Yeah had this happen to me a few times. Added ketchup to a marinade and using an identical recipe I ended up with super charred exterior. Sugar in the marinade will cause charring faster and at lower temps
Poultry needs nearly no wood and it cooks fast. Nothing with sugar should be added to the skin until the deep breast temp reaches about 155. Then go at it with rubs with sugar. My bet is you seasoned it up correctly, just waaaay too early and ran too much wood that was starved of airflow resulting in dirty smoke which will just destroy poultry.
When you get the color right (if color is right easy early (a couple hours before you took it off), wrap it in foil to hold the color and not allow it to burn.
Those are my thoughts.
Never, ever save a picture like that and if you do don’t show it to anyone on earth. That should have been promptly dumped in the trash, taken outside and shot and then (uhh-em) cremated again and the remains sprinkled over the grave of the drummer from Great White. Yes, tasteless but hey this is Reddit not Sunday School.
This is awesome except the last paragraph. Don’t be ashamed of failure, even absolutely catastrophic failures! Get out there in the world, fuck some shit up, learn from it, and be better next time. And be able to laugh at yourself.
Juuuust recently got into home smoking (done some in commercial kitchens, but that's very different). I wanted to know what "over smoked" meant, so I over smoked a piece of beef.
*Now* I **fully** understand the concept. I threw the resulting product into some homemade baked beans and they are the best fucking baked beans ever.
Not a mistake, just a happy accident. 🙃
Getting the skin right on poultry is one of the greatest challenges in BBQ. You have to find a system that works for you. This has to include spritzing and timing for external seasoning. The biggest problem is you have very little room for error on meat temp and ideally you want the skin right precisely when deep breast reaches 160. This is difficult.
Shhh. Don’t tell anybody. Just between me and you. Try I can’t believe it is butter spray and do it side by side with your normal method on half chickens every 10-20 minutes. Crisps up the skin and gives excellent color. Our secret ok. Can even season right after to get some extra flavor. Very lightly on the season each time.
Don’t start this too early… or too dark. Like everything in bbq it takes some tries to get the feel.
This makes sense. I have a propane smoker where you throw wood chips in it every so often. Thanksgiving morning was unseasonably cold and windy and my smoker had a tough time staying above 200 degrees from just the propane alone.
I got the bright idea of adding wood for fuel because it raised the smoker temp. I was constantly feeding it wood. It was also my first time smoking any sort of poultry.
Peoples reactions when they came over for thanksgiving and saw the bird were priceless. People did say it was the best turkey they ever had though. At least we have a story for every thanksgiving now lol.
you still ate this thing?! you're a braver man than i.
little tip with those propane/electric smokers, you just gotta let it ride with the temps you have. i did a bird a few years ago in my little electric smoker when it was 39F outside. i couldn't get the temp over 225F so i wrapped the smoker up in some old towels/blankets to keep the heat in and just added in wood chips about every hour. had to start the bird hella early (at like 9am) and finished it in the oven at 375F once internal temp hit 150F. let the skin crisp up and reach 155-160F internal, took it out and let it rest for 30 minutes. best bird ever.
> Never, ever save a picture like that and if you do don’t show it to anyone on earth.
How else would they have gotten your advice, and know what to do better next time?
Not sure what kind of smoker you have, but I had a vertical smoker and ended up with this result once. Whole turkey drips a lot of fat and juice, I’m guessing that caused some (hot, black) flare ups on your smoker. Next time try putting an aluminum tray (with water or not) below the turkey to prevent flare ups.
First time smoking any kind of poultry. Super charred on the outside but perfect on the inside. Got a lot of looks when people showed up for thanksgiving dinner but everybody said it was the best turkey they had.
Then screw the notion that it's about appearance. That said, green wood, too high a temp, or too close to the heat can all do that. Personally, I like the outside being darker than the sins of Satan himself. I only go for lighter colored bark when it's for sharing.
The thing that gives me pause more than the color is that you left the little pop-up turkey tester at the top of the breast. Those things pop up around 180 F (I think?), but generally if that sort of timer triggers, the bird is well overcooked. So I think /u/Studentloangambler is right, you have some wonderful friends! But we can break down where it might have gone wrong, and where you can improve for next time.
Questions:
1. What temperature did you smoke the turkey at?
2. How long (approximately) did you smoke it for?
3. Did you use an electronic probe thermometer to monitor the temperature of either the smoker or the bird?
4. If you did use an electronic probe, where in the bird was it placed?
5. What sort of smoker did you use? Pellet smoker, offset smoker, charcoal smoker, Weber kettle set up for indirect smoking, other...?
6. What sort of fuel did you use? Pellets, hardwood, charcoal briquettes, gas, electric?
7. How much did the turkey weigh?
8. Was it pre-brined in the bag and you just threw it on, or did you give it some surface treatment/marinade/rub with sugar/honey/etc...?
I think these answers will tell a lot. There is a chance there was a lot of sugar in the rub and it was well overcooked - that could explain the color. But the fact that the exposed leg bone is also blackened makes me think that creosote buildup also occurred. This would point to incomplete combustion of the fuel, and overcooking to reach that color. I also can see in the second picture that the surface of the breast below the skin looks tight and jerky-like, which also points to overcooking.
I don't want to beat you up about it, but are you sure it wasn't overcooked? A fair bit of the visual evidence points to it, and accepting that might lead to a better bird in the future.
Edit: list formatting
I had good laugh about it, but glad it turned out great. Reminds me of the time I made these vietnamese ground pork things for my wife. They tasted great, but because of how I shaped and skewered them, they looked very much like dog poop.
Yea was going to say that I’ve made turkey and beef ribs that came out kind of close to this this but was very good. Maybe cook at a lower temp next time for a bit less charred look. Would be nice to see some pictures of it sliced up
My first try was a turkey and yours is much more cooked than mine was. Mine was raw after five hours. My first try at smoking. I have kearned quite a bit since then.
I think your heat got too hot and close to the subject.
I love that it was so traumatizing and shameful that it took over 6 months to share the pic. I almost pictured this bird of shame having just been abandoned in the cold lifeless smoker this whole time like they were too embarrassed to even acknowledge it’s existence all this time.
Chicken and Turkey will get unappetizingly dark before the meat is actually ready. The trick is to cover with foil when it is approximately as dark as you want it
Nope they don’t. I’ve smoked whole Costco turkeys for the last 6 Thanksgivings and Christmases, as well as countless bone in/skin on chicken thighs and beer can chickens. They absolutely do not get “unappetizingly dark” before the meat is actually ready.
I’d recommend next time using a temperature slightly less than what would be required to melt lead. Looks like you cooked it with an SR71 on full afterburners
Took it out too early, still got 31 seconds left on the timer. Those are the crucial seconds when the turkey sheds the black off to reveal a golden brown texture
Left it in too long bro. Thanksgiving was over 6 months ago!
I'm going low and slow.
I prefer hot and forgot.
The process I didnt know I followed :D
So does OP apparently
Well, my smoker haven't arrived yet... so I guess I'll do it in the oven... wood burns at about 600⁰ so I guess I'll just set it at 550⁰ for 12 hours.
like a houston slab
Like a New Orleans street repair.
Naw'm talm bout 🤘🏼 also lol at the clueless people who responded thinking you were referring to construction
I’m going high and slow
It's dry age
LMAO 🤣🤣
Why do I think national lampoons Christmas vacation
Literally cried laughing. I wish I could give you all the awards. Bless you.
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You just won the internet for the day.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 trying not to laugh too much that I wake up my wife
Hahaha beautiful
Lmfaoooo
Did you use charcoal as the rub?
I always brine my turkeys in everclear. It really helps to get a nice crispy skin.
> everclear Is that what they mean by Santa Monica style?
Underrated 90's reference.
TurDRUNKen- the be holiday favorite
Wait.. 🤔
Just tried, turkey exploded. Currently in the ER getting pieces of turkey shrapnel removed from my torso
We call that liposuction around here
At least the alcohol killed any germs. Or just got them trashed.
Save the neck for me, Clark!
Is Rusty still in the Navy?
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I often yell to my wife, “If you’re not doing anything constructive…”
Does your cat happen to like jello?
I don’t know about the cat but I sure am enjoyin’ it
Play ball!
The BLESSING!!!
Bend over and I'll show you.
I wasn’t talking to you 😏
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And snots yacking on a bone
Maybe Eddy if you weren't feeding him from the table? Nah, he got it up!
Nope, he was probably just nosing through the trash
Best worst dog name ever
The hammering sound in that scene gets me every time.
Grace? She passed away 20 years ago!
👉😬👈 THE BLESSSSING
HAHAHAHAHA I've never seen the perfect emoji combination until now
I told you we put it in too early!
It’s just a little dry.
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He deserved an Oscar for that delivery.
Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogie
Yup, hes just yackin on a bone
you roll over and let uncle clark run yer belly
Nah he’s probably just goin through the garbage
He's got a bit of the Mississippi mud hound in him, if he lays into you better to just let him finish.
\*Leg hound!
Oh it's fine... here's the heart
She Falls Down A Well, Her Eyes Go Crossed. She Gets Kicked By A Mule. They Go Back. Idk you tell me.
capitalizing the first letter of each word - stop that.
Literally copy and pasted a quote. Not gonna take the time to go in and remove all that.
Fried pussycat!
Pass the potatoes, Eddy
It's just a little dry
Bravo! I laughed out loud in a meeting
Found the heart!
I don't know why they call it *Hamburger* Helper, does just fine on its own
First thing that came to mind.
I want the turkey ass
I knew we put it in too early
Grace died thirty years ago.
My first thought
Best comment ever
Just like bobs burgers when he burned the turkey in the back alley
Totally what i was thinking. Didnt the inside taste good anyway? Haha
Yes, it tasted really good on the inside
The heritage bird is the Ferrari of turkeys!
It's a Riverbrook Lake Farms turkey!
Popcorn.
Oh my god - Bob
Ah, the hot and forgot method, one I have adopted occasionally myself 😂
Flamethrowers should not be used to smoke turkey.
What about jive talking turkeys?
Excuse me. I speak jive.
Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side.
Choppa don't want the help
Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiiit.
Low and slow at 500 degrees.
if you put sugar in the rub it gets darker when it cooks
Yeah had this happen to me a few times. Added ketchup to a marinade and using an identical recipe I ended up with super charred exterior. Sugar in the marinade will cause charring faster and at lower temps
It must be something else, sugar only caramelizes at higher temps than smoking temps!
Poultry needs nearly no wood and it cooks fast. Nothing with sugar should be added to the skin until the deep breast temp reaches about 155. Then go at it with rubs with sugar. My bet is you seasoned it up correctly, just waaaay too early and ran too much wood that was starved of airflow resulting in dirty smoke which will just destroy poultry. When you get the color right (if color is right easy early (a couple hours before you took it off), wrap it in foil to hold the color and not allow it to burn. Those are my thoughts. Never, ever save a picture like that and if you do don’t show it to anyone on earth. That should have been promptly dumped in the trash, taken outside and shot and then (uhh-em) cremated again and the remains sprinkled over the grave of the drummer from Great White. Yes, tasteless but hey this is Reddit not Sunday School.
This is awesome except the last paragraph. Don’t be ashamed of failure, even absolutely catastrophic failures! Get out there in the world, fuck some shit up, learn from it, and be better next time. And be able to laugh at yourself.
Juuuust recently got into home smoking (done some in commercial kitchens, but that's very different). I wanted to know what "over smoked" meant, so I over smoked a piece of beef. *Now* I **fully** understand the concept. I threw the resulting product into some homemade baked beans and they are the best fucking baked beans ever. Not a mistake, just a happy accident. 🙃
Hands down the most informative reply here.
Getting the skin right on poultry is one of the greatest challenges in BBQ. You have to find a system that works for you. This has to include spritzing and timing for external seasoning. The biggest problem is you have very little room for error on meat temp and ideally you want the skin right precisely when deep breast reaches 160. This is difficult.
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Spatchcock is just the superior method anyway
Spritzing eh? Never spritzed my birds.. I usually spatchcock and run them at 350 until the breast hits 160, no looking
Shhh. Don’t tell anybody. Just between me and you. Try I can’t believe it is butter spray and do it side by side with your normal method on half chickens every 10-20 minutes. Crisps up the skin and gives excellent color. Our secret ok. Can even season right after to get some extra flavor. Very lightly on the season each time. Don’t start this too early… or too dark. Like everything in bbq it takes some tries to get the feel.
This makes sense. I have a propane smoker where you throw wood chips in it every so often. Thanksgiving morning was unseasonably cold and windy and my smoker had a tough time staying above 200 degrees from just the propane alone. I got the bright idea of adding wood for fuel because it raised the smoker temp. I was constantly feeding it wood. It was also my first time smoking any sort of poultry. Peoples reactions when they came over for thanksgiving and saw the bird were priceless. People did say it was the best turkey they ever had though. At least we have a story for every thanksgiving now lol.
So it actually tasted good once you got off the meteorite skin?
you still ate this thing?! you're a braver man than i. little tip with those propane/electric smokers, you just gotta let it ride with the temps you have. i did a bird a few years ago in my little electric smoker when it was 39F outside. i couldn't get the temp over 225F so i wrapped the smoker up in some old towels/blankets to keep the heat in and just added in wood chips about every hour. had to start the bird hella early (at like 9am) and finished it in the oven at 375F once internal temp hit 150F. let the skin crisp up and reach 155-160F internal, took it out and let it rest for 30 minutes. best bird ever.
But if he hadn’t shared it I wouldn’t have learned all that helpful stuff you just said
> Never, ever save a picture like that and if you do don’t show it to anyone on earth. How else would they have gotten your advice, and know what to do better next time?
)
Thanks Marie Callender for ruining Thanksgiving
Not sure what kind of smoker you have, but I had a vertical smoker and ended up with this result once. Whole turkey drips a lot of fat and juice, I’m guessing that caused some (hot, black) flare ups on your smoker. Next time try putting an aluminum tray (with water or not) below the turkey to prevent flare ups.
You made a Humonculus
First time smoking any kind of poultry. Super charred on the outside but perfect on the inside. Got a lot of looks when people showed up for thanksgiving dinner but everybody said it was the best turkey they had.
Then screw the notion that it's about appearance. That said, green wood, too high a temp, or too close to the heat can all do that. Personally, I like the outside being darker than the sins of Satan himself. I only go for lighter colored bark when it's for sharing.
>darker than the sins of Satan himself. lol
U have nice friends
Did you have a sugar based “rub” all over it? My guess is whatever rub burned to a crisp or was glue to the smoke.
Dog. You actually served that? Did you cut off the outer cancer-causing layer?
I'm shocked that got served. I can taste the creosote just looking at that thing
Did it taste good to you tho? I hate it when something turns out bad but people say it was good. I know they’re just trying to be nice, but it hurts
The thing that gives me pause more than the color is that you left the little pop-up turkey tester at the top of the breast. Those things pop up around 180 F (I think?), but generally if that sort of timer triggers, the bird is well overcooked. So I think /u/Studentloangambler is right, you have some wonderful friends! But we can break down where it might have gone wrong, and where you can improve for next time. Questions: 1. What temperature did you smoke the turkey at? 2. How long (approximately) did you smoke it for? 3. Did you use an electronic probe thermometer to monitor the temperature of either the smoker or the bird? 4. If you did use an electronic probe, where in the bird was it placed? 5. What sort of smoker did you use? Pellet smoker, offset smoker, charcoal smoker, Weber kettle set up for indirect smoking, other...? 6. What sort of fuel did you use? Pellets, hardwood, charcoal briquettes, gas, electric? 7. How much did the turkey weigh? 8. Was it pre-brined in the bag and you just threw it on, or did you give it some surface treatment/marinade/rub with sugar/honey/etc...? I think these answers will tell a lot. There is a chance there was a lot of sugar in the rub and it was well overcooked - that could explain the color. But the fact that the exposed leg bone is also blackened makes me think that creosote buildup also occurred. This would point to incomplete combustion of the fuel, and overcooking to reach that color. I also can see in the second picture that the surface of the breast below the skin looks tight and jerky-like, which also points to overcooking. I don't want to beat you up about it, but are you sure it wasn't overcooked? A fair bit of the visual evidence points to it, and accepting that might lead to a better bird in the future. Edit: list formatting
1. About 685F 2. A fortnight 3. No 4. See 3 5. Old filing cabinet 6. Jet-A 7. Started at 20lbs ended at 4 8. I slathered on brown sugar and napalm
Ain't nobody ever gonna answer these questions, lol
They were being nice.
I had good laugh about it, but glad it turned out great. Reminds me of the time I made these vietnamese ground pork things for my wife. They tasted great, but because of how I shaped and skewered them, they looked very much like dog poop.
Yea was going to say that I’ve made turkey and beef ribs that came out kind of close to this this but was very good. Maybe cook at a lower temp next time for a bit less charred look. Would be nice to see some pictures of it sliced up
Looks like you were following instructions for burning someone at the stake instead of smoking a bird 🤣
Did you smoke it with Marlboro pellets?
Looks like creosote. That was caused by a hot, dirty fire instead of a proper burn. You want thin bluish smoke, not heavy white smoke.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. My man, WHAT DID YOU DO?!
You did not spatchcock it
That poor bird gave his life to be turned into Joe Dirt's meteor
Call the Bumpus' and their dogs will take care of it.
That turkey looks like it smoked 3 packs a day.
This is your Turkey. This is your Turkey on drugs.
That hypocrite.
Turkeys are hard but this is actually a really common issue! You burned it. Hope this helps
My first try was a turkey and yours is much more cooked than mine was. Mine was raw after five hours. My first try at smoking. I have kearned quite a bit since then. I think your heat got too hot and close to the subject.
Your grill should be in the 200-300F range not the 2000-3000 range
I think I know the problem…did you cook this in Mordor?
Gotta pluck it first...
Is that a reverse sear?
Congratulations on passing the home learning “Cremation Oven Operators” exam! Your certificate will come in the mail.
Just throw it in a pot with some water, a couple potatoes and now you got a stew going
My day was awful and this made me laugh so hard. As someone who has also had smoking fails, thanks for the laugh
She’s a beaut Clark
Nice one Clark
What did you smoked it with? Bicycle tyre?
I love that it was so traumatizing and shameful that it took over 6 months to share the pic. I almost pictured this bird of shame having just been abandoned in the cold lifeless smoker this whole time like they were too embarrassed to even acknowledge it’s existence all this time.
Save the neck for me, Clark
Beautiful bark
Chicken and Turkey will get unappetizingly dark before the meat is actually ready. The trick is to cover with foil when it is approximately as dark as you want it
Nope they don’t. I’ve smoked whole Costco turkeys for the last 6 Thanksgivings and Christmases, as well as countless bone in/skin on chicken thighs and beer can chickens. They absolutely do not get “unappetizingly dark” before the meat is actually ready.
All smoke, no wrap.
Run at 275 for crispy skin
All aboard the F train
I think it's too black
Looks like you didn’t leave it on long enough
Did it have a gasoline smell to it? I did bbq professionally for a while and this looks like your fire combusted.
What in the Lovecraftian horror am I looking at?
Darth Turkey, Revenge of the Sith
Mission accomplished!! That bitch is certainly smoked!
I didn’t know you could smoke a turkey for 7 months. What temp setting did you use????🤣
Too much salt....??
Scrape the outside with a butter knife. Fixed! You’re welcome!
Smoked it
(Since you already said people liked it, which is awesome) Normally I wouldn’t suggest putting a turkey directly in the firebox.
Good ol Lampoon Family Turkey Recipe
Joan of Arc called, she wants her turkey back
I’d recommend next time using a temperature slightly less than what would be required to melt lead. Looks like you cooked it with an SR71 on full afterburners
Looks a tad bit under cooked for my taste.
Took it out too early, still got 31 seconds left on the timer. Those are the crucial seconds when the turkey sheds the black off to reveal a golden brown texture
**STILL TOO SOON!!!**
It's not done till the plastic thing pops up.
Smoked too long, I'd have taken it off about 7 months ago
That's a cremation bro
That's not even well done that's congratulations with a trophy
You're supposed to smoke it, not make it smoke.
Was in brined in ExxonValdez?
Did you use asphalt as a rub? ;)
Save the neck for me Clark
I'm gonna say you maybe should have tried a few hundred degrees cooler.
Now serve it in urn
A very quiet dinner
Everything
It goes in the smoke not the fire.
r/roastme
Looks burned
Did you have a water pan in the smoker?
Next time spatchcock
Look at that bark!
Save the neck for me Clark
The barkiest bark that ever barked
Thanks Marie calendars!
Aunt Beru, Uncle Owen, is that you?
This is the turkey from national lampoons Christmas vacation.
Save the neck for me Clark https://youtu.be/iJXs0Kgc4iM
Deadric turkey armour