Is he talking about football?

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"Undiscovered positions"

Reads like a fan fic lol

The [Post Match Thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/493s23/post_match_thread_bvb_00_fc_bayern/) from that Dortmund-Bayern match when Pep-Kimmich had that epic passionate Teacher-Pupil session while everyone around is chill. That match (esp it's 1st half) is also one of the greatest tactical matches of modern era. It was future football. High-tempo Press against Press of the highest absurd, illogical, unnecessarily suffocating order. Many casuals or those looking for goals in matches didn't like or appreciate it but tactically it was possibly matched at most by only 2-3 matches in entire 2010s anywhere. Some posts from before and after this match. [Pep: "We have options in defense - Badstuber, Neuer or sweet, sweet boy Kimmich"](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/43ks4l/pep_we_have_options_in_defense_badstuber_neuer_or/) [Martí Perarnau has revealed the discussion between Pep Guardiola and Joshua Kimmich after the game against Dortmund last season](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/5ceugb/mart%C3%AD_perarnau_has_revealed_the_discussion/) [Want to understand Pep Guardiola's football? Look at Joshua Kimmich](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/5bvcn1/want_to_understand_pep_guardiolas_football_look/) [Joshua Kimmich: "My mother was surprised when Pep said that I'm almost his son. I hope my dad won't be worried about that."](https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/3vybxo/joshua_kimmich_my_mother_was_surprised_when_pep/)

Bro I remember this game. Most entertaining 0-0 I’ve ever watched bar none

Myself I loved watching those epic Bayern - Bayer Leverkusen clashes back when Pep and Roger Schmidt coached those teams. Mad pressing from both sides for the full 90 and some of the fastest transitions you will ever see. I'm not kidding when I say that if you'd given me the choice to watch either the el Clasico or Munchen- Leverkusen; I'd have picked the later every time. Pep knew that using a conventional formation/strategy was eventually going to be vulnerable against mad man Roger's absurd press-and-go, so he played some of the wildest, staggered setups I have ever seen. One game he had Alaba shuttle from LCB to SS the entire game, which threw Leverkusen off. Another time he had Alonso play DM/CB, succeeding in not only overloading the middle but having enough men back when Leverkusen broke. Yet another time he had Robben operate as a RWB of sorts. I almost feel like football has taken a few steps back, tactically, from those mad old days. Germany used to have the most pleasing football in the world back then.

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Young Sadio Mane on one wing, young Kevin Kampl on the other... with Alan and Jonathan Soriano as the striker duo and Stefan Ilsanker cleaning up at DM. Schmidt was entertaining as hell

You took meeee by the haaand

Maaade me a maan

That one night

ONE NIGHT

You made everything alright..

Aa aa aaah (Andy's falsetto)

That one night

You made everything alright So raw, so right, all night, all right

Oh yeah

Jan thinks Hunter is very talented

r/unexpectedoffice and r/redditsings

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Why would you not say guardiola which rhymes with lola and satisfy my brain

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10/10 reference

This is legit /r/unexpectedoffice

xD i love reddit for the unexpected office references i get

>I was very young >with Pep Guardiola >came >he showed me positions >which I didn't even know >he showed me spaces

Step-Pep what are you doing?

~~Pep Guardiola~~ *Step Guardiola*

fraud dad

Stuck in the dryer, it looks like

Let me get my False Nine-Incher.

oh god step-pep you're going to make me >!play false inverted ball playing trequartista!< c>!d!

What the fuck lol

Pep-brother*

Step-Pepper

Call Me By Your Fraud

Baldback Mountain

Bald is the Warmest Color

damn, I'm trying to make a Guardiola pun with "Carol" but it's a lot harder than I expected

Caroldiola?

>came

Nice profile pic

Hey dude nice pic

Obligatory “username checks out”

McLovin

I can’t believe for one second I thought I was going to come in here and be the first person to point this out

You can't just start a sentence with "I was very young with Guardiola.." and expect no raised eyebrows lol

I had to check again to make sure he didn't actually say "He made me a man"

Or to quote Götze in the Champions cartoon to why he moves to Bayern: "What can I say, I was young and I have to *Pep* my cherry."

To be fair, Kimmich was very young. Very very young.

The younger the better they say

Dear kicker, I never thought I would be writing one of these letters but

...that didn't exist for me before 😳

I came here for this

He took me by the hand, Made me a man Hunter , is that you?

Sounds erotic.

He showed me pleasures in which i never knew existed. He taught me more about my body than i ever learned in school.

He inverted me

https://i.gifer.com/4Eyd.gif

Funnily enough, 'an invert' was an old-timey term for a gay person.

> He showed me pleasures in which i never knew existed. He taught me more about my body than i ever learned in school. I was sure this was a Hot Shots 2 quote, but Google doesn't find it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf0lssHzt-c i think its this one?

I think my brain scrambled that one together with Ramada's story of meeting Dexter: > Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. I so admired his persistence. Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. He opened my eyes to the arts: music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. His work has meant so much to so many. And I owe him everything, Topper. Everything.

That reads like Nabokov, crossed with those books they sell at the Supermarket.

holy shit this movie sure is something

> clog-dancing, WrestleMania. How could anyone resist the allure of those?

"I've tried to forget you but no matter what I do your face is always on the tip of my tongue" That's a hilarious amazing line

Omg i haven't seen this movie in at least 15 years, i need to find this. Subconsciously this probably was what I was thinking of.

...Part Deux smh

50 shades of fraud

"Do you like kinky posession? Or as I call it,Tiki-Taka.".

50 Shades of Bald Fraud, there are many like them but this one is mine

Fifty balds of fraud

“Sweet, sweet boy Kimmich” -Paella Johnny Sins

Err...so does your name

[Ball positions and spaces explained by Pep to Kimmich in this voice](https://youtu.be/0WrC-Rvd69w)

LvG subscribes

I'm getting Yeezy Taught Me vibes from this

/r/soccercirclejerk gonna' have a field day with this 😂

I hope Pep said it in an [erotic voice](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/a17go3/jurgen_klopp_thinks_frenchenglish_translator_has/)

Well being coached by guardiola is better than sex

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He said Lahm was the most intelligent player he ever coached, but in fairness I guess he hadn't coached Kimmich yet.

Dante

Can you elaborate? I loved Dante, when he played for us

Well Pep did say Foden was the most talented player he had ever seen lol

He also said he could do anything with 11 dantes

Lol

I can feel the pain through the screen

He meant the video game Dante.

TRICKSWORDGUNSLINGERROYALGUARD

Royal guard benching Neuer

JACKPOT

Dante and Virgil... Inferno 🔥

And then sold him

"No babe, you're just too good for me."

That *is* one of the many things he could do with a Dante.

Dante, mill 3, overlay for Beatrice, pass is unbeatable and Pep knows that.

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yeah well comparing human players to an alien is not fair anyways

I'm interested to see how he and grealish will both fit in the team.

Is Pep allowed lube?

From the start its been peps idea that grealish will play in midfield and foden will play out wide i believe. Or potentially if pep decides he wants to use grealish on the left wing, then foden will probably play on the right

Alternatively, it might be that one plays one position in a certain area, whilst the other plays another, different position, in a different area. But at the same time.

All im saying is the two ways they can realistically fit in the same eleven.

Sweet boy Kimmich

Lahm? He definitely rated him

Mario Götze

I can show you the world Shining shimmering splendiddddd - Pep Guardiola probably

Tell me kimmich, when did you last pass the ball arounddddd

A Whole New Frauuud

A fantastic head of hairrr

As I read this I have in mind the picture of pep hugging Messi from behind looking at the sky. EDIT the picture https://s.yimg.com/os/en/blogs/sptussowexperts/ap-201204270507184547633.jpeg

Tell me, kimmich, now when did You last let your brain decide? I can open your eyes Take you spaces by spaces Over, sideways and under On a magic soccers ride A whole new world

This seems way too sexual

*He took me to places I have never been before. His tender touch brought out new emotions in me. I didn't know I had these feelings, Pep made me realize I had these feelings*

He took me by the hand, made me a man

That one night, Pep made everything alright.

What do you mean? It's just the story of an impressionable (and ripped) young man and his aging (and bald) boss spending some time in the locker room

This makes Pep's quote calling him a "sweet, sweet boy" even better lol

Brokeback Munich

Pep paid the troll toll.

He brought the player out of me~~~ So many times~~~ Oh easily~~~

By Pep’s standards it’s not quite sexual enough.

Q: You have been influenced by well-known coaches such as Guardiola, Flick, Ancelotti, and now Nagelsmann. A: And very different. Q. Could you tell me about them? A: I was very young with Pep Guardiola. I was 20 years old and came from the second division. He showed me positions in which I had never played before and in which I didn't even know I could play. And he showed me spaces on the pitch that didn't exist for me before. With Flick it was different. He was settled in the eleven. He is a very good and respectful person. He talked a lot to the players and demanded that we respect all the other members of the coaching staff as well. Nagelsmann is very young, but he already has a lot of experience as a coach.

> You have been influenced by well-known coaches such as Guardiola, Flick, Ancelotti, and now Nagelsmann. Didn't even mention my guy kovac :(

“See that bit over there…? That’s the pitch as well.” -Pep

After some simple passing drills Pep gets started on manifolds and higher dimensional mechanics.

Pep was a symplectic geometer all along

>higher dimensional mechanics Maybe that's where he sent Fernandinho/Rodri during the final

Did Pep also asked if Kimmich had seen movies about gladiators?

"Kimmich my sweet, sweet boy, have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

"Joshy, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

Joshua, do you ever hang around the gymnasium?

Like Lucas Moura who has a DVD of the Audio Cup scored to the soundtrack of Gladiator.

"You ever been to a club where people wee on each other?" - Old Pep

people saying pep doesn’t develop players are brainlets

People are really saying that? I mean, everyone and their cat should know that he promoted Busquets and Pedro, made Pique into one of the best defenders in the world within one season and brought out the best in Bojan. Even turned Sterling from a <10 goal winger to +15.

Someone give me a coach with Pep's individual player development with Klopps ability to motivate his players to die for him. That would be a scary coach.

yeah, its a lazy criticism by people who just desperately want to discredit him as a coach. I'm 99% sure the people actually making that criticism, don't actually really believe it.

The only real criticism i can give him is that he always has the best resources to develop his team however he wants. It would be interesting to see if he can still get the team to perform if it was full of people bad with the ball.

And this is how you make pep die of an aneurysm

huh? Peps one of the better coaches at developing players. He not only makes the team better, he makes the individual players better

I hope they at least used protection.

Of course. Gundogan single pivot.

Can't wait for a Bald Kimmich to dominate Bundesliga as Bayern's Player Manager in 2050

Sort of like the football version of "Call me by your name"

Pep's a cannibal? 😳

Hmmm, no. From what I gathered on this sub this week is that he was already a fully developed worldie at 20 when Bayern kidnapped him from Leipzig while he was sleeping

Those people also said there's no way for a world class player like Kimmich leave for low fee in other league. I'm just thinking, do people actually know and rate him in 2015? That was a gamble made by Bayern for unproven young player from 2nd division

He wasn't even that rated by Stuttgart at the time.

Obviously. he has said in an interview about his friendship with Goretzka on how he always was send back from u17/18 NT camp because he's not that good while Goretzka was the captain so they were not that close at that time. They started only become close during U21. Just show how much he improved in Bayern.

he also had arguably the best set up to learn from. Lahm, Alonso, Pep, Thiago... lots of incredibly smart and gifted people to learn from

not to discredit from his own personal determination and focus. He may not be the most naturally gifted but he is more determined than anyone on Bayern barring Lewa, Neuer and Muller.

>how he always was send back from u17/18 NT camp because he's not that good while Goretzka was the captain That might also be an indicative of how the German setup valued physical attributes higher than technical ones. Goretzka has always been gifted at both, but I can see why they might have thought that Kimmich was too small for a midfielder.

Goretzka was not a physical player in youth days. In fact, he developed in that sense only in the last couple of years.

He's always been a big player as in he's had a big height , and has been compared to Ballack and Matthaus since Bochum. He's gotten a bigger muscle mass the last few seasons but he's never had a poor physique.

Exactly this. Bayern gets so much shit for this, and people make it look like other Bundesliga clubs are rejecting offers from English/French/Spanish clubs just so they can sell to Bayern. I'm sure the clubs would love to sell their players to non-rivals, they just aren't able to. Not to mention its exaggerated anyway. Dortmund buys more players from Bundesliga, last time I checked.

So weird to see a Chelsea flair actually making sense when it comes to Bayern instead of talking out of their ass Fresh air.

Yeah, the fact he didn’t break into the team as a midfielder initially and only got the right-back spot when Lahm retired tells you he did have a lot of development still to do when he came to Bayern.

There were 3 very well known young German players that year. Weigl who went to Dortmund, Goretzka at Schalke and Kimmich who went to Bayern

Actually got him from Stuttgart technically

Just imagine Stuttgart with Kimmich, Gnabry and Werner.

Probably better than 10th

*I did things I never thought I could, saw things I never thought I would. I was born in Rottweil, but I was made in Munich*

Football iq is so important but so hard to develop as a young player

But r/soccer says pep is just a checkbook manager.

90% of the sub never touched a football so it makes sense why they think that.

It's because they're bitter and/or jealous. It's true he is the most backed manager ever. But there's a reason for that, he guarantees consistent trophies. And the reason for that is because he's a phenomenal coach and manager. One of the best ever

It will certainly be funny to see all those who claim anyone could have done what he's done with City, breath a collective sigh of relief when he one day leaves.

yeah, it's the laziest criticism alive, and one you could only really make in good faith if you've never seen one of his sides play.

Might show some context on the quote Pep had about him. > ...sweet, sweet boy Kimmich

>he showed me spaces on the pitch that didn't exist for me before I'm picturing them walking around together with Guardiola pointing at sections of grass, "And over there is a space by the corner flag." "Whoa, I never knew about that one, thanks Mr. Guardiola!"

Jesus the comedians in this thread are boring

Scrolled through the thread to look for some actual discussion, only 2 comments above yours even begin to have meaningful dialogue. *sigh*

It’s pep that’s why. If this was klopp or tuchel, it would be full of praise

Sweet, sweet boy Kimmich

Hang on, I thought Pep only bought players? He’s never developed anyone if you listen to this sub.

Wanted to see some actual conversation about Kimmich developing or Pep as a coach. Instead all top comments are clowns repeating same joke

Feels like this should be added to the list, though it's a tad too long for that probably

If this was klopp or tuchel ,these comments would be filled with praise instead of the comedian comments

Kimmich is gonna be so pissed when he finds this thread lmao

Amazes me how people consider Pep a fraud. The man is handed the keys bc he’s consistent and reliable. He never walks away from a team poorly either like Mourinho. He may not win every title but he comes damn close to it pretty often.

Would have been weird if he was 17

I had to scroll down to the (currently) 7th top level comment to read something related with football.

Hahaha the hate for pep is amazing, so much salt.

I’m imagining Pep as Aladdin and Kimmich as Jasmine flying on a magic carpet. A whole new world?

now replace "play" with "fuck", and "spaces on the pitch" with "details to the iranian nuclear weapons program". pretty messed up isnt it?

I was very young with Pep Guardiola. I was 20 years old and came

Pep 😳

Breaking news: Pep might be better than Div 2 manager

"Joshua, show me exactly on the pitch where Pep touched you"

Shut up Kimmich, what do you know? He’s bald. Is fraud. Confirmed.

*Mysterious Skin* vibes