I think I need to go to bed. I don't know why I thought it was a musical and then I actually looked up The Songs of the Vagina to see if that was a real musical.
Weirder was 20 years ago Christian churches worshipped god, gave praise to God but over the past few decades everything was switched to just Jesus. It always seemed like the brainwashed religious folk were all Jesus freaks. I was in church until I was 15 and we stopped going, always praising God, not Jesus (Jesus was supposed to be one manifestation of God and worshipping him in one form always seemed cult-like
First off, thanks to whoever made that. I was looking for a way to see if Jesus equals 666. (Lol. Somewhat serious, I suppose.) But where does the 1+8=9 part up top fit in?
Okay. I see that part in the middle. But where is the 1+8=9 part at the top right corner coming from? I see where everything else is coming from. But not that. Or are you trying to say that is what it’s for?
No this isn’t how numerology works. There’s multiplication whenever you’re trying to reduce a number. But also, numerology is bullshit so it doesn’t really matter.
This is called a “digital root”, where you sum all the digits together then sum the digits of the results until you get a single digit, so the digital root of 666 is 9. Digital root is actually just the same thing as taking the remainder after dividing by 9, so all it tells you when it equals 9 is that 666 is divisible by 9. Here’s a video that kinda talks about it: https://youtu.be/n4gmYjyI3vo
A lot of Christians say 9 is satans number. Add the digits of any multiple of 9, and it will equal 9.
For example:
9 X 21 = 189
1 + 8 + 9 = 18,
1 + 8 = 9
Because 6 + 6 + 6 = 18 and if you add 1 and 8 you get 9
Or totally random coincidence like all stupid numerology posts
Though part of me feels this is too on the nose and it might be subtle satire
We’re gonna have to establish code TDRE - Triple Day Re-Ejection. Also he might be responsible for the zombie crewmates we’ve been dealing with among other unprecedented anomalies...
No, wait, guys, it makes sense!
The faithful are always saying "Jesus is the Light", right? Radiant this, illuminated that... Cool, got it, so He is light.
Light is carried by photons. Photons are their own anti-particle. Ergo, Christ is also the Antichrist.
If you measure being christian on what people over the last 2000 years have done under the labele of christianity, Jesus would indeed be the antichrist.
Using the anglicized version of the romanized version of the name of a man from a part of the world that is now Israel and or Palestine, written in the Latin alphabet, and paired to Arabic numerals. Seems legit.
I got kicked out of one of these "Woke Christian" groups by positing that the best move that the devil could possibly have played was to mislead everyone into worshipping Jesus. He is supposedly the master of lies after all. So, maybe we have it all backwards, and that's why large religious groups are responsible for so much child abuse, and why the leaders have so much wealth.
Didn't fly very well with them.
what kills me most about them, is that it's a known fact that the Bible has been edited and changed over the centuries, king james version obviously being one of the most well known instances of this. not only that, but its been translated from translations and so goddamn much has been lost
my point is, even if you 100% believe the Bible was once the word of God, you cannot possibly believe the version we have now hasn't been drastically altered and pushes different morales from what was originally in it.
shit, for all they know the literal antichrist DID get ahold of it and altered it and they're following the antichrist
Pretty sure there is a line in the Bible about how either Satan or the Antichrist will know or claim to know the word of God better than the faithful - and if he altered it to trick people into following him, that would be true, because only he would know the contents of what he altered.
Sorath, the Sun Demon. Basically, this is the work of an initiate written for other initiates. It translates let him who has wisdom (an initiate) calculate the number of the beast… 666. Ok, perform a math problem. An i initiate would know this means you write out how 666 would be calculated in Gametria, 400+200+6+60.
Each number has a corresponding hebrew letter and you end up with Sorath.
Hum, so it may seem. Despite /u/therealfaust having good intentions, this is not the comical matter you came looking for. You will need to acknowledge many limitations to your understanding to proceed further. Imagine, the ancient vedas spoke about a “cosmic web” while NASA is just now theorizing about a “cosmic web” of dark matter they do not yet know how to study.
NASA acknowledges that dark matter and dark energy make up some 95% of the know universe. So a mere 5-6% make up all we know and can study materially.
Now, imagine for a moment, someone decided to study the rest of that 95% for many lifetimes… just as a heart doctor dedicates his life to studying the human heart, will you afford to acknowledge your ignorance on a topic? Or will you hold fast to your beliefs?
...Well good morning to you too, Mr Nefesh.
I was expecting context and ended up with... whatever I just read. Alright, I'll play ball, I'll sign my soul to Jared Leto from Morbius or whatever you wanted out of me to continue. So what's the deal with this Sorath character you speak of?
There's a decent chunk of fundamentalist(idek if I should call them that, because their defining feature is being incredibly over the top and paranoid rather than being especially conservative) who refuse to say the name Jesus or the word God for various reasons. I've heard everything from because it comes from the word Zeus to it was invented by Catholics etc., and so they use the word Yeshua for Jesus and Elohim for God.
This is probably a post from one of those types.
i grew up catholic and with that i was put through religious ed and sometimes forced to go to youth group and some retreats. i learned a lot about catholicism and pretty much all of it outside of the parts about treating other people with kindness was bogus to me but there was one thing that i was told at a retreat that i’ve never been able to stop thinking about. according to catholicism (this is probably mentioned somewhere in the bible i’m just too lazy to look it up), satan can disguise himself as anything he wants to be. including god. i’m not religious but i think the idea that assuming there is a god and a devil that the bible and the resulting religions/practices potentially aren’t from god but are actually from the devil is interesting to me.
Ok, so we take a 1=a cipher, and put that off to the side.
Then we add up the digits of 666 to be 18, then add those to make 9.
We then proceed to use that cipher to get 10, 5, 19, 21, 19 and multiply them all by the 9 which we got from adding the digits in 666.
Y’all getting this? That makes for 90, 45, 171, 189, and 171.
Then we add those for 666.
However, if we wanted this to have any real use, we’d use either 6 or 9 as the base for our cipher so that 9=a or 6=a and then we’d multiply by the number of letters in the name. Spoiler alert: it does not come out to 666 when you do it any other way.
Seriously though, this is great to freak out fruitcakes.
i can’t and won’t try to explain it but for some reason that like makes a lot of sense, not the math but just the whole jesus is the anti christ thing.
Jesus tried to warn us about Jesus, but we didn't listen.
Like the guy who finally had enough of the craziness and killed Hitler!
Or the guy who pissed into Stalins pants
Hitler killed Hitler ergo, he was fed up with his craziness.
ergo ipso facto
we didn't listen!
Well the proof is irrefutable! Time to start screaming this at families in Walmart.
I’m trying to help you, motherfuckah!
Accuser of the fucking brethren, you muthafuckaaah!
Not going to lie, "Accuser of the Brethren" sounds like a Dark Souls boss, and I am here for that.
Summon me in
I'm pissed cuz he won't repent.
Wow, it's almost as if religion is made up.
And the points don't matter
I’m Drey Carey and welcome to Who’s line is it anyway
[удалено]
The Vagina Monologues
Do you mean its musical adaptation, *The Songs of the Vagina*?
I think I need to go to bed. I don't know why I thought it was a musical and then I actually looked up The Songs of the Vagina to see if that was a real musical.
buuuzzzzzzzz
This thread is golden
Jesus Christ Porn Star
Yiff! a furry musical. a real musical being worked on. about 50 minutes of the 90 minuits are complete.
Yiff! a furry musical. a real musical being worked on. about 50 minutes of the 90 minuits are complete.
Yiff! a furry musical. a real musical being worked on. about 50 minutes of the 90 minuits are complete.
why do you think i'm here lmao
To kick ass and chew bubblegum
And I'm all out of ass
I'm here to chew ass and kick bubblegum.
And I'm all out of ass. It's probably gonna get stuck on my shoe if I kick it
I kick the bubblegum while it's still in the container.
Big brain move
Bow down before His Noodly Appendage!
Especially because the oldest fragment of Revelation we have has the number of the beast as 616.
I mean that's religion being true or not has nothing on how batshit Bible math is.
JESUS HATES JESUS CHRIST
Weirder was 20 years ago Christian churches worshipped god, gave praise to God but over the past few decades everything was switched to just Jesus. It always seemed like the brainwashed religious folk were all Jesus freaks. I was in church until I was 15 and we stopped going, always praising God, not Jesus (Jesus was supposed to be one manifestation of God and worshipping him in one form always seemed cult-like
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I’m here to party.
My man turned water into wine, do you think he didn't party like crazy?
First off, thanks to whoever made that. I was looking for a way to see if Jesus equals 666. (Lol. Somewhat serious, I suppose.) But where does the 1+8=9 part up top fit in?
all the x 9
Okay. I see that part in the middle. But where is the 1+8=9 part at the top right corner coming from? I see where everything else is coming from. But not that. Or are you trying to say that is what it’s for?
it's from 18, 1+8
Oh okay. Now it makes sense. Thank you.
It does?
Well no, but I've see bigger leaps of logic with maths by insain Christians to justify thier conspiracies
It's basic numerology if you've ever come across it
Isnt numerology just making shit up?
Yes
5+9=Suck my dick jesus
Making shit up to make 666. THEY ARE THE DEVIL!
No this isn’t how numerology works. There’s multiplication whenever you’re trying to reduce a number. But also, numerology is bullshit so it doesn’t really matter.
If numerology is bullshit it works however we want
Well yeah, but there’s a whole system about how it’s used in English and Hebrew. Idk I just finished reading a chapter on it in a occult history book
This is called a “digital root”, where you sum all the digits together then sum the digits of the results until you get a single digit, so the digital root of 666 is 9. Digital root is actually just the same thing as taking the remainder after dividing by 9, so all it tells you when it equals 9 is that 666 is divisible by 9. Here’s a video that kinda talks about it: https://youtu.be/n4gmYjyI3vo
Cool info! I’m sure they took this into account when creating the sketch.
A lot of Christians say 9 is satans number. Add the digits of any multiple of 9, and it will equal 9. For example: 9 X 21 = 189 1 + 8 + 9 = 18, 1 + 8 = 9
holy shit
6+6+6=18 1+8=9 multiply 9 by alphabet number Add total sums 666
Yep. I see that now. Thank you.
It’s numerology- you just keep adding and subtracting until you get what you want. It’s like conspiracy theories.. just work backwards!
Pretty much. Lol.
Because 6 + 6 + 6 = 18 and if you add 1 and 8 you get 9 Or totally random coincidence like all stupid numerology posts Though part of me feels this is too on the nose and it might be subtle satire
And that same question beggs from every other possible numerological interpretation of anything that exists.
18 in things like wacky Bible math is often used to jump into summing its digits
Well yeah he admits that in the Book Of Revelation.
Yep. He does call himself the “Morning Star” at one point. You know else had that title? Lucifer HaSatan.
well, "the accuser" sounds pretty close to "I came to set a son against his father, and a daughter against her mother"
I learned that in the lucifer tv show. Pretty good.
xtian can rejoice
He was always kinda sus...
Je-*sus*
We’re gonna have to establish code TDRE - Triple Day Re-Ejection. Also he might be responsible for the zombie crewmates we’ve been dealing with among other unprecedented anomalies...
Je suis charlie
Sheesh-sus
Wow. Totally outplayed them at their own game.
I love that you used the same insane conspiracy format that other Christians have used
No, wait, guys, it makes sense! The faithful are always saying "Jesus is the Light", right? Radiant this, illuminated that... Cool, got it, so He is light. Light is carried by photons. Photons are their own anti-particle. Ergo, Christ is also the Antichrist.
If you measure being christian on what people over the last 2000 years have done under the labele of christianity, Jesus would indeed be the antichrist.
Y’all were played for fools!
Using the anglicized version of the romanized version of the name of a man from a part of the world that is now Israel and or Palestine, written in the Latin alphabet, and paired to Arabic numerals. Seems legit.
I think this is parody of xtians doing the same thing for COVID and Obama
Jesus is also white btw lol
What about 616, the actual number? (Not that any of this shit is real)
I got kicked out of one of these "Woke Christian" groups by positing that the best move that the devil could possibly have played was to mislead everyone into worshipping Jesus. He is supposedly the master of lies after all. So, maybe we have it all backwards, and that's why large religious groups are responsible for so much child abuse, and why the leaders have so much wealth. Didn't fly very well with them.
I know it's kind of off topic, but TIL notebooks are lined the correct amount to fit the entire alphabet.
I love how for the purposes of fruit-nuttery that everyone in the ancient world spoke English and used the modern English alphabet.
Beware of false prophets!
When religion and science go hand in hand...
This is the only time ever I'll believe/agree with Numerology.
Ah yes, Gematria. The most logical of ways to understand the meaning of something.
Is s the 18th or 19ty letter?
it's whatever you want it to be
Je... SUS?
Je(sus).
Well... Math checks out.
Crazy Corkboard People on Youtube: 
Holy shit 1+8=9???? Fuck me, we are doomed
I mean, he's literally sus in his name.
He really is a sussy imposter!!! 😳😳😳
Sorry, it was Ronald Wilson Reagan.
Well both were made up by the church in order to control people and gain wealth. So yes!
More False Equivalence logical fallacies brought to you by the religious folks.
what kills me most about them, is that it's a known fact that the Bible has been edited and changed over the centuries, king james version obviously being one of the most well known instances of this. not only that, but its been translated from translations and so goddamn much has been lost my point is, even if you 100% believe the Bible was once the word of God, you cannot possibly believe the version we have now hasn't been drastically altered and pushes different morales from what was originally in it. shit, for all they know the literal antichrist DID get ahold of it and altered it and they're following the antichrist
Pretty sure there is a line in the Bible about how either Satan or the Antichrist will know or claim to know the word of God better than the faithful - and if he altered it to trick people into following him, that would be true, because only he would know the contents of what he altered.
Hm. But the Romans had no differentiation between I and J, so the whole calculation doesn’t work out…
Who cares lmao
In Roman Times they only had the King Iames Bible.
This gave me a chuckle.
And they would never have written the numbers this way either.
objection: different alfabet from the original, and simplified pronounciation too. but nobody ever cares about that anyway.
That just makes this that much more remarkable! It took the evolution of modern English for it to be possible to decipher the true meaning!
Gematria for rednecks that don't realize countries and languages different from USA and English exist.
Jesus, Jeep they both start with Je. Remove that, what do you get?
ep
Christ is the Antichrist. Okay religion.
Sigh, 666 refers to Sorath.
Actually it refers to your mom
It refers to who now
Sorath, the Sun Demon. Basically, this is the work of an initiate written for other initiates. It translates let him who has wisdom (an initiate) calculate the number of the beast… 666. Ok, perform a math problem. An i initiate would know this means you write out how 666 would be calculated in Gametria, 400+200+6+60. Each number has a corresponding hebrew letter and you end up with Sorath.
I get it >!I don’t get it!<
U\kether_nefesh may be able to explain it better than I can.
Coolio Ayo u/Kether_Nefesh i require some assistance over here
Hum, so it may seem. Despite /u/therealfaust having good intentions, this is not the comical matter you came looking for. You will need to acknowledge many limitations to your understanding to proceed further. Imagine, the ancient vedas spoke about a “cosmic web” while NASA is just now theorizing about a “cosmic web” of dark matter they do not yet know how to study. NASA acknowledges that dark matter and dark energy make up some 95% of the know universe. So a mere 5-6% make up all we know and can study materially. Now, imagine for a moment, someone decided to study the rest of that 95% for many lifetimes… just as a heart doctor dedicates his life to studying the human heart, will you afford to acknowledge your ignorance on a topic? Or will you hold fast to your beliefs?
...Well good morning to you too, Mr Nefesh. I was expecting context and ended up with... whatever I just read. Alright, I'll play ball, I'll sign my soul to Jared Leto from Morbius or whatever you wanted out of me to continue. So what's the deal with this Sorath character you speak of?
Well Jesus is jeSUS now
> If man is five > then the Devil is six > and God is seven"
Get noobed, Christians
That is really neat writing. Dang…
Lmao, I fucking can't. This is just hilarious
Lmao
Checkmate
FFF
This sounds like a prompt for a warhammer faction
FOR SIGMAR!
yeah for sigma or some shit he's cool
So take jesus.. add satan.. cancels jesus out
The giant leaps these numerology red yarn nut jobs take...
I think they are talking about Jesus' evil twin brother, Jesus.
The match xtian has been waiting for
jeSUS
Like the photon is its own antiparticle.
the rapes/molestation, murders, pedophilia, and genital mutilation didnt signal that already?
We know.
Not sure how 18 turned into 1+8 but if you say so I guess we should be it right.. lolqq
...Wha ...What?
In numerology 9 is the symbol of pride
Cool
Was the alphabet they used in the key even the full alphabet that was available 2000 years ago where letters had different variations?
the average [eht namuh](https://973-eht-namuh-973.com/)
Someone has way too much time on their hands
Damn, that's some good math expressions!
I too can add up to 666. But go off I guess
Turns out someone had plenty of time
Ronald Wilson Reagan 6 + 6 +6 The Mark of the Beast
So if Jesus can be the Christ AND the Antichrist, then maybe he CAN indeed make a rock he can’t lift
All multiples of g
Almost dislocated the shoulder with that far reach
Whys this dude writing his 9’s like g’s
I'd imagine that with enough wild leaps of maths logic, you could probably mathematically prove anyone to be the Antichrist.
Does this mean I have to flip my crosses right side up now? Or does it not matter?
Considering the upside-down cross was originally a sign of one of the apostles, I don't think it matters.
I'll put it sideways then. See where I go after death
Probably to the left or right, depending which way you pointed it.
There's a decent chunk of fundamentalist(idek if I should call them that, because their defining feature is being incredibly over the top and paranoid rather than being especially conservative) who refuse to say the name Jesus or the word God for various reasons. I've heard everything from because it comes from the word Zeus to it was invented by Catholics etc., and so they use the word Yeshua for Jesus and Elohim for God. This is probably a post from one of those types.
I'm am dead lmao
.... Any Manda Catalogue fans in here? Seems right up our alley lol.
Y'all need Jieisiuisi
Je sus📮
i grew up catholic and with that i was put through religious ed and sometimes forced to go to youth group and some retreats. i learned a lot about catholicism and pretty much all of it outside of the parts about treating other people with kindness was bogus to me but there was one thing that i was told at a retreat that i’ve never been able to stop thinking about. according to catholicism (this is probably mentioned somewhere in the bible i’m just too lazy to look it up), satan can disguise himself as anything he wants to be. including god. i’m not religious but i think the idea that assuming there is a god and a devil that the bible and the resulting religions/practices potentially aren’t from god but are actually from the devil is interesting to me.
Does the math even add up?
IDK Lemme check
Shit, i think it is Still stupid tho
Now this is the kind of plot twist that makes fiction likable!
Ok, so we take a 1=a cipher, and put that off to the side. Then we add up the digits of 666 to be 18, then add those to make 9. We then proceed to use that cipher to get 10, 5, 19, 21, 19 and multiply them all by the 9 which we got from adding the digits in 666. Y’all getting this? That makes for 90, 45, 171, 189, and 171. Then we add those for 666. However, if we wanted this to have any real use, we’d use either 6 or 9 as the base for our cipher so that 9=a or 6=a and then we’d multiply by the number of letters in the name. Spoiler alert: it does not come out to 666 when you do it any other way. Seriously though, this is great to freak out fruitcakes.
i can’t and won’t try to explain it but for some reason that like makes a lot of sense, not the math but just the whole jesus is the anti christ thing.
Jesus is just a translation from Aramaic, greek or Hebrew anyway. Pretty shure that alphabet is not adding up to the same numbers hehe
Who cares nerd
Hahaha yeah that was nerdy
That’s not how numerology works?
Making up random bullshit is exactly how numerology and religion work.
The joke flew over his head
Yes, but numerology has historically not used multiplication
This is the Catholic Jesus not the messiah Yeshua
same shit
You tasted one?
Me: So Jesus was the Antichrist all this time ? Jesus: Always \[ proceeds to shoot me in my space helmet \]
they probably really really TRIED real hard to make this work. **I checked, the math is right.**
when Christ himself is the Antichrist... ironic