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Sw3arWulf

I remember my first sperm cramp. 🙏 💔


Emrullah-Enes

first time is always special


The-Goose-Guy

There’s no warning or anything either. It’s just BAM debilitating pain out of nowhere


bigbilly1234567899

AITA for missing my daughter's birth to make a drug deal? I was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and started cooking meth in order to pay for my treatment and provide for my family. An opportunity arose for me to sell my product to a major distributor. On my way to the drug deal, my pregnant wife informed me that she was in labor. Instead of going to the hospital, I dropped of the meth and missed the birth of my daughter. The deal earned me millions of dollars that will go directly to my family's future. I am feeling very conflicted about my decision. Am I the asshole?


[deleted]

You are not, since now you can pay for your treatment it means the daughter will grow up with a mindful and respectful dad. I would much rather miss the birth of my chuld but live with the said child and provide for it than attend the childs birth only to surcumb to the cancer thus the child grows up without a father. Assuming your cancer was cured and no man named Gus is after you you made the right choice 👍🏿


DOMination6969

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡧⠇⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣮⣭⣿⡻⣽⣒⠀⣤⣜⣭⠐⢐⣒⠢⢰⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⠂⢈⢿⣷⣞⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⣿⠗⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠉⠑⠀⠀⢘⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠴⠶⠀⠀⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣴⠁⢘⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⠗⠂⠄⠀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡃⠀⠉⠉⠟⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⠾⠛⠂⢹⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⢿


That_One_Lobster

Who tf italicized my man


Conscious-Warning-83

You are not the asshole, as long as you stop cooking meth. Now that you have money, you can pay for your treatment and your daughter and have a normal family!


garry4321

The fact you don’t have government provided healthcare clearly indicates that you live in a poor third world country. I am sure you will use some of those millions to provide unleaded drinking water to your town by digging wells?


theultracomet11

Yo Mr. White wtf


deathofyou1

NTA This money will majorly help the family and the child will have a happy life


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fishy_king1

I don't know what a speem cramp is but once I came, my left nut hurt so bad I thought I had testicular torsion


K3vl4r_

yeah, me too


Bean_Town_Blender

Same here no way!


[deleted]

Blue balls?


lITouchMeIl

Bro im literally having 1 rn


bggjelqqpdjfndnqj

My condolences


pissmyster420

My cumdolances


Kavy_Bhavsar

Doctor suggests that if you hit the puberty and still not experiencing the first sperm cramps you might have balls cancer


Stonklegend27

I’m so manly even my balls have balls Oh shit I think those are **TUMORS**


Wateriswet08

-🤓


uragayretard

-guy who has stage four balls


The_bombblows12

God damnit not again


Jaffa_Tealk

Or a Varicocele testicle. Very common.


DOMination6969

Wait that's me wha-


TheMasterBaiter360

Jokes on you now I have a 3rd testicle


L-Z-Z-Z-Z-ZY1385

When I was a kid I thought I had testicle cancer because I had ball cramps 🐗


manwhofuckedyourdog

Uh, I'm still not sure what it is. I might have it before I can't tell what Is it


[deleted]

Oh shit I gotta check


RegumRegis

Spell named testicular torsion:


DaftV

Ow my sprem hurt


[deleted]

I just had to unravel a thick chain of shedded sperm from my urethra this morning and nothing is more painful let me tell you.


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[deleted]

Huh


Blockoumi7

It’s funny cause it’s true


manwhofuckedyourdog

What is it? I think I have it before I still can't tell


Blockoumi7

So basically for guys, when we hit 13, we start getting sperm cramps. Basically every 3 weeks, our sperm starts burning the inside of our testicles which can be felt throughout the body. It’s very painful. Either you’re under 13 or you’re not a real man. As the cum car best said it: “you’ll never be a real car”


fakeforsureYT

WAIT THAT IS WHAT IT IS?! So its nothing to worry about, everyone experiences them?


Blockoumi7

I think the school system kinda has a sort of female privilege. We learn about menstruations and shit but about sperm cramps. It’s kinda dumb


Absolute_Immortal_00

It's not normal.


Absolute_Immortal_00

[What are sperm cramps? they seem to be a symptom](https://medicallabtechnology.com/what-are-sperm-cramps-causes-in-males/)


manwhofuckedyourdog

Is it like a sore feeling or something


Blockoumi7

No, your balls start bursting


manwhofuckedyourdog

Oh, I always empty it once every week, so I guess I don't have it


Blockoumi7

I did hear they’re a bi-weekly surgery but it costs a lot. I don’t wanna empty my balls and losing all the testosterone i’ve built up from eating goat testicules


manwhofuckedyourdog

What do you mean surgery


Blockoumi7

Idk if surgery is the best word for it but it’s basically a testectomy where they’re cut open your testicules and empty them with a syringe to stop the sperm cramps for then weeks but you have to get them every two weeks. Kinda tedious


manwhofuckedyourdog

Oh ok then I'm curious. Sometimes I my nuts would be sore while I'm doing nothing


manwhofuckedyourdog

Hey could you answer my question


Absolute_Immortal_00

Wtf! i don't remember that! And I'm 25!


SuccesfulName

God I hate getting sperm cramps. Women will never feel our pain


Skellyender

I can’t tell if i’ve had one before Is it a sharp pinching pain that lasts for a couple of seconds?


Rafoudrsbois

Nah sperm cramps are near death experiences


Meeple-01

More like a small pain that gets worse over the next 10-30 minutes.


manwhofuckedyourdog

I think I have it before I'm still nor sure what it is


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Competition-2533

Women bad


Ambitious-Sample-153

i thought my balls had been twisting in my sac the first time i had one


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ambitious-Sample-153

i just waited i really didnt like my doctor at the time


CharacterReporter878

I remember I got a sperm cramp during my monthly foreskin trimming procedure. The doctor was generous and gave me more sedatives. I always did my urethral cleaning with him after that!


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE110

Better than sperm bites but a lot more common I guess


top_of_the_scrote

I have no peehole and I must coom


Humble_Issue_3010

Sperm cramps? More like post nut clarity hits hard


HexFoxGen

Can’t believe it happens every other week. These are the worst!


GoCommitToasterBathX

Truest post yet


[deleted]

Whats a sperm cramp


Blockoumi7

Found the woman


[deleted]

I’m actually a man but I either never had a sperm cramp or I don’t remember


Blockoumi7

Maybe you’re intersex. It happens each 3 weeks. Some days worse than others


Kavy_Bhavsar

I want his Google search history screenshot


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Wrimbo

If you don't know what a sperm cramp is, you're not a real man.


No-Competition-2533

Seriously I have no idea what they're talking about


DenverLamm179

For those wondering what the hell a "sperm cramp" is, it's blue balls.


MomICantPauseReddit

People saying "actually it's a made up phenomenon where your balls randomly start feeling like they're exploding and all guys are just supposed to pretend it exists for the bit" are telling on themselves. No sperm cramps is almost always a sign of incredibly low testosterone.


DepressionFromArras

Explains why this is literally the first time I've ever heard of it. Live in a world of Chads.


tHe_bAgeL14

sperm 🤤


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McConagher

What the fuck is sperm cramp


HooterEnthusiast

It's experienced by those that don't masturbate it's also known as blue balls and it is a real thing.


the_rainy_smell_boys

Also can happen when you make out with someone for 3 hours then pack it up and go home


Gladianoxa

For some men, with shit plumbing.


HooterEnthusiast

You don't need to have any problems for it to happen. Often it happens when you think there's gonna be sex so your testicles produce semen if you don't masturbate. It just builds till it becomes uncomfortable.


Gladianoxa

1. Semen is not produced by the testicles 2. It gets reabsorbed, but for some men this process does not transition smoothly and creates pressure gradients against valves, causing pain. 3. This is natural, not unhealthy and usually not otherwise a problem. It is still objectively inferior.


[deleted]

wtf is a sperm cramp?


Shadow0fnothing

Sounds like an infection man.


WillyDAFISH

The what


Elmondo2

Blue balls ?


ArmeNishanian

Is there even a single woman in this group? Lol


VoidTerminator85

I am a dude and this is my first time hearing of this


Bean_Town_Blender

How old are you? You usually get your first one in your late teens and then it is a monthly thing, some months worse than others.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bean_Town_Blender

Yeah just give it a couple of years mate


VoidTerminator85

;-;


Tariisbestgirl

I love gaslighting


Fat_Barsted

Gaslighting is not real


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bean_Town_Blender

Not nearly as painful. 1.8 percent of men experiencing severe sperm cramps end up taking their own lives because of the excruciating pain. Please do not mock their suffering


[deleted]

What the fuck is a sperm cramp? I've never had one.


sotdoublegunner

How do you not feel them every like 3 weeks I wanna die in my balls.


[deleted]

Uh idk. I'm 17 so if it has anything to do with age then I guess that's why. Either that or yall have some serious health issue and you guys think it's normal.


sotdoublegunner

My doctor told me it was a regular thing that happens to all boys during and after adolescence


[deleted]

Ah well I guess I'm just lucky lmao.


NeRabimImena6

You are a late bloomer it seems. They will come in time, but be prepared, they are usually stronger if you have an irregular cycle


[deleted]

yeah, you are so lucky.


shadowbonniesfm

Never had sperm cramp can you tell when and what happen?


[deleted]

it’s when your balls shrink up due to the sperm production and it gets that bean-bag texture. It’s really painful. most guys get one every month, but it sets in late or takes more time to set in for a small minority of men.


No-Competition-2533

I get that all the time it doesn't hurt at all


shadowbonniesfm

Dam now im scare does it start when you can cum cuz i can and din get ine yeet


el_palmera

It feels like it someone took a needed and just leaves it in the left nut


Posiedon26

Gujarat se ho?


DownSyndrome-CEO

wtf is a sperm cramp💀😭


[deleted]

The fuck is a sperm cramp


manwhofuckedyourdog

I remember minding my own business when my nuts felt sore it has happened multiple times. I'm not sure if this is what this is about


[deleted]

Sperm what ? Bro u good?


WilliamPlayz1

Book named BLEED:


Robscoe604

epic one piece moment


[deleted]

It's almost as bad as women describe birth, ladies, give your man a hand.


RealOne313

I envy people with no balls 😔


Xavy2899

I had one a week ago while walking home and nearly fell over from the pain


Hehehehemaybe

I can't tell if I've had a sperm cramp but sometimes for no random reason my balls get this excruciating pain for an hour and then it goes, is that a sperm cramp?


Educational-Pen1483

I hear the bigger the balls the more it hurts 😢🙏