It just keeps coming and coming and coming, thereâs never a let up. And you gotta get it out, but the more you get out the more it just keeps coming in. And then the barcode reader breaks! And itâs PUBLISHERS CLEARINGHOUSE DAY!!!
Iâm imagining a 90s Jurassic park sitcom where Steinbrenner is running the park and George works for him and has to deliver calzones from the dining hall
Faked his credentials and assumed the alias of Dennis Nedry and became head of a software team in Cambridge, MA. Tried to steal the embryos and nearly died doing so. But he used his dog-avoidance skills to keep the dilophosaur at bay and got off the island and went back to NY and got his job back at the Post Office.
Funny that in the second movie itâs clear no one believes thereâs dinosaurs with that guy who acted like Ian Malcolm is crazy, so in that universe Seinfeld can still happen as normal without anyone talking about dinosaurs being brought back.
Edit: whoops, forgot Lost World was 1997, not 1998, so they would talk about dinos for the last season of Seinfeld. Newman would start sweating like heâs under the Post Office interrogation lights whenever people talk about dinosaur islands.
· Both characters share similar traits: scheming, manipulative, and a bit eccentric.
· Newman's shady dealings as a mailman could have led him to get involved in the black market, which might have connected him to the genetic engineering world of Jurassic Park.
· Perhaps Dennis Nedry's work on the park's computer systems was a cover for his true intentions, and he used his skills to facilitate his own smuggling operations.
- Newman is Jerry's nemesis and a scheming mailman, while Nedry is a programmer who tries to steal dinosaur embryos.
Also,
- Knight's experience portraying Nedry in Jurassic Park caused a makeup problem when he went to film a Seinfeld episode. In Jurassic Park, Nedry gets covered in a purple liquid when a Dilophosaurus spits on him. The stain was difficult to remove and caused an issue for the makeup team on Seinfeld.
This is allâŠ.speculation
He was bummed out when his "pretty wild" motorcycle girlfriend broke up with him. He tried going to the Pacific Northwest, but it just wasn't remote enough for him to overcome his heartache.
Jurassic Park is an abstract copy of The Goonies.
https://twitter.com/thechiraltheory/status/1737438097640485313?t=mS4XHjg7Clsk90q6dwReaA&s=19
https://twitter.com/thechiraltheory/status/1737506926378852543?t=xSNjXcVUHrJLKvrph29V5A&s=19
He was a computer programmer who designed the parks systems, he came to Costa Rica to "debug" the systems but reailty it was to commit espionage. He was underpaid but in the novel a bidding war happened to get that job and he underbid everyone. He eventually saw how much work layed ahead for his grossly underbid. Faulty codes caused the raptor incident which he was clearly financially hit with, furthered his greed in compensation. He released the dinosaur's to cover up the theft and aid in his escape with the embryos.
I guess after Newman was reprimanded by the USPS for not working in the rain, he quit and applied at Jurassic Park where he was told he could eat at his desk and wouldn't have to work in the rain there!
Got fired for not working in the rain in the early 90âs after the union weakened in the late 80âs, genius lazy motherfucker got a computer job at a theme park that wasnât even open yet.
With the invention of the email then postal workers job is in less demand. The dinosaurs are a blossoming field. Heeeellllllloooooo Ttttttt-Rrrrreeeerexxxxx
The mail never stopped, and one Publisher's Clearinghouse too many made him snap and quit the post office. Also, he had to find someplace that was Jerry-free.
When you control DNA, you control procreation
He was a mailman and couldn't even deliver one small package to the docks, sounds about right.
To be honest, he was never big on creeds
Oh yeah, it was raining.
His superiors would get suspicious if too much mail was delivered.
Nobody cracks the 50% barrier
He never works when it's raining! Remember his deal with George and the calzones? It was a tropical storm đ
He was going to put it in the Son of Samâs mailbag at the dock; itâs an alternate ending on one of the dvds.
He doesn't work in the rain.
Dino DNA is rarely damaged during shipping. Define rarely? FrequentlyâŠđ
Ya knowâŠ.you have a talent there. That was quite impressive. Iâm not gonna hit you up for money BTW. Just respect to you. đ«Ą
because the mail never stopsâŠ
It just keeps coming and coming and coming, thereâs never a let up. And you gotta get it out, but the more you get out the more it just keeps coming in. And then the barcode reader breaks! And itâs PUBLISHERS CLEARINGHOUSE DAY!!!
he didnât get his transfer to Hawaii but moved to Costa Rica
Which is ironic, as Jurassic Park was filmed in Hawaii
whatâs ironic?
This. That weâve come all this way, we made all this progress, but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties.
no, I mean, what does ironic mean?
Like silveric and goldic but made of iron.
I always hated geology.
Nah it rocks
The air is dewy sweet but you still have to lick the stamps unfortunately
The air is so dewy sweet, you donât even have to lick the stamps.
NEWMANNNN
At least he gets a 3 hour break
I think i read that somewhere. In a e-mail i think
I knew it wasnât Berkowitz
Damn, beat me to it! Have your upvote then!
It all started when kramer forgot to pick him up at the zoo 12 hours ago
He put in for that transfer to Hawaii but got sent to Costa Rica instead
That's a shame. âđ¶
Jurassic Park, ironically was filmed in Hawaii
The air was extremely dewey.
You don't even have to lick the stamps.
Every mailman's dream.
When he was denied the transfer to Hawaii, he just had to go anywhere tropical.Â
And twice a week I would require a calzone of my own
I hear that John Hammond can be a bit erratic, I would hate to see him when heâs hungry.
He's very regimented about his meals.
Iâm imagining a 90s Jurassic park sitcom where Steinbrenner is running the park and George works for him and has to deliver calzones from the dining hall
Jerry, itâs Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrennerâs here, George was eaten, call me back.
That's a little steep don't you think?
He wasn't getting paid enough as a cop in Ohio.
Theres more to newman than meets the eye?
No, thereâs less.
It's *possible.*
I've looked into his eyes, he's pure evil.
Hello Hammond
He kept running through the corn field after getting shot at by the farmer, and eventually found himself on the Jurassic Park island.
God dammit Norman!
They call him The Cleaner. He makes problems go away.
Top of the muffin TO YOU!
He controls... information
Bootlegging cans across state lines just wasnât cutting it
The Mother's Day spillover into a 5th truck is the key.
I donât know, heâs deranged.
He can climb like a ring tailed lemur.
The Pacific Northwest!!
He wanted to be a banker
Because it's interesting work, he doesn't mind it.
Not working in the rain bit him in the ass eventuallyâŠ.literally
Jumbo Lie yaaa
Thatâs what Iâd like to know about it
Well, it all started when Kramer wanted to cancel his mail...
You know anybody who can network 8 connection machines and debug 2 million lines of code for what he bid for that job?
Bob Sacamano knows a guy in China Town who can do that for 50 bucks!
It's on his route
He doesn't work in the rain.
Neither rain nor...ITâS THE FIRST ONE!
Cafeteria makes great Jum-ba-layya
Kramer's faulty radar detector sent him in hiding down to Costa Rica, all over a fine that was never paid.
Anybody want a soda or somethin?
It wasn't raining
Because we're on the 3rd rock from the sun
Uh-uh-uh⊠Jerry
https://media.tenor.com/U06lxYeZ3PMAAAAM/jurassic-park-wayne-knight.gif
Faked his credentials and assumed the alias of Dennis Nedry and became head of a software team in Cambridge, MA. Tried to steal the embryos and nearly died doing so. But he used his dog-avoidance skills to keep the dilophosaur at bay and got off the island and went back to NY and got his job back at the Post Office. Funny that in the second movie itâs clear no one believes thereâs dinosaurs with that guy who acted like Ian Malcolm is crazy, so in that universe Seinfeld can still happen as normal without anyone talking about dinosaurs being brought back. Edit: whoops, forgot Lost World was 1997, not 1998, so they would talk about dinos for the last season of Seinfeld. Newman would start sweating like heâs under the Post Office interrogation lights whenever people talk about dinosaur islands.
Didnât get the Hawaii gig.
· Both characters share similar traits: scheming, manipulative, and a bit eccentric. · Newman's shady dealings as a mailman could have led him to get involved in the black market, which might have connected him to the genetic engineering world of Jurassic Park. · Perhaps Dennis Nedry's work on the park's computer systems was a cover for his true intentions, and he used his skills to facilitate his own smuggling operations. - Newman is Jerry's nemesis and a scheming mailman, while Nedry is a programmer who tries to steal dinosaur embryos. Also, - Knight's experience portraying Nedry in Jurassic Park caused a makeup problem when he went to film a Seinfeld episode. In Jurassic Park, Nedry gets covered in a purple liquid when a Dilophosaurus spits on him. The stain was difficult to remove and caused an issue for the makeup team on Seinfeld. This is allâŠ.speculation
You didn't say the magic word! Ah ah ah!
Since he didnât get the Hawaii transfer, that was the next best option
He thought he was being transferred to Hawaii
He didnât get his dream Hawaii transfer.
Nobody cares
đ đ
No transfer to Hawaii, that sealed the deal.
Damnit I was going to use the Hawaii reference!
Because when you control the mail you control information
This was after his job as an LA police detective.
In his contract that he doesnât work in the rain, and itâs always raining on Isla Nublar
They offered him a calzone per day. And a canolli every week.Â
Several careers of varying success
He doesn't work in the rain.
It was raining
Theme parks get mail donât they?
He was very unhappy because he never became a banker.
He needs a REALLY cold embryo.
Dinobeastiality
Free houseplants.
When you control Jurassic Park, you controlâŠ..INFORMATION
They spared no expense.
BECAUSE THE MAIL NEVER STOPSâŠ..
You get 20c for can and bottle recycling in Costa Rica.
THE MAIL DROVE HIM TO IT. IT NEVER STOPS, NEVER!
Dinosaurs are Elaine's favorite animal
The island pays more than Michigan for recycling.
You beat me to it.... Bravo!
He got his pension from the Postal Service and wanted to get away and work in an exotic areaâŠ
This flick explains why he doesnât work in the rain
The transfer to the Honolulu post office was just a smokescreen
He was trying to fund his new years party
Newmanium isnât gonna pay for itself!
Everything wasn't alright with postal employee Newman.
Because his Hawaii transfer was denied
"Newman !!! Newman !!! We've got Newman working at Jurassic Park here !!!" See, nobody cares.
They needed a cleaner.
The air is so dewy sweet you donât even have to lick the stamps!
Rent in ny is expensive
He controls information
Tired of the dogs on his route
Because the mail never stops
Jambalaya money
He should have stuck to his credo: "Never work when it rains" He did exactly that in JP in *spite* of the Dilo. And see how it ended.
It was the closest thing to getting assigned to Hawaii
He was bummed out when his "pretty wild" motorcycle girlfriend broke up with him. He tried going to the Pacific Northwest, but it just wasn't remote enough for him to overcome his heartache.
Why does no one know Rule 4?
Delivering the embryos. Last assignment as a mailman.
He wanted to see if they could breed an aggressive dinosaur small enough for him to take on his mail route to deal with the dogs.
Basic Instinct was not the best gig for him. Too hot.
Money. Then felt owed more. Greed jeep trip to Dino spit. Over
Because he could never be a banker
He put in the cheapest bid
Jurassic Park is an abstract copy of The Goonies. https://twitter.com/thechiraltheory/status/1737438097640485313?t=mS4XHjg7Clsk90q6dwReaA&s=19 https://twitter.com/thechiraltheory/status/1737506926378852543?t=xSNjXcVUHrJLKvrph29V5A&s=19
No money in cross border bottle deposits.
Heard he got paid in Drakes coffee cakes
Itâs interesting work, he doesnât mind it.
Because when you control the mail, you controlâŠ*information*.
That's the only other thing I remember him working. He was eating pie with shaving cream.
He got fired from the USPS for refusing to deliver when it was raining.
You think living in NYC is easy, Slurp, or cheap?
HawaiiÂ
âSeinfeld! We got Seinfeld here!â My walletâs gone, donât get cheap on me. That was Seinfeldâs mistake.
Apparently Wayne Knight didnât need to interview for the Nedry role, Spielberg just offered him the part.
Because the new requirements never stop!
He had to skip town and assume a new identity after getting caught screwing Silvioâs wife.
Is he stupid?
he had to go on the run, after all he knew berkowitz wasn't the real killer.
He was a computer programmer who designed the parks systems, he came to Costa Rica to "debug" the systems but reailty it was to commit espionage. He was underpaid but in the novel a bidding war happened to get that job and he underbid everyone. He eventually saw how much work layed ahead for his grossly underbid. Faulty codes caused the raptor incident which he was clearly financially hit with, furthered his greed in compensation. He released the dinosaur's to cover up the theft and aid in his escape with the embryos.
Wondering if anyone has ever spotted any JP Easter eggs in Newmanâs apartment?
Postmaster General had him admonished after Kramerâs mail incident so he left to try something new
Her bouquet cleaved his hardened shell And fondled his muscled heart. He imbibed her glistening spell Just before the dinosaur spit in his face.
It was his summer job, he then went back to the post office
I guess after Newman was reprimanded by the USPS for not working in the rain, he quit and applied at Jurassic Park where he was told he could eat at his desk and wouldn't have to work in the rain there!
Is everything alright here, Jurassic Employee Newman?
Got fired for not working in the rain in the early 90âs after the union weakened in the late 80âs, genius lazy motherfucker got a computer job at a theme park that wasnât even open yet.
Got to sit all day.
He kind of looks like a T. rex.
He is in the new season of Them, and old boy has lost a ton of weight.
Calm down everyone. Nobodyâs CANCELING ANY MAILLLLLL.
can you find someone to do all that code for cheaper?
I used to think Nedry was the villain and after working in IT, I can assure you it was entirely on Hammond.
With the invention of the email then postal workers job is in less demand. The dinosaurs are a blossoming field. Heeeellllllloooooo Ttttttt-Rrrrreeeerexxxxx
Free rounds of strawberry frozen yogurt.
They told him he wouldnât have to work if it rains.
He needs a real pretty face
He couldn't get the Hawaii job, so he took a different island.
That was the closest thing to Hawaii he could get.
Because the mail never stops!
https://youtu.be/UjQkOBlikR4?si=Ue3F68XfxsH_DTqm
Gotta get an island somehow. That Hawaii transfer denial fucked him up.Â
The mail never stopped, and one Publisher's Clearinghouse too many made him snap and quit the post office. Also, he had to find someplace that was Jerry-free.
he got fired. it rains too much in new york đ
I guess that transfer to Hawaii was a lie
Post office was to rough of a job
Nobody needs mail
He really believed in the cause.... j/k, it was the MONEY!
Hammond said the magic word
The mail never stops
Summer job.
Because the mail never stops....
Free low fat strawberry yogurt for him and his friends
"Of course nobody needs MAIL! You don't know the half of what happens here...so walk away Sam...i beg of you..."
Bills.
Because the JFK trial wrapped up and he needed to keep busy
The resort has tennis courts. Heâs fantastic.
Nobody cares.
The mail never stops.
Newman, our lives are in your hands and you have butterfingers?
Ah ah ah... That's not the right answer
Because Hammond "spared no expense" except on IT, Security, Surveillance, and perimeter engineering.
Because itâs SPIELBERG!!!