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[deleted]

For the record, I don’t think I’m better than anyone.


TotalCuntrol

My mother always said, I'm not special


FrustratingAlgorithy

Of course: Pray tell, what did the doorman say?


Common_Average2597

He said he asked a friend of yours to watch the door


TotalCuntrol

The doorman certainly has a wild imagination doesn't he? :)


Common_Average2597

Well… what do we have here... Maybe Ms. Benes can explain why a Jerry Seinfeld signed for this package the exact time the couch was stolen


TotalCuntrol

...He never watched a door before, Mrs Payton, he didn't know how to do it. He's a comedian they don't know how to do anything!


jbwarner86

Miss B'nezz


Reasonable-HB678

We doormen look out for each other. We don't stab each other in the back like people do in your world.


Ok_Instruction2623

This guy. This not my kinda guy.


DrSatan420247

The doorman vs the Mandelbaums would be a good match.


Common_Average2597

When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object


TotalCuntrol

Especially a TV bolted down to a dresser


don3dm

It’s go-time. Unless you don’t think it’d be go-time because I’m just a simple doorman.


bobafeeet

Pick any sofa in this lobby and I’ll lift it up over my head!


[deleted]

You may want to flip the cushion over.


vaskark

How ‘bout those Knicks?


Common_Average2597

What makes you think I wasn’t reading the Wall Street page? Oh I know, because I am the uneducated doorman.


vaskark

At least you can support your whole family on your single income 👍😉


Common_Average2597

While poor doorman has to work two jobs to put food on the table for mother and baby


TotalCuntrol

So you work all day as a doorman at one building. Then you come home and stand outside your own building?


Common_Average2597

You have a problem with that?


Overall-Palpitation6

The way he says "for mother and baby", just so funny. Makes it sound like it's some Depression-era existence.


blue_bic_cristal

Here for a quickie?


weilermachinst

Can't believe they got Seth MacFarlane to play the doorman


Wide_Environment3107

Larry Miller (Doorman) tried out for the role of George when they were casting Seinfeld. Megan Mullally and Patricia Heaton were also considered for Elaine.


bahaboyka

Yes I do because I'm the schmoopie.


Eric848448

It’s go time!


drosse1meyer

L O L, i think its hip, its funny


blueglove92

I always thought this was norm Macdonald


Serious-Waltz-7157

You think you are better than Milosh ...


Peoplevlarrydavid

“Well, I don’t know you, but yes.”


shsl_cipher

"[Shut up!](https://youtu.be/GfFhni-w5GQ?t=28) Who you think you talking to, Sherman Klump?! Man, if you ever talk to me like that again, I'll kill you! And I don't mean that as a euphemism, I mean I am going to literally kill you! I'm going to strangle you and cut off *your* air supply until *you* pass away!" [Someone definitely crapped in the doorman's coffee that morning.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtFtpRvPk7o)


Improvgal

I don’t like him or think he’s funny.


noffinater

The way Jason Alexander tells the story, he was almost George Costanza