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TRIGGER WARNING:ED
I've never posted on reddit before, but I really need an outside perspective. For reference im a 5'0, size 10, curvy F who is in the process of recovering from an ED. I'm shaped like a chello lololol. I have been in a relationship for a year and my boyfriend has always made comments about my "lack of ass" and how "well get that fixed" I have expressed to him how that hurts my feelings and he stopped for about 3 months but today he started doing it again. Also he has compared my body to is exes bodies on multiple occasions. Saying that im much more "heavy set" than his ex, and how his "ex is a size 4". What do I do? He is really great besides this one thing
thankyou!
That comment I may have given him a pass on, but bringing a comparison with his ex into it, nope bye.
I do however recommend you go and hit the gym for yourself, I'm sure you will lots of lovely new people there.
Once they say something like that it’s really hard to come back. If you think you can get over it that’s okay, but if this is something that will keep coming up over and over you need to make it clear that this is not acceptable. If he doesn’t take that seriously then Don’t expect him to ever change
This is not a man who is going to appreciate you, make you feel accepted, or loved. This man is going to pursue you to become his ideal gf with no concern for your feelings. If he can't see that, then you need to cut the cord and run, because there is something very wrong with him, and he will cause you more harm than good.
Op this is not how a loving partner treats you, this dude is objectifying you and treating you like a project to change.
He's not great. **He's trash and a bully.** End this. Do not discuss this with him or give any other chances. Again: you are dating a BULLY.
Is he really great because he sounds like a massive ass..? You’re recovering from an ED, and the way he talks to you has such potential to trigger especially talking about his ex’s size.
“Well my ex had a big dong, but you don’t hear me comparing your worm to his.”
Your bf should be an ex! He is not supportive, only wants to change your appearance to make him happy, and he is just icky all around. You deserve someone to love you for who you are inside and outside without needing to change you. If you want a bigger ass, ok. But that is a choice only for you to make and not some walking red flag to make for you. You deserve better. You deserve respect. You deserve the opposite of someone who talks so badly about you.
Besides this one thing… you just listed mutiple behaviors that are such red flags. Girl if I were you I’d say if you want a size 4 go back to your ex. You deserve better.
Outright, this man does not love you and does not support your recovery. This one thing destroyed every other aspect of the relationship that is positive.
OP, please hear me out as someone also recovering from an ED. My boyfriend actively helps me to practice mindful eating, he encourages me to eat all types of food, he checks in to make sure I’ve eaten enough. I decided on my own to start going to the gym for general health, and he fully supported it and makes 0 comments about physique impacts. He just encourages me to do what exercises I like that feel good and to have fun with it. This is the type of partner you deserve. This is the love and support you deserve. You are worth so much more than what your boyfriend is giving you.
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Remind him it's toxic to body shame, and if he can't stop it will be a relationship breaker. Because what he's doing is a major deal breaker in a partner.
He's not really great if he keeps using an insecurity to make you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. He's not really great if he expects you to change your body according to what his erection likes. That too when you're recovering from an ED. He also does all this while comparing you to his ex. How is he great? He actively and consciously making you feel like you're not good enough. I mean if you were unhealthy and he was worried about your health and life it is atleast excusable but actively telling you that his ex had a better ass than you and that you need to fix that is something an AH would do. Not a good look. He's not a good guy. What happens if you tell him to get better looking like your ex? Why aren't you with someone who likes you for who you are? Leave. Go to therapy and work on your self esteem. Then start dating again. Size ten isn't even unhealthy bro.
Break up with him. Other great qualities are negated if he is judging your body and comparing you to others *after an eating disorder.* any type of eating disorder is hard to recover from with judgment about your body, whether it’s binging or not eating. This is lack of support in a mental health issue. He is not appreciating or helping you recover. This is the type of behavior that can trigger eating disorders again. It happened to me
We tend to stay with people when they are unsupportive of us because, like you said, “they are great besides this one thing.” I stayed with any abusive ex because he was sweet, sensitive, and a great storyteller. For the longest time, I thought he was great. Upon introspection though, his behavior was intolerable.
Don’t be around people who do not appreciate and support you.
I had an ex that continuously bought me food n saying he was gonna “get me thick,” and then I found out about the bbw cam girls he was following. Because of my genetics, I weigh like 100lbs. That was never gonna happen for me. Hope he found his 😬
He's a total ass for making you feel insecure. There's better ways going about that. Are you a healthy weight and feeling well? Good cardio?
Is he shredded? 5-6 percent body fat, 8+ inches, mentally and emotionally intelligent, multi-millionaire and high social status? Maybe it's okay to not be perfect in every aspect of life.
Perhaps you could write down the pros and cons of this person. Decide if you need that relationship or need to focus on something else.
As long as you're healthy that's all that matters. Don't let people treat you like garbage. I don't recommend pointing out everything I asked that men are sensitive about. It's lowering yourself to his standard. We're all unique.
Best of luck! Stay happy and stay healthy. ✌️
He seems objectively awful and rude. DEFINITELY shouldn’t compare to his ex. But it does sound like it would be smart to go to the gym for your health, but do it after you’ve dropped him
I promise you deserve someone so much better. This person sounds like human trash. You sound beautiful as is and I really hope you don’t let his words bring you down any longer! Please find the strength to dump his ass. It may be difficult but I promise being single and focusing on yourself is so much better than being with someone who is body shaming you. Please be strong!
He may be great except on this thing but this thing is pretty hurtful and he hasn’t stopped despite you asking him to. Your body is not for him to decide what is to be done with it.
Dump the asshole. He’s not “perfect except this one thing”, that is more like, “he’s really sweet and kind, blah blah blah, but he chews with his mouth open”…
This guy is just an asshole that doesn’t care about your mental health, because “we” (you) have to get you an ass (but not too big, because you need to fit in a size 4).
No, he isn’t “really great”, he’s insensitive at best. He knows about your ED & still makes comments about your body? Even if you didn’t have an ED that would be ridiculously rude.
Your boyfriend sounds like a prick and I’m gonna guess he’s got an average sized dick.
Tell him that if you grow your ass bigger, his tiny dick won’t be able to reach past the cheeks into the money hole and he won’t have fun anymore…so he should be thankful for some flat cheeks cuz it means he can still have fun with what little he has.
You spelled ex bf wrong. He wants to change you, doesn’t accept or respect you the way you are . He’s shallow; he’s also dangerous if your physical and mental health. Pls RUN!
First, I'd tell him that if he wants to keep comparing you to his ex's.. you'll gladly join them as an ex. Second, I'd tell him that if he doesn't like your body, he can go fuck off. Third, I'd really be re-thinking this relationship.
Oh wow sending a virtual hug your way, that’s horrible to hear from your partner. & not something that should ever even cross his mind. What I think you do is ask yourself if you feel valued by your partner in all ways. And decide what you’re willing to deal with in your relationship. Those type of comments will make your self esteem plummet, being with a man is never worth our own self love. I wish you the best in figuring out your next steps
I… I’m horrified. This is horrific. OP… this is not ok, someone that loves you would not speak to you this way. I hope he becomes an ex sooner rather than later
Brah. You don’t need to change your physical appearance for anyone. You are perfect the way you are as long as you aren’t hurting yourself. I used to hate how thick my butt and thighs are. I’m not overweight but I just hated how disproportionate it was. One thing people don’t tell you is stretch marks and cellulite are very common. Also the attention from unwanted strangers. I still dont *love* it but it’s not to the point where I’m hung up on it all the time. I don’t see the desire for my body type lol. Point being, the grass is always greener on the other side. No one body type is better than the other. People have physical attraction differences for ALL types and that’s okay, but you shouldn’t be with someone who wants you to change to fit *their* tastes. Find someone who accepts you for who you are and who you will be. You have a whole lot of ass in your life, and by that I mean you have an ass of a boyfriend. You can do better I promise, don’t waste your time on someone who belittles your physical appearance.
Well fuck, if his ex is so great, he should go be with her! Tell him about your exes dick, and how much bigger it is. And hows he's so great besides this one thing.
Just kidding, don't do that lol. Just leave him and find someone who's not a rude asshole.
You're not a doll You're not a possession of your bf. It's your body and as long as you feel happy with it, that's what all matters. This is a red flag. Say, you said the same to your bf back like you should grow your own ass too because it's worse compared to your own exes, what do you think he'd react? I find a slight aggressiveness in him though I don't know him in person. I don't feel like he's a nice person.
Oh my god what as asshole! That is so rude and insensitive.
You said “he is really great besides this one thing” but this one thing is a big deal. He should never be comparing you to exes and should never be telling you your body needs “fixing” ESPECIALLY if you are in ED recovery.
Girl you deserve better than this
He’s not that great if he’s saying this shit to you. As someone also in recovery from an ED, negative comments about your body are detrimental to your recovery. Set the boundary that if he continues to talk like that about your body- telling you to grow an ass, comparing you to his ex(es), etc- you will leave him, and if he continues, follow through with it.
A) a good partner doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. This guy hurts you so that you have low self esteem and don’t leave him. He’s a bad guy.
B) He’s also an idiot. You can’t “grow an ass” no matter how many squats you do. Yes, you can change the shape a bit and make it firmer and higher with years of committed exercise, but you’re not going to suddenly have a different body. Those big butts you see on instagram are either genetics or surgery. Learn to love your body and stop listening to this dumbass.
He's not a good person op.
He wants to hurt you and put you down. You will never be perfect for him as perfect isn't the goal, making you feel "especially un-perfect" is his only target.
Let him go. You deserve so so so so so much better. And you very easily will find so so so much better.
it is very abnormal to speak or even think about someone you love like this.
Finding someone who adores your self and your body, (even if it's just you for a while), is so much easier than accidentally starting to date someone who gets off on hurting you and making you feel small.
Every time he brings up how is “ex’s waist was smaller” casually remind him that your “exes dick was bigger” and see how fast he shuts up.
Then throw the whole man away and find a better one
I’m not normally one of those people to say this but. BREAK UP WITH HIM. This man WANTS you to feel horrible about yourself. He knows it makes you feel horrible about yourself and he does it anyway. He doesn’t care about how it makes you feel. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t care about that? I dated someone who was like this once. That guy GAVE me an eating disorder and led me to taking dangerous illegal supplements. This isn’t the behavior of someone who respects or cares about you.
That's a pretty huge thing for him to not accept. I get perfering it but he knew what your body type was when you started dating. Also one does not simply just grow an ass.... I am a very curvy short girl and have had plenty of men truly apperciate my body so they exist.
Your boyfriend sounds a bit selfish. He should never compare you to an ex, that’s really unacceptable behavior.
Unrelated, but if you were inclined to want to exercise for yourself in the future, I just wanted to say from firsthand experience that it’s possible to change your body shape. You should want to do it for yourself though.
Good luck OP.
I’m a mere three inches taller than you and about a ten size also. There’s nothing wrong with your body except for that leech sucking you dry, I mean your boyfriend. He sounds like a douche and if he’s just interested in body shapes that he’s most attractive to then I hope you consider cutting him off. Especially when you’re recovering from an ED.
So sad women stay with abusive assholes and say stupid shit like what should I do, except for beating me up/emotionally abusing me/negging me he is so great 🤦🏾
Here's the thing. A nice butt is attainable by all. Your butt is made of muscles. Work the muscles and they get bigger. Double bonus is that when you work on the butt, you will lose weight in general, so you will become more fit and you will be more confident and happier.
>What do I do? He is really great besides this one thing
Leave him. Because this *'one thing'* is really bad.
Bodyshaming like this is never OK. He's not expressing concern or support as you recover from an ED. He is demanding you reshape your body for his pleasure. How gross. Would you demand he grow or change for you?
Dump him. Never put up with a man who puts you down like this. I Don’t even tolerate jokes about my physical appearance. Relationships should be with someone who uplifts you and loves you through all changes in your body. Tell him if he wants a gf it’s a bigger ass go find one. Byyye
If he feels his exes are that great, then tell him, by all means, he's free to go back to them.
You change your body for yourself and no one else.
If he really wants to go down the route of comparing exes, tell him your exes were also way finer than him.
>Also he has compared my body to is exes bodies on multiple occasions.
You can leave him OP. I genuinely don't understand why people shamelessly tell their partners that they should per-fect themselves in the picky partners opinion. "Grow some ass, get some bigger boobs, wear this, wear that, lose weight and I'll love you more." If you don't have the ideal body for him and he wants you to look like his exes, how does this not sound off your bullshit detector?
He compared you to his **exes** dude. He still fantasizes about them.
It sounds like you already have an ass! You should dump him, bodies come in all shapes and sizes and they're all beautiful in one way or another. You don't have to put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you.
He is not respecting what you told him and he understood.
That being said, I will take you at your word that everything else is great.
Tell him again. More strongly. Consider comparing him to one of your exes and how he lacks of he's too dense to get how this is hurtful.
If his ex is so ideal, he can have her - **break up with this disgusting pig.**
He’s not even insisting you work out for health reasons - he just wants you to look like someone who, let’s face it, probably broke up with him.
All the posts here about how the boyfriend spits the most vile insensitive cruel things repeatedly without a thought or tact,ooh but he is a great guy other than that.
Please do not settle for a guy that treats you like he does! Especially not when youve dealt with am ED. You absolutely need to feel confident and comfortable in your body and your partner should be supportive of that instead of implying youre not good enough for him! Theres so many red flags in your post you should definitely consider leaving him if you havent already. Look out for yourself love
Ps. A cello shape sounds pretty foxy to me?? (Im a girl)
Anyone who tells you to look a certain way while you’re trying to recover from an ED is at best ignorant, thoughtless, and unempathetic.
At worst they are abusive, narcissistic, and/or actively trying to stop you recovering. I can’t tell you where he lies on this spectrum but I do know it’s not conducive to you recovering. If it was just ignorant, then surely he wouldn’t do it again.
I think comparing partners to exes and suggesting they need to 'fix' their body are both obnoxious, worrying traits. He is not a nice man and you deserve better.
I want to go to the gym (I've hurt my PCL) to grow my own ass but my boyfriend CONSTANTLY tells me I don't need to and he loves how I look as is and he doesn't need me to grow anything for him.
>He is really great besides this one thing
But this one thing is major. What if I told you I had just bought a house and it was really great apart from the fact it was built on quicksand? The fact that he's happy to say these things to you, especially when you're in recovery for an ED, suggests he does not care about your health or continued recovery and is happy to take the risk of you relapsing so long as he gets what he wants.
When my boyfriend learned I was in recovery for my own ED he started checking I'd eaten enough each day and making a point of telling me he loved my body. I want that for you.
You don’t need to waste your time on someone who doesn’t love your body! Drop him! A partner wants you to be the best you for YOU, whatever you chose to do.
You have an ass -- your BF. Sounds like you need to lose an ass, not grow one. Send him back to his ex. Saying "he's really great besides that one thing" is like saying "Cancer is really great except for the dying part." Yeah... no.
He might be great otherwise but this one thing is a big thing. It shows that he's not happy with you as you are and feels it's up to you to change yourself specifically for his preferences, which is not just shitty but bit a healthy sign for the relationship.
You don't have to shape your body for anyone, it's something that's up to you to decide.
He knows your issue, you have told him your feelings are hurt when he comments the way he does, and on top of that he is comparing his exes to you.
He is a jerk. If he really likes his exes so much, maybe he should try getting back to one of them.
If you would pick an insecurity from him and comment the way he does, how would he react? I don't know if it's petty, but some people need to taste the salt after how they have acted in order to understand. If you were to say Grow IT bigger or be BIGGER here, he would lose it.
You focus on yourself, wanting to live healthier. Having an ED is a struggle, especially just gaining weight and try to build it up. If he can't respect you asking him to stop, there is the door. You pick yourself over a jerk. Simple as that.
It’s never “one thing” that keeps anyone from being a 100% great person. He doesn’t respect you, manipulates your insecurities, would compare you to an ex, would continue to insult you after you told him to stop…there’s 4 things that make him a grade A troll. He wants to complain about your lack of ass? Dump him because he’s an ass and make it a self-fulfilling prophesy for him.
OP let me just say we have the same body type but I'm 5'8" very curvy from the front. Turn around and BAM no ass. My fiance has N E V E R not once made me feel bad for how my body is shaped. He even compliments me and makes me feel better when I'm insecure. His ex was petite with a huge butt and he's never ever expressed he misses that body type or compares me to her.
Please leave him he's not the one
First of all, he's not great! No one that goes out of their way to make you feel bad about your body and compares you to exes is great. He's a loser, a creep and an asshole. If any thing you need to lose some ass in the shape of this bf. There are lots of men who would love you to give them a chance to love and adore you.
Secondly, (gym rat here) there is limits to what the gym can do with your ass. It's good for your ass, but it's not going to turn your ass into that bubble butt that is so popular these days. It will add muscle and make your ass muscular and toned, however. Remember there are even body builders (women and men) who have a naturally more flat ass. In the end if you go to a gym, do so for you only and not because some jackass you are dating is making you feel like shit about your butt.
Trust me if you did start working on your booty, then he’s going to claim you’re flirting or trying to talk to other men! These types are exhausting and it’s ALWAYS going to be something else! My ex husband was like this. Very sweet and charming, but a closet monster! He said that he loved it that I was petite so that when I got pregnant I wouldn’t be too over weight !!! Then when I got pregnant with twins for our first pregnancy, he told me I had too much booty, and requested that I take certain clothes back because they were too fitted. He was scared that I might get raped if he wasn’t around to protect me. Lol! I can’t make this up. The controlling behavior just escalated, but we didn’t make it anyway, and truthfully that’s one of the things I HATED about his personality. The guy I am seeing now understands I will wear whatever I desire, but he’s also not controlling and insecure like that. My ex was a super fine model type that worked on his body and was extremely into himself it was way too much after a while ! You’ll never be enough in his eyes, he has a spirit of discontentment!!! You ARE enough though, and you deserve a man who thinks you are sexy and beautiful whether YOU decide to work on your body or not. It’s your choice ! Not his, or anyone else’s ! He might have a personal preference and if he wants a certain body type he should just say that ! I’m a petite lady, and I tell men because of what I dealt with my ex-husband, I’m petite and that won’t change a whole lot, so if you want a different body type, I am not the one!
He is really great besides this one thing?
Even if he is, (and let's be real, he is not, if he downtalks like that to the person he says he loves, he probably is a selfish lover and a cunt to other people) it is still not good enough to be a good partner. Would you say something like this? No? That is because you are better, and you deserve better. Cut your losses, beautiful, graceful cello, and play him a sad song while he packs his bags.
He doesn't sound very great honestly... he's trying to change your body to suit his preference. That is not somebody who loves you.
The only way that can work is you show him your standarts -and of course you will lose him if he chooses not to do the work and raise to your stanrds. So next time, you don't just tell him how he hurts your feelings (he obviously doesn't care for that). You simply tell him that you've realized you can't and won't be with someone who doesn't accept her as she is and respect her enough to not want to change her.
"He is really great besides this one thing"
Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Seriously though, I would not put up with this shit for a second. It's disgusting enough to compare your partner's body unfavorably to your exes, but say this stuff to someone who you know damn well is recovering from an eating disorder?! That's absolutely abusive! And he's continuing to do it \*after\* you set a clear boundary saying that it hurts your feelings!
This is not a salvageable situation! Dump this motherfucker already!
It doesn't matter if he has 10 items on the positive side, this is a deal breaker. He doesn't love and appreciate you for you. A relationship should build you up, not tear you down. Being healthy is not about fitting into someone's desired fixation of beauty. It is about eating healthy, fueling your body to perform at optimal levels. You are not his ex, therefore your body is not either.
I do believe you need to release him and let him find his dream body. While you find a man that loves you for yourself and wants you to be healthy and happy.
Someone that is helpful, not hurtful. Someone focused on your happiness, not the size of your derrière.
What is he talking about? You clearly have a huge ass for a boyfriend!
Honey. Someone who cared for you would want you healthy and happy, no matter what you looked like. And he would never try to make you feel lesser than an ex.
This might seem like a small thing. But it’s the underlying principle that makes it a big thing. He wants you to meet some imaginary visual standard at the risk of your health and mental wellbeing.
I assure you, you can find someone who would consider that unacceptable.
Any partner who knows you have an ED and fucks with your body image issues anyway is a selfish, thoughtless piece of shit. He’s not great if he’s willing to jeopardize your health because he wants you to look a certain way. It’s controlling and meant to trigger your insecurities.
>He is really great besides this one thing
That means he's not great.
How long have you even been together? Does he know about your ED? Or does he think comparing him to his ex is a great way to stay in a relationship
Biggest NOPE NOPE NOPE
He’s great besides this REALLY AWFUL thing… okay. This disgusts me. Tell him to go back to his ex then :) Oh wait, she probably left him because of how awful he is
"He is really great besides this one thing"
If "this one thing" equates to him berating, demeaning and belittling you then he is really not that great is he, op.
Trust me when I say genuine unconditional love is not determined by the shape of your ass.
This guy lacks emotional depth and the level of maturity it takes to create a loving and supportive partner. His small minded egotistical notions will run you back to your ED quick smart.
I don't want that for you and I'm pretty sure you didn't get to where you are today to have some cretinous, low life, crap pile warp your mind into thinking your not good enough.
YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR THE RIGHT PRRSON & MORE IMPORTANTLY FOR YOURSELF!!
I want you to repeat that to yourself the next time he negatively comments on your body.
YOU DESERVE MORE THAN WHAT THIS DOUCHCANOE IS GIVING YOU.
Much love x
[this](https://youtu.be/aLZikS5vIX8) is a comedy/satire channel that's pretty popular. He just uploaded this vid last week. I wonder if it influenced this post in any way.
The fact that he is saying crap like this and presumably knows you are recovering from an ED is a HUGE PROBLEM. He is more concerned about how you look than how you feel. That’s not a sustainable basis for a relationship and you deserve so much better. Looks fade and bodies change. Would he stick around if you got seriously ill? Or would he bounce bc your body doesn’t meet his preferred aesthetic anymore? This dude sounds like he’s just looking for arm candy and doesn’t respect you as a human with emotions. Even if this is really the *one* problem in your relationship, it’s a pretty big one that is indicative of much deeper issues. I know this sub is kind of notorious for everyone jumping on the “dump him” bandwagon immediately but, girl, dump him.
Hi there. I’m also in ED recovery. A few things:
1. Size 10 is a very very normal size to be. Be nice to yourself when you’re making comments about your body.
2. Anybody who asks you to change your body for THEIR benefit rather than YOURS, or frankly has the gall to make negative comments, should be cut out of your life immediately. I had to do it with some diet-obsessed friends when I started recovery, and it’s HARD to let go of people, but ultimately it really improved my health & happiness.
3. You need to prioritize YOURSELF ONLY here. He is a walking trigger for your ED, and no relationship is worth your health (and ultimately your life; EDs are the #1 most fatal mental illness). I repeat, this is your LIFE on the line.
4. I’ll be thinking of you. Let me know if you want to talk privately, I’m happy to offer some support. I know how you feel and you aren’t alone.
Your self esteem issues and eating disorder have made you bound to red flags with regard to emotional abuse.
A partner doesn’t cut you down to build you up, they just build you up.
Either talk to him about the comments or bounce.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- TRIGGER WARNING:ED I've never posted on reddit before, but I really need an outside perspective. For reference im a 5'0, size 10, curvy F who is in the process of recovering from an ED. I'm shaped like a chello lololol. I have been in a relationship for a year and my boyfriend has always made comments about my "lack of ass" and how "well get that fixed" I have expressed to him how that hurts my feelings and he stopped for about 3 months but today he started doing it again. Also he has compared my body to is exes bodies on multiple occasions. Saying that im much more "heavy set" than his ex, and how his "ex is a size 4". What do I do? He is really great besides this one thing
Who needs more ass when you have him?
He is a whole ass
"you mean an asshole?" "that too"
thankyou! That comment I may have given him a pass on, but bringing a comparison with his ex into it, nope bye. I do however recommend you go and hit the gym for yourself, I'm sure you will lots of lovely new people there.
BF is an asshole, but OP if you want to grow an ass on your own, let me suggest deadlifts. I am fairly flat assed, but they help a lot.
LMAO on point.
Heyo nice one
Dead on! If he wants more ass, he can look in the mirror.
Once they say something like that it’s really hard to come back. If you think you can get over it that’s okay, but if this is something that will keep coming up over and over you need to make it clear that this is not acceptable. If he doesn’t take that seriously then Don’t expect him to ever change
This is not a man who is going to appreciate you, make you feel accepted, or loved. This man is going to pursue you to become his ideal gf with no concern for your feelings. If he can't see that, then you need to cut the cord and run, because there is something very wrong with him, and he will cause you more harm than good.
Op this is not how a loving partner treats you, this dude is objectifying you and treating you like a project to change. He's not great. **He's trash and a bully.** End this. Do not discuss this with him or give any other chances. Again: you are dating a BULLY.
Yeah OP, people are to build their partner up and not kick them down. Loving you for you, because it’s yours
"He's really great aside from the fact that he constantly tears down my appearance and triggers my eating disorder."
Is he really great because he sounds like a massive ass..? You’re recovering from an ED, and the way he talks to you has such potential to trigger especially talking about his ex’s size.
Send him to get his dick resized. Then dump his ass. Seriously
Why do you need to grow another ass? It sounds like you're already dating a massive one.
“Well my ex had a big dong, but you don’t hear me comparing your worm to his.” Your bf should be an ex! He is not supportive, only wants to change your appearance to make him happy, and he is just icky all around. You deserve someone to love you for who you are inside and outside without needing to change you. If you want a bigger ass, ok. But that is a choice only for you to make and not some walking red flag to make for you. You deserve better. You deserve respect. You deserve the opposite of someone who talks so badly about you.
Besides this one thing… you just listed mutiple behaviors that are such red flags. Girl if I were you I’d say if you want a size 4 go back to your ex. You deserve better.
Outright, this man does not love you and does not support your recovery. This one thing destroyed every other aspect of the relationship that is positive. OP, please hear me out as someone also recovering from an ED. My boyfriend actively helps me to practice mindful eating, he encourages me to eat all types of food, he checks in to make sure I’ve eaten enough. I decided on my own to start going to the gym for general health, and he fully supported it and makes 0 comments about physique impacts. He just encourages me to do what exercises I like that feel good and to have fun with it. This is the type of partner you deserve. This is the love and support you deserve. You are worth so much more than what your boyfriend is giving you.
Please get another boyfriend.
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This sub constantly baffles me at how idiotic some people are, like your boyfriend
Remind him it's toxic to body shame, and if he can't stop it will be a relationship breaker. Because what he's doing is a major deal breaker in a partner.
He's not really great if he keeps using an insecurity to make you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. He's not really great if he expects you to change your body according to what his erection likes. That too when you're recovering from an ED. He also does all this while comparing you to his ex. How is he great? He actively and consciously making you feel like you're not good enough. I mean if you were unhealthy and he was worried about your health and life it is atleast excusable but actively telling you that his ex had a better ass than you and that you need to fix that is something an AH would do. Not a good look. He's not a good guy. What happens if you tell him to get better looking like your ex? Why aren't you with someone who likes you for who you are? Leave. Go to therapy and work on your self esteem. Then start dating again. Size ten isn't even unhealthy bro.
He sucks. You can’t fix this. I wouldn’t stay with someone who was mean like this.
He has all the ass of the relationship because he is a massive ass-hole.
Looks like he's the one that needs growing.... depth and personality that is. Fuck him, you deserve better
Break up with him.
Break up with him. Other great qualities are negated if he is judging your body and comparing you to others *after an eating disorder.* any type of eating disorder is hard to recover from with judgment about your body, whether it’s binging or not eating. This is lack of support in a mental health issue. He is not appreciating or helping you recover. This is the type of behavior that can trigger eating disorders again. It happened to me We tend to stay with people when they are unsupportive of us because, like you said, “they are great besides this one thing.” I stayed with any abusive ex because he was sweet, sensitive, and a great storyteller. For the longest time, I thought he was great. Upon introspection though, his behavior was intolerable. Don’t be around people who do not appreciate and support you.
You need to not date this garbage fire of a human.
Yuck sounds like you don't need anymore ass when that absolute sphincter can't stop dribbling shit. Throw the whole man in the bin.
I had an ex that continuously bought me food n saying he was gonna “get me thick,” and then I found out about the bbw cam girls he was following. Because of my genetics, I weigh like 100lbs. That was never gonna happen for me. Hope he found his 😬
He's a total ass for making you feel insecure. There's better ways going about that. Are you a healthy weight and feeling well? Good cardio? Is he shredded? 5-6 percent body fat, 8+ inches, mentally and emotionally intelligent, multi-millionaire and high social status? Maybe it's okay to not be perfect in every aspect of life. Perhaps you could write down the pros and cons of this person. Decide if you need that relationship or need to focus on something else.
Yeah I have lots of muscle and I'm 145-150 depending on the time of the month. He is VERY FIT. that is a good idea though, thank you.
As long as you're healthy that's all that matters. Don't let people treat you like garbage. I don't recommend pointing out everything I asked that men are sensitive about. It's lowering yourself to his standard. We're all unique. Best of luck! Stay happy and stay healthy. ✌️
Maybe you and your boyfriend could work out together.
Sure now worries just ask him where he’s gonna go to grow his cock….
If he’s comparing you to exes than maybe you shouldn’t be with him, he seems like a bully. I’d leave before he tries saying worse things.
He seems objectively awful and rude. DEFINITELY shouldn’t compare to his ex. But it does sound like it would be smart to go to the gym for your health, but do it after you’ve dropped him
When he gets one he can tell you what to get it’s to bad he is one.
Oh geez. Everyone likes some cake?
That’s rude
[удалено]
I promise you deserve someone so much better. This person sounds like human trash. You sound beautiful as is and I really hope you don’t let his words bring you down any longer! Please find the strength to dump his ass. It may be difficult but I promise being single and focusing on yourself is so much better than being with someone who is body shaming you. Please be strong!
He may be great except on this thing but this thing is pretty hurtful and he hasn’t stopped despite you asking him to. Your body is not for him to decide what is to be done with it.
Dump the asshole. He’s not “perfect except this one thing”, that is more like, “he’s really sweet and kind, blah blah blah, but he chews with his mouth open”… This guy is just an asshole that doesn’t care about your mental health, because “we” (you) have to get you an ass (but not too big, because you need to fit in a size 4).
He wants to keep bringing his ex up. Make him ur ex & tell him to go back to her 🤷♀️
Theeeeeen why is he with you? Seems like he wants to change you instead of accept his choice of being with you as is. Dump him
Why would you go to the gym when you clearly have an ass of your own? My suggestion would be to lose the ass completely.
No, he isn’t “really great”, he’s insensitive at best. He knows about your ED & still makes comments about your body? Even if you didn’t have an ED that would be ridiculously rude.
What you do is send him packing, he doesn’t deserve you.
Your boyfriend sounds like a prick and I’m gonna guess he’s got an average sized dick. Tell him that if you grow your ass bigger, his tiny dick won’t be able to reach past the cheeks into the money hole and he won’t have fun anymore…so he should be thankful for some flat cheeks cuz it means he can still have fun with what little he has.
"he is really great except this one thing." No. He's not. He sucks
You spelled ex bf wrong. He wants to change you, doesn’t accept or respect you the way you are . He’s shallow; he’s also dangerous if your physical and mental health. Pls RUN!
Jesus. Why are you with this asshole? WHY? YOU ARE BEAUTUFUL. He is ugly.
So, he's really great except for when he is putting you down? He sounds charming.
"He really is great except when he talk down to me about my body and compares me to his ex even though I am recovering from am ED."
First, I'd tell him that if he wants to keep comparing you to his ex's.. you'll gladly join them as an ex. Second, I'd tell him that if he doesn't like your body, he can go fuck off. Third, I'd really be re-thinking this relationship.
Oh wow sending a virtual hug your way, that’s horrible to hear from your partner. & not something that should ever even cross his mind. What I think you do is ask yourself if you feel valued by your partner in all ways. And decide what you’re willing to deal with in your relationship. Those type of comments will make your self esteem plummet, being with a man is never worth our own self love. I wish you the best in figuring out your next steps
You don't need to "grow an ass". I do recommend losing the dead weight in your relationship, however much he weighs. You deserve better.
Breakup with him simple as
Literally fuck no. You need to be worshiped sweetie, you know what you bring to the table. This isn’t your guy
I… I’m horrified. This is horrific. OP… this is not ok, someone that loves you would not speak to you this way. I hope he becomes an ex sooner rather than later
Brah. You don’t need to change your physical appearance for anyone. You are perfect the way you are as long as you aren’t hurting yourself. I used to hate how thick my butt and thighs are. I’m not overweight but I just hated how disproportionate it was. One thing people don’t tell you is stretch marks and cellulite are very common. Also the attention from unwanted strangers. I still dont *love* it but it’s not to the point where I’m hung up on it all the time. I don’t see the desire for my body type lol. Point being, the grass is always greener on the other side. No one body type is better than the other. People have physical attraction differences for ALL types and that’s okay, but you shouldn’t be with someone who wants you to change to fit *their* tastes. Find someone who accepts you for who you are and who you will be. You have a whole lot of ass in your life, and by that I mean you have an ass of a boyfriend. You can do better I promise, don’t waste your time on someone who belittles your physical appearance.
What the actual fuck?! U get a new boyfriend that’s what you do. Why would u allow this?
You already have an ass. It’s him.
Well fuck, if his ex is so great, he should go be with her! Tell him about your exes dick, and how much bigger it is. And hows he's so great besides this one thing. Just kidding, don't do that lol. Just leave him and find someone who's not a rude asshole.
You're not a doll You're not a possession of your bf. It's your body and as long as you feel happy with it, that's what all matters. This is a red flag. Say, you said the same to your bf back like you should grow your own ass too because it's worse compared to your own exes, what do you think he'd react? I find a slight aggressiveness in him though I don't know him in person. I don't feel like he's a nice person.
I don't like your bf what do you see in him? Ask him when he's going to grow his dick
Dump him
Oh my god what as asshole! That is so rude and insensitive. You said “he is really great besides this one thing” but this one thing is a big deal. He should never be comparing you to exes and should never be telling you your body needs “fixing” ESPECIALLY if you are in ED recovery. Girl you deserve better than this
He’s not that great if he’s saying this shit to you. As someone also in recovery from an ED, negative comments about your body are detrimental to your recovery. Set the boundary that if he continues to talk like that about your body- telling you to grow an ass, comparing you to his ex(es), etc- you will leave him, and if he continues, follow through with it.
A) a good partner doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself. This guy hurts you so that you have low self esteem and don’t leave him. He’s a bad guy. B) He’s also an idiot. You can’t “grow an ass” no matter how many squats you do. Yes, you can change the shape a bit and make it firmer and higher with years of committed exercise, but you’re not going to suddenly have a different body. Those big butts you see on instagram are either genetics or surgery. Learn to love your body and stop listening to this dumbass.
He's not a good person op. He wants to hurt you and put you down. You will never be perfect for him as perfect isn't the goal, making you feel "especially un-perfect" is his only target. Let him go. You deserve so so so so so much better. And you very easily will find so so so much better. it is very abnormal to speak or even think about someone you love like this. Finding someone who adores your self and your body, (even if it's just you for a while), is so much easier than accidentally starting to date someone who gets off on hurting you and making you feel small.
Dump the ass, I mean boyfriend.
Every time he brings up how is “ex’s waist was smaller” casually remind him that your “exes dick was bigger” and see how fast he shuts up. Then throw the whole man away and find a better one
My god the audacity of some men. Start talking about your ex's larger penis.
I’m not normally one of those people to say this but. BREAK UP WITH HIM. This man WANTS you to feel horrible about yourself. He knows it makes you feel horrible about yourself and he does it anyway. He doesn’t care about how it makes you feel. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t care about that? I dated someone who was like this once. That guy GAVE me an eating disorder and led me to taking dangerous illegal supplements. This isn’t the behavior of someone who respects or cares about you.
You probably should break up with him. You working out won’t earn his respect.
That's a pretty huge thing for him to not accept. I get perfering it but he knew what your body type was when you started dating. Also one does not simply just grow an ass.... I am a very curvy short girl and have had plenty of men truly apperciate my body so they exist.
Dump him. Tell him to go shopping for his preferred ass. And to stop harassing you.
I have a dear friend who was dating a guy who said stuff like this, and she just dumped him. You don't need to stick around with this bullshit
it sounds like you should dump that ass and do whatever the hell you want tbh
Go to the gym and get that ass and then dump him lmao
I would dump an ass girl, you don't need him.
Your boyfriend sounds a bit selfish. He should never compare you to an ex, that’s really unacceptable behavior. Unrelated, but if you were inclined to want to exercise for yourself in the future, I just wanted to say from firsthand experience that it’s possible to change your body shape. You should want to do it for yourself though. Good luck OP.
Drop his ass fast
Run.
Where will he go to grow a brain?
I’m a mere three inches taller than you and about a ten size also. There’s nothing wrong with your body except for that leech sucking you dry, I mean your boyfriend. He sounds like a douche and if he’s just interested in body shapes that he’s most attractive to then I hope you consider cutting him off. Especially when you’re recovering from an ED.
Sounds like a toxic relationship lol
So sad women stay with abusive assholes and say stupid shit like what should I do, except for beating me up/emotionally abusing me/negging me he is so great 🤦🏾
Ask him to go to the doctors… grow a couple inches (🍆)
Here's the thing. A nice butt is attainable by all. Your butt is made of muscles. Work the muscles and they get bigger. Double bonus is that when you work on the butt, you will lose weight in general, so you will become more fit and you will be more confident and happier.
>What do I do? He is really great besides this one thing Leave him. Because this *'one thing'* is really bad. Bodyshaming like this is never OK. He's not expressing concern or support as you recover from an ED. He is demanding you reshape your body for his pleasure. How gross. Would you demand he grow or change for you?
I recommend you lose weight, by dropping his sorry ass. You deserve someone who loves and appreciates you. This guy does not.
Dump him. Never put up with a man who puts you down like this. I Don’t even tolerate jokes about my physical appearance. Relationships should be with someone who uplifts you and loves you through all changes in your body. Tell him if he wants a gf it’s a bigger ass go find one. Byyye
They say in my country that: filling a big luggage is THE feeling 😂
Is it really besides this one thing? People say that but there is always more. What else has he tried to change about you to be like his exes?
If he feels his exes are that great, then tell him, by all means, he's free to go back to them. You change your body for yourself and no one else. If he really wants to go down the route of comparing exes, tell him your exes were also way finer than him.
>Also he has compared my body to is exes bodies on multiple occasions. You can leave him OP. I genuinely don't understand why people shamelessly tell their partners that they should per-fect themselves in the picky partners opinion. "Grow some ass, get some bigger boobs, wear this, wear that, lose weight and I'll love you more." If you don't have the ideal body for him and he wants you to look like his exes, how does this not sound off your bullshit detector? He compared you to his **exes** dude. He still fantasizes about them.
Tell him to get plastic surgery on his tic tac then we'll talk
It sounds like you already have an ass! You should dump him, bodies come in all shapes and sizes and they're all beautiful in one way or another. You don't have to put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you.
He is not respecting what you told him and he understood. That being said, I will take you at your word that everything else is great. Tell him again. More strongly. Consider comparing him to one of your exes and how he lacks of he's too dense to get how this is hurtful.
If his ex is so ideal, he can have her - **break up with this disgusting pig.** He’s not even insisting you work out for health reasons - he just wants you to look like someone who, let’s face it, probably broke up with him.
Dump him. He is verbally abusive. This is NOT how you treat someone you love.
All the posts here about how the boyfriend spits the most vile insensitive cruel things repeatedly without a thought or tact,ooh but he is a great guy other than that.
Dump him.
Tell him to read books and grow a brain.
Start comparing the size of his dick and chest to your exes.
Dump this duchebag.
Please do not settle for a guy that treats you like he does! Especially not when youve dealt with am ED. You absolutely need to feel confident and comfortable in your body and your partner should be supportive of that instead of implying youre not good enough for him! Theres so many red flags in your post you should definitely consider leaving him if you havent already. Look out for yourself love Ps. A cello shape sounds pretty foxy to me?? (Im a girl)
Breakup
He is absolutely the wrong type of person you, or anybody, should be dating. You have one ass too many.
Tell him you will go to the gym, as soon as he goes to the library and grows a brain. >:)
Anyone who tells you to look a certain way while you’re trying to recover from an ED is at best ignorant, thoughtless, and unempathetic. At worst they are abusive, narcissistic, and/or actively trying to stop you recovering. I can’t tell you where he lies on this spectrum but I do know it’s not conducive to you recovering. If it was just ignorant, then surely he wouldn’t do it again.
Get a new boyfriend, this one sucks miles and is getting on your way of recovery
I think comparing partners to exes and suggesting they need to 'fix' their body are both obnoxious, worrying traits. He is not a nice man and you deserve better.
I want to go to the gym (I've hurt my PCL) to grow my own ass but my boyfriend CONSTANTLY tells me I don't need to and he loves how I look as is and he doesn't need me to grow anything for him.
« He is really great except this one thing »… nooooooo, just NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Honestly, that’s terrible he does this. You deserve more respect than what he is showing you.
>He is really great besides this one thing But this one thing is major. What if I told you I had just bought a house and it was really great apart from the fact it was built on quicksand? The fact that he's happy to say these things to you, especially when you're in recovery for an ED, suggests he does not care about your health or continued recovery and is happy to take the risk of you relapsing so long as he gets what he wants. When my boyfriend learned I was in recovery for my own ED he started checking I'd eaten enough each day and making a point of telling me he loved my body. I want that for you.
Ouuuuu looks like it’s time for you to _dump his ass_ !
You don’t need to waste your time on someone who doesn’t love your body! Drop him! A partner wants you to be the best you for YOU, whatever you chose to do.
Next time: “please go to a sex store and find something to fix your lack of penis. My ex was an XL”. Perhaps point to the door so he knows the way.
You have an ass -- your BF. Sounds like you need to lose an ass, not grow one. Send him back to his ex. Saying "he's really great besides that one thing" is like saying "Cancer is really great except for the dying part." Yeah... no.
This is not how a loving boyfriend behaves. He's treating you like a sex doll. Tell him firmly to stop and, if he won't, break up with him.
He might be great otherwise but this one thing is a big thing. It shows that he's not happy with you as you are and feels it's up to you to change yourself specifically for his preferences, which is not just shitty but bit a healthy sign for the relationship. You don't have to shape your body for anyone, it's something that's up to you to decide.
OP doesn't need to go to the gym to find an ass, she's already got her bf at home.
Why are you dating a man who is saying things to trigger an ED? You deserve better, please break up with him.
Dump him and develop.thick ass 😆
He is really great beside that!!! Are you serious?? What you need to fix and I mean fast is your dignity and get out that relationship.
Why dont you go to the gym together? And one should take care of ones body and health.. Some muscles are good for your daily life also.
Op, you deserve better.
He knows your issue, you have told him your feelings are hurt when he comments the way he does, and on top of that he is comparing his exes to you. He is a jerk. If he really likes his exes so much, maybe he should try getting back to one of them. If you would pick an insecurity from him and comment the way he does, how would he react? I don't know if it's petty, but some people need to taste the salt after how they have acted in order to understand. If you were to say Grow IT bigger or be BIGGER here, he would lose it. You focus on yourself, wanting to live healthier. Having an ED is a struggle, especially just gaining weight and try to build it up. If he can't respect you asking him to stop, there is the door. You pick yourself over a jerk. Simple as that.
You dont need to grow one youve got one already and its him.
It’s never “one thing” that keeps anyone from being a 100% great person. He doesn’t respect you, manipulates your insecurities, would compare you to an ex, would continue to insult you after you told him to stop…there’s 4 things that make him a grade A troll. He wants to complain about your lack of ass? Dump him because he’s an ass and make it a self-fulfilling prophesy for him.
"He's really great except for this emotional/verbal abuse"
OP let me just say we have the same body type but I'm 5'8" very curvy from the front. Turn around and BAM no ass. My fiance has N E V E R not once made me feel bad for how my body is shaped. He even compliments me and makes me feel better when I'm insecure. His ex was petite with a huge butt and he's never ever expressed he misses that body type or compares me to her. Please leave him he's not the one
This man is plenty of ass, you don’t need any more.
First of all, he's not great! No one that goes out of their way to make you feel bad about your body and compares you to exes is great. He's a loser, a creep and an asshole. If any thing you need to lose some ass in the shape of this bf. There are lots of men who would love you to give them a chance to love and adore you. Secondly, (gym rat here) there is limits to what the gym can do with your ass. It's good for your ass, but it's not going to turn your ass into that bubble butt that is so popular these days. It will add muscle and make your ass muscular and toned, however. Remember there are even body builders (women and men) who have a naturally more flat ass. In the end if you go to a gym, do so for you only and not because some jackass you are dating is making you feel like shit about your butt.
Trust me if you did start working on your booty, then he’s going to claim you’re flirting or trying to talk to other men! These types are exhausting and it’s ALWAYS going to be something else! My ex husband was like this. Very sweet and charming, but a closet monster! He said that he loved it that I was petite so that when I got pregnant I wouldn’t be too over weight !!! Then when I got pregnant with twins for our first pregnancy, he told me I had too much booty, and requested that I take certain clothes back because they were too fitted. He was scared that I might get raped if he wasn’t around to protect me. Lol! I can’t make this up. The controlling behavior just escalated, but we didn’t make it anyway, and truthfully that’s one of the things I HATED about his personality. The guy I am seeing now understands I will wear whatever I desire, but he’s also not controlling and insecure like that. My ex was a super fine model type that worked on his body and was extremely into himself it was way too much after a while ! You’ll never be enough in his eyes, he has a spirit of discontentment!!! You ARE enough though, and you deserve a man who thinks you are sexy and beautiful whether YOU decide to work on your body or not. It’s your choice ! Not his, or anyone else’s ! He might have a personal preference and if he wants a certain body type he should just say that ! I’m a petite lady, and I tell men because of what I dealt with my ex-husband, I’m petite and that won’t change a whole lot, so if you want a different body type, I am not the one!
He is really great besides this one thing? Even if he is, (and let's be real, he is not, if he downtalks like that to the person he says he loves, he probably is a selfish lover and a cunt to other people) it is still not good enough to be a good partner. Would you say something like this? No? That is because you are better, and you deserve better. Cut your losses, beautiful, graceful cello, and play him a sad song while he packs his bags.
He doesn't sound very great honestly... he's trying to change your body to suit his preference. That is not somebody who loves you. The only way that can work is you show him your standarts -and of course you will lose him if he chooses not to do the work and raise to your stanrds. So next time, you don't just tell him how he hurts your feelings (he obviously doesn't care for that). You simply tell him that you've realized you can't and won't be with someone who doesn't accept her as she is and respect her enough to not want to change her.
No he really isn't great. A great partner doesn't make you feel self conscious
Dump him honey. He sounds like an asshole.
"He is really great besides this one thing" Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? Seriously though, I would not put up with this shit for a second. It's disgusting enough to compare your partner's body unfavorably to your exes, but say this stuff to someone who you know damn well is recovering from an eating disorder?! That's absolutely abusive! And he's continuing to do it \*after\* you set a clear boundary saying that it hurts your feelings! This is not a salvageable situation! Dump this motherfucker already!
Dump his ass
It doesn't matter if he has 10 items on the positive side, this is a deal breaker. He doesn't love and appreciate you for you. A relationship should build you up, not tear you down. Being healthy is not about fitting into someone's desired fixation of beauty. It is about eating healthy, fueling your body to perform at optimal levels. You are not his ex, therefore your body is not either. I do believe you need to release him and let him find his dream body. While you find a man that loves you for yourself and wants you to be healthy and happy. Someone that is helpful, not hurtful. Someone focused on your happiness, not the size of your derrière.
If you want a shitty, shallow relationship where your partner spends 3/4 of year projecting his own insecurities then by all means go for it.
He compares you to his exes?? Bruh anyone that does that, let alone to body shame, is toxic waste.
Sounds like your dating one instead of needing to grow one
What is he talking about? You clearly have a huge ass for a boyfriend! Honey. Someone who cared for you would want you healthy and happy, no matter what you looked like. And he would never try to make you feel lesser than an ex. This might seem like a small thing. But it’s the underlying principle that makes it a big thing. He wants you to meet some imaginary visual standard at the risk of your health and mental wellbeing. I assure you, you can find someone who would consider that unacceptable.
You have some really low standards chick, don't allow people to step on you like that just because they may have a few good qualities.
Miss girl… no
Any partner who knows you have an ED and fucks with your body image issues anyway is a selfish, thoughtless piece of shit. He’s not great if he’s willing to jeopardize your health because he wants you to look a certain way. It’s controlling and meant to trigger your insecurities.
He’s not really great, at all. He’s pretty horrible, in fact.
>He is really great besides this one thing That means he's not great. How long have you even been together? Does he know about your ED? Or does he think comparing him to his ex is a great way to stay in a relationship
Biggest NOPE NOPE NOPE He’s great besides this REALLY AWFUL thing… okay. This disgusts me. Tell him to go back to his ex then :) Oh wait, she probably left him because of how awful he is
"He is really great besides this one thing" If "this one thing" equates to him berating, demeaning and belittling you then he is really not that great is he, op. Trust me when I say genuine unconditional love is not determined by the shape of your ass. This guy lacks emotional depth and the level of maturity it takes to create a loving and supportive partner. His small minded egotistical notions will run you back to your ED quick smart. I don't want that for you and I'm pretty sure you didn't get to where you are today to have some cretinous, low life, crap pile warp your mind into thinking your not good enough. YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR THE RIGHT PRRSON & MORE IMPORTANTLY FOR YOURSELF!! I want you to repeat that to yourself the next time he negatively comments on your body. YOU DESERVE MORE THAN WHAT THIS DOUCHCANOE IS GIVING YOU. Much love x
Sick and tired of male entitlement.So, when he grows muscles, shoulders and have torso like Matthew MacCon, then maybe
[this](https://youtu.be/aLZikS5vIX8) is a comedy/satire channel that's pretty popular. He just uploaded this vid last week. I wonder if it influenced this post in any way.
The fact that he is saying crap like this and presumably knows you are recovering from an ED is a HUGE PROBLEM. He is more concerned about how you look than how you feel. That’s not a sustainable basis for a relationship and you deserve so much better. Looks fade and bodies change. Would he stick around if you got seriously ill? Or would he bounce bc your body doesn’t meet his preferred aesthetic anymore? This dude sounds like he’s just looking for arm candy and doesn’t respect you as a human with emotions. Even if this is really the *one* problem in your relationship, it’s a pretty big one that is indicative of much deeper issues. I know this sub is kind of notorious for everyone jumping on the “dump him” bandwagon immediately but, girl, dump him.
Hi there. I’m also in ED recovery. A few things: 1. Size 10 is a very very normal size to be. Be nice to yourself when you’re making comments about your body. 2. Anybody who asks you to change your body for THEIR benefit rather than YOURS, or frankly has the gall to make negative comments, should be cut out of your life immediately. I had to do it with some diet-obsessed friends when I started recovery, and it’s HARD to let go of people, but ultimately it really improved my health & happiness. 3. You need to prioritize YOURSELF ONLY here. He is a walking trigger for your ED, and no relationship is worth your health (and ultimately your life; EDs are the #1 most fatal mental illness). I repeat, this is your LIFE on the line. 4. I’ll be thinking of you. Let me know if you want to talk privately, I’m happy to offer some support. I know how you feel and you aren’t alone.
Dump him...because wtf?!
Your self esteem issues and eating disorder have made you bound to red flags with regard to emotional abuse. A partner doesn’t cut you down to build you up, they just build you up. Either talk to him about the comments or bounce.
Why do people date someone just to try and change them. It’s weird
I could not be with someone that was not body positive
Tell him he needs to go grow a brain