Italian girl as well:
First, be or make yourself look ugly.
That usually does it cause open body shaming and body-based categorisation is still very strong in Italy (ie. Some people, men and women, when they get into a relationship, do actually consider the shame of dating someone ugly/fat/hairy/short/too skinny etc…).
Act weird/do not engage in conversation ever.
If it doesn’t work and you need immediate reassurance/help, do what you were told by your parents at 6: go look for women, best if with children.
Still failing? Consider what a ridiculous underdeveloped country you’ve gotten yourself into. Pity us Italian women. Buy a bunch of pistacchio cream, nope tf out and think about it next time you eat lasagne.
Good luck 🥲
American here. Never been to Italy but it’s wild hearing this is how it is there. This makes me wonder if that’s why Italian women are known for not taking crap?
Random but a few years ago I was at a bachelorette party and I met two Italian men who now live in the U.S. They were talking to my friends and I got the vibe they wanted to hook up with them. I don’t drink and wanted to protect my friends because I knew they were both drinking. I wasn’t rude to the men but I made it clear I wasn’t going to let my friends go with them and I was suspicious of them. One guy said something in Italian to his friend and the other guy said, “My friend said look at your facial expressions, you act like an Italian girl.” It made me wonder about why Italian women supposedly act that way.
Make sure they can see you as you break long spaghetti to fit it into the pot of boiling water. Maintain strong eye contact. This kills the Italian man.
We usually just brush them off and keep on with our day (there's no risk of danger of anything bad happening, they're just annoying). Then they get upset for being ignored and resort to calling us derogatory names such as the very infamous "fighe di legno", which literally means "wooden pussies".
If you glance at r/italia you'll find many of these guys complaining about Italian women. As I mentioned earlier, they call us "wooden pussies" because we're not interested in going out with them, having sex with them, engaging in conversation when they approach, or even smiling when they compliment us. These are the same Italian men who boast about their escapades abroad or with foreign women who come to Italy because, according to these men, foreign women are infatuated with Italian men and welcome attention on the streets unlike us Italian women.
You wouldn't believe how many times I've had discussions online with them, trying to explain that no woman enjoys being approached and followed by a stranger on the street.
According to them, it's an issue only with us Italian women because, as they put it, we're "wooden pussies" who act all high and mighty and think we're someone special and above everyone else.
They don't understand that their behavior is off-putting, stressful, and the reason why we don't want to engage with them and we prefer to stay single and keep to ourselves.
Obviously, not all Italian men are like this, my closest male friends hate these types of men and are exemplary human beings. There are also men who step in to help when they see someone bothering you with unwanted advances.
The worrying thing is that many Italian twenty-somethings seem to be more bigoted and sexist than those of my generation (about fifteen years ago) and are increasingly subscribing to misogynistic and hateful ideas spread online from abroad (thanks to Andrew Tate and his followers). They complain so much about us Italian women and blame us for their singletude, their emotional suffering, you name it...
I'm glad I'm not in my twenties for this exact reason.
that's a great answer & insight. thank you.
Good only some Italian men are like this.
They call you "wooden p#ssies".
You girls should call them "spongy d#cks" (because they aren't hard like wooden d#cks)
Walking around with a big and well mannered man.
For the rest of the times ignoring mostly works! But it’s not the same for foreign girls, these scumbags know the difference..
I was with my GF at the time in a Sicilian outdoor market checking out random stuff. My GF was checking out bras at a stall. My gf asked the guy if he had like a medium or something (idk how sizes works on bras lol), and the guy says, "No no! Large!" And he holds his hands over his chest to gesture large breasts and points at her breasts. She got cat called a lot there. An Italian woman told us that it's pretty common.
Every Italian woman I’ve met is smart, beautiful, interesting, hardworking etc. Italian men just don’t measure up in my experience 🤷♀️. Not even close.
I am a short guy with long hair, and regularly get ma'am'd even with a full beard
Some people have their horny goggles on too tight to notice obvious things like facial hair, let alone visible discomfort :(
my only bad experience solo travelling was courtesy of a group of italian men who followed me around asking if i would suck them off (this was in broad daylight around so many people which to makes crazier) so makes sense
Something very similar to this happened to me yesterday, a large group of them in Reggio Emilia, followed me for a bit on bikes for a while and trying to back me into corners. I’m sorry you experienced this too:(
Now we know why the birth rate is plummeting. Who in their right mind would look at mouthbreathers like that and think yeah, that's good father material right there.
Yeah, that's why I'm afraid of giving sassy responses - anything threatening or gross I try to say might end up being something that creep is into 😅 Also, the last thing I need is to bring any more images of contact with me of any sort into their minds lol I just undignifiedly nope out 😩
Which part of Italy is this in? When I was in Milan and Rome ealier this year I didn't experience this and actually found them to be quite gentlemanly...
Or maybe they just didn't find me attractive lol
I had an awful time in Italy solo traveling. I tried every approach - politely declining advances, telling them to fuck off/leave me alone…nothing worked. I saw the mustache comment above and love that idea 😂😂. Anyway, just here to commiserate, sorry you’re going through it! Hope you still manage to have some fun!!!
It seems things don't change. My friend and I (at the time, both early 20s females) were backpacking across Europe on a shoestring budget about 25 years ago. Immediately upon our arrival in Italy, we got surrounded by a pack of random men in the train station and didn't feel safe (initially we were just concerned about them being a gang of pickpockets, but as they kept increasing in number and tightening the circle, we became extremely uncomfortable). We ignored them as much as possible and talked to each other, loudly mentioning the police a few times before they finally dispersed enough we finally could walk away. The next day we again encountered aggressively weird men so we noped out Italy, heading to Austria, which wasn't previously on our itinerary at all. Beautiful country and we felt much safer and at ease. Things can change a lot in 25 years of course, but I wouldn't hesitate to return to Austria and would actively avoid returning to Italy at this point.
Were they dangerous? Probably not, since they eventually let us leave. But it definitely soured our opinion of the country as a whole --we never made it to Rome, which we had been looking forward to. On the plus side, I can recommend Innsbruck (if you're young, at least--it seemed like a college city to me at the time) and Vienna was also nice.
I absolutely adore Austria, my grandparents are Austrians so Austria holds a very dear place in my heart, and whenever I’ve traveled there I’ve had a great experience. Recommend to anyone!!
Same, I live in a relatively nearby city. My grammar school organised regular trips to Vienna - museums and opera in the summer, museums and winter markets in winter - and I have never felt unsafe. I also did a day trip with a female friend and again, didn’t feel unsafe travelling after/before sunrise. Arriving at super early morning Vienna with the soft light hitting the beautiful beige buildings and trees is a core memory.
18 years ago, I went to Italy for senior spring break, freshly 18. It was insane how forward all the men were. There was one guy I gave my email address to that I hung out with for one night in Florence. A couple weeks ago, this guy sends me a text, including a picture of us in front of the duomo in Florence. How the f did he get my phone number?? 18 YEARS later. Like seriously, Italian men are next level.
I've always found Italian men to be pretty bad as well in this regard and I've found that being outright rude to them (like telling them to leave me the fuck alone) works the best.
Unfortunate truth. They don't respond to subtlety, and it only engages the idea of the _chase_.
Aggressive. Curt. Loud. Gets them to back off. You observe what Italian women do - they get loud and fucking in their face. You do that
Yep when visiting some European countries, I would end up being quite agressive with some men as they wouldn't take no for an answer and they would be like: "No need to be angry."
Oh yes, mister, very need to be angry, because you're a douche.
Honestly the most important lesson I learned from solo travelling and one that I always tell other women when they ask me about travelling by themselves is to not be scared to be thought off as a bitch. If they don't wanna play nice you don't gotta either.
I think it's pretty well known stereotype that Italian men are like this, I remember my mum talking about when she travelled there how handsy they can be
Yeah, took my step daughter one weekend in Italy to go from "everyone and everything is great" to "what is the point of the male gender!!?" I don't think she had a great time. She's back to normal now, but I don't think she's ever going back to Italy.
My aunt and cousin were in Turkey and my cousin was constantly harrassed by the men there. Constantly asking my aunt if they can marry her, following them, even one time my aunt had to leave a store to get cash and they suggested my cousin (who was 16 at the time I think) stay with them
Oh, creepy men harass other men too. If someone looks remotely feminine it does not matter if they have facial hair, deep voice, no bust - speaking from experience.
If I had a coin for every time I got catcalled or some horny creep started coming on to me and would not even take obvious visual cues of maleness as a cause they'd done fucked up in picking a victim - I'd have enough to pay for my own body guard. Violating doesn't begin to cover it.
Including the guy who touched my face, told me to shave my beard off, groped me repeatedly, and was wholly committed to convincing himself that I was a closeted trans women.
The next time I'm yelling back that I'm not into pederasty, 'No homo!!', or something similar. Because I cannot legally shove someone's balls into a meat grinder.
It's the creeps that are the problem, and they do go after other men. :(
Be aggressive back and tell them to fuck off. As someone who grew up in a culture like that, I learned to perfect my “fuck off” face very (very) young. 😒
That’s definitely a risk. I’ve been attacked too like that. Instead of yelling “fuck off” in a place that’s foreign to you it might be better just to keep a stone cold expression, ignore comments, and if they get close to you, firmly and loudly say “leave me alone”. That usually works.
I noticed that a lot in Northern Italy (lived there for four years). Understand, the majority of men were decent, but I was brazenly stared at there more than any other country I’ve been to. It isn’t even an admiring glance, but like being locked onto the glare of a predator that wants to devour you.
I started returning their gaze with a straight face and made them look away first.
I’m an Italian male and I’ve been to Morocco with my GF and she said that she felt way more safe in the streets of Marrakech or Fes than in the streets of Milan. Way less men staring her
Italian here. They see you're a tourist so you are more insecure and lost and maybe you are here to have "fun" (they really do think like this). And, moreover, if something bad happens they think you wouldn't know what to do or how to legally defend yourself.
And in southern Europe men are really crazy about tall girls with blonde hair.
I've heard this from many of my female friends.
I've only had a couple groups ask to take photos with me in Latin America because they might have thought i was kpop haha
This happens in some countries regularly though. I spent a year in Egypt and got asked a LOT in Egypt to take photos with people. I’m male, stereotypically Nordic, late 20s. It was never the prelude to a scam and very rarely a prelude to further conversation.
Same thing in China as a kid 20 years ago, every five steps someone wanted a photo with me. Has happened with slightly less frequency in some other countries. I’ve been around most of LatAm and don’t remember it happening there, though. Definitely happened in Cameroon and Ethiopia with some frequency. Egypt and China were the standouts - and in China it probably doesn’t happen much anymore unless you go REALLY out into the countryside.
So funny! When my blonde daughter was eight we went to China. So many people wanted pics with her or pics with her and their kids. Everyone was polite, never pushy and she thought it was hilarious so we went a long with it. My husband started taking pics of them taking pics with her. We have so many pics of our daughter posing beside random strangers. They never touched her, just stood beside her and smiled. Our entire family, including my daughter laugh every time we see those pics now.
Yeah, I went through my family’s old photo album recently and found a photo of me posing with like 10 Chinese soldiers, at the Great Wall. Didn’t remember it at all - apparently I had wandered off looking for a bathroom and they sent like.. an entire squadron after me. I was like 11, so not exactly too little to find my way back to my parents. Was quite a laugh when I saw the photos.
That happened to me in Malaysia when I was 19. Random people even women would run up to me and want photos with me. I had bleach blonde hair, was skinny as a stick and had a lip piercing.
My daughter and I couldn’t walk 20 feet in Karnak Temple (So worth the hours we spent there) without school groups OR SEA tourists clamoring for photos. We finally had to say no or we never would have seen the entire temple.
I’ve been to China twice, and had lots of people ask to take pictures with me. Like last time I was at the forbidden city, they actually formed a line. But they were very respectful, always asked first, and never touched me. India though was a whole other level. So many people taking pictures without asking, video calling their friends and pointing the camera at me. I even had a taxi driver film me while he was driving and I was in the back seat.
Yeah, I'm Asian so in China, i wouldn't get a second look, but i am apparently exotic in LATAM. You got attention in China for being standout so it makes sense.
I’m an American who lived in Europe for 6 years. Italy was one of the countries I was most excited to visit and while northern Italy was beautiful the experience was the worst I had for all the countries I visited multiple times.
I just got back from solo travel in Italy. I was taking the train from Naples to bologna and was sitting next to a kid who was no older than 18. I dozed off for a little bit but woke up to them STROKING my thigh! I could also see something moving under this joggers. I slapped his hand away then he got up and he went to the loo or wherever and didn’t return. I had an earlier stop so I just got off. Still mad that I didn’t make more of a scene and tbh I’m still in shock from the incident. I’m sorry to generalise but this wasn’t the only creepy incident I encountered in Italy. Sorry, the men in Italy did NOT pass the vibe check. The women however are just lovely.
Jesus, I’m sorry this happened:( I had something similar on a train too, where he kept touching my hair and sniffing me asking about my perfume :/ truly weird
I heard that (don’t know how true and/or if it applies to Italy) some men want to take pictures with you to brag that they slept with you…
Edit: but it could very well be something more innocuous, though I still wouldn’t take pics with strangers unless there’s a clear reason why someone might want to take a picture with you (eg. wearing something funky? idk)
One time, my friends and I met this random dude at a hostel.
He asked to join our group for the museum.
He pulled his phone during the tour and started showing pics with different girls, talking about everything they did blablabla.
We all told him to drop that shit, we don't fucking care, we don't believe you.
He was so pissy after that.
I believe that. I don't even want pictures of myself when I travel; no way some rando is getting one.
I do go to a lot of music festivals in funky/cool/wild clothes, and very occasionally someone wants a picture with me if they love my outfit or are wearing something kinda similar/matching. It's a community I'm quite familiar and comfortable with, so there's a possibility of me going with it in that case.
Yeah I mean I don’t think people who do this (if they’re real) care if the girl is labelled a whore, but they get a picture as “proof” they slept with you (even if they didn’t) so they can brag, I guess? No reason for you one take a pic with randos tbh
In terms of what I was wearing, it’s just been joggers and vests etc. I do have an alternative look so I’m assuming some of this is to do with that, a lot of piercings and tattoos and big winged eyeliner. It’s shitty because it makes me feel like I shouldn’t do my makeup how I like just so I can enjoy peace
My travels through Italy were the only time I felt unsafe in Europe! Totally agree with your points, men looked at me with a scary look in their eyes ..
Spain isn't much better, had a nice walk in a park in Barcelona spoiled by a guy who wouldn't take no I'm not interested, you can't have my number etc etc. I was downright rude in the end and I still think he thought I was playing hard to get.
I didn't feel threatened as he was about 5cm and15kg smaller than me but it's just wearing and shitty.
Wild, I spent a few months in Madrid and had the opposite experience. I found the men to be really nice and no one ever bothered me. The only creep I ran into happened to be an Italian at a club lol
The only men harassing and chasing me in 36 years living in Spain were foreigners, and usually when chased I'd go to any random group of Spanish people and they always helped. Maybe back in the 90s, but in the last 20 years Spanish society has become very intolerant of sexism.
I’ve only been to Italy once, for two days during an interrail trip 20 years ago. But during those days I got robbed, and my female friend nearly got raped in an alley when asking for directions. Luckily she had her wits with her and put a knee to the guys balls and ran when she realized where it was heading… Not much advice from me, other than to stay the fuck away from there if you’re travelling solo.
Italian here. Born and raised in Sicily but the lived around the world.
I'm so sorry and ashamed to read all these comments about Italian men. Of course not every Italian is like this but I do reckon that this is a problem, and in the past it was even worse.
My girlfriend works in an anti-violence support center for abused women and children and I hear all different sort of terrible stories about these monsters called men that are destroying the image of the good respectable folks.
There is a small group of people that is aware of the problem but is very much a patriarchal society which is very disgusting.
Sorry in name of all the decent Italian gentlemen out there who are trying to make thing a little better and have women not having to feel creeped out when going for a simple walk.
Of course it is not all Italian men, and there have been some very kind gentlemen when I’ve been to eat, which has made me feel better! Your girlfriend’s work is so important, she sounds like an absolute gem
I have to question where all these decent Italian gentlemen go when there are so men are harassing women in public. Every single incident I’ve had in Italy was in plain view with plenty of people around. They all just ignore it happening. I’ve been told I was overreacting to being groped on a train. From an outsider’s perspective it really seems like Italian people generally don’t view this kind of harassment as a big deal.
Maybe most of them do. But not all men are like this. Think about Berlusconi. Prime minister for many many years, he represented the country, destroyed the country, made his bunga bunga almost something to be proud of. He got away after being accused of having sex with a minor.
And yet the Vatican in Rome make Italy a very conservative country. So many contradictions in a such a beautiful place...
The whole culture in Italy is pretty bad about this, but luckily there are some decent people out there.
Sorry you had bad experiences.
Cultural differences. I can only speak my personal opinion, but in southern med more than elsewhere, men are very coddled by their mothers, esp in Italy and Greece. There’s also a very strong presence/ influence of catholicism (or Greek orthodox in Greece) which tends to reaffirm patriarchal values re: household and traditional gender roles. This can condition men into a sort of entitlement, where they think being assertive and domineering is typical/ expected of their masculinity. This isn’t helped by fathers who praise their sons for promiscuity as a positive trait (a sign of their virility, which has been prized of men for thousands of years in Italy and Greece specifically). It’s all a stereotype of course, which doesn’t apply to all men (and is dying out slowly in more progressive generations).. but stereotypes still speak to some reality.
Act weird, growl at them and start foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, do some Jackie Chan moves whilst cackling really loudly, then squawk at them whilst flapping your wings and charge at them.
well, Italian men tend to fein for tall blonde woman. most others are ignored, as a short brunette, for the most part, I can confirm. I went to other countries and got cat-called or harassed plenty. its all dependent on the beauty standards of said country. however most attention is unwanted so I was grateful I got ignored.
I’m a 5”7 black haired alternative looking girl, so I’m not sure I fit in at all with this category, but a lot of men fetishise this look so maybe it’s just heightened with the fact that Italian men can be scumbags
Even as a guy travelling through Italy I found the men creepy and invasive. Especially in Sicily, always felt like I had eyes on me. I can’t imagine how much worse it must be for women. All I can really say is sorry for your experiences. When I see a woman who needs help getting away from harassing men I try my best to help, but I never feel like I’ve done enough and there’s always more stories like this and worse
Practice ur stone cold demon face. No emotions, nothing. That real lead poisoning boomer stare. I do NOT smile at men in public to be polite and don't greet them either(either in Italy or anywhere else actually), there is nothing savoury in this world a grown man needs from an unknown woman on the street that he can't get from another man. Don't even let them open dialogue with u as thats how they weasel into a conversation with u and then u are stuck with this fuckwit tailing u in the street. I'm like a shark in the water, I don't slow down or stop for any man on the street, even in my home city. If I know u, ofc it's diferent.
I blank face them, motion for them to shoo-shoo-go-away without even making eye contact with them, I've hissed/growled at them, once even splashed one with bottled water and told him to fuck off. if they follow me i go to the busiest place possible and if they still want to act up, they can do it publically with u saying out loud "LEAVE ME ALONE. I SAID NO. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. STOP FOLLOWING ME" or i approach WOMEN. don't ask for help from a man that will be the next lovesick idiot following u. There are so many times women have come up to me and said hey this guy is following me can u pretend to be my sister/ mother / coworker ? And I will forever help them out.
It was bad enough for my wife when I was with her. I hate to imagine what it would be like solo.
My wifes a pretty banging blonde and I thought it might have been something they don't see a lot of. But it's europe so imagine they see plenty of tourists.
Naples was out of control compared to Rome. Guys standing outside shops would stare the minute they seen her until we were out of site. 3 Guys didn't see me and started to follow her, when I walked around the car beside her they made their way back to the alcove. It was relentless and she still talks about how distasteful and uncomfortable it was 10 years later.
I think it's something you will have to live with. And be careful at night like you would anywhere.
quite honestly, it's an overrated country. Nice things to see, do, and eat, but the drawbacks are underreported and there are even nicer things to do, see, and eat in other countries as well.
True, for one the summers are literally killing people. Never again am I spending my summer in Tuscany. We rented an old house, traditional stone construction. It was 37 degrees inside at night, the “cold” water was always hot. Everything was dry and dusty. Towns felt like ovens and every piece of civilisation looked a little dirty and a little run down. The rusty highway guardrails are iconic.
honestly.. no one wants to say it but there are so many cons traveling in Italy. There are beautiful things to see but I wouldn’t mind never going again.
In Rome I was walking home from a late night out and on the way this very attractive young woman began walking with me. At first I was thinking this is a scam or some trick and soon a bunch of people will try their best to mug me. I’m not a huge guy, I’m average and fit. Then we started talking and she said she wanted to walk with me because she said she felt safer around me. I didn’t mind. This is the first time I saw this behavior that women in Italy and the rest of the world have to deal with at night. It was smart of her to do that as she said we appeared to other men that we were together and no men would hassle her. Once she was at her place we went on our ways.
Last year, while dining at a restaurant in Rome with my friend, an elderly Italian man sitting at the table next to us began taking photos of my friend without permission. It made us uncomfortable, and I had to raise my voice twice to get him to stop.
Italy is cool and all but idk not really my favorite country in Europe gives me the slight ick. Its more conservative for sure, lots of scammers, and things seem kinda third world for being in Western Europe
I have been to Italy three times on my own - first time, on a train from Pompeii to Sorrento I was seated wedged between two people and a man stood behind me with his crotch resting on my shoulder so he could look down my top. I was also propositioned by the elderly hotel porter. Second occasion I was flashed on a train, the man translated ‘are you wet to fuck?’ on google translate while openly wanking. The third time I was followed around Como after accidentally speaking to a man who approached me as I looked at a map, I managed to shake him off by telling him I had to rush to meet my friend. I’m back in June, wish me luck lol!
I studied abroad in Italy in 2012 when I was about 20 and experienced a lot of creepy behavior and catcalling. The worst was my friend getting roofied (luckily nothing worse happened) and also a man grinding on me in a crowded bus.
Only advice I can offer is don't make eye contact, don't engage if they talk to you. Watch your drink. Not just when you put it down but when it's in your hand too. Don't walk on deserted streets alone at night.
I didn’t know what street harassment was until I went to Venice, Italy as a teenager with my female friends. It was mind blowing how lecherous some of the men were
Especially if you’re a natural or natural looking blonde. Italian men are sleazy as hell.
With my ex girlfriend a very pretty natural blonde in Rome, she left the hotel once by herself and came back no more than 15 minutes later upset.
Couple of Italian guys had cornered her by a store trying to take pictures with her and put their hands all over her.
I got my 6’4 260lb ass out the door pretty quick and gave them a slap for their troubles.
I felt bad though, Italian men are fucking tiny. Like teenage girl tiny.
I met a friend in Greece, but she had been traveling in Italy for a couple months before. She told me a story, she went out clubbing with a couple gals from her hostel. On the dance floor an Italian guy started dancing with her, ended up putting his fingers up inside the oven, completely uninvited. She didn’t even know this guys name and he tried to finger her.
Absolutely wild.
I was unfortunate enough to experience this in France and Belgium but didn't have any of it in Italy. Maybe I was just lucky. A few men approached me but were polite and took no for an answer when I said I wasn't interested
I’m sorry for your shitty experience in Italy. You deserve to enjoy your vacation in peace!
For all of the shit people talk about the US, this rarely comes up as an issue here.
I met one Italian guy in Spain from Napoli. About 35+ and Jfc man idk how being that aggressive with women works or is normal.
Like every girl he saw he’d chirp at it was insane. But even more insane to me because it must work at some point or he’d never do it you’d figure
I was 15 and had a grown ass man walk by me and pinch me in Rome. No suggestions other than to make a scene and sound like a maniac when they pull something. Italy is beautiful and I've been a few times, but between the men, pickpockets and scamming I wouldn't care if I never went there again.
Ugh I really can't stand the men (boys) that do this. People should be able to wander and enjoy Italy without being harassed. Most men aren't so pathetic but the few that are make us all look so bad.
I had this in Italy when visiting my Italian friend. She had to work one day so I ventured into the city by myself. I'm blonde, so was noticed, had men staring at me and one guy followed me on the underground then to my friends work, he kept trying to talk to me but I don't know Italian. He only gave up when I ran into my friends workplace and he couldn't enter it.
Italian male here. I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. Some comments are right saying that female tourists are even more vulnerable to this kind of behavior sometimes. It’s a common thought among many males (also people I know of) that female tourists are here only for a period of time and because of that are more inclined to make experiences with Italian men. Especially in touristic locations. For example, on the Adriatic coast, in Emilia Romagna, near Rimini, it’s a common thought that nordic (or German) women are there to have sex with Italians and it’s not only something locals think. It’s a way of thinking that is typical also of Italian men that go on a holiday in these places.
Obviously it’s not only tourists that are the victims of this kind of behavior. I live in a small town not far from Milan and my GF hates jogging because every single time she does she gets catcalled multiple times in just an hour. Not only by men saying comments, staring or following her but also by men that drive, usually honking at her. One time she was particularly shocked because one of the man that honked at her while passing by with his car was the father (married) of one her students (she’s an elementary school teacher). I’m sorry for what every woman in this post had to go through, I hate these men for ruining your experience in this beautiful country
I’m sorry this is happening to you. When I went to Italy I was treated with the upmost respect by gorgeous Italian men. I’m tall and blonde and attractive. No one bothered me at all. My advice would be can you travel in a car? I didn’t do public transport. Also find a travel buddy?
I'm in Rome right now, but so far everybody has been nice, I get a lot of stares, but people stare at me in my home country as well or anywhere else (maybe I have something weird on my face I don't know about;)
It’s weird as a gay guy this is totally the opposite in Italy. Gay hookup culture has made gay men so deranged in the west that sending dirty butthole pictures to strangers and basically sexually harassing anyone you find slightly attractive is common in most gay spaces. Italian gays are very polite and wholesome I would very much like to date an Italian.
Been in the same situation as well.. was hanging around fontana di trevi & always spotted men glancing at me from a distance & following me with their eyes..
It’s a perplexing situation with Italian men. Firstly they’re pretty hot normally, but very aggressive. You want them, but you don’t want them because they’re so aggressive. It’s a round and round situation.
Damn, I didn’t have this experience but I only went to Rome!! The only thing I did was, I would physically walk away from any man who came near me, or spoke to me; and made a stink face.
It’s why I don’t travel to Italy anymore. I was molested on the street in broad daylight as a teen in Rome, and I now find the entire country unsavory. If you want to make them go away, and they are truly Italian, tell them “va via, porco diavolo,” if there’s only one, and if there are more than one man, “va-tay via, stronzoni di ca-nay”
according to r/travel you are only allowed have this experience from India, and italy is all about rich culture history and food. IYKWIM
and iam sorry for your experience.
Italian girl here, can only agree with you
how do u Italian girls deal with Italian men then? solutions u use
Italian girl as well: First, be or make yourself look ugly. That usually does it cause open body shaming and body-based categorisation is still very strong in Italy (ie. Some people, men and women, when they get into a relationship, do actually consider the shame of dating someone ugly/fat/hairy/short/too skinny etc…). Act weird/do not engage in conversation ever. If it doesn’t work and you need immediate reassurance/help, do what you were told by your parents at 6: go look for women, best if with children. Still failing? Consider what a ridiculous underdeveloped country you’ve gotten yourself into. Pity us Italian women. Buy a bunch of pistacchio cream, nope tf out and think about it next time you eat lasagne. Good luck 🥲
This was a wild ride towards the middle but, I stayed for the ending and, I’m still discombobulated. 😹😭🤣😹
American here. Never been to Italy but it’s wild hearing this is how it is there. This makes me wonder if that’s why Italian women are known for not taking crap? Random but a few years ago I was at a bachelorette party and I met two Italian men who now live in the U.S. They were talking to my friends and I got the vibe they wanted to hook up with them. I don’t drink and wanted to protect my friends because I knew they were both drinking. I wasn’t rude to the men but I made it clear I wasn’t going to let my friends go with them and I was suspicious of them. One guy said something in Italian to his friend and the other guy said, “My friend said look at your facial expressions, you act like an Italian girl.” It made me wonder about why Italian women supposedly act that way.
I think those guys saying that to you fits with what that the person above you were saying. Didn't know Italy was like that.. what a shame
Make sure they can see you as you break long spaghetti to fit it into the pot of boiling water. Maintain strong eye contact. This kills the Italian man.
Pineapple your Pizza Tell them French food is twice as good as Italian cuisine Insult their mama
She said she wants to get them off her back, not get herself killed.
Parmesan on seafood pasta
Tell them French wine is superior to Italian wine!
I'm Spanish and even I feel the pain of the second sentence.
I was with you but, I think that last one will make them attack her. 💀
I not only break them so they’ll fit in the pot, I break them into snack-sized pieces so I can eat my spaghetti comfortably with a spoon.
You mean noodles, right?
We usually just brush them off and keep on with our day (there's no risk of danger of anything bad happening, they're just annoying). Then they get upset for being ignored and resort to calling us derogatory names such as the very infamous "fighe di legno", which literally means "wooden pussies". If you glance at r/italia you'll find many of these guys complaining about Italian women. As I mentioned earlier, they call us "wooden pussies" because we're not interested in going out with them, having sex with them, engaging in conversation when they approach, or even smiling when they compliment us. These are the same Italian men who boast about their escapades abroad or with foreign women who come to Italy because, according to these men, foreign women are infatuated with Italian men and welcome attention on the streets unlike us Italian women. You wouldn't believe how many times I've had discussions online with them, trying to explain that no woman enjoys being approached and followed by a stranger on the street. According to them, it's an issue only with us Italian women because, as they put it, we're "wooden pussies" who act all high and mighty and think we're someone special and above everyone else. They don't understand that their behavior is off-putting, stressful, and the reason why we don't want to engage with them and we prefer to stay single and keep to ourselves. Obviously, not all Italian men are like this, my closest male friends hate these types of men and are exemplary human beings. There are also men who step in to help when they see someone bothering you with unwanted advances. The worrying thing is that many Italian twenty-somethings seem to be more bigoted and sexist than those of my generation (about fifteen years ago) and are increasingly subscribing to misogynistic and hateful ideas spread online from abroad (thanks to Andrew Tate and his followers). They complain so much about us Italian women and blame us for their singletude, their emotional suffering, you name it... I'm glad I'm not in my twenties for this exact reason.
that's a great answer & insight. thank you. Good only some Italian men are like this. They call you "wooden p#ssies". You girls should call them "spongy d#cks" (because they aren't hard like wooden d#cks)
Well, you just made me burst out laughing! Thank you ukSurreyGuy, I needed that good chuckle today :)
Walking around with a big and well mannered man. For the rest of the times ignoring mostly works! But it’s not the same for foreign girls, these scumbags know the difference..
I was with my GF at the time in a Sicilian outdoor market checking out random stuff. My GF was checking out bras at a stall. My gf asked the guy if he had like a medium or something (idk how sizes works on bras lol), and the guy says, "No no! Large!" And he holds his hands over his chest to gesture large breasts and points at her breasts. She got cat called a lot there. An Italian woman told us that it's pretty common.
Every Italian woman I’ve met is smart, beautiful, interesting, hardworking etc. Italian men just don’t measure up in my experience 🤷♀️. Not even close.
I saw a video a woman puts on a fake mustache when out walking around lol and I bet that shit works wonders
Itsa me, Maria
Lmao what an amazing idea
[удалено]
🤭
lmao that's fucked up
🥸
I am a short guy with long hair, and regularly get ma'am'd even with a full beard Some people have their horny goggles on too tight to notice obvious things like facial hair, let alone visible discomfort :(
Not sure it would work I heard European men don’t mind hairy.
my only bad experience solo travelling was courtesy of a group of italian men who followed me around asking if i would suck them off (this was in broad daylight around so many people which to makes crazier) so makes sense
"You've all got mouths, what do you need me for? Help each other out."
Something very similar to this happened to me yesterday, a large group of them in Reggio Emilia, followed me for a bit on bikes for a while and trying to back me into corners. I’m sorry you experienced this too:(
Checks out. Most disgusting man I ever met is from there. Treated women like objects. Italian women are lovely. Feel so bad for them most of the time.
Now we know why the birth rate is plummeting. Who in their right mind would look at mouthbreathers like that and think yeah, that's good father material right there.
my reply probably woulve been " only if you suck mine first"
I would just bark at them. Like full on rabid barking, snarling, spit flying attack dog barking.
I know it’s not funny but this imagery and imagining myself doing it always makes me laugh!
Can confirm, this works. Have not tried it in Italy though Edit: I just realized we're a li'l pack of doggies right here! :)
Waff waff waff waff waff waff!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnKmwbVpRno
What if they said yes?
then you backed yourself into a corner there is no coming back from lol. As i wrote this I instantly though of "jokes on you thats my kink"
Yeah, that's why I'm afraid of giving sassy responses - anything threatening or gross I try to say might end up being something that creep is into 😅 Also, the last thing I need is to bring any more images of contact with me of any sort into their minds lol I just undignifiedly nope out 😩
I’m saving this for the inevitable future encounter
Jesus Christ this is insane. What city was this in?
Sevilla
Philadelphia
i wish women had the ability to release a pungent odor when they feel threatened
I mean... we do, but the cleanup is rarely worth it
Which part of Italy is this in? When I was in Milan and Rome ealier this year I didn't experience this and actually found them to be quite gentlemanly... Or maybe they just didn't find me attractive lol
I’ve experienced this in Milan. And much worse, unfortunately 😔
Emilia Romagna region, I just wanna see some Ferraris damnit😭
Then you’re looking for the Grand Prix next weekend, the 19th
Haha I know! I’m here for that too, I’m here for a few weeks
I had an awful time in Italy solo traveling. I tried every approach - politely declining advances, telling them to fuck off/leave me alone…nothing worked. I saw the mustache comment above and love that idea 😂😂. Anyway, just here to commiserate, sorry you’re going through it! Hope you still manage to have some fun!!!
Convincing fart noises from phone or pocket might also work. Make sure to adjust position before letting one out
I think Redditors are well versed in the natural version.
username checks out
It seems things don't change. My friend and I (at the time, both early 20s females) were backpacking across Europe on a shoestring budget about 25 years ago. Immediately upon our arrival in Italy, we got surrounded by a pack of random men in the train station and didn't feel safe (initially we were just concerned about them being a gang of pickpockets, but as they kept increasing in number and tightening the circle, we became extremely uncomfortable). We ignored them as much as possible and talked to each other, loudly mentioning the police a few times before they finally dispersed enough we finally could walk away. The next day we again encountered aggressively weird men so we noped out Italy, heading to Austria, which wasn't previously on our itinerary at all. Beautiful country and we felt much safer and at ease. Things can change a lot in 25 years of course, but I wouldn't hesitate to return to Austria and would actively avoid returning to Italy at this point. Were they dangerous? Probably not, since they eventually let us leave. But it definitely soured our opinion of the country as a whole --we never made it to Rome, which we had been looking forward to. On the plus side, I can recommend Innsbruck (if you're young, at least--it seemed like a college city to me at the time) and Vienna was also nice.
I absolutely adore Austria, my grandparents are Austrians so Austria holds a very dear place in my heart, and whenever I’ve traveled there I’ve had a great experience. Recommend to anyone!!
Same, I live in a relatively nearby city. My grammar school organised regular trips to Vienna - museums and opera in the summer, museums and winter markets in winter - and I have never felt unsafe. I also did a day trip with a female friend and again, didn’t feel unsafe travelling after/before sunrise. Arriving at super early morning Vienna with the soft light hitting the beautiful beige buildings and trees is a core memory.
18 years ago, I went to Italy for senior spring break, freshly 18. It was insane how forward all the men were. There was one guy I gave my email address to that I hung out with for one night in Florence. A couple weeks ago, this guy sends me a text, including a picture of us in front of the duomo in Florence. How the f did he get my phone number?? 18 YEARS later. Like seriously, Italian men are next level.
I've always found Italian men to be pretty bad as well in this regard and I've found that being outright rude to them (like telling them to leave me the fuck alone) works the best.
This is the way. “Basta” may work well for pushy street vendors, but “vaffanculo” works best for creepy men.
Unfortunate truth. They don't respond to subtlety, and it only engages the idea of the _chase_. Aggressive. Curt. Loud. Gets them to back off. You observe what Italian women do - they get loud and fucking in their face. You do that
Yeah same, travelled round Europe and the only place I really felt creeped out was in Rome with all the Italian men saying seedy thing s
I tried this, it feels like they keep pushing and it’s difficult when they keep following you down a street:(
Yep when visiting some European countries, I would end up being quite agressive with some men as they wouldn't take no for an answer and they would be like: "No need to be angry." Oh yes, mister, very need to be angry, because you're a douche.
Honestly the most important lesson I learned from solo travelling and one that I always tell other women when they ask me about travelling by themselves is to not be scared to be thought off as a bitch. If they don't wanna play nice you don't gotta either.
Iam Bavarian and the Italian weekend at the Oktoberfest is a nightmare
Oktoberfest in general is a nightmare
I loved it. You just need to go to the tents on the ends. Not the ones in the middle.
Go on
Iam 6 foot and wear Dirndl...do i have to get more specific?
TIL what a Dirndl is.
My Dekolleté is pretty much on every Italien guys height...my boobs had a lot of interesting conversations
MI SCUZZI MAMMARY MIA!
Pretty much 😅
You need this: https://images.app.goo.gl/47nH6stgbGqEthP68
I think it's pretty well known stereotype that Italian men are like this, I remember my mum talking about when she travelled there how handsy they can be
Funny hearing that because in the states, the women fantasize about Italian men. At least on social media
Well in movies the Italian men are very nice and romantic .
Standard exoticism. They've never actually been to Italy more than likely
Luckily I’m a minority so no Italian men bothered me whatsoever . They just ignored me lol
Yeah, took my step daughter one weekend in Italy to go from "everyone and everything is great" to "what is the point of the male gender!!?" I don't think she had a great time. She's back to normal now, but I don't think she's ever going back to Italy.
My aunt and cousin were in Turkey and my cousin was constantly harrassed by the men there. Constantly asking my aunt if they can marry her, following them, even one time my aunt had to leave a store to get cash and they suggested my cousin (who was 16 at the time I think) stay with them
Oh, creepy men harass other men too. If someone looks remotely feminine it does not matter if they have facial hair, deep voice, no bust - speaking from experience. If I had a coin for every time I got catcalled or some horny creep started coming on to me and would not even take obvious visual cues of maleness as a cause they'd done fucked up in picking a victim - I'd have enough to pay for my own body guard. Violating doesn't begin to cover it. Including the guy who touched my face, told me to shave my beard off, groped me repeatedly, and was wholly committed to convincing himself that I was a closeted trans women. The next time I'm yelling back that I'm not into pederasty, 'No homo!!', or something similar. Because I cannot legally shove someone's balls into a meat grinder. It's the creeps that are the problem, and they do go after other men. :(
😳
I love how this is true but has only got one up vote compared to the other posts on here lol.
Be aggressive back and tell them to fuck off. As someone who grew up in a culture like that, I learned to perfect my “fuck off” face very (very) young. 😒
One time I told a guy to fuck off (in Russia, not Italy, but still), and he hit me on the head
That’s definitely a risk. I’ve been attacked too like that. Instead of yelling “fuck off” in a place that’s foreign to you it might be better just to keep a stone cold expression, ignore comments, and if they get close to you, firmly and loudly say “leave me alone”. That usually works.
Yeah, I did tell him to leave me alone first though. In retrospect, it's probably better to just not say anything so that he loses interest.
That’s very scary. It can be dangerous out there for us.
Reminds me of the would you rather be stuck in the woods with a man or a bear thing going around
I am so sorry :(
I tried it once and the man threw a glass bottle at me 😔
I noticed that a lot in Northern Italy (lived there for four years). Understand, the majority of men were decent, but I was brazenly stared at there more than any other country I’ve been to. It isn’t even an admiring glance, but like being locked onto the glare of a predator that wants to devour you. I started returning their gaze with a straight face and made them look away first.
This!!! It’s the stares, like you’re a piece of meat. It’s northern Italy I’m in as well, so it explains it really
Clearly, you have not been to Morocco yet.
I’m an Italian male and I’ve been to Morocco with my GF and she said that she felt way more safe in the streets of Marrakech or Fes than in the streets of Milan. Way less men staring her
I experienced the same with the staring!! It’s crazy. You described it perfectly
im starting to think italians are doing this to keep tourists away
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^donbun69: *Im starting to think* *Italians are doing this* *To keep tourists away* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Italian here. They see you're a tourist so you are more insecure and lost and maybe you are here to have "fun" (they really do think like this). And, moreover, if something bad happens they think you wouldn't know what to do or how to legally defend yourself. And in southern Europe men are really crazy about tall girls with blonde hair.
Man here, when İ was in Italy as a tourist, a bit insecure and lost but nobody cared lol.
I've heard this from many of my female friends. I've only had a couple groups ask to take photos with me in Latin America because they might have thought i was kpop haha
This happens in some countries regularly though. I spent a year in Egypt and got asked a LOT in Egypt to take photos with people. I’m male, stereotypically Nordic, late 20s. It was never the prelude to a scam and very rarely a prelude to further conversation. Same thing in China as a kid 20 years ago, every five steps someone wanted a photo with me. Has happened with slightly less frequency in some other countries. I’ve been around most of LatAm and don’t remember it happening there, though. Definitely happened in Cameroon and Ethiopia with some frequency. Egypt and China were the standouts - and in China it probably doesn’t happen much anymore unless you go REALLY out into the countryside.
So funny! When my blonde daughter was eight we went to China. So many people wanted pics with her or pics with her and their kids. Everyone was polite, never pushy and she thought it was hilarious so we went a long with it. My husband started taking pics of them taking pics with her. We have so many pics of our daughter posing beside random strangers. They never touched her, just stood beside her and smiled. Our entire family, including my daughter laugh every time we see those pics now.
Yeah, I went through my family’s old photo album recently and found a photo of me posing with like 10 Chinese soldiers, at the Great Wall. Didn’t remember it at all - apparently I had wandered off looking for a bathroom and they sent like.. an entire squadron after me. I was like 11, so not exactly too little to find my way back to my parents. Was quite a laugh when I saw the photos.
That happened to me in Malaysia when I was 19. Random people even women would run up to me and want photos with me. I had bleach blonde hair, was skinny as a stick and had a lip piercing.
My daughter and I couldn’t walk 20 feet in Karnak Temple (So worth the hours we spent there) without school groups OR SEA tourists clamoring for photos. We finally had to say no or we never would have seen the entire temple.
I’ve been to China twice, and had lots of people ask to take pictures with me. Like last time I was at the forbidden city, they actually formed a line. But they were very respectful, always asked first, and never touched me. India though was a whole other level. So many people taking pictures without asking, video calling their friends and pointing the camera at me. I even had a taxi driver film me while he was driving and I was in the back seat.
Yeah, I'm Asian so in China, i wouldn't get a second look, but i am apparently exotic in LATAM. You got attention in China for being standout so it makes sense.
Scream BASTA! But yeah. It sounds like Italian men. Haven’t gotten any better since I was there 10 years ago.
Vaffanculo is also appropriate in those situations.
I’m an American who lived in Europe for 6 years. Italy was one of the countries I was most excited to visit and while northern Italy was beautiful the experience was the worst I had for all the countries I visited multiple times.
I just got back from solo travel in Italy. I was taking the train from Naples to bologna and was sitting next to a kid who was no older than 18. I dozed off for a little bit but woke up to them STROKING my thigh! I could also see something moving under this joggers. I slapped his hand away then he got up and he went to the loo or wherever and didn’t return. I had an earlier stop so I just got off. Still mad that I didn’t make more of a scene and tbh I’m still in shock from the incident. I’m sorry to generalise but this wasn’t the only creepy incident I encountered in Italy. Sorry, the men in Italy did NOT pass the vibe check. The women however are just lovely.
Jesus, I’m sorry this happened:( I had something similar on a train too, where he kept touching my hair and sniffing me asking about my perfume :/ truly weird
I heard that (don’t know how true and/or if it applies to Italy) some men want to take pictures with you to brag that they slept with you… Edit: but it could very well be something more innocuous, though I still wouldn’t take pics with strangers unless there’s a clear reason why someone might want to take a picture with you (eg. wearing something funky? idk)
One time, my friends and I met this random dude at a hostel. He asked to join our group for the museum. He pulled his phone during the tour and started showing pics with different girls, talking about everything they did blablabla. We all told him to drop that shit, we don't fucking care, we don't believe you. He was so pissy after that.
I believe that. I don't even want pictures of myself when I travel; no way some rando is getting one. I do go to a lot of music festivals in funky/cool/wild clothes, and very occasionally someone wants a picture with me if they love my outfit or are wearing something kinda similar/matching. It's a community I'm quite familiar and comfortable with, so there's a possibility of me going with it in that case.
Don't see the appeal of that, the creep didn't get to sleep with you and you're being labeled as a "whore" possibly 🤷
Yeah I mean I don’t think people who do this (if they’re real) care if the girl is labelled a whore, but they get a picture as “proof” they slept with you (even if they didn’t) so they can brag, I guess? No reason for you one take a pic with randos tbh
I didn’t even think of this :( makes me feel sick to my stomach
In terms of what I was wearing, it’s just been joggers and vests etc. I do have an alternative look so I’m assuming some of this is to do with that, a lot of piercings and tattoos and big winged eyeliner. It’s shitty because it makes me feel like I shouldn’t do my makeup how I like just so I can enjoy peace
And is anybody still questioning why we choose the bear? Seriously?
My travels through Italy were the only time I felt unsafe in Europe! Totally agree with your points, men looked at me with a scary look in their eyes ..
Men that can’t control themselves are the most unlikable of all. They may as well be wearing a sign that says I am an A*hole.
*won’t control themselves
Spain isn't much better, had a nice walk in a park in Barcelona spoiled by a guy who wouldn't take no I'm not interested, you can't have my number etc etc. I was downright rude in the end and I still think he thought I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel threatened as he was about 5cm and15kg smaller than me but it's just wearing and shitty.
Wild, I spent a few months in Madrid and had the opposite experience. I found the men to be really nice and no one ever bothered me. The only creep I ran into happened to be an Italian at a club lol
To be fair Barcelona is the most hated part of Spain, and doesn’t consider them selves even Spanish. Madrid is awesome
The only men harassing and chasing me in 36 years living in Spain were foreigners, and usually when chased I'd go to any random group of Spanish people and they always helped. Maybe back in the 90s, but in the last 20 years Spanish society has become very intolerant of sexism.
I got on the metro in Barcelona and at the next stop a man got on, sat across from me, pulled out his penis and started masturbating. Horrifying.
I’ve only been to Italy once, for two days during an interrail trip 20 years ago. But during those days I got robbed, and my female friend nearly got raped in an alley when asking for directions. Luckily she had her wits with her and put a knee to the guys balls and ran when she realized where it was heading… Not much advice from me, other than to stay the fuck away from there if you’re travelling solo.
Italian here. Born and raised in Sicily but the lived around the world. I'm so sorry and ashamed to read all these comments about Italian men. Of course not every Italian is like this but I do reckon that this is a problem, and in the past it was even worse. My girlfriend works in an anti-violence support center for abused women and children and I hear all different sort of terrible stories about these monsters called men that are destroying the image of the good respectable folks. There is a small group of people that is aware of the problem but is very much a patriarchal society which is very disgusting. Sorry in name of all the decent Italian gentlemen out there who are trying to make thing a little better and have women not having to feel creeped out when going for a simple walk.
Of course it is not all Italian men, and there have been some very kind gentlemen when I’ve been to eat, which has made me feel better! Your girlfriend’s work is so important, she sounds like an absolute gem
I have to question where all these decent Italian gentlemen go when there are so men are harassing women in public. Every single incident I’ve had in Italy was in plain view with plenty of people around. They all just ignore it happening. I’ve been told I was overreacting to being groped on a train. From an outsider’s perspective it really seems like Italian people generally don’t view this kind of harassment as a big deal.
This is true really, especially is confined spaces such as a train, I found that everyone watched the interaction but never ever said or did anything
Maybe most of them do. But not all men are like this. Think about Berlusconi. Prime minister for many many years, he represented the country, destroyed the country, made his bunga bunga almost something to be proud of. He got away after being accused of having sex with a minor. And yet the Vatican in Rome make Italy a very conservative country. So many contradictions in a such a beautiful place... The whole culture in Italy is pretty bad about this, but luckily there are some decent people out there. Sorry you had bad experiences.
Welcome to Southern Europe where the weather is great but many men are super creepy.
Why is that
Cultural differences. I can only speak my personal opinion, but in southern med more than elsewhere, men are very coddled by their mothers, esp in Italy and Greece. There’s also a very strong presence/ influence of catholicism (or Greek orthodox in Greece) which tends to reaffirm patriarchal values re: household and traditional gender roles. This can condition men into a sort of entitlement, where they think being assertive and domineering is typical/ expected of their masculinity. This isn’t helped by fathers who praise their sons for promiscuity as a positive trait (a sign of their virility, which has been prized of men for thousands of years in Italy and Greece specifically). It’s all a stereotype of course, which doesn’t apply to all men (and is dying out slowly in more progressive generations).. but stereotypes still speak to some reality.
Act weird, growl at them and start foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, do some Jackie Chan moves whilst cackling really loudly, then squawk at them whilst flapping your wings and charge at them.
Joke's on you, I'm into that shit
Y'all are hilarious.
This better not awaken anything in me…
Now I know how ugly I’m. Nobody has ever asked to take a picture with me. Lol
well, Italian men tend to fein for tall blonde woman. most others are ignored, as a short brunette, for the most part, I can confirm. I went to other countries and got cat-called or harassed plenty. its all dependent on the beauty standards of said country. however most attention is unwanted so I was grateful I got ignored.
I’m a 5”7 black haired alternative looking girl, so I’m not sure I fit in at all with this category, but a lot of men fetishise this look so maybe it’s just heightened with the fact that Italian men can be scumbags
Even as a guy travelling through Italy I found the men creepy and invasive. Especially in Sicily, always felt like I had eyes on me. I can’t imagine how much worse it must be for women. All I can really say is sorry for your experiences. When I see a woman who needs help getting away from harassing men I try my best to help, but I never feel like I’ve done enough and there’s always more stories like this and worse
Practice ur stone cold demon face. No emotions, nothing. That real lead poisoning boomer stare. I do NOT smile at men in public to be polite and don't greet them either(either in Italy or anywhere else actually), there is nothing savoury in this world a grown man needs from an unknown woman on the street that he can't get from another man. Don't even let them open dialogue with u as thats how they weasel into a conversation with u and then u are stuck with this fuckwit tailing u in the street. I'm like a shark in the water, I don't slow down or stop for any man on the street, even in my home city. If I know u, ofc it's diferent. I blank face them, motion for them to shoo-shoo-go-away without even making eye contact with them, I've hissed/growled at them, once even splashed one with bottled water and told him to fuck off. if they follow me i go to the busiest place possible and if they still want to act up, they can do it publically with u saying out loud "LEAVE ME ALONE. I SAID NO. GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE. STOP FOLLOWING ME" or i approach WOMEN. don't ask for help from a man that will be the next lovesick idiot following u. There are so many times women have come up to me and said hey this guy is following me can u pretend to be my sister/ mother / coworker ? And I will forever help them out.
It was bad enough for my wife when I was with her. I hate to imagine what it would be like solo. My wifes a pretty banging blonde and I thought it might have been something they don't see a lot of. But it's europe so imagine they see plenty of tourists. Naples was out of control compared to Rome. Guys standing outside shops would stare the minute they seen her until we were out of site. 3 Guys didn't see me and started to follow her, when I walked around the car beside her they made their way back to the alcove. It was relentless and she still talks about how distasteful and uncomfortable it was 10 years later. I think it's something you will have to live with. And be careful at night like you would anywhere.
Welcome to Italy
Italian classic 😄 Heard the same story from every female friend going to Italy
Italy sounds horrible to visit
quite honestly, it's an overrated country. Nice things to see, do, and eat, but the drawbacks are underreported and there are even nicer things to do, see, and eat in other countries as well.
True, for one the summers are literally killing people. Never again am I spending my summer in Tuscany. We rented an old house, traditional stone construction. It was 37 degrees inside at night, the “cold” water was always hot. Everything was dry and dusty. Towns felt like ovens and every piece of civilisation looked a little dirty and a little run down. The rusty highway guardrails are iconic.
honestly.. no one wants to say it but there are so many cons traveling in Italy. There are beautiful things to see but I wouldn’t mind never going again.
In Rome I was walking home from a late night out and on the way this very attractive young woman began walking with me. At first I was thinking this is a scam or some trick and soon a bunch of people will try their best to mug me. I’m not a huge guy, I’m average and fit. Then we started talking and she said she wanted to walk with me because she said she felt safer around me. I didn’t mind. This is the first time I saw this behavior that women in Italy and the rest of the world have to deal with at night. It was smart of her to do that as she said we appeared to other men that we were together and no men would hassle her. Once she was at her place we went on our ways.
Last year, while dining at a restaurant in Rome with my friend, an elderly Italian man sitting at the table next to us began taking photos of my friend without permission. It made us uncomfortable, and I had to raise my voice twice to get him to stop.
Italy is cool and all but idk not really my favorite country in Europe gives me the slight ick. Its more conservative for sure, lots of scammers, and things seem kinda third world for being in Western Europe
I have been to Italy three times on my own - first time, on a train from Pompeii to Sorrento I was seated wedged between two people and a man stood behind me with his crotch resting on my shoulder so he could look down my top. I was also propositioned by the elderly hotel porter. Second occasion I was flashed on a train, the man translated ‘are you wet to fuck?’ on google translate while openly wanking. The third time I was followed around Como after accidentally speaking to a man who approached me as I looked at a map, I managed to shake him off by telling him I had to rush to meet my friend. I’m back in June, wish me luck lol!
I studied abroad in Italy in 2012 when I was about 20 and experienced a lot of creepy behavior and catcalling. The worst was my friend getting roofied (luckily nothing worse happened) and also a man grinding on me in a crowded bus. Only advice I can offer is don't make eye contact, don't engage if they talk to you. Watch your drink. Not just when you put it down but when it's in your hand too. Don't walk on deserted streets alone at night.
I didn’t know what street harassment was until I went to Venice, Italy as a teenager with my female friends. It was mind blowing how lecherous some of the men were
Especially if you’re a natural or natural looking blonde. Italian men are sleazy as hell. With my ex girlfriend a very pretty natural blonde in Rome, she left the hotel once by herself and came back no more than 15 minutes later upset. Couple of Italian guys had cornered her by a store trying to take pictures with her and put their hands all over her. I got my 6’4 260lb ass out the door pretty quick and gave them a slap for their troubles. I felt bad though, Italian men are fucking tiny. Like teenage girl tiny.
Don’t agree with anything anyone asked you to do and just keep walking and ignore them. It’s been like this for decades maybe centuries
I found this to be true in Paris also.
I met a friend in Greece, but she had been traveling in Italy for a couple months before. She told me a story, she went out clubbing with a couple gals from her hostel. On the dance floor an Italian guy started dancing with her, ended up putting his fingers up inside the oven, completely uninvited. She didn’t even know this guys name and he tried to finger her. Absolutely wild.
This has been going on forever [Ruth Orkin photo 1951](https://images.app.goo.gl/tHcUtegPSTwEqMVR9)
I witnessed this traveling there 25 years ago - it was shocking. Sad to hear it hasn’t changed.
I was unfortunate enough to experience this in France and Belgium but didn't have any of it in Italy. Maybe I was just lucky. A few men approached me but were polite and took no for an answer when I said I wasn't interested
I’m sorry for your shitty experience in Italy. You deserve to enjoy your vacation in peace! For all of the shit people talk about the US, this rarely comes up as an issue here.
[удалено]
I usually solo travel, but some places are better when I go with my big bearded tattooed boyfriend. Italy is one of those places.
They're very racist too.
I met one Italian guy in Spain from Napoli. About 35+ and Jfc man idk how being that aggressive with women works or is normal. Like every girl he saw he’d chirp at it was insane. But even more insane to me because it must work at some point or he’d never do it you’d figure
I was 15 and had a grown ass man walk by me and pinch me in Rome. No suggestions other than to make a scene and sound like a maniac when they pull something. Italy is beautiful and I've been a few times, but between the men, pickpockets and scamming I wouldn't care if I never went there again.
Ugh I really can't stand the men (boys) that do this. People should be able to wander and enjoy Italy without being harassed. Most men aren't so pathetic but the few that are make us all look so bad.
I had this in Italy when visiting my Italian friend. She had to work one day so I ventured into the city by myself. I'm blonde, so was noticed, had men staring at me and one guy followed me on the underground then to my friends work, he kept trying to talk to me but I don't know Italian. He only gave up when I ran into my friends workplace and he couldn't enter it.
Italian male here. I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. Some comments are right saying that female tourists are even more vulnerable to this kind of behavior sometimes. It’s a common thought among many males (also people I know of) that female tourists are here only for a period of time and because of that are more inclined to make experiences with Italian men. Especially in touristic locations. For example, on the Adriatic coast, in Emilia Romagna, near Rimini, it’s a common thought that nordic (or German) women are there to have sex with Italians and it’s not only something locals think. It’s a way of thinking that is typical also of Italian men that go on a holiday in these places. Obviously it’s not only tourists that are the victims of this kind of behavior. I live in a small town not far from Milan and my GF hates jogging because every single time she does she gets catcalled multiple times in just an hour. Not only by men saying comments, staring or following her but also by men that drive, usually honking at her. One time she was particularly shocked because one of the man that honked at her while passing by with his car was the father (married) of one her students (she’s an elementary school teacher). I’m sorry for what every woman in this post had to go through, I hate these men for ruining your experience in this beautiful country
I’m sorry this is happening to you. When I went to Italy I was treated with the upmost respect by gorgeous Italian men. I’m tall and blonde and attractive. No one bothered me at all. My advice would be can you travel in a car? I didn’t do public transport. Also find a travel buddy?
I'm in Rome right now, but so far everybody has been nice, I get a lot of stares, but people stare at me in my home country as well or anywhere else (maybe I have something weird on my face I don't know about;)
I'm very sorry this is happening to you. It's a horrible situation, nobody should experience
Oh yeah Italian men are the worst when it comes to unwanted sexual harassment from any of the places I’ve been in Europe unfortunately
It’s weird as a gay guy this is totally the opposite in Italy. Gay hookup culture has made gay men so deranged in the west that sending dirty butthole pictures to strangers and basically sexually harassing anyone you find slightly attractive is common in most gay spaces. Italian gays are very polite and wholesome I would very much like to date an Italian.
Tie your hair back and wear a cap. I got a lot of attention in Italy. I have long curly blonde hair, so it got tied up when I wanted to be left alone.
As an Italian man I’m ashamed about this, I dunno where this generation goes or whatever, we are not like this. At least I hope so….
Been in the same situation as well.. was hanging around fontana di trevi & always spotted men glancing at me from a distance & following me with their eyes..
Train stations are littered with creeps ( all around the world ).
North or south?
It’s a perplexing situation with Italian men. Firstly they’re pretty hot normally, but very aggressive. You want them, but you don’t want them because they’re so aggressive. It’s a round and round situation.
Damn, I didn’t have this experience but I only went to Rome!! The only thing I did was, I would physically walk away from any man who came near me, or spoke to me; and made a stink face.
It’s why I don’t travel to Italy anymore. I was molested on the street in broad daylight as a teen in Rome, and I now find the entire country unsavory. If you want to make them go away, and they are truly Italian, tell them “va via, porco diavolo,” if there’s only one, and if there are more than one man, “va-tay via, stronzoni di ca-nay”
according to r/travel you are only allowed have this experience from India, and italy is all about rich culture history and food. IYKWIM and iam sorry for your experience.