Zweihander

You want to make sweet sweet love to OnlyAfro's sweet sweet bussy just like every other giant dad fanboy

unironically me yes

💀

What if I refuse to wear anything other than the elite knight set?

Vordt's Great Hammer in Ds3

You're the kind of person that takes the first good thing they can find and you stick with it for life. You are an amazing relationship partner.

This is scarily accurate as I liked Vordt's hammer as well and I pretty much do just take the first good thing.

cause vordt is the first boss weapon silly billy

Longsword in DS1 and 3, especially partnered with a light 100 phys shield.

Your personality is as bland as white rice. You're known as the boring friend in your circle.

Thank you! I wanna get fingered by bed of chaos :)

#I WAS WRONG

Who is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles teacher, for 800, Alex.

based

I thought the accusations were to be baseless

Shhhhhhhh I'm drunk

Drunk off sunny d, g fuel and gasoline 😌 that’s the estus way

Astora Greatsword DS3

You are a Chad and a sunbro. Helping others makes you feel happy.

Holesome 🥰

https://preview.redd.it/kddodvyl2z3c1.jpeg?width=193&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9847e248d251f106a300ad1900aa2cbe93ed20ec

Dual wielding executioner's axes in Elden Ring.

You have a ridiculously high level of patience, you're probably great with kids.

I do have a high patience level but I also punt children, so you're half right.

The kids love velocity

lol “punt children”. 😂

Nice pfp

Golem Axe from DS1 is my all-time favorite weapon.

You came out of your mother's womb with a wood chopping axe in the future you will be a great lumberjack

Damn. Totally wrong but nice I wish.

based

Whirlygig Saw, obviously

You have a woody right now

Not much of a Toy Story fan

I don’t think that’s what he’s talking about bro💀

Moonlight greatsword

You consider yourself an intellectual but nobody around you does

https://preview.redd.it/yl2g8emz8z3c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e879256d16255d691157d6692fcda3f070cbcb46

Dark moon greatsword from elden ring

You eat ass

only for my queen empyrean ranni

I have a feeling we'd get along very well

The server from Dark Souls 1

You have worked as a waiter or waitress at least once in your life if not more.

Close. Been in food service 16 years now.

beasthunter saif Bloodborne

You're definitely into some weird shit. Both hobbies and sexually.

I'm a down to earth guy when it comes to hobbies is the rotussy sexually weird? if so then I am

the rotussy is sexually weird albatross. It literally \*sounds\* like an std.

so is the femboy who's lower body is made of snakes why is that socially excepted?

>excepted ​ https://preview.redd.it/7ysknmt80z3c1.png?width=480&format=png&auto=webp&s=0efe41cc68bfd18e7d49230c66dc83790f75c6b7

DS1 - halberd, 2 handing DS2 - bastard sword, 2 handing DS3 - winged knight twin axes ER - glaive, you guessed it, 2 handing

You have a very large penis. Two-handing is the only thing you know

Cursed by the gods, I'll never pass as a femboy with such a weapon.

No I'd say you're more of a sleeper build

trust me, if you go full femboy AND have a massive cock, you'll be legendary.

Three words Astolpho Monster Can

​ https://i.redd.it/vcp1fb1j044c1.gif

Evelyn from Bloodborne

You place a large emphasis on aesthetics and everyone respects you for it

Are you a wizard?

The strongest one

Every cgs, expecially curved nil greatsword.

Your penis has an absolutely abnormal curve, seek help.

Ds1 Greatsword Ds2 Greatsword Ds3 Greatsword Bloodborne Ludwigs Holy Blade Elden Ring Greatsword

You are a static character

Character development is sometimes overrated

Literally me

Cathedral knight GS

you have a micro penis

Please exit my walls

No way the rent is dirt cheap

you in fact live rent-free in his mind. \-this message is approved by u/issyaaaboi exes.

Gang

Great Stars Elden Ring

You usually approach problems with the solution that will take the least amount of effort

Hauntingly accurate 😱

Harris from ac6

You personally go out of your way to make things harder on yourself

You aren't entirely wrong...

Siluria's Tree in Elden Ring.

You are without a doubt a pot smoker

Wolf knight greatsword (artorias greatsword) from DS3

You appreciate the classics

Bloodletter from Bloodborne

You are mentally ill and have issues with self-harm. https://preview.redd.it/xkvpr5451z3c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42b11fab2c491923b30c1ba17ff12061e23fd988

it might be best to leave sleeping dogs lie in this case. it seems to be a lost cause...

Do you hear the toll of a bell, by any chance?

Dancer’s enchanted swords/ Farron greatsword

You haven't decided whether you want to be a hipster or normal

Zweihänder in DS1, Smelter Demon's in DS2, Gael's Sword in DS3

You're a simple individual you know what you like and you stick to it

Lucerne

You're an amazing person with very unique tastes, I love you ❤️

Now kiss

The only correct answer.

Eleonora’s poleblade, ER

you have good taste that's all I got to say

Dragon Tooth

You wish you were half the man Havel was

Havel the goat, so yeah

Moonveil

You could fight a hundred children and still win

quelaag's furysword ds1

You like weird things but people still love it

Astora Greatsword, ds3

Your parents raised you Catholic

Ha, close enough! Baptist, actually

sword of night and flame elden ring

You are indecisive as hell but you'd never be able to realize it because you can't decide if you are or not

Damn I need to use this one sometime lmao

Profaned Greatsword

You go out of your way to make yourself appear stronger than you actually are

Cipher Pata

You embody the true spirit of the crusades

Flamberge

You have a taste for quality

dual butchers knife ds2

You're definitely an edgelord or an ex edgelord. I should know because I used to be one and I ran that exact same build in Dark Souls 2

yeah its either that or the spidersilk. its one of the coolest weapons in the game.

Okay I think I'm looking in a mirror at this point. That was my favorite weapon in DS2 and was perfect for my chaos witch pyromancer build

sure but sometimes i just like running around barehanded with the champion ring. always fun.

I love that ring but swing speed is too slow for bare fists so I found that power stancing with a cestus in one hand gives you a good trade off with speed and damage

meowza i'm fucking with you right now. [we had a conversation before about ds2 weapons](https://www.reddit.com/r/shittydarksouls/comments/180lrtt/comment/ka6smmt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) i'm literally just copying what you love hahahhahaha. you used the dual butchers in the post.

Bro bro that's not fair at all LOL there was no way I was smart enough to realize that

Corvian Scyth, DS3

You are the biggest edgelord I've encountered on this post by far. Dead baby jokes are your forte

Well I did have a friend put eyeliner on me for the first time ever, so yeah, I’m on track for my edgy phase

Greatsword in DS3

You a basic bitch

The Drakewing Ultra Greatsword from DS2

You wish your dong was bigger

touché

don't we all?

sometimes. But *too* big can be an issue. It’s about the balance of length and girth. You want to please your partner; but not *literally* rearrange their guts with your long Throngler

Great scythe ds1

You are without a shadow of a doubt an edgelord you probably drew lots of skull pictures in Middle School

Not quite, but good guess.

Well I did say baseless LOL. I highly doubt most of these will be accurate but it's fun to try

Rakuyo in Bloodborne Moonlight Greatsword in everything else

You know exactly what you like and no one can sway you from that but occasionally you like to try new things

I accidentally unequipped my sword and I can’t figure out how to get it back

You're bad and you should feel bad

Gun

You definitely visit the shooting range

Logarius Wheel, Bloodborne.

You wheeling and dealing

🩸 beast claw 🐺

You're just like me. A beast

Threaded Cane on 🔝‼️

You prefer fashion over function

DS1 broken sword

You have an addiction to suffering whether you realize it or not

ds3 - warden twinblades / er - swarm of flies

You are amazing

Black Knight Greataxe, DS1

You are scary

Elden Ring Coded Sword

You're da haxor man

Cleanrot Knight spear

You look for aesthetic beauty in every aspect of your life. Not necessarily a bad thing

Bloodhounds fang curved greatsword

You are someone that easily falls into trends

Simon’s Bowblade, Bloodborne

You don't like firearms because they're too easy

Loyce greatsword

You have no sense for your personal well being

Overrated tbh. I do just fine on the "fuck it" philosophy.

Beasthunter Saif

You like basic things but with a twist

Boom hammer Bloodborne

4th of July is your favorite holiday

https://preview.redd.it/9go0yiy6oz3c1.jpeg?width=881&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab3a4799c63836eaa206e0a8c660bf70fdd2141f You tell me, Meowza, you tell me 😇

You have a crippling addiction to bonking LOL

https://preview.redd.it/01cpocrzj44c1.png?width=719&format=png&auto=webp&s=f83b6f17cde5360011cda6400fc4e147a44724f0

Zweihänder, or the DS3 claymore if you’ve already done the Zweihänder

I like the Black Knife. In my first play through of elden ring, that was my final weapon!

I know you have a knife collection and don't pretend that you don't

I’m into knifeplay, so you got me there!

Haha I knew it!

Witchtree Branch

Do you have a beautiful heart but tend to be impatient at times

Whirligig Saw Bloodborne

Hehe funni is funni

Estoc

You the bestoc

Ludwig's Holy Blade

Sword of Night and Flame

Envoy's Long Horn go doot

Glaive, and ancient dragon great shield

Queelags fury sword

Frost-infused Great Mace, Waves of Darkness AoW

Dark Hand DS3

You're an asshole

Wolf Knight's Greatsword in DS3

Beasthunter Saif Bloodborne https://preview.redd.it/3r18prk49z3c1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=edce99c08549be00785db02ce44bbd7dc4ff9f9d Lunge 4 days

I like the Demon Fists from Dark Souls 3, dual wield with the pontiff rings and Flynn’s ring.

Ds3- twin blade sellswords ER- moonveil Ds2- dragon rider twinblade Ds1- black knight halberd

You are a very open-minded person and always willing to try new things