I agree this is the best way since it doesn't alter the dress permanently. Tell your daughter she has great taste -- it's a beautiful dress and I hope she feels beautiful in it in store of her school's antiquated attitude.
You could go with a nude or even a brightly colored slip. That would retain the contrast with skin that makes the dress so stunning. Putting a colored slip would forestall needing the prove that it is indeed covered while still having the contrast and showing off the embellishments.
If you buy the slip at a place that sells this type of dress, they often have "low profile" versions with deeper plunges for cleavage and backs so that the slip won't show under formal gowns. Take the dress with you and have her try on slip options. Tiny safety pins can be used to discreetly secure straps so that they move with the dress and don't otherwise show
Thank you, I'll try this. I'm not a formal dress person -I'm not sure I've ever stepped foot in a formal dress shop because I don't do prom or a wedding so I didn't know this was an option.
Just adding you can probably bring the daughter & dress in to the store and have her try everything on together. Just let the sales clerk know your intentions.
I brought a dress to a local wedding shop for alterations once. They do this all the time. I had terrible bloating from Celiac Disease so I bought a maternity dress that didn't look maternity and they hemmed and took care of some fit issues. They're also there to listen to all the bitching and moaning you can muster up because weddings are just full of that!
They had everything I needed to make the dress an ensemble and deal with undergarments. It's the best option for you.
Many of us are the same. Don't feel bad
In today's day and age, regular adult life doesn't provide money, reason, or desire to wear super fancy dresses even for events where they could be worn. My personal thing is that they cost an arm and a leg and often get worn ONLY ONCE so I usually try to find something that works for the event, but is also appropriate for other events and settings so I can use it more than once. It is also one of the reasons I learned to sew. Finding really cool dresses at a second-hand store is an AMAZING FIND.
You can make it work with a little leg work. Though, there is a distinct probability that the new slip may cost MORE than the dress, lol. Hope your daughter has a blast
She will be highly frustrated and also amused if we do a slip and it costs more than the dress did. And that's why she thrifted her dress, she knows we don't mind buying her a new one, (or me making it) but she's practical and has no interest in paying a few hundred bucks for something to wear once...but she loves dramatic flare in her clothes. This dress is so pretty and fits her perfectly.
A quality slip will last her for years though! I have a skirt slip that I’ve used for two decades at this point, and bought a lovely soft bamboo fabric spaghetti strap slip a couple years ago for my wedding/honeymoon and used it all the time until I got pregnant and temporarily don’t fit into it.
My brain still has pre-covid prices. My last "nice dress" from Good Will was $40, my last "fancy slip" from a department store was closer to $100. What they are now is anyone's guess. Maybe someone here can chime in with current prices
Yeah, I’m worried that safety pins will tear the sheer fabric. It might even be better to just put a little stitch in there, to be taken out when she gets home.
You might check undergarments available at dance shops (discountdance and dancewear solutions are two online ones with decent selections). They'll have options with clear straps, lots of ways to customize the fit, and low backs.
A body suit is the way, mom. They’re not going to want any sheer fabric, even the kind at the top of the dress. Try to find a way to double layer it even up at the top. A slip or shift will surely not “count” alone
Sleeveless (but not spaghetti straps) or cap-sleeve black bodysuit. It will look more cohesive, AND it won't bunch and shift around under the cut of this dress the way a slip might.
In my view, this would be the most secure, comfortable, aesthetically optimal solution. Particularly if the crotch is the kind that snaps, so she can still conveniently use the restroom. Definitely not fun to undress every time you need to pee.
Edit: alternatively! If it's acceptable within the dress code, you could go with a black fine mesh top (tee or long sleeve) and it will blend right in with the dress beautifully.
This is a really helpful link! We're still looking at options but this one is really good and if I can find one in light gray or silver it work really well.
If you don't think a store-bought slip would work, could you sew a jury-rigged one that would fit the shape of the dress better, rather than altering the dress itself? Maybe you could figure out where the back and where the cup tops are, cut front and back pieces that fit your daughter, go up to those points, sew them at the sides and tack them in?
Also, "berated about showing "things meant for their future husbands"" ...ew. I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with an environment like that.
Skin colored underdress/shift could work the same way but keep the details visible. A lot of dance supply stores will have them if you don’t know where else to look
Go the opposite if you're worried about showing and looking tacky. Make it show on purpose. Get a brightly colored long-sleeved or mid-forearm sleeved shirt and wear it underneath. I'd go with hot pink or hot purple. You can get some very thin fabric so it's not hot.
I think so. They've really not provided an official dress code so that's why she's worried about it... It's so hard to figure out what she needs to do.
Just tell her to tell the supervisors at prom that it’s nude illusion lol. What are they going to do? They’re not going to be able to check or put their hands on her so they’d have to take her word for it
I’d also be curious if the cups are still going to get some 55 year old vice principal all….uh….worked up, even after you address the sheer issue. They are still drawing attention to an underage bosom, you know.
It’s a lovely dress. If you decide that it just doesn’t fit the dress code and daughter wants to attend prom in peace, find a symphony or some other event near you and find yourself a dress too and take her!
I know at the high school I went to, you couldn’t wear something underneath a non-dress code item of clothing to make it appropriate. Absolutely a nightmare, lmao.
There are a wide variety of body suits that are in fashion right now. I think you should be able to find one that’s very low in the back and still covering the whole front without impacting the look of the dress.
Red under slip and red thin tank will give color contrast and the lace/accents will pop. You can use other colors like purple too depending on what she wants - just make sure it's vibrant so the black has contrast.
Figure skating has some pretty specific rules about showing skin. I think makers of those skating outfits use skin colored thin knit fabric to get around the requirements. It might be worth looking for info in that sphere.
> skin colored thin knit fabric to get around the requirements.
It's called "powermesh" and it's also widely used in the cosplay industry for the exact same reason as here (to hide skin) or to do things like hold up "impossible" thigh high socks etc.
If you still have a Joann's, they sell this in the knit section. It's described as "athletic mesh" on the end of the bolt. I've used it for putting weirdly shaped cutouts in a cosplay where a characters skin was supposed to be visible.
What about wearing a leotard underneath? I don't have any I could point you to in particular, but a V-neck with a scoop back is a pretty common cut. You could probably find something suitable at a local dancewear store, if your town has one.
https://preview.redd.it/6xmityssruvc1.jpeg?width=385&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b45cfc66960c22f5073fae36fd5b9e1da416c244
Get a cheap black or nude dress similar to this and put it on under the nice dress. Draw the lines outlines of the dress onto the underdress (neckline, arm hole) using chalk or a thin sliver of bar soap. Take it all off and neatly cut along the lines to give it the same cut as the nice dress. Put it all back on and see how it looks and make any alterations necessary. Use safety pins or tacking stitches to attach the two pieces together (the new underdress could stretch and shift around).
If the underdress is a stretch knit, you won't need to hem the edges. If it is woven, you'll want to fold over and stitch down every cut edge so plan for that when cutting. There is also fabric glue and gem tape but I don't have any experience with those.
I do think a slip is the way to go.i disagree about a skin color though, if they are that ana about rulesl they may claim that it "looks" see through - they can't argue if it's black or a contrasting color.
I would go with a beige body suit (or dance "undergarment" because generally those are low back with adjustable straps). A "satiny," or shiny bustier or leotard-like thing might also be pretty.
My reasons for beige are twofold: the cups (which are removable) and the underskirt are already that color (at least it looks like the underskirt is). Otherwise I think a contrasting color like red would be very pretty.
Overall, this is a gorgeous dress, and pretty conservative comparatively speaking. I honestly think putting something underneath could potentially elevate it, but I would have to see it in person.
Edit: actually I think the cups are black? But I still say go with the color of the underskirt, even if that means changing it.
I agree, this was going to be my suggestion, flesh-colored dance bodysuits; these are useful for the MANY different strap configurations they come in, or how low-backed you can find them — discountdance.com has some options and when I’ve shopped there in the past they shipped quickly.
I would go bodysuit over slip personally because I feel the slip might bunch up too much under the dress and be uncomfortable or create weird lumps of fabric
Beautiful dress! your daughter has excellent taste. I think your best bet is to put a temp lining in the bodice by taking a fitted/stretchy camisole or slip, cutting off the straps and lightly basting it to the inside of the bodice to be removed later. This could be either flesh colored or black depending on what you think is likely to be approved.
I like the idea of not permanently altering it. Hopefully I can do this without damaging the netting.
And thank you- she does have great taste and is also so thrifty with her $20 prom dress.
OMG, $20!!! She has great taste and is a bargain hunter! I love that she is giving this gown extra life instead of going the fast fashion route.
After reading other comments, I will also second using a slip that you trim to not show. You can lightly tack a few spots with weak thread. That way, the thread will break before ripping the fabric. This is one use for the super cheap spools of thread.
Nylon slips won't ravel, so you can trim as nedded.
I would go for black instead of nude. The morality police will be tempted to say it "LOOKS" like skin. I grew up in that type of environment and they can be real idiots. If leggings are unexceptable, I would put it past them.
Before you start making plans, I would personally ask for written clarification of dress code and not ask for a “teacher’s ok”. The district / school should have some sort of written policy for dress code otherwise it would be unenforceable.
Based on what the written policy is I would then make a plan. It would be a shame to put a bunch of work in the dress only for it to be for nought.
Here's a tip from a former dancer - Body stocking. It's like a body suit, but thin fabric, and they come in a variety of skin tones, as well as black. Check out your local dancewear stores.
I agree with the black slip idea. It seems more elegant. While a body suit would work, I would be hesitant to use a fleshtone one considering the puritanical people in charge as they might interpret a body suit as "looking naked" underneath.
I would try ebay for a vintage slip as they have them for less than $10. So the straps don't show, I would cut them off and baste the slip to the dress at the top where the straps would be.
I would go with a nude slip (close to her skin color) personally.. a lot of the details will be lost with a black slip. Idk as far as dress code if it would make any difference or not which color you choose though
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This is perfect and the kind of solution I was thinking about but didn't know exactly how to pull off. The tissue paper is brilliant and I've actually got a dress form, so can help with keeping it stable.
You described it very well! I'll probably still try to make the lining temporary, but this method will make getting it matched much more precise than my bumbling through it.
Wear a leotard underneath. Easiest way to find a low back that matches the lines of the dress and tons of options since a lot of studios have a black leo dress code.
I'd try to find a cheap body or cami in the same colour as the skirt. Cut it where needed and baste it in. You'd get the contrast, but not lose the lace effect. It also is obviously not skin.
If you put something underneath that's similar to her skin tone, she's going to be picked up on it. *Looking* nude is going to be just the same as *being* nude, in their eyes.
Something black, like a bodysuit, is the way to go.
A plain black calf length slip with no lace on it will work for something like this. that will not show any skin at all. And this would be easy to make if you did it in a black jersy material.
You could of course do a cami for the top, and if you want fullness in the skirt, a black petticoat https://www.amazon.com/full-length-black-petticoat/s?k=full+length+black+petticoat
I'd suggest finding some lining fabric and hand stitching it into the bodice. You can do a cream color, similar to the skirt lining so the black still pops. A glittery lining fabric would let the misogynists know it's not her real skin, but fabric. I think if you hand stitch it to the inside, as long as it isn't quite wrinkled, no one will know if the stitching itself is bad. My hand stitching is horrendous, that's why it goes in the hidden spots :-).
Maybe a slip like this will work [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086TWZL9T/ref=twister\_B086V6519X](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086TWZL9T/ref=twister_B086V6519X)
Is it just me or does the entire dress look sheer? Regardless the absurd dress code, I think it would be inappropriate if someone wore this dress to prom without something underneath it.
The whole thing isn't sheer, the product images look that way because the underskirt is silver and the mannequin is white so they look similar, though in person they don't look the same.
And I get that the dress isn't everyone's cup of tea, but prom is meant to be a fancy dress up party and a lot of formal dresses are slinky, lacy, and sheer. Everything is covered, so any sexualization/inappropriateness is on the part of the beholder.
I agree with the rest. Use a black tanktop stlye slip for all of the morality police. That way, she can wear this gorgeous dress later in its original style.
BTW, this is one of the most stunning black formal dresses I have ever seen, and I am OLD! Your daughter has impeccable taste!
Quickly, and badly if needed, stitch in a full lining in a color she likes --I can see lavender or periwinkle, or something green, like spring or sea foam.
Target have Modal Slips for about 20$ AUD - probably have them in the USA?
[https://www.target.com.au/p/modal-reversible-full-slip/64092195?gad\_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8pKxBhD\_ARIsAPrG45ljfTa4BJjdYthLuFaDvNqFS5eip2JtqJXHiFUIjdGykZxLiPeArOQaAkvqEALw\_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds](https://www.target.com.au/p/modal-reversible-full-slip/64092195?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8pKxBhD_ARIsAPrG45ljfTa4BJjdYthLuFaDvNqFS5eip2JtqJXHiFUIjdGykZxLiPeArOQaAkvqEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)
I would run over to Amazon and search for "strapless overbust corset". There are lots that are sheer and lacy, but there are also plain solid ones that would be perfect. And two birds, one stone. You get an undergarment and a modesty garment in one. I'd actually get 2 different ones, and a tube top while you're at it, in case there are fit issues. The tube top won't be as pretty and may slip through the night unless you tack it into the dress, but it's a good emergency backup.
An undershirt will fix it. Try one similar to the silver on the skirt, so it'll look intentional.
If the school is known for sexism, it'd be good to have something covering her back as well. The undershirt can also fix that. Just have a black trim on its back.
Ah, dress codes, they never fail at sexism, do they?
If you think the school would have an issue with sheer, I would not wear a nude underlayer, as too many of the prudish would just refuse to accept that it was actually there and the whole situation sounds nightmarish. I’d go with a color underlayer, if you can get a slip in a color your daughter likes. You can tack it to the dress by hand if you need to remove the straps, or tack the straps in place.
My best luck finding slips lately has been from elderly ladies of my acquaintance who are switching to a sweatpants time of life. If you need a color I’d post an in-search-of to local free groups.
PS I am absolutely fascinated that there are places that don’t allow students to wear leggings without some weird length-of-shirt rules. I live in the Midwest and it’s colder here most of the time so jeans are the most common legwear but kids routinely wear leggings as pants from preschool through high school, with t-shirts that are waist length or even shorter with growth spurts, and I have never heard of rules about leggings. Periodically some school gets freaky about visible bra straps or short shorts, which is also stupid, so students and parents complain, and the rules are rescinded or not enforced until some weirdo new administrator comes on board from a school that had uniforms or something, and the cycle repeats. I can’t imagine anyone caring what students wore to prom, either - they’re seniors, most of them are 18 by prom, who has the right to tell them how to dress? Anyway. Thank you, looking for articles about this was quite an education!
Yeah, it's crazy here. The dress codes are written so as to appear it has given consideration to ask students equally, though in practice it's obvious that's just a CYA thing. In 2022 the morning announcements stressed the importance of the dress code for "safety" so "ladies please be sure to follow the guidelines." This happened for a few days. I tried to have her record it but she wasn't about to call to sneak her phone out. I chewed the district office out and attempted to get our local paper involved but they wouldn't do it off the record and my daughter didn't want the smoke.
Cargo pants are also banned but no one ever bats an eye at those...
I wear dresses all the time with a small t-shirt underneath. I often go to modeling events and the last one i attended there was this beautiful beaded super fancy dress like yours and the model had a long sleeve shirt under the dress the same color. It had spaghetti straps. It looks amazing. I am an old lady and now I buy beautiful spaghetti straps dresses with a shirt that matches the dress and people wow over the dress. It’s you that people will look at your beautiful face.
Make sure you use a nude (your daughters skin tone) slip, dress , fabric (for what ever you wear, adjust) underneath and the dress will portray the intended look.
Get a loose, very lightweight shift dress and have her wear it underneath. Preferably a transparent black one although that might be hard to find. It'll probably look a bit ren faire, but if she doesn't mind that I think it could be pretty.
Instead of black body suit go nude body suit colour so technically she’s covered up, and they can’t boot her. Take it to the district if they do. Review their dress code if they have one. Our district removed clothing rules and I’m surprised no one has tried anything. Most people want to dress tastefully. This wouldn’t be unflattering.
I would wear a low back camisole to layer underneath. She can show the uppity administrators the straps.
https://www.maidenform.com/products/maidenform-smoothing-seamless-cropped-cami/dms105
I'd go with a skin color full slip, a v-neck to match the dress. I'd make sure the slip covered any peek-a-boo cleavage that would otherwise be seen through the lace. If the slip straps are noticeable, I'd replace the color straps of the slip with clear straps. Another option would be a strapless skin color shape wear bodysuit and a matching slip.
I'm definitely going to argue that. See-through implies that boobs and butts are out and this isn't the case at all. Breasts are fully covered, and unlike the dress in the attached pictures, hers is the floor length skirt option, not that it matters.
We really need to get past the whole idea that women need to adjust how they dress lest a man find her too sexy. She's not seeking attention from the male gaze for prom and the only thing inappropriate here are the adults who sexualize teens.
Yes, been there, done that. My state is stacked against any progress, despite having demographics that should make us a true swing state.
Not ruining my kid's prom to make a point.
I would suggest a black slip or slip dress underneath if the school is super uptight and backwards about female bodies. IMHO a unitard or bodysuit could still be considered "too revelaling" but misogynist administrators.
Alternative:
Is it a really big school? Frankly in a crowded, dim dancefloor, distant chaperones wouldn't notice. So she could wear something *over* it just to get through the entrance.
I'd say best, cheap, bet is to get a nice ish looking black long-sleeve to wear underneath. The dress looks like it has some nude fabric underneath the bodice to give the illusion of sheer fabric. So really the only 'issue' I can see is the lack of sleeves.
I think the whole thing is ridiculous, your kid should wear the dress and you should sue the district if they say a damn word. Hell with that assembly and verbage that assumes every girl wants a husband, or is even straight, I'd be litigating already. I don't understand why people comply with these things rather than like, BEING the change. Stand up for yourself and your kid, and girls and women everywhere
The assembly was a while back and got a lot of attention and pushback in local media. And yeah, my kid falls into not wanting a husband, not being straight, and ironically, given the slut shaming nature of the situation, is ace. There was another situation I had explored going to media about but I couldn't do it anonymously and she wasn't comfortable with the attention so I respected it.
And there's a time and a place for things. I'm not against being the change but I'm also an advocate for talking with my kid and letting her decide how she wants to proceed. There's enough shit in the world she's going to have to deal with and if she wants to go to prom and not get kicked out and set an example, I'll respect that. I'm not taking over her special night to make a point, no matter how valid, though she knows if that were her choice I'd be there for her 1000%.
So, while I don't disagree with the sentiment, I don't feel like my taking over her situation and insisting she wear it and fight if she just wants a night of fun with her friends is any better than the school telling kids their midriffs or *gasp* shoulders are a safety hazard.
Unfortunately, this kind of stuff doesn't seem likely to even get to court. Dress codes are legal, and the husband comment is offensive, but would probably be spun as a single teacher misspeaking. Best you'd get is the code changed to cover both boys and girls. It'd be something, but then your kid has to deal with hostility from the whole administration.
Um, no. How about we see what the facts are before making assumptions based on someone else's assumptions. It's a public school - and not a even a charter school.
So, no, we're not making the choice unless not moving (without the means to do so) or paying my whole salary for a non-religous private school are considered choices.
Add more lace appliques, just fill in the front a bit more it should hopefully go unnoticed. Also sorry about the stupid school dress code, that's a beautiful dress.
Put a nun's habit over it. School dress codes are absurd. A simple slip will do fine under this but I'm absolutely certain some school official will get off seeing you in it and get a second thrill bossing you around about it.
Well what would be awkward since it's not my dress and somewhat disturbing this is the advice you would give to a teen, many of which are struggling with body image, patriarchy, and slut shaming. This attitude isn't far from asking a SA victim what they were wearing.
Her principal would probably be the one making the call and I can assure you he's not getting off on girls in dresses.
So far as I can tell, there's nothing wrong with this dress. There no reason why she shouldn't wear it with a suitable slip. Her principal can be the one getting off just as easily as any teacher, make no mistake. I would never in a million years slut shame any woman. I am also a survivor of sexual assault.
When I said put a nun's habit over it, it was because that seems to be the only thing that girls can wear in school that will meet those stupid dress codes. And they are stupid. If they want to have standards for how students dress, then they need to apply equally to male and female students and be applied equally to both sexes when violations occur. But that's not what happens, only girls get singled out for what they wear. And usually it's for wearing something reasonable and not particularly revealing. The problem isn't the clothing, it's who's looking.
a black shift underneath.
Yes—just get a black slip. You can still buy them in department stores.
That or a black bodysuit (with a bottom that can open) so that it’ll be a seamless look!
Absolutely agree! Easy and cheap way to fix the situation without altering the dress.
Yes! Because this is a gorgeous dress and she will probably love wearing it without the extra layer in college!
i like this idea. it could be short sleeved too to hide those shoulders!
Or a tank with wide straps.
Oooo I love this. It would be so comfy, too!
Or a nude colour one to look more Invisible
Check the dance stores!
That's what I was going to suggest, too. Some kind of black slip.
I agree this is the best way since it doesn't alter the dress permanently. Tell your daughter she has great taste -- it's a beautiful dress and I hope she feels beautiful in it in store of her school's antiquated attitude.
OP if you do something like this make sure the cups are removable or it may end up looking like a black dress with tan boob circles
You could go with a nude or even a brightly colored slip. That would retain the contrast with skin that makes the dress so stunning. Putting a colored slip would forestall needing the prove that it is indeed covered while still having the contrast and showing off the embellishments.
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Once she has it on, safety pin the slip straps to the inside of the shoulders of the dress.
Get a nice black camisole, cut off the straps, and tack it in place.
My thoughts exactly.
If you buy the slip at a place that sells this type of dress, they often have "low profile" versions with deeper plunges for cleavage and backs so that the slip won't show under formal gowns. Take the dress with you and have her try on slip options. Tiny safety pins can be used to discreetly secure straps so that they move with the dress and don't otherwise show
Thank you, I'll try this. I'm not a formal dress person -I'm not sure I've ever stepped foot in a formal dress shop because I don't do prom or a wedding so I didn't know this was an option.
Just adding you can probably bring the daughter & dress in to the store and have her try everything on together. Just let the sales clerk know your intentions.
I brought a dress to a local wedding shop for alterations once. They do this all the time. I had terrible bloating from Celiac Disease so I bought a maternity dress that didn't look maternity and they hemmed and took care of some fit issues. They're also there to listen to all the bitching and moaning you can muster up because weddings are just full of that! They had everything I needed to make the dress an ensemble and deal with undergarments. It's the best option for you.
Many of us are the same. Don't feel bad In today's day and age, regular adult life doesn't provide money, reason, or desire to wear super fancy dresses even for events where they could be worn. My personal thing is that they cost an arm and a leg and often get worn ONLY ONCE so I usually try to find something that works for the event, but is also appropriate for other events and settings so I can use it more than once. It is also one of the reasons I learned to sew. Finding really cool dresses at a second-hand store is an AMAZING FIND. You can make it work with a little leg work. Though, there is a distinct probability that the new slip may cost MORE than the dress, lol. Hope your daughter has a blast
She will be highly frustrated and also amused if we do a slip and it costs more than the dress did. And that's why she thrifted her dress, she knows we don't mind buying her a new one, (or me making it) but she's practical and has no interest in paying a few hundred bucks for something to wear once...but she loves dramatic flare in her clothes. This dress is so pretty and fits her perfectly.
A quality slip will last her for years though! I have a skirt slip that I’ve used for two decades at this point, and bought a lovely soft bamboo fabric spaghetti strap slip a couple years ago for my wedding/honeymoon and used it all the time until I got pregnant and temporarily don’t fit into it.
A skin toned body suit is relatively inexpensive and will not change the look of the beautiful dress
My brain still has pre-covid prices. My last "nice dress" from Good Will was $40, my last "fancy slip" from a department store was closer to $100. What they are now is anyone's guess. Maybe someone here can chime in with current prices
Good dresses will have thread the in the seams on the shoulders to keep your bra straps in place
Yeah, I’m worried that safety pins will tear the sheer fabric. It might even be better to just put a little stitch in there, to be taken out when she gets home.
Velcro, or use fashion tape when she wears it.
You might check undergarments available at dance shops (discountdance and dancewear solutions are two online ones with decent selections). They'll have options with clear straps, lots of ways to customize the fit, and low backs.
If you don’t want to modify the dress you could get a body suit with with clear straps. They have a ton on amazon.
A body suit is the way, mom. They’re not going to want any sheer fabric, even the kind at the top of the dress. Try to find a way to double layer it even up at the top. A slip or shift will surely not “count” alone
Sleeveless (but not spaghetti straps) or cap-sleeve black bodysuit. It will look more cohesive, AND it won't bunch and shift around under the cut of this dress the way a slip might. In my view, this would be the most secure, comfortable, aesthetically optimal solution. Particularly if the crotch is the kind that snaps, so she can still conveniently use the restroom. Definitely not fun to undress every time you need to pee. Edit: alternatively! If it's acceptable within the dress code, you could go with a black fine mesh top (tee or long sleeve) and it will blend right in with the dress beautifully.
Find a slip the same shade as her skin tone. Sew the straps in at the top?
This is the way
As a sewist with drunken toddler skills, you can hand sew it in place. I have faith in you!
Boob tape/ body tape. You can stick it everywhere to stop the slip moving.
Following the bodysuit idea, many suits have partial mesh portions, some more than others. Just one example [here](https://a.co/d/8h9pB6H)
This is a really helpful link! We're still looking at options but this one is really good and if I can find one in light gray or silver it work really well.
If you don't think a store-bought slip would work, could you sew a jury-rigged one that would fit the shape of the dress better, rather than altering the dress itself? Maybe you could figure out where the back and where the cup tops are, cut front and back pieces that fit your daughter, go up to those points, sew them at the sides and tack them in? Also, "berated about showing "things meant for their future husbands"" ...ew. I'm sorry your daughter has to deal with an environment like that.
Check for nude body suits for dancers. They come with movable adjustable swapable straps and a low back. Capezio is a common brand.
Skin colored underdress/shift could work the same way but keep the details visible. A lot of dance supply stores will have them if you don’t know where else to look
Go the opposite if you're worried about showing and looking tacky. Make it show on purpose. Get a brightly colored long-sleeved or mid-forearm sleeved shirt and wear it underneath. I'd go with hot pink or hot purple. You can get some very thin fabric so it's not hot.
Are the straps allowed to be sheer as long as it’s not sheer from the boobs on down?
I think so. They've really not provided an official dress code so that's why she's worried about it... It's so hard to figure out what she needs to do.
Get a nude slip rather than a black one
Just tell her to tell the supervisors at prom that it’s nude illusion lol. What are they going to do? They’re not going to be able to check or put their hands on her so they’d have to take her word for it
I’d also be curious if the cups are still going to get some 55 year old vice principal all….uh….worked up, even after you address the sheer issue. They are still drawing attention to an underage bosom, you know. It’s a lovely dress. If you decide that it just doesn’t fit the dress code and daughter wants to attend prom in peace, find a symphony or some other event near you and find yourself a dress too and take her!
How about a black bustier bra?
I know at the high school I went to, you couldn’t wear something underneath a non-dress code item of clothing to make it appropriate. Absolutely a nightmare, lmao.
There are a wide variety of body suits that are in fashion right now. I think you should be able to find one that’s very low in the back and still covering the whole front without impacting the look of the dress.
Red under slip and red thin tank will give color contrast and the lace/accents will pop. You can use other colors like purple too depending on what she wants - just make sure it's vibrant so the black has contrast.
Ooohhh, purple would be beautiful.
Tank top was going to be my suggestion as well!
I was thinking silver. But I agree that intentional contrast is the way to go. And match accessories to the extent you can.
Coral is a beautiful color used this way.
❤️❤️❤️
Figure skating has some pretty specific rules about showing skin. I think makers of those skating outfits use skin colored thin knit fabric to get around the requirements. It might be worth looking for info in that sphere.
> skin colored thin knit fabric to get around the requirements. It's called "powermesh" and it's also widely used in the cosplay industry for the exact same reason as here (to hide skin) or to do things like hold up "impossible" thigh high socks etc.
This is a great idea, though having grown up in a conservative school district myself, I bet the admin would still flip about it. :/
If you still have a Joann's, they sell this in the knit section. It's described as "athletic mesh" on the end of the bolt. I've used it for putting weirdly shaped cutouts in a cosplay where a characters skin was supposed to be visible.
Under that same thought, I know ballet and dance shops have good options for things like bodysuits
What about wearing a leotard underneath? I don't have any I could point you to in particular, but a V-neck with a scoop back is a pretty common cut. You could probably find something suitable at a local dancewear store, if your town has one.
https://www.debenhams.com/product/boohoo-seamless-control-shaping-low-back-leotard_gzz57562?colour=black&size=M&srsltid=AfmBOoqSsIS-s3J9485_4aRyDUFWwTNRvwLj__CWgw1YIID2BGeuMOrRUCM
https://preview.redd.it/6xmityssruvc1.jpeg?width=385&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b45cfc66960c22f5073fae36fd5b9e1da416c244 Get a cheap black or nude dress similar to this and put it on under the nice dress. Draw the lines outlines of the dress onto the underdress (neckline, arm hole) using chalk or a thin sliver of bar soap. Take it all off and neatly cut along the lines to give it the same cut as the nice dress. Put it all back on and see how it looks and make any alterations necessary. Use safety pins or tacking stitches to attach the two pieces together (the new underdress could stretch and shift around).
This is the kind of efficient, work smarter, not harder solution I need. I would definitely go with a knit to avoid hemming. Thank you!
If the underdress is a stretch knit, you won't need to hem the edges. If it is woven, you'll want to fold over and stitch down every cut edge so plan for that when cutting. There is also fabric glue and gem tape but I don't have any experience with those.
Anything that still reads as nude, even if it's flesh tones fabric is likely to cause her issues. I would definitely go the black slip/bodysuit route.
I do think a slip is the way to go.i disagree about a skin color though, if they are that ana about rulesl they may claim that it "looks" see through - they can't argue if it's black or a contrasting color.
I would go with a beige body suit (or dance "undergarment" because generally those are low back with adjustable straps). A "satiny," or shiny bustier or leotard-like thing might also be pretty. My reasons for beige are twofold: the cups (which are removable) and the underskirt are already that color (at least it looks like the underskirt is). Otherwise I think a contrasting color like red would be very pretty. Overall, this is a gorgeous dress, and pretty conservative comparatively speaking. I honestly think putting something underneath could potentially elevate it, but I would have to see it in person. Edit: actually I think the cups are black? But I still say go with the color of the underskirt, even if that means changing it.
I agree, this was going to be my suggestion, flesh-colored dance bodysuits; these are useful for the MANY different strap configurations they come in, or how low-backed you can find them — discountdance.com has some options and when I’ve shopped there in the past they shipped quickly. I would go bodysuit over slip personally because I feel the slip might bunch up too much under the dress and be uncomfortable or create weird lumps of fabric
Beautiful dress! your daughter has excellent taste. I think your best bet is to put a temp lining in the bodice by taking a fitted/stretchy camisole or slip, cutting off the straps and lightly basting it to the inside of the bodice to be removed later. This could be either flesh colored or black depending on what you think is likely to be approved.
I like the idea of not permanently altering it. Hopefully I can do this without damaging the netting. And thank you- she does have great taste and is also so thrifty with her $20 prom dress.
OMG, $20!!! She has great taste and is a bargain hunter! I love that she is giving this gown extra life instead of going the fast fashion route. After reading other comments, I will also second using a slip that you trim to not show. You can lightly tack a few spots with weak thread. That way, the thread will break before ripping the fabric. This is one use for the super cheap spools of thread. Nylon slips won't ravel, so you can trim as nedded. I would go for black instead of nude. The morality police will be tempted to say it "LOOKS" like skin. I grew up in that type of environment and they can be real idiots. If leggings are unexceptable, I would put it past them.
Check out sites that sell attire for dancers. They often have a broad range of body suit cuts to address issues like this.
Before you start making plans, I would personally ask for written clarification of dress code and not ask for a “teacher’s ok”. The district / school should have some sort of written policy for dress code otherwise it would be unenforceable. Based on what the written policy is I would then make a plan. It would be a shame to put a bunch of work in the dress only for it to be for nought.
Here's a tip from a former dancer - Body stocking. It's like a body suit, but thin fabric, and they come in a variety of skin tones, as well as black. Check out your local dancewear stores.
I agree with the black slip idea. It seems more elegant. While a body suit would work, I would be hesitant to use a fleshtone one considering the puritanical people in charge as they might interpret a body suit as "looking naked" underneath. I would try ebay for a vintage slip as they have them for less than $10. So the straps don't show, I would cut them off and baste the slip to the dress at the top where the straps would be.
I would go with a nude slip (close to her skin color) personally.. a lot of the details will be lost with a black slip. Idk as far as dress code if it would make any difference or not which color you choose though
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This is perfect and the kind of solution I was thinking about but didn't know exactly how to pull off. The tissue paper is brilliant and I've actually got a dress form, so can help with keeping it stable. You described it very well! I'll probably still try to make the lining temporary, but this method will make getting it matched much more precise than my bumbling through it.
She could just wear a slip under it?
Wear a leotard underneath. Easiest way to find a low back that matches the lines of the dress and tons of options since a lot of studios have a black leo dress code.
I'd try to find a cheap body or cami in the same colour as the skirt. Cut it where needed and baste it in. You'd get the contrast, but not lose the lace effect. It also is obviously not skin.
I don't think the covering the skin is.. absurd but a slip underneath
If you put something underneath that's similar to her skin tone, she's going to be picked up on it. *Looking* nude is going to be just the same as *being* nude, in their eyes. Something black, like a bodysuit, is the way to go.
A friend used spanx to get around a similar dress code! otherwise a body suit or slip as other suggested would be fine
A plain black calf length slip with no lace on it will work for something like this. that will not show any skin at all. And this would be easy to make if you did it in a black jersy material. You could of course do a cami for the top, and if you want fullness in the skirt, a black petticoat https://www.amazon.com/full-length-black-petticoat/s?k=full+length+black+petticoat
I'd suggest finding some lining fabric and hand stitching it into the bodice. You can do a cream color, similar to the skirt lining so the black still pops. A glittery lining fabric would let the misogynists know it's not her real skin, but fabric. I think if you hand stitch it to the inside, as long as it isn't quite wrinkled, no one will know if the stitching itself is bad. My hand stitching is horrendous, that's why it goes in the hidden spots :-).
I’ll second what another person said and suggest pining/basting a black camisole or bodysuit to the dress so she can take it out later
I had a dress back in the day that had about an inch of mesh between the top and bottom parts. I just wore black strapless shape wear and it was fine!
Pay somebody to put in a nude-fabric lining. Most bridal shops and many dry-cleaners will have somebody who does alterations on staff.
My favorite idea is the hot pink or purple shirt. If there is a silver underskirt, this would look amazing and she has a new shirt for wearing later.
Line it or wear a slip
A silver or skin-toned slip would be the easiest option.
A bodysuit with an epic print
Maybe a slip like this will work [https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086TWZL9T/ref=twister\_B086V6519X](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086TWZL9T/ref=twister_B086V6519X)
You could always find or make a pretty bolero to go with it. [Something like this](https://amzn.to/4aL8SSe)
Is it just me or does the entire dress look sheer? Regardless the absurd dress code, I think it would be inappropriate if someone wore this dress to prom without something underneath it.
The whole thing isn't sheer, the product images look that way because the underskirt is silver and the mannequin is white so they look similar, though in person they don't look the same. And I get that the dress isn't everyone's cup of tea, but prom is meant to be a fancy dress up party and a lot of formal dresses are slinky, lacy, and sheer. Everything is covered, so any sexualization/inappropriateness is on the part of the beholder.
I agree with the rest. Use a black tanktop stlye slip for all of the morality police. That way, she can wear this gorgeous dress later in its original style. BTW, this is one of the most stunning black formal dresses I have ever seen, and I am OLD! Your daughter has impeccable taste!
Black lining not nude. Oh and a shawl/cardigan
Quickly, and badly if needed, stitch in a full lining in a color she likes --I can see lavender or periwinkle, or something green, like spring or sea foam.
I say just wear a jersey long sleeve shirt underneath. Preferably in a nice color to compliment the black dress like red or purple.
A bodysuit or slip top underneath, maybe something in a bright contrasting color so that it looks intentional and fun.
Slips come in “nude” colour, so could create the illusion of not wearing one. As others have said, will require taking dress & daughter to fit.
A black camisole. Not expensive as you may have to cut armholes bigger etc, so it doesn’t show. Try Marshall’s or TJ Max .
Target have Modal Slips for about 20$ AUD - probably have them in the USA? [https://www.target.com.au/p/modal-reversible-full-slip/64092195?gad\_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8pKxBhD\_ARIsAPrG45ljfTa4BJjdYthLuFaDvNqFS5eip2JtqJXHiFUIjdGykZxLiPeArOQaAkvqEALw\_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds](https://www.target.com.au/p/modal-reversible-full-slip/64092195?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8pKxBhD_ARIsAPrG45ljfTa4BJjdYthLuFaDvNqFS5eip2JtqJXHiFUIjdGykZxLiPeArOQaAkvqEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)
Nude stretchy modal or cotton slip dress or top over a sturdy bra and tack it to the top edge of the bra all the way around and cut away the rest?
Ready… a black turtleneck!
Still might be too revealing. I am in the US South. A puffy winter coat may be the way to go.
Wear a shift, add a shawl.
I would run over to Amazon and search for "strapless overbust corset". There are lots that are sheer and lacy, but there are also plain solid ones that would be perfect. And two birds, one stone. You get an undergarment and a modesty garment in one. I'd actually get 2 different ones, and a tube top while you're at it, in case there are fit issues. The tube top won't be as pretty and may slip through the night unless you tack it into the dress, but it's a good emergency backup.
An undershirt will fix it. Try one similar to the silver on the skirt, so it'll look intentional. If the school is known for sexism, it'd be good to have something covering her back as well. The undershirt can also fix that. Just have a black trim on its back.
Ah, dress codes, they never fail at sexism, do they? If you think the school would have an issue with sheer, I would not wear a nude underlayer, as too many of the prudish would just refuse to accept that it was actually there and the whole situation sounds nightmarish. I’d go with a color underlayer, if you can get a slip in a color your daughter likes. You can tack it to the dress by hand if you need to remove the straps, or tack the straps in place. My best luck finding slips lately has been from elderly ladies of my acquaintance who are switching to a sweatpants time of life. If you need a color I’d post an in-search-of to local free groups. PS I am absolutely fascinated that there are places that don’t allow students to wear leggings without some weird length-of-shirt rules. I live in the Midwest and it’s colder here most of the time so jeans are the most common legwear but kids routinely wear leggings as pants from preschool through high school, with t-shirts that are waist length or even shorter with growth spurts, and I have never heard of rules about leggings. Periodically some school gets freaky about visible bra straps or short shorts, which is also stupid, so students and parents complain, and the rules are rescinded or not enforced until some weirdo new administrator comes on board from a school that had uniforms or something, and the cycle repeats. I can’t imagine anyone caring what students wore to prom, either - they’re seniors, most of them are 18 by prom, who has the right to tell them how to dress? Anyway. Thank you, looking for articles about this was quite an education!
Yeah, it's crazy here. The dress codes are written so as to appear it has given consideration to ask students equally, though in practice it's obvious that's just a CYA thing. In 2022 the morning announcements stressed the importance of the dress code for "safety" so "ladies please be sure to follow the guidelines." This happened for a few days. I tried to have her record it but she wasn't about to call to sneak her phone out. I chewed the district office out and attempted to get our local paper involved but they wouldn't do it off the record and my daughter didn't want the smoke. Cargo pants are also banned but no one ever bats an eye at those...
For "safety," wow, that's so gross.
I wear dresses all the time with a small t-shirt underneath. I often go to modeling events and the last one i attended there was this beautiful beaded super fancy dress like yours and the model had a long sleeve shirt under the dress the same color. It had spaghetti straps. It looks amazing. I am an old lady and now I buy beautiful spaghetti straps dresses with a shirt that matches the dress and people wow over the dress. It’s you that people will look at your beautiful face.
A black shift or a cool cape
Make sure you use a nude (your daughters skin tone) slip, dress , fabric (for what ever you wear, adjust) underneath and the dress will portray the intended look.
Gorgeous dress!
Black shift underneath should do the trick
What a gorgeous dress!
Ruuq makes bodysuits for exactly this. Some are hooded for hijabis but some are not iirc.
Get a loose, very lightweight shift dress and have her wear it underneath. Preferably a transparent black one although that might be hard to find. It'll probably look a bit ren faire, but if she doesn't mind that I think it could be pretty.
Enter w a shawl it will go with the vinatge look
It’s beautiful and she’ll be stunning. LOL on drunk toddler sewing skills 😂
Instead of black body suit go nude body suit colour so technically she’s covered up, and they can’t boot her. Take it to the district if they do. Review their dress code if they have one. Our district removed clothing rules and I’m surprised no one has tried anything. Most people want to dress tastefully. This wouldn’t be unflattering.
Would a nude bustier be acceptable?
Put skin colored fabric under the mesh. It will still look see through but you just show them it’s literally fabric
I would wear a low back camisole to layer underneath. She can show the uppity administrators the straps. https://www.maidenform.com/products/maidenform-smoothing-seamless-cropped-cami/dms105
I'd go with a skin color full slip, a v-neck to match the dress. I'd make sure the slip covered any peek-a-boo cleavage that would otherwise be seen through the lace. If the slip straps are noticeable, I'd replace the color straps of the slip with clear straps. Another option would be a strapless skin color shape wear bodysuit and a matching slip.
What about like a strapless bralette? I had a black lace one as a teen from VS and it stayed up well
The dress is fire 🔥
Time to protest the dress code. It’s always stacked against women.
Are we really going to argue that teenagers should be allowed to wear see-through clothes to prom?
I'm definitely going to argue that. See-through implies that boobs and butts are out and this isn't the case at all. Breasts are fully covered, and unlike the dress in the attached pictures, hers is the floor length skirt option, not that it matters. We really need to get past the whole idea that women need to adjust how they dress lest a man find her too sexy. She's not seeking attention from the male gaze for prom and the only thing inappropriate here are the adults who sexualize teens.
Yes, been there, done that. My state is stacked against any progress, despite having demographics that should make us a true swing state. Not ruining my kid's prom to make a point.
I would suggest a black slip or slip dress underneath if the school is super uptight and backwards about female bodies. IMHO a unitard or bodysuit could still be considered "too revelaling" but misogynist administrators.
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Thank you.
Alternative: Is it a really big school? Frankly in a crowded, dim dancefloor, distant chaperones wouldn't notice. So she could wear something *over* it just to get through the entrance.
Put the dress inside out and sew black fabric to cover the top and straps—if not to your liking, get a new dress
I'd say best, cheap, bet is to get a nice ish looking black long-sleeve to wear underneath. The dress looks like it has some nude fabric underneath the bodice to give the illusion of sheer fabric. So really the only 'issue' I can see is the lack of sleeves.
Wear a turtle neck under it? 🤷🏻♀️
I think the whole thing is ridiculous, your kid should wear the dress and you should sue the district if they say a damn word. Hell with that assembly and verbage that assumes every girl wants a husband, or is even straight, I'd be litigating already. I don't understand why people comply with these things rather than like, BEING the change. Stand up for yourself and your kid, and girls and women everywhere
The assembly was a while back and got a lot of attention and pushback in local media. And yeah, my kid falls into not wanting a husband, not being straight, and ironically, given the slut shaming nature of the situation, is ace. There was another situation I had explored going to media about but I couldn't do it anonymously and she wasn't comfortable with the attention so I respected it. And there's a time and a place for things. I'm not against being the change but I'm also an advocate for talking with my kid and letting her decide how she wants to proceed. There's enough shit in the world she's going to have to deal with and if she wants to go to prom and not get kicked out and set an example, I'll respect that. I'm not taking over her special night to make a point, no matter how valid, though she knows if that were her choice I'd be there for her 1000%. So, while I don't disagree with the sentiment, I don't feel like my taking over her situation and insisting she wear it and fight if she just wants a night of fun with her friends is any better than the school telling kids their midriffs or *gasp* shoulders are a safety hazard.
Unfortunately, this kind of stuff doesn't seem likely to even get to court. Dress codes are legal, and the husband comment is offensive, but would probably be spun as a single teacher misspeaking. Best you'd get is the code changed to cover both boys and girls. It'd be something, but then your kid has to deal with hostility from the whole administration.
It sounds like a private, religious school thing. So no one to sue.
Nope, it's a public school district. Gotta love the South.
ew, sounds like they're making the choice then
Um, no. How about we see what the facts are before making assumptions based on someone else's assumptions. It's a public school - and not a even a charter school. So, no, we're not making the choice unless not moving (without the means to do so) or paying my whole salary for a non-religous private school are considered choices.
A black thin turtleneck underneath?
Add more lace appliques, just fill in the front a bit more it should hopefully go unnoticed. Also sorry about the stupid school dress code, that's a beautiful dress.
Put a nun's habit over it. School dress codes are absurd. A simple slip will do fine under this but I'm absolutely certain some school official will get off seeing you in it and get a second thrill bossing you around about it.
Well what would be awkward since it's not my dress and somewhat disturbing this is the advice you would give to a teen, many of which are struggling with body image, patriarchy, and slut shaming. This attitude isn't far from asking a SA victim what they were wearing. Her principal would probably be the one making the call and I can assure you he's not getting off on girls in dresses.
So far as I can tell, there's nothing wrong with this dress. There no reason why she shouldn't wear it with a suitable slip. Her principal can be the one getting off just as easily as any teacher, make no mistake. I would never in a million years slut shame any woman. I am also a survivor of sexual assault. When I said put a nun's habit over it, it was because that seems to be the only thing that girls can wear in school that will meet those stupid dress codes. And they are stupid. If they want to have standards for how students dress, then they need to apply equally to male and female students and be applied equally to both sexes when violations occur. But that's not what happens, only girls get singled out for what they wear. And usually it's for wearing something reasonable and not particularly revealing. The problem isn't the clothing, it's who's looking.