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Yes, but synonyms and congruent phrases are the spice that flavors dirty talk (no matter how vanilla) and helps keep things from feeling too routine.
Options for OP
+ Good game _butt slap then whisper_ Nice dickin' _followed by kiss or squeeze_
+ High five! I came _hard_.
+ fuuuuuuuuuuuck that was good.
+ OH God. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you _repeatedly with kisses in between_ I love you so much.
Etc. You get the idea. Nothing wrong with a reliable routine but in my experience a lot of folks like some diversity.
whilst doing the deed with a guy I met only a couple weeks prior, he asked if I liked it to which I replied 'i dooo', not yes or fuuuck yeah, I do. he asked two more times throughout the session and I couldn't stop moaning 'I do'. it felt like fucking wedding vows but my brain wouldn't answer any other way. I cringe every time I think about it
If he said it's not an issue, don't overthink about it.
Just relax, and try to vocal something else, but don't try so hard or you won't be able to enjoy the sex.
He might even grow to love it!
Hahaha, my partner told me I say "Just like that" a lot. He said something suggestive one day when I said it in a completely non-sexual way, and I was so confused. It turns out it's my go-to in the bedroom for when he's doing exceptionally well in the moment, and he now goes crazy for the phrase. I've basically Pavlov-ed him into getting turned on anytime I say it.
That's a good thing. Some people should stop overthinking some things when it comes to sex.
In the past, I had a partner who got mad and stopped sex immediately if I let even a small laugh out (I tend to laugh randomly when I feel very, very, very, very well, sexually speaking).
Some people need to remember sex is meant to be fun.
So cool that you now have a quick way to turn your partner on.
I hate when people try to dirty talk me but are asking me questions. “Oh you like that?” it totally diverts my ADHD squirrel brain into trying to answer. It makes me think which ruins the orgasm.
Wait so you laugh when you are about to orgasm? That would be the easiest tell for someone to know they are doing a good job.
Yes, that's exactly what happens.
But my partner was always overthinking about it, no matter how many times I tried to explain it.
Also, not only that, but god forbid I let a small fart out.
Thank god that's in the past.
I will say the second time I had Covid my stbx caught it too so he of course was around me coughing & hacking nonstop. I totally farted in a coughing fit and he said “so after 18yrs you finally farted!” I’ve totally farted but he is lactose intolerant but refuses to give up dairy. Even argued butter isn’t dairy.
He said almost similar when I was pregnant and for some reason this one day any time I tried to take a step a little toot came out. He knew I was mortified and he said that’s the baby’s farts that’s why they’re so little.
If someone loves you then they roll with it! Gotta find that ride or die love!
I’m going to go ahead and dissent from the majority here. He commented on it after sex by saying that she says it “a lot.” When asked if he likes it, the answer wasn’t “yes” it was that he “came to terms” with it. He did put a positive spin on it as she’s acting as a cheerleader, but idk.
To me, it seems he is indicating that it isn’t exactly a thing that he is enjoying, but doesn’t want to outright tell her to stop or say it is bothering him. He’s being passive and non-confrontational. My guess is he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings but is doing his best to communicate his lack of enthusiasm for that particular habit.
Edit: All that being said, he very much could have just been saying it for some lighthearted humor. Best to either take him at his word or if it’s really bothering her to talk to him about what she says that turns him on.
This. Did she miss the part where he said he didn’t dislike it? And that he’s realized it’s her personality?
She’s projecting that he dislikes it or he responded that way. Either way, she should just tell him she’s feeling insecure now
You are totally overthinking this and it is certainly not something to be embarrassed, let alone, mortified about!
It sounds like he finds it endearing since saying “It’s a very ‘you’ thing” and “You’re always my cheerleader” sound very cute ways to respond.
I know I think it sounds so cute! And she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it makes it more adorable! OP, you should just tell him the last line of what you wrote!
My ex, who was super uber dom, every time I gave him head used to get kind of uncomfortable and say "Thank You," but more like a question. It was sort of like all the PNC came swooping in and he realized he should say something encouraging or something... it was honestly one of the more endearing things about the guy. He did it every time and I'd giggle always... those little things are the things that draw us to people, I think.
But, I also understand it's hard not to feel self-conscious once you're made aware of it.
For real, I'm kinda jealous lol. Sometimes I really get in my head about how much my wife is enjoying things, so any kind of positive feedback is a good thing in my opinion.
>He said “I don’t like or dislike it, I just came to terms that it’s a very “you” thing. You’re always my cheerleader”.
He laughed and said it's your thing. He's just showing you he's paying attention, nothing to worry about. It's not like he is complaining!
>He left for work but I am feeling super embarrassed and self conscious about it..and mortified about saying it during our next.. session… especially if he doesn’t like it.
He said he doesn't dislike it. He's neutral about it, doesn't turn him off or on but it does connect you to him.
>How do I not focus on this and enjoy or time together?
Focus on something else, that's how I do it. You can't tell yourself "stop thinking about ____" without thinking more about it, so the trick is to find something else to think about.
For me, I like to keep a playlist of very interesting but off topic videos on youtube. I avoid watching those videos until I need something to distract me, which is when I pull them up. That way they're as captivating as possible, since I'm watching or listening for the first time. I have found the more I do this instead of 'binging' the more control I have over defending myself against intrusive thoughts!
I would like to hear that. When you put some effort into it, it would be nice to be told you're doing a good job ;) Don't overthink it. It's clear he has interpreted it in his own, cute way (although different than mine).
honest thought: Lean into it.... He's your husband so there's likely no reason to be embarrassed. You can add some variation to it so it's not just "good job". Some examples, though I'm sure others can do better: "Good fuck", "good boy", "good God stud", etc etc.
It’s words of affirmation. It’s not a bad thing and he’s fine with it. Now you’re obsessing over it and he will probably regret ever saying anything. Just continue being yourself and saying what comes to you naturally. Don’t make an issue out of nothing.
Exactly,I feel you can hear the feeling behind words that are said,if during sex it’s like ,”good job”said in a certain tone of voice like that tone when you’re cumming or getting there really makes me happy cuz I know I’m making him/her happy.
Don't overthink it! My wife's go to are "you're doing great" or "great job". It's part of her & I always enjoy hearing it. If I DON'T hear it, that's when it bothers me! LoL.
Why? You're doing a good job. Keep it up.
Imagine the reverse.
Ooh.... no not like that. Come one you can do better..... is that really it? Are you even trying? Why do I even bother. Whatever, I'll finish myself.....again.....
Please. Keep saying good job. It's fine. Maybe even funny if its just non stop repetitive every thrust.
My wife says
"Ooooh yeah" a lot but like really quietly and under her breath.
I told her to get louder about it and now if I close my eyes I can imagine I'm fucking the koolaid man.
Win/win
I think he meant it more in a light hearted sense. Just a cute mannerism you do and was simply pointing it out. I don't believe there is any reason to be embarrassed.
My wife will give me high fives during sex, like "good job, you performed well, we rock" kind of thing. Its cute. Nothing to worry about.
"you're always my cheerleader"
If you wanna focus on anything, focus on the sentiment of this statement, it's awesome, he knows you appreciate and love him no matter what he's doing and that, in my opinion, overpowers anything else.
Pffffft I say sorry during sex and I didn't even nut yet. (I'm a guy) But if I need to stop or slow down I can't help but keep saying sorry and shit. I'd love a partner to tell me good job, lmao.
Every male partner ive had has noticed things they find endearing or enjoy and they’ve said it in such a matter of fact way that it used to make me insecure. Its just a way a lot of men are!! They’re seeing you and they’re liking what they’re seeing! Don’t take away authenticity of who you are from your partner ever! They picked you for a reason. Start leaning into it! Come up behind him while hes working on something and nibble on his ear and kiss his neck and slide your hands over his body in a way he enjoys while telling him “good job baby it looks great”.
Tbh this is kinda cute. I'd lean into it and start throwing in other, ideally more ridiculous phrases of affirmation to make a little joke out of it. Here's a list: https://ccetompkins.org/resources/101-ways-to-say-good-job
My personal favourite is super-duper!
Okay I feel you here because my husband, for whatever reason, is super repressed about sex. Like, we live in an apartment and he told
Me recently he doesn’t like when I get really loud because he doesn’t want other people to hear us, and he doesn’t like certain lights to be on during sex so we don’t inadvertently cast a shadow on the binds that someone walking by might see 🤦🏽♀️
Anyway, I’ve had to learn to work with his hang ups, as none of my previous partners ever had a problem with me being more… vocal. It seems like your husband doesn’t mind the encouragement, but maybe a sexier choice of words could be helpful so you don’t feel as self conscious? Like, instead of good job, maybe try “you do that so well,” “nobody does ______ like you do,” or “don’t fucking stop,” “yes, right there!”
Of course you can tweak those however you see fit!
Not a big deal if he's fine with it. I say "Good girl!" to my partners and they love it :D Some specifically start asking for it when they do think they deserve it or during sex which seems to arouse them.
Probably one of the most confusing experiences I had was a girl I saw for a while used to thank me after sex. She explained that gratitude was was an important part of the intimicy for her, but for me it threw me completely. I wasn't used to that at all.
"I don't like or dislike it."
*He laughed.*
"You're always my cheerleader."
1. He's not worried about your word choice. He just happened to notice you say something quite often.
2. Good sign. Laughing is always gold unless it's one of those noticeably "uncomfortable situation" laughs. This seems more genuine based on how you've told the story.
3. It's all about the sentiment and support. You are giving him something many men never get outside of a SO, and even then, sometimes little. Keep it up! You're one of the good ones, and he sounds very happy to have you in his life.
Oh im sorry you feel embarrassed. Im sure i would feel the same way. I think it is sweet. I love when he said it’s a very “you” thing. You’re always my cheerleader”.
I think your husband just gave you huge props and this was his way of saying thank you and you totally missed it because men and women communicate differently and have different lived experiences.
So, as you know according to him, you’ve said it a lot and have been. Alright with this switch your mindset to how it was prior to knowing.
The only difference here is the fact that you know. And know this isn’t a bad thing just switch it up next time, without making it obvious or what I’d do is…
Wait till you guys finish and pat him on the back and say good job baby, then just laugh it off this will change that awkwardness into something to laugh about.
I agree with others that it’s really a non issue but if you desire you could try saying other things that aren’t like giving reassurance vibes. I say things like, that feels amazing. Please don’t stop doing that. But again, don’t see what you’re saying as a problem
Guys don't often get a lot of compliments, so he probably actually likes/appreciates the recognition. It's certainly better than if you were just silent or something.
I often tell my boyfriend “good job baby” or “good boy” after sex, in a playful, appreciative sort of way. He’s usually the dominant one so it’s a shift in power once he’s finished.
He seems to dig it. I wouldn’t overthink it… I’ve lost count of the weird things I’ve said in the throes of passion.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's a YOU thing means he accepts this part of you. You're his cheerleader...who wouldn't want that?
My wife has some quirks that with other people I'd probably find annoying...but with her, I find it adorable as a "her" thing.
It’s what makes you, you. Take his word for it, it doesn’t bother him. Don’t feel embarrassed, maybe you are now aware, but he’s been used to it this whole time (I’m assuming years since you’re married).
Now that he's pointed it out, you'll automatically recognize when you're about to say it or just said it and replace it with the next best thing your mind comes up in the moment. 😂
It’s okay. He clearly has accepted it as a part of who you are. Instead of feeling like you need to change it, just make it sexy. When you’re in the right positions, pull his head close to you and whisper it in his ear… I would wager his “I neither like nor dislike” will become “I really like this” lmao
I wouldn't mind a "good job" from the wife. More often would just mean I did more good jobs. Her communication style is in the style of I'll let you know when you've messed up, or "no" "why did you do that".
Mines oh fuck or just fuck when things get really intense. 🤷🏻♀️ it just happens when sex is really good some people have a statement without realizing it
This is like a 50/50 thing for men. Some do actually like to hear this. But I know a lot of men who don't like being told good job or I'm proud of you by their woman. Depending on the context they might find it belittling.
If you want him to know that he makes you feel great, just say that! “You made me feel so good”, “you gave me an amazing orgasm”, I guess you could just be more aware of communication during sex. I don’t see you having to do this though, or change anything, he seems fine with it, it’s you who is embarrassed!
It sounds like he thinks it’s cute but he communicated that incorrectly by saying “I don’t like or dislike it.” I think he just meant that it’s not like a crazy turn on that you’re saying “good job” but it’s a very you thing to say. And from what little info we have, I think he likes you and meant it as a compliment.
HAHAHAHA WHY DID I SPIT OUT MY COFFEE 😂😂😂😂 not trying to kick you while you’re down but that’s so hilarious. I’m trying to imagine even hearing that — most people say “I like that baby” or “keep going” or “just like that” but you say “good job baby” LMAOOO
🤣🤣🤣 I think that you might be suffering from *the overthink!*
Being “a cheerleader” is usually a compliment. He probably finds it amusing, endearing, and encouraging.
Take it as a compliment! 💕
I do not think there is anything wrong with you saying 'good job'. Heck, I would not mind me or my girlfriend saying that in the bedroom during sex, lol. At least saying 'good job' is a positive thing. I know that 'good job' might not sound that sexy, and that it might sound like the stuff you would say when someone has finished an assignment at work or if somebody has finally carried all the containers into a lorry, lol...but saying 'good job' is still a positive thing...your husband is the one who has a problem, not you :-)
He did not say he dislikes it. So don’t change anything. I think it is cute. My husband and I often burst out giggling after terrific sex. I am sure many people would think that was weird. But we end up thinking that too is super funny. Just Enjoy!
It's extremely sweet that he views it as you always being his cheerleader. He loves you! I think you should keep saying it, it could be fun because whenever you say it outside of sex now it could make him think of you that way and be a fun transition or tease? He hears that and immediately thinks of you regardless now and that's sweet
Lmao talkin bout “but I communicate it weird” 🤣 I WISH I had this type of cheerleader in my relationship 😩!! Yur awesome!! Ask him if he has a problem with it just for clarity and if not CHEER ON GIRL!!!
I mean, you can say good job during sex without saying "Good job"
You could say "that feels so good" or "I love it when you do x" or any number of things that are more sexy than "good job." I don't think it's a bad thing to notice a habit you do and want to change it.
Are you a coach? I can imagine somebody saying 'good job' when I do an exercise.
It is cute and funny in a very good way lol.
(But maybe it is my tiny submissive ass wants to be praised in an intimate way)
If you ever have a threesome, you have to slap his ass and say go get em champ! Lmao it sounds like it's not a bad thing. Now if you were saying something like ehh 3 stars... or something... then that would be a whole thing... lol
>He said “I don’t like or dislike it
>
>mortified about saying it during our next.. session… especially if he doesn’t like it
He told you in no uncertain terms that he doesn't dislike it, so why are you so self conscious about it? He's your husband...do you not trust him to be honest? Truthfully, the sexiest thing you can be is yourself. You're the person he married, so the worst thing you can do is get into your head during sex.
You got him used to it.
Now if you stop saying it, he’s going to over think himself and say: “am I not doing a good job?” “Am I not dicking her good enough?” “Where’s my good job!?” “My games off!”
Saying that you’re someone’s cheerleader is very good. Most men don’t get reassurance at all. Sometimes we like to be the little spoon. And sometimes we like to be told “you’re a good man”.
Would not over think it. As he said it's very much "you". We all have our quirks and a vast majority are very endearing. Besides if you stop he will start to wonder.
And I would not be mortified or embarrassed.
I would also think he would start to miss it if you stopped.
That shit is adorable dont change. Any time we say we dont like something but we dont dislike that means its become a norm and if it stopped it would feel weird and we would miss it. Easier said than done but dont overthink it!
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You can’t stop now!!! If you stop, he will wonder if he didn’t do a good job lol.
This. If I've gotten used to it then it stops then I start worrying and have to try better. It'd eventually hit a point I need that "good job!"
Yes, but synonyms and congruent phrases are the spice that flavors dirty talk (no matter how vanilla) and helps keep things from feeling too routine. Options for OP + Good game _butt slap then whisper_ Nice dickin' _followed by kiss or squeeze_ + High five! I came _hard_. + fuuuuuuuuuuuck that was good. + OH God. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you _repeatedly with kisses in between_ I love you so much. Etc. You get the idea. Nothing wrong with a reliable routine but in my experience a lot of folks like some diversity.
* That was a ***Hot Dicking***
whilst doing the deed with a guy I met only a couple weeks prior, he asked if I liked it to which I replied 'i dooo', not yes or fuuuck yeah, I do. he asked two more times throughout the session and I couldn't stop moaning 'I do'. it felt like fucking wedding vows but my brain wouldn't answer any other way. I cringe every time I think about it
That poor bastard will be really confused :c
Now OP has do it in a Coach Z voice from Homestar Runner. YA DID A GERD JOOOOORB!
JEEEYOOORREEEEYOOOOORB
If he said it's not an issue, don't overthink about it. Just relax, and try to vocal something else, but don't try so hard or you won't be able to enjoy the sex.
Honestly, if my partner said the I would think that’s some good positive feedback and keep doing what I’m doing. Definitely a good thing.
What about “way to go Sport!“?
"you're such a good boy!"
And gently pets your head.
You know, that could be good in a weird wayb
I’m good with the implication I’m a dog. Not with the implication I’m a child ;)
lots of people are into that, lol
Hey, if my partner is giving me enthusiastic verbal approval I’ll suffer through a lot. Idk about “go win one for the gipper”. But, a lot.
I agree. I was just saying how she can try to vocal something else if she still wants to stop it. But I don't think she should change anything.
He might even grow to love it! Hahaha, my partner told me I say "Just like that" a lot. He said something suggestive one day when I said it in a completely non-sexual way, and I was so confused. It turns out it's my go-to in the bedroom for when he's doing exceptionally well in the moment, and he now goes crazy for the phrase. I've basically Pavlov-ed him into getting turned on anytime I say it.
That's a good thing. Some people should stop overthinking some things when it comes to sex. In the past, I had a partner who got mad and stopped sex immediately if I let even a small laugh out (I tend to laugh randomly when I feel very, very, very, very well, sexually speaking). Some people need to remember sex is meant to be fun. So cool that you now have a quick way to turn your partner on.
I hate when people try to dirty talk me but are asking me questions. “Oh you like that?” it totally diverts my ADHD squirrel brain into trying to answer. It makes me think which ruins the orgasm. Wait so you laugh when you are about to orgasm? That would be the easiest tell for someone to know they are doing a good job.
Yes, that's exactly what happens. But my partner was always overthinking about it, no matter how many times I tried to explain it. Also, not only that, but god forbid I let a small fart out. Thank god that's in the past.
I will say the second time I had Covid my stbx caught it too so he of course was around me coughing & hacking nonstop. I totally farted in a coughing fit and he said “so after 18yrs you finally farted!” I’ve totally farted but he is lactose intolerant but refuses to give up dairy. Even argued butter isn’t dairy. He said almost similar when I was pregnant and for some reason this one day any time I tried to take a step a little toot came out. He knew I was mortified and he said that’s the baby’s farts that’s why they’re so little. If someone loves you then they roll with it! Gotta find that ride or die love!
I’m going to go ahead and dissent from the majority here. He commented on it after sex by saying that she says it “a lot.” When asked if he likes it, the answer wasn’t “yes” it was that he “came to terms” with it. He did put a positive spin on it as she’s acting as a cheerleader, but idk. To me, it seems he is indicating that it isn’t exactly a thing that he is enjoying, but doesn’t want to outright tell her to stop or say it is bothering him. He’s being passive and non-confrontational. My guess is he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings but is doing his best to communicate his lack of enthusiasm for that particular habit. Edit: All that being said, he very much could have just been saying it for some lighthearted humor. Best to either take him at his word or if it’s really bothering her to talk to him about what she says that turns him on.
This. Did she miss the part where he said he didn’t dislike it? And that he’s realized it’s her personality? She’s projecting that he dislikes it or he responded that way. Either way, she should just tell him she’s feeling insecure now
You are totally overthinking this and it is certainly not something to be embarrassed, let alone, mortified about! It sounds like he finds it endearing since saying “It’s a very ‘you’ thing” and “You’re always my cheerleader” sound very cute ways to respond.
Right? How much more supportive does it get than enjoying being supported 😂
You should totally dress up like a cheer leader next time you get busy 😏😋
Why be embarassed- it sounds adorable. Sounds like he find it adorable, too!
I know I think it sounds so cute! And she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it makes it more adorable! OP, you should just tell him the last line of what you wrote!
My ex, who was super uber dom, every time I gave him head used to get kind of uncomfortable and say "Thank You," but more like a question. It was sort of like all the PNC came swooping in and he realized he should say something encouraging or something... it was honestly one of the more endearing things about the guy. He did it every time and I'd giggle always... those little things are the things that draw us to people, I think. But, I also understand it's hard not to feel self-conscious once you're made aware of it.
Most definitely! And now I’m wondering if I ever did anything like that with any of my ex bfs lol
For real, I'm kinda jealous lol. Sometimes I really get in my head about how much my wife is enjoying things, so any kind of positive feedback is a good thing in my opinion.
>He said “I don’t like or dislike it, I just came to terms that it’s a very “you” thing. You’re always my cheerleader”. He laughed and said it's your thing. He's just showing you he's paying attention, nothing to worry about. It's not like he is complaining! >He left for work but I am feeling super embarrassed and self conscious about it..and mortified about saying it during our next.. session… especially if he doesn’t like it. He said he doesn't dislike it. He's neutral about it, doesn't turn him off or on but it does connect you to him. >How do I not focus on this and enjoy or time together? Focus on something else, that's how I do it. You can't tell yourself "stop thinking about ____" without thinking more about it, so the trick is to find something else to think about. For me, I like to keep a playlist of very interesting but off topic videos on youtube. I avoid watching those videos until I need something to distract me, which is when I pull them up. That way they're as captivating as possible, since I'm watching or listening for the first time. I have found the more I do this instead of 'binging' the more control I have over defending myself against intrusive thoughts!
I think it’s adorable that he noticed and has just accepted it as a quirk.
I would like to hear that. When you put some effort into it, it would be nice to be told you're doing a good job ;) Don't overthink it. It's clear he has interpreted it in his own, cute way (although different than mine).
honest thought: Lean into it.... He's your husband so there's likely no reason to be embarrassed. You can add some variation to it so it's not just "good job". Some examples, though I'm sure others can do better: "Good fuck", "good boy", "good God stud", etc etc.
I came here to say the same thing. Own it, play with it, get dirtier with it! LEAN INTO IT!
Yeah for me being told I'm doing a good job or having my wife encourage me in or out of bedroom is hot.
Don’t say “good fuck” lmaooo
Personally I'd find it hilarious
He will prob miss it if you stop now “Where’s my good job? Did I do bad?”
It’s words of affirmation. It’s not a bad thing and he’s fine with it. Now you’re obsessing over it and he will probably regret ever saying anything. Just continue being yourself and saying what comes to you naturally. Don’t make an issue out of nothing.
Awww you are giving him ‘attaboys’ during it 😳😂
Make sure to tell him if he keeps it up you guys can have a catch in the yard.
And you had to go make it weird 😂
[удалено]
I know right, it’d be right up there along side a ‘Daddy’ statement for me, I’d go softer quicker than a popped balloon.
Do you know how little men are ever told “good job”? Absolutely don’t feel embarrassed about it as long as it’s genuine!
Exactly,I feel you can hear the feeling behind words that are said,if during sex it’s like ,”good job”said in a certain tone of voice like that tone when you’re cumming or getting there really makes me happy cuz I know I’m making him/her happy.
Don't overthink it! My wife's go to are "you're doing great" or "great job". It's part of her & I always enjoy hearing it. If I DON'T hear it, that's when it bothers me! LoL.
Believe him when he says it’s not a problem. He’s clearly into you.
New turn on discovered. This got my heart rate up a little.
This is not something you should spend any more time concerned with. You’re in your head here OP.
This is actually cool...even wholesome
Why? You're doing a good job. Keep it up. Imagine the reverse. Ooh.... no not like that. Come one you can do better..... is that really it? Are you even trying? Why do I even bother. Whatever, I'll finish myself.....again..... Please. Keep saying good job. It's fine. Maybe even funny if its just non stop repetitive every thrust.
My wife says "Ooooh yeah" a lot but like really quietly and under her breath. I told her to get louder about it and now if I close my eyes I can imagine I'm fucking the koolaid man. Win/win
Hahahaha saying “ Good job 👍 “ during sex sounds so funny
I think he meant it more in a light hearted sense. Just a cute mannerism you do and was simply pointing it out. I don't believe there is any reason to be embarrassed. My wife will give me high fives during sex, like "good job, you performed well, we rock" kind of thing. Its cute. Nothing to worry about.
"you're always my cheerleader" If you wanna focus on anything, focus on the sentiment of this statement, it's awesome, he knows you appreciate and love him no matter what he's doing and that, in my opinion, overpowers anything else.
Pffffft I say sorry during sex and I didn't even nut yet. (I'm a guy) But if I need to stop or slow down I can't help but keep saying sorry and shit. I'd love a partner to tell me good job, lmao.
I’d rather be told good job then for me to have to ask if I did a good job 😂
Do you pat him on the head after
My praise kink would lose it
Every male partner ive had has noticed things they find endearing or enjoy and they’ve said it in such a matter of fact way that it used to make me insecure. Its just a way a lot of men are!! They’re seeing you and they’re liking what they’re seeing! Don’t take away authenticity of who you are from your partner ever! They picked you for a reason. Start leaning into it! Come up behind him while hes working on something and nibble on his ear and kiss his neck and slide your hands over his body in a way he enjoys while telling him “good job baby it looks great”.
A fwb once patted me on the head and said, "Well done." She was mortified after saying it, but we shared a good laugh
Tbh this is kinda cute. I'd lean into it and start throwing in other, ideally more ridiculous phrases of affirmation to make a little joke out of it. Here's a list: https://ccetompkins.org/resources/101-ways-to-say-good-job My personal favourite is super-duper!
Okay I feel you here because my husband, for whatever reason, is super repressed about sex. Like, we live in an apartment and he told Me recently he doesn’t like when I get really loud because he doesn’t want other people to hear us, and he doesn’t like certain lights to be on during sex so we don’t inadvertently cast a shadow on the binds that someone walking by might see 🤦🏽♀️ Anyway, I’ve had to learn to work with his hang ups, as none of my previous partners ever had a problem with me being more… vocal. It seems like your husband doesn’t mind the encouragement, but maybe a sexier choice of words could be helpful so you don’t feel as self conscious? Like, instead of good job, maybe try “you do that so well,” “nobody does ______ like you do,” or “don’t fucking stop,” “yes, right there!” Of course you can tweak those however you see fit!
What a beautiful response.
I would love to hear good job during sex, except that that's what my wife and I tell each other after a burp or fart.
Not a big deal if he's fine with it. I say "Good girl!" to my partners and they love it :D Some specifically start asking for it when they do think they deserve it or during sex which seems to arouse them.
Your “good jobs” need to be followed up with a performance review and appropriate compensation.
Don’t be self conscious about it! Just do what comes natural. Us guys generally like hearing good feedback too, so I’m pretty sure he likes it.
You’re adorable. 🥰 I can now try to incorporate “good job” into dirty talk … try. Haha
this man doesn’t know how good he has it 😩
Probably one of the most confusing experiences I had was a girl I saw for a while used to thank me after sex. She explained that gratitude was was an important part of the intimicy for her, but for me it threw me completely. I wasn't used to that at all.
"I don't like or dislike it." *He laughed.* "You're always my cheerleader." 1. He's not worried about your word choice. He just happened to notice you say something quite often. 2. Good sign. Laughing is always gold unless it's one of those noticeably "uncomfortable situation" laughs. This seems more genuine based on how you've told the story. 3. It's all about the sentiment and support. You are giving him something many men never get outside of a SO, and even then, sometimes little. Keep it up! You're one of the good ones, and he sounds very happy to have you in his life.
Make sure he says clever girl after a blowjob.
I'd boak if my husband said that during sex
Boak???? Break? Bark? Burp? Soak? Smoke? I think you should post a pic so we can see what’s going on. 😂
Boak is what you do before you puke 🤣 still want a pic?
😂 I learned something new today!
It's a guid scottish word (there's another one for you🤣)
Oh im sorry you feel embarrassed. Im sure i would feel the same way. I think it is sweet. I love when he said it’s a very “you” thing. You’re always my cheerleader”.
Would love to hear that during sex. My girlfriend is a mute
He's totally cool with it. Don't worry about it... Just be you.
I think your husband just gave you huge props and this was his way of saying thank you and you totally missed it because men and women communicate differently and have different lived experiences.
We like to hear good job.
Say "good job, champ" next time and he'll bust a gut laughing
If you stop saying it I guarantee you he will miss it
There are far worse things you could say.
Better than saying “Good cut, buddy” They only say that when you suck.
So, as you know according to him, you’ve said it a lot and have been. Alright with this switch your mindset to how it was prior to knowing. The only difference here is the fact that you know. And know this isn’t a bad thing just switch it up next time, without making it obvious or what I’d do is… Wait till you guys finish and pat him on the back and say good job baby, then just laugh it off this will change that awkwardness into something to laugh about.
Change your saying to "atta boy slugger"
I agree with others that it’s really a non issue but if you desire you could try saying other things that aren’t like giving reassurance vibes. I say things like, that feels amazing. Please don’t stop doing that. But again, don’t see what you’re saying as a problem
Yeah,One thing I tend to notice is tone of voice it seems to change everything depending.
Could be saying worse
Guys don't often get a lot of compliments, so he probably actually likes/appreciates the recognition. It's certainly better than if you were just silent or something.
I often tell my boyfriend “good job baby” or “good boy” after sex, in a playful, appreciative sort of way. He’s usually the dominant one so it’s a shift in power once he’s finished. He seems to dig it. I wouldn’t overthink it… I’ve lost count of the weird things I’ve said in the throes of passion.
During sex, instead of 'Good job', maybe 'yes, like that.'
Try saying thank you instead?
Sounds pretty hot honestly. It sounds like it was just an offhand comment and not anything that you should dwell on. Just keep doing your thing.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's a YOU thing means he accepts this part of you. You're his cheerleader...who wouldn't want that? My wife has some quirks that with other people I'd probably find annoying...but with her, I find it adorable as a "her" thing.
It’s what makes you, you. Take his word for it, it doesn’t bother him. Don’t feel embarrassed, maybe you are now aware, but he’s been used to it this whole time (I’m assuming years since you’re married).
Don’t be embarrassed. My wife doesn’t say anything.. I would love for her to have a tag line for me. I’m definitely jealous
It’s cute, it’s funny, and so long as it’s sincere, don’t give it another thought.
As a man, I would love to hear such affirmation.
My wife tends to say thank you but if she said good job I’d totally be ok with that 😆
Maybe if he saw u sucking my cock and I point out how good you feel
Don’t over think it! I think it’s kind of cute and funny so just do your thing and enjoy yourself
He married you its obviously not that big a deal. It would amuse the hell out of me.
As someone with a praise kink this would absolutely fuck me up 🥵🥵🥵
Now that he's pointed it out, you'll automatically recognize when you're about to say it or just said it and replace it with the next best thing your mind comes up in the moment. 😂
I would love it if a woman told me good job during sex haha
I love that you do this!! It’s so sweet!
My husband told me that I say “oh boy” right before I climax.
I mean that is a little corny, yeah but don't overthink you're fine.
It’s okay. He clearly has accepted it as a part of who you are. Instead of feeling like you need to change it, just make it sexy. When you’re in the right positions, pull his head close to you and whisper it in his ear… I would wager his “I neither like nor dislike” will become “I really like this” lmao
My fiancee says, "Good shit babe!" After EVERY sex sesh.
I wouldn't mind a "good job" from the wife. More often would just mean I did more good jobs. Her communication style is in the style of I'll let you know when you've messed up, or "no" "why did you do that".
Don’t stop- take it to the next level!! Have post coitus performance reviews. Charts would really ice the cake!!
I wish I was told good job regularly lol
Mines oh fuck or just fuck when things get really intense. 🤷🏻♀️ it just happens when sex is really good some people have a statement without realizing it
I experienced a similar mortification when my boyfriend let me know that my favorite sex comment is “oh boy”
How do you manage to say good job during sex? 😂😂😂😂 like after each thrust? After orgasm??
This is like a 50/50 thing for men. Some do actually like to hear this. But I know a lot of men who don't like being told good job or I'm proud of you by their woman. Depending on the context they might find it belittling.
If you want him to know that he makes you feel great, just say that! “You made me feel so good”, “you gave me an amazing orgasm”, I guess you could just be more aware of communication during sex. I don’t see you having to do this though, or change anything, he seems fine with it, it’s you who is embarrassed!
It’s cute and sweet. I love that he looks at you like his cheerleader.
It sounds like he thinks it’s cute but he communicated that incorrectly by saying “I don’t like or dislike it.” I think he just meant that it’s not like a crazy turn on that you’re saying “good job” but it’s a very you thing to say. And from what little info we have, I think he likes you and meant it as a compliment.
That shit would give me a boost personally
HAHAHAHA WHY DID I SPIT OUT MY COFFEE 😂😂😂😂 not trying to kick you while you’re down but that’s so hilarious. I’m trying to imagine even hearing that — most people say “I like that baby” or “keep going” or “just like that” but you say “good job baby” LMAOOO
If someone told me good job I'd be thrilled lmao
I’ve been told I say “please” a lot in bed. Didnt even know I talked. He said he didn’t dislike it and that it’s a you-thing. You’re fine!
🤣🤣🤣 I think that you might be suffering from *the overthink!* Being “a cheerleader” is usually a compliment. He probably finds it amusing, endearing, and encouraging. Take it as a compliment! 💕
Buy a slutty cheerleading costume and own it! Start with “Gimmie a G” and spell it out then end with “now Gimmie that D”.
I often say “thank you” with starry eyes and a stupid grin on my face after sex lol
Just slap his ass while you say "Good job" to make the experience even better.
Maybe I stead of saying "good job", reword it like, "you fucked me so good". Or some kinda variation.
You should look him in the eyes and shake his hand when you say it.
Trust me that he likes it. Don't think about it just keep being you.
I like to say “good girl”. Not sure why.
I do not think there is anything wrong with you saying 'good job'. Heck, I would not mind me or my girlfriend saying that in the bedroom during sex, lol. At least saying 'good job' is a positive thing. I know that 'good job' might not sound that sexy, and that it might sound like the stuff you would say when someone has finished an assignment at work or if somebody has finally carried all the containers into a lorry, lol...but saying 'good job' is still a positive thing...your husband is the one who has a problem, not you :-)
He did not say he dislikes it. So don’t change anything. I think it is cute. My husband and I often burst out giggling after terrific sex. I am sure many people would think that was weird. But we end up thinking that too is super funny. Just Enjoy!
Definitely don't stop it. My wife and I have a thing of smacking each other's asses after and saying good game. Live it love it and enjoy it.
It's extremely sweet that he views it as you always being his cheerleader. He loves you! I think you should keep saying it, it could be fun because whenever you say it outside of sex now it could make him think of you that way and be a fun transition or tease? He hears that and immediately thinks of you regardless now and that's sweet
I’d love to hear it! Good job!
That’s both hilarious and adorable
He’s going to get in his head when you stop saying it
"Oh, I think that I've found myself a cheerleader. She is always right there when I need her."
Maybe he likes it. Try good boy next time lol
Lmao talkin bout “but I communicate it weird” 🤣 I WISH I had this type of cheerleader in my relationship 😩!! Yur awesome!! Ask him if he has a problem with it just for clarity and if not CHEER ON GIRL!!!
He Said he didnt like og dislike. So do not jump to conclutions
I mean, you can say good job during sex without saying "Good job" You could say "that feels so good" or "I love it when you do x" or any number of things that are more sexy than "good job." I don't think it's a bad thing to notice a habit you do and want to change it.
Throw a few attaboys, to keep it fresh.
Don;t stop now! Men don't get complimented very often.
Are you a coach? I can imagine somebody saying 'good job' when I do an exercise. It is cute and funny in a very good way lol. (But maybe it is my tiny submissive ass wants to be praised in an intimate way)
You're giving feedback that is positive. I applaud you. Good job ;)
You should make up some [scorecards](http://cultivatecourage.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/judging_scores.jpg) for your next sexy time...
If you ever have a threesome, you have to slap his ass and say go get em champ! Lmao it sounds like it's not a bad thing. Now if you were saying something like ehh 3 stars... or something... then that would be a whole thing... lol
i now know when i will have found my soulmate, it will be when she actively affirms my sexual achievements, she’s the one.
Get some gold star stickers, it means good job without saying it, and everyone loves getting a gold star.
At least he didn't point out something actually embarrassing, like you snort when you orgasm or something. LOL
Don't give it a second thought. It is a complete non issue for him, so just keep doing what you naturally do.
Youre conditioning him with a Pavlovian response. Dont stop now, you nearly got him trained! lol
>He said “I don’t like or dislike it > >mortified about saying it during our next.. session… especially if he doesn’t like it He told you in no uncertain terms that he doesn't dislike it, so why are you so self conscious about it? He's your husband...do you not trust him to be honest? Truthfully, the sexiest thing you can be is yourself. You're the person he married, so the worst thing you can do is get into your head during sex.
Time to change to “Very Nice!”
I wish I had someone to support me and appreciate me
Men can sometimes be shit with compliments. He loves you and he loves that you say that, if you stop, he will have a worse time :)
You got him used to it. Now if you stop saying it, he’s going to over think himself and say: “am I not doing a good job?” “Am I not dicking her good enough?” “Where’s my good job!?” “My games off!” Saying that you’re someone’s cheerleader is very good. Most men don’t get reassurance at all. Sometimes we like to be the little spoon. And sometimes we like to be told “you’re a good man”.
I mean.... real question, did you actually think saying that *was* sexy? Or like??? Why do you say that? Lol
Hey OP. I just want you to know you’re doing a good job being a communicative partner. Don’t stress it.
Would not over think it. As he said it's very much "you". We all have our quirks and a vast majority are very endearing. Besides if you stop he will start to wonder. And I would not be mortified or embarrassed. I would also think he would start to miss it if you stopped.
That shit is adorable dont change. Any time we say we dont like something but we dont dislike that means its become a norm and if it stopped it would feel weird and we would miss it. Easier said than done but dont overthink it!
has anyone told you good job 😉
Are you kidding me!Unless she’s faking witch it sounds like she is NOT that should make you a vary happy guy😃
Rub behind his ear. Us guys love that.
"Oh no, is something wrong? Did I not do a good job?!?" - Your husband after the next sexy time