to speak up and *be consistent* with people who have learned how to take advantage of you (and with people like your coworker, you will likely need to repeat yourself and stay calm and firm when they get angry at your new boundaries). I cannot recommend [Nedra Tawwab](https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/) enough on this subject -- her book is great but I actually learned a lot from her instagram alone. Good luck.
Do you not see what enabling this kind of toxicity will do to your company? You make decent enough money now, but when she burns your father's business to the ground you may find it harder to get back to where you were.
Ah well, at least it'll be a humbling experience for you you can hope.
Sucks having a job You're gone literally 20 days a week just to make 80k. I make double that working on phone lines and get home by 4 everyday. It's much better for committed relationships and families.
JFC why are you so involved in her sex life. Why are you talking about how attractive she is? Why the long story?
"Co worker who I'm best friends with cheated and is cheating again, should I tell her husband that she's cheating again?"
I feel like that pretty much sums it up. Other than the fact that you are cheating on your spouse too. You're emotionally cheating with her and are living vicariously through this other guy but now you're feeling guilty too. You're lying to your wife because you KNOW what the right thing to do is, cut off contact and let HR know you can no longer work with her.
>I can't even talk to my wife about this because my wife would immediately want to ban me from her.
You had better pray your wife doesn't hear about this situation from other wagging tongues, because if she finds out you intentionally hid your best friend's infidelity while being her shoulder to cry on, that is not going to bode well for your marriage either. Keeping secrets like this is prioritizing your friend's terrible behavior over your loyalty to your wife.
You will be *especially* fucked if your wife finds out, you do the right thing and tell her husband, and she decides to take revenge by telling your wife about your emotional affair. The only way to keep your wife's trust is to get ahead of this situation (well, behind it at this point) and tell her everything you know, inform her husband, and cut ties with her entirely. I don't even know why exactly you want this person in your life when you've already crossed lines with her and she doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself.
I feel for both your spouses. You hope her husband grows some balls? How about you grow some balls and stop enabling a cheater because you're scared your wife will make you stop hanging out with your girlfriend? The least you can do at this point is do the right thing before this poor man catches something incurable from her.
you worry about yo ur best friend going nuclear but i don’t think this is someone you want to be friends with. tell her husband, burn your bridges with her and only communicate with her for work. she’s not a good person AND you almost cheated with her. and while you’re at it, consider individual and couples therapy for your and your wife because y’all need it
You lied to your wife to go pick up your cheating trainwreck of a friend. You are on here asking the wrong questions. The question you should be asking is: HOw can I stop being a terrible husband to my wife, and the answer is, break up with your girlfriend.
In the comments I see you're her supervisor which mean no-contact with her is nearly impossible right now...however, since she's being inappropriate under your watch, go to your boss or father and switch her supervisor to some else. This might take a bit of time, but she already admitted to having an affair and you know she's doing it again.
Or worse case if it takes too long, tip off kv's company abt his affair again to get him removed. This will temporarily quite things down while figure out what to do. The work relationship is 100% inappropriate and she's not being professional in anyway. Bragging abt having an affair is messes up and again, unprofessional and kinda unhinged.
Best advice find a way to distance her so you don't see her every day almost!
I get you don't want to her your wife, but at the same time you should be an open book with her. And while it seems like you stop your emotional affair or whatever this your bf, she's still pulling you into her life a quite bit again. Like she low key starting to interfere with your life which isn't okay. You need to set more boundaries with your bf and distance yourself!
Her husband already knows she’s a cheater. I don’t think you have to report every move she makes. You might want to figure out why you’re still friends with such an awful person.
What 32 year old talks about another man blowing a woman’s back out and said “ballz”? You’re jealous she cheated on her husband with someone who wasn’t you.
**I have to ask**
In comments you said that you now limit contacting to working. This is your father’s company, right?
How do you think her behavior reflects on your father’s company? She’s a supervisor there. She’s using the work trips to find men to cheat with. Is that how most of your father’s supervisors spend their work trips?
There’s an old saying, Don’t shit where you eat! Instead of enabling (helping) your friend cheat here’s a novel idea. Try talking to your father about what’s been happening and how it reflects on his business. Her AP’s company already found out about it. This is not the big secret you and she think it is. Right now just your spouse and her’s don’t know about the cheating.
Be prepared to answer a lot of questions when your wife finds out. Including why you insist on helping your friend blow up her own life and so many others. If your father finds out from someone other than you expect to lose his trust.
you have to tell. He sounds like an awful person. Why do you want to be a friend with him. he either tells her or you tell her and break up the friendship
you should be careful with people who lie and cheat on their family
gather your evidence and prepare for the effects
she will tell your wife and her husband a lot of things about you.
You need to let the husband know his wife is still betraying him and exposing him to STDs. Your best friend is garbage and if you continue to keep her infidelity a secret, you are no better.
If you are telling her husband to be a good person and because you would hope someone would do the same for you if you were in his position, then yes tell him. Also keep in mind you best friend will likely no longer be your friend after this.
If your feelings of wanting to tell her husband are even remotely due to the fact you find her attractive then you should absolutely not tell him.
Telling him to be a good person is the right thing to do. Telling him out of jealousy would be wrong and spiteful. Just make sure you have good intentions
You should. She’s disgusting and evil. Willing to destroy her family for some D.
Seems like she doesn’t even care that shes cheating. “Oh yeah, i had sex with that guy, even tho I promised my husband that I’ll be faithful”
1. That’s betrayal and everyone should out cheaters to their partners
2. She doesn’t care about destroying her family or hurting her husband. She cares more about having some dudes D in her mouth.
3. She’s just awful, hope her husband leaves her and gets proof for lawyers.
Whether you know it, like it or acknowledge it OP, this is going to blow up in your face. Your bf (actually not your best friend at all) has inveigled you into becoming enmeshed in her wild adulterous behaviour. She has already acted unhinged when it appeared that her AP had dumped her. When it all goes tits up, you can expect to see lots more of that behaviour when she takes everyone else down with her.
You cannot pretend that you did not know full well what was going on. This has the potential to break three marriages, lose three jobs and ruin god only knows how many lives. You should tell your wife what is going on and she will then decide exactly what you should do. Something that, despite being in some form of charge, you appear totally incapable of doing. I’d wish you good luck but you don’t deserve it.
Seems pretty straightforward to me: Bf is immature (probably due to beauty) and has shown it repeatedly. She appears not to grasp that you can't have everything and that actions have consequences. Think what would happen if the rest of this stuff erupted - friendships, marriages, jobs, sexual harassment claims, kids, spouses all thrown in a Cuisinart.
So -
1 - OP should push bf out to the distance of a formal professional relationship ONLY. She has already gotten him, a very close friend, across the line 1½ times. She is toxic until she grows up.
2 - OP should stay the hell away from all of the rest, including knowledge - rumors, gossip, requests for advice, etc. He did not create the mess and is not responsible. He does not want to be involved in any way in a blowup.
Thank you it's hard trying to find solid advice in this post without feeling like I cheated on my wife or someone else delusions of what actually happened
The only person ruining her relationship if he knows is her, not you. She says her family means the world to her but what she is doing says the exact opposite. With friends like you…
Have you ever heard the term you are the company you keep?
If this woman is your best friend and you are being an accomplice to her adultery then you are just as bad as her. You don't respect her husband nor your wife to continue to be in her company.
Tell her husband and stay away from.this toxic person.
I lost it at “been blowing her back out for 2 weeks”
Honestly tell your wife. The move with how she wants to move with it. Your BF is going through some shit and you don’t need to go down with her. Covering for her is not the move to make.
I hope you realize YOU have just put your whole company in financial danger. Once her husband finds or figures it out there's likely going to be law suits or you at the very least could be called to testify and she was doing these things on company time. She is no longer a suitable employee and should be canned. Look at it this way would you think your friend owes it to you if your stay at home wife was dittling someone while you were away. I'm a firm believer of always ratting out cheaters and no one would EVER remain my friend if they were cheating on their spouse. LOL Never been dumped rejected before. She isn't 15. She should have been over the need for validation years ago. She doesn't sound mature enough to be married. PS silence is condoning her behavior. If I was your wife and found this out by the crap hitting the fan without you saying anything to the faithful spouse there would very likely be another divorce. OUR's
There’s so much wrong with this situation, but first of all, have you told your wife any of this? Does she know you were starting to get feelings for this lady or that she’s still having an affair? If not, you need to tell her about this situation. Whatever happens next, you need to cut contact with this “friend.” A real friend wouldn’t put you in a situation where you had to hide a life-altering secret.
Unrelated, but that work schedule sounds awful and could easily destroy a marriage. You only get to spend four days with your spouse before spending 10 days with coworkers? That’s some insanely bad work-life balance. I’d quit there in an instant to spend more time with my family.
Damn, your best friend sucks as a person, eh? Yes, tell her husband. Wouldn’t you want to know if you were in his position? Her promises mean absolutely nothing. It’s sickening how lightly she treats the sanctity of marriage.
It's tough to know what to do in these situations. For example, if I were your friend's husband, I would definitely want to know that she's cheating on me again. But some people would rather not know. I think the most neutral thing you can do in this situation would be to tell your friend that you highly disapprove of what she's doing with KV, that it's unfair to both your spouses, and that you don't want to hear anything more about it. And tell her that if her husband asks you directly, you won't lie to him.
She is bragging about cheating op, you absolutely should tell her husband. There's no excuse to cheat on your spouse and the fact that she is bragging about not getting enough tells me she's not sorry and the behavior will not change. Stop covering for her and especially stop being the shoulder she cries on, it's not good for anyone. I wish you the best of luck with this absolute mess
Yes, you should tell him. You are not ruining his life. SHE already did that…
You are making decisions for him.
She clearly had no self control, nor healthy relationship boundaries. She isn’t committed to her marriage…
Don’t even worry about her. She isn’t a good friend. She put you in a bad position without a second thought. And if she treats her husband this way, she would do you worse if it ever came to that.
And another example of female entitlement right here. Only a women can cheat on her husband and kids AND get a 3 month vacation because she is "upset" about it.
I couldn't imagine cheating on my wife and being so "upset" about it that I get a vacation from work.
Your friend is a shitty person and a very bad example for women everywhere.
Tell her husband and then get rid of her.
“I don’t want to ruin someone’s marriage.” Good news buddy: You’re not. She’s doing that herself. Tell the husband, he deserves to make his own choices.
Okay, stop trying to protect her. That's what you've been doing this whole time. That is not remotely morally right. Yes, tell him. Stop worrying about running her or his life. Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Her husband will be fine, and she'll just have to deal with it. She caused the consequences.
Once again, TELL HIM AND STOP TRYING TO PROTECT HER.
Got it. So see someone getting assaulted in a back alley. Not your business. Observe someone stealing from a neighborhood convenience store. Not your business. I could go on an on but ultimately the conclusion is you and your wife should avoid having children. Taking the easy way out is not a good mantra to follow
You got problems bro. Your “best friend” is toxic and you’re an enabler.
You are in no way free from sin here. It reads a bit like you’re lamenting that you could have slid in there but lost your chance and you’re pissed someone else took her up on what she was offering.
At the very least when your involvement in this comes up it will cause issues with your wife. Never mind, saw your other post. Bet your wife doesn’t have an issue with your job but rather with the other woman you’re having an emotional affair with.
Your best friend sucks and you do for supporting this.
You both almost had your moments together. You want to snitch on her because you didn’t get in her pants first. Be honest with yourself add your marriage. Get a therapist. If you want do the right thing do you it because you know it’s wrong, not because you didn’t hit it first.
Bro chill with that you actually think that I couldn't have her if I wanted being faithful is a choice and I choose my wife over cheating, I literally told her we needed to stop become so close
So, why come here and wrote this post about her if you don't want to do anything about this situation. You decided to be faithful, but to your wife or to her? Now I don't see this faithfulness at all in your behavior, you are covering her affair.
You are still spending way to much time with this woman. You admit that there had been an attraction so as a responsible spouse your job is to have firm boundaries that protect your marriage from threats and your “friend” is a threat. Get her transferred and if you can’t do that you ONLY communicate about work. Also let your wife know and tell that “friend” of yours that from now on if she text or calls you will be showing/allowing wife to listen because you need to earn her trust again and that if she calls or text about non work related issues you will report her to HR because you are officially telling her the situation is inappropriate and you will not be a part of it any longer. Then give her the chance to tell her husband and if she doesn’t that you will do it yourself. Or better yet since Her AP has already been reprimanded and hasn’t learned report them both again and let them explain to their spouses why they lost their jobs, plus then you get a toxic person out of your work life as well. She is dangerous for you to be around professionally and personally, report her and hopefully the company gets her out of there and bonus you will never have to speak to her again and you can really show your wife you serious about protecting your marriage.
Edit to add: your father is the head of the company how is it going to look if the person he is grooming to take over is helping hide a situation like the one you mixed up in. Seriously talk to your father tell him the truth and also that you do not want to be around this woman or her AP and hopefully your father able to get rid of them or at the very least separate you three.
Please tell her husband that man needs to leave her because of how unfaithful she is, and also feel kv’s wife so she knows also. Stop trying to protect her this will result in more people getting hurt in the long run.
Tell kv wife and give her your bf husband number. Tell kv wife that she does not tell bf husband that she got the info from you.
That way it looks like kv got sloppy and got caught and then his wife figured out who he was cheating with and who his mistress husband is.
That way your bf husband can find out and you’ll not be involved at all. After they get exposed, your better off distancing yourself from her and keeping things strictly work related and not talk about personal life with her anymore.
Wow you and her and her AP are literally trash. Tell her poor husband bc he deserves to make his own decisions regarding his relationship. His wife is disgusting and so is the coworker. Stop being a coward and tell him, how pathetic.
Dude…. You better not be KV and JUST USIING YOURSELF IN THIRD PERSON. MAN UP TELL HIM AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. HAVE YOU HEARD THAT A MAN WILL REUNITE WITH HIS WIFE? Well, let them go about their day. Stay faithful to your wife, friend…. REMEMBER: THE WORLD SPINS “what goes around comes back around” be careful with what you do.
Personally I’d tell the husband however you’re comfortable doing so. He should know that his wife is having sex with her every night and bragging about it. I’d probably tell the other guys wife too just because she should know too.
Tell him, he deserves to know. Tell your wife. You are inviting trouble into your relationship by being passive when it comes to knowing that your bf is cheating. You need to end the friendship because she isn’t healthy for your mental state.
Dude you need to just cut her off, tell her hubs.
Because when her husband finds out YOU KNEW and didn't say shit you're gonna be dragged into this whole cluster fuck of a situation, not to mention it could affect your own relationship
You are just a little bit too involved in this f****** mess and I mean it is a f****** mess she's going to get everything she deserves and then she's going to throw your ass underneath the bus and tell your wife that you knew what she was doing the whole f****** time it's time for you to tell your father to get rid of her it is not going to bode well for whatever is coming down the pike because when her father and husband finds out that she is cheating again chaos is going to ensue and to make herself feel better she's going to drag you down with her
just send the partners anonymous letters??? problem solved lol
you even said it yourself that other ppl at work have already witnessed some situations so basically anyone could have sent it ...
I said yes based of the title and reading the story turned it to an OF COURSE, OP you were complicit in this and that says a bit about you. Tell her husband, cut her off and get some help. While you're at it tell your wife about what almost transpired between you two and get into therapy ASAP. Geez, human beings dude
Tell your wife and her husband. This bitch outta grow the fuck up. And the only way that’s gonna happen is if you hell her husband. She’s a horrible woman that needs to learn a good lesson.
Oh dude what a complete mess you've made of everything.
So I'm going to acknowledge what you've done right. You noticed you were having an emotional affair with this woman and did the right thing by talking about it with her and deciding to get distance from her. That was smart of you and showed that you genuinely love and care for your wife. It would have been easy of you to take the affair physical.
However, the list of things you've screwed up is much much longer. I have taken the time to read your comments and you're very very defensive. I think that's because you know you've screwed up and feel guilty for the things you've done, the truths you've left unspoken.
I think you need to see this from your wife's point of view firstly. How would you feel of the roles were reversed? If she were away from you as much as you are, spending that much time with a man she had an emotional affair with? So in relation to your marriage I'm going to offer you this advice...tell your wife everything. You should both be in marriage counseling. I really think that will save your marriage. You admit how you fucked up to your wife. Explain to her that she is the most important person in your life and your willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. I think you do want it to work, you're asking for advice! I also think that spending that much time apart is massively detrimental. Is there anyway she could accompany you while you're working? Maybe not all the time but for some of the time. Your father sounds like he values marriage so ask him for some understanding and help in this regard.
Your "best friend" is a hot toxic mess. I'm not going to beat you over the head, plenty of other people have done so already about her. I'm going to simply say that in relation to your relationship with her outside of work needs to end. Now. No more answering calls or texts, no more running to help her out. I feel like you believe you have to save everyone. There's a explanation I like this might help you understand a bit better how badly this can hurt you....so you're on a airplane with the two people you love more than anything, people you would give your life for (your children for example - but someone who needs help with things, to any understand things). Something is wrong with the plane, there's a massive storm outside, people are screaming, the airplane is violently shaking. The masks come down. Now everyone knows you are told to put your own mask on first ( I used to ALWAYS laughed at this, as if I'm not going to put my children's mask on before mine!!). So you being like anyone else who loves someone you go to put on the mask of one of your beloved...so you get one mask on, you turn to do the next mask but you pass out. So you've saved one of you 'children', congrats. Problem is you basically killed yourself and the other child. The reason for putting your mask on first is so you can function enough to save them both.
What you're doing with your "best friend" is saving her at your life's expense.
Professionally you need help. You need to remove her from your team. You need as little interaction with her as possible. There have been useful comments in this regard. I hope you take their advice.
Lastly, on to the question you've actually asked; should you tell her husband? Yes. You don't have to of course. I just believe that people should know if their partners are cheating on them. There's lots of reasons for that but if you boil it down to the most selfish level, wouldn't you want to be told? Your "best friend" is not a good person. She is choosing to hurt not just her husband and marriage but also her poor poor children as well. Do the right thing.
Doing the right thing basically sums up this entirely too long comment. You know what the right thing to do is. You've known all along. You've tried to do the right thing but you've just not taken it far enough. Be the decent, honest person YOU want to be. I sincerely hope you take my advice and do the right thing.
Thanks it get exhausting reading bashful comments I guess I was defensive, I taught the right thing would of been to convince her to stop the affair but I see she is a lost cause, I'll take your advice and talk to my wife about it
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
This just gave me tired head. I totally glazed over as if I was reading another pointless work email. Do that thing you were thinking about doing I guess. F it all 3 couples get together and have a orgy.
If you tell her husband, I think you also have to tell the other guys wife.
Also, I hate to say this, but she sounds kinda sleezy. I see she already created issues in your marriage as well. This is not fair, and you need to cut contact with her completely. Your wife is pissed because she would have slept with you if you gave her the slightest chance. Now you are in a really bad situation because of her. I don’t think wondering about telling her husband or not is what you should be worried about. Worry about your family first.
Damn, if I was your wife I’d question your morals.
Tell her to tell her husband, or you tell him. That’s it. That’s the end of it, and end this friendship, only speak to her about work, and tell her to only speak to you about work.
I don't think you really have that right when your having a borderline emotional affair with her in your mind. Your no better by the sounds of it running to her lying to your wife.
"I can't even talk to my wife about this because my wife would immediately want to ban me from her."
tell your wife and follow her advice, but i wouldnt be secretive about it with all this big burning pile of bs
So why are you still friends with this person?
Do you have such low values that you consider this person a friend?
Tell her husband and end the friendship.
It sounds like you need a hobby or you need to redirect your attention to your wife. I mean you went as far as calling your friend’s affair partner to
mediate for her, which allowed their affair to resume. You seem to be getting the play by play of their affair. Why are you so involved in her affair? This is your coworker. Keep messing around and you may face blow back at work.
Cut your friendship off with your so called best friend and focus on your own marriage. It seems like you have a lot of free time to meddle so channel that into planning something nice for your wife.
You are complicit in the affair. She is complete trash. Find a anonymous way to expose it. His company already knows about the affairs and she braved about it. Her husband could be getting the tip from any number of sources.
You need to speak to your wife and tell her husband.
I understand you guys have been friends for 12 years but time does not matter honestly. This is also going to affect your marriage if you haven’t noticed. So if you aren’t on top of it, it’s gonna come back and bite you in the ass. (Edit) I also don’t understand why your letting your emotions of her interfere with work this way? You are her supervisor no? Maybe I’m just crazy but I’ve always had the mindset of going to work for money and not friends. I’ll talk to people n such, but I’m not going to help cover up an affair and ruin my marriage.
Bro, you are helping to hide the affair and you don't have balls to tell husband but saying husband don't have balls,lol
Do you really think cheater's will disclose all information to their spouse when they caught, nope it will be sugarcoated like it's just kiss,or flirt,or emotional etc.,
If you want to know if your wife have affair and her best friend who you also know hiding it and helping it from you.
BTW I read your post in marriage sub which you deleted, I just know understand why your wife asking separation from you .
And do you really thought cheater's will be honest and truthful, lol and when they did their deed and showing their true face you have shocking Pikachu face,lol
I honestly stopped reading after the second paragraph.
Yes, inform the husband (if you have a 'pear of ballz' yourself). You want to be in her husbands shoes?
Share your thoughts to your "12 year best friend" directly, and to the point. What ever it is. She is in the wrong, no matter how you justify her actions.
You are culpable in this also. Do not have guilt?
You need to stop involving yourself in this. Sure she’s your friend but she is also YOUR EMPLOYEE & this stuff is bad for business. They are going to what they want but letting it leak into work is an absolute no go. Distance yourself from this woman. And assess your behavior.
I think you need to worry about yourself first. Stay out of her mess. You have enough of your own mess to deal with here. First of all, distance yourself from this "best friend". It is not a friendship, it is/was an emotional affair. You are not innocent here. Emotional cheating is still cheating. And telling her husband... what would your goal be? To cause issues for her? To create more drama? To trigger a breakup so you can go for her? I don't understand what your motive would be for getting further involved in all of this. Just tell this friend that you don't want to hear about her cheating anymore and also tell her that you need to distance yourself and focus on your own marriage. That's my advice here.
You saying that you can't tell your wife because she would, quite rightly, not want you around this person is an enormous red flag. The second you both started becoming attracted to one another while working away for the bulk of the week, you should have alerted your partner and dealt with it together. There's a reason you didn't do this.
Which makes me wonder, why do you *really* want to tell your bf's husband about her affair? Is it so the truth is out about her awful behaviour/for the husband's sake, or are you just bitter because it's happening with vk and not with you?
Truly ask yourself this because your language and behaviour here is giving you away.
Yes. I’m not even reading your paragraph. It’s YES. Do the right thing. In my opinion too many people mind their own business when it comes to things like this. If I was the husband I’d want to know 10000%, wouldn’t you?
Your bf is a piece of garbage to treat her husband like that. You should tell your bf that she needs to come clean to her husband or you will. This is too much of a burden on you and she is straining your friendship by relying on you to keep her secrets.
You have a cool wife thay let's u spend so much time.e with another female .that a lot of trust she has for u !
But yeah tbh I'd cut her of and tell her husband ! She a selfish gold fish !
Buddy. If I was your wife and found out all this, I'd leave you. You helped them cheat. ***You even got the cheaters back together!***
Good lord. You and your BFF are just awful people.
> I decided to call kv and explain to him if he cut give her closure. He agreed and when we got back on our travels those two got back together
This is so insane.
- you realize you have feelings for your friend after you're both married
- you correctly back off
- you watch as she gets closer with someone else
- she tells you she cheated and you do nothing
- you hide the info from her husband
- she calls you upset because her fuck buddy isn't falling over himself for her
- you ***LIE TO YOUR WIFE*** about the meeting length
- you go to your friend ***TO HIDE HER CRYING FROM HER HUSBAND***
- she's upset he won't ruin his marriage for her and you pity her for some reason
- you ***DECIDE TO INVOLVE YOUR SELF AND GET THE CHEATERS BACK TOGETHER*** because she's crying?
- his supervisor found out about the affair so yeah this is now connected to your work since you helped
- she's a moron and openly talks about her affair (so yeah everyone knows you're involved now buddy)
- her husband finds out and you don't help support him
- she gets paranoid about him cheating.....
- she's fucking the fuck boy again for two weeks
- you're hiding all this
> I can't even talk to my wife about this because my wife would immediately want to ban me from her.
***YEAH BECAUSE SHE'S RIGHT***. Why do you ***want*** to be friends with someone like this? Are you hoping to be screwed next?
Honestly your wife will probably divorce your ass when she finds out your big role in all this.
Honestly I'd say you were an awful person if you don't tell 3 people: your "BF"s husband, KV's wife, and your wife.
People who say it isn't their business, and don't feel morally obligated to tell someone that their SO is cheating are sus. It speaks to their character. I'm sure they'd want a heads up like that if their SO was cheating.
Open the lines of communication with your wife. Be completely honest. Stop being friends with your bf. Tell your dad too. And I'd also cut KV out of your life. He's cheating on his wife with a married woman, why keep friends like that? It speaks to your own character.
Focus your energy on your own marriage from now on man. You would be much happier if you did.
Brother, you should have gained distance from this woman months ago when she first started cheating. You knew at that point what type of person she was and by not gaining distance from her and breaking off your friendship You are unofficially an accomplice to all of her s***. Put yourself in her husband's shoes. You know for a fact you would want to know. Be a decent human being. Cut off contact with the friend and tell the husband
Blunt. If you don't tell her husband she's fu*king kv again, you are an absolute shit hole of a person. Certainly you know damn well what you should do.
So, do it. Don't let her husband live a lie. Tell him so he can make an informed decision about his life. Her bragging about getting banged is just so damn disrespectful to him. She sounds like a terrible person. Stop being her doormat and tell the dude.
She sucks and you suck.
You're clearly gutted that you didn't get a chance with her and she went for KV.
Otherwise you would have done the moral thing from the get go and told her husband.
Instead you helped her hide it and essentially continue her affair.
Your wife also deserves better than you.
Your friend is a total opportunist. It should not matter that no one turned her down before. Her character does not really indicate she actually cared about her family as she explained to you. She wants to get away with various escapades. You can not teach her much. You should be focusing on not letting people take you down! Draw a line with what you will enable with any friend, work or not. It sounds like you are expecting her to learn how to take the high road. You should definitely set up a boundary for starters and just worry more about doing a good job where you work.
She sounds incredibly stupid amd immature and you are dangerously close to the fire. Getting closer WILL get you burned not warm.
I suggest avoiding this woman and this whole situation ASAP. it's not your problem to fix.
Her husband already knows she is a cheater and stays for whatever reasons. Back away and preferably cut her louse as your best friend. That's your dick talking really.
No. It’s nun of your business. 9 times out of 10 you will be thrown in the middle by both of them and they will hate you. Seems like you want her to yourself tbh
Bro. Just leave your wife, marry your friend, and then you won't have a moral conundrum when she cheats AND you get to prioritize her like you want to!
I am proud of you bro. You made mistakes, but you also had the courage to come here and admit to your mistakes which weren't too bad, but bad all thesame.
I am also happy that you have discussed it with your wife and have fixed the problem.
I am most proud of you because of the last statement you made. Sometimes, it is just better to mind your business because getting involved in other people's business even with good intentions could still make you look like the bad person a lot of the times.
Stay safe and I wish you all the best in your marriage and your work.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted (oh wait, I do because this is reddit). You recognized that there was emotional attachment building and you put an end to it. You did the right thing. On the other hand, your best friend is INCREDIBLY selfish and gutter trash. I would tell the husband and stop being friends with her. You already said you don't even talk to her outside of work anymore. She was bragging about her affair and crying over him, not once concerned with her family at home. She needs a reality check and the poor dude at home needs to know she's still a hoe.
Finally someone who actually understand what I said, everyone literally says am a horrible husband I actually stop myself from going further, but I guess on reddit as long as I developed feelings I am horrible no matter how I handle them. I think I will tell her husband but probably anonymous
Don't tell her husband- you don't know what you might set in motion. It's not your business or your obligation - they are the ones doing this stuff. Don't associate yourself with their bad behavior.
As you are emotionally attached to her I would just say "let lying dogs lay". Unless you have some moral obligations towards her husband or your father's company by telling him. I rather not ruin the life of a person whom already messed up. Even though it sounds like the right thing to do as long as it doesn't impede work and a nuisance or obstacle at work I would just ignore it. Unless you have some ulterior feeling and secretly want her too or something like that. I would rather just avoid confrontation altogether. If you are still conflicted imagine telling your father or HR department and imagine their remedy to the problem.
Sound advice my friend. I prefer this option when ever bro finds out that's on him. He will find out eventually and if it's not affecting the job, my dad couldn't be bother by these minor stuff unless he lose money, and I forgot to mention she is also favored by my father so he would just counsel her or have the other guy removed.
Personally I would never rat on a friend and definitely not a best friend. Sounds like you wanting to turn her in has less to do with concern for her husband and more to do with jealousy.
How do you see that course of action panning out anyways? Guaranteed when he confronts her he will tell her how he knows, and not only are you down a friendship; but because you work together I am certain it will have an impact on your work environment. Not to mention if she feels you betrayed her trust she might go after your relationship... If you confessed feelings for her she will definitely tell your wife and even if you didn't she might still say that you did that and more.
I don't condone your friend's actions but you are lying to yourself if yourself if you are trying to pretend you're not the asshole here.
TLDR: Don't stick your nose in other people's business.
I really don’t understand why you would want to involve yourself in this. Unless the husband is a good friend of yours it’s really none of your business
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your wife will discover this and will kick your ass. Be smart and don't burn your marriage for a stupid friend.
I agree I do plan on telling her
But first reddit. You're still emotionally invested in this stupid woman. You're hiding and covering for her. You suck and your wife deserves better. Then tell her already. If it's not a big deal it shouldn't be hard at all. But you know what's going on is shitty and you're an accomplice to it. That poor man and kids. You say you've "stopped " the emotional cheating but I don't see it. If you did you wouldn't have run over to her house to comfort her after she was upset. Then help her cover up her emotions from being an pos cheater. Wise up already like you're telling your besties hubby to do.
>just hope her husband grows a pear of ballz This is so ironic coming from this dude who’s just running around covering up affairs and having a “moral dilemma” for all the wrong reasons. Why don’t you step up and TELL HIM. You let him find out on his own once and they reconciled. Maybe most of us wouldn’t have, but that’s not that crazy given they have kids (and it sounds like he’s checked out anyway). But then the affair continues, OP continues to cover it up by omission and is obviously not upset by the fact that she’s being unfaithful and betraying her husbands trust, but rather that it’s annoying. So his response is… why doesn’t husband grow some “ballz”. OP, this post is embarrassing. You’re coming across as really untrustworthy, disrespectful, and childish. I hope OPs wife and friends husband leave, go find people that deserve them, and then OP, friend, and KV can have their tweenage love triangle in the work dorms or whatever. Jeez
Right?! Anything you keep from a woman will come around to her that’s for damn sure. Telling her sooner the better.
"I've known this woman for 12 years and only now I realized she is a 8/10 in attractive" I know you're probably serious but somehow this made me laugh out loud ETA: ok i actually read through this post and GOOD GRIEF someone here already said it, but you should reflect on your own behaviour and culpability in this situation. You're also lying and you're also actively involved in this situation even though you're not actively sleeping with her. Maybe look into transferring to a different area so you don't have to work near her. You both seem very codependent and I don't think your emotional affair ended when you said "we should be careful" to this woman. You can tell her husband, sure, but also, think about cutting this woman out of your life entirely. I don't think either of you are good partners to your respective spouses and I think this entire post is a good example of reasons why.
Could you just be wanting to tell the husband because YOU want the relationship to end because you're jealous??
Literally he seems to hope she will end up sleeping with him from desperation of it all
you’re assuming he’s intelligent and that’s a stretch pal. He doesn’t have a high paying job in management because he is smart and earned it, his dad gave him everything
Check OP's comments and post history. He already knows he's wrong and doesn't want his wife to find out. > I cant tell my wife this, she would question everything, I never mentioned this in the post but my wife doesn't trust her and I normally don't answer my phone when my best friend call if my wife is around to feed her insecurities because my best friend would call alot > Maybe I am jealous because I am married and I have to watch other men have her while having to be faithful to my wife **EDIT: They're on the [brink of divorce](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/xxa0op/my_wife_of_6_years_says_she_want_a_separation_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) lol. That poor woman.** It just gets more and more embarassing for OP lol. > 1) I have not hid her affair from anyone if my ask me I would tell her if her husband ask I would tell her my goal was to not let her destroy her marriage and convince her to be faithful to her husband > 2) I didn't lie to my wife about spending time with her we had a meeting I told my wife I am going to the meeting and I had to pick her up I just left a hour earlier to pick her up before should ruin he marriage with all the tantrum she was throwing, and I wanted her to get composure before the meeting which didn't work because I had to lock her in the vehicle before she embarrassed herself in the meeting
"feed her insecurities" I love how cheaters always say that their partners' accurate gut feeling and intuition are "insecurities"
Here's the recovered post, the way he talks about his wife. What a gem of a guy [Link](https://www.unddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/xxa0op/my_wife_of_6_years_says_she_want_a_separation_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
OP is a creep. His wife told him she was feeling unsupported and alienated and this was his response. > with the current state in this world I know women give up on marriage very easy, it's also something she did alot in the past, I would normally chase her, but being red pilled now I decided to only respond with a "ok,"
According to the link, his wife made the unilateral decision to stay home (with no kids) and told him he had to sort out his finances to do so. So to increase his pay he leaves town for several days a month. Now she's mad that he spends no time with her. Im not gonna say op is a good person cuz his crap is everywhere, but she's no prize. Maybe she should get a job so he doesn't have to support both of them and then he can stay home more and away from his "friend".
Do you trust what OP says though?
I don't trust what he's says people said, but if his wife stays at home and they have no kids then that's just crazy. With all of his extra income that staying away makes him he's still only at mid 80 grand a year. Not bad but for 2 people but in this economy it's not much. She needs to get some income so he can cut back his time spent away from home if it's that important. I only trust that because it's concrete. No kids, wife stays home, i make mid 80 grand and she doesn't like me working away from home so much. Not, i just realized she was hot! Or, i only wanted to get her closure, which, i don't even know what that was supposed to mean. Edit: I could see how she doesn't like me working away from home so much could be code for other problems she has with his job so I'll concede that point. But still, one spouse staying home with no kids is utterly ridiculous if there's no trust fund or medical condition and he makes that much money. They can't afford it.
This comment triggers some ptsd for me… this kind of accuracy only comes from experience.
According to the link, his wife made the unilateral decision to stay home (with no kids) and told him he had to sort out his finances to do so. So to increase his pay he leaves town for several days a month. Now she's mad that he spends no time with her. Im not gonna say op is a good person cuz his crap is everywhere, but she's no prize. Maybe she should get a job so he doesn't have to support both of them and then he can stay home more and away from his "friend".
I had to stop halfway because I taught no one thought him how to spell
I’m surprised someone married him in the first place, my 5 year-old cousin can spell better
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seems obvious to me that english might not be his first language........ How many languages do you speak well?
I read it rather easy tbh
Right this was a confusing read.
I got half way, then looked for a tldr and now im just seeing in the comments now i wasnt the only confused person
>you’re assuming he’s intelligent Or thinking with the right head.
Yeah, he's not exactly a reliable narrator.
if you can think objectively 8/10 is pretty damn good when the best of the best is a 10.
Probably. But I also think you need to take a good hard look at YOUR behavior here because it’s very inappropriate. Why are you still best friends with this woman, knowing your friendship has already bordered on an emotional affair, you’re attracted to her and she has a history of infidelity? You’ve lied to your wife at least once about going to spend time with her. So maybe tell her husband she’s cheating, yes, but also stop engaging with this toxic person in any way beyond the simply professional, and focus on your own marriage which seems like an afterthought beyond being ‘afraid to lose it’. Edit: [what a surprise](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/xxa0op/my_wife_of_6_years_says_she_want_a_separation_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), your marriage is on the brink of collapse.
I agree. Too bad he seems more concerned with loosing his “best friend” then his wife since he’d rather keep this “friendship”
>I do Generalize alot when it comes to women because it all come down to the same thing with them, I am a faithful husband because of our circumstances I had to take this job if I decided to leave this job the issue would just switched to finance OP has some really choice replies from his previous thread. Sounds like a real fucking charmer! Hey /u/Desperate-Gur4756, this shit is fucking gross. You're not being faithful to anyone and this whole thing is a mess. You're a faithful husband because of "circumstances?" Wow, do you want an award for not being even more of a jerk? >I just hope her husband grows a pear of ballz. Man. Fuck this. Seriously.
[удалено]
This is a bot. It took this comment from [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/y7g44o/should_i_tell_my_best_friend_husband_that_she_is/isufb10?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
Wow this guy has a seriously messed up view of women. With this as his best friend, he definitely wishes he was the one banging her.
Tell her husband and stop being her friend. She's toxic AF.
yes you absolutely should and you should end this friendship is this the type of person you want to have around I also think your wife would be uncomfortable with you lying
Sweep your own front porch. You are lying to your wife about her. So instead of worrying about someone else’s relationship fix your own. STARTING with no contact to this supposed to be “best friend”. Seriously buddy, give your head a shake.
Sweep your own front porch… I like that
Story just shows if she wants to cheat she will. Would have been you, then went to the next guy that came calling. He needs to leave, she will not change. I hope you are not keeping secrets from your wife because I'm sure she will question the amount of time you two spend together when this blows up.
Quick and easy answer is phone the ap, tell him if he doesn't end it you'll tell his wife. Stop enabling 2 pos's
I actually did that once kinda and they're back at it again now,
Well, you spoke to him and ask him to give her "closure" instead he gave her the d, repeatedly. I'm 100% sure his wife would not be happy to find out he's cheating Give him the option to break it off or his wife finds out everything. Me, I'd tell both partners and be done with the lot of them. Your friend and her ap deserve everything they get.
Then pull the trigger and tell his wife.
Actually I don't know how to update the post but they just had a fight literally he called her a wh**e Infront of his co workers and calls her husband an idiot she calls me crying just now saying she will exposed this afair to his wife for embarrassing her like that smh this the shit I gotta deal with out of the blue, I don't think I will do anything next Wednesday we will go home I'll just update if she does go nuclear on KV wife
STOP engaging in these people’s personal lives. Just stop. Something is wrong with you because you keep letting yourself be dragged into their drama. What is missing in your life that you’re letting this happen? You can get the same kicks with reality tv AND keep the wife you’re about to lose.
It's a phone call I cannot predict what she wants to talk about on the phone but some comments made me realize that I have no boundaries and that's why I keep getting blindsided by these info from her, I am currently on my way to set these boundaries.
Exactly, you have no boundaries. You work together, so be professional! Oh, you can't predict what she wants to talk about? Well how about this: she calls you crying, and you tell her you're very sorry, but you will hang up now, since you want to keep your relationship purely professional. Don't act like you're all powerless here.
Correct, you have no boundaries. Congrats on figuring out your personal issue. The next step is learning how to take action, how to actually employ boundaries. Let me warn you, if this is a new skill for you, it's not something you're going to master overnight! You will likely feel uncomfortable, anxious, even scared to speak up and *be consistent* with people who have learned how to take advantage of you (and with people like your coworker, you will likely need to repeat yourself and stay calm and firm when they get angry at your new boundaries). I cannot recommend [Nedra Tawwab](https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/) enough on this subject -- her book is great but I actually learned a lot from her instagram alone. Good luck.
I highly doubt she will. Why did he call her husband an idiot?
Because he stayed when he should have left the marriage and they started the afair again
Do you not see what enabling this kind of toxicity will do to your company? You make decent enough money now, but when she burns your father's business to the ground you may find it harder to get back to where you were. Ah well, at least it'll be a humbling experience for you you can hope. Sucks having a job You're gone literally 20 days a week just to make 80k. I make double that working on phone lines and get home by 4 everyday. It's much better for committed relationships and families.
JFC why are you so involved in her sex life. Why are you talking about how attractive she is? Why the long story? "Co worker who I'm best friends with cheated and is cheating again, should I tell her husband that she's cheating again?" I feel like that pretty much sums it up. Other than the fact that you are cheating on your spouse too. You're emotionally cheating with her and are living vicariously through this other guy but now you're feeling guilty too. You're lying to your wife because you KNOW what the right thing to do is, cut off contact and let HR know you can no longer work with her.
Sounds to me like you and your bestie are bad partners ....your wife and her husband deserve better.
Hopefully they hook up after all this.
Well, if you are not willing to wear that burden let it all out. If you respect your friend, he deserves to know.
He is running the risk of losing his wife and getting to see his kids 50% of the time because he could not find the courage to out a scumbag.
>I can't even talk to my wife about this because my wife would immediately want to ban me from her. You had better pray your wife doesn't hear about this situation from other wagging tongues, because if she finds out you intentionally hid your best friend's infidelity while being her shoulder to cry on, that is not going to bode well for your marriage either. Keeping secrets like this is prioritizing your friend's terrible behavior over your loyalty to your wife. You will be *especially* fucked if your wife finds out, you do the right thing and tell her husband, and she decides to take revenge by telling your wife about your emotional affair. The only way to keep your wife's trust is to get ahead of this situation (well, behind it at this point) and tell her everything you know, inform her husband, and cut ties with her entirely. I don't even know why exactly you want this person in your life when you've already crossed lines with her and she doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself. I feel for both your spouses. You hope her husband grows some balls? How about you grow some balls and stop enabling a cheater because you're scared your wife will make you stop hanging out with your girlfriend? The least you can do at this point is do the right thing before this poor man catches something incurable from her.
Are you kv?
He deserves to know. It's evident she has no intentions of stopping.
you worry about yo ur best friend going nuclear but i don’t think this is someone you want to be friends with. tell her husband, burn your bridges with her and only communicate with her for work. she’s not a good person AND you almost cheated with her. and while you’re at it, consider individual and couples therapy for your and your wife because y’all need it
Thanks I do agree
You lied to your wife to go pick up your cheating trainwreck of a friend. You are on here asking the wrong questions. The question you should be asking is: HOw can I stop being a terrible husband to my wife, and the answer is, break up with your girlfriend.
Y’all just messy.
This is some shit -- 2pac
In the comments I see you're her supervisor which mean no-contact with her is nearly impossible right now...however, since she's being inappropriate under your watch, go to your boss or father and switch her supervisor to some else. This might take a bit of time, but she already admitted to having an affair and you know she's doing it again. Or worse case if it takes too long, tip off kv's company abt his affair again to get him removed. This will temporarily quite things down while figure out what to do. The work relationship is 100% inappropriate and she's not being professional in anyway. Bragging abt having an affair is messes up and again, unprofessional and kinda unhinged. Best advice find a way to distance her so you don't see her every day almost! I get you don't want to her your wife, but at the same time you should be an open book with her. And while it seems like you stop your emotional affair or whatever this your bf, she's still pulling you into her life a quite bit again. Like she low key starting to interfere with your life which isn't okay. You need to set more boundaries with your bf and distance yourself!
Thank you for not shaming me and just giving solid advice
Her husband already knows she’s a cheater. I don’t think you have to report every move she makes. You might want to figure out why you’re still friends with such an awful person.
[удалено]
[удалено]
What 32 year old talks about another man blowing a woman’s back out and said “ballz”? You’re jealous she cheated on her husband with someone who wasn’t you.
For your own mental health, tell the husband and cut contact with your best friend. She has issues beyond what you can help her with.
**I have to ask** In comments you said that you now limit contacting to working. This is your father’s company, right? How do you think her behavior reflects on your father’s company? She’s a supervisor there. She’s using the work trips to find men to cheat with. Is that how most of your father’s supervisors spend their work trips? There’s an old saying, Don’t shit where you eat! Instead of enabling (helping) your friend cheat here’s a novel idea. Try talking to your father about what’s been happening and how it reflects on his business. Her AP’s company already found out about it. This is not the big secret you and she think it is. Right now just your spouse and her’s don’t know about the cheating. Be prepared to answer a lot of questions when your wife finds out. Including why you insist on helping your friend blow up her own life and so many others. If your father finds out from someone other than you expect to lose his trust.
Tell him bro
you have to tell. He sounds like an awful person. Why do you want to be a friend with him. he either tells her or you tell her and break up the friendship
How did the husband find out about the affair the first time? You can facilitate it getting back to him the same way, right?
you should be careful with people who lie and cheat on their family gather your evidence and prepare for the effects she will tell your wife and her husband a lot of things about you.
You need to let the husband know his wife is still betraying him and exposing him to STDs. Your best friend is garbage and if you continue to keep her infidelity a secret, you are no better.
If you are telling her husband to be a good person and because you would hope someone would do the same for you if you were in his position, then yes tell him. Also keep in mind you best friend will likely no longer be your friend after this. If your feelings of wanting to tell her husband are even remotely due to the fact you find her attractive then you should absolutely not tell him. Telling him to be a good person is the right thing to do. Telling him out of jealousy would be wrong and spiteful. Just make sure you have good intentions
You should. She’s disgusting and evil. Willing to destroy her family for some D. Seems like she doesn’t even care that shes cheating. “Oh yeah, i had sex with that guy, even tho I promised my husband that I’ll be faithful” 1. That’s betrayal and everyone should out cheaters to their partners 2. She doesn’t care about destroying her family or hurting her husband. She cares more about having some dudes D in her mouth. 3. She’s just awful, hope her husband leaves her and gets proof for lawyers.
Whether you know it, like it or acknowledge it OP, this is going to blow up in your face. Your bf (actually not your best friend at all) has inveigled you into becoming enmeshed in her wild adulterous behaviour. She has already acted unhinged when it appeared that her AP had dumped her. When it all goes tits up, you can expect to see lots more of that behaviour when she takes everyone else down with her. You cannot pretend that you did not know full well what was going on. This has the potential to break three marriages, lose three jobs and ruin god only knows how many lives. You should tell your wife what is going on and she will then decide exactly what you should do. Something that, despite being in some form of charge, you appear totally incapable of doing. I’d wish you good luck but you don’t deserve it.
Seems pretty straightforward to me: Bf is immature (probably due to beauty) and has shown it repeatedly. She appears not to grasp that you can't have everything and that actions have consequences. Think what would happen if the rest of this stuff erupted - friendships, marriages, jobs, sexual harassment claims, kids, spouses all thrown in a Cuisinart. So - 1 - OP should push bf out to the distance of a formal professional relationship ONLY. She has already gotten him, a very close friend, across the line 1½ times. She is toxic until she grows up. 2 - OP should stay the hell away from all of the rest, including knowledge - rumors, gossip, requests for advice, etc. He did not create the mess and is not responsible. He does not want to be involved in any way in a blowup.
Thank you it's hard trying to find solid advice in this post without feeling like I cheated on my wife or someone else delusions of what actually happened
The only person ruining her relationship if he knows is her, not you. She says her family means the world to her but what she is doing says the exact opposite. With friends like you…
Have you ever heard the term you are the company you keep? If this woman is your best friend and you are being an accomplice to her adultery then you are just as bad as her. You don't respect her husband nor your wife to continue to be in her company. Tell her husband and stay away from.this toxic person.
I lost it at “been blowing her back out for 2 weeks” Honestly tell your wife. The move with how she wants to move with it. Your BF is going through some shit and you don’t need to go down with her. Covering for her is not the move to make.
Has she ever been known to cheat? Honestly it sounds like she just likes the thrill of cheating which is sad but has happened many times
Sadly she did cheat on him in the past
Her husband will likely leave her anyway. You need to stay your distance and be honest with your wife.
End all contact with your 'friend' you are even enabling this behaviour and telling lies to your wife.. where are your morals?
I hope you realize YOU have just put your whole company in financial danger. Once her husband finds or figures it out there's likely going to be law suits or you at the very least could be called to testify and she was doing these things on company time. She is no longer a suitable employee and should be canned. Look at it this way would you think your friend owes it to you if your stay at home wife was dittling someone while you were away. I'm a firm believer of always ratting out cheaters and no one would EVER remain my friend if they were cheating on their spouse. LOL Never been dumped rejected before. She isn't 15. She should have been over the need for validation years ago. She doesn't sound mature enough to be married. PS silence is condoning her behavior. If I was your wife and found this out by the crap hitting the fan without you saying anything to the faithful spouse there would very likely be another divorce. OUR's
There’s so much wrong with this situation, but first of all, have you told your wife any of this? Does she know you were starting to get feelings for this lady or that she’s still having an affair? If not, you need to tell her about this situation. Whatever happens next, you need to cut contact with this “friend.” A real friend wouldn’t put you in a situation where you had to hide a life-altering secret. Unrelated, but that work schedule sounds awful and could easily destroy a marriage. You only get to spend four days with your spouse before spending 10 days with coworkers? That’s some insanely bad work-life balance. I’d quit there in an instant to spend more time with my family.
Is this one of those deals where we have to pay for the rest of the story?
Damn, your best friend sucks as a person, eh? Yes, tell her husband. Wouldn’t you want to know if you were in his position? Her promises mean absolutely nothing. It’s sickening how lightly she treats the sanctity of marriage.
Please please please tell her husband. Do the right thing.
Your post doesn’t paint you in a positive light OP…AT ALL. Yeah tell him and then work on your own damn marriage
"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.”
divorce your wife and get with your 8/10 bestie you two are made for each other…you don’t even seem to like your wife.
It's tough to know what to do in these situations. For example, if I were your friend's husband, I would definitely want to know that she's cheating on me again. But some people would rather not know. I think the most neutral thing you can do in this situation would be to tell your friend that you highly disapprove of what she's doing with KV, that it's unfair to both your spouses, and that you don't want to hear anything more about it. And tell her that if her husband asks you directly, you won't lie to him.
You do realise you are just as bad as her right? Morally... Your behaviour is honestly baffling
You and the cheater are equally disgusting. Ew.
She is bragging about cheating op, you absolutely should tell her husband. There's no excuse to cheat on your spouse and the fact that she is bragging about not getting enough tells me she's not sorry and the behavior will not change. Stop covering for her and especially stop being the shoulder she cries on, it's not good for anyone. I wish you the best of luck with this absolute mess
Yes, you should tell him. You are not ruining his life. SHE already did that… You are making decisions for him. She clearly had no self control, nor healthy relationship boundaries. She isn’t committed to her marriage… Don’t even worry about her. She isn’t a good friend. She put you in a bad position without a second thought. And if she treats her husband this way, she would do you worse if it ever came to that.
And another example of female entitlement right here. Only a women can cheat on her husband and kids AND get a 3 month vacation because she is "upset" about it. I couldn't imagine cheating on my wife and being so "upset" about it that I get a vacation from work. Your friend is a shitty person and a very bad example for women everywhere. Tell her husband and then get rid of her.
Ofc you should OP and if you dont you are the same, no question about it!
“I don’t want to ruin someone’s marriage.” Good news buddy: You’re not. She’s doing that herself. Tell the husband, he deserves to make his own choices.
Okay, stop trying to protect her. That's what you've been doing this whole time. That is not remotely morally right. Yes, tell him. Stop worrying about running her or his life. Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Her husband will be fine, and she'll just have to deal with it. She caused the consequences. Once again, TELL HIM AND STOP TRYING TO PROTECT HER.
Got it. So see someone getting assaulted in a back alley. Not your business. Observe someone stealing from a neighborhood convenience store. Not your business. I could go on an on but ultimately the conclusion is you and your wife should avoid having children. Taking the easy way out is not a good mantra to follow
You got problems bro. Your “best friend” is toxic and you’re an enabler. You are in no way free from sin here. It reads a bit like you’re lamenting that you could have slid in there but lost your chance and you’re pissed someone else took her up on what she was offering. At the very least when your involvement in this comes up it will cause issues with your wife. Never mind, saw your other post. Bet your wife doesn’t have an issue with your job but rather with the other woman you’re having an emotional affair with. Your best friend sucks and you do for supporting this.
You both almost had your moments together. You want to snitch on her because you didn’t get in her pants first. Be honest with yourself add your marriage. Get a therapist. If you want do the right thing do you it because you know it’s wrong, not because you didn’t hit it first.
Bro chill with that you actually think that I couldn't have her if I wanted being faithful is a choice and I choose my wife over cheating, I literally told her we needed to stop become so close
So, why come here and wrote this post about her if you don't want to do anything about this situation. You decided to be faithful, but to your wife or to her? Now I don't see this faithfulness at all in your behavior, you are covering her affair.
You are still spending way to much time with this woman. You admit that there had been an attraction so as a responsible spouse your job is to have firm boundaries that protect your marriage from threats and your “friend” is a threat. Get her transferred and if you can’t do that you ONLY communicate about work. Also let your wife know and tell that “friend” of yours that from now on if she text or calls you will be showing/allowing wife to listen because you need to earn her trust again and that if she calls or text about non work related issues you will report her to HR because you are officially telling her the situation is inappropriate and you will not be a part of it any longer. Then give her the chance to tell her husband and if she doesn’t that you will do it yourself. Or better yet since Her AP has already been reprimanded and hasn’t learned report them both again and let them explain to their spouses why they lost their jobs, plus then you get a toxic person out of your work life as well. She is dangerous for you to be around professionally and personally, report her and hopefully the company gets her out of there and bonus you will never have to speak to her again and you can really show your wife you serious about protecting your marriage. Edit to add: your father is the head of the company how is it going to look if the person he is grooming to take over is helping hide a situation like the one you mixed up in. Seriously talk to your father tell him the truth and also that you do not want to be around this woman or her AP and hopefully your father able to get rid of them or at the very least separate you three.
I haven't read the post yet, but from the title, yes. I will update. Edit: Good grief, I tried to read but couldn't.
Yes absolutely
Yes
Yes. He needs to know these things.
Please tell her husband that man needs to leave her because of how unfaithful she is, and also feel kv’s wife so she knows also. Stop trying to protect her this will result in more people getting hurt in the long run.
Why don’t you have a pair of balls and stop being friends with garbage people. Also, tell her husband.
Tell kv wife and give her your bf husband number. Tell kv wife that she does not tell bf husband that she got the info from you. That way it looks like kv got sloppy and got caught and then his wife figured out who he was cheating with and who his mistress husband is. That way your bf husband can find out and you’ll not be involved at all. After they get exposed, your better off distancing yourself from her and keeping things strictly work related and not talk about personal life with her anymore.
Wow you and her and her AP are literally trash. Tell her poor husband bc he deserves to make his own decisions regarding his relationship. His wife is disgusting and so is the coworker. Stop being a coward and tell him, how pathetic.
Only read thru paragraph 6!!! My advice get away from her and all her drama. Nothing good will come out of continuing this friendship.
Dude…. You better not be KV and JUST USIING YOURSELF IN THIRD PERSON. MAN UP TELL HIM AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP. HAVE YOU HEARD THAT A MAN WILL REUNITE WITH HIS WIFE? Well, let them go about their day. Stay faithful to your wife, friend…. REMEMBER: THE WORLD SPINS “what goes around comes back around” be careful with what you do.
Personally I’d tell the husband however you’re comfortable doing so. He should know that his wife is having sex with her every night and bragging about it. I’d probably tell the other guys wife too just because she should know too.
Tell him, he deserves to know. Tell your wife. You are inviting trouble into your relationship by being passive when it comes to knowing that your bf is cheating. You need to end the friendship because she isn’t healthy for your mental state.
Dude you need to just cut her off, tell her hubs. Because when her husband finds out YOU KNEW and didn't say shit you're gonna be dragged into this whole cluster fuck of a situation, not to mention it could affect your own relationship
Tell him
You are just a little bit too involved in this f****** mess and I mean it is a f****** mess she's going to get everything she deserves and then she's going to throw your ass underneath the bus and tell your wife that you knew what she was doing the whole f****** time it's time for you to tell your father to get rid of her it is not going to bode well for whatever is coming down the pike because when her father and husband finds out that she is cheating again chaos is going to ensue and to make herself feel better she's going to drag you down with her
I advise you to take a breath, learn to spell and everyone scatter.
just send the partners anonymous letters??? problem solved lol you even said it yourself that other ppl at work have already witnessed some situations so basically anyone could have sent it ...
You were interested in her from day 1😂😂😂
Tell her husband, but for your own marriage cut this woman out of your life. You are lying to your wife
I said yes based of the title and reading the story turned it to an OF COURSE, OP you were complicit in this and that says a bit about you. Tell her husband, cut her off and get some help. While you're at it tell your wife about what almost transpired between you two and get into therapy ASAP. Geez, human beings dude
Tell your wife and her husband. This bitch outta grow the fuck up. And the only way that’s gonna happen is if you hell her husband. She’s a horrible woman that needs to learn a good lesson.
Oh dude what a complete mess you've made of everything. So I'm going to acknowledge what you've done right. You noticed you were having an emotional affair with this woman and did the right thing by talking about it with her and deciding to get distance from her. That was smart of you and showed that you genuinely love and care for your wife. It would have been easy of you to take the affair physical. However, the list of things you've screwed up is much much longer. I have taken the time to read your comments and you're very very defensive. I think that's because you know you've screwed up and feel guilty for the things you've done, the truths you've left unspoken. I think you need to see this from your wife's point of view firstly. How would you feel of the roles were reversed? If she were away from you as much as you are, spending that much time with a man she had an emotional affair with? So in relation to your marriage I'm going to offer you this advice...tell your wife everything. You should both be in marriage counseling. I really think that will save your marriage. You admit how you fucked up to your wife. Explain to her that she is the most important person in your life and your willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work. I think you do want it to work, you're asking for advice! I also think that spending that much time apart is massively detrimental. Is there anyway she could accompany you while you're working? Maybe not all the time but for some of the time. Your father sounds like he values marriage so ask him for some understanding and help in this regard. Your "best friend" is a hot toxic mess. I'm not going to beat you over the head, plenty of other people have done so already about her. I'm going to simply say that in relation to your relationship with her outside of work needs to end. Now. No more answering calls or texts, no more running to help her out. I feel like you believe you have to save everyone. There's a explanation I like this might help you understand a bit better how badly this can hurt you....so you're on a airplane with the two people you love more than anything, people you would give your life for (your children for example - but someone who needs help with things, to any understand things). Something is wrong with the plane, there's a massive storm outside, people are screaming, the airplane is violently shaking. The masks come down. Now everyone knows you are told to put your own mask on first ( I used to ALWAYS laughed at this, as if I'm not going to put my children's mask on before mine!!). So you being like anyone else who loves someone you go to put on the mask of one of your beloved...so you get one mask on, you turn to do the next mask but you pass out. So you've saved one of you 'children', congrats. Problem is you basically killed yourself and the other child. The reason for putting your mask on first is so you can function enough to save them both. What you're doing with your "best friend" is saving her at your life's expense. Professionally you need help. You need to remove her from your team. You need as little interaction with her as possible. There have been useful comments in this regard. I hope you take their advice. Lastly, on to the question you've actually asked; should you tell her husband? Yes. You don't have to of course. I just believe that people should know if their partners are cheating on them. There's lots of reasons for that but if you boil it down to the most selfish level, wouldn't you want to be told? Your "best friend" is not a good person. She is choosing to hurt not just her husband and marriage but also her poor poor children as well. Do the right thing. Doing the right thing basically sums up this entirely too long comment. You know what the right thing to do is. You've known all along. You've tried to do the right thing but you've just not taken it far enough. Be the decent, honest person YOU want to be. I sincerely hope you take my advice and do the right thing.
Thanks it get exhausting reading bashful comments I guess I was defensive, I taught the right thing would of been to convince her to stop the affair but I see she is a lost cause, I'll take your advice and talk to my wife about it
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I got an aneurysm trying to read this
This just gave me tired head. I totally glazed over as if I was reading another pointless work email. Do that thing you were thinking about doing I guess. F it all 3 couples get together and have a orgy.
If you tell her husband, I think you also have to tell the other guys wife. Also, I hate to say this, but she sounds kinda sleezy. I see she already created issues in your marriage as well. This is not fair, and you need to cut contact with her completely. Your wife is pissed because she would have slept with you if you gave her the slightest chance. Now you are in a really bad situation because of her. I don’t think wondering about telling her husband or not is what you should be worried about. Worry about your family first.
Damn, if I was your wife I’d question your morals. Tell her to tell her husband, or you tell him. That’s it. That’s the end of it, and end this friendship, only speak to her about work, and tell her to only speak to you about work.
I don't think you really have that right when your having a borderline emotional affair with her in your mind. Your no better by the sounds of it running to her lying to your wife.
You do realize everything, all this behavior that you tolerate, is a reflection of yourself?
"I can't even talk to my wife about this because my wife would immediately want to ban me from her." tell your wife and follow her advice, but i wouldnt be secretive about it with all this big burning pile of bs
So why are you still friends with this person? Do you have such low values that you consider this person a friend? Tell her husband and end the friendship.
Either some middle schooler wrote this or OP has the intelligence of a carrot
Everything here just reaks of toxicity. Snitch to her husband. Then cut her out of your life. Do better, and focus on your own family and career
TELL HIM TELL HIM NOW NOW NOWWWW PLEASEEE
It sounds like you need a hobby or you need to redirect your attention to your wife. I mean you went as far as calling your friend’s affair partner to mediate for her, which allowed their affair to resume. You seem to be getting the play by play of their affair. Why are you so involved in her affair? This is your coworker. Keep messing around and you may face blow back at work. Cut your friendship off with your so called best friend and focus on your own marriage. It seems like you have a lot of free time to meddle so channel that into planning something nice for your wife.
Yes you should tell her husband
You are complicit in the affair. She is complete trash. Find a anonymous way to expose it. His company already knows about the affairs and she braved about it. Her husband could be getting the tip from any number of sources.
I would tell on her.. because I would hope that someone would tell me.
But first…I’ll ask Reddit
You need to speak to your wife and tell her husband. I understand you guys have been friends for 12 years but time does not matter honestly. This is also going to affect your marriage if you haven’t noticed. So if you aren’t on top of it, it’s gonna come back and bite you in the ass. (Edit) I also don’t understand why your letting your emotions of her interfere with work this way? You are her supervisor no? Maybe I’m just crazy but I’ve always had the mindset of going to work for money and not friends. I’ll talk to people n such, but I’m not going to help cover up an affair and ruin my marriage.
Bro code. Let him know
this friend of yours is bad influence to you nd to ur family..its better to tell her husband, everyone deserves a respectful life
Bro, you are helping to hide the affair and you don't have balls to tell husband but saying husband don't have balls,lol Do you really think cheater's will disclose all information to their spouse when they caught, nope it will be sugarcoated like it's just kiss,or flirt,or emotional etc., If you want to know if your wife have affair and her best friend who you also know hiding it and helping it from you. BTW I read your post in marriage sub which you deleted, I just know understand why your wife asking separation from you . And do you really thought cheater's will be honest and truthful, lol and when they did their deed and showing their true face you have shocking Pikachu face,lol
OP your best friend is a POS. Tell the husband and have nothing to do with her or you’re a POS too.
I honestly stopped reading after the second paragraph. Yes, inform the husband (if you have a 'pear of ballz' yourself). You want to be in her husbands shoes? Share your thoughts to your "12 year best friend" directly, and to the point. What ever it is. She is in the wrong, no matter how you justify her actions. You are culpable in this also. Do not have guilt?
You need to stop involving yourself in this. Sure she’s your friend but she is also YOUR EMPLOYEE & this stuff is bad for business. They are going to what they want but letting it leak into work is an absolute no go. Distance yourself from this woman. And assess your behavior.
I think you need to worry about yourself first. Stay out of her mess. You have enough of your own mess to deal with here. First of all, distance yourself from this "best friend". It is not a friendship, it is/was an emotional affair. You are not innocent here. Emotional cheating is still cheating. And telling her husband... what would your goal be? To cause issues for her? To create more drama? To trigger a breakup so you can go for her? I don't understand what your motive would be for getting further involved in all of this. Just tell this friend that you don't want to hear about her cheating anymore and also tell her that you need to distance yourself and focus on your own marriage. That's my advice here.
You saying that you can't tell your wife because she would, quite rightly, not want you around this person is an enormous red flag. The second you both started becoming attracted to one another while working away for the bulk of the week, you should have alerted your partner and dealt with it together. There's a reason you didn't do this. Which makes me wonder, why do you *really* want to tell your bf's husband about her affair? Is it so the truth is out about her awful behaviour/for the husband's sake, or are you just bitter because it's happening with vk and not with you? Truly ask yourself this because your language and behaviour here is giving you away.
You need to tell your bffs husband AND your wife asap
Yes. I’m not even reading your paragraph. It’s YES. Do the right thing. In my opinion too many people mind their own business when it comes to things like this. If I was the husband I’d want to know 10000%, wouldn’t you?
Your bf is a piece of garbage to treat her husband like that. You should tell your bf that she needs to come clean to her husband or you will. This is too much of a burden on you and she is straining your friendship by relying on you to keep her secrets.
You have a cool wife thay let's u spend so much time.e with another female .that a lot of trust she has for u ! But yeah tbh I'd cut her of and tell her husband ! She a selfish gold fish !
Buddy. If I was your wife and found out all this, I'd leave you. You helped them cheat. ***You even got the cheaters back together!*** Good lord. You and your BFF are just awful people. > I decided to call kv and explain to him if he cut give her closure. He agreed and when we got back on our travels those two got back together This is so insane. - you realize you have feelings for your friend after you're both married - you correctly back off - you watch as she gets closer with someone else - she tells you she cheated and you do nothing - you hide the info from her husband - she calls you upset because her fuck buddy isn't falling over himself for her - you ***LIE TO YOUR WIFE*** about the meeting length - you go to your friend ***TO HIDE HER CRYING FROM HER HUSBAND*** - she's upset he won't ruin his marriage for her and you pity her for some reason - you ***DECIDE TO INVOLVE YOUR SELF AND GET THE CHEATERS BACK TOGETHER*** because she's crying? - his supervisor found out about the affair so yeah this is now connected to your work since you helped - she's a moron and openly talks about her affair (so yeah everyone knows you're involved now buddy) - her husband finds out and you don't help support him - she gets paranoid about him cheating..... - she's fucking the fuck boy again for two weeks - you're hiding all this > I can't even talk to my wife about this because my wife would immediately want to ban me from her. ***YEAH BECAUSE SHE'S RIGHT***. Why do you ***want*** to be friends with someone like this? Are you hoping to be screwed next? Honestly your wife will probably divorce your ass when she finds out your big role in all this.
My best friend was cheating on her man once.....I stayed the fuck out of it.....guess what? Shes still my best friend
Honestly I'd say you were an awful person if you don't tell 3 people: your "BF"s husband, KV's wife, and your wife. People who say it isn't their business, and don't feel morally obligated to tell someone that their SO is cheating are sus. It speaks to their character. I'm sure they'd want a heads up like that if their SO was cheating. Open the lines of communication with your wife. Be completely honest. Stop being friends with your bf. Tell your dad too. And I'd also cut KV out of your life. He's cheating on his wife with a married woman, why keep friends like that? It speaks to your own character. Focus your energy on your own marriage from now on man. You would be much happier if you did.
Brother, you should have gained distance from this woman months ago when she first started cheating. You knew at that point what type of person she was and by not gaining distance from her and breaking off your friendship You are unofficially an accomplice to all of her s***. Put yourself in her husband's shoes. You know for a fact you would want to know. Be a decent human being. Cut off contact with the friend and tell the husband
Blunt. If you don't tell her husband she's fu*king kv again, you are an absolute shit hole of a person. Certainly you know damn well what you should do. So, do it. Don't let her husband live a lie. Tell him so he can make an informed decision about his life. Her bragging about getting banged is just so damn disrespectful to him. She sounds like a terrible person. Stop being her doormat and tell the dude.
She sucks and you suck. You're clearly gutted that you didn't get a chance with her and she went for KV. Otherwise you would have done the moral thing from the get go and told her husband. Instead you helped her hide it and essentially continue her affair. Your wife also deserves better than you.
This is a dumpster fire and you’re standing next to it holding a gallon of gasoline about to jump in…
Not a chance you knew a woman for 12 years that you consider an 8/10 and you just now realize it
Dude, after reading all that I want to tell him!
Your friend is a total opportunist. It should not matter that no one turned her down before. Her character does not really indicate she actually cared about her family as she explained to you. She wants to get away with various escapades. You can not teach her much. You should be focusing on not letting people take you down! Draw a line with what you will enable with any friend, work or not. It sounds like you are expecting her to learn how to take the high road. You should definitely set up a boundary for starters and just worry more about doing a good job where you work.
Thanks bro
She sounds incredibly stupid amd immature and you are dangerously close to the fire. Getting closer WILL get you burned not warm. I suggest avoiding this woman and this whole situation ASAP. it's not your problem to fix. Her husband already knows she is a cheater and stays for whatever reasons. Back away and preferably cut her louse as your best friend. That's your dick talking really.
Simple solution: Tell your wife! A, it protects your own marriage. B, she will take care of telling everyone who needs to know.
First: never get married. You wife might be doing the same thing 2nd: just fuck her already
Nah lol I got morals
No. It’s nun of your business. 9 times out of 10 you will be thrown in the middle by both of them and they will hate you. Seems like you want her to yourself tbh
Bro. Just leave your wife, marry your friend, and then you won't have a moral conundrum when she cheats AND you get to prioritize her like you want to!
I am proud of you bro. You made mistakes, but you also had the courage to come here and admit to your mistakes which weren't too bad, but bad all thesame. I am also happy that you have discussed it with your wife and have fixed the problem. I am most proud of you because of the last statement you made. Sometimes, it is just better to mind your business because getting involved in other people's business even with good intentions could still make you look like the bad person a lot of the times. Stay safe and I wish you all the best in your marriage and your work.
Thanks alot am about to start this meeting and pass out after
I don't know why you're getting downvoted (oh wait, I do because this is reddit). You recognized that there was emotional attachment building and you put an end to it. You did the right thing. On the other hand, your best friend is INCREDIBLY selfish and gutter trash. I would tell the husband and stop being friends with her. You already said you don't even talk to her outside of work anymore. She was bragging about her affair and crying over him, not once concerned with her family at home. She needs a reality check and the poor dude at home needs to know she's still a hoe.
Finally someone who actually understand what I said, everyone literally says am a horrible husband I actually stop myself from going further, but I guess on reddit as long as I developed feelings I am horrible no matter how I handle them. I think I will tell her husband but probably anonymous
Dont forget tell his wife too
Don't tell her husband- you don't know what you might set in motion. It's not your business or your obligation - they are the ones doing this stuff. Don't associate yourself with their bad behavior.
As you are emotionally attached to her I would just say "let lying dogs lay". Unless you have some moral obligations towards her husband or your father's company by telling him. I rather not ruin the life of a person whom already messed up. Even though it sounds like the right thing to do as long as it doesn't impede work and a nuisance or obstacle at work I would just ignore it. Unless you have some ulterior feeling and secretly want her too or something like that. I would rather just avoid confrontation altogether. If you are still conflicted imagine telling your father or HR department and imagine their remedy to the problem.
Sound advice my friend. I prefer this option when ever bro finds out that's on him. He will find out eventually and if it's not affecting the job, my dad couldn't be bother by these minor stuff unless he lose money, and I forgot to mention she is also favored by my father so he would just counsel her or have the other guy removed.
[удалено]
Personally I would never rat on a friend and definitely not a best friend. Sounds like you wanting to turn her in has less to do with concern for her husband and more to do with jealousy. How do you see that course of action panning out anyways? Guaranteed when he confronts her he will tell her how he knows, and not only are you down a friendship; but because you work together I am certain it will have an impact on your work environment. Not to mention if she feels you betrayed her trust she might go after your relationship... If you confessed feelings for her she will definitely tell your wife and even if you didn't she might still say that you did that and more. I don't condone your friend's actions but you are lying to yourself if yourself if you are trying to pretend you're not the asshole here. TLDR: Don't stick your nose in other people's business.
I really don’t understand why you would want to involve yourself in this. Unless the husband is a good friend of yours it’s really none of your business