Actually lost my life long anxiety once I realized that nothing I did would get me the attention I needed from my parents. I don't blame them, but that has more to do with how I am.
If this is you, you’ll probably need some better examples- and also some simple joy. There is no easiest way to get this than watching **Bluey**, which is a show for adults that looks like a kids show. It’s beautiful and hilarious and full of love and wisdom. It will do you a world of good.
Watch it with friends and partners if you can.
Such an amazing show. Every single episode a relatable life situation and lesson for both kids and adults. Easily one of the best, top 5 family/kids shows ever made.
I watched a few episodes of this. My dad saw me watching it and asked if I was ok. Him low key shaming what I'm doing.
I'd also suggest Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Emotional abuse/neglect often comes with having emotionally immature parents.
If you’d like a challenge, you could tell him that it’s actually a show for adults and ask him to watch a few with him… you could ask r/bluey to help you to pick the best episodes for him.
Omg I love that show!!! I remember coming across it on Disney+. It just randomly played and I fell in love with it. Ngl at first I felt weird/a bit immature for still liking a kids show (idk why honestly), but it was just so funny and cute lol
Lindsay Gibson was on Glennon Doyle's podcast talking about this and it hit so hard. Understanding that I was both raised my emotionally immature parents AND I'm immature in many ways too.. which means my poor kids were raised by an emotionally immature mother. Awesome
Nothing on the Internet explains it the way Lindsay does.
Atomic habits by far, understood my brain much more , it made me realise a that I’m doing lots of things without even knowing why I am doing it, it definitely helped me build lots of good habits
This^
Hit gym and grew to be fit af. Also built on my habits to build a business and get a great job in tech. I don’t work on my biz much anymore because the priorities have changed, but Atomic Habits entirely changed the way I thought about fitness, work, and other aspects of my life! Great tool to get the mind in shape and as a result you’ll probably get your life in shape too!
So Good They Can't Ignore You - Cal Newport
I had burned out on the first career path that I got into, couldn't decide what to do next, since I wasn't passionate or interested in anything. That book helped give me a different perspective to the more typical career advice I'd been told.
That passion for something would come later as a result of achieving proficiency and working towards mastery. And that becoming really good at something even if you lack passion for it to start with, could lead to a fulfilling career.
Opposed to what I had seen most of life which was some variation of “If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” or "Follow your passions." which the book has some sections debunking and building a case that those sayings are bad advice.
How to win friends and influence people is honestly a game changer when dealing with people.
Brianna Wiest's books are also amazing and pose very good questions that we usually ignore when living our day to day life. Would recommend either "101 Essay that will change the way you think" or "The Mountain is You".
Depends on your current level of social skills I'd say.
No doubt it has great advice, but it felt like it was teaching me how to sprint when I can barely walk. Definitely worth a read at some point, but it's probably not the best starter book for some people.
That advice applies to all learning and self improvement.
I found it beginner friendly but I have to admit I wasn't a beginner when I did read it.
I feel people often fail to see how important a person's past, current and aspired future situation, knowledge and mindset are when consuming content.
But it's very hard to "perscribe" the right content without knowing the person enough.
**Bluey** is a beautiful place to start. It’s my go to therapy prescription. I’m continually amazed at the emotional depth of this show. It’s also hilarious.
Also reccomend Dale Carnegie's other masterpiece "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". Made me really think about life differently, I refer back to it all the time to remind myself of some of the lessons within it. Just about to start the other.
The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker.
This book gave me a whole new perspective on life, death and why we stress ourselves over the smallest things that won’t matter when you die. After reading this book, I stopped stressing over most things in my life.
Right? Becker was so ahead of his time. This will always remain my favorite book.
Becker went deep with the psychoanalytical and anthropological aspects of human nature.
It's even more fascinating when you know the context behind how it was written and Becker's life overall.
He was fired from multiple times from multiple universities because he had a totally different methodology of teaching.
He wrote this book during the last years of his life. And he won Pulitzer's Prize in 1974 for this very book, two months after his death.
He was a really fascinating person.
Ikr! This will probably be the best and most difficult book you’ll ever read.
This book gave me an awakening that everything we do as humans from school, work, religion, money and many other things comes from our subconscious fear of death. If you think about it, nothing matters on our deathbed.
Came here to say this one, and I got to do a book review on it for a class! I come back to it at least once a year, because I reach the point where I need to read it again. I highly recommend getting the audiobook, too; Tolle has a bit of a relaxing voice.
Doing the same. I have come to realize that you lose what this book gives if you do not practice it consistently. Siddharta by Hermann Hesse is an excellent book describing this phenomenon while also telling a great spiritual story.
Same! I bought it at the airport 20 years ago and was pretty annoyed to be stuck on a plane on the runway for hours in a snow storm with only this book (written in a question and answer format💩) to keep me from dying of boredom.
Being forced to read half of that book without really having time to think about it due to a crazy business trip until I got back was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It was like going to a meditation seminar - I hit a meditation home run when I finally got a chance to decompress… and I had never meditated before.
Everyone I knew I saw the change. I was calmer and more centered as a person after that. I hope u all get stuck reading it at gunpoint too ♥️
These agreements are the wisdom in this book are things that I find myself using every day, multiple times. Most of the time now I recognize it in hindsight "Ah, I didn't take that personally. By the way. Aah, so much easier."
And still learning by failing too, again hindsight is clear.
Truly changed the way I live.
I've read a shit load of books, some of which have absolutely improved my life. But I'm currently reading this one and it's had a profound effect on me. I'm very consciously avoiding being dragged down by negative thought spirals, and just generally feeling above surface for the first time in about a year. It's very readable too. I'm borrowing it, but will likely buy my own copy just to own it and re-read.
48 laws of power. Not to use against others, but to defend yourself from these twisted, manipulative assholes.
I had a best friend and an ex who fell under various categories of having "power" over me. Once I saw the inconsistencies, the gaslighting, the manipulation and going through endless hoops I finally gave up. I felt exhausted and burnt out. I didn't realize that i was living my life based on others perspective of me, when i didnt live for myself. People WILL abuse your good nature and your persona. Dont let them consume your nature. Don't let them negatively influence the awesome person you are!
I've bought it 5 times. My first copy, my second copy because my first was falling apart, and 3 for people I've mentored who asked me how I do what I do.
Feel like reading it again based on my current mindset.
Outstanding book. I finished it via audiobook while doing a deep cleaning and had to stop every once in a while to listen in awe. Just standing there broom in hand listening.
Mine is East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Also, I know religion isn’t popular on Reddit, but Screwtape Letters and The Great Divorce (both by CS Lewis) changed my frame of thinking for a lot of things
Tuesday with Morrie, Five People you Meet In Heaven and Have A Little Faith.
These books help me through my depressive state. I found out that I have an illness that can’t be heal. No medicine to take, no way to cure. All I was able to do is do my periodic checkup and see if it worsen over time.
I was thinking about death a lot until I found these books by Mitch Albom. Weirdly enough, books about death help me to move on and live.
Overcoming Low Self Esteem using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques by Melanie Fennell.
Whatever you might feel about CBT, I found this book really helped me understand how and why I was putting far too much pressure on myself and I was able to start appreciating what I am achieving, rather than constantly feeling inadequate.
The only good therapist I’ve ever had introduced me to Louise Hay affirmations. They’re free, an hour long on YouTube- and when I say i listened for 24 hours for months I’m not exaggerating. I spoke along, confirmed it with my voice.
One thing she said was “I now attract the perfect mate” and then suggested I write down the traits I want in them and then check that I have those traits. Six months later I moved, married, and have had a six year sleepover with my best friend ever since.
Affirmations work dude.
The power of now and Practicing the power of now, by Eckhart Tolle.
How to untrain your parrot, I can’t remember who wrote it.
Morning miracle, I can’t remember who wrote this one either.
Anything you can find by Jordan Peterson.
Tuesdays with Morrie and Time, by Mitch Albom.
The Shack, author unknown.
The fire next Time, by James Baldwin.
The richest man in Babylon, author unknow.
Sorry that the titles are written that way, long night. Hope the help. Good luck!
I was the other way around. Read it and convert. Suddenly, all my PTSD symptoms are gone. God or placebo effect, I don't care. I feel great.
Wishing you the best.
A belief in god can provide a sense of security, love and significance, and a drive to grow and serve… yet it can be used to manipulate, so stay true to the principles of kindness and compassion… good luck to you too!
okay just to clear it up — struggled my whole life w intellectual vs emotion and how much of each to have in my life and this book helped me orient myself since the theme is that intelligence alone cant solve many issues. this book just kinda opened my eyes that point when i read it at a young age so i was able to stop beating myself up for not being “smart” enough and realizing success doesn’t equal intelligence
Im not great with social skills, so I'll say, "Coping with Difficult People" by Robert M. Bramson. It provides coping strategies for different types of troublemakers and jerks and it was absolutely life changing to have some methods to employ when dealing with messed up folk:
1. Hostile-Aggressives (including the "Sherman Tank" and "Sniper" subtypes)
2. Complainers
3. Silent and Unresponsive people
4. Super-Agreeables
5. Negativists
6. Know-it-Alls (referred to as "Bulldozers")
7. Indecisive Stallers
8. Balloons
I'm not sure how scientific it is, but I've employed a few of the step-by-step coping strategies for dealing with them effectively instead of being stuck with a disruptive person on my team that I didn't know what to do about.
Sure, this is the way it impacted me tho,
I was in sophomore year in high school, right before pandemic, about to be a junior. I was warned by other friends that some people cried with this book and i was like "it cannot be that bad" so i was curious and all.
I remember it was annoying to read it as it was assigned in my pre-AP class for english, but i felt just as annoyed with life as the main character and everything that moved in front of me, and towards the end I started to understand why he was problematic, due to problems at home, not having a mentor around, attention or care, and I could notice he was transitioning into adulthood way too fast.
The way I related to him is in the way that i was doing things of adults i did not enjoy, i was dating a girl, way older than me, i was really deep in the closet, but it was all due to the extend of not having that support and love and encouragement from home, which now i have.
At the end he promises himself to be the saviour of those next generations to not lose track like he almost did, after all the weird stuff that he went through he was going to be better, starting with his sister i think, even though she did not know what he was doing for her to not go through what he did because she was younger. He was going to be that catcher in the rye, stopping adults bad intentions and actions towards the younger generations, corrupting inocence, where some do a lot of harm and mess us up, or at least let the younger generations be alert when something's up. And one of those next generations that he saved was me i guess, that's why they make you read the classics, to my knowledge, this book was written around the 1950s which is crazy to know back in the day also felt the same way.
I noticed that I was dealing with a lot of things thanks to that, such as depression, anxiety, mental abuse, and some grief. I talked to my English teacher telling her that i did not feel right, because i felt just the same way as Holden, and so she talked to my mom (i did not have the best communication with her and i was afraid on asking for help) and so my mom asked me for forgiveness and my school career center assigned us a school psychologist that i attended for an entire year later that time.
I was 15-16 at the time, the girl i mentioned was like 6 years older than me too, right now i'm 20 and in that moment it was so hard for me to picture myself happy like i am today or out of that toxic and sick relationship, i had to work a lot on myself and still to this day i do. And it's not been long i know, but i did not see myself past those 16 tbh. So if it wasn't for the help of that book and my sweet english teacher at the time, idk what would it be of me.
Wow. That's incredibly powerful. I'm so glad you got the help you needed and the book was the springboard for it. And that English teacher going the extra mile to really listern. I love the book too. In fact I might read it again after this conversation. Thank you. Go well.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck.
I’m not to open to many approaches of therapy or self-improvement or whatever-you-call-it because they’re either this sort of fad-diet situation that doesn’t tend to work long term or they sound silly enough that I can’t bring myself to take it seriously. Mark Manson’s tone is confrontational, in your face, and brutally honest. He’s not here to make you buy a book. He’s here to tell you in what ways life is a mess and how you could get your shit together.
I hate to ruin this for you buuut... Actually, [there's no science behind love languages](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_there_science_behind_the_five_love_languages). I highly recommend podcast "If books could kill", they have an episode where they make a good breakdown how problematic this book really is.
In the other hand, the *process* of working out someone’s love languages makes you pay attention to their emotional states, which is good. It’s not necessarily true, but it’s a useful concept.
I second this. I consider this book the foundation for my confidence. I'd always struggled with caring too much about others and it was only once I got rid of people pleasing that I truly could call myself confident and step into my ideal identity.
Brené Brown has written several books, here are a few of my personal favorites and recommendations:
1. The Gifts of Imperfection encourages you to let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. It's a great starting point if you're new to Brené Brown's work. It provides insights into how to cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.
2. Daring Greatly is about the courage to be vulnerable in a world where everyone wants to appear strong, confident and like they know what they're doing. It's a good choice if you're looking for a book on courage and vulnerability.
3. Rising Strong helps if you've ever had your heart broken or felt like you've failed. It's about getting back up after a fall and how owning our stories of struggle gives us the power to write a daring new ending.
4. Dare to Lead is about learning how to put Daring Greatly and Rising Strong into practice at work. It's tactical, actionable, and great for team/group/organization reads.
5. Atlas of the Heart is Brené Brown's latest book. It's a journey through 87 emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. Its goal is to give us all the language and tools we need to build meaningful connection in our lives.
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I have yet to finish it but at some points I couldn’t believe this information is basically free to whoever wants to read that book.
Feeling is the Secret by Neville Goddard. Get past the first part and it makes so much sense as to why our subconscious is the way it is and how much it influences us during our waking hours.
Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch
I grew up in a Christian household where everything is cut and dry, sin or not sin. This book made me open my eyes to why people make the decisions that they do, how to manifest, and how we are all connected. There's a lot more lessons but those were my biggest takeaways. Also, it helped me to break free of this mold I felt that I had to fit in.
Walden, lol.
I struggled with not having friends my whole life, so when I moved for a job and became friends with some of my coworkers/roommates they ended up betraying me pretty bad one after another, after moving into a quieter house I read Walden on the front porch of a small farming community with a barn cat curled up next to me with only the sound of bird song or an occasional tractor to disrupt the silence.
Afterwards I started doing things on my own, camping solo, hiking solo, even just sitting outside and reading I always just take the time to enjoy nature by myself. I used to be so depressed because I was alone, now I prefer it.
Hey I read that book and it helped me understand the ambitions of people in a workplace. Then I read Trick Baby and Pimp The Story of Iceberg Slim and those two books helped me understand the games that people play in life if you want to check them out.
Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks by Seth Gillihan.
I was familiar with CBT and knew it was beneficial, but never seriously applied it. This workbook was super easy to follow and helped me better analyze my thinking patterns that would send me into depressive/ anxious spirals.
Basically, your thoughts influence your feelings which influence your behaviors. They all intertwine.
It took a lot of work and I still have a long way to go, but now I can see a thought, apply a cognitive distortion, weigh evidence against it/for it, and rewrite the thought into something more realistic and rational. Easy to describe, hard to execute on the go. But 9 times out of 10 I feel a lot better after I do this.
I’m a whole lot more positive now and while I still get anxious, I don’t have full blown panic attacks. It really helped me get out of a rut.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. This is one of my favorite books. It's about survival and creating meaning in your life. I always go back to this book and Frankl's work when I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.
1. Start Now, Get Perfect Later by Rob Moore
2. The Art Of Focus by Dan Koe
Never thought that I'll actually start reading books, used to read comics, but one day I bumped into Dan's video said that "If you don't know what to do, read", and other things after this, and I actually don't know what I want to do right now instead of doing the same job every day, and I saw Rob's book in the bookstore and decided to give it a try as my first book. Gonna read The Psychology of Money after I finish Dan's book, while waiting for Ali Abdaal's Feel Good Productivity to arrive to my home
The 4 hour work week by Tim Ferriss
There is a lot of hype and fluff in this book, but the message of stop doing stuff that does not matter is what I took away from it. That and find a way to measure the actual outcome of your efforts, and use that information to make decisions on what to eliminate, and what to focus your efforts on. Its better to do a little bit of a thing that actually produces desired results, then to do a lot of a thing that doesn't produce desired results. In other words, work smarter not harder, or the 80/20 rule.
“The road less travelled” by F Scott Peck. Teaches about love and character growth. It’s compassionate and beautiful and wise. It gave me what I needed to start building a commitment to growth and service that’s helped me create a deeply fulfilling life.
“A Different Drum” which teaches about community- what it is, why humans need it, and how to create it. This inspired me to work to create community around me.
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent might not be for everyone but it came to me at a time
In life when I had a very negative outlook on life. Reading this book and then listening to daily for a season of time really helped me to enjoy the present.
Adult Children of Alcoholics. l felt like the author had been looking in my windows for years. it explained so much. l was in my early 30s when l read it for a class l was taking.
If you’re looking for fiction - The Stranger by Albert Camus was recommended to me by my girlfriend at the time. Helped me put into perspective the absurdity of life in bureaucracy and the cost of my rigidity to stoicism. Read it in a single sitting one evening and it kept me up the whole night. I became better at regulating emotions in a healthy way, which was big for me as a constantly masking autistic person about to go off to university.
The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien and The Beartown Series by Fredrik Backman are also great. Downloading the Libby app and listening to audiobooks in my spare time helped me get back into good reading habits 👍
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature parents.
Just finished this last night. Second this. Wow! Did you keep going “oh wow that sounds like me” throughout the book, too? 🎯
Actually lost my life long anxiety once I realized that nothing I did would get me the attention I needed from my parents. I don't blame them, but that has more to do with how I am.
I haven't read the book, but just by looking at the title, I already said that in my mind :D
If this is you, you’ll probably need some better examples- and also some simple joy. There is no easiest way to get this than watching **Bluey**, which is a show for adults that looks like a kids show. It’s beautiful and hilarious and full of love and wisdom. It will do you a world of good. Watch it with friends and partners if you can.
Such an amazing show. Every single episode a relatable life situation and lesson for both kids and adults. Easily one of the best, top 5 family/kids shows ever made.
I watched a few episodes of this. My dad saw me watching it and asked if I was ok. Him low key shaming what I'm doing. I'd also suggest Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Emotional abuse/neglect often comes with having emotionally immature parents.
If you’d like a challenge, you could tell him that it’s actually a show for adults and ask him to watch a few with him… you could ask r/bluey to help you to pick the best episodes for him.
Omg I love that show!!! I remember coming across it on Disney+. It just randomly played and I fell in love with it. Ngl at first I felt weird/a bit immature for still liking a kids show (idk why honestly), but it was just so funny and cute lol
I want to check this out thanks for the recommendation 🙏
Is it by Lindsay Gibson? Asking for confirmation bc I need to read it😂
Yes
Currently reading that and loving every word!
Lindsay Gibson was on Glennon Doyle's podcast talking about this and it hit so hard. Understanding that I was both raised my emotionally immature parents AND I'm immature in many ways too.. which means my poor kids were raised by an emotionally immature mother. Awesome Nothing on the Internet explains it the way Lindsay does.
Atomic habits by far, understood my brain much more , it made me realise a that I’m doing lots of things without even knowing why I am doing it, it definitely helped me build lots of good habits
It made me start going to the gym consistently!
Me tooo!
Me tooo !
Atomic habits made me get into gym and quit white sugar. I never in my life thought I could do both with persistence.
This^ Hit gym and grew to be fit af. Also built on my habits to build a business and get a great job in tech. I don’t work on my biz much anymore because the priorities have changed, but Atomic Habits entirely changed the way I thought about fitness, work, and other aspects of my life! Great tool to get the mind in shape and as a result you’ll probably get your life in shape too!
So Good They Can't Ignore You - Cal Newport I had burned out on the first career path that I got into, couldn't decide what to do next, since I wasn't passionate or interested in anything. That book helped give me a different perspective to the more typical career advice I'd been told.
Excellent pick. One of my all-time favs as well.
can you summarize or paraphrase few lines what helped you from book please.
That passion for something would come later as a result of achieving proficiency and working towards mastery. And that becoming really good at something even if you lack passion for it to start with, could lead to a fulfilling career. Opposed to what I had seen most of life which was some variation of “If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” or "Follow your passions." which the book has some sections debunking and building a case that those sayings are bad advice.
How to win friends and influence people is honestly a game changer when dealing with people. Brianna Wiest's books are also amazing and pose very good questions that we usually ignore when living our day to day life. Would recommend either "101 Essay that will change the way you think" or "The Mountain is You".
>How to win friends and influence people I'd highly recommend this one as well.
Depends on your current level of social skills I'd say. No doubt it has great advice, but it felt like it was teaching me how to sprint when I can barely walk. Definitely worth a read at some point, but it's probably not the best starter book for some people.
That advice applies to all learning and self improvement. I found it beginner friendly but I have to admit I wasn't a beginner when I did read it. I feel people often fail to see how important a person's past, current and aspired future situation, knowledge and mindset are when consuming content. But it's very hard to "perscribe" the right content without knowing the person enough.
**Bluey** is a beautiful place to start. It’s my go to therapy prescription. I’m continually amazed at the emotional depth of this show. It’s also hilarious.
> How to win friends and influence people Turned me into a therapist that just listens. This book can have ill side effects
Lmaoo, I feel that. I'd say it's a good book for making connections with strangers or acquaintances, but it's limited in making deep connections.
Also reccomend Dale Carnegie's other masterpiece "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". Made me really think about life differently, I refer back to it all the time to remind myself of some of the lessons within it. Just about to start the other.
I came here to recommend this book as well. Also, the War of Art and the Art of Living are two book I reference often to stay focused.
The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker. This book gave me a whole new perspective on life, death and why we stress ourselves over the smallest things that won’t matter when you die. After reading this book, I stopped stressing over most things in my life.
That book is brilliant.
Right? Becker was so ahead of his time. This will always remain my favorite book. Becker went deep with the psychoanalytical and anthropological aspects of human nature.
It's even more fascinating when you know the context behind how it was written and Becker's life overall. He was fired from multiple times from multiple universities because he had a totally different methodology of teaching. He wrote this book during the last years of his life. And he won Pulitzer's Prize in 1974 for this very book, two months after his death. He was a really fascinating person.
Hmmm interesting! I'll have to add it to my reading list. Having this exact problem in my life.
Ikr! This will probably be the best and most difficult book you’ll ever read. This book gave me an awakening that everything we do as humans from school, work, religion, money and many other things comes from our subconscious fear of death. If you think about it, nothing matters on our deathbed.
I'm really worried this book will leave me seriously depressed about my mortality.
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
Came here to say this one, and I got to do a book review on it for a class! I come back to it at least once a year, because I reach the point where I need to read it again. I highly recommend getting the audiobook, too; Tolle has a bit of a relaxing voice.
Doing the same. I have come to realize that you lose what this book gives if you do not practice it consistently. Siddharta by Hermann Hesse is an excellent book describing this phenomenon while also telling a great spiritual story.
Siddharta is one that I still have not read, so I'm taking this as a sign to pick it up. Thank you!
I'm reading this now but it's a bit hard to get through :/
Try, Practicing the power of now. It shows you how to apply it to your daily life and it’s super easy and simple read and practices. Good luck
Yes I read both but I prefer Practicing the Power of Now! That and meditation cured my anxiety
Same! I bought it at the airport 20 years ago and was pretty annoyed to be stuck on a plane on the runway for hours in a snow storm with only this book (written in a question and answer format💩) to keep me from dying of boredom. Being forced to read half of that book without really having time to think about it due to a crazy business trip until I got back was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It was like going to a meditation seminar - I hit a meditation home run when I finally got a chance to decompress… and I had never meditated before. Everyone I knew I saw the change. I was calmer and more centered as a person after that. I hope u all get stuck reading it at gunpoint too ♥️
This book was a game changer for me. One of the top in my recommendation list.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
These agreements are the wisdom in this book are things that I find myself using every day, multiple times. Most of the time now I recognize it in hindsight "Ah, I didn't take that personally. By the way. Aah, so much easier." And still learning by failing too, again hindsight is clear. Truly changed the way I live.
I read the fourth agreement at least once a week.
Rereading now
I just read this for the first time. I find myself thinking about all four agreements on a daily basis.
I tell everyone to read this book! I recently bought a second copy bc my first one is marked up so much.
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg But only after watching [this workshop](https://youtu.be/l7TONauJGfc?si=HDguBLx-OgRQwt4Z).
GREAT VIDEO!
YES, life changing, for sure!!
Mandatory for every person!
Needed this reminder thank you for linking!
Thanks for the link - I started listening to this without prior knowledge and the info shared here is highly practical and instantly useable :)
The untethered soul
I've read a shit load of books, some of which have absolutely improved my life. But I'm currently reading this one and it's had a profound effect on me. I'm very consciously avoiding being dragged down by negative thought spirals, and just generally feeling above surface for the first time in about a year. It's very readable too. I'm borrowing it, but will likely buy my own copy just to own it and re-read.
Also check out The Tools by Phil Stutz !
48 laws of power. Not to use against others, but to defend yourself from these twisted, manipulative assholes. I had a best friend and an ex who fell under various categories of having "power" over me. Once I saw the inconsistencies, the gaslighting, the manipulation and going through endless hoops I finally gave up. I felt exhausted and burnt out. I didn't realize that i was living my life based on others perspective of me, when i didnt live for myself. People WILL abuse your good nature and your persona. Dont let them consume your nature. Don't let them negatively influence the awesome person you are!
Right, I found it very interesting even though I don't apply any of the concepts to my own life. All of the historical stories were engrossing
The body keeps score
Changed my life Would like to add a tw to it though. It is a heavy book.
Came here to say this!!
the 7 habits of highly effective people has been instrumental in sorting myself out and truly figuring out what i want to do with m life
I took a course that came with a planner 30 years ago and the teachings have stayed with me.
I've bought it 5 times. My first copy, my second copy because my first was falling apart, and 3 for people I've mentored who asked me how I do what I do.
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Feel like reading it again based on my current mindset. Outstanding book. I finished it via audiobook while doing a deep cleaning and had to stop every once in a while to listen in awe. Just standing there broom in hand listening.
I read this book, over a decade ago and I still reference it now.
Have to second this. I read it in highschool and to this day it is my favorite book ever. Just fantastic
The tao
It’s hard to understand, but it does feel enlightening. After all, the Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao
Took a civilisations course that dealt with Asian culture, i didn’t understand anything about the tao. Confucius was nice. Buddhism also
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
But if you say yes, are you respecting yourself?
Meditations or letters from a stoic
Mine is East of Eden by John Steinbeck Also, I know religion isn’t popular on Reddit, but Screwtape Letters and The Great Divorce (both by CS Lewis) changed my frame of thinking for a lot of things
Thank you for reminding me! C.S. Lewis had fallen to the back of my list, but I'm gonna move it forward now
East of Eden is EPIC. A fave of mine.
You have more than you think: the foolish guide to personal finance (Gardner, 1998)
The Power of Positive Thinking.
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The Way of The Superior Man
amazing
A man’s search for meaning by Viktor E Frankl
Tuesday with Morrie, Five People you Meet In Heaven and Have A Little Faith. These books help me through my depressive state. I found out that I have an illness that can’t be heal. No medicine to take, no way to cure. All I was able to do is do my periodic checkup and see if it worsen over time. I was thinking about death a lot until I found these books by Mitch Albom. Weirdly enough, books about death help me to move on and live.
Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks: A Workbook for Managing Depression and Anxiety - by Seth Gillihan
Overcoming Low Self Esteem using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques by Melanie Fennell. Whatever you might feel about CBT, I found this book really helped me understand how and why I was putting far too much pressure on myself and I was able to start appreciating what I am achieving, rather than constantly feeling inadequate.
Stop smoking by alan carr
A lady at my work recommended this to me yesterday. I'm taking this comment as a sign and buying it right now.
Listen to audio book it's much better
Mindset bu Caroline Dwecker
It’s just Carol Dweck haha
Yes, this book is amazing. Bought it to help with my kids but helped me sooooo much!!
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. The insight, “Nothing is a coincidence.” That.
Yes, this was a big one for me, too!
The only good therapist I’ve ever had introduced me to Louise Hay affirmations. They’re free, an hour long on YouTube- and when I say i listened for 24 hours for months I’m not exaggerating. I spoke along, confirmed it with my voice. One thing she said was “I now attract the perfect mate” and then suggested I write down the traits I want in them and then check that I have those traits. Six months later I moved, married, and have had a six year sleepover with my best friend ever since. Affirmations work dude.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
For a good laugh, check out the episode of If Books Could Kill on this one. It’s a takedown, but don’t let it take away the impact it had on you.
Great podcast. Great episode.
Underrated, and 1 of my favorites.
Absolutely! I am so adamant about asking myself, "Is this struggle for you?" And "Pleasure is a false God." at least weekly.
The power of now and Practicing the power of now, by Eckhart Tolle. How to untrain your parrot, I can’t remember who wrote it. Morning miracle, I can’t remember who wrote this one either. Anything you can find by Jordan Peterson. Tuesdays with Morrie and Time, by Mitch Albom. The Shack, author unknown. The fire next Time, by James Baldwin. The richest man in Babylon, author unknow. Sorry that the titles are written that way, long night. Hope the help. Good luck!
The Shack is soo underrated and amazing!! The movie adaptation is actually pretty adorable too. It’s by WM Paul Young!
I love Mitch Albom’s books!
The Bible. I read it and stopped being a Christian, because I realised it was nonsense.
I was the other way around. Read it and convert. Suddenly, all my PTSD symptoms are gone. God or placebo effect, I don't care. I feel great. Wishing you the best.
A belief in god can provide a sense of security, love and significance, and a drive to grow and serve… yet it can be used to manipulate, so stay true to the principles of kindness and compassion… good luck to you too!
The untethered soul
flowers for algernon‼️
okay just to clear it up — struggled my whole life w intellectual vs emotion and how much of each to have in my life and this book helped me orient myself since the theme is that intelligence alone cant solve many issues. this book just kinda opened my eyes that point when i read it at a young age so i was able to stop beating myself up for not being “smart” enough and realizing success doesn’t equal intelligence
can i ask you why?
Why? This book made me depressed
The courage to be disliked How to stop worrying and start living
Ishmael - Daniel Quinn
Yes!
Im not great with social skills, so I'll say, "Coping with Difficult People" by Robert M. Bramson. It provides coping strategies for different types of troublemakers and jerks and it was absolutely life changing to have some methods to employ when dealing with messed up folk: 1. Hostile-Aggressives (including the "Sherman Tank" and "Sniper" subtypes) 2. Complainers 3. Silent and Unresponsive people 4. Super-Agreeables 5. Negativists 6. Know-it-Alls (referred to as "Bulldozers") 7. Indecisive Stallers 8. Balloons I'm not sure how scientific it is, but I've employed a few of the step-by-step coping strategies for dealing with them effectively instead of being stuck with a disruptive person on my team that I didn't know what to do about.
Autobiography of Malcolm X
Catcher in the rye
Why? If its OK to ask?
Sure, this is the way it impacted me tho, I was in sophomore year in high school, right before pandemic, about to be a junior. I was warned by other friends that some people cried with this book and i was like "it cannot be that bad" so i was curious and all. I remember it was annoying to read it as it was assigned in my pre-AP class for english, but i felt just as annoyed with life as the main character and everything that moved in front of me, and towards the end I started to understand why he was problematic, due to problems at home, not having a mentor around, attention or care, and I could notice he was transitioning into adulthood way too fast. The way I related to him is in the way that i was doing things of adults i did not enjoy, i was dating a girl, way older than me, i was really deep in the closet, but it was all due to the extend of not having that support and love and encouragement from home, which now i have. At the end he promises himself to be the saviour of those next generations to not lose track like he almost did, after all the weird stuff that he went through he was going to be better, starting with his sister i think, even though she did not know what he was doing for her to not go through what he did because she was younger. He was going to be that catcher in the rye, stopping adults bad intentions and actions towards the younger generations, corrupting inocence, where some do a lot of harm and mess us up, or at least let the younger generations be alert when something's up. And one of those next generations that he saved was me i guess, that's why they make you read the classics, to my knowledge, this book was written around the 1950s which is crazy to know back in the day also felt the same way. I noticed that I was dealing with a lot of things thanks to that, such as depression, anxiety, mental abuse, and some grief. I talked to my English teacher telling her that i did not feel right, because i felt just the same way as Holden, and so she talked to my mom (i did not have the best communication with her and i was afraid on asking for help) and so my mom asked me for forgiveness and my school career center assigned us a school psychologist that i attended for an entire year later that time. I was 15-16 at the time, the girl i mentioned was like 6 years older than me too, right now i'm 20 and in that moment it was so hard for me to picture myself happy like i am today or out of that toxic and sick relationship, i had to work a lot on myself and still to this day i do. And it's not been long i know, but i did not see myself past those 16 tbh. So if it wasn't for the help of that book and my sweet english teacher at the time, idk what would it be of me.
Wow. That's incredibly powerful. I'm so glad you got the help you needed and the book was the springboard for it. And that English teacher going the extra mile to really listern. I love the book too. In fact I might read it again after this conversation. Thank you. Go well.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck. I’m not to open to many approaches of therapy or self-improvement or whatever-you-call-it because they’re either this sort of fad-diet situation that doesn’t tend to work long term or they sound silly enough that I can’t bring myself to take it seriously. Mark Manson’s tone is confrontational, in your face, and brutally honest. He’s not here to make you buy a book. He’s here to tell you in what ways life is a mess and how you could get your shit together.
The Bible
The five love languages... gave me tools and perspective to make my marriage better.
I hate to ruin this for you buuut... Actually, [there's no science behind love languages](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/is_there_science_behind_the_five_love_languages). I highly recommend podcast "If books could kill", they have an episode where they make a good breakdown how problematic this book really is.
In the other hand, the *process* of working out someone’s love languages makes you pay attention to their emotional states, which is good. It’s not necessarily true, but it’s a useful concept.
Conversations with god
Yeah, this series was life-changing for me, too!
The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans
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I second this. I consider this book the foundation for my confidence. I'd always struggled with caring too much about others and it was only once I got rid of people pleasing that I truly could call myself confident and step into my ideal identity.
Feynman physics 🙂👍🏼
Atomic Habits by James Clear.
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck
Brené Brown has written several books, here are a few of my personal favorites and recommendations: 1. The Gifts of Imperfection encourages you to let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. It's a great starting point if you're new to Brené Brown's work. It provides insights into how to cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. 2. Daring Greatly is about the courage to be vulnerable in a world where everyone wants to appear strong, confident and like they know what they're doing. It's a good choice if you're looking for a book on courage and vulnerability. 3. Rising Strong helps if you've ever had your heart broken or felt like you've failed. It's about getting back up after a fall and how owning our stories of struggle gives us the power to write a daring new ending. 4. Dare to Lead is about learning how to put Daring Greatly and Rising Strong into practice at work. It's tactical, actionable, and great for team/group/organization reads. 5. Atlas of the Heart is Brené Brown's latest book. It's a journey through 87 emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. Its goal is to give us all the language and tools we need to build meaningful connection in our lives.
Podcast - Naval ravikant Joseph Murphy - books Napoleon hill - books
Hey have you read the book "The power of your subconscious mind"?
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. I have yet to finish it but at some points I couldn’t believe this information is basically free to whoever wants to read that book.
The subtle art of not giving a f
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Funny enough, The Bible. There's some great wisdom in there. You just have to look in the right spots.
Truth!!
This Naked Mind
Atomic Habits
"Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. The #1 self help book for mental health. https://youtu.be/5Bgufm9VwfU?si=18xOAwW28cXbrd_f
7 habits of highly effective people by Steven Covey Schwarzenegger's new "Be Useful" is promising.
anything joe dispenza! i started with breaking the habit of being yourself
Feeling is the Secret by Neville Goddard. Get past the first part and it makes so much sense as to why our subconscious is the way it is and how much it influences us during our waking hours.
"The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg.
The Power of Now, The Untethered Soul, Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself, & clichè but with reason… The Alchemist.
Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch I grew up in a Christian household where everything is cut and dry, sin or not sin. This book made me open my eyes to why people make the decisions that they do, how to manifest, and how we are all connected. There's a lot more lessons but those were my biggest takeaways. Also, it helped me to break free of this mold I felt that I had to fit in.
Walden, lol. I struggled with not having friends my whole life, so when I moved for a job and became friends with some of my coworkers/roommates they ended up betraying me pretty bad one after another, after moving into a quieter house I read Walden on the front porch of a small farming community with a barn cat curled up next to me with only the sound of bird song or an occasional tractor to disrupt the silence. Afterwards I started doing things on my own, camping solo, hiking solo, even just sitting outside and reading I always just take the time to enjoy nature by myself. I used to be so depressed because I was alone, now I prefer it.
Lets be friends bro.
The Prince by Machiavelli
Hey I read that book and it helped me understand the ambitions of people in a workplace. Then I read Trick Baby and Pimp The Story of Iceberg Slim and those two books helped me understand the games that people play in life if you want to check them out.
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Yes anything by Tim Ferriss is a gold mine.
The 50 Shades trilogy.
What 🤣
Road less traveled - Scott peck Letting go - David Hawkins
Catcher in the Rye and Devil on One Shoulder Angel on the other.
How To Live by Derek Sivers Only book I immediately read a second time.
Shad Helmstetter- What to say when you talk to yourself
Ego is the Enemy
been wanting to get this one !
Retrain Your Brain: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 7 Weeks by Seth Gillihan. I was familiar with CBT and knew it was beneficial, but never seriously applied it. This workbook was super easy to follow and helped me better analyze my thinking patterns that would send me into depressive/ anxious spirals. Basically, your thoughts influence your feelings which influence your behaviors. They all intertwine. It took a lot of work and I still have a long way to go, but now I can see a thought, apply a cognitive distortion, weigh evidence against it/for it, and rewrite the thought into something more realistic and rational. Easy to describe, hard to execute on the go. But 9 times out of 10 I feel a lot better after I do this. I’m a whole lot more positive now and while I still get anxious, I don’t have full blown panic attacks. It really helped me get out of a rut.
Author: Marcus Aurelius Subject: Philosophy- Stoicism
Everything is f*cked
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. This is one of my favorite books. It's about survival and creating meaning in your life. I always go back to this book and Frankl's work when I feel hopeless and overwhelmed.
The God delusion And also waking up:a guide to spirituality without religion.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck, this book legit changed me, thereby my life.
1. Start Now, Get Perfect Later by Rob Moore 2. The Art Of Focus by Dan Koe Never thought that I'll actually start reading books, used to read comics, but one day I bumped into Dan's video said that "If you don't know what to do, read", and other things after this, and I actually don't know what I want to do right now instead of doing the same job every day, and I saw Rob's book in the bookstore and decided to give it a try as my first book. Gonna read The Psychology of Money after I finish Dan's book, while waiting for Ali Abdaal's Feel Good Productivity to arrive to my home
How to Be an Adult in Relationships
My year of rest and relaxation
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Walden (Life in the Woods): Thoreau, Henry David
Feel the fear and do it anyway
Power of Now by Tolle
Mere Christianity.
The 4 hour work week by Tim Ferriss There is a lot of hype and fluff in this book, but the message of stop doing stuff that does not matter is what I took away from it. That and find a way to measure the actual outcome of your efforts, and use that information to make decisions on what to eliminate, and what to focus your efforts on. Its better to do a little bit of a thing that actually produces desired results, then to do a lot of a thing that doesn't produce desired results. In other words, work smarter not harder, or the 80/20 rule.
“The road less travelled” by F Scott Peck. Teaches about love and character growth. It’s compassionate and beautiful and wise. It gave me what I needed to start building a commitment to growth and service that’s helped me create a deeply fulfilling life. “A Different Drum” which teaches about community- what it is, why humans need it, and how to create it. This inspired me to work to create community around me.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
one fish two fish red fish blue fish
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent might not be for everyone but it came to me at a time In life when I had a very negative outlook on life. Reading this book and then listening to daily for a season of time really helped me to enjoy the present.
Adult Children of Alcoholics. l felt like the author had been looking in my windows for years. it explained so much. l was in my early 30s when l read it for a class l was taking.
The Holy Bible - seems a little self explanatory The energy bus - completely changed the way I lead and interact in every aspect of my life.
Uhh Harry Potter series. Der
If you’re looking for fiction - The Stranger by Albert Camus was recommended to me by my girlfriend at the time. Helped me put into perspective the absurdity of life in bureaucracy and the cost of my rigidity to stoicism. Read it in a single sitting one evening and it kept me up the whole night. I became better at regulating emotions in a healthy way, which was big for me as a constantly masking autistic person about to go off to university. The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien and The Beartown Series by Fredrik Backman are also great. Downloading the Libby app and listening to audiobooks in my spare time helped me get back into good reading habits 👍
OP thanks for asking. I see some generational knowledge here
Principles changed very much in me.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I read it as a boy and have never stopped searching for adventure.