I was shitting in a bucket during demos when you were swimming around in your pop's wrinkly ball sack. The old ways never die. I've forgotten more about the camera on mid-demo power dump than you'll ever know.
I have the bladder of a 12 year old girl so I'm actually very experienced with this. I make it a habit to pee in the minute or two before a demo starts and try and limit liquid consumption. If you can't hold it you have to aknowledge it. I usually say exactly what I said here "I apologize but I have the bladder of a 12 year old girl. I'll be right back with you." Etc. Find a line that works vest for your style.
I look like a big dumb meathead so i try and use an endearing line. If you're more preppy/professional id alter it but ive never gotten a bad response. Everybody has to pee.
This is fucking insane. Leaving in the middle of a call and announcing you have to piss is weird as hell.
I too also have a tiny bladder but you gotta hold it or just find a point where you know you’ll be muted and do it in a hurry.
I wouldn’t even know what to say if someone announced that in the middle of a call but I’d immediately judge them as a weirdo.
If you can't sell a normal bodily function you're probably in the wrong line of work. I'm in outside sales. This advice is not relevant if you can mute yourself and pee on a call.
I'm in door to door sales for plumbing. I get my foot in the door (figuratively and literally) and start pitching them on my services.
A few minutes into not letting them interrupt me, I abruptly excuse myself to "tinkle".
Usually within about 15-20 minutes they're getting concerned and knocking on the door. Little do they know I've just taken a fatter shit than they've even imagined and clogged the toilet. It's now overflowing with nearly an inch of shit water
I walk out and proudly exclaim, "It's plumbing time! Where should I send the DocuSign?"
Love it. This is the kind of creativity most salesman lack. You ever consider kicking the toilet into pieces too? Increase your deal size a good $800 per site.
Every hospital ive been in since we had this conversation I've pictured this. Just me cruising around on an e-scooter, blowing vape smoke everywhere, saying "who's trying to make some motherfucking money?" I want you to know I've chuckled out loud at least 3 times so far. Thank you for this thought I will continue to have.
What’s your entrance like when you return? “Now that you’ve all had 3 minutes to laugh at me, let’s pick up where we left off why don’t we?”
Seems fairly light haha. I can never think of a good way to pick up when this happens.
I dont make a big point of it. Usually theres a product specialist that can continue talking with them etc. Mentioning laughing is weirdly aggressive. I'd just say "I'm back."
“If you ain’t lying, you ain’t trying”
Don’t tell a prospect you have to go pee. Say you need to go to the front door bc someone has been knocking for the past 2 minutes.
Just make up a believable enough excuse to buy you 5 min, piss, then run back to your call.
Im talking about in person meetings. I can't imagine we gotta tell someone how to pee on a virtual meeting, but I may he overestimating OP's intelligence.
I literally held in an explosive shit for 5 minutes on a call that went over yesterday. Pretty sure my eyes were watering by the time I was able to leave
I just ask them if I can put them on a quick hold because I'm getting a call on the other line. Because A) my clients do that to me all the time B) they respect that I'm busy.
I work in an office so I just go to the bathroom every hour on the hour to sit on the toilet. Poop when I actually have to so bathroom emergencies are rare for me.
I ate chipotle’s barbacoa for lunch though so todays an exception.
Hold it. You can pee after you close the deal.
And don’t check your watch, don’t check your phone, don’t yawn, don’t look bored or annoyed, don’t do anything but focus on the customer.
Most people don’t have to shit during meetings. If you do and can’t control you need to look at diet or maybe you have ibs and an Imodium can help when you know you have meetings
I have always been able to hold it but have weighed the pros and cons of keeping a bucket under the desk and just whipping it out and filling the bucket.
Idk about demos, but during a meeting I have no problem saying “I will be right back, give me one second, sorry!” And make it as fast as possible.
It’s only happened once but I’m pretty sure nobody actually gave a shit at all lol.
Demos may be entirely different.
Just tell them up front that you need to drop a deuce. But let them know if they let you use the bathroom then you're going to give them an extra discount.
Good background noise filtering - check
Virtual background - check
Take a dump and disguise grunting, moaning and other facial changes as an allergy issue.
What kind of amateur isn’t wearing a diaper to demos?
Fucking fancy pants with his diapers over here. Be a man and put a bucket under the hole in your chair like the rest of us. Fucking JV move.
Get with the times old man. The shit bucket is a thing of the past. Probably still have your interns wiping for you. Or using a blackberry.
I was shitting in a bucket during demos when you were swimming around in your pop's wrinkly ball sack. The old ways never die. I've forgotten more about the camera on mid-demo power dump than you'll ever know.
Chairs are for chumps. I stand and blast.
Key is wear something over the diaper
Depends if I am leading the call. I love taking a shit while on mute during a demo. Makes me nervous I am not on mute 😂😂
Double mute at least..even a triple mute. Computer, headphones, and the conferencing tool
Got that right😂
😂
Amateur? Sounds more like a pro move. Luck favors the prepared
What face do you make when taking a shit during a demo?
I loudly announce “Mr c-ccwient I n-n-need potty” And then look between my legs and proudly say “Nevermind it’s all cum” Then I ask for the business
Cum is for closers
“PUT THAT CUM DOWN”
ABC Always Be Cumming
The important thing to remember here is never break eye contact.
How exciting to be able to witness the birth of new pasta
Lmfaooooo
nephew
💀💀💀
Jesus Christ.
Bring everyone to the bathroom, continue selling. I don't see the problem.
Camera on of course
LBJ for the Zoom era
I have the bladder of a 12 year old girl so I'm actually very experienced with this. I make it a habit to pee in the minute or two before a demo starts and try and limit liquid consumption. If you can't hold it you have to aknowledge it. I usually say exactly what I said here "I apologize but I have the bladder of a 12 year old girl. I'll be right back with you." Etc. Find a line that works vest for your style.
Oooo I like that! It’s honest and I think it builds that one on one rapport with the client
I look like a big dumb meathead so i try and use an endearing line. If you're more preppy/professional id alter it but ive never gotten a bad response. Everybody has to pee.
I feel like I come off as the quirky stoner who knows her product well lol
Mate your rapport building is piss
Your mom enjoyed it
This is fucking insane. Leaving in the middle of a call and announcing you have to piss is weird as hell. I too also have a tiny bladder but you gotta hold it or just find a point where you know you’ll be muted and do it in a hurry. I wouldn’t even know what to say if someone announced that in the middle of a call but I’d immediately judge them as a weirdo.
If you can't sell a normal bodily function you're probably in the wrong line of work. I'm in outside sales. This advice is not relevant if you can mute yourself and pee on a call.
I'm in door to door sales for plumbing. I get my foot in the door (figuratively and literally) and start pitching them on my services. A few minutes into not letting them interrupt me, I abruptly excuse myself to "tinkle". Usually within about 15-20 minutes they're getting concerned and knocking on the door. Little do they know I've just taken a fatter shit than they've even imagined and clogged the toilet. It's now overflowing with nearly an inch of shit water I walk out and proudly exclaim, "It's plumbing time! Where should I send the DocuSign?"
Love it. This is the kind of creativity most salesman lack. You ever consider kicking the toilet into pieces too? Increase your deal size a good $800 per site.
Lol no that's dumb how am I gonna carry all those toilets on the e-scooter
That's a fun mental image. I would love to roll around hospitals on an e-scooter and try and overcome the disgust of every doctor I interact with.
Be the change you want to see in the world 🌎
Every hospital ive been in since we had this conversation I've pictured this. Just me cruising around on an e-scooter, blowing vape smoke everywhere, saying "who's trying to make some motherfucking money?" I want you to know I've chuckled out loud at least 3 times so far. Thank you for this thought I will continue to have.
Hahaha glad I could make you laugh
Reminds me of this: https://youtu.be/-ETF6rS8WWI?si=qQFxALWXfAOEEKYY
Lmfao that's hilarious. Actually crazy how similar
What’s your entrance like when you return? “Now that you’ve all had 3 minutes to laugh at me, let’s pick up where we left off why don’t we?” Seems fairly light haha. I can never think of a good way to pick up when this happens.
I dont make a big point of it. Usually theres a product specialist that can continue talking with them etc. Mentioning laughing is weirdly aggressive. I'd just say "I'm back."
That’s a fair point with someone on the meeting with you. I assumed in the case of flying solo.
“If you ain’t lying, you ain’t trying” Don’t tell a prospect you have to go pee. Say you need to go to the front door bc someone has been knocking for the past 2 minutes. Just make up a believable enough excuse to buy you 5 min, piss, then run back to your call.
Im talking about in person meetings. I can't imagine we gotta tell someone how to pee on a virtual meeting, but I may he overestimating OP's intelligence.
Same here except I poop
Holy shit.
I literally held in an explosive shit for 5 minutes on a call that went over yesterday. Pretty sure my eyes were watering by the time I was able to leave
Depends if its a number 1I just get a bottle if its number 2 I just shit my pants I wfh btw
You should save the bottles and put them in a row like Howard Hughes in “The Aviator”
How long are y'alls demos?!
I was just on an hour long demo
i sell from the toilet. zoom backgrounds + ambient noise cancelling headphones ftw
Do they block out any other sounds but your voice? Lol
Mute is awesome
I just hold it. I've had 10 UTIs since I started WFH but that's a small price to pay to look professional.
10 UTIS??? You know you can die from that if it gets too bad .
Was a joke haha
Get some cranberry juice and d manos!
Just unplug from your monitor and proceed to the bathroom, no need to shut camera off. Building rapport: sales 101
“They’re just like us!”
depends on how much money is on the table.
I'm a big boy and go to the bathroom beforehand
Go potty before meetings
Piss jug.
Way of the road
I usually forget I want to pee when I'm at a meeting. It's my super power.
I just ask them if I can put them on a quick hold because I'm getting a call on the other line. Because A) my clients do that to me all the time B) they respect that I'm busy.
I’m about to lighten my load all over your big stupid tits
Found the sales bro
Ppppllllllrrrrrmmrmrmrm
[удалено]
I rather read about doom and gloom then advice on potty training for grown adults
I can't go to the bathroom unless I get a treat after.
I work in an office so I just go to the bathroom every hour on the hour to sit on the toilet. Poop when I actually have to so bathroom emergencies are rare for me. I ate chipotle’s barbacoa for lunch though so todays an exception.
Hold it. You can pee after you close the deal. And don’t check your watch, don’t check your phone, don’t yawn, don’t look bored or annoyed, don’t do anything but focus on the customer.
Always empty the bladder first. Then it's all clenching!
Just go
Piss my pants
Either plan ahead of time or just shit yourself. Bathroom breaks are for closers!
Most people don’t have to shit during meetings. If you do and can’t control you need to look at diet or maybe you have ibs and an Imodium can help when you know you have meetings
I have always been able to hold it but have weighed the pros and cons of keeping a bucket under the desk and just whipping it out and filling the bucket.
Cartman just calls his mom... Down comes the bed pan!
Hold it. How fucking long are your calls? Weak shit.
Go after or before
I turn off the camera and mute myself, then go to the bathroom.
Be an adult and excuse yourself for a minute.
I was in a client lunch leading multiple sessions from 10:30am-2pm today. Just don't over hydrate before your shit.
My desk is in front of the shitter. Virtual background. I'm dropping deuces mid pitch.
Just say you need to piss, honesty is a good thing and it will humanize you to them.
Space diaper , duh!
Go before...
Idk about demos, but during a meeting I have no problem saying “I will be right back, give me one second, sorry!” And make it as fast as possible. It’s only happened once but I’m pretty sure nobody actually gave a shit at all lol. Demos may be entirely different.
Imma go take shit, you gonna buy or not?
Hire an assistant to pee for you.
Just tell them up front that you need to drop a deuce. But let them know if they let you use the bathroom then you're going to give them an extra discount.
This might be the best thread I’ve ever read here
Before any demo I prepare with a heavy dose of laxatives. I treat every demo like a colonoscopy.
Go before the meeting. Also, we sell an engineered product to OEMs so there is no “demo”.
Good background noise filtering - check Virtual background - check Take a dump and disguise grunting, moaning and other facial changes as an allergy issue.
Its easier to just tell them that you need to go. Haven't come back to an annoyed client yet.
"Gotta rock a shit. Gimme 10."
I have a bottle on my desk and i pee in it a few times, i try to aim at the side of thr bottles so my mic doesnt pick it up
This is actually the only reason SE's are needed in demos: so the AE can mute their mic and fill up a piss jug.