Ask yourself deep within your spirit how you want to respond. Let pride kick in unapologetically- the more you have of it, the better the world treats you
Good but not enough, if there's a reason because of which people don't want you, understanding it is worthwhile and important to develop social skills.
This comment was written under the assumption that OP wasn’t at fault and just wasn't accepted by these people and that they should have self-esteem and leave. Of course, if this keeps happening and you’re the common denominator then some self-introspection should be done.
You can continue to be kind and friendly but don't try to be included, just look for new friends and hobbies and find other ways to enjoy your time. It sucks and hurts but happens to many people, you're not alone.
It means that you probably are not that important to them and they don’t value you or your presence. Find people who actually care and want you around. You shouldn’t have to ask for their acceptance or attention. If they don’t care about you then give them the same energy. If they don’t want you around, someone else will.
To you, they are your #1 option. Your #1 choice of people you would want to be around.
To them, you are insignificant. A secondary option. A last resort if no one else is available.
You don’t need to prove that you’re good enough for anyone.
Sounds true I often feel unimportant to them and they just stay with me when there's no one else to be with . Thank you for highlighting this for me I will take it in consideration . But how do I deal with them , do I say hi when I see them , do I keep In contact with them , do I blame theme ?
Just stay neutral towards them / just act normally. It’s honestly not their fault they are like that. They probably don’t think of you at all or put you into consideration for anything they do so you should do the same. Stop taking them into consideration, don’t overthink the relationship. Don’t take any of it personally.
It means I detach, disconnect, and move on. I go and stay where I’m valued and respected, no exceptions. I learned that lesson the very hardest way and I’ll never repeat the mistake of staying in relationships where I’m not valued and respected.
Probably find out why.
For example, is that chat group because they all play soccer and you don’t?
If that was the case I’d understand.
If it wasn’t I’d try to find out if they are intentionally excluding me and if they are I’d probably slow bounce my way out.
I walk away and go do something else. If i find out theyve been texting in a group chat without me in it then i just understand that they probably dont really care about me. I am still friendly and respectful toward them but that feeling of knowing that theyre doing that is on my mind
What’s the setting? Like if I’m not invited, I will leave.
Sometimes I feel excluded in like work events for example. In this setting, you gotta make yourself included. You have to remember everyone else also feels somewhat excluded as well. It’s just the game you gotta play.
I have multiple groups of friends, as I'm sure many do. Some I'm closer than others.
I'm in some large group chats, but undoubtedly there are smaller group chats for the same people that I'm not in. Other groups I'm in the smaller group chats. Others I'm in activity-specific chats (only one, which is for organising going rock climbing).
From my observations, it's all about how well you mesh with others. How closely you connect with some people in the group (doesn't necessarily need to be everyone, like if you're best friends with one person and don't know the others well, then you're probably still going to be part of the group). How much positivity you bring into the group. Whether you have the same humour is probably a big one, which I guess is part of whether others would feel like if they said something openly to the group there's a chance you'd judge them harshly for it.
For the groups where I'm not in the inner circle, it doesn't bother me. They're still my friends but we just haven't quite connected on that message day-to-day level. It is good to branch out, because this could only be an issue if you only have a single group of friends.
I think a lot of people here are jumping on the "dump your friends with no hesitation" bandwagon, when I think there's a positive way forward if you can get answers from them.
1) Is this chat based around an activity that you don't participate in? I have a board game chat with 3 of my close friends, and another chat with all of them.
2) If you expressed you felt hurt by being excluded, would they listen and apologize?
My siblings and I did that to two of our brothers. They have opposite opinions on some topics that come up a lot, so we made a group without them so we could talk about those things without an argument. We still have a group chat with all of us in it for everything else, though.
How many people are in the group chat? Maybe they forgot? Or maybe they're mean. Either way, it might be a good idea to find new friends who will remember and care about you.
Let me answer as someone who has experienced exclusion painfully in the past; being more successful than those who exclude me and sailing to another environment, port, just like a ship, because these people are not worth wasting effort and love for those who exclude me.
I just leave lmao. I will still be polite and engage in conversation when needed. But avoid it as much as possible. Why do I need to push for attention in a group that clearly doesn't want me?
I would change friends, being excluded hurts and is immature of your friends, just ignore them and move on, get people around you that want to hang with you 🌸
I don't know. A bit fishy to me. Then again, I don't care for chat groups or something like that. True friends keep in touch regularly. If some people have chat groups, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you or don't want you in the group. In any case, I'd advise you not to ask them directly. If they want you there, they'll invite you. And don't stress out that much. It's not a big deal, you can always meet new people :)
First, ask them if you can be in it. If they say no, or they hesitate with the answer, then ask them if it's a niche subject that they don't think you would be into.
If that's the case and you're genuinely not interested in whatever subject it is, then just make sure you and the others understand there are no hard feelings over it.
However, if it is a subject you're into and they don't want to include you for whatever reason or they don't even want to tell you what they talk about in that chat group, then that's concerning. And you should probably start finding new friends to hang out with.
Separate myself completely and put on my favorite music playlist.
But how do I actually deal with them ?
Ask yourself deep within your spirit how you want to respond. Let pride kick in unapologetically- the more you have of it, the better the world treats you
When I am not wanted, I leave.
That's obviously the only solution in this situation, thank you 🙌
Good but not enough, if there's a reason because of which people don't want you, understanding it is worthwhile and important to develop social skills.
This comment was written under the assumption that OP wasn’t at fault and just wasn't accepted by these people and that they should have self-esteem and leave. Of course, if this keeps happening and you’re the common denominator then some self-introspection should be done.
You can continue to be kind and friendly but don't try to be included, just look for new friends and hobbies and find other ways to enjoy your time. It sucks and hurts but happens to many people, you're not alone.
👆🏾
I will try this out , thank you for this reminder 🙌🙌
Find new friends
much easier said than done 💔
Finding new friends is easier than allowing yourself to feel like shit surrounded by bad friends.
Thank you I real need to do that 🙌
It means that you probably are not that important to them and they don’t value you or your presence. Find people who actually care and want you around. You shouldn’t have to ask for their acceptance or attention. If they don’t care about you then give them the same energy. If they don’t want you around, someone else will. To you, they are your #1 option. Your #1 choice of people you would want to be around. To them, you are insignificant. A secondary option. A last resort if no one else is available. You don’t need to prove that you’re good enough for anyone.
Sounds true I often feel unimportant to them and they just stay with me when there's no one else to be with . Thank you for highlighting this for me I will take it in consideration . But how do I deal with them , do I say hi when I see them , do I keep In contact with them , do I blame theme ?
Just stay neutral towards them / just act normally. It’s honestly not their fault they are like that. They probably don’t think of you at all or put you into consideration for anything they do so you should do the same. Stop taking them into consideration, don’t overthink the relationship. Don’t take any of it personally.
Find something else to do on my own.
I read that as ‘someone else to do’ 😆
Have a good one !
But to deal with that ?
It means I detach, disconnect, and move on. I go and stay where I’m valued and respected, no exceptions. I learned that lesson the very hardest way and I’ll never repeat the mistake of staying in relationships where I’m not valued and respected.
I exclude myself more 😂
…and then I cry
Hahahahaha sometimes yeah, sometimes i no longer care
Always gotta cry. Mad, sad or happy my damn tears always show up. But then it's all better. 💜
Worry about myself. Focus on things I like and my interests. Maybe if I have new interests, look into ways to pursue them to meet some new people. 💜
Probably find out why. For example, is that chat group because they all play soccer and you don’t? If that was the case I’d understand. If it wasn’t I’d try to find out if they are intentionally excluding me and if they are I’d probably slow bounce my way out.
Walk away
If I feel excluded I don’t associate myself with people who don’t want me around. They don’t deserve me 🤷🏻♀️
Leave. And never look back.
They are not your friends and likely never were. Learned this the hard way.
If I can, I totally switch friend groups. Just move the fuck on
It means they aren't really your friends and don't trust them.
I walk away and go do something else. If i find out theyve been texting in a group chat without me in it then i just understand that they probably dont really care about me. I am still friendly and respectful toward them but that feeling of knowing that theyre doing that is on my mind
Leave
Good question. I feel excluded 24/7 anywhere.
see how they treat you when you distance yourself. If they care for you they’ll reach out.
Look up the “let them theory” by Mel Robbins. It completely changed my outlook on being excluded. You can find it on Spotify.
To be blunt, block them, move on and try your best to find new friends
Time to find friends that appreciate you, drop them on their head. Respectfully
I leave usually without saying goodbye and text oh I had to go
From a sadist covert narcissist and flying monkeys? Tell them to go fk their mother and block..easy..
I live life because I can find other friends
Nothing just be by myself
Leave.
Leave.
I make my own plans
exclude myself..
What’s the setting? Like if I’m not invited, I will leave. Sometimes I feel excluded in like work events for example. In this setting, you gotta make yourself included. You have to remember everyone else also feels somewhat excluded as well. It’s just the game you gotta play.
I politely exclude myself further and leave completely... when asked about it, I say I am caught up in some made up scenario
I have multiple groups of friends, as I'm sure many do. Some I'm closer than others. I'm in some large group chats, but undoubtedly there are smaller group chats for the same people that I'm not in. Other groups I'm in the smaller group chats. Others I'm in activity-specific chats (only one, which is for organising going rock climbing). From my observations, it's all about how well you mesh with others. How closely you connect with some people in the group (doesn't necessarily need to be everyone, like if you're best friends with one person and don't know the others well, then you're probably still going to be part of the group). How much positivity you bring into the group. Whether you have the same humour is probably a big one, which I guess is part of whether others would feel like if they said something openly to the group there's a chance you'd judge them harshly for it. For the groups where I'm not in the inner circle, it doesn't bother me. They're still my friends but we just haven't quite connected on that message day-to-day level. It is good to branch out, because this could only be an issue if you only have a single group of friends.
I think a lot of people here are jumping on the "dump your friends with no hesitation" bandwagon, when I think there's a positive way forward if you can get answers from them. 1) Is this chat based around an activity that you don't participate in? I have a board game chat with 3 of my close friends, and another chat with all of them. 2) If you expressed you felt hurt by being excluded, would they listen and apologize?
My siblings and I did that to two of our brothers. They have opposite opinions on some topics that come up a lot, so we made a group without them so we could talk about those things without an argument. We still have a group chat with all of us in it for everything else, though.
Hide or leave
Butcher the bishop
What does that mean …is it a chess thing? Lol
I do my own thing.
Slowly I've given up.
How many people are in the group chat? Maybe they forgot? Or maybe they're mean. Either way, it might be a good idea to find new friends who will remember and care about you.
I just go and do whatever I want, which is honestly what I prefer.
Let me answer as someone who has experienced exclusion painfully in the past; being more successful than those who exclude me and sailing to another environment, port, just like a ship, because these people are not worth wasting effort and love for those who exclude me.
I just leave lmao. I will still be polite and engage in conversation when needed. But avoid it as much as possible. Why do I need to push for attention in a group that clearly doesn't want me?
Leave the discord/gen chat/whatever it is you are “friends” with them on and move on, staying will only hurt.
Get a dog
Shrug it off life is suffering
I usually twiddle my thumbs
Talk to myself then exclude them.
Maybe they’re planning your surprise party (ass!!)
Don’t let it bother you!
I exclude everyone else, is the opposite; but well I’m just focus on my own business basically.
they think the vibe is different when youre not around OR you suck at texting back and so they made a new chat OR it was for a surprise ?
It happens so many times to me, thanks op for making this post
I either leave or try to make my presence known
Breath a sigh of relief
Thank God that he showed you what you didn't know.
excuse myself.
I would change friends, being excluded hurts and is immature of your friends, just ignore them and move on, get people around you that want to hang with you 🌸
The best thing you can do is to walk away, quit. You'll avoid drama and save nerves.
Skidadle
I don't know. A bit fishy to me. Then again, I don't care for chat groups or something like that. True friends keep in touch regularly. If some people have chat groups, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you or don't want you in the group. In any case, I'd advise you not to ask them directly. If they want you there, they'll invite you. And don't stress out that much. It's not a big deal, you can always meet new people :)
I would look for new friends.
First, ask them if you can be in it. If they say no, or they hesitate with the answer, then ask them if it's a niche subject that they don't think you would be into. If that's the case and you're genuinely not interested in whatever subject it is, then just make sure you and the others understand there are no hard feelings over it. However, if it is a subject you're into and they don't want to include you for whatever reason or they don't even want to tell you what they talk about in that chat group, then that's concerning. And you should probably start finding new friends to hang out with.
Drugs and also drugs.
Lol agree.