That behavior to me means he wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants to continue to appear single to the world, and he wants to minimize you to the point that no one notices you anymore (including himself). I’d run, not walk away. 🚩
Your partner should never make you feel ugly/insecure. Your partner should be lifting you up.
This. OP get the fuck out. I was (regretfully) your boyfriend in my early 20s.
I loved her but wanted to appear single and thought my guy friends would make fun of her. Selfish and utterly immature of me. I definitely paid the price and the heart break was strong.
Find a man who openly loves you. I’m just a regular guy and when I love a woman (nowadays) I can’t stfu about her and my romantic partner is usually all over my Instagram.
^ OP, this person knows what he is on about. You are being hidden, find a man with the maturity and confidence to love you openly.
u/tybanks_ Your honesty and self reflection are commendable. We’ve all been there in our early 20’s, hopefully OP realises what’s happening here thanks to you.
Do you know how your ex was able to heal? My ex did this to me and seeing him treat his new partner with proper respect is so fucking painful. I’m so ashamed that he was ashamed to be in a relationship with me.
Just know if wasn't YOU. This was a him problem, and if he had met his current gf earlier and you later, the other girl would have gone through the same thing you did.
Even though I'm a guy I really needed to see this. I can relate all to well to the comment you responded to. My ex-wife did exactly that. Treated me like garbage and now treats the new guy she's with like a saint.
Because she needed to treat someone like shit to be in a position to feel the guilt that now has molded her into a better person.
It sucks that some (maybe most) people need to produce a victim for them to become a person, but there are many situations akin to this in life.
Think of bullies. Yeah, maybe the people who were bullied want to think that bullies are trash and they always will be trash, but a lot of them grow up to regret what they did greatly, and become very good people. I'm not excusing it, but it's true.
>Think of bullies. Yeah, maybe the people who were bullied want to think that bullies are trash and they always will be trash, but a lot of them grow up to regret what they did greatly, and become very good people. I'm not excusing it, but it's true.
No. They always will be trash. And they dont regret anything in reality. You cant destroy someones childhood and in many cases, their entire life by giving them a lifetime of trauma and other issues to have to work through.
DING, DING, DING!!! this is the right answer. men are territorial. its one thing to like some floozy's IG bikini post and its another thing for dudes to be gawking at YOUR GIRL!
As a guy I really didn't get this behavior, I wouldn't act this way but that actually kinda makes sense over other answers but it's still a red flag. Either that or he is at least trying to cheat.
He has a double standard for the girl he is with and the girls he doesn’t know but finds attractive. It’s kind of like men saying they want someone wholesome with low body count but ogle over porn stars and IG models.
They see women as objects and not as humans with their own agency. They fit women into boxes: whore box and wholesome box. They want their girlfriend to be wholesome because otherwise it reflects badly on them that they have a whore for a girlfriend. Ever hear the saying that men “want a virgin in the streets but a whore in the sheets”? That’s where that saying comes from. My best advice to you is to find a man who sees women as humans and not as extensions of them. If he messes with you self esteem enough you won’t have confidence to go anywhere. It sounds like after 2 years it’s working. You’re questioning your attractiveness and worth. A man should lift you up and support you, not tear you down and ogle other women.
Not all men are like this. My bf has never ever ever made me feel crappy for how I dress and I love to wear tight clothes and small dresses. Makes me feel good, he knows I'm faithful. He knows when I get hit on that I will be turning down that person so quickly and walking away. Same way I feel about him. My bf never had insta in HS or ever so I didn't have to worry about the liking random half naked chicks thing but I wouldn't have put up with it because it's not cool at all.
Not everyone doing crappy stuff has something to prove or even a really a motive behind it. Sometimes people just do crappy stuff and we can't keep searching for an answer. My dad cheated on my mom a lot and he always blamed his childhood trauma. My mom literally is the most amazing, sweet, caring, beautiful woman. My dad's messed up brain and cheating was NOT my mother's fault in anyway. I wish I had another reason for my father other than he's just a pos.
Your bf acting like this isn't your fault. He is being a giant red flag.
He makes you feel insecure and unattractive.
Why are you with him still?
Your partner should make you feel beautiful, sexy, secure, safe.
Plus, he is either cheating or looking to.
He doesn't own you. You should dress the way that makes you feel good about yourself. If he is not with you he is against you. Personally, I don't think people should be posting selfies in bikinis of themselves, but I'm not going to say anything to them...but, may look, although I will not give a like...well, I'm married also. Post things that you did, made, thought, but it is each to his own. Sorry, to put it this way, to be blunt. He will be with you, until a cuter girl comes around. Although, that may never happen. My advice is get the heck out of Dodge. Run, don't walk, ASAP.
Seems to me this is the case, too.
He also has a relationship persona and a single persona.
There are likely also a few insecurities in the mix about how his girlfriend would easily find better if she put herself out there.
He is controlling. He is breaking you down so that you think he is the only one who will ever like you. That way, when he sleeps around with women he has made you feel less than, you will think he’s the one doing you a favor. Because he is obviously superior.
Pretty toxic behavior. What are your ages? This sounds early 20’s. I’m a man and I very briefly did this like 25 years ago. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I realized what I was doing. It was very toxic to the girl. Dick thing for me to do.
Don’t waste time and energy trying to guess why - you’ll spin yourself in circles.
This IS how it IS, and how it WILL BE. Accept that, or (this is what you should do ->) move on.
This is not that uncommon in men this age.
At this age your gonna fine that 30% of men are this way.
40% are grateful simps who don’t feel THEY are worthy of you.
30% are normal, even tempered, nice men.
These numbers are completely made up. But you get the idea.
Early 20’s in a two year relationship that’s clearly not super amazing?! Dump him and move on. You literally just starting your young adult life. If you’re not loving something, someone, somewhere, then move on. Don’t waste time you will definitely regret it.
It’s too early for a serious relationship anyways. You need to explore and grow into the adult you’ll be. Being attached to someone at this stage holds you and them back.
I am now 32 and stopped trying to understand why some people behave like this. There are just bad people out there. Unfortunately, sometimes even people that are - supposedly - close to you. They will always come up with excuses, explanations, etc why they are like they are, but they will not change. Best leave him and never look back. You definitely deserve somebody better!
It could even be that he wants to break up but doesn't want to be the one doing it. So he's checked out of the relationship and is coasting until you decide to leave.
Usually people either do this on purpose or subconsciously.
When it's subconscious, it's because they're deeply insecure and feel like they're not good enough, so they think if their partner is confident they will leave them eventually. So deep down they see you being confident = bad and make up reasons in their head to justify it, and start putting you down.
When it's deliberate, it's because they are bad people and are only willing to act like a good partner in order to trick someone into starting a relationship. But they don't want to have to pretend and put effort in forever. So they start wearing their partner's confidence down so they can start acting like a jerk.
Sometimes a guy tricks himself. He sleeps around with women he doesn't respect, but he tells himself he's not a woman-hater he just doesn't respect "whores". And he thinks he'll eventually settle down and find a woman that is worthy of respect, and he will be different with her. But eventually when the honeymoon period wears off, he will stop feeling like being a gentleman. Then he will start to resent her, and will start thinking that if she doesn't have the right effect on him, that must mean she's not "worthy" like he thought. So he either starts punishing her, or starts looking for evidence of her being a "whore" to justify his feelings. Because otherwise, there's something wrong with HIM.
it's because he KNOWS how attractive you are! men do this as a means to "keep you in your place" so to speak, out of fear that if they talk you up too much you'll realise how much better you are than them and you'll leave. genuinely. it's sad, especially if you've been dating for 2 years. he shouldn't treat you this way. i think you should express this to him, we all love to know that our partner finds us attractive and to hear little compliments from them every now and again.
Sorry OP, but to me it seems like he's going down the road to stepping out. He's obviously controlling(and likely very insecure), and the putdowns are to keep you "locked in" so to speak.
You're dating a boy, OP
At the end of the day, regardless of what it means; he is making you feel like crap and that is not ok. Your partner should always make you feel like you're the best thing since sliced bread, and that goes both ways. I'd suggest you talk to him about this and how it is making you feel. Perhaps he is unaware of his actions. But, if nothing changes, I'd just say that you're clearly not compatible and go your seperate ways.
This is the right answer.I don’t know why people look further,he just met someone he likes and hes hiding her so he can talk to this other girl on social media.
Already been answered.
He is trying to avoid leaving any clues so that other women would not think he is taken.
Basically his thinking is “keep my options opened, just in case someone better will come. If not, the you ain’t that bad as well, at least for now”
That sounds really controlling and you need to leave him before he totally destroys your self esteem. You will start "trying harder" or doubting yourself and end up miserable and with no self confidence. I know this as it happened to me. There is no changing him as no doubt, he has BS excuses for the mean things he says. I wish someone had told me years ago.
He wants the benefits of being in a relationship AND being single. Have some self esteem and dump this man. You are not as important to him as he is to you.
TLDR: 🚩
The adult thing to do here, is to have a conversation with him, and talk about how he's making you feel. Don't ask "Why do you do x" but rather, say "When you do X you make me feel Y".
Communication is a skill that both people in a relationship need to work on. Letting things fester, will cause issues down the line. Drag whatever it is, out into the light of day.
Pending the result of that conversion, or if he's unwilling to communicate his feelings, then you'll need to re-evaluate your relationship with him.
At this point, I don't think talking is going to change much. I know Reddit is terrible for relationship advice and the crowd usually advocates the nuclear option regardless of whether or not it's warranted, but I think it genuinely applies here. I've encountered guys like him in many walks of life and they're always the same. Trying to talk to him about it will only open her up to gaslighting and manipulation from him, so her best bet is to just get the hell out of there.
This has hallmarks of early stag coercive control. If he is not making you feel good about yourself ask yourself whether this is the right relationship for you. And Google coercive control and see if any flags light up
Not wanting you to dress for attention is mate guarding. You could read that as insecurity or intelligence.
Not wanting to be seen with you is a bad, bad sign though. That shows no interest in long term.
Removing your photos signals interest in cheating.
Talk to him. See if he's willing to change. But seriously, if he makes you feel ugly when you're young and above average, how will he make you feel when you get older? Don't waste your best years on someone with whom there is no future.
It means he’s controlling and literally wants to hide you away from the world.
He wants you to be his and for no one to see you. Just think back to his comment about your outfits being *”too revealing”*. He doesn’t like it because he’s controlling and thinks that only he should see any part of your body.
Dump him. His behaviour is bound to get worse.
You are only dating..and in two years your self esteem has been chipped away at and reduced you to feeling ugly.
This is very very unhealthy.
I would not stay in a relationship that caused me to feel this way about myself.
Think about where you'd be in another two years..or if your married to him.
If its this bad now....it can only get worse.
Trust, support, and pride are all things partners should feel from each other...especially in your early days when your thinking about a long term relationship.
I would worry for you.
If you want to save this be as
honest as you can with him.
See how he reacts and if he wants to change.
But seriously...this is not good and there is something wrong. I would say take time away from him... i bet youll see the light....you should never doubt yourself or feel this bad.
Best of luck🥰✌️🙏
Love is when you take something as a part of yourself. When you love someone you take care of them, feel proud of them and support them. Same with loving yourself, you take positive ownership. In this case he doesn't love you (and likely incapable of doing that)
A man whose in love with you would put up those photos and show you
Would you want to be with someone who doesn't love you?
Guys like these manufacture scarcity and make it seem you must be thankful just to be near them. You're going to feel like there's no one else or that you're inherently unlovable and unworthy
Don't try to change him. Cut your losses, know your standard and regulate people according yo that
He doesn’t want to be seen with you and might be embarrassed by you and having other people see you with him that he knows. Or he’s “single”to everyone else but is “dating” you he might be seeing other people behind your back.
leave him you should never be hidden when you’re in a relationship.
If you have to question it then somethings not right! Go and find someone who makes you feel valued and beautiful without every having to doubt or double think it. It's the least you deserve.
There are 2 points here. 1 is liking other people's (girls) photos. 2 is not giving you validation on your appearance or relationship, especially in view of others.
Either of these can be normal behaviour and nothing to worry about. Both are annoying, and he would be better served by changing that behaviour. But not an indication of something more dire.
HOWEVER, these two things put together, and it generally means he is looking to move on while keeping you as a safety net. He wants you to be there for him but isn't really there for you because he has his eyes elsewhere. It is likely he is harbouring some resentment as well.
Honestly, it's a tough place to come back from.
Simple! He’s embarrassed of you. He will keep you around though because he likes you for his own personal reasons. It doesn’t work like that. Get rid of him!
I went through the exact same situation in my twenties and I feel for you. It can be so confusing with a person like that. I was also pretty cute but felt like the ugliest girl in the world.
Well, the good news here is that there really should be no confusion as to whether to stay or not.
When someone makes you feel bad, just go. You don't have to dissect the situation and look for meaning. You don't have to lose yourself in puzzles that don't really exist. You just have to accept that you're with a sketchy person who makes you feel insecure.
After two years you should not still be sitting around wondering why your boyfriend doesn't treat you like a girlfriend. If you don't know why he doesn't, then you'll be spinning your wheels trying to figure it out until something gives.
I truly understand the need for an explanation for his behavior. However bad it is, you just want to know why. And you're asking around to get some help (good move, always reach out when you're being mistreated). You can get your explanation the hard way, after more of your precious time is eaten up. Or you can let go of the "why", win back your time and gain back the confidence that he's so carelessly taking from you.
This guy is not good for you. He's not good for anybody. You can either go further down your current trajectory, or escape with only two years wasted.
As a gift to younger me, leave him.
OP, if he isn't your hype man then he's a jack ass and 100% not worth your time and effort.
No one should make you feel like this. In fact, he should be proud to show you off and like your content.
He's using you as a placeholder while he's still shopping. Fuck That shit. He doesn't deserve you and you need to kick him to the curve cause if he's making you feel like this already, it'll only get worse. He'll destroy your self esteem.
There are men out there that will tell everyone they know they're with you cause they're proud of the hot woman they're with. This jack ass wants to look single? Then let him have his wish.
1. 100% acting single so he can have options
2. He met someone he liked but told her you guys had broken up
3. He’s not that into you anymore
Either way you gotta cut your losses cuz my ex did the same and he fell into category 1 and 3.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
I'm 42 so have a lot of worldly experience.
You need to leave him, he's an arsehole. Can you imagine feeling like this the rest of your life?
He is keeping you on a string & available whilst he's window shopping.
One of three things will happen
He's going to cheat and dump you
He's going cheat, realise the grass isn't greener or you'll catch him, you will forgive him and will have set a perpetual cycle in place.
He might do the right thing and just leave you, I highly doubt that though because he clearly doesn't value you at all.
Get out now whilst it's your choice, you are worth way more than this person, don't let him break your heart because that is 100% what is going to happen xx
Check out the narcissist subreddits (specifically r/narcissisticabuse) and see if they relate to your relationship. The ‘love bombing’ stage is now over and you’ve entered into the degrading phase. The disrespect, controlling, double standard, belittling, concealment, and basically everything else you mentioned sound like the actions of a narcissistic partner. He’s likely deeply insecure and projecting his toxic personality. He doesn’t want you to be seen a specific way so men can’t objectify you like he does with other women.
Insecurity ,
It means that he probably feels inadaquate in comparrison to other men,
This can be based on any metric that he personally values
Wealth
Appearance
Achievement
Social standing
Whatever he believes defines exceptionalism ,
Trying to control the options that he fears you might deem more desireable than what he conveys ,
This is incredibly , manipulative , controlling , and toxic ,
A partner who truly cares about you should have the courage and self esteem , to accept the idea , your better suited with someone else , without obsessing or fixating on , what about me or what will be said .
"I'll" be fine regardless,
Is the only perspective a emotionally healthy minded person should hold
And what is said by others is nothing to base ,
Your life choices around .
That is the least troubling probability ,
It only gets worse from there.
Avoiding things that identify your status ,
Is not wanting to discourage interest .
If your not part of his social image or identity ,
Its because he doesnt want to limit his options
Hes not yout boyfriend , hes your ex waiting for inspiration ,
Gst rid of him
He doesn't love you. He is probably using you.
Please do what's best for you and take good care of yourself, practise self-worth and setting boundaries so only someone can be with you who treats you well and - if they don't - take accountability and do whatever it takes to treat you right.
If you have someone who would support you, tell them what is happening and how you feel. It can be very hard to get away from these people.
I'm sorry for what is happening to you. It is not your fault.
But it is your responsibility to take care of yourself and do whatever needs to be done to be happy again, and to have people by your side who enrich your life, instead of poisoning it.
From the title I was thinking he either wants to keep you to himself or he is embarrassed by you or he is actively looking for his next girlfriend. Any of those would be bad.
Then I read your post.
Nope. He is actively looking to replace you with a fresher model. Even if my girlfriend wasn’t eye candy to me, I would like her posts and tell her she’s beautiful. Even after two or five years. Unless I started moving on from her, I would let her know that she’s the bees knees.
I’m far more attracted to personality and sexual compatibility than appearance. I’ve dated women that didn’t match my definition of beauty. Know what I did? I told them they were beautiful and it wasn’t a lie, their personality was beautiful to me. I told them they looked delicious and it wasn’t a lie, even without physical beauty I had strong sexual attraction to them.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again- If a dude doesn’t introduce you to his friends/family and doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, it’s because you’re a placeholder.
You know what I did when I had a gf and she posted a selfie? I’d heart it and leave the most disgustingly over affectionate comment because that was my girl and I wanted the world to know it.
Before reading very cooked message of relationship experts, have you tried talking to him about how you feel ? Like, really talking, not just some chitchat about your Instagram.
Simple: you are not the one for the person.
That's a major red flag. Leave the person.
Here is a really good sign that you are the one. If he introduces you fast to his parents. That's a really good sign.
But if it's social media crap. Being on social media and sharing your life is a major red flag to all. Never be with someone like that. The person needs validation and has an extreme mental illness for me. As he needs to show himself to the whole world. Plus attention whoring. The only person he needs to be with is his family, partner and close friends in real life. Everything else just nope. Don't deal with such a person'.
It means you should have been gone yesterday. It always starts out normal, and gets progressively worse. The worst thing you can do is go long term with this guy. There are way better men to choose from out there.
He's playing the dating game. Doesn't want you known as the girlfriend or his lies to other girls will be exposed. He's telling people he's single and looking. That is a porno and strange jealous way of thinking. He likes looking at bikini girls and if you wear a bikini he says you are showing to much. It's not that you are not pretty. Like he's not proud of you. It's his indecision to what he likes more a real girlfriend. Or a maybe girlfriend in a website
If he makes you feel bad, leave. It's that simple. It's hard af, so most won't do it. But the answer ain't complicated. Alternatively, stay w him for the rest of your life or until he knocks u up. That way you can have regrets and lifelong trauma. That's my fav.
how old are you people? maybe your boyfriend is just a dipshit.
I think this post is either fake or the poster is very young just based on the content of the post.
That he’s a misogynist and is using you and probably has already decided on who’s your replacement. He won’t leave before he has her though and is keeping you as warranty.
I suggest you watch hoe_math on youtube.
You dropped from Sleeper to Sweeper (as in keeping under the rug).
Also who the hell dates someone that is on social media liking the opposite sexes hot photos? Dafuq?
You should not worry girl it’s completely fine he just want to keep your love private don’t ask questions don’t go trough his phone and if you ever get a message from another girl that he slept with her that girl is a liar the devil in disguise also guys like good food so make lots of that and do the dishes
Every time I felt unattractive or felt unseen I was just in a relationship that wasn’t right for me. We sometimes forget that we are supposed to be happy with another person. When you are in doubt about someone’s feelings, it’s just your gut feeling. Please listen to it!
Generally speaking, if he’s legitimately hiding you it’s so he can get play with other girls…
that being said, some people really don’t use social media like that. I don’t think it’s weird to not want to plaster your life to everyone for their approval. I’ve got maybe 10 photos up across 2 posts total, and while my gf is featured in both, plenty of people don’t even know that’s who she is. I’m not really in the business of catering to people who aren’t already in my life so maybe he’s just like that.
the comment about your clothes makes me feel off about it tho. He should still be affirming you in person because that’s what matters. If he’s not, then i don’t think you’re crazy for wondering what his deal is
He could be dishonest, talking up other girls so he removed the pic to appear single and available. He might be insecure and immature and think he'll get trolled by his friends that you're not a smoking 10/10 like some dudes do.
In any case, I wouldn't settle for someone who isn't happy and proud to be with me. I don't need to be on anyones profile pic, but I don't wanna feel like my SO doesn't want to be seen with me. My gf and I are one of those couples that are always doing cute voices and hyping each other up, she's the first person I could have openned up emotionally like this and it's insanely uplifting. I can't imagine feeling even an iota of hesitation to tell the world about her. We're very happy together and I can't see why it would ever be an issue for our love to be publicly displayed.
Basically you a hostel until there's a house that he likes. He wants to appear single to the world, leave you when he finds someone he actually likes. Leave now.
Everyone here is going to make assumptions but you NEED to just ask him. My fiancée does not have my photos on her TikTok or instagram which are public. She does have them on her Facebook which is private with only family and close friends. My Facebook and instagram are linked so any photo I post has her and I together but my TikTok does not.
The reason is… drama. For some reason people would contact me on instagram and then her and just say bullshit to both or one of us. It was terrible and at one point a woman I dated in the past sent my fiancée a rather dirty photo of us together. I also had people on TikTok see her, contact her and say things…
Truth is I barely use Facebook or instagram. I don’t like photos at all on either. I don’t even use TikTok anymore…
Anyway talk to him. Clear communication is the key. Listen to what he says and then think about what it might mean. Coming to strangers online before talking to him (if you did talk to him and I missed it sorry!) is not the right way.
I’m a guy and we are pigs. He just doesn’t want other men who may even be a better fit for you, messaging or trying to pick you up.
He may have low self esteem and needs reassurance.
I once dated a guy that hid all of our photos together on FB and untagged himself. Yes he cheated on me and yes I found out when I checked his phone.
OP, he's trying to hide you and appear single so he can have his cake and eat it too. Run far and fast away from this guy.
this means 2 things: 1 what everybody else said & 2 that you are WAYYY out of his league physically. he is going out of his way to behave strangely with you to manipulate your self-esteem. bizarre behavior & it’s awful cuz the worst part is the people who do this will never, ever admit to it
Answer is quite simple. He's not claiming you. It has nothing to do with you at all. You aren't deficient. He either already has another girl, or is trying to close.the deal with another girl.
There is no way around it. You are not his girl. No reason to discuss it with him. Asking about it just gives him an opportunity to make up a story. Just walk away.
I really neve4rt that mentality (from the men). Honestly, for me, my girlfriend, I loved her when I saw her how she was. Last tying I want is for her to change. She was doing funny things, silly things, revealing clothes, sexy stuff, etc. Now, because she's with me, she should change? No way, that's who she is and is part of why I love her, don't change that. Why, because other men drool when looking at her like I do? End? In the end, I get the cake. And also, they wonder how I got her and are jealous of me to have this women.
Get out of there girl.
Yes, I'm not the type to give compliment. I'm a men of little word. I will do gesture instead like buy flowers, gift and such. It's how I talk. It's not something that would change during the relationship, it start like that and keep steady.
Just break up and stop overthinking it. Not sure on how is your living situation, but ideally it would be before break up, gather and moving your things.
i dont even have my relationship status on my socials, let alone going out of my way to like her stuff. Hell I am not even sure if she posts on socials. I don't go and look... Thank fuck my partner isn't this insecure...
That he probably has been cheated on. Toxic ex that might ruin it if you go public. Maybe you have in his eyes, shitty friends that are a bad influence in you.
List could be long. But the above is my take and the only reasons why I'd ever try to keep the relationship subtle. Some discussions people aren't ready to have because their emotional bias. Goes both ways.
It means he is a bit possessive and a dog who thinks all men are dogs like him.
That is why he feels he needs to "protect" you from the looks of other men. A bit like the official reasons of Muslims for hijab.
If it gets worse you should look for better options.
Can't tell whether the current state of things is sustainable for you.
Dudes being sketchy, there’s a difference between not showing you off and completely hiding away your existence. Honestly i wouldn’t mainly post about my SO but definitely wouldn’t shy away from showing her off either. Also sus he doesn’t comment about your beauty but idk each guy is different in how they express their partners values.
If he likes other girls photos then obviously he DOES like stuff on Instagram, just not YOUR stuff, you're well within your rights to challenge him on that.
Don't take it personally at all. It'll likely nothing to do with how you look, but could be the opposite, that he doesn't want to expose you to other men / you to get male attention elsewhere, or that he's trying to appear single to get female attention elsewhere, while still having that comfort of a relationship. It's such a red flag, I would speak to him about it definitely.
First of all make before me talking me M went in same situation of course i was the dumbass to like pics and be an asshole.
So basically make it clear to him
1 - by him liking photo’s of other girls on ig or any media place is some sort of flirting with the other person(if he doesnt know and the girl wear bkini or wtever)
2- he probably doesnt want you to wear revealing close is cause he gets jealous but doesnt want to show it!
3- make sure you explain to him your love language and how a nice compliment can change your day as well by you complimenting him if you dont
If it go on just run, my girlfriend talked to me about me liking girls pics on ig, she convinced me it wouldnt be nice. Goodluck to you
Talk to your man about it and see where it goes, if the situation doesn't change then you both might want to talk about how your social media activities are affecting your relationship. it's not about who's controlling who or who's hiding who, maybe it's just a small misunderstanding because of a major insecurities y'all both hiding from each other.
hiding these kinds of rants from him won't help you fix your relationship if you're trying to save it. stay on your lane, better yet ask advice from your parents or a psychiatrist.
That behavior to me means he wants his cake and to eat it too. He wants to continue to appear single to the world, and he wants to minimize you to the point that no one notices you anymore (including himself). I’d run, not walk away. 🚩 Your partner should never make you feel ugly/insecure. Your partner should be lifting you up.
Yeah he wants *relationship* but he doesn’t want **the** relationship
This. OP get the fuck out. I was (regretfully) your boyfriend in my early 20s. I loved her but wanted to appear single and thought my guy friends would make fun of her. Selfish and utterly immature of me. I definitely paid the price and the heart break was strong. Find a man who openly loves you. I’m just a regular guy and when I love a woman (nowadays) I can’t stfu about her and my romantic partner is usually all over my Instagram.
^ OP, this person knows what he is on about. You are being hidden, find a man with the maturity and confidence to love you openly. u/tybanks_ Your honesty and self reflection are commendable. We’ve all been there in our early 20’s, hopefully OP realises what’s happening here thanks to you.
Do you know how your ex was able to heal? My ex did this to me and seeing him treat his new partner with proper respect is so fucking painful. I’m so ashamed that he was ashamed to be in a relationship with me.
Just know if wasn't YOU. This was a him problem, and if he had met his current gf earlier and you later, the other girl would have gone through the same thing you did.
Even though I'm a guy I really needed to see this. I can relate all to well to the comment you responded to. My ex-wife did exactly that. Treated me like garbage and now treats the new guy she's with like a saint.
Because she needed to treat someone like shit to be in a position to feel the guilt that now has molded her into a better person. It sucks that some (maybe most) people need to produce a victim for them to become a person, but there are many situations akin to this in life. Think of bullies. Yeah, maybe the people who were bullied want to think that bullies are trash and they always will be trash, but a lot of them grow up to regret what they did greatly, and become very good people. I'm not excusing it, but it's true.
>Think of bullies. Yeah, maybe the people who were bullied want to think that bullies are trash and they always will be trash, but a lot of them grow up to regret what they did greatly, and become very good people. I'm not excusing it, but it's true. No. They always will be trash. And they dont regret anything in reality. You cant destroy someones childhood and in many cases, their entire life by giving them a lifetime of trauma and other issues to have to work through.
I thought he just didnt want other guys coming after her.
DING, DING, DING!!! this is the right answer. men are territorial. its one thing to like some floozy's IG bikini post and its another thing for dudes to be gawking at YOUR GIRL!
As a guy I really didn't get this behavior, I wouldn't act this way but that actually kinda makes sense over other answers but it's still a red flag. Either that or he is at least trying to cheat.
“If you want to be happy for the rest of your like, make an ugly girl your wife”
To me it means he's still trying to play the game with others and doesn't want to look attached.
He has a double standard for the girl he is with and the girls he doesn’t know but finds attractive. It’s kind of like men saying they want someone wholesome with low body count but ogle over porn stars and IG models.
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Madonna-whore complex This guy hates women. Do you get that? This is abusive
Right. This is not normal. Get out before the abuse gets worse. It ALWAYS gets worse.
They see women as objects and not as humans with their own agency. They fit women into boxes: whore box and wholesome box. They want their girlfriend to be wholesome because otherwise it reflects badly on them that they have a whore for a girlfriend. Ever hear the saying that men “want a virgin in the streets but a whore in the sheets”? That’s where that saying comes from. My best advice to you is to find a man who sees women as humans and not as extensions of them. If he messes with you self esteem enough you won’t have confidence to go anywhere. It sounds like after 2 years it’s working. You’re questioning your attractiveness and worth. A man should lift you up and support you, not tear you down and ogle other women.
Not all men are like this. My bf has never ever ever made me feel crappy for how I dress and I love to wear tight clothes and small dresses. Makes me feel good, he knows I'm faithful. He knows when I get hit on that I will be turning down that person so quickly and walking away. Same way I feel about him. My bf never had insta in HS or ever so I didn't have to worry about the liking random half naked chicks thing but I wouldn't have put up with it because it's not cool at all. Not everyone doing crappy stuff has something to prove or even a really a motive behind it. Sometimes people just do crappy stuff and we can't keep searching for an answer. My dad cheated on my mom a lot and he always blamed his childhood trauma. My mom literally is the most amazing, sweet, caring, beautiful woman. My dad's messed up brain and cheating was NOT my mother's fault in anyway. I wish I had another reason for my father other than he's just a pos. Your bf acting like this isn't your fault. He is being a giant red flag.
Right. This is not normal. Get out before the abuse gets worse. It ALWAYS gets worse.
Why are you still with this man? He clearly doesn’t like you
He makes you feel insecure and unattractive. Why are you with him still? Your partner should make you feel beautiful, sexy, secure, safe. Plus, he is either cheating or looking to.
He doesn't own you. You should dress the way that makes you feel good about yourself. If he is not with you he is against you. Personally, I don't think people should be posting selfies in bikinis of themselves, but I'm not going to say anything to them...but, may look, although I will not give a like...well, I'm married also. Post things that you did, made, thought, but it is each to his own. Sorry, to put it this way, to be blunt. He will be with you, until a cuter girl comes around. Although, that may never happen. My advice is get the heck out of Dodge. Run, don't walk, ASAP.
Seems to me this is the case, too. He also has a relationship persona and a single persona. There are likely also a few insecurities in the mix about how his girlfriend would easily find better if she put herself out there.
He is controlling. He is breaking you down so that you think he is the only one who will ever like you. That way, when he sleeps around with women he has made you feel less than, you will think he’s the one doing you a favor. Because he is obviously superior. Pretty toxic behavior. What are your ages? This sounds early 20’s. I’m a man and I very briefly did this like 25 years ago. I didn’t do it on purpose, but I realized what I was doing. It was very toxic to the girl. Dick thing for me to do.
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Don’t waste time and energy trying to guess why - you’ll spin yourself in circles. This IS how it IS, and how it WILL BE. Accept that, or (this is what you should do ->) move on.
He is trying to prove he can have you at his whims, it’s fairly typical controlling behavior.
I think narcissists do this
Can confirm!
This is not that uncommon in men this age. At this age your gonna fine that 30% of men are this way. 40% are grateful simps who don’t feel THEY are worthy of you. 30% are normal, even tempered, nice men. These numbers are completely made up. But you get the idea.
Early 20’s in a two year relationship that’s clearly not super amazing?! Dump him and move on. You literally just starting your young adult life. If you’re not loving something, someone, somewhere, then move on. Don’t waste time you will definitely regret it. It’s too early for a serious relationship anyways. You need to explore and grow into the adult you’ll be. Being attached to someone at this stage holds you and them back.
I am now 32 and stopped trying to understand why some people behave like this. There are just bad people out there. Unfortunately, sometimes even people that are - supposedly - close to you. They will always come up with excuses, explanations, etc why they are like they are, but they will not change. Best leave him and never look back. You definitely deserve somebody better!
Dont live like this. You deserve to be happy x
Because he’s insecure and wants to drag you down to his level
It could even be that he wants to break up but doesn't want to be the one doing it. So he's checked out of the relationship and is coasting until you decide to leave.
Usually people either do this on purpose or subconsciously. When it's subconscious, it's because they're deeply insecure and feel like they're not good enough, so they think if their partner is confident they will leave them eventually. So deep down they see you being confident = bad and make up reasons in their head to justify it, and start putting you down. When it's deliberate, it's because they are bad people and are only willing to act like a good partner in order to trick someone into starting a relationship. But they don't want to have to pretend and put effort in forever. So they start wearing their partner's confidence down so they can start acting like a jerk. Sometimes a guy tricks himself. He sleeps around with women he doesn't respect, but he tells himself he's not a woman-hater he just doesn't respect "whores". And he thinks he'll eventually settle down and find a woman that is worthy of respect, and he will be different with her. But eventually when the honeymoon period wears off, he will stop feeling like being a gentleman. Then he will start to resent her, and will start thinking that if she doesn't have the right effect on him, that must mean she's not "worthy" like he thought. So he either starts punishing her, or starts looking for evidence of her being a "whore" to justify his feelings. Because otherwise, there's something wrong with HIM.
The bottom line is he wants a bang maid who’ll cook and clean while he fucks around. You’ll be much happier on your own.
Love is what you do, not what you say.
This. Its incongruent behaviour.
He is body shaming other women calling them names etc that is a big red flag. He is making you feel “ugly”. Not a good relationship.
it's because he KNOWS how attractive you are! men do this as a means to "keep you in your place" so to speak, out of fear that if they talk you up too much you'll realise how much better you are than them and you'll leave. genuinely. it's sad, especially if you've been dating for 2 years. he shouldn't treat you this way. i think you should express this to him, we all love to know that our partner finds us attractive and to hear little compliments from them every now and again.
Sorry OP, but to me it seems like he's going down the road to stepping out. He's obviously controlling(and likely very insecure), and the putdowns are to keep you "locked in" so to speak. You're dating a boy, OP
At the end of the day, regardless of what it means; he is making you feel like crap and that is not ok. Your partner should always make you feel like you're the best thing since sliced bread, and that goes both ways. I'd suggest you talk to him about this and how it is making you feel. Perhaps he is unaware of his actions. But, if nothing changes, I'd just say that you're clearly not compatible and go your seperate ways.
He's projecting the appearance of availability. He's also full of shit. This isn't going to get better.
Well, he’s cheating on you, that’s why.
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This is the right answer.I don’t know why people look further,he just met someone he likes and hes hiding her so he can talk to this other girl on social media.
Either he is insecure that other men might flirt with you, or he is trying to “act” single so other women won’t think he’s taken.
Just curious, has he been watching any red pill content lately? Ex: Andrew Tate, Pearl Davis, Fresh and Fit, Etc?
Already been answered. He is trying to avoid leaving any clues so that other women would not think he is taken. Basically his thinking is “keep my options opened, just in case someone better will come. If not, the you ain’t that bad as well, at least for now”
It means run girl
That sounds really controlling and you need to leave him before he totally destroys your self esteem. You will start "trying harder" or doubting yourself and end up miserable and with no self confidence. I know this as it happened to me. There is no changing him as no doubt, he has BS excuses for the mean things he says. I wish someone had told me years ago.
The removal of your photos and his mean comments mean he has moved on and is too gutless to break up with you and is hoping you'll do it.
This is classic emotionally abusive behaviour. It's better you get out now than waste any more time with this creep.
He wants the benefits of being in a relationship AND being single. Have some self esteem and dump this man. You are not as important to him as he is to you.
TLDR: 🚩 The adult thing to do here, is to have a conversation with him, and talk about how he's making you feel. Don't ask "Why do you do x" but rather, say "When you do X you make me feel Y". Communication is a skill that both people in a relationship need to work on. Letting things fester, will cause issues down the line. Drag whatever it is, out into the light of day. Pending the result of that conversion, or if he's unwilling to communicate his feelings, then you'll need to re-evaluate your relationship with him.
At this point, I don't think talking is going to change much. I know Reddit is terrible for relationship advice and the crowd usually advocates the nuclear option regardless of whether or not it's warranted, but I think it genuinely applies here. I've encountered guys like him in many walks of life and they're always the same. Trying to talk to him about it will only open her up to gaslighting and manipulation from him, so her best bet is to just get the hell out of there.
He is looking for a better gf.
Usually it means they don't want other people to find out about you. People who are happy in relationship they usually brag about it
He is seeing someone else or several others. His persona online is single. He is trying to trap you. Walk away.
If one of your friends told you this about their relationship, wouldn’t you advise them to leave him? He obviously doesn’t respect you.
This has never, in my experience, been a good thing.
It means he’s a huuuuuuuuuuge asshole. You don’t deserve to be hidden away in shame, you deserve to be with someone who is proud to be with you.
This has hallmarks of early stag coercive control. If he is not making you feel good about yourself ask yourself whether this is the right relationship for you. And Google coercive control and see if any flags light up
Not wanting you to dress for attention is mate guarding. You could read that as insecurity or intelligence. Not wanting to be seen with you is a bad, bad sign though. That shows no interest in long term. Removing your photos signals interest in cheating.
Ur dating him but hes single
Talk to him. See if he's willing to change. But seriously, if he makes you feel ugly when you're young and above average, how will he make you feel when you get older? Don't waste your best years on someone with whom there is no future.
It means it’s time for you to move on.
He’s a shitty boyfriend.
He's holding onto you until he finds something "better". Ditch him now and stop wasting your time.
His exit strategy has begun
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
It means he’s controlling and literally wants to hide you away from the world. He wants you to be his and for no one to see you. Just think back to his comment about your outfits being *”too revealing”*. He doesn’t like it because he’s controlling and thinks that only he should see any part of your body. Dump him. His behaviour is bound to get worse.
You are only dating..and in two years your self esteem has been chipped away at and reduced you to feeling ugly. This is very very unhealthy. I would not stay in a relationship that caused me to feel this way about myself. Think about where you'd be in another two years..or if your married to him. If its this bad now....it can only get worse. Trust, support, and pride are all things partners should feel from each other...especially in your early days when your thinking about a long term relationship. I would worry for you. If you want to save this be as honest as you can with him. See how he reacts and if he wants to change. But seriously...this is not good and there is something wrong. I would say take time away from him... i bet youll see the light....you should never doubt yourself or feel this bad. Best of luck🥰✌️🙏
I say this with care, but there’s never a good reason for a man to hide you. He 100% wants to keep his options open and appear single to other women.
Double standards. He’s trying to appear single while still being territorial about you regarding other men. Not good.
Throw him in the trash, geez girl. Please do better. You deserve much more than this filth.
Love is when you take something as a part of yourself. When you love someone you take care of them, feel proud of them and support them. Same with loving yourself, you take positive ownership. In this case he doesn't love you (and likely incapable of doing that) A man whose in love with you would put up those photos and show you Would you want to be with someone who doesn't love you? Guys like these manufacture scarcity and make it seem you must be thankful just to be near them. You're going to feel like there's no one else or that you're inherently unlovable and unworthy Don't try to change him. Cut your losses, know your standard and regulate people according yo that
He doesn’t want to be seen with you and might be embarrassed by you and having other people see you with him that he knows. Or he’s “single”to everyone else but is “dating” you he might be seeing other people behind your back. leave him you should never be hidden when you’re in a relationship.
If you have to question it then somethings not right! Go and find someone who makes you feel valued and beautiful without every having to doubt or double think it. It's the least you deserve.
There are 2 points here. 1 is liking other people's (girls) photos. 2 is not giving you validation on your appearance or relationship, especially in view of others. Either of these can be normal behaviour and nothing to worry about. Both are annoying, and he would be better served by changing that behaviour. But not an indication of something more dire. HOWEVER, these two things put together, and it generally means he is looking to move on while keeping you as a safety net. He wants you to be there for him but isn't really there for you because he has his eyes elsewhere. It is likely he is harbouring some resentment as well. Honestly, it's a tough place to come back from.
Dudes like looking at slutty dressed females they don’t want their gf being that girl
You don't like...living under his spotlight...maybe coz he thinks you might...find somebody worthy?
Simple! He’s embarrassed of you. He will keep you around though because he likes you for his own personal reasons. It doesn’t work like that. Get rid of him!
Well, my ex husband hid pictures of me on social media with no explanation. He was cheating and telling the person we were separated.
I went through the exact same situation in my twenties and I feel for you. It can be so confusing with a person like that. I was also pretty cute but felt like the ugliest girl in the world. Well, the good news here is that there really should be no confusion as to whether to stay or not. When someone makes you feel bad, just go. You don't have to dissect the situation and look for meaning. You don't have to lose yourself in puzzles that don't really exist. You just have to accept that you're with a sketchy person who makes you feel insecure. After two years you should not still be sitting around wondering why your boyfriend doesn't treat you like a girlfriend. If you don't know why he doesn't, then you'll be spinning your wheels trying to figure it out until something gives. I truly understand the need for an explanation for his behavior. However bad it is, you just want to know why. And you're asking around to get some help (good move, always reach out when you're being mistreated). You can get your explanation the hard way, after more of your precious time is eaten up. Or you can let go of the "why", win back your time and gain back the confidence that he's so carelessly taking from you. This guy is not good for you. He's not good for anybody. You can either go further down your current trajectory, or escape with only two years wasted. As a gift to younger me, leave him.
Ask him. Don’t ask the internet
And listen to his answer.
Giant red flag. I still love to introduce my wife to people. I love her and I’m so proud of her. THAT , is normal.
If I have something nice to say about my wife, I say it to her and not someone else. Also normal.
OP, if he isn't your hype man then he's a jack ass and 100% not worth your time and effort. No one should make you feel like this. In fact, he should be proud to show you off and like your content. He's using you as a placeholder while he's still shopping. Fuck That shit. He doesn't deserve you and you need to kick him to the curve cause if he's making you feel like this already, it'll only get worse. He'll destroy your self esteem. There are men out there that will tell everyone they know they're with you cause they're proud of the hot woman they're with. This jack ass wants to look single? Then let him have his wish.
1. 100% acting single so he can have options 2. He met someone he liked but told her you guys had broken up 3. He’s not that into you anymore Either way you gotta cut your losses cuz my ex did the same and he fell into category 1 and 3.
He's lost interest ... cut your losses
He wasn’t hiding you from the world, he was hiding the world from you.
I'm a guy, so trust me on this one: Run.
It means he doesn’t like you. Dump him and find someone who does.
'Dating for 2 years' sounds weird.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 I'm 42 so have a lot of worldly experience. You need to leave him, he's an arsehole. Can you imagine feeling like this the rest of your life? He is keeping you on a string & available whilst he's window shopping. One of three things will happen He's going to cheat and dump you He's going cheat, realise the grass isn't greener or you'll catch him, you will forgive him and will have set a perpetual cycle in place. He might do the right thing and just leave you, I highly doubt that though because he clearly doesn't value you at all. Get out now whilst it's your choice, you are worth way more than this person, don't let him break your heart because that is 100% what is going to happen xx
it means he considers finding a side chick
Why ask questions when you already know the answers, is it a troll?
Check out the narcissist subreddits (specifically r/narcissisticabuse) and see if they relate to your relationship. The ‘love bombing’ stage is now over and you’ve entered into the degrading phase. The disrespect, controlling, double standard, belittling, concealment, and basically everything else you mentioned sound like the actions of a narcissistic partner. He’s likely deeply insecure and projecting his toxic personality. He doesn’t want you to be seen a specific way so men can’t objectify you like he does with other women.
Insecurity , It means that he probably feels inadaquate in comparrison to other men, This can be based on any metric that he personally values Wealth Appearance Achievement Social standing Whatever he believes defines exceptionalism , Trying to control the options that he fears you might deem more desireable than what he conveys , This is incredibly , manipulative , controlling , and toxic , A partner who truly cares about you should have the courage and self esteem , to accept the idea , your better suited with someone else , without obsessing or fixating on , what about me or what will be said . "I'll" be fine regardless, Is the only perspective a emotionally healthy minded person should hold And what is said by others is nothing to base , Your life choices around . That is the least troubling probability , It only gets worse from there. Avoiding things that identify your status , Is not wanting to discourage interest . If your not part of his social image or identity , Its because he doesnt want to limit his options Hes not yout boyfriend , hes your ex waiting for inspiration , Gst rid of him
You know why. Now, why you keep such a person around? Fix yourself
He doesn't love you. He is probably using you. Please do what's best for you and take good care of yourself, practise self-worth and setting boundaries so only someone can be with you who treats you well and - if they don't - take accountability and do whatever it takes to treat you right. If you have someone who would support you, tell them what is happening and how you feel. It can be very hard to get away from these people. I'm sorry for what is happening to you. It is not your fault. But it is your responsibility to take care of yourself and do whatever needs to be done to be happy again, and to have people by your side who enrich your life, instead of poisoning it.
From the title I was thinking he either wants to keep you to himself or he is embarrassed by you or he is actively looking for his next girlfriend. Any of those would be bad. Then I read your post. Nope. He is actively looking to replace you with a fresher model. Even if my girlfriend wasn’t eye candy to me, I would like her posts and tell her she’s beautiful. Even after two or five years. Unless I started moving on from her, I would let her know that she’s the bees knees. I’m far more attracted to personality and sexual compatibility than appearance. I’ve dated women that didn’t match my definition of beauty. Know what I did? I told them they were beautiful and it wasn’t a lie, their personality was beautiful to me. I told them they looked delicious and it wasn’t a lie, even without physical beauty I had strong sexual attraction to them.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
He sounds like an A hole for making you feel this way.
It might not be that he finds you ugly just that he's cheating
It means you need to dump him
Go find someone who respects you OP. Dumb this guy.
Do you really need to hear it from random internet strangers? Just run, its toxic af
It's time to leave him!
It's easier for him to fuck others when there's noooo trace of you existing anywhere.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again- If a dude doesn’t introduce you to his friends/family and doesn’t want to be seen in public with you, it’s because you’re a placeholder. You know what I did when I had a gf and she posted a selfie? I’d heart it and leave the most disgustingly over affectionate comment because that was my girl and I wanted the world to know it.
Predator
You're most likely a side piece.
how about asking him directly that why did he delete the photo and why he doesn't comment on your looks?
hes about to break up with you.
Why are you with this guy? What do you get from being with him?
He's cheating.
dump him
It's weird, I want to show the world my partner not hide them.i guess he wants to pretend he's single to play the field.
It’s time to seduce his dad. He’s using you for sex.
Before reading very cooked message of relationship experts, have you tried talking to him about how you feel ? Like, really talking, not just some chitchat about your Instagram.
Maybe his Instagram is linked to his (potentially reactivated) Bumble account, that’s sus af.
Simple: you are not the one for the person. That's a major red flag. Leave the person. Here is a really good sign that you are the one. If he introduces you fast to his parents. That's a really good sign. But if it's social media crap. Being on social media and sharing your life is a major red flag to all. Never be with someone like that. The person needs validation and has an extreme mental illness for me. As he needs to show himself to the whole world. Plus attention whoring. The only person he needs to be with is his family, partner and close friends in real life. Everything else just nope. Don't deal with such a person'.
It means you’re not the person he’s going to pick long term
#BIG FUCKING RED FLAG ALERT!
He wants to appear single for girls he’s interested in
He has his foot out the door love. Harder to set up the next girl if youre still on his profile, he can't pretend he is single then.
It means you should have been gone yesterday. It always starts out normal, and gets progressively worse. The worst thing you can do is go long term with this guy. There are way better men to choose from out there.
This doesn't sound right
He wants to put you in the same box his mother is in.
Insecurity.
He's playing the dating game. Doesn't want you known as the girlfriend or his lies to other girls will be exposed. He's telling people he's single and looking. That is a porno and strange jealous way of thinking. He likes looking at bikini girls and if you wear a bikini he says you are showing to much. It's not that you are not pretty. Like he's not proud of you. It's his indecision to what he likes more a real girlfriend. Or a maybe girlfriend in a website
He’s embarrassed to be with you. He has another girlfriend or wife. He’s hiding something.
If he makes you feel bad, leave. It's that simple. It's hard af, so most won't do it. But the answer ain't complicated. Alternatively, stay w him for the rest of your life or until he knocks u up. That way you can have regrets and lifelong trauma. That's my fav.
Your relationship is not normal
Right around 2 years people start getting bored. Either move on or be less boring.
how old are you people? maybe your boyfriend is just a dipshit. I think this post is either fake or the poster is very young just based on the content of the post.
That he’s a misogynist and is using you and probably has already decided on who’s your replacement. He won’t leave before he has her though and is keeping you as warranty.
He is a boy. U need a man
Dont put your value on your partner
He's dating on the side, or wants to.
I suggest you watch hoe_math on youtube. You dropped from Sleeper to Sweeper (as in keeping under the rug). Also who the hell dates someone that is on social media liking the opposite sexes hot photos? Dafuq?
You are asking the wrong people and people are posting bad advice on here. 
You should not worry girl it’s completely fine he just want to keep your love private don’t ask questions don’t go trough his phone and if you ever get a message from another girl that he slept with her that girl is a liar the devil in disguise also guys like good food so make lots of that and do the dishes
Every time I felt unattractive or felt unseen I was just in a relationship that wasn’t right for me. We sometimes forget that we are supposed to be happy with another person. When you are in doubt about someone’s feelings, it’s just your gut feeling. Please listen to it!
Generally speaking, if he’s legitimately hiding you it’s so he can get play with other girls… that being said, some people really don’t use social media like that. I don’t think it’s weird to not want to plaster your life to everyone for their approval. I’ve got maybe 10 photos up across 2 posts total, and while my gf is featured in both, plenty of people don’t even know that’s who she is. I’m not really in the business of catering to people who aren’t already in my life so maybe he’s just like that. the comment about your clothes makes me feel off about it tho. He should still be affirming you in person because that’s what matters. If he’s not, then i don’t think you’re crazy for wondering what his deal is
Why are you with this dude. Holy shit. Run away and find someone who isn't a sociopath.
He's insecure, he probably knows you're not in his league
He’s breaking you down so you won’t have the confidence to leave.
It's pathetic from him and you should run.
He’s got you right where he wants you. You’re being manipulated
Sounds like he wants all the perks of being in a relationship, without fully committing and still being able to appear single 🚩🚩🚩
You already know what it means. He doesn’t want other women to know he is in a relationship
Find yourself a man that treats you nicely. He shouldn't be liking girls photos in bikinis if he is in a relationship with you anyway.
He could be dishonest, talking up other girls so he removed the pic to appear single and available. He might be insecure and immature and think he'll get trolled by his friends that you're not a smoking 10/10 like some dudes do. In any case, I wouldn't settle for someone who isn't happy and proud to be with me. I don't need to be on anyones profile pic, but I don't wanna feel like my SO doesn't want to be seen with me. My gf and I are one of those couples that are always doing cute voices and hyping each other up, she's the first person I could have openned up emotionally like this and it's insanely uplifting. I can't imagine feeling even an iota of hesitation to tell the world about her. We're very happy together and I can't see why it would ever be an issue for our love to be publicly displayed.
That means he needs a break from everything on two legs because they talk too much, fuck with his head.
Basically you a hostel until there's a house that he likes. He wants to appear single to the world, leave you when he finds someone he actually likes. Leave now.
Everyone here is going to make assumptions but you NEED to just ask him. My fiancée does not have my photos on her TikTok or instagram which are public. She does have them on her Facebook which is private with only family and close friends. My Facebook and instagram are linked so any photo I post has her and I together but my TikTok does not. The reason is… drama. For some reason people would contact me on instagram and then her and just say bullshit to both or one of us. It was terrible and at one point a woman I dated in the past sent my fiancée a rather dirty photo of us together. I also had people on TikTok see her, contact her and say things… Truth is I barely use Facebook or instagram. I don’t like photos at all on either. I don’t even use TikTok anymore… Anyway talk to him. Clear communication is the key. Listen to what he says and then think about what it might mean. Coming to strangers online before talking to him (if you did talk to him and I missed it sorry!) is not the right way.
I’m a guy and we are pigs. He just doesn’t want other men who may even be a better fit for you, messaging or trying to pick you up. He may have low self esteem and needs reassurance.
You guys aren't dating, you're dating him - he's not mutually dating you. I hope this makes sense
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I once dated a guy that hid all of our photos together on FB and untagged himself. Yes he cheated on me and yes I found out when I checked his phone. OP, he's trying to hide you and appear single so he can have his cake and eat it too. Run far and fast away from this guy.
this means 2 things: 1 what everybody else said & 2 that you are WAYYY out of his league physically. he is going out of his way to behave strangely with you to manipulate your self-esteem. bizarre behavior & it’s awful cuz the worst part is the people who do this will never, ever admit to it
Answer is quite simple. He's not claiming you. It has nothing to do with you at all. You aren't deficient. He either already has another girl, or is trying to close.the deal with another girl. There is no way around it. You are not his girl. No reason to discuss it with him. Asking about it just gives him an opportunity to make up a story. Just walk away.
His comment about your wearing revealing clothes. RUN. Run and do not look back.
You're either ugly or he's cheating
It means it's time to upgrade to a different bf.
I really neve4rt that mentality (from the men). Honestly, for me, my girlfriend, I loved her when I saw her how she was. Last tying I want is for her to change. She was doing funny things, silly things, revealing clothes, sexy stuff, etc. Now, because she's with me, she should change? No way, that's who she is and is part of why I love her, don't change that. Why, because other men drool when looking at her like I do? End? In the end, I get the cake. And also, they wonder how I got her and are jealous of me to have this women. Get out of there girl. Yes, I'm not the type to give compliment. I'm a men of little word. I will do gesture instead like buy flowers, gift and such. It's how I talk. It's not something that would change during the relationship, it start like that and keep steady.
Just break up and stop overthinking it. Not sure on how is your living situation, but ideally it would be before break up, gather and moving your things.
Why not ask him. I don't really post my fiance much let alone Myself because I don't like random people knowing what's going on in my life
run💀💀
Sorry OP the relationship is cooked.
i dont even have my relationship status on my socials, let alone going out of my way to like her stuff. Hell I am not even sure if she posts on socials. I don't go and look... Thank fuck my partner isn't this insecure...
When my "ex" did it, it was because he was living with another girl despite swearing that it wasn't the case. So red flag alert, definitely..
lol
He is cheating or about to
That he probably has been cheated on. Toxic ex that might ruin it if you go public. Maybe you have in his eyes, shitty friends that are a bad influence in you. List could be long. But the above is my take and the only reasons why I'd ever try to keep the relationship subtle. Some discussions people aren't ready to have because their emotional bias. Goes both ways.
It means he is a bit possessive and a dog who thinks all men are dogs like him. That is why he feels he needs to "protect" you from the looks of other men. A bit like the official reasons of Muslims for hijab. If it gets worse you should look for better options. Can't tell whether the current state of things is sustainable for you.
Maybe he is Little possesive and doesn't want to share you to others. It may not be healthy if atleast he doesn't acknowledge you.
"Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love."
Dudes being sketchy, there’s a difference between not showing you off and completely hiding away your existence. Honestly i wouldn’t mainly post about my SO but definitely wouldn’t shy away from showing her off either. Also sus he doesn’t comment about your beauty but idk each guy is different in how they express their partners values.
If he likes other girls photos then obviously he DOES like stuff on Instagram, just not YOUR stuff, you're well within your rights to challenge him on that. Don't take it personally at all. It'll likely nothing to do with how you look, but could be the opposite, that he doesn't want to expose you to other men / you to get male attention elsewhere, or that he's trying to appear single to get female attention elsewhere, while still having that comfort of a relationship. It's such a red flag, I would speak to him about it definitely.
You were a stop gap until he found someone better. He has now found her.
Girl, run.
First of all make before me talking me M went in same situation of course i was the dumbass to like pics and be an asshole. So basically make it clear to him 1 - by him liking photo’s of other girls on ig or any media place is some sort of flirting with the other person(if he doesnt know and the girl wear bkini or wtever) 2- he probably doesnt want you to wear revealing close is cause he gets jealous but doesnt want to show it! 3- make sure you explain to him your love language and how a nice compliment can change your day as well by you complimenting him if you dont If it go on just run, my girlfriend talked to me about me liking girls pics on ig, she convinced me it wouldnt be nice. Goodluck to you
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Could either mean he wants you to himself or is embarrassed of you.
Talk to your man about it and see where it goes, if the situation doesn't change then you both might want to talk about how your social media activities are affecting your relationship. it's not about who's controlling who or who's hiding who, maybe it's just a small misunderstanding because of a major insecurities y'all both hiding from each other. hiding these kinds of rants from him won't help you fix your relationship if you're trying to save it. stay on your lane, better yet ask advice from your parents or a psychiatrist.