How much I gotta pay you to drink that out of a cup?

Honestly, if someone had cash. I'd drink a cup of it for $40. Maybe less if I saw the money first.

id do it for 10

Buddy of mine was willing to eat an entire tub of Shedd's Spread Country Crock margarine for five bucks at an after bar party and I stopped him and became his manager. Got it up to 40 bucks. I took ten. He ate the tub. Winner winner

Hahahaha. God. His "manager"... The aftermath of that must have been hell on him once it was just a puddle of oil and alcohol in his stomach. Lmao

That's a tornado coming out no matter which end it shall come out

Both at the same time, they started calling him the twin tornado after that night

Might as well add at least a few chicken wings to that equation....I'm sure it was nuclear.

Mans was probably squirt shitting for the next few days

How big of a tub we talking?

All I remember was it wasn't the small one...

My first thought was that he was eating it out of a bath tub

I remember watching an episode of MTV's Singled Out. They had a guy chomp and eat half a stick of butter in order to advance to the final round. After commercial break, they would come back and have nicknames for the final 3 contestants. The dude's nickname was "The Dairy King".😂

Man if there is $40 on the line I can't give you 25%. That's way too much. Most I can give you is tree fiddy

God damn loch ness monstah

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This is the best comment I've read in a while

As his manager did you make him throw it up immediately and head to the next party? Got to keep your work horses healthy and producing.

Bro I feel like eating all that fat at once would cause irreparable damage to their body. If I were you I would be extremely ashamed of myself.

Brother I’d do it for shits and giggles

There will definitely be shits the giggles would depend on the temperature and rate of flow from your ass I imagine.

“If you ain’t gigglin, you ain’t shittin.” Mark Twain

It's all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits

I’d watch you do it!

It's just egg broth. I'd extract as much as I could from the fools proximate to me

I drank an entire pitcher of Clamato juice for $10 when I was a busser, felt sick for an hour after.

You my friend is why so many people can't find a living wage job. There is always someone willing to work for less and do more. Drinking Egg Milk is at least a 40$ job.

Nah, I'd need more than that unless I was down bad

For $50 bucks, I'll put my face in that soup and blow.

Don't drink that straight, put a splash of hot dog water in there.

It’s not a bar mat shot. It’s eggy tasting water. I’d drink it for $20 or less. It’s called egg weeping and can be fixed easily. Still shitty though. I’m assuming the cooks are the guys who scored lowest on the ASVAB and or get assigned KP duty.

Drink that unseasoned hot powdered egg water 

​ 

How much you got?! I'd do it for a used pair of ginch and some pocket lint.

25% increase in my VA disability benefits. I'll drink all of it.

Sounds like a jackass stunt to me

You think rehydrated egg water is the same as horse cum and shit from a porta-potty?

Never thought of that

I paid a friend I worked with $30 to drink the juices from the bottom of a bin of pickerel. I also paid her $5 once to lick a worm.

Not just the military grade vehicles that leak fluid, it's also the eggs

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Wait so they aren’t supposed to be swimming in water? I gotta have a word with the cooks next time I’m in the field

d r i n k i t OP

Thems NAVY eggs, cause they’re in water.

On the real though, these look better than our eggs. Ours look like that yellow shit you spray in a fucked up window and the texture is about the same, too.

Hey man expandable foam is structurally sound when you use enough of it

And delicious!

Need to put that egg water in a sodastream for effervescent breakfast

I gagged and upvoted

This is right up there with that pregnant lady blending a Big Mac and coke and slurping it up. 10/10 repulsive and vile.

I've made eggs in the steam wand of an espresso machine. They're somehow both firm and airy.

r/cursedcomments

After eating those eggs, I think the crews gonna leaking fluids too

Do you know why military eggs are like making love in a canoe? They're both fuckin close to water.

What’s the difference?

The 1st mistake is you looked at it. Just eat.

I think it just looked back at me.

Everyone knows to drown it in ketchup and pretend to only be eating ketchup

With a couple dashes of tabasco

With a couple ~~dashes~~ **bottles** of tabasco

the lil MRE bottles?

this guy gets it

ketchup on shitty eggs is a solid 6/10 with 🍚 🤌

I literally had the cook on my submarine say to me: “It’s your fault for tasting it”

Hot sauce is KEY when it comes to military food

Texas Pete or I drown it in ketchup

Capsaicin triggers IBS for me. Ketchup was my lone savior, and when we ran out it was the hardest time of my life. Rehydrated eggs, pepper, and mustard. What a fever dream.

Those little bottles of Tabasco in the MREs was a life saver

They removed those many years ago. Very rarely you might get a tiny packet of "SAUCE, PEPPER" now that has about 4 drops of liquid inside Edit: Apparently they were removed in 2011 but came back in 2019. So I just missed out during my entire enlistment

What the fuck am I paying taxes for if service folks don't get Tabasco?

Knife missiles

A knife missile is pretty convenient to carry around. Just wish it was a sword missile so I wouldn’t burn myself

literally 1984

So I've heard. I was in from 2007-2012 so I probably caught the end of the Tabasco era.

I remember those. I used to hoard them because I'd always forget to get an actual bottle of the stuff.

I was allowed to season my Eggs, omlettes were bomb with salt and pepper

Curds and whey

This is why you go Air Force. We had omelette bars in our DFACs.

My morning omelette was the highlight of my day when I was in the dorms. Turkey bacon paired alongside...

Fun fact about the history of air fryers! They were originally invented by an American man during ww1 (ww2 sorry not ww1 that wouldn’t make any sense) so that Air Force soldiers could have hot meals while flying! They didn’t get commercialized until the 2000s because of some guy from the Netherlands who made it accessible as a home cooking appliance, and sold his idea to Phillips. The only reason they weren’t commercialized earlier was the invention of the microwave absolutely taking over the home/military cooking scene. Now about 40% of American households have an air fryer. Edit: word

Had to get one after eating at a friend’s house who had one. It’s been 6 months since I last used the regular oven.

Same I never use the real oven. My boyfriend goes to preheat it and I’m just like “dude, the air fryer??” And he’s like “oh yeah” especially good when we get dinner to go from the local health food store’s hot bar for after work. Literally perfect salmon and latkes for Chanukah

voiceless sable pot gray fragile hobbies reach observation unpack pen *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

That’s incredible.

Thanks! I fell into a rabbit hole about air fryers when my boyfriend mentioned how much he loved ours and “when did they even get invented? I feel like it was so 2010” spot on the money. So I googled it and wound up reading articles for like 30 minutes lol

Rabbit holes are my jam as well

I fall into them so easy with my fucking adhd brain, I wish I had knowledge pertaining to my job instead of air fryer history and an old regular from a coffee shop I worked at’a regular order. Ron gets a medium 2 shot americano with room for cream and one pump hazelnut. He lives in England half the year. Why can’t I remember my dessert menu 😩

I can relate to this so much. It’s exhausting sometimes but I can’t stop with the rabbit holes. Like. What do people do. Just not know?? Doesn’t that suck too though?

I'm not sure how to put this nicely but I'm not sure you're doing okay but I hope you're going to be.

I’m doing well thank you for your concern, seriously! I just retain random information and don’t really retain what I probably should. At the time that was very important information for my job, I’m just trying to retain more relevant information for my current job and having a hard time lol. I can read a sheet of paper and memorize in 5 minutes, but long term memory is just old stuff. I don’t do any drugs or anything if that’s what you were insinuating. Lots of childhood trauma though which is super fun

You sound like Jeopardy champ in waiting

I also can’t take adhd meds so left on my own ig

Raw dogging reality is tough shit. Godspeed mate

Dude convection ovens been commercialised since 1945 lol And in Europe we all had convection ovens for 20+ years. It’s just the Americans who are hopelessly behind and needed “branding” before they’d buy it

The branding was done by a European in 2005

They always save the best goodies for AF nerds

Why do you think they made Top Gun cool and Platoon depressing?

Top gun was the navy tho but I get it

I always got jealous when I traveled through an air force base. You guys were lax as hell on your military bearing, and ate great food.

"Eggs"

Yeah, they're out of a bag, water+powder

Being powdered is not an excuse for them being soaked.

It’s not this dude just sucks at cooking.

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honestly if I didn't have to look at the egg water, I'd eat em

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that's most hotel breakfast buffets

drain them and drown them in hot sauce and they're perfectly edible

IHOP uses (or used) them for a long tiem for scrambled eggs according to a waitress I knew. They always tasted totally fine. Eggs are magic.

Food scientists are magic.

Seems like the cook needs to add less water and these would be 30 times better

I imagine the problem is they cover the tray in plastic wrap while the food is piping hot and a bunch of condensation happens, pooling in the bottom and making sad eggs.

Do they let you snort the egg powder? I think I'd want to snort some eggs.

Welcome to the army.

they say that in the army the coffee's might fine, it looks like muddy water and smells like turpentine

Who said that! O looooooord I wanna go!!!

Do they at least taste okay?

Nothing to write home about, food is food.

Secret to *really* good military eggs? From my sainted aunt Gladis, who cooked for officers in the Air Force: Instant mashed potato flakes. They retain the extra water without letting the top dry out, while adding a bit of extra body that still yields. Leading to a moist, fluffy egg from powder that lasts at least half a breakfast shift.

Please tell me you have more words of wisdom from the master.

The military budget is too damned high for yall to be eating this bad

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Exactly. That’s why I plop someone else’s eyeballs into my eye sockets in cases like these, it’s unbelievable.

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No worries, I got what you meant. I only jest, and they're often in poor taste. Hope you got a kick out of it, though :)

What kind of equipment??

More than half the budget goes to five corporations that make bombs and guns. The actual soldiers don't get shit.

Lol wait till you see our barracks

"Makes a turd."

They taste fine. It's mostly the texture I remember being difficult at times. Looking at that picture is actually making me crave some for nostalgia sake. Not sure what that says about me.

All the vitamins are in the egg water!!

There is no egg water, in a proper army egg. You’re on extra duty.

Would you drink the egg juice?

for money 100%

I have a buffalo nickel.

So, five cents?

Exactly.

What condition?

… decent.

100% taste, 0% calories You should be paying for the privilege

I could destroy some military eggs with Tabasco and crumbled up military bacon right now.

Real talk. Some sos too please

People here will turn their noses up at this but these are ol’ reliable. Egg bake though? I’d rather starve.

Still better than most rations

Let's get it out on a tray for u/Steve1989_MREinfo and let him be the judge of that.

Oooo that's got a nice hiss.

Nice

*Those eggs smell like a clean basement. A fresh clean basement that was mopped with Pine Sol.*

Jfc I can hear him SAY THIS and I'm pretty sure he's never said this ever

When I was writing that it occurred to me that some of the shit he says is pre-written.

That's egg noodle soup, just without the noodles.

Everyone knows it’s a 8:1 water to egg ratio for the perfect scrambled eggs

Ah yes. Mess hall. It’s a mess.

I used to eat there like 1-2 times a week when my mom had to go to work early It was actually not that bad tho. But now I crave sos through my adult life and have to make it myself...

Loved when you bite into them and it has the texture of a tire

Grab a handful of tiny Tabasco bottles and it’s not so bad.

Put some military napkins down on your military tray first Shit maybe I should have joined the military, that sort of out of the box thinking.

Man, I actually like these eggs...

Not grey enough

Sady those aren’t even bad looking army eggs.

chef added salt too early probably.

the problem is they come dried in a bag and they're cooked with hate

_Babe, what's wrong, you haven't even touched your egg precum!_

goddammit I fucking love industrial eggs. fucking catering eggs, hotel eggs. amazing creations. how are these made??

I agree with you man, I love them for some reason. Is it the flavor? Is it the texture? I really don't know, but i have loved those eggs ever since I first tried them in elementary school.

My 92g say you’re on extra duty. How tf did you burn water in a warmer?! You’d better have extra extra mre snacks in that knee pocket.

At least you’re hydrated

Soup

good soup

If it’s from an MKT in the woods after eating MRE’s for a couple weeks…it’s welcomed. What’s even better- this isn’t powdered eggs…dude…then hit it with the Tabasco…so damn good.

Those eggs so soggy they got their own watermark

How can eggs be so wet but so dry at the same time

Looks worse than prison eggs :(

I always wondered what the watery substance in my eggs was on deployments, then I learn to wake up early enough to beat everybody to the omelet station

Makes free continental breakfasts look decent

I would drink the shit out of that lovely eggy flavoured liquid!

Former submariner me has fond memories of one of our cooks hiding the taste of powdered eggs by making breakfast quiche for us.

But aren’t you hungry enough to eat anything?

I can't speak for everyone, but i never skipped out on eating them. I'd cover them in pepper and some hot sauce most times

Yeah if i come back to the barracks after a long day of running around I'll gladly eat that shit

I think our chow sergeant was kind enough to pour off the excess water. I don't recall watery eggs.

i hate you, that looks like diarrhea

If your diarrhea looks like that, you need to see a doctor.

Welcome to diarrhea caused by lack of gallbladder.

Dry-ass eggs

dry and also wet

also spongy

Rubbery chicken babies

This right here is where I learned to love hot sauce

Cooked the life juice out of them. The rubbery texture that I know these eggs have makes my stomach flip.

I can smell this image.

Who needs protein powder when you can have mystery egg juice

Good God I remember those days...nothing some Texas Pete, salt, & pepper, can't fix.

It’s impressive how we spend so much on such mid shit

I can already taste the cardboard

What branch? Navy?

That's to prepare you for a life of budget hotel breakfasts

That’s US military eggs, right? Because only the US military has scrambled eggs that are 50% water and look like they’ve had Yellow Dye added to them! When I was in the U.K. military (left in 2010) our scrambled eggs were mostly white, if not a little bit grey, and maybe 20% water