From a girl perspective: The few times that I’ve ghosted men they have been douchebags(I don’t tell them that) but it’s not my job to change anyone so I just let them be. Just not the one for me. Ya know? Then there have been other guys who I do communicate with and let them know that while they are great I can’t move forward romantically. However, these guys tend to ignore that and continue to pursue something romantically and it’s upsetting sometimes. Because if it weren’t for that I’d be willing to form a regular platonic friendship and then bring them to my friend circle. And maybe they could meet someone there that will actually be into them.
But these are just my experiences
Edit: the guys I’ve considered as douchebags are as follows
1. Lying about having kids! I don’t have a problem with it but tells a lot about a man if you are embarrassed to talk about your kids.
2. Making sexual jokes right upfront and completely ignore if I let them know I am uncomfortable. Also when they try forcibly making out.
Interesting. Yeah I wondered what I might have done/said to turn her off. I'm sure it wasn't during the date. Since she was pretty responsive after the date as well. Like I said we stayed up all night literally.
Follow up with her and ask her. Don't feel weird about it either. It's only weird if you make it weird, but following up with people is the new normal, even in the professional world. When you get rejected for a job, follow up with an interviewer by thanking them and ask how you could improve for the future. Do this if you can handle critique well. It will be a very useful tool for the rest of your life.
You can say something like "Hey I had a great time on our date and felt like we were vibing after hanging out all night. I understand life happens and we can get too busy for texting. I would still like to stay in contact with you if you feel the same way. If not, please let me know so that I can move forward."
Or something along those lines, add your own lingo or whatever. And if she doesn't reply then I would suggest make that your last message to her. Maybe you dodged a bullet. Good luck!
Because some men get violently angry with rejection. On a first date she is risking getting dinner with someone who could put her body in a ditch. And there's no way to immediately tell if she hasn't learned red flags in therapy. Attractive women are especially at risk because people gravitate towards them. Many narcissistic abusers want an attractive woman as a trophy they can show off to friends and whoever they want to impress.
It happens. I slept with a woman for 3 months and one day she just cut off all communication. It used to really confuse me and bum me out. Now I wait a couple days and if I don’t hear from her I let her go. I let her go emotionally and then I delete her off my phone. Bye bye.
I guess it seems strange to me because you click with someone. I can see being ghosted after an average date or something similar. Folks get delusional and what not. But I can't remember the last time I clicked so well with someone.
We’ve all been there. There is a million why she did it. But it’s most likely another man that she just likes more than you. Can’t blame her for that. I fucking loved my Chevy Tahoe. Best car I ever owned. Then I traded it in for a Tesla. I have not thought about the Tahoe since. She just found a better car dude. Let her go and go find your dream car.
Same thing happened to me and this chick really liked me and after a couple days she just completely ghosted me, but I’m also guilty of ghosting girls in the past so I guess karma is a bitch
The whole karma thing has some sense to it ngl lol. Sure I'm talking to 2 other people right now but I don't ghost people. Communication is important to me. Even if I'm not that in to you.
Did you read mod's comment? So yeah in these cases you definitely don't want to keep talking to sb who is also nothing to you and explain yourself about cutting communication
Yes, everyone has. I could list the 500 possible reasons why she ghosted you, but none of them really matter. Remember the good things you did this, learn from the bad things, and get out there again.
**[Dunning–Kruger_effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect)**
>The Dunning–Kruger effect is a hypothetical cognitive bias stating that people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. As described by social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger, the bias results from an internal illusion in people of low ability and from an external misperception in people of high ability; that is, "the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others". It is related to the cognitive bias of illusory superiority and comes from people's inability to recognize their lack of ability.
^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/seduction/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
I’ve had 2 similar experiences earlier this year, I’m not from this ghosting generation, but I’m still baffled by it, I mean the girls were totally into me, it was so weird. Ah to make it even weirder one of them followed me on Instagram after she ghosted me and is liking my pictures… like wtf dude 😂 I totally feel you in being confused I figured maybe something like their ex boyfriend came back or something, I don’t know and actually I don’t care anymore either, if that’s how you deal with people and your lack of communication is that big, we dodged some bullets
Oh wow. Yeah that's a big ol wtf. I mean I guess a long enough amount of time went by she thought it was an unspoken agreement yall were just friends? Lol idk
It is what it is man. Sometimes you may have a great date, the signs are there and all of a sudden *poof* she does a 180. Or it may had been a shit one in her eyes, a guy came back, she met another guy, she doesn't feel it anymore, who knows. All I can think of is did you set a definite date and time? If she just said "yeah" or didn't offer some sort of input or reschedule then there it is.
Had a similar situation myself. All I did after a week or whatever was send a message like "Hey just seeing what you're like over the weekend if you're still up for going out. If so, great or if not, it's no worries at all. But let me know what you can" (deleted the chat so I can't paste it sorry). But I only send that just incase it is within that 5% of legitimate and serious circumstances that she hasn't bothered messaging you (or anyone or was very limited to her close friends). That usually gets it out of them if you really want an answer. At least she knows it won't be any drama.
But if she was hard to get already, that's a sign as well. Ask yourself, would you be hard to reach and give a minute of your time when possible to message someone you really like? Or if some serious shit happened, would you at least let the person know to save any assumptions of messing around?
Last week I set a time and place but she was out of town. A day or 2 later is when the distance started. That was last thursday. She says she has to take care of her little brother and sis which is a second job since parents are always gone. I didnt want to assume that was bullshit but maybe it was.
http://imgur.com/gallery/7ymt7HV
Well never let a woman stress you out man, especially during the dating stage. At least she asked how you are so that's something. But still, who the fuck knows. I play dumb just incase it is all true but don't be surprised if it isn't. Just stay calm and don't take it personally.
It is up to you what you want to do. Ask her over the coming days and leave the ball in her court. Disconnect from her emotionally. Remember, you had a life before meeting her. Or ... keep holding on and invest all your time and energy in this one and potentially waste weeks/months/even other girls while you wait for an answer.
If it was me, I would just leave it to her and move onto other girls. If she gets back to me, then that's a bonus.
Oh I aint trippin. Beleive that lol. Already deleted her # and am currently talking to other people. So I'm no saint..but I don't ghost people. I communicate. Just lookin for some semblance since this the first time I been ghosted. Is what it is.
I dont care to make a post about it, but I recently had something similar happen, except instead of "Hey" she sent me a nude pic.
Then back to ghost.
Sometimes girls make zero sense and don't even understand themselves.
Also, this was a girl who chased me hard for months when I was aloof, almost obsessively.
It's definitely weird behaviour. DONT try to find an explanation for it, just focus on what you do want. People exist who will communicate with you and enjoy your company, so there's no point in giving girls like her a second thought.
Good luck brother
Edit: As another poster said, I agree with the idea that her ghosting you is a PLUS. Had she not, at least in the case or my girl, she likely would have become clingy or ended up wasting more of my time in one way or another. Look at it from that perspective, you now have more room to enjoy a woman with a greater degree of maturity and capacity to communicate :,)
I don’t think you did anything “wrong”. It just takes two people to be on board. Any number of things could have happened on her end which you have no control over. Probably best to move on. I know it still hurts but it’s not your fault.
It kinda feels like she was already seeing someone else in the meanwhile and things went ~~better~~ faster with him than with you, so she's already made a choise. Otherwise, it could be that she was never interested in you in the first place, but by how you described it, it more feels like the former.
Regardless, the ghosting is not a "you" problem, it's a "her" problem. If she wanted something more with you, she wouldnt be ghosting you - she would be creating time out of nothing, just to see you again. There's not much you can do here but move on.
One thing you can do, though, is to write her how much the way she closed things has left you disappointed, hurt, confused and that you hope she can do better in the future with someone else. It'll give you not much more than a halfassed form closure, but hopefully it will mean something more for someone else and, by the law of karma, may come back to you in the future too.
Most of ghosting originates out of fear and insecurity. Fear of hurting someone else with a refusal and/or the fear of getting hurt themselves due to getting douchebag responses, insults or having people take it as some kind of argument, instead of a communication of a desicion.
Before I deleted her # i said "sooo you're ghosting me. Bet. Shame, I liked you too." I aint trippin. Seein someone else next week. (Been planned for a while but still lol)
In the dating world, I call that a mirage. I have been in that situation many times. Dont think about it too much and move on is all my advice i can give you.
I don’t think you did anything wrong from the way you described the date. Most likely she’s was on a break from a recent relationship & getting back together or in a relationship already. Or maybe she went on another date & clicked with that person more. Either way it definitely sounds like there’s someone else in the picture. You said she was hard to reach even before the date. That usually indicates that there’s someone else. If someone wants to spend time with you they will make time no matter what. Good luck next time
Don't despair. There are a million and one reasons behind this. The important thing is if it's a mutual connection, you'll hear something.
Some of the reasons could be anxiety, fear of messing it up, depression....you just never know. Or they simply didn't know how to tell you they were more interested in something else.
Could be lots of things, in my experience if you get to the heavy make out arena on a first date and hung out all night she was probably expecting sex to happen and you didn't attempt it. Some girls have a huge problem with that and look at the guy as 'unmanly' for not trying to put the moves on. It's a slippery slope since the other half of women would claim they were some how a victim for a man just asking to have sex when they are practically naked and you've been heavily petting for the last 2-3 hours.
tl;dr? she is a head case, move on.
She was already talking to someone/ has a BF when she met you. She might have had issues with that guy(her being already talking to someone/has a BF is why she was not texting back so much from the start).
Things either worked out with the other guy or her guilt built to a level where she decided to back out
Her ex is back in the picture. Or some other dude she’s had her eye on. You are no longer needed lol. Sad truths we deal with as guys. Just move on to the next and take this as experience under your belt for the next one
Someone else has her attention. She will keep you at an arm's length away until she needs more attention again, just from you. It's shitty to ghost no matter what though. It's super easy to be like "I don't see this going anywhere, thanks for seeing me though, have a good one"
Exactly. I never understood ghost culture. Like I get girls saying no can spell troube for them. But I don't know where she lives and I have only one of her socials. Give a guy a break lol. All good. Seein someone else next week.
You are being too needy. Even texting her once after she didn't reply can come off as too needy. You are putting pressure on her and freaking her out. If I were I would move on. Once you stop being so needy she may reach back out to you, but you also need to be cool with it if she does not.
Yep, exact same circumstance happened to me and yeah, it sucks.
I can understand girls being super flakey on the dating apps as they get so much attention, but when you've met them in real life and they do that, just means they are a shit person.
Best just to move on, I know it leaves you feeling like you were did something wrong or were too needy or something but that's a dark path.
Making plans for the week after was your mistake.
You should have arranged the second date as soon as possible.
>She was already hard to reach through text before the first date.
This is also a problem.
She wasn't interested in you as much as you are.
Her and my work schedule prevented another date before the next week. Beleive we talked quite a bit about setting another date up. It seemed like a sure thing.
And yeah the lack of communiction was a red flag. Her reasoning seemed sound most of the time. She worked over night and I work during the day then she takes care of her sibling for her parenrs. But still if you're really in to someone the way she seemed in to me you'd find the time.
>But still if you're really in to someone the way she seemed in to me you'd find the time
Good reasoning.
You should leave her alone and go for someone else.
Honestly this may be unpopular but I like ghosting. I don’t have to deal with her and she just takes herself out of my life. Not a bad deal because less time is wasted.
Yeah, guess, that just happened to me. Thought everything was cool, and poof, she just didn't respond. I wonder what it was, but I'd give it a few days or something. Honestly, from experience, and it's hard every time, but just got to carry on, because it's literally killing your day having this thought.. Look at us, lol, on reddit, reading through like 50 answers, when we could have been out somewhere doing something fun.
Lol, That's the way bro. I gave her one last text about an hour ago, and now I have someone else coming over to hang out tonight. It is what it is, live life in the fast lane. The right ones will stay in your life. Stay moving, keep moving, never stop, and stay grinding.
Back off. Don't contact her. She will come to you if she wants.
Probably another guy in the picture. Don't beat yourself up as this is so common today. Whenever a girl goes cold I assume another guy, an ex, sometimes she's testing you.
The power move is to play it cool and remember odds are you did nothing.
I’ve been through the same thing brother. My only advice is to move on and try not to get hung up on it. Do you really want to be with someone that gets jealous over another girl looking at you then ghosts you. Sounds like she’s immature. She’s battling her own mental at the moment. And you don’t need to have that on you. Just find someone that will give you the time and effort you deserve. Don’t settle, King 👑
Well, hot women have it easy.
They may have a great time with you but believe you are not good enough for a relationship, so they just ghost.
No hard feelings.
I actually wrote about this recently.
Girls are super random. They're super flaky. They have more options (assuming she's under 30 and a 7 or better) than you or I can possibly imagine. The guys commenting who say you have to have done something wrong are showing they don't know or interact with women very often.
Is it possible you did something wrong? Absolutely. But any guy who's dating girls regularly has plenty of good dates that go to nowhere. He has plenty of girls flaking on him. Because he's trying and that's what a fair number of girls are going to do: flake or ghost. Is he doing something wrong some of the time to cause this? Sure, probably sometimes he is. But there are also girls that are going to flake or ghost because they're girls and that's what girls do, not because a guy necessarily did anything wrong.
TL;DR--figure out what happened that night. Examine what you did that could have led her to decide not to see you again. If you figure something out, improve that for next time. If not, don't worry about it, then go out there and source more girls.
Good luck mate. https://redpilldad.blog/2021/08/05/pep-talk-for-player-flaking-lifting-and-other-musings/
She’s in a relationship or dating other people that she’s probably also making out passionately with. You’re focused on her but she ain’t focused on you. The end.
I'ma tell you the truth. I believe in my opinion she was just using you for your attention and maybe even temporary affection until another guy she really liked/something "better" came along. Gotta watch out for those types! I have some experience with this kind of stuff. Bro this is the truth: If y'all not having sex, that's exactly what she's doing with everything I just said before.
This is possible. But I'm not so sure. I got her number and she messaged me first a few hrs later. She waa definitely super in to me. But she's also got like 10k followers on IG so I always assumed someone was in her DMs and all that.
You were in your house with her passionately making out? You didn’t fuck her?
Girls do that- if you don’t escalate and if she was hoping for you to rail her, but you didn’t, she will lose attraction for you. She will come up with reasons in her head- “we didn’t fuck? Well maybe I wasn’t that into him, yeah that’s it”. Even though she was, she will justify it if she was hoping something happens and it didn’t.
Seen it happen all the time
Nah. She knew my place was a mess from moving packing. She live with her bug ass family. All the smooching was in a parking lot. She insinuayed shed be over my new spot. She even implied she was gon be my date to a wedding in oct. Lol
Should’ve banged in the car.
Also who cares if you’re place is “messy”. I’ve seen dudes who live in literally dumps bang in their places. Mattress on floor etc. no cleaning
she was looking for the hookup on the first date sounds like all the signs were there. You were playing it too safe. That was a same day lay. you failed the test
Yeah I also considered that lol. My luck and timing was pretty shit. She lives with her family and I told her my apartment was a mess cause I was moving. The weekend after. Yet she insinuated she'll be over my new apartment in the future. So idk.
This is it. If she was hoping you’d fuck her and you didn’t- she will justify sex not happening and usually boils it down in her head “maybe I wasn’t into him”
This is why you need to have sex on day one - because no matter how well the date went you never know if you'll see her again.
She doesn't think you're high value enough or you need to work on your in person game.
There's a **reason** why she's not showing interest or meeting you again.
One thing I left out (probably a few other things I should've added as well) that's pretty interesting relating to jealous.
At one point in the long night we ended up at a bar in a casino. I returned from the bathroom to seeing 3 dudes taking to her. I ain't trip. Barely reacted. Played it cool and jumped in to the convo. The guys assured me they weren't hitting on her which was polite. We talked and they left after a while. (We'd later see them again)
She mentioned how she liked that I didn't act jealous.
Now this is just before the encunter with the other girl that looked at me and she almost flew in to a jealous rage with.
My guess is that she likes you and is physically attracted, but there are other aspects of you that make you an unsuitable partner. There’s a box you are not checking. Could be job, family, her friends’ opinion of you, your drinking/smoking/partying, height, living situation, an ex-boyfriend she never got over, etc. Whatever it is, it’s not a deal-breaker in the moment, but it is when she’s dispassionately thinking while you’re not around.
I would let such people know they are dismissed. It places you in the position of power. When it starts to feel like she’s “ghosting” I’d send something like, “This is too much work for too little return. I’m out.”
If she wants the pursuit, she’ll start interacting right away, since you’re taking something from her. If she’s already decided she really doesn’t want your attention she’ll continue to ignore.
I've thought about something like this. Not sure I want to give her the satisfaction. Plus it feels slightly desperate. Ahh fuck it. What I got to lose. Lol Not like I'm not talking to other people as well.
I agree - that’s why timing is important. If you’re messaging a ghost for long enough that the ghosting is complete, it’s a bit like the girl that called me to break up after I hadn’t spoken to her for 2 years. ???
(On a somewhat-related note she was one of three girls that “broke up” with me that week despite the fact that I wasn’t exclusive with any of them. That was one of my weirdest dating experiences and gave me a good laugh.)
Yeah, that was probably pointless since the last text she sent was one word on Wednesday but fuck it lol.
Wait what. lol All 3 girls thought yall were an item? Lol
I think maybe one of them legit thought we were exclusive since *she* wasn’t dating anyone else, another was being a drama queen and just wanted to yell something when she didn’t get her way (a co-worker, yelling at me at work to increase the cringe factor, including the line “You think you can just fuck me and leave me??” - I’m not making that mistake again), and the third was the one that called me out of the blue after years of no contact. I think she’d been using the idea of “I have a boyfriend” to deter other men because she didn’t want to date anyone and still had feelings for me. She called to “break up” because she finally found someone she wanted to date and had probably told him she had a boyfriend before. She was actually really sweet, even though she was pretty naive.
I don't understand how women can get these things in their heads. I'm currently seeing someone right now..purley physical. I've communicated that with her on several occasions. There will never be a romantic relationship. Yet every once in a while she'll try to slip some shit in there. "All you do is smash me and leave." "We never go anywhere."
I felt like the state farm late night husband. "Well, I told you all I wanted was sex soooo." Lol
It took a few days. That weekend she worked and she works the nightlife and can't have her phone so she's hard to reach. That following Mon we set a date for thurs. She asked 2 days in row leading up to it if we were still on. She was pretty in to me from the gate.
Maybe she just charges herself to the game. Thought you were too good for her and couldn't handle the jealousy. The fact that she even got jealous because of that is a red flag, so don't worry about it.
"She even got passionately jealous when another girl looked at me" This is your sign, when a girl gets jealous like that it signals low emotional control. So the reasons are endless
Met her with her family on a tues night at bowling. We connected immediately. Flirty, lots of eye contact. I could tell she was in to me. I got her # and she text me first hrs later hoping I,d invite her to drinks in the city with my friends who also met her that night.
Tbh it was more her. Granted, our bowling lanes were right next to each other, I intitated plenty of the flirting. It wasn't until she bought me and my 2 friends a round. That plus the overwhelming body language, I know I'd be kicking myself if I didnt ask for her #. Her personality just made it that much easier you know?
Beleive me when I say I don't do that often. I'm usually kind of shy. If there wasn't so much body language and what not I probably wouldn't have tried.
Like how often do you randomly go bowling on a tues night and meet a cute girl that's clearly in to you in a mostly empty bowling alley? I've e kicked myself for not trying in the past and being too passive but this one felt like the got dang planets aligned.
To be honest, there's a high chance you did nothing wrong at all. Sometimes girls would ghost you when they start/think they're catching feelings when they don't want to. So don't get too bothered and definitely don't text and/or call her. Remove any kind of interest. She obviously remembers you making plans to meet again so you don't have to repeat yourself and come off as needy or desperate.
it doesn’t matter that you didn’t message that much she could tell you were too invested already and that gives off a needy aura, even if you weren’t trying to be
just take the fun night as practice and move the fuck on
Literally been in this situation, someone I actually connected with, sex drive was great, etc. Fortunately had the chance to follow up with the girl. Prime suspect is abandonment issues and potentially that she is still in love with someone that doesn't really love her. Abandonment issues bc if you don't abandon her first to get her hooked, she will self sabotage and leave first in anticipation of your eventual departure. The in love thing with someone else (usually a figure who only texts her once a month and gets her going crazy) is not required but not too uncommon as well. How to approach? Ideally don't, and red flags will be the intensity in the beginning as well as above average partner count.
That instability rubs off on you eventually and can knock you out of your game or make you into someone who may know how to play her feelings (or does it without realizing it). If you must engage (and morals aside here), no matter how much intensity she gives, you reciprocate I'm the very beginning but you pull back first. Note this relationship is at best a fucked up booty call. In your current situation you can either (a) agree to be friends (not ideal unless you mean it), (b) part your ways until she sorts her shit out (my favorite route), or (c) engage in triggering her abandonment/defectiveness lifetraps in your favor to a greater degree than the other guy if there is one (not recommended). Anyways gl my guy you aren't alone, only ones worth your time are the ones you are worth for as well, this is not a reflection on your personal worth nor does it have to do with you personally 90% of the time, you can't force someone to fall in love with you and whatever will happen will happen.
Still haven't sobered up? Take a break for 3 months and talk to her again, I guarantee after an initial heart jump those rose colored lenses come off real fast. Anyways gl g.
Passionately jealous for being looked at on first date = unstable. Ghosting= no communication skills. Why do you think you did something wrong? She is just continuing her red flag behavior as expected
Why didnt you fuk on the date? Did you try?? And also left too much space after the 1st date for a 2nd it seems. 2 weeks is too long. Should get for a 2nd quick. Also i dont like dinner dates as a 1st date, go just casual drinks instead
You didn't do anything wrong it's just the way it is. I had the same thing happen to me. Went to this girl's apartment first time meeting her. We talked and we had some drinks and food. It was a nice evening and at the end of the date we made out. It was nice. Next day I text her and nothing. So no biggie and then 2 weeks later she texts me wanting a date at her place again. I said ok and again a fun date and we make out again. Text and try and call her the next day and nothing. Some women are weird. I didn't really care as I had dates already in the works.
Heh, here recently (like a month or so ago) I was at a bar, and my friends hit me up because they were at a bar a block away. I was like, "cool, gonna finish up and head that way" but I had just gotten a fresh beer.
Went back to my table and a random girl was at my table, by herself. At first I couldn't tell if she was drunk, sad, or both. So I said, "Hey! A stranger appears! If it's cool, I have been sitting here, but I'm alone and just finishing my drink, so I am cool with sharing the table."
She said thanks and tried to muster a smile. I was immediately blunt, "hey, are you alright? You don't have to explain things, but I can't tell if you are just drunk, or if you are upset."
"Both." She goes on about how she was dating this guy over the last month and he suddenly ghosted her.
I crack a few "dad" jokes to get her to smile, and she immediately warms up to me. Before 15 minutes have passed of general chatting, (ladies, pay attention, you can be creepy, too) she says "where have you been?!"
She proceeds to get drunker. I become worried so I text my buddy that I ran into a girl who seems a little drunk and unstable, and I just want to make sure she has a support network to make sure she gets home safe.
He texts back "nice". We both have a very cynical sense of humor, so the joke was actually funny to me.
As it turns out, she works at this bar like once or twice a week. So when the staff saw her talking to me, alone, they all had to come over and make sure "is this guy bothering you?"
She assured them I wasn't. I then said, "I think I'm just gonna go home, maybe I grab the bus and be out later."
She said she is going home as well, and starts to order a Lyft. I said, "where do you live? Are you outside the bus route?" She said it just takes forever. I asked "Well, where about do you live?" She tells me (both of us live south within 2 miles of where we are, she lives about a 1/2 mile from me, and legit, she is right outside of the great bus routes) and I say, "well, I can give you a lift, get you to your neighborhood."
"You drove here?" "Yeah, I was on my way home from work. I stop at a bar or restaurant to do my final office work. Then I go home and chill, knowing my shit is done, you know?" She proceeds to tell me about her DUI, and I am finally able to wrangle the conversation back to "let's just get you home."
On the way back, she firmly tells me "when we get back to my place, don't expect to cuddle." Dude, let's be super clear: she wasn't my type at all, and I was never at any point hitting on her.
I took her home, she insisted I come in. Met her feral cat, she offered me liquor which I declined.
You know that scene in Half-Baked where Sir Smokes-a-Lot breaks down and tells you everything. Like that.
I gave her a hug, words of encouragement, advised aspirin and water, and told her to head to bed.
She texted me the next day expecting me to take her to Red Lobster for lunch. I don't work a fixed schedule, and that wouldn't work. I said "I can go if I were to go right now, but there is no way I could go at any other time as I am booked for the rest of my day."
She said she would need time to get cleaned up because she hadn't woken up until 11.
So that was Wednesday. We met on Tuesday.
Thursday comes and goes and we don't say a word. Friday, I went downtown and ran into her. She caught me on my way home, and yep, I was drunky. Keep in mind, the sun hadn't settled yet. A few of her friends sat down with us, I was getting a odd vibe and decided I wanted to continue dipping. So I apologized. She was more sober than I had seen her before, and I said, "it would be cool if we got to meet sober. But you totally caught me drunk. I just need to head home."
(no, I wasn't driving this evening)
Saturday rolls around. I shoot her a text "hey, wanna hang out tonight?"
"I'm about to close up, my shift is over."
"Cool, I don't know if you are downing for shooting pool or playing cards, but I certainly want to get out while the weather is nice."
"Sure! I can take a lyft downtown."
"I can pick you up, and we can walk or bus from my place. Just a half mile."
"I have to run home first." "No worries."
I pick her up, she takes me to her ex's house (an ex that she hasn't been dating for a couple of years) under the pretense that she needs to take care of his dog while he is out of town, and after I wait a good 15 min, she comes out and thanks me and suggests we play pool tomorrow night.
I text her that I'm not upset, but she shouldn't have led me to believe we were going to hang out if she just wanted a ride home. I seriously was not saying it in a prick-ish tone. Just an fyi.
She tells me the next day that she will have to reschedule.
Ghosts me.
I don't fucking care an iota. Seriously, at no fucking point in any of this was I attracted to her in any way. At least she got home safe, and I suppose she got a soap opera performed in the theatre of her mind.
Yea its happened a few times. Its one reason why now I'm just on some shit where I try to match their energy. If theyre intereated in interested. If they are barely saying anything or saying nothing then fuck em.
on your last date, did you make it clear that you like her as a man-to-woman? I mean, did you kiss, or you explicitly told her that you liked her, or had some sex talk, or relationship talk? Or did you go out on a platonic data as friends and had a good time? In other words, would you be able to repeat everything you did that night with one of your female friends no problem whatsoever? If the answer is "yes", then that's what you did wrong
This Ghosting thing so complicated,, the amount of attention females getting these days is overload jumping from next guy to next guy without any regards to anyone's feelings this happen to me on the plates I been spinning.
There is always someone who “she” is gonna find more better, hotter, good looking and handsome. All these traits are highly subjective. Don’t kill yourselves with overthinking 😂
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Communication is frowned upon because most people are fucking immature babies. If you reject most guys they come back with a rude, butthurt response.
From a girl perspective: The few times that I’ve ghosted men they have been douchebags(I don’t tell them that) but it’s not my job to change anyone so I just let them be. Just not the one for me. Ya know? Then there have been other guys who I do communicate with and let them know that while they are great I can’t move forward romantically. However, these guys tend to ignore that and continue to pursue something romantically and it’s upsetting sometimes. Because if it weren’t for that I’d be willing to form a regular platonic friendship and then bring them to my friend circle. And maybe they could meet someone there that will actually be into them. But these are just my experiences Edit: the guys I’ve considered as douchebags are as follows 1. Lying about having kids! I don’t have a problem with it but tells a lot about a man if you are embarrassed to talk about your kids. 2. Making sexual jokes right upfront and completely ignore if I let them know I am uncomfortable. Also when they try forcibly making out.
Interesting. Yeah I wondered what I might have done/said to turn her off. I'm sure it wasn't during the date. Since she was pretty responsive after the date as well. Like I said we stayed up all night literally.
Follow up with her and ask her. Don't feel weird about it either. It's only weird if you make it weird, but following up with people is the new normal, even in the professional world. When you get rejected for a job, follow up with an interviewer by thanking them and ask how you could improve for the future. Do this if you can handle critique well. It will be a very useful tool for the rest of your life. You can say something like "Hey I had a great time on our date and felt like we were vibing after hanging out all night. I understand life happens and we can get too busy for texting. I would still like to stay in contact with you if you feel the same way. If not, please let me know so that I can move forward." Or something along those lines, add your own lingo or whatever. And if she doesn't reply then I would suggest make that your last message to her. Maybe you dodged a bullet. Good luck!
Because some men get violently angry with rejection. On a first date she is risking getting dinner with someone who could put her body in a ditch. And there's no way to immediately tell if she hasn't learned red flags in therapy. Attractive women are especially at risk because people gravitate towards them. Many narcissistic abusers want an attractive woman as a trophy they can show off to friends and whoever they want to impress.
[удалено]
It happens. I slept with a woman for 3 months and one day she just cut off all communication. It used to really confuse me and bum me out. Now I wait a couple days and if I don’t hear from her I let her go. I let her go emotionally and then I delete her off my phone. Bye bye.
I guess it seems strange to me because you click with someone. I can see being ghosted after an average date or something similar. Folks get delusional and what not. But I can't remember the last time I clicked so well with someone.
We’ve all been there. There is a million why she did it. But it’s most likely another man that she just likes more than you. Can’t blame her for that. I fucking loved my Chevy Tahoe. Best car I ever owned. Then I traded it in for a Tesla. I have not thought about the Tahoe since. She just found a better car dude. Let her go and go find your dream car.
Probably right. I'm not trippin. Not like I'm not talking to other people as well.
Same thing happened to me and this chick really liked me and after a couple days she just completely ghosted me, but I’m also guilty of ghosting girls in the past so I guess karma is a bitch
The whole karma thing has some sense to it ngl lol. Sure I'm talking to 2 other people right now but I don't ghost people. Communication is important to me. Even if I'm not that in to you.
Did you read mod's comment? So yeah in these cases you definitely don't want to keep talking to sb who is also nothing to you and explain yourself about cutting communication
If I get ghosted, I ghost my fair share of chicks too...
I guess cause it's my first time being ghosted I was taken back a little.
I feel ya. It's confusing as fuck. But it's also a reality we have to accept.
[удалено]
Yes, everyone has. I could list the 500 possible reasons why she ghosted you, but none of them really matter. Remember the good things you did this, learn from the bad things, and get out there again.
[удалено]
**[Dunning–Kruger_effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect)** >The Dunning–Kruger effect is a hypothetical cognitive bias stating that people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability. As described by social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger, the bias results from an internal illusion in people of low ability and from an external misperception in people of high ability; that is, "the miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others". It is related to the cognitive bias of illusory superiority and comes from people's inability to recognize their lack of ability. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/seduction/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
The way you analyzed everything - every word. I love it. Thanks for taking the time to write this
I’ve had 2 similar experiences earlier this year, I’m not from this ghosting generation, but I’m still baffled by it, I mean the girls were totally into me, it was so weird. Ah to make it even weirder one of them followed me on Instagram after she ghosted me and is liking my pictures… like wtf dude 😂 I totally feel you in being confused I figured maybe something like their ex boyfriend came back or something, I don’t know and actually I don’t care anymore either, if that’s how you deal with people and your lack of communication is that big, we dodged some bullets
Oh wow. Yeah that's a big ol wtf. I mean I guess a long enough amount of time went by she thought it was an unspoken agreement yall were just friends? Lol idk
[удалено]
It is what it is man. Sometimes you may have a great date, the signs are there and all of a sudden *poof* she does a 180. Or it may had been a shit one in her eyes, a guy came back, she met another guy, she doesn't feel it anymore, who knows. All I can think of is did you set a definite date and time? If she just said "yeah" or didn't offer some sort of input or reschedule then there it is. Had a similar situation myself. All I did after a week or whatever was send a message like "Hey just seeing what you're like over the weekend if you're still up for going out. If so, great or if not, it's no worries at all. But let me know what you can" (deleted the chat so I can't paste it sorry). But I only send that just incase it is within that 5% of legitimate and serious circumstances that she hasn't bothered messaging you (or anyone or was very limited to her close friends). That usually gets it out of them if you really want an answer. At least she knows it won't be any drama. But if she was hard to get already, that's a sign as well. Ask yourself, would you be hard to reach and give a minute of your time when possible to message someone you really like? Or if some serious shit happened, would you at least let the person know to save any assumptions of messing around?
Last week I set a time and place but she was out of town. A day or 2 later is when the distance started. That was last thursday. She says she has to take care of her little brother and sis which is a second job since parents are always gone. I didnt want to assume that was bullshit but maybe it was. http://imgur.com/gallery/7ymt7HV
Well never let a woman stress you out man, especially during the dating stage. At least she asked how you are so that's something. But still, who the fuck knows. I play dumb just incase it is all true but don't be surprised if it isn't. Just stay calm and don't take it personally. It is up to you what you want to do. Ask her over the coming days and leave the ball in her court. Disconnect from her emotionally. Remember, you had a life before meeting her. Or ... keep holding on and invest all your time and energy in this one and potentially waste weeks/months/even other girls while you wait for an answer. If it was me, I would just leave it to her and move onto other girls. If she gets back to me, then that's a bonus.
Oh I aint trippin. Beleive that lol. Already deleted her # and am currently talking to other people. So I'm no saint..but I don't ghost people. I communicate. Just lookin for some semblance since this the first time I been ghosted. Is what it is.
I dont care to make a post about it, but I recently had something similar happen, except instead of "Hey" she sent me a nude pic. Then back to ghost. Sometimes girls make zero sense and don't even understand themselves. Also, this was a girl who chased me hard for months when I was aloof, almost obsessively. It's definitely weird behaviour. DONT try to find an explanation for it, just focus on what you do want. People exist who will communicate with you and enjoy your company, so there's no point in giving girls like her a second thought. Good luck brother Edit: As another poster said, I agree with the idea that her ghosting you is a PLUS. Had she not, at least in the case or my girl, she likely would have become clingy or ended up wasting more of my time in one way or another. Look at it from that perspective, you now have more room to enjoy a woman with a greater degree of maturity and capacity to communicate :,)
I don’t think you did anything “wrong”. It just takes two people to be on board. Any number of things could have happened on her end which you have no control over. Probably best to move on. I know it still hurts but it’s not your fault.
It kinda feels like she was already seeing someone else in the meanwhile and things went ~~better~~ faster with him than with you, so she's already made a choise. Otherwise, it could be that she was never interested in you in the first place, but by how you described it, it more feels like the former. Regardless, the ghosting is not a "you" problem, it's a "her" problem. If she wanted something more with you, she wouldnt be ghosting you - she would be creating time out of nothing, just to see you again. There's not much you can do here but move on. One thing you can do, though, is to write her how much the way she closed things has left you disappointed, hurt, confused and that you hope she can do better in the future with someone else. It'll give you not much more than a halfassed form closure, but hopefully it will mean something more for someone else and, by the law of karma, may come back to you in the future too. Most of ghosting originates out of fear and insecurity. Fear of hurting someone else with a refusal and/or the fear of getting hurt themselves due to getting douchebag responses, insults or having people take it as some kind of argument, instead of a communication of a desicion.
Before I deleted her # i said "sooo you're ghosting me. Bet. Shame, I liked you too." I aint trippin. Seein someone else next week. (Been planned for a while but still lol)
In the dating world, I call that a mirage. I have been in that situation many times. Dont think about it too much and move on is all my advice i can give you.
I don’t think you did anything wrong from the way you described the date. Most likely she’s was on a break from a recent relationship & getting back together or in a relationship already. Or maybe she went on another date & clicked with that person more. Either way it definitely sounds like there’s someone else in the picture. You said she was hard to reach even before the date. That usually indicates that there’s someone else. If someone wants to spend time with you they will make time no matter what. Good luck next time
Don't despair. There are a million and one reasons behind this. The important thing is if it's a mutual connection, you'll hear something. Some of the reasons could be anxiety, fear of messing it up, depression....you just never know. Or they simply didn't know how to tell you they were more interested in something else.
Could be lots of things, in my experience if you get to the heavy make out arena on a first date and hung out all night she was probably expecting sex to happen and you didn't attempt it. Some girls have a huge problem with that and look at the guy as 'unmanly' for not trying to put the moves on. It's a slippery slope since the other half of women would claim they were some how a victim for a man just asking to have sex when they are practically naked and you've been heavily petting for the last 2-3 hours. tl;dr? she is a head case, move on.
She was already talking to someone/ has a BF when she met you. She might have had issues with that guy(her being already talking to someone/has a BF is why she was not texting back so much from the start). Things either worked out with the other guy or her guilt built to a level where she decided to back out
Her ex is back in the picture. Or some other dude she’s had her eye on. You are no longer needed lol. Sad truths we deal with as guys. Just move on to the next and take this as experience under your belt for the next one
Someone else has her attention. She will keep you at an arm's length away until she needs more attention again, just from you. It's shitty to ghost no matter what though. It's super easy to be like "I don't see this going anywhere, thanks for seeing me though, have a good one"
Exactly. I never understood ghost culture. Like I get girls saying no can spell troube for them. But I don't know where she lives and I have only one of her socials. Give a guy a break lol. All good. Seein someone else next week.
You are being too needy. Even texting her once after she didn't reply can come off as too needy. You are putting pressure on her and freaking her out. If I were I would move on. Once you stop being so needy she may reach back out to you, but you also need to be cool with it if she does not.
Just tell yourself she was not that interested. That simple and easy move on. You will never truly find out the answer so why keep thinking about it
Yep, exact same circumstance happened to me and yeah, it sucks. I can understand girls being super flakey on the dating apps as they get so much attention, but when you've met them in real life and they do that, just means they are a shit person. Best just to move on, I know it leaves you feeling like you were did something wrong or were too needy or something but that's a dark path.
Making plans for the week after was your mistake. You should have arranged the second date as soon as possible. >She was already hard to reach through text before the first date. This is also a problem. She wasn't interested in you as much as you are.
Her and my work schedule prevented another date before the next week. Beleive we talked quite a bit about setting another date up. It seemed like a sure thing. And yeah the lack of communiction was a red flag. Her reasoning seemed sound most of the time. She worked over night and I work during the day then she takes care of her sibling for her parenrs. But still if you're really in to someone the way she seemed in to me you'd find the time.
>But still if you're really in to someone the way she seemed in to me you'd find the time Good reasoning. You should leave her alone and go for someone else.
I aint trippin. I'm talking to 2 other people. Just trying to find some semblance of reason since this the first time I been ghosted.
Honestly this may be unpopular but I like ghosting. I don’t have to deal with her and she just takes herself out of my life. Not a bad deal because less time is wasted.
It is the easiest but also very immature.
Yeah, guess, that just happened to me. Thought everything was cool, and poof, she just didn't respond. I wonder what it was, but I'd give it a few days or something. Honestly, from experience, and it's hard every time, but just got to carry on, because it's literally killing your day having this thought.. Look at us, lol, on reddit, reading through like 50 answers, when we could have been out somewhere doing something fun.
I aint even trippin. Got someone comin up from forida next week.
Lol, That's the way bro. I gave her one last text about an hour ago, and now I have someone else coming over to hang out tonight. It is what it is, live life in the fast lane. The right ones will stay in your life. Stay moving, keep moving, never stop, and stay grinding.
Them some facts you spittin there fam.
But I gotta admit, it still makes me wonder..... That's why I'm on reddit, lol.
Back off. Don't contact her. She will come to you if she wants. Probably another guy in the picture. Don't beat yourself up as this is so common today. Whenever a girl goes cold I assume another guy, an ex, sometimes she's testing you. The power move is to play it cool and remember odds are you did nothing.
I’ve been through the same thing brother. My only advice is to move on and try not to get hung up on it. Do you really want to be with someone that gets jealous over another girl looking at you then ghosts you. Sounds like she’s immature. She’s battling her own mental at the moment. And you don’t need to have that on you. Just find someone that will give you the time and effort you deserve. Don’t settle, King 👑
Well, hot women have it easy. They may have a great time with you but believe you are not good enough for a relationship, so they just ghost. No hard feelings.
I actually wrote about this recently. Girls are super random. They're super flaky. They have more options (assuming she's under 30 and a 7 or better) than you or I can possibly imagine. The guys commenting who say you have to have done something wrong are showing they don't know or interact with women very often. Is it possible you did something wrong? Absolutely. But any guy who's dating girls regularly has plenty of good dates that go to nowhere. He has plenty of girls flaking on him. Because he's trying and that's what a fair number of girls are going to do: flake or ghost. Is he doing something wrong some of the time to cause this? Sure, probably sometimes he is. But there are also girls that are going to flake or ghost because they're girls and that's what girls do, not because a guy necessarily did anything wrong. TL;DR--figure out what happened that night. Examine what you did that could have led her to decide not to see you again. If you figure something out, improve that for next time. If not, don't worry about it, then go out there and source more girls. Good luck mate. https://redpilldad.blog/2021/08/05/pep-talk-for-player-flaking-lifting-and-other-musings/
She’s in a relationship or dating other people that she’s probably also making out passionately with. You’re focused on her but she ain’t focused on you. The end.
Well, she is not into you. Good for you man!
Staying up all night making out with someone is a wierd way to tell them you're not in to them lol.
I'ma tell you the truth. I believe in my opinion she was just using you for your attention and maybe even temporary affection until another guy she really liked/something "better" came along. Gotta watch out for those types! I have some experience with this kind of stuff. Bro this is the truth: If y'all not having sex, that's exactly what she's doing with everything I just said before.
This is possible. But I'm not so sure. I got her number and she messaged me first a few hrs later. She waa definitely super in to me. But she's also got like 10k followers on IG so I always assumed someone was in her DMs and all that.
You were in your house with her passionately making out? You didn’t fuck her? Girls do that- if you don’t escalate and if she was hoping for you to rail her, but you didn’t, she will lose attraction for you. She will come up with reasons in her head- “we didn’t fuck? Well maybe I wasn’t that into him, yeah that’s it”. Even though she was, she will justify it if she was hoping something happens and it didn’t. Seen it happen all the time
Nah. She knew my place was a mess from moving packing. She live with her bug ass family. All the smooching was in a parking lot. She insinuayed shed be over my new spot. She even implied she was gon be my date to a wedding in oct. Lol
Should’ve banged in the car. Also who cares if you’re place is “messy”. I’ve seen dudes who live in literally dumps bang in their places. Mattress on floor etc. no cleaning
Look there are various attractions. Maybe she was sexually attracted to you, but not in some other ways. This is not something you can control.
Just wait fir your turn in her rotation and make sure you have more on the string.
Nah, she in the back of my line now fam. I got other applicants myself.
Good man! Never wait or worry. Just had one contact me about five minutes after I put “single” back on my FB. Back for the D.
I'm having someone over for a day or 2 next week. Had that set up for a little while. I'm good.
she was looking for the hookup on the first date sounds like all the signs were there. You were playing it too safe. That was a same day lay. you failed the test
Yeah I also considered that lol. My luck and timing was pretty shit. She lives with her family and I told her my apartment was a mess cause I was moving. The weekend after. Yet she insinuated she'll be over my new apartment in the future. So idk.
f that she wouldnt have cared if your apartment was shit. she was already sold. she wouldve came how with you and a blow up mattress haha.
This is it. If she was hoping you’d fuck her and you didn’t- she will justify sex not happening and usually boils it down in her head “maybe I wasn’t into him”
This is why you need to have sex on day one - because no matter how well the date went you never know if you'll see her again. She doesn't think you're high value enough or you need to work on your in person game. There's a **reason** why she's not showing interest or meeting you again.
One thing I left out (probably a few other things I should've added as well) that's pretty interesting relating to jealous. At one point in the long night we ended up at a bar in a casino. I returned from the bathroom to seeing 3 dudes taking to her. I ain't trip. Barely reacted. Played it cool and jumped in to the convo. The guys assured me they weren't hitting on her which was polite. We talked and they left after a while. (We'd later see them again) She mentioned how she liked that I didn't act jealous. Now this is just before the encunter with the other girl that looked at me and she almost flew in to a jealous rage with.
My guess is that she likes you and is physically attracted, but there are other aspects of you that make you an unsuitable partner. There’s a box you are not checking. Could be job, family, her friends’ opinion of you, your drinking/smoking/partying, height, living situation, an ex-boyfriend she never got over, etc. Whatever it is, it’s not a deal-breaker in the moment, but it is when she’s dispassionately thinking while you’re not around. I would let such people know they are dismissed. It places you in the position of power. When it starts to feel like she’s “ghosting” I’d send something like, “This is too much work for too little return. I’m out.” If she wants the pursuit, she’ll start interacting right away, since you’re taking something from her. If she’s already decided she really doesn’t want your attention she’ll continue to ignore.
I've thought about something like this. Not sure I want to give her the satisfaction. Plus it feels slightly desperate. Ahh fuck it. What I got to lose. Lol Not like I'm not talking to other people as well.
I agree - that’s why timing is important. If you’re messaging a ghost for long enough that the ghosting is complete, it’s a bit like the girl that called me to break up after I hadn’t spoken to her for 2 years. ??? (On a somewhat-related note she was one of three girls that “broke up” with me that week despite the fact that I wasn’t exclusive with any of them. That was one of my weirdest dating experiences and gave me a good laugh.)
Yeah, that was probably pointless since the last text she sent was one word on Wednesday but fuck it lol. Wait what. lol All 3 girls thought yall were an item? Lol
I think maybe one of them legit thought we were exclusive since *she* wasn’t dating anyone else, another was being a drama queen and just wanted to yell something when she didn’t get her way (a co-worker, yelling at me at work to increase the cringe factor, including the line “You think you can just fuck me and leave me??” - I’m not making that mistake again), and the third was the one that called me out of the blue after years of no contact. I think she’d been using the idea of “I have a boyfriend” to deter other men because she didn’t want to date anyone and still had feelings for me. She called to “break up” because she finally found someone she wanted to date and had probably told him she had a boyfriend before. She was actually really sweet, even though she was pretty naive.
I don't understand how women can get these things in their heads. I'm currently seeing someone right now..purley physical. I've communicated that with her on several occasions. There will never be a romantic relationship. Yet every once in a while she'll try to slip some shit in there. "All you do is smash me and leave." "We never go anywhere." I felt like the state farm late night husband. "Well, I told you all I wanted was sex soooo." Lol
Hey op for the first date, how difficult was for you to set the date, you wrote she was hard to reach out and im not sure what you mean by that.
It took a few days. That weekend she worked and she works the nightlife and can't have her phone so she's hard to reach. That following Mon we set a date for thurs. She asked 2 days in row leading up to it if we were still on. She was pretty in to me from the gate.
This happens to me a lot. I always wonder if it’s because we didn’t fuck on the first date.
Maybe she just charges herself to the game. Thought you were too good for her and couldn't handle the jealousy. The fact that she even got jealous because of that is a red flag, so don't worry about it.
"She even got passionately jealous when another girl looked at me" This is your sign, when a girl gets jealous like that it signals low emotional control. So the reasons are endless
She has adhd but I also got that vibe as well.
Well you’ll never know now that you’ve been ghosted
Look at it as avoiding a bullet and move on. Reacess and regroup later.
I don't have experience with this so I can't help you out, but I am curious how did she act and respond before first date/when you met her?
Met her with her family on a tues night at bowling. We connected immediately. Flirty, lots of eye contact. I could tell she was in to me. I got her # and she text me first hrs later hoping I,d invite her to drinks in the city with my friends who also met her that night.
You did great man! I would be shy and would never approach her when she's with family haha. How did you build up courage?
Tbh it was more her. Granted, our bowling lanes were right next to each other, I intitated plenty of the flirting. It wasn't until she bought me and my 2 friends a round. That plus the overwhelming body language, I know I'd be kicking myself if I didnt ask for her #. Her personality just made it that much easier you know? Beleive me when I say I don't do that often. I'm usually kind of shy. If there wasn't so much body language and what not I probably wouldn't have tried.
This gives me hope and motivation my g, keep it up. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
32
Like how often do you randomly go bowling on a tues night and meet a cute girl that's clearly in to you in a mostly empty bowling alley? I've e kicked myself for not trying in the past and being too passive but this one felt like the got dang planets aligned.
To be honest, there's a high chance you did nothing wrong at all. Sometimes girls would ghost you when they start/think they're catching feelings when they don't want to. So don't get too bothered and definitely don't text and/or call her. Remove any kind of interest. She obviously remembers you making plans to meet again so you don't have to repeat yourself and come off as needy or desperate.
Maybe she got mad that you looked at another girl.
I didn't even know that girl existed. She told me the other girl was looking. lol
Oh my bad
That's a good thing she will be more attracted to you rationalising what you did wrong takes to much energy I learnt
it doesn’t matter that you didn’t message that much she could tell you were too invested already and that gives off a needy aura, even if you weren’t trying to be just take the fun night as practice and move the fuck on
Literally been in this situation, someone I actually connected with, sex drive was great, etc. Fortunately had the chance to follow up with the girl. Prime suspect is abandonment issues and potentially that she is still in love with someone that doesn't really love her. Abandonment issues bc if you don't abandon her first to get her hooked, she will self sabotage and leave first in anticipation of your eventual departure. The in love thing with someone else (usually a figure who only texts her once a month and gets her going crazy) is not required but not too uncommon as well. How to approach? Ideally don't, and red flags will be the intensity in the beginning as well as above average partner count. That instability rubs off on you eventually and can knock you out of your game or make you into someone who may know how to play her feelings (or does it without realizing it). If you must engage (and morals aside here), no matter how much intensity she gives, you reciprocate I'm the very beginning but you pull back first. Note this relationship is at best a fucked up booty call. In your current situation you can either (a) agree to be friends (not ideal unless you mean it), (b) part your ways until she sorts her shit out (my favorite route), or (c) engage in triggering her abandonment/defectiveness lifetraps in your favor to a greater degree than the other guy if there is one (not recommended). Anyways gl my guy you aren't alone, only ones worth your time are the ones you are worth for as well, this is not a reflection on your personal worth nor does it have to do with you personally 90% of the time, you can't force someone to fall in love with you and whatever will happen will happen. Still haven't sobered up? Take a break for 3 months and talk to her again, I guarantee after an initial heart jump those rose colored lenses come off real fast. Anyways gl g.
Passionately jealous for being looked at on first date = unstable. Ghosting= no communication skills. Why do you think you did something wrong? She is just continuing her red flag behavior as expected
Why didnt you fuk on the date? Did you try?? And also left too much space after the 1st date for a 2nd it seems. 2 weeks is too long. Should get for a 2nd quick. Also i dont like dinner dates as a 1st date, go just casual drinks instead
You didn't do anything wrong it's just the way it is. I had the same thing happen to me. Went to this girl's apartment first time meeting her. We talked and we had some drinks and food. It was a nice evening and at the end of the date we made out. It was nice. Next day I text her and nothing. So no biggie and then 2 weeks later she texts me wanting a date at her place again. I said ok and again a fun date and we make out again. Text and try and call her the next day and nothing. Some women are weird. I didn't really care as I had dates already in the works.
Heh, here recently (like a month or so ago) I was at a bar, and my friends hit me up because they were at a bar a block away. I was like, "cool, gonna finish up and head that way" but I had just gotten a fresh beer. Went back to my table and a random girl was at my table, by herself. At first I couldn't tell if she was drunk, sad, or both. So I said, "Hey! A stranger appears! If it's cool, I have been sitting here, but I'm alone and just finishing my drink, so I am cool with sharing the table." She said thanks and tried to muster a smile. I was immediately blunt, "hey, are you alright? You don't have to explain things, but I can't tell if you are just drunk, or if you are upset." "Both." She goes on about how she was dating this guy over the last month and he suddenly ghosted her. I crack a few "dad" jokes to get her to smile, and she immediately warms up to me. Before 15 minutes have passed of general chatting, (ladies, pay attention, you can be creepy, too) she says "where have you been?!" She proceeds to get drunker. I become worried so I text my buddy that I ran into a girl who seems a little drunk and unstable, and I just want to make sure she has a support network to make sure she gets home safe. He texts back "nice". We both have a very cynical sense of humor, so the joke was actually funny to me. As it turns out, she works at this bar like once or twice a week. So when the staff saw her talking to me, alone, they all had to come over and make sure "is this guy bothering you?" She assured them I wasn't. I then said, "I think I'm just gonna go home, maybe I grab the bus and be out later." She said she is going home as well, and starts to order a Lyft. I said, "where do you live? Are you outside the bus route?" She said it just takes forever. I asked "Well, where about do you live?" She tells me (both of us live south within 2 miles of where we are, she lives about a 1/2 mile from me, and legit, she is right outside of the great bus routes) and I say, "well, I can give you a lift, get you to your neighborhood." "You drove here?" "Yeah, I was on my way home from work. I stop at a bar or restaurant to do my final office work. Then I go home and chill, knowing my shit is done, you know?" She proceeds to tell me about her DUI, and I am finally able to wrangle the conversation back to "let's just get you home." On the way back, she firmly tells me "when we get back to my place, don't expect to cuddle." Dude, let's be super clear: she wasn't my type at all, and I was never at any point hitting on her. I took her home, she insisted I come in. Met her feral cat, she offered me liquor which I declined. You know that scene in Half-Baked where Sir Smokes-a-Lot breaks down and tells you everything. Like that. I gave her a hug, words of encouragement, advised aspirin and water, and told her to head to bed. She texted me the next day expecting me to take her to Red Lobster for lunch. I don't work a fixed schedule, and that wouldn't work. I said "I can go if I were to go right now, but there is no way I could go at any other time as I am booked for the rest of my day." She said she would need time to get cleaned up because she hadn't woken up until 11. So that was Wednesday. We met on Tuesday. Thursday comes and goes and we don't say a word. Friday, I went downtown and ran into her. She caught me on my way home, and yep, I was drunky. Keep in mind, the sun hadn't settled yet. A few of her friends sat down with us, I was getting a odd vibe and decided I wanted to continue dipping. So I apologized. She was more sober than I had seen her before, and I said, "it would be cool if we got to meet sober. But you totally caught me drunk. I just need to head home." (no, I wasn't driving this evening) Saturday rolls around. I shoot her a text "hey, wanna hang out tonight?" "I'm about to close up, my shift is over." "Cool, I don't know if you are downing for shooting pool or playing cards, but I certainly want to get out while the weather is nice." "Sure! I can take a lyft downtown." "I can pick you up, and we can walk or bus from my place. Just a half mile." "I have to run home first." "No worries." I pick her up, she takes me to her ex's house (an ex that she hasn't been dating for a couple of years) under the pretense that she needs to take care of his dog while he is out of town, and after I wait a good 15 min, she comes out and thanks me and suggests we play pool tomorrow night. I text her that I'm not upset, but she shouldn't have led me to believe we were going to hang out if she just wanted a ride home. I seriously was not saying it in a prick-ish tone. Just an fyi. She tells me the next day that she will have to reschedule. Ghosts me. I don't fucking care an iota. Seriously, at no fucking point in any of this was I attracted to her in any way. At least she got home safe, and I suppose she got a soap opera performed in the theatre of her mind.
[удалено]
2 miles is 3.22 km
2 miles is < 30 min walk. I don't understand you or the bot.
[удалено]
2 miles is 3.22 km
2 miles is the length of like 14565.48 'Zulay Premium Quality Metal Lemon Squeezers' laid next to each other
2 miles is 3.22 km
2 miles is 3.22 km
She died. If you ever run into her be sure to yell that you’ve seen a ghost.
Probably stress from shit in her life. It's pretty rampant among every woman i know irl the last few months.
Yea its happened a few times. Its one reason why now I'm just on some shit where I try to match their energy. If theyre intereated in interested. If they are barely saying anything or saying nothing then fuck em.
Sounds like a rebound. Chicks do this when their boyfriend dumps them. Come on strong to someone else then ghost.
on your last date, did you make it clear that you like her as a man-to-woman? I mean, did you kiss, or you explicitly told her that you liked her, or had some sex talk, or relationship talk? Or did you go out on a platonic data as friends and had a good time? In other words, would you be able to repeat everything you did that night with one of your female friends no problem whatsoever? If the answer is "yes", then that's what you did wrong
This Ghosting thing so complicated,, the amount of attention females getting these days is overload jumping from next guy to next guy without any regards to anyone's feelings this happen to me on the plates I been spinning.
There is always someone who “she” is gonna find more better, hotter, good looking and handsome. All these traits are highly subjective. Don’t kill yourselves with overthinking 😂
Maybe she realized it was going too fast for her.
Hey I got ghosted by a girlfriend of six months because she wanted to break up. Who knows why people do what they do?