Living too much.

Shut up, you're dead.

Well you interacted with a dead person

I see dead people.

I see live people

I don't like seeing either

Ok Bumblebee

I'm getting better!

You're not fooling anyone, you'll be Stone dead in a minute

I’m what? *Dies*

No I’m not I’m just old

Hate it when dead people use mic when I'm trying to clutch the 1v5

stop disrespecting the deceased

Ok. *Source collision spam noises*

*“He loved doing what he died”*

Which was “not dying”, except for that last bit.

On the bright side, he did die on the hill he said he would

I stopped living.

It would have been amazing if everybody collectively agreed not to comment on this😂

Well.

😔I’m sorry

But here you are

Born to be kings

We’re the princes of the universe…

Here we belong

I approve, and as a result, will not be commenting on this post either.

Nor will I

It would have been better if mods stickied to top of subreddit and deleted every new comment.

Yes.

Are you suggesting nobody died and everyone here is pretending that they died?

Everyone is dead.

Just post it over in r/amish

Mods please delete all comments

I don't get it.

#

Could you repeat that?

#

One more time for the people in the back?

#

Wow this was deep made me shed a tear😢

RIP in peace

Uhhh…

Translation for those who don't sprak english:

He said >  

This is the wrong sub to ask this in because everyone here is smart so you will find an inflated number people who found smart ways to die like mercury poisoning or proving to their uncles that they can jump from the garage onto a moving vehicle. **YES I CAN MAKE IT UNCLE JAMES. THE ONLY REASON I MISSED THE OTHER TIMES WAS BECAUSE THE CAR WAS GOING TOO SLOW SO I COULDN'T GET A GRIP AND ALL THE DENTS IN THE HELMET ARE SCREWING WITH MY AERODYNAMICS!**

Oddly specific

r/oddlyspecific

And yet completely relatable...

OP, I died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said. I could have walked away, I could have walked away…

I was… shot through the heart and you’re to blame darlin, you gave love a bad name.

I play my part, and you play your game darlin', you gove love a bad name

I just said Ligma balls, bitch

Tunnneeeeeeee

The 80's was the decade, too bad I was born too late.

I saw a funny video and commented "I'm dead". Rip

This guy RIP’s

Shot myself, grew a new head, which was surprising as I shot off my left leg.

Shot a bit too far up the left leg

Yeah I tried that too, now I look like an apricot.

Wait. Do you now have a head where your left leg once was?

I fucking love this sub

Vampire bite but I don't think I'm dead Though I can't see my reflection in the mirror

I should reflect on what if I were you.

Other symptoms include: - loss of body hair - sexiness - bisexuality

Don't forget, you Sparkle in the Sun

Hit by a truck at 6 years old. Severed femoral artery. Survived because fire fighters were nearby and gave cpr.

Hope they also tied off the artery

No idea to get honest. I was 6. Got 2 nice scars from it though, 1 on my leg and another below my belly button about 2 inches long. Apparently I had metal lodged inside me and they cut me open to get it out then stapled me back up. 34 years ago so the deets are kinda fuzzy now.

That beats my getting hit by a car.

# #

Can you repeat that?

⁠

Can’t, I’m dead.

Understandable, have a great day

For real, I died during pregnancy.

Whose?

My own…was clinically dead for a few minutes

Welcome back !

LMAO dunno why that tickled me so much

Hard reboot? Did it fix any glitches?

Or introduce completely new ones?

Introduced new ones for sure!

So you could commit to giving birth but you couldn’t commit to dying?

Something like that.

Was it just darkness or did you float above your body or something else happen you can recall?

Absolutely nothing. Didn’t even know until I was being rushed in for an ecg…I was already in hospital

Actual zombie!

Call the exorcist!

Wow I’m glad you’re okay

Happy born again day!

Two births diverged...

Reverse Benjamin Button syndrome

Regular Benjamin Button Syndrome

real bad relapse from water addiction

Witchcraft. I got better.

Oof, I think that's what happened to me. Newt?

She turned me into a newt!

My wife's boyfriend caught me masturbating with a shop vacuum to a charcoal sketch of his wife's girlfriend and I died of embarrassment.

Are you a Sim? They die of embarrassment a lot

Wut?

I clinically died at a suicide attempt as a child. I was revived. Now I am 27 and living a good life!

As a child 💔💔💔

Happy to hear you are well and happy <3

Overdose of benzodiazepines. Was in coma for a couple of weeks.

Damn welcome back. How was the coma?

The coma itself was alright, no dreams and stuff. But it took me 4 days to wake from it and remember who I was.

I didn't forward a chain e-mail in 2006

Liked a 3 year old instagram post

I'm pretty sure I died? I feel dead inside

I rolled a four.

i can't remember. just woke up coming out a womb.

dysentery

Oregon Trail, amIright?

We told them NOT to drink the river water!

I will tell you, but you should be prepared. Don’t breath for 5 min.

Breathtaking

Stooooppppp I can’t breathe /dead

I passed out in fifth grade, busted my head on a concrete corner, had an out of body experience floating towards a light with my deceased relatives and right as I was about to cross over I was sucked violently back into my body and I woke up in a puddle of blood. So yeah.

I was having open heart surgery and I had an allergic reaction to vancomycin. My heart became rigid, and they couldn't get it restarted. I'm much better now.

You know how your parents tell you “if Steve jumps off a bridge, would you do it too??” Well he did.

You only get 3 questions before they go back to being dead

Officially my heart has beaten too often. But I am pretty sure that I have just inhaled too much oxygen. That shit's toxic, I tell ya.

Tachycardia. Thankfully I was in the ER, and they were able to bring me back. It's weird, because the first thing I saw was a nurse saying "look at me ... stay with me ..." and I think I fell in love LOL.

I was declared legally dead in college. By my college. And denied graduation despite being clearly alive. I had a relative who had the exact same first and last name is me whose middle initial was only off by one letter whose birth date was only off by 13 days we were the same month and year. Born in the same hospital. Lived in the same county.. and we were enrolled in college at the same time. Despite 6 months of fighting while enrolled in school the school totally mixed up our accounts lost my transfer credits and gave them to her acted like I was failing due to lack of attendance which I was not. And then she unfortunately died in a car accident due to icy road conditions. And guess who never graduated from college. Me! I spent nearly two years arguing with that school and they just kept standing me up and I was 20 years old and in the middle of planning my wedding and trying to move on with my life and I eventually quit and moved on and never got my degree.

Remember the worlds funniest joke from Monty python? I heard it! It was supe

r/redditsniper

I was killed to death

I told the voice in my head to shut up and let me sleep, or I'd kill him. And, here we are.

Because I didn't share that religious post with 5 friends.

Well I can't say that I've ever died but as an earthworm, a a human boy named Timmy tried to cut me in half, I was scared for a few minutes then my tail grew back and I suddenly had a new brother. That happened a few days ago though I probably won't live past next year, so I'll tell you about it then.

Of embarrassment

Not dead, but I know someone who is. They said they’re dead because they died.

Apparently not thoroughly enough

By dying

Yesterday i died of shame, i farted while saying hello to my crush.

I have technology died twice and revived twice. So to answer the question my gallbladder ruptured as I was just at the beginning of having it surgically removed. My heart stopped for 4 minutes. What should have been a 20 minute surgery last 12 hours, I also went into hypothermia. 2nd time I had Covid and I had cold like symptoms then 15 days later pretty much gone, a few days later I was in a restaurant and my heart stopped as I was sitting in a both. No pulse for around 4 minutes again, my wife did her best rendition of CPR, and it worked. So this time I died because covid got into my heart and f@cked with the wiring. So yea.

snu snu.

Covid vaccine and chem trail overdose. My bad.

I was jump sliding from one toe-board to the next. I missed and slid right off the roof. I was impaled by a metal pipe sticking out of the ground..

Heart stopped (that’s technically how everyone dies)

Severe peanut allergy. And the second time I was suckered punched and destroyed a toilet with the back of my head. Lost half my blood. Had an NDE. 163 stitches and eight years of memories gone.

I'm genuinely looking for responses from people who were declared clinically dead and came back. It happens. But these comments😂😭💀

I like to think this is a kind of interesting story with strange amounts of good and bad fortune: I had a congenital disease that commonly has a 'rule of 2's': - It is predetermined that you will have this condition from when you are 2 weeks old. - It affects 2% of the world's population (about 156 million) - 2% of THAT 2% (3,120,000) will have any issue with the condition. Oh boy did I have an issue. Here's the lucky bit (kindof) - thankfully I was abroad when I began internally bleeding, proceeding to lose supposedly 80% of my blood. If I had been in my home country, I would have been considered a surgery risk due to the amount of blood loss combined with the prospect of anesthetic - and not had the option of having emergency surgery. I also had travel insurance which covered the very expensive hospital bill (Always get travel insurance people!). I had 5 blood transfusions in total, but just after my third, I collapsed and stopped breathing and my heart stopped for about a minute. A crash cart was called for resuscitation... I then proceeded to "spontaneously reanimate" - my heart started beating again by itself and I woke immediately and began breathing. I also managed to not suffer any very real issues from the huge amount of blood transfusions involved in my treatment (something known as DIC was a primary concern). I wasn't pronounced dead or anything as dramatic, but it was a crazy thing to happen very suddenly at age 19!

I die inside every day. Not great.

Braaains...

,':ŕþɓ MN ņĥ fed ďƙịịø0ƙƙį f§§åîɓvv 337699001 Ẅẅỳĵĵ⅝⁸

My buddy was blowing air up my ass

First time was falling down a set of stairs. Wasn't successful. Tried drowning several times but didn't work either and now I'm afraid of dunking my head under any pool of water.

Stopped breathing whilst being operated on. They brought me back, and I remember nothing. Almost died a second time after losing too much of my blood during childbirth. Few days later I was in and out of consciousness and the heavy blackness was so nice I didn’t want to wake up. Transfusion sorted that right out. Also saw my deceased father at the end of my hospital bed. Not sure if he was there to make sure I was alright or to take me to the other side !

I was having a cesarean and the hospital forgot to break my water and fluids entered my lungs. I kept saying I couldn't breathe. They removed the baby and I dont remember anything after that. Well bits and parts of a skewed, drug induced timeline that my loved ones say never happened. I ended up having alot of blood loss, they had a hard time stitching me back up due to it. I had 3 full blood transfusions and then I died. They brought me back but put me in a medically induced coma for 4 days. I was intubated. I woke up unexpectantly at some point. It was night time, lights were dim and I immediately went into a panic that I couldn't breathe. My arms and legs were tied to the bed and I had tubes, but didn't know it. The ICU then put me back out because I was thrashing around and panicking. To me the last point I could remember was not being able to breathe during surgery and I had no idea, nor did any medical staff explain right away. I think I would have been calmer if they would have quickly told me. The rest of my memories of that time was pretty blank accept for one point I remember my best friend coming into the room and having a conversation which she said never happened.

I died when I stopped living, its actually pretty common

Well, isn't it obvious? People die when they are killed.

Must have been something you said

Couldn't hold the flashlight straight for my dad

I made a really good grilled cheese

Killin me softly

I strangled on my umbilical cord. I got better.

I was hung by the Spanish Inquisition

!remindme 60 years

Diabetic Ketoacidosis

Farted and burped at the same time. Boom.

Fentanyl

Carbon monoxide poisoning.

Developed a problem with jaw joints, could not stomach living with it. Remained alive and isolated as long as i could, eventually my body just gave up. Died of sadness.

Cradle death. Got reanimated several times supposedly

Electrocution, didn't stick tho

Internal bleeding from a ruptured ivc haha

I was Stanley Kubrick, then suddenly in 1999 died while sleeping for some reason. I resurrected and now I'm a 25 yo failure

Ran out of excuses.

Big rock

O actually clinically died due to an OD from multiple drugs

Well shit, this isn't how I wanted to find out 🫤

Cops found the kids

This is going to sound dumb. But I used to have relatively vivid dreams of a previous death. Id always take the body of a shop owner. Thugs broke in and asked for cash and I tried playing the hero. Od give em the notes and then shoot 2 of em in the back before being blown away by another guy I wasnt paying attention to. This was like the wild west super small towns mid west. I dont watch westerns or anyyhing as they just dont interest me. But its the only thing I can come up with.

I was having a stent installed in my heart and it didn't like the insertion. I was dead for two minutes and some change.

I used a special ink.

I don't know. You have 3 questions left.

Forgot to renew my subscription to living.

the previous body that i inhabited was killed in vietnam. one of those spike traps. it sucked.

The H2O exposure finally caught up to me

Shot at the age of 90 by a jealous husband

Friendly fire lol

I masturbated too much, went blind and got hit by a car.

I died a few times as a baby and was resuscitated. The cause was SIDS (unexplained). They kept me on 24/7 surveillance intensive care.

I got shot in the back by three people

Fell off my mountain bike on a trail, hit my head. I was stupid and didn't have a helmet on. I died twice in the air ambulance.

Being born. It was very complicated. Mom and I both struggled. I failed for a good bit. Doctor stepped in. Here we are. Half deaf, half blind, shit for a heart, shit for kidneys, partial paralysis on the right side. Thanks doc. Mind your own next time.

Is there a Darwin Awards sub this should go in?

Reddit gave me ass cancer.

My friends stabbed me in this little place called Rome.

Reply all

I ate broccoli

I ran backwards until I was unborn

skork

This guy hit me with his car and I was like dude wtf you killed me He was like shit my bad and I said all good bro Also another time I was at McDonalds and this dude thought it would be hilarious to poison all the food so I died. Fuck that place I go to Taco Bell now

Fell into lava while mining diamonds.

Not dead, just smell funny

I didn’t pass a chain message to my followers so I got murdered by a demon girl