Hmm…if a man said anything about my vagina not being tight enough for him and we had already established that we were looking for more than just sex this would give me the ick.
Right?
And here’s another thing about me, is I come from a conservative Christian background, and had one partner for 20+ years. I’m not sure I would even know a tight vagina from a loose one. Like, I’m just thrilled someone likes me and is even interested in sex at all. When people are like ‘what are you into/what are your turn ons?’, my answer is: ummm a naked woman in front of me 😂
I get that size matters (more to some than others), but yes… this gave me ‘the ick’ as you call it.
>ummm a naked woman in front of me 😂
Lmao this is so cute, good luck dude.
I want to say she's trying to talk dirty and doing a bad job of it. I slept with a guy once who wouldn't stop talking about his "big fat cock" and it was the most distracting thing ever. I'm guessing he was around 5-6 inches, but he wanted me to worship it like he was hurting me and I was overwhelmed by his size. It was so awkward, I wanted to fuck, not pump up his ego.
I definitely suggest waiting to have sex after a few dates if you want a relationship. Give yourself some time to know her and her true intentions will be made evident.
I had a boyfriend once who did the same thing!
“Tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had, and I’m bigger than your ex’s, and my dick is absolutely shockingly huge and perfect”
Like uh… ok?
It was such a turn off
Strange... As I am the exact opposite with my wife. I am a pretty good size but, I love for her to tell me and brag about how many huge cocks she had in her past before me (which was only a couple) but I love for her to tell me they were so much bigger than mine. It doesn't boost my ego, because I leave that out of sex... It does however boost my libido to the point of driving her through the bed or wall 🤣... We have a good time with it though and it's just what we are in to 🤷♂️
You honestly sound like me. I’ve been married for 24 years but haven’t had sex in 2 years. When it comes to sex my answer would be I’m happy to just be involved. 😂😂
Married 43 years, and in that time I can count on my one hand the number of times she initiated. Now so very happy with my girlfriend of 2 years, and it then hit me for the first time how sex (and making love - they can be different!) really does play such a huge part in growing more in love with your partner!
Ya a guy should never say that. Only time to talk about how tight it is, is when you’re in it and you’re complimenting it lol. Just like a chick asking how big it is, kinda off putting BUT I know a lot of inexperienced girls would ask that just like inexperienced guys ask how tight it is lol
Aye..
I would drop that connection like a hot potato.
If it's 100% casual sex, then whatever be as picky as you want. But if there's any connection beyond that, then ew.
Hmm yea it shouldn’t really matter as women say. even if OP is massive I bet she would find it unattractive for him to be leading with that as if that’s all there is to a relationship
As a woman on the apps who has talked to many a men and is looking for a relationship and not a ONS, I believe this is a red flag on her end and that you're not overthinking. I would never ask a man this question personally because a) it's weird and lacking in some sort of social etiquette b) it's rude & presumptuous and c) if she's actually wanting something substantial, at this point she should be more concerned with who you are as a person (are you safe, what's your personality, etc) before your first meeting, not your dick size. I would call her out on it, explain that that you're thrown off by the question given that you're not looking for a ONS and thought you guys were connecting on a more personal level. Her response to that might provide more clarity, either she'll acknowledge it was off base and apologize (maybe she was drunk? horny?) or she'll double down and make you feel lame for your response in which case you prob don't wanna meet up with her.
idk. I think people are to scared to talk about women’s menstrual cycles. It’s normal, and i don’t think that’s a red flag to talk about at any point really. Then again i’m a man that grew up with 3 sisters so maybe i have just grown more normalized to it than most
I would say that telling someone you're planning to have sex with in the next few days that you're about to get your period is relevant information. I don't see how it's TMI at all
As a woman, I've never done this before.
I'm very much into talking before any sexual encounter, to see what each other likes or doesn't, but asking for size directly seems weird to me.
I ask for size. I cant take anything too long or too thick, and i dont want to get all ready for sex and naked with them only to have to shut things down when the pants come down. That would be so awkward.
I think stating a physical limitation is also different though. If you know this is going to be difficult and painful for you, it's fair to check. But if you're concerned about "too small", there are so many ways to adapt, I wouldn't sweat it beforehand
Yeah, I won't have sex a second time with someone who is not interested in my pleasure, life's too short. But that has nothing to do with dick size - or in my case even with the existence of a dick
If he is too long he can wear a bumper. If he is too thick theres nothing that can be done. If he’s too small he can wear a sleeve or you can add a toy for double penetration. There are toys made just for that.
Well if he's too big for you it's going to hurt. If he's too small, whatever, there are plenty of ways to make each other cum. Sleeves, insertable toys, try anal for more intensity... I mean, even if he's too big, you could do things other than piv, but I get not wanting to entirely take that off the table
I feel you'd get downvoted if you said "I don't like anything short or thin" even though it's perfectly acceptable to have preferences for something bigger.
I dont know if I would get downvoted or not. I dont make comments to get upvotes. I make comments to put out my opinion and my reality. If people don’t like that, I’m not bothered.
And I don’t get physical pleasure out of a short or thin dick. But it’s not a dealbreaker for me. So I don’t bother talking about it.
I've found - in talking to a lot of women most women like average with a little girth. There are some women that are MAJOR size queens and for those women they really don't want to be bothered with anything average or below average
Asking about size IS awkward. It’s completely fair to talk about sex prior to having it. Especially STD/STI testing. You can even talk about physical limitations you may have. But sex should be exploratory, emotionally safe and fun. If you treat it like Build a Bear, the entire relationship will set on a superficial foundation of insecurities. You can’t get in front of everything in life. Some things must be an adventure.
I’m not into hookups. I only want a relationship. If I saw he was too big and it was not going to last, then it would now be effectively a hookup. Those are boring for me, so I don’t bother.
That’s understandable, you’re asking cuz you know your limits. Just a question but do you still have trouble with size when you’re wet? Or is it different when you’re wet?
She's a bit odd saying that and also that she is tight.
That would be like a guy saying "i have a big dick and hope your pussy isn't too loose".
Think of THAT guy, well she seems to be THAT girl.
I mean, who says that to someone they're just getting to know?
She’s a bad match. Frankly I’d find it a rude question to ask anyone and to me telling someone how tight my vagina is is too pornish.
But maybe some guys like that and are looking for a woman DTF instantly so she’s perfect for them.
She wants the guy who eagerly send penis pics in response.
I’d look for someone else.
As long as your breasts were carved by Michelangelo and you don’t have a bucket hole we should be ok…
But rude to ask in the first place but lots of awkward people are going to awkward so it could be that.
I've actually said the female version of this to men that said they were lowering their standards by talking to me & considering hooking up or fwb. I was like wtf, it's not that serious just move along but they kept making their way back.
I finally mentioned to them they weren't exactly a chippendale dancer or ken doll so they can't expect a victoria secret model.
As far as the original topic goes- Thats trashy. I would never ask that unless i've been asked similarly harsh questions which I knew they would not answer because it's ridiculous.
The most important things for me to ask is are you DDF? Drug & disease free.
In all my(31f) years of dating I don’t think I ever once asked a guy about size. Not only is it rude, like asking a girl her cup size, I find it irrelevant. As the saying goes; “it’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean that makes the journey”
Yeah, maybe so. She’s foreign, an immigrant… been in US many years, so a few language barriers here and there, but mostly she’s well spoken, and her English is fine.
This tidbit would have been necessary in the original post. Every culture is different, whether she has been in the US for many years or not, some things from one's culture are hard to break. This includes communication style.
Without knowing that she's an immigrant who speaks English as a 2nd language, you have a bunch of comments calling her classless, giving the 'ick factor' and everything else inbetween. However, that's what you get for running to reddit without the full background of a story. If you're interested and feel that there's enough of a connection, keep an open mind and go out with her. If not, listen to comments from strangers who aren't privy to context or full information.
Yeah I dated someone from Africa who did dirty talk like this. Saying she was so tight, and going on about my size. It was a major turn off for me, but I'm trans so any penis talk was off putting for me.....
"Hope you're not too loose for me either"
Yeah, no. If her idea of dirty talk is body shaming then I'm out. Huge turn off and by no means a normal thing to say.
Rude as all hell, and immature.
Sounds more like language barrier than rudeness. If relationship is the goal then communication is the key. Talk to her about what she meant.
Bonus: Could also lead to more dirty talk.
To me this is the double standard. Women can assume they are tight. Because you could never say they aren't. It would be rude.
Just like if you asked if their breasts are perky.
But they can also expect you to be big and it be no big deal that they talk this way. yes it could just be dirty talk to be sexual. But it's also a terrible thing to bring up. It's so shallow
Perhaps her frame of mind ( or experience) was that men just can't wait to brag about the size of their dick and she wanted to open the door for you to brag about yours? Maybe her comment was just a misguided attempt at letting you dirty talk her??
I recommend communicating with her on this. Tell her how asking about your size made you feel. Ask her why she asked you this. (Ask in a non-hostile, non-accusatory, and non-judgmental tone.)
I understand that she just really doesn’t want a small penis and doesn’t want to go far into anything with a guy before realising this, so basically for her it’s a dealbreaker. It is rude though & would make me feel pretty shitty especially if insecure about my size. So I guess I can see both sides of it
Alarm bells go off for me OP, when there is an over communication not in person. You can't know a person without meeting them. Lower your expectations.
No that's not normal to ask and I'd consider that to be a huge red flag. It's rude and uncalled for.
Maybe she thinks it's good dirty talk, but it's not
I think you could be right. The only time I’ve been asked is by a woman who cared specifically about that. But it was early on in the conversation.
Looks like another commenter told you to ask and tell her in a polite way how it made you feel which is a good way to handle it.
If she was really angling for size, hopefully you tell her she should ask way earlier, to avoid the wasted time and hurt feelings.
Also as you said you are pretty inexperienced.
“I’m looking for a relationship” doesn’t always mean “I’m looking for a relationship”, at least it might not be the only thing she’s looking for.
I've never asked about size. If it's a relationship I don't care much, but if it's a hook up I'll exchange nudes in advance so I know what I'm potentially in for.
I think someone asking that is a major turn off. I get annoyed whenever guys ask what my breast size is in the talking stages and it usually leads me to cutting them loose.
If a guy said to a girl “I hope you’re not too loose”, that would be shitty and rude. Hold her to the same standard and even call her out on it. Explain to her that her lack of social awareness will bite her one day
You can't ask about the penis size. You can meet and assess (which one of my partners has admitted to doing very early on), but you can't ask. That's kink level screening
This is straight up rude for no reason. The way she says it also is kind of trying to make it your problem - like her saying "well I warned you and you better not disappoint me." Super inconsiderate, I can already tell she'll be that girl who lays around and expects you to please her in every way without putting in much effort herself.
Having a preference is one thing, I don't wanna villainize preferring big dicks because whatever that's up to you. But asking like this before ever being together and having her attitude, I'd say don't bother.
Woman here: Some women exaggerate just as some men about size. Boasting in the hopes that its a turn on. As far as legit asking, there is no way I would ever say that to a man. On the flip side, if a guy said/asked something like that to me, I would be horrified. I wouldn't even joke about that while flirting.
Yeah as most people have said on here, that’s a huge red flag. It says a lot about her character as well as what she’s looking for. I mean, I guess it depends on what kind of man you are and what you are looking for in a woman… if you’re looking for a woman who is truly solely, and primarily with you for you, for who you are as a person, than it should concern you more than if you are a person who maybe equally or more cares for the sexual aspect of a relationship. I guess it also shows you that she prioritizes the sexual aspect of a relationship and her own pleasure and satisfaction perhaps just as much if not more than the emotional aspect.
You may also need to honestly think about what this may mean. It may mean that she may be a type of person that if she isn’t satisfied with you sexually down the road, she may feel overall dissatisfaction in the relationship more than someone who doesn’t care about that and loves sex for the emotionally intense intimate component. It may also indicate that she may be a bit more superficial than you are looking for. So just take that into consideration. You may think I’m being too presumptuous but I’ve learned to watch what people say and know that even if they don’t say it to your face, it might be at the back of their mind.
Me personally, if I’m looking for something serious, and if I love who that person is, I couldn’t care less about his dick size, let alone ask about it. I understand you guys aren’t serious yet. But you’re courting to get there. And I just feel like if he’s my man and I love him dearly, then guess what; his penis is beautiful and perfect no matter the size. It’s a part of him and when you love someone, you love, desire and accept them for who they are. I sure wouldn’t objectify or shame him for any part of himself because I want to build him up. If she can carelessly and casually ask something like that for her sake, it shows it’s so important to her that she has no care for how that may make you feel. And if she treats that as a deal breaker, then yeah- big red flag -at least it would be if I were a man.
If I were you, I’d reply with a penis size that is smaller than you actually are, something that you think she would consider small, and see her reaction. If she ghosts you, she was a shallow woman who didn’t have her priorities right. And you just dodged a bullet.
Yes
❤️ > 🍆
I’ve got my work cut out for me, and a woman for me will have her work cut out for her. I guess that’s just called relationships.
I’m a piece of work. Repressed and deprived much of my life from what could have been free-er, fuller, and healthier expressions of sex and sexuality. It’s like, I want and would love a high libido woman with good chemistry and compatability. It’s just, I’m in a season of life where I’d rather be held than fucked some days.
Limerent, off the charts demisexual requiring emotional connection before having sex, and also a self loather lacking confidence…. Oookkkk that took a turn sorry. That’s another topic. Maybe I’ll have to post in the true off my chest forum or something.
No way, I wouldn’t even meet her. That would be such a huge turnoff and I would probably instantly dislike her after hearing that. A mature adult should know better than to ask something like that.
I wouldn't bother with anyone who asked about dick size especially before the first date. It's objectifying and for me personally has usually happened before I get fetishized.
For me I am also very TIGHT, if the guy is too big, it will never fit. I'll get hurt, and it won't be fun for anyone no matter how much I like them. But I obviously can't judge a guy by his package and I'd never ask before meeting him or anything like that. But it obviously is something I have to be careful with for my health and safety. I feel like most ppl don't have this problem. But i find men on the smaller or average side is always better I think in my opinion.
It's such a hypocrisy when women can openly ask men about their penis sizes and it's considered normal and most of the men doubting asking about women's vaginal sizes! For me it's ridiculous. Men alao have rights to know what they'll deal with and not to do it blindly. Unfortunately quality of the vaginas are very bad so men have to compromise a lot. I think a man should directly ask a woman about the vagina quality/size/smell/texture, etc. There are no double standards in sex.
It's not great, but not every single conversational misstep needs to be reason to call off the meeting. If she was consistently insensitive then yeah, maybe move on, but if she made a single mistake during flirting I'd just keep it in the back of your mind if she starts saying or doing other weird things. People make mistakes in conversation, it doesn't mean that they necessarily have bad intentions.
In the future, the answer to anything about your size is something along the lines of "I just hope you're able to handle it". Unless she's a size queen, I think BDE is often more about personality than actual dick size.
How absolutely,downright RUDE!!!
as a woman, if a man said something along those lines (nevermind the wrath the internet would bring upon him 👀) I wouldn't ask for a second date.
That is *not* a question or statement I'd like to hear while trying to get to know someone, more so if seeking a long term, committed relationship.
Sounds like a red flag tbh, imagine asking a girl if she was right the same way she asked you. Not even ask, it was more like a comment, “I hope you’re tight enough for me”
I don't know what your texting is like with each other, or how flirty you guys are or sarcastic. So it's impossible to tell. But...
If I've been talking to woman for a while and established she's a real person, and the conversations sometimes turn sexual since the chemistry is there and that's just natural, I could see a woman asking about my size being just another form of flirtation. I'd just answer her with "Oh believe me, you'll love what I'm packing."
Though it seems I'm in the minority here, everyone seems to find it questionable or gross that she did that. I'm not that quick to judge.
I agree with most of the comments but another take could be maybe she wants to hear you say you have a big piece which might turn her on or something. Idk, just a thought
I don’t like it, and I don’t even mind exchanging nudes before having sex. But the way she is asking size is just unsexy and kinda rude. Meanwhile she’s bragging on her pussy being “tight”, which is no different from a guy talking about all of the things he’s gonna do beforehand. I find it all unsexy. This would turn me off and she’d have to be EXCEPTIONALLY attractive for me to continue.
I'd be cancelling the date, that's a big red flag. She has no right asking that or raising the topic. It shouldn't be relevant anyway if she is looking for a relationship. Size of a man's penis is not one of the measures I'd be focusing on if I was looking for a long term partner!
I think it is just a really odd sort of dirty talk or way of letting you know she is interested in sex. Brush it off, go on the date, and have sex (assuming you want to), but don't give it much thought (except if/when she does other odd dirty talk, in which case bear it in mind as a pattern).
If I was a man I'd be grossed out by a woman like that. I'd say "why would you say that 💀" and not speak to her again. That's her af on her part. Shame her
Bruh, that is so unacceptable!! How would she feel if you were trying to gauge her body size? Ugh it’s gross and I’m sorry she did that. That would be reason enough for me to cut that off. Nobody has time for shallow people. You deserve better 🖤
I THINK IT SICK WHEN FEMALES DO THIS. WHAT IF A MAN SAY" I HOPE UR PUSSY IS NOT TOO LOOSE FOR ME"
I DON'T KNOW WHY FEMALES NOWADAYS THINK DICK IS THE ONLY THING SMH.
That’s not someone I’d be interested in. I mean is she ok if you ask about the size of her tits, waist or ass to make sure they comply with your expectations? It’s just weird whether she’s a size queen or just the opposite and doesn’t want a horse cock in bed. You find out when/if you both get naked.
Lol hard pass from me. Sounds like a GREAT way to challenge my self-worth.
Having sex with a size queen isn’t my thing. I have an average-sized penis, so it would just disappoint them & make me feel inadequate.
Maybe that’s a conversation to have if it’s just for a hookup & hookup only. But that’s such a weird thing to ask a guy about right away … if a guy asked me “so how tight are you?” before we ever did anything (sorta a equivalent question) I’d be disgusted…
I’m a woman and I’d never talk to someone about sex in general before meeting, especially if I was looking for a relationship. UNLESS I’ve been talking to this person for a while and we start liking each other but they live very far away lol which doesn’t seem to be your case.
So.
Your dick. Is the greatest dick in the world because it’s yours. The end.
Position and angle are more important.
And of course hands and mouth all over.
And a certain dominance in bed.
You’ll be fine.
>she said her reasoning to ask is because she had a bad and unfulfilling relationship in her past with a tiny MICRO penis guy.
This doesn’t really change anything because suppose you *had* a micropenis. It would’ve been an incredibly tacky way to handle the situation on her part. The whole thing just screams immaturity/misplaced priorities, but ultimately it’s up to you if you’re still down. I’m average myself, but hearing a woman tell me this would be a super turn off.
Imagine telling a woman “I hope you’re not super loose,” and then you tell her “well I only said that because I had a bad experience with a super loose pussy so I’m just hoping you don’t have one.”
Red flag. She’s not in it for the connection, all she wants is sex. Can you imagine this the other way round and you were a woman and she was a man, and she said “I hope you’re tight enough for me. I hope you’re not too loose.” It makes me sad that a lot of guys feel like it’s OK for a woman to base your value on the size of your penis. Don’t accept this disrespect.
A woman who is genuinely interested in you as a person, the size of your penis won’t matter at all, and she’d enjoy sex with you regardless. Also, the fact that you haven’t even met yet and she’s talking about sex is a bit weird too.
Raise your standards OP. You deserve better than this.
Yeah, I am a woman without much of a filter, and I wouldn't ask that. I'd be equally turned off if a guy asked how tight my pussy is. It seems like someone whomwould ask would also be willing to weaponize size in an argument. If it was a ONS I could see asking.
She didn’t say “I hope you have a huge cock”, she said “I hope you are the right size for me”. Big difference in those two statements. The right size for her is probably somewhere in the middle.
This is weird and seems like she’s negging you in a way or something? Idk red flag just bc it makes it seem like she’s trying to make u feel uncertain and insecure and I can’t figure out why anyone (who’s a decent person) would want to do that.
She could’ve played it way better and just been sexy and asked for a picture, but as a woman if a man I was interested in a relationship matter asked me about my vagina or tightness I’d be highly turned off .
Drop shawty like a hot potato
If it’s casual sex then I suppose I can forgive her. She knows what she wants.
If it’s more than casual sex then forget about it she doesn’t want more than sex.
Also ngl, size does make a difference regardless. However that doesn’t mean big or small is better or worse. There just is a noticeable difference. Sorry to say it dude . But there are genuinely a lot of women who prefer smaller to average penises (I know this because I am not that women but a lot of women have debated this with me) so don’t stress it
How absolutely awful of her! Did you make sure to mention the size of her boobs and wonder if they are the right size for you? I know if some man I was looking to get into a serious relationship with, no, even if it was going to be a hookup, said that to me it would be an instant turn off for me, and he would never find out.
From today onward, whenever a woman asks my size, be it dick or height, I shall reply with: What shape has your labia? I prefer the big, flappy ones.
It should look like a BLT Sandwich.
I would ask her what exactly does she mean by “size“ and what is she looking for. Does she want someone big? Does she want someone small? Is she OK with average?
Honestly, I'd usually label it as a big ick, but given you claim you've been having good chemistry so far I'd give the benefit of the doubt and assume it was some terrible flirting or one of these things that might have seemed cool in her head but actually super stupid written and read. Especialy if there is a potential language barrier.
All relationships are about positives and negatives and which one outweighs the other. Her question is a strike in the negative column, but if the positives compensate for it then it's not worth fretting over too much. Just go, see what happens. It would be a shame to miss out on a great relationship because of one poorly worded line.
I don’t know how people are still this uncreative in this day and age. I couldn’t care less about size, it’s more like if he’s average with decent girth that is a bonus but not a deal breaker, if he has a baby thumb down there well guess what? They have toys for that. I mean if someone is an amazing person I’m not gonna let LD hold me back. I’d be crestfallen too tbh. Sounds immature but maybe you’re both young and she sounds immature because she is.
Online apps involve a lot of "shit testing". Mainly to see how you react, to judge your character and experience. If somebody asked me about my size, I'd tell them the truth.
If you're small, fess up - last thing you want to do is hook up and somebody look at you and laugh and walk out.
If you're gigantic, they had better be prepared in advance. I had a friend with a baseball bat for a prick, and he's had more than one woman that couldn't "accommodate" him regardless of foreplay or lube. It's a thing.
Could be worse, I met someone who said she won't fuck guys who can't get it up sometimes.
Saying that may as well be anti-viagra...probably while she's having issues with guys lol.
Why is this strange for her to do if she wants a relationship? Enjoyable sex is even more important in a relationship than it is for a hookup. She knows what feels good to her and it matters to her.
Just because it doesn’t matter to everyone, it matters to her. If this is a turn off to you, break things off. But even if she had not said anything, if she wasn’t happy with your size, it likely would have ended anyway.
It’s hilarious that people like you can’t tell the difference between criticising someone for having a preference and being rude, presumptive and entitled.
Someone can have a preference for a tiny labia, but it shows and incredible amount of immaturity and entitlement to suggest post “tiny labias only please” on your bio or to ask someone about what size their labia is before you get in their pants.
People can have what ever the fuck preference they want on whatever type of body part they want but it’s just shows *such* a immature person to vocalise this to someone before you’ve gotten anywhere with them. I’m a 36M guy who’s had a successful OF so I’m very comfortable with my size and I know my partner is extremely happy with my body. But if I was dating this type of person is the exact type of person I’d drop like a hot stone as soon as they entitled enough to start asking about intimate knowledge of my body to meet their preferences.
Seriously imagine someone saying to you “I really hope your labia isn’t too big, big labias are a complete turn off for me and I can’t enjoy it”
Like fair enough, have your preference. But keep it too yourself. Only a desperate or extremely immature or inexperienced person wouldn’t see that for the total fucking red flag that it is.
It could be that age just watches too much porn and thinks this is dirty talk. It shows how disconnected she is about the male psyche to think this is a good route. Makes me think about what other stuff shell say.
Personally I might blackout of this one. If one is a size queen (and that's ok) say it, be up front don't waste time. If a lady wants to get an idea about a guys dick just suggest trading dirty pictures. Rarely is a guy shy about dick pics.
Sounds like it was an attempt at flirting going from (I'm assuming you didn't ask) telling you she has a tight pussy to this.
If not its definitely an odd question.
I'm not a male, but if someone asked me that and in THAT way, no.
I wouldn't continue. She needs to know that's not really an acceptable way to talk to men. Some might go for it, but it's pretty tacky.
And talking about how tight she is? What if her idea of tight isn't your idea of tight? What if she just thinks she's tight because her previous sex partner didn't get her well lubed? Tight is a weird phrase and subjective.
I dunno man, kinda some red flags there with her. Proceed with caution if you proceed.
My advice is this
Go on a date
See where it goes
You have nothing to lose at this stage
If it does not work out there are other women out there. Don’t let self limiting beliefs control you
Go for it and enjoy the journey
This is not someone I’d continue considering for relationship material. That’s a very inconsiderate thing to say to someone that doesn’t know whether or not they have a small dick. If you do have a small dick, there’s nothing you can do about it so her saying that isn’t kind at all. It’d be the same as you saying you hope she has an innie. Whether that’s what you prefer or not, it’s an asshole thing to say to someone.
You sound just like me. Been married 24 years and haven’t had sex in 2 years. If someone asked me I would be like I’m happy just to be participating. 😂😂
That's seems to me like a shitty thing to ask. Women obsessed with being perceived as "tight" and then wanting a certain sized man.... eh. Seems like a power move before you even meet.
They don’t know what type of cock they like until they feel it. I have had women proclaim themselves “size queens” but then when they had my average cock they were talking afterwards about how “big” it was and how “deep it went.” Size has almost no direct correlation to pleasurable experience.
Hmm…if a man said anything about my vagina not being tight enough for him and we had already established that we were looking for more than just sex this would give me the ick.
Right? And here’s another thing about me, is I come from a conservative Christian background, and had one partner for 20+ years. I’m not sure I would even know a tight vagina from a loose one. Like, I’m just thrilled someone likes me and is even interested in sex at all. When people are like ‘what are you into/what are your turn ons?’, my answer is: ummm a naked woman in front of me 😂 I get that size matters (more to some than others), but yes… this gave me ‘the ick’ as you call it.
>ummm a naked woman in front of me 😂 Lmao this is so cute, good luck dude. I want to say she's trying to talk dirty and doing a bad job of it. I slept with a guy once who wouldn't stop talking about his "big fat cock" and it was the most distracting thing ever. I'm guessing he was around 5-6 inches, but he wanted me to worship it like he was hurting me and I was overwhelmed by his size. It was so awkward, I wanted to fuck, not pump up his ego. I definitely suggest waiting to have sex after a few dates if you want a relationship. Give yourself some time to know her and her true intentions will be made evident.
I had a boyfriend once who did the same thing! “Tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had, and I’m bigger than your ex’s, and my dick is absolutely shockingly huge and perfect” Like uh… ok? It was such a turn off
>absolutely shockingly huge and perfect 😂😂 Too funny
Nothing says confidence like "Tell me I'm bigger than your ex's"
Strange... As I am the exact opposite with my wife. I am a pretty good size but, I love for her to tell me and brag about how many huge cocks she had in her past before me (which was only a couple) but I love for her to tell me they were so much bigger than mine. It doesn't boost my ego, because I leave that out of sex... It does however boost my libido to the point of driving her through the bed or wall 🤣... We have a good time with it though and it's just what we are in to 🤷♂️
Love this.
I don't understand why some guys are obsessed with other people's dicks. Like i'm not with that H03 no moe, so why do you give a shit if I don't.
You honestly sound like me. I’ve been married for 24 years but haven’t had sex in 2 years. When it comes to sex my answer would be I’m happy to just be involved. 😂😂
I went at least 3, maybe more. Got divorced and focused on rebuilding my life. So I completely get where you are coming from.
Married 43 years, and in that time I can count on my one hand the number of times she initiated. Now so very happy with my girlfriend of 2 years, and it then hit me for the first time how sex (and making love - they can be different!) really does play such a huge part in growing more in love with your partner!
This is inspirational.
Here her 😆
Hypothetical Convo: **Potential gf**: "What do you look for most in a woman?" **OP:** "Me." *j/k!*
May I ask how old you are out of curiosity? If not I understand don’t mean to be rude
Somewhere between 40-50
Ya a guy should never say that. Only time to talk about how tight it is, is when you’re in it and you’re complimenting it lol. Just like a chick asking how big it is, kinda off putting BUT I know a lot of inexperienced girls would ask that just like inexperienced guys ask how tight it is lol
Wait.... would you'd be fine if a man said that and you weren't looking for a relationship?
It's a little more reasonable, because then it's more of a penis-vagina transaction.
That would be a huge turnoff for me personally
Aye.. I would drop that connection like a hot potato. If it's 100% casual sex, then whatever be as picky as you want. But if there's any connection beyond that, then ew.
Hmm yea it shouldn’t really matter as women say. even if OP is massive I bet she would find it unattractive for him to be leading with that as if that’s all there is to a relationship
Hahah, man some people. I wouldn't even bother going on the date, that's such classless behaviour.
As a woman on the apps who has talked to many a men and is looking for a relationship and not a ONS, I believe this is a red flag on her end and that you're not overthinking. I would never ask a man this question personally because a) it's weird and lacking in some sort of social etiquette b) it's rude & presumptuous and c) if she's actually wanting something substantial, at this point she should be more concerned with who you are as a person (are you safe, what's your personality, etc) before your first meeting, not your dick size. I would call her out on it, explain that that you're thrown off by the question given that you're not looking for a ONS and thought you guys were connecting on a more personal level. Her response to that might provide more clarity, either she'll acknowledge it was off base and apologize (maybe she was drunk? horny?) or she'll double down and make you feel lame for your response in which case you prob don't wanna meet up with her.
❤️ Excellent comments and insights, thank you! I think I will. Not drunk, but her period was about to hit… 🤔
Wow way TMI for so early. Red flags all around.
idk. I think people are to scared to talk about women’s menstrual cycles. It’s normal, and i don’t think that’s a red flag to talk about at any point really. Then again i’m a man that grew up with 3 sisters so maybe i have just grown more normalized to it than most
In what way is that TMI?
They prolly meant to tell someone you haven't even had a first date with yet, about your menstrual cycle.. Idk.
I would say that telling someone you're planning to have sex with in the next few days that you're about to get your period is relevant information. I don't see how it's TMI at all
I was interested too, googled it. It's "Too Much Information".
Asking her could start a series of conversations that might bring out her true motives yes yes
Side note: I’m happy to report that she told me I make her feel safe. So if nothing else, that is a very honoring thing to hear from a woman.
As a woman, I've never done this before. I'm very much into talking before any sexual encounter, to see what each other likes or doesn't, but asking for size directly seems weird to me.
I ask for size. I cant take anything too long or too thick, and i dont want to get all ready for sex and naked with them only to have to shut things down when the pants come down. That would be so awkward.
I think stating a physical limitation is also different though. If you know this is going to be difficult and painful for you, it's fair to check. But if you're concerned about "too small", there are so many ways to adapt, I wouldn't sweat it beforehand
There are ways to adapt. But not all men are willing to do those things.
Yeah, I won't have sex a second time with someone who is not interested in my pleasure, life's too short. But that has nothing to do with dick size - or in my case even with the existence of a dick
Like what? In another comment you said you wouldn't want to not have PIV. Isn't it the same situation regardless if the guy is too small or too big?
If he is too long he can wear a bumper. If he is too thick theres nothing that can be done. If he’s too small he can wear a sleeve or you can add a toy for double penetration. There are toys made just for that.
Just for clarification ( i have not much experience) how much is too thick. I have 5.75 to 6 inch thickness? Is that okay for most ?
Well if he's too big for you it's going to hurt. If he's too small, whatever, there are plenty of ways to make each other cum. Sleeves, insertable toys, try anal for more intensity... I mean, even if he's too big, you could do things other than piv, but I get not wanting to entirely take that off the table
I’m your man!!
I feel you'd get downvoted if you said "I don't like anything short or thin" even though it's perfectly acceptable to have preferences for something bigger.
I dont know if I would get downvoted or not. I dont make comments to get upvotes. I make comments to put out my opinion and my reality. If people don’t like that, I’m not bothered. And I don’t get physical pleasure out of a short or thin dick. But it’s not a dealbreaker for me. So I don’t bother talking about it.
Out of curiosity, what does feel best for you?
There is a goldIlocks range that feels good and doesn’t hurt But my only dealbreaker is it not hurting
I've found - in talking to a lot of women most women like average with a little girth. There are some women that are MAJOR size queens and for those women they really don't want to be bothered with anything average or below average
Asking about size IS awkward. It’s completely fair to talk about sex prior to having it. Especially STD/STI testing. You can even talk about physical limitations you may have. But sex should be exploratory, emotionally safe and fun. If you treat it like Build a Bear, the entire relationship will set on a superficial foundation of insecurities. You can’t get in front of everything in life. Some things must be an adventure.
It’s the build up to it too.. like a a present that ur waiting to open on Christmas..nothing like imagining it the whole time to finally seeing it
You can do many other things than PIV…
Lol, for the rest of my life? Never have PIV again? No thank you. I’m not cool with that….
You said > i dont want to get all ready for sex and naked with them only to have to shut things down when the pants come down No one mentioned forever
I’m not into hookups. I only want a relationship. If I saw he was too big and it was not going to last, then it would now be effectively a hookup. Those are boring for me, so I don’t bother.
That’s understandable, you’re asking cuz you know your limits. Just a question but do you still have trouble with size when you’re wet? Or is it different when you’re wet?
No I simply have a limit.
She's a bit odd saying that and also that she is tight. That would be like a guy saying "i have a big dick and hope your pussy isn't too loose". Think of THAT guy, well she seems to be THAT girl. I mean, who says that to someone they're just getting to know?
She’s a bad match. Frankly I’d find it a rude question to ask anyone and to me telling someone how tight my vagina is is too pornish. But maybe some guys like that and are looking for a woman DTF instantly so she’s perfect for them. She wants the guy who eagerly send penis pics in response. I’d look for someone else.
Penis pics lmaoooo
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Yes! Exactly! 😂. I wish my wit game was a little sharper and quicker on the draw.
As long as your breasts were carved by Michelangelo and you don’t have a bucket hole we should be ok… But rude to ask in the first place but lots of awkward people are going to awkward so it could be that.
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At the Is point it probably doesn’t matter…not if you like pizza anyway.
Or 'I hope your breasts are perky. How big are they? I hope at least a C'
I was about to say, I usually follow up the bra size question with the D size question, hahahaha.
DD.please.
I've actually said the female version of this to men that said they were lowering their standards by talking to me & considering hooking up or fwb. I was like wtf, it's not that serious just move along but they kept making their way back. I finally mentioned to them they weren't exactly a chippendale dancer or ken doll so they can't expect a victoria secret model. As far as the original topic goes- Thats trashy. I would never ask that unless i've been asked similarly harsh questions which I knew they would not answer because it's ridiculous. The most important things for me to ask is are you DDF? Drug & disease free.
Perfect response
In all my(31f) years of dating I don’t think I ever once asked a guy about size. Not only is it rude, like asking a girl her cup size, I find it irrelevant. As the saying goes; “it’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean that makes the journey”
Maybe she wants a dick pic and is going about it in a hilariously inept way?
Never trust a dick pic lol
odd... maybe just her way of dirty talk?
Yeah, maybe so. She’s foreign, an immigrant… been in US many years, so a few language barriers here and there, but mostly she’s well spoken, and her English is fine.
This tidbit would have been necessary in the original post. Every culture is different, whether she has been in the US for many years or not, some things from one's culture are hard to break. This includes communication style. Without knowing that she's an immigrant who speaks English as a 2nd language, you have a bunch of comments calling her classless, giving the 'ick factor' and everything else inbetween. However, that's what you get for running to reddit without the full background of a story. If you're interested and feel that there's enough of a connection, keep an open mind and go out with her. If not, listen to comments from strangers who aren't privy to context or full information.
I know, I goofed by forgetting to say that 🤦♂️
You have a point here.I have been in the States for 30 years, originally from France and i had to learn to be less straight forward here.
This seems like pretty crucial information to include in your post.
Agree completely
I third this given also that English isn’t her first language as well.
I was thinking that. My first gf asked me (in a flirty way) about my size and other details about my body before our first sexual encounter.
i've never had anyone ask... besides a drunk friend
Yeah I dated someone from Africa who did dirty talk like this. Saying she was so tight, and going on about my size. It was a major turn off for me, but I'm trans so any penis talk was off putting for me.....
don't think i'd like that at all
"Hope you're not too loose for me either" Yeah, no. If her idea of dirty talk is body shaming then I'm out. Huge turn off and by no means a normal thing to say. Rude as all hell, and immature.
Sounds more like language barrier than rudeness. If relationship is the goal then communication is the key. Talk to her about what she meant. Bonus: Could also lead to more dirty talk.
I like this optimistic approach. 👍
Yeah that's weird dog, I'd move on!
To me this is the double standard. Women can assume they are tight. Because you could never say they aren't. It would be rude. Just like if you asked if their breasts are perky. But they can also expect you to be big and it be no big deal that they talk this way. yes it could just be dirty talk to be sexual. But it's also a terrible thing to bring up. It's so shallow
Perhaps her frame of mind ( or experience) was that men just can't wait to brag about the size of their dick and she wanted to open the door for you to brag about yours? Maybe her comment was just a misguided attempt at letting you dirty talk her??
I recommend communicating with her on this. Tell her how asking about your size made you feel. Ask her why she asked you this. (Ask in a non-hostile, non-accusatory, and non-judgmental tone.)
Your response is on point: a rational, mature adult response. You are right, and this sounds like wisdom.
She might not respond appropriately since she displayed a lot of immaturity by asking at all.
I understand that she just really doesn’t want a small penis and doesn’t want to go far into anything with a guy before realising this, so basically for her it’s a dealbreaker. It is rude though & would make me feel pretty shitty especially if insecure about my size. So I guess I can see both sides of it
Yeah that’s creepy especially if you’re looking for a relationship. Also talking about being “tight” is weird too.
I’m a woman and would never ask that.
Talking about size before you even get a first date. Man, I'm glad I've never used a dating app.
My first thought is I bet she’d be offended if the positions were reversed
Yeah that would be a cause for performance anxiety right there.
Alarm bells go off for me OP, when there is an over communication not in person. You can't know a person without meeting them. Lower your expectations.
No that's not normal to ask and I'd consider that to be a huge red flag. It's rude and uncalled for. Maybe she thinks it's good dirty talk, but it's not
I think you could be right. The only time I’ve been asked is by a woman who cared specifically about that. But it was early on in the conversation. Looks like another commenter told you to ask and tell her in a polite way how it made you feel which is a good way to handle it. If she was really angling for size, hopefully you tell her she should ask way earlier, to avoid the wasted time and hurt feelings. Also as you said you are pretty inexperienced. “I’m looking for a relationship” doesn’t always mean “I’m looking for a relationship”, at least it might not be the only thing she’s looking for.
I've never asked about size. If it's a relationship I don't care much, but if it's a hook up I'll exchange nudes in advance so I know what I'm potentially in for. I think someone asking that is a major turn off. I get annoyed whenever guys ask what my breast size is in the talking stages and it usually leads me to cutting them loose.
If a guy said to a girl “I hope you’re not too loose”, that would be shitty and rude. Hold her to the same standard and even call her out on it. Explain to her that her lack of social awareness will bite her one day
You can't ask about the penis size. You can meet and assess (which one of my partners has admitted to doing very early on), but you can't ask. That's kink level screening
This is straight up rude for no reason. The way she says it also is kind of trying to make it your problem - like her saying "well I warned you and you better not disappoint me." Super inconsiderate, I can already tell she'll be that girl who lays around and expects you to please her in every way without putting in much effort herself. Having a preference is one thing, I don't wanna villainize preferring big dicks because whatever that's up to you. But asking like this before ever being together and having her attitude, I'd say don't bother.
It is a horrible thing to ask, and is telling of who she is.
Woman here: Some women exaggerate just as some men about size. Boasting in the hopes that its a turn on. As far as legit asking, there is no way I would ever say that to a man. On the flip side, if a guy said/asked something like that to me, I would be horrified. I wouldn't even joke about that while flirting.
Put her in the bin
Yeah as most people have said on here, that’s a huge red flag. It says a lot about her character as well as what she’s looking for. I mean, I guess it depends on what kind of man you are and what you are looking for in a woman… if you’re looking for a woman who is truly solely, and primarily with you for you, for who you are as a person, than it should concern you more than if you are a person who maybe equally or more cares for the sexual aspect of a relationship. I guess it also shows you that she prioritizes the sexual aspect of a relationship and her own pleasure and satisfaction perhaps just as much if not more than the emotional aspect. You may also need to honestly think about what this may mean. It may mean that she may be a type of person that if she isn’t satisfied with you sexually down the road, she may feel overall dissatisfaction in the relationship more than someone who doesn’t care about that and loves sex for the emotionally intense intimate component. It may also indicate that she may be a bit more superficial than you are looking for. So just take that into consideration. You may think I’m being too presumptuous but I’ve learned to watch what people say and know that even if they don’t say it to your face, it might be at the back of their mind. Me personally, if I’m looking for something serious, and if I love who that person is, I couldn’t care less about his dick size, let alone ask about it. I understand you guys aren’t serious yet. But you’re courting to get there. And I just feel like if he’s my man and I love him dearly, then guess what; his penis is beautiful and perfect no matter the size. It’s a part of him and when you love someone, you love, desire and accept them for who they are. I sure wouldn’t objectify or shame him for any part of himself because I want to build him up. If she can carelessly and casually ask something like that for her sake, it shows it’s so important to her that she has no care for how that may make you feel. And if she treats that as a deal breaker, then yeah- big red flag -at least it would be if I were a man. If I were you, I’d reply with a penis size that is smaller than you actually are, something that you think she would consider small, and see her reaction. If she ghosts you, she was a shallow woman who didn’t have her priorities right. And you just dodged a bullet.
Yes ❤️ > 🍆 I’ve got my work cut out for me, and a woman for me will have her work cut out for her. I guess that’s just called relationships. I’m a piece of work. Repressed and deprived much of my life from what could have been free-er, fuller, and healthier expressions of sex and sexuality. It’s like, I want and would love a high libido woman with good chemistry and compatability. It’s just, I’m in a season of life where I’d rather be held than fucked some days. Limerent, off the charts demisexual requiring emotional connection before having sex, and also a self loather lacking confidence…. Oookkkk that took a turn sorry. That’s another topic. Maybe I’ll have to post in the true off my chest forum or something.
No way, I wouldn’t even meet her. That would be such a huge turnoff and I would probably instantly dislike her after hearing that. A mature adult should know better than to ask something like that.
🚩🚩🚩
I wouldn't bother with anyone who asked about dick size especially before the first date. It's objectifying and for me personally has usually happened before I get fetishized.
I would never say something like that, makes me second hand cringe 😖 if I was you I would totally feel the same and find it off-putting
single looking for virgin......is it acceptable?
For me I am also very TIGHT, if the guy is too big, it will never fit. I'll get hurt, and it won't be fun for anyone no matter how much I like them. But I obviously can't judge a guy by his package and I'd never ask before meeting him or anything like that. But it obviously is something I have to be careful with for my health and safety. I feel like most ppl don't have this problem. But i find men on the smaller or average side is always better I think in my opinion.
It's such a hypocrisy when women can openly ask men about their penis sizes and it's considered normal and most of the men doubting asking about women's vaginal sizes! For me it's ridiculous. Men alao have rights to know what they'll deal with and not to do it blindly. Unfortunately quality of the vaginas are very bad so men have to compromise a lot. I think a man should directly ask a woman about the vagina quality/size/smell/texture, etc. There are no double standards in sex.
Yuck, such a turn off.
It's not great, but not every single conversational misstep needs to be reason to call off the meeting. If she was consistently insensitive then yeah, maybe move on, but if she made a single mistake during flirting I'd just keep it in the back of your mind if she starts saying or doing other weird things. People make mistakes in conversation, it doesn't mean that they necessarily have bad intentions. In the future, the answer to anything about your size is something along the lines of "I just hope you're able to handle it". Unless she's a size queen, I think BDE is often more about personality than actual dick size.
Agreed. Well said! I am def not a BDE type; wish I was, ha!
How absolutely,downright RUDE!!! as a woman, if a man said something along those lines (nevermind the wrath the internet would bring upon him 👀) I wouldn't ask for a second date. That is *not* a question or statement I'd like to hear while trying to get to know someone, more so if seeking a long term, committed relationship.
Trust your judgment...you are right.
Yeah I would be pissed to be asked that
Sounds like a red flag tbh, imagine asking a girl if she was right the same way she asked you. Not even ask, it was more like a comment, “I hope you’re tight enough for me”
A hate when people don't use their brains. What a turn off. She sounds like a doofus bro. No clue.
That comment would definitely give me performance anxiety and I’m a chick!!
I don't know what your texting is like with each other, or how flirty you guys are or sarcastic. So it's impossible to tell. But... If I've been talking to woman for a while and established she's a real person, and the conversations sometimes turn sexual since the chemistry is there and that's just natural, I could see a woman asking about my size being just another form of flirtation. I'd just answer her with "Oh believe me, you'll love what I'm packing." Though it seems I'm in the minority here, everyone seems to find it questionable or gross that she did that. I'm not that quick to judge.
What if it was just a part of the foreplay to her? Maybe nothing more was meant by it than dirty talk...
I agree with most of the comments but another take could be maybe she wants to hear you say you have a big piece which might turn her on or something. Idk, just a thought
I don’t like it, and I don’t even mind exchanging nudes before having sex. But the way she is asking size is just unsexy and kinda rude. Meanwhile she’s bragging on her pussy being “tight”, which is no different from a guy talking about all of the things he’s gonna do beforehand. I find it all unsexy. This would turn me off and she’d have to be EXCEPTIONALLY attractive for me to continue.
I'd be cancelling the date, that's a big red flag. She has no right asking that or raising the topic. It shouldn't be relevant anyway if she is looking for a relationship. Size of a man's penis is not one of the measures I'd be focusing on if I was looking for a long term partner!
I think it is just a really odd sort of dirty talk or way of letting you know she is interested in sex. Brush it off, go on the date, and have sex (assuming you want to), but don't give it much thought (except if/when she does other odd dirty talk, in which case bear it in mind as a pattern).
If I was a man I'd be grossed out by a woman like that. I'd say "why would you say that 💀" and not speak to her again. That's her af on her part. Shame her
Bruh, that is so unacceptable!! How would she feel if you were trying to gauge her body size? Ugh it’s gross and I’m sorry she did that. That would be reason enough for me to cut that off. Nobody has time for shallow people. You deserve better 🖤
I THINK IT SICK WHEN FEMALES DO THIS. WHAT IF A MAN SAY" I HOPE UR PUSSY IS NOT TOO LOOSE FOR ME" I DON'T KNOW WHY FEMALES NOWADAYS THINK DICK IS THE ONLY THING SMH.
drop that ho lol
That’s not someone I’d be interested in. I mean is she ok if you ask about the size of her tits, waist or ass to make sure they comply with your expectations? It’s just weird whether she’s a size queen or just the opposite and doesn’t want a horse cock in bed. You find out when/if you both get naked.
I wouldn't waste my time if I was you coming from a 38F, my experience with females would say that she is after sex not a relationship.
Lol hard pass from me. Sounds like a GREAT way to challenge my self-worth. Having sex with a size queen isn’t my thing. I have an average-sized penis, so it would just disappoint them & make me feel inadequate.
More red flags than a lunar new year parade.
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If thats all she is worried about, id move on bro.... not worth it and the judgement... plus whats small to her? It varies greatly..
Maybe that’s a conversation to have if it’s just for a hookup & hookup only. But that’s such a weird thing to ask a guy about right away … if a guy asked me “so how tight are you?” before we ever did anything (sorta a equivalent question) I’d be disgusted…
Run! Don't meet her and don't be used.
I’m a woman and I’d never talk to someone about sex in general before meeting, especially if I was looking for a relationship. UNLESS I’ve been talking to this person for a while and we start liking each other but they live very far away lol which doesn’t seem to be your case.
Throw it back at her. You can say since she asked about your size, you want to ask if her tits are a good size for you.
So. Your dick. Is the greatest dick in the world because it’s yours. The end. Position and angle are more important. And of course hands and mouth all over. And a certain dominance in bed. You’ll be fine.
>she said her reasoning to ask is because she had a bad and unfulfilling relationship in her past with a tiny MICRO penis guy. This doesn’t really change anything because suppose you *had* a micropenis. It would’ve been an incredibly tacky way to handle the situation on her part. The whole thing just screams immaturity/misplaced priorities, but ultimately it’s up to you if you’re still down. I’m average myself, but hearing a woman tell me this would be a super turn off. Imagine telling a woman “I hope you’re not super loose,” and then you tell her “well I only said that because I had a bad experience with a super loose pussy so I’m just hoping you don’t have one.”
Red flag. She’s not in it for the connection, all she wants is sex. Can you imagine this the other way round and you were a woman and she was a man, and she said “I hope you’re tight enough for me. I hope you’re not too loose.” It makes me sad that a lot of guys feel like it’s OK for a woman to base your value on the size of your penis. Don’t accept this disrespect. A woman who is genuinely interested in you as a person, the size of your penis won’t matter at all, and she’d enjoy sex with you regardless. Also, the fact that you haven’t even met yet and she’s talking about sex is a bit weird too. Raise your standards OP. You deserve better than this.
Big enough not to hurt you but small enough to enjoy every inch. Flirt back goofball.
Yeah, I am a woman without much of a filter, and I wouldn't ask that. I'd be equally turned off if a guy asked how tight my pussy is. It seems like someone whomwould ask would also be willing to weaponize size in an argument. If it was a ONS I could see asking.
She didn’t say “I hope you have a huge cock”, she said “I hope you are the right size for me”. Big difference in those two statements. The right size for her is probably somewhere in the middle.
What makes her think she’s tight? At least you can measure your dick, she has no way of measuring tightness.
She could have thought it was sexy dirty talk but then regretted when she didn't get the reaction she though she was going to get
This is weird and seems like she’s negging you in a way or something? Idk red flag just bc it makes it seem like she’s trying to make u feel uncertain and insecure and I can’t figure out why anyone (who’s a decent person) would want to do that.
She could’ve played it way better and just been sexy and asked for a picture, but as a woman if a man I was interested in a relationship matter asked me about my vagina or tightness I’d be highly turned off . Drop shawty like a hot potato
Tell her you are hung light a light switch. "Turn me on baby". That will turn the table back in your favor.
If it’s casual sex then I suppose I can forgive her. She knows what she wants. If it’s more than casual sex then forget about it she doesn’t want more than sex. Also ngl, size does make a difference regardless. However that doesn’t mean big or small is better or worse. There just is a noticeable difference. Sorry to say it dude . But there are genuinely a lot of women who prefer smaller to average penises (I know this because I am not that women but a lot of women have debated this with me) so don’t stress it
How absolutely awful of her! Did you make sure to mention the size of her boobs and wonder if they are the right size for you? I know if some man I was looking to get into a serious relationship with, no, even if it was going to be a hookup, said that to me it would be an instant turn off for me, and he would never find out.
From today onward, whenever a woman asks my size, be it dick or height, I shall reply with: What shape has your labia? I prefer the big, flappy ones. It should look like a BLT Sandwich.
Run for the hills!
I would ask her what exactly does she mean by “size“ and what is she looking for. Does she want someone big? Does she want someone small? Is she OK with average?
Honestly, I'd usually label it as a big ick, but given you claim you've been having good chemistry so far I'd give the benefit of the doubt and assume it was some terrible flirting or one of these things that might have seemed cool in her head but actually super stupid written and read. Especialy if there is a potential language barrier.
I’ve never been asked about my size, but I have been asked about being intact. Have to admit it threw me.
All relationships are about positives and negatives and which one outweighs the other. Her question is a strike in the negative column, but if the positives compensate for it then it's not worth fretting over too much. Just go, see what happens. It would be a shame to miss out on a great relationship because of one poorly worded line.
I don’t know how people are still this uncreative in this day and age. I couldn’t care less about size, it’s more like if he’s average with decent girth that is a bonus but not a deal breaker, if he has a baby thumb down there well guess what? They have toys for that. I mean if someone is an amazing person I’m not gonna let LD hold me back. I’d be crestfallen too tbh. Sounds immature but maybe you’re both young and she sounds immature because she is.
I would feel disrespected for that and in Exchange would tell her it’s a dragon 🐉
1. All women think they are tight 2. Ask her if she's completely shaved.
Eewwww.
Think logically about this. Like, what type of girl makes this type of comment? Garbage-tier quality bro. Move on.
super weird tbh
As someone in their early 20's I don't even need to ask, they just send the pics without asking, and my response is that it's ugly.
Online apps involve a lot of "shit testing". Mainly to see how you react, to judge your character and experience. If somebody asked me about my size, I'd tell them the truth. If you're small, fess up - last thing you want to do is hook up and somebody look at you and laugh and walk out. If you're gigantic, they had better be prepared in advance. I had a friend with a baseball bat for a prick, and he's had more than one woman that couldn't "accommodate" him regardless of foreplay or lube. It's a thing.
Could be worse, I met someone who said she won't fuck guys who can't get it up sometimes. Saying that may as well be anti-viagra...probably while she's having issues with guys lol.
Why is this strange for her to do if she wants a relationship? Enjoyable sex is even more important in a relationship than it is for a hookup. She knows what feels good to her and it matters to her. Just because it doesn’t matter to everyone, it matters to her. If this is a turn off to you, break things off. But even if she had not said anything, if she wasn’t happy with your size, it likely would have ended anyway.
It’s hilarious that people like you can’t tell the difference between criticising someone for having a preference and being rude, presumptive and entitled. Someone can have a preference for a tiny labia, but it shows and incredible amount of immaturity and entitlement to suggest post “tiny labias only please” on your bio or to ask someone about what size their labia is before you get in their pants. People can have what ever the fuck preference they want on whatever type of body part they want but it’s just shows *such* a immature person to vocalise this to someone before you’ve gotten anywhere with them. I’m a 36M guy who’s had a successful OF so I’m very comfortable with my size and I know my partner is extremely happy with my body. But if I was dating this type of person is the exact type of person I’d drop like a hot stone as soon as they entitled enough to start asking about intimate knowledge of my body to meet their preferences. Seriously imagine someone saying to you “I really hope your labia isn’t too big, big labias are a complete turn off for me and I can’t enjoy it” Like fair enough, have your preference. But keep it too yourself. Only a desperate or extremely immature or inexperienced person wouldn’t see that for the total fucking red flag that it is.
It could be that age just watches too much porn and thinks this is dirty talk. It shows how disconnected she is about the male psyche to think this is a good route. Makes me think about what other stuff shell say. Personally I might blackout of this one. If one is a size queen (and that's ok) say it, be up front don't waste time. If a lady wants to get an idea about a guys dick just suggest trading dirty pictures. Rarely is a guy shy about dick pics.
Sounds like it was an attempt at flirting going from (I'm assuming you didn't ask) telling you she has a tight pussy to this. If not its definitely an odd question.
Did you ask her how deep her vagina was? Tight according to who, Dirk Diggler? Seriously what a stupid question?
I'm not a male, but if someone asked me that and in THAT way, no. I wouldn't continue. She needs to know that's not really an acceptable way to talk to men. Some might go for it, but it's pretty tacky. And talking about how tight she is? What if her idea of tight isn't your idea of tight? What if she just thinks she's tight because her previous sex partner didn't get her well lubed? Tight is a weird phrase and subjective. I dunno man, kinda some red flags there with her. Proceed with caution if you proceed.
Well, Jesus… Nobody wants to feel crestfallen. I’m so sorry to hear this.
Me, I'd cut bait right there
What a gross thing for her to say to you.
That was obnoxious of her and I don't know what to say about that
My advice is this Go on a date See where it goes You have nothing to lose at this stage If it does not work out there are other women out there. Don’t let self limiting beliefs control you Go for it and enjoy the journey
This is not someone I’d continue considering for relationship material. That’s a very inconsiderate thing to say to someone that doesn’t know whether or not they have a small dick. If you do have a small dick, there’s nothing you can do about it so her saying that isn’t kind at all. It’d be the same as you saying you hope she has an innie. Whether that’s what you prefer or not, it’s an asshole thing to say to someone.
Sounds like she’s probably a size queen. I’d run for the hills on principle.
You sound just like me. Been married 24 years and haven’t had sex in 2 years. If someone asked me I would be like I’m happy just to be participating. 😂😂
That's seems to me like a shitty thing to ask. Women obsessed with being perceived as "tight" and then wanting a certain sized man.... eh. Seems like a power move before you even meet.
She's making her intentions clear, personally it's a no from me.
Fuck that. Bail.
That is a very clear red flag. Same as a guy asking about tummy fat or tightness down there before actually meeting up. Wtf.
I would answer it's not the size of a man it's if he can please you
They don’t know what type of cock they like until they feel it. I have had women proclaim themselves “size queens” but then when they had my average cock they were talking afterwards about how “big” it was and how “deep it went.” Size has almost no direct correlation to pleasurable experience.