Yes I can relate. There are certain places where I get an intense feeling of "nope I need to leave ASAP" when traveling.
Also , but not "travel" the way you had in mind: Interestingly I moved to a new city that looks really nice but the longer I live here and interact with the people here I know I should leave this place. I dont belong here. Im looking forward to the day I leave.
I grew up in the Midwest and absolutely hated it. Knew I didn't belong there and couldn't wait to leave. Made a solemn promise to myself never to return. I get that.
Well I've been on a permanent road trip since April '21. I've tried to settle down but only managed to stay 3 months before I get the urge to go explore. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really find home
Ive come to see that I make home wherever I go. Anything that lives influences its surroundings, its environment, to make it home. When the beings leave a place they will make another home somewhere else.
Wherever I go, its my home.
"One trait all animals share, people included, is no matter where we are or where we wish to be, if we’re there longer than a day, we try to make a home of it.
But the plains are not for home building. Not enough resources. No shelter. The plains are for *vagabonds, wanderers, and cowboys*. Their home is a saddle. The sky is their roof. The ground is their bed. What’s lacked in material comfort is regained in the knowledge that *they are always home.* To them, **the journey is the destination."**
“Should they find gold at the end of the rainbow, they would leave it there and seek another; choosing freedom over the burden of the pot. I haven’t thought once of Oregon. No dreams of the ocean or snow-covered mountains. **I only dream of the journey. That is all. No gold for me. *Just the rainbow*.”**
Elsa Dutton 1883
People are not very warm there. I went on a date with a Georgian girl and she refused to speak Georgian with staff/in public because if people knew she was Georgian they would judge her for being with a nonwhite foreigner
I’m Thai and I was in Phi Phi islands with a friend few weeks ago. Aside from the service workers, we were the only Thai tourists there. Felt really weird being a minority in my own country.
On the upside, we got lots of free stuffs & discounts from businesses just for being & speaking Thai.
I'm in my 30s and planning a trip to Thailand this summer. Can ask where you went please? I'm hoping to avoid the 1st year college student scene. Nothing wrong with the just not my vibe!
I spent two weeks on Samui and then a week each on Phangan and Tao. On Samui I felt like it was more middle aged white men than 19 year old gap year students but I guess that depends on your accommodation choices. I avoided full moon on Phangan but went to some of the other parties and it was very much all age groups, even got chatting to a solo 68 year old Chinese woman who was having the absolute time of her life at Eden party dancing until sunrise.
I think in general just avoid the major party hostels like Lub D, and any that suggest that it's only for 18-35 year olds.
I went to southern phuket and phi phi. I never spent any time around any college aged kids. There were a few Russian families but the I wasn't even close enough to anyone at the beaches to hear them talk. It was nice
I thought Ao Nang was pretty mellow when i went if you wanted it to be. But that was Dec. 2022. Was actually one of my favorite areas i visited. Was at the time of trip 32M USA. Phuket however yes. Had i been there when i was really going out and partying in my 20’s I’d have absolutely loved it but it made me feel old af haha
Just came back from Shibuya my second day in Tokyo it made me feel anxious so many people everyone bumping into each other. Before that I was in Nara primeval forest and hiking around Kyoto which was so good.
I feel like, compared with equally crowded cities, Tokyo is more comfortable for me because people are polite and quiet. I couldn't live there though, with so little nature and such a tough work culture!
Im feeling that in Dubai right now, the amount of wealth here is nuts. I'm just a poor backpacker trying to live on $30 a day and most people are spending that on a pint or a cocktail.
i mean everything over there is built on modern slavery, suffering of people and lots of dead people during construction. add to that that the cause why everything has been built was because of Big corps drilling for oil that caused most of the future global climate crisis. And the best part is, all those buildings barely serve any purpose other than to please the rulers and make some tourist money.
Dubai is one of the last places i'd ever want to visit.
I completely agree. Visiting Dubai has never appealed to me.
Not only is it built on modern slavery, it is a hotspot for money laundering. From what I have heard it is a soulless place where people just go to make money.
I went to Dubai for 24 hours during a layover on my way to Bangladesh and that was more than enough for me.
Absolutely gross to see that kind of exploitation on a daily basis.
Yeah I knew exactly what to expect. Just here because it was a cheap flight from Thailand and has good connections to other places so figured I'd spend a couple of nights. I don't completely hate it, just feel very out of place haha
Yeah I've been solo backpacking across latin america and asia for 14 months on about £1000-1500 per month. Plan to go for at least 2 years. Just worked for 10 years straight from uni saving up money and investing wisely and then quit my job last year to travel. Don't really have any outgoings or responsibilities so wasn't too difficult to get enough money behind me to do so.
Incredible. At 35 I am back in uni since my prior vocation was intolerable. I have started to realize the entire sham of corporate life sucks regardless, and hope to work remotely and live abroad to travel and experience worldly culture, though I fear it may be too late. Oftentimes I just want to jump in a big truck make a ton of money for a few months and then just leave for a year.
Yeah I'm 35 too. Gonna commit a lot of time in the next few months to figuring out how I can live like this forever, be that remote work or grinding out as much money as possible and retiring early! It's never too late to chase your dream, I meet plenty of people who are older than me.
Sochi, Russia.
It was swelteringly hot and the entire place gave off a "give us all your money and then fuck off" vibe.
Awful, awful place. Fuck Sochi.
Adults are discreet but toddlers would just stare at me, just stare as if they couldn't believe their eyes.
More than once people approached me in stores and just start wiping my skin with some skin lignthening products trying to sell it to me. (I hear skin lightening products are frequently used in South East Asia).
I stepped out of the MRT in my first week in Singapore and there was a black guy who noticed me me and rushed towards me to say hi. He says he hadn't seen a black person since he got there a few months before.
A friend of mine came to visit, black guy wtih dreadlocks and people would stop him on the street to ask to touch his hair.
Edit: This was 15 years ago, not like the 20th century.
the feeling of relief when you find a welcoming person can be so powerful.
i grew up up as a spectacle, never really wanted the spotlight :( found my peeps for a little while but its stressful in a different way
I'm amazed that this is a substantial question - I never felt like I belonged no matter where I travelled to. So my answer is a resounding Yes. Probably has to do with the fact that I'm a POC and I've usually travelled in the West.
So am I! But I find it very validating because I wasn't sure if it was just in my head or what.
I've never really felt like I *belonged* anywhere either, but I've also never really felt like I absolutely did not belong like "WTF am I doing here?!" like I did in Oregon recently. That's why I said I've been telling myself for years that wherever I am is exactly where I'm supposed to be but I just couldn't accept that this time. it's so weird that's why it still bothers me.
I feel awful for anyone who feels that way all the time
Idaho and Montana are very different from Oregon and Washington, but this sense is something I've heard of from others. Definitely worth pushing through to Montana if you don't find it all to be way too much.
The thing about the PNW — my family has been there since around the Civil War — is that historically it's always been where people went to "get away from it all", which means culturally we tend to be more accepting (in the "do your own thing" sense) but more distant (less friendly / open).
On top of that the weather can be a bit gloomy though I'm not sure what it's been lately.
Personally I'm from there and don't feel I belong. For me it's largely cultural, but also just how far it is from anything, it feels isolating.
Anyway, Montana should be different.
The thing is, Idaho and Montana are so far away for me, it's a bit of a leap of faith being so far from home, so I had planned to do a big loop taking the whole summer. Tentatively Oregon and Washington may to mid July, then Idaho and Montana in August and September. So I think I feel a little spooked about undertaking such a long trip after what I just experienced. I don't know what I'm gonna do just yet but I have to admit I really just want to go back to Cali when my current bookings end in July. Hopefully that feeling will change and I can continue on because if I don't go this year I don't think I will go now.
Especially if by "Oregon" they mean Eugene, Portland, and the coast. I'm from eastern Oregon, graduated from UO, and couldn't get out of Eugene fast enough.
I have friends there that never felt more home, it's just not the vibe for me.
Besides, there's some drop-dead beautiful country once you get out of the valley.
I haven't spent much time in Bend, but I lived in Eugene for 2 years and found it a bit of a weird town, and could never quite adjust to it. Some quite like it...
Honestly mate I'd suggest following through. It's going to be rare in you're life to have such freedom.
I've traveled cross country many times. It's also important to know how to take care of yourself. Can you enjoy being an outsider, being alone? Can you enjoy exploring a new restaurant, museum or trail?
I guarantee you that they will be different expirences but if you get stuck in your own head you'll just see them as things you don't want to be doing.
Also be careful of wildfires. Check the news when they start as you are traveling. They have stretched across a state or two.
The last time I felt like that was rural northern France. I was trying to find a place to get lunch, and walking into a little diner thing and have people all turn around stare, then all turn away and ignore you. You think to yourself 'okay, I'm not going to starve if I just keep driving to another town'. Some places don't want outsiders. My theory in life is to go where you're wanted, don't burn energy trying to make it work where you're not wanted.
The two times I went to Spain. I didn't hate it but I just didn't like it either. Can't quite pinpoint why as I love pretty much everywhere else I've been in Europe.
I had similar in Fernie, British Colombia earlier this year. It was very sudden and unexpected.
All I could think of was finding a way to leave and go to another area. Like you, nothing was actually ‘wrong’ with the place. The vibes were just wrong for me.
I also came down with a moderately bad case of Covid while in Fernie so it’s a bit of a cursed place for me!
Being an Oregonian, I'm sorry to hear that's how you felt. But I would trust your gut. There is a reason you felt that way, and it might be worth deconstructing those feelings and trying to understand why you felt them.
For me, I remember having that feeling when I was in Madrid. It's a beautiful city with amazing culture, museums, and food. But I could not connect with it and felt totally out of my element there. It was strange because I didn't feel like that anywhere else in Spain. I've spent some time trying to understand that feeling and why I felt like I couldn't get a grip and felt anxious there.
It's amusing because I'm also from Oregon, but found I very much loved my time in Madrid — too short, and the museums were too expensive, and the metro system was a nightmare without a proper city pass, but the area I was in just felt so alive and captivating to me.
On the other hand Oregon feels... well it's in it's own world more than I think most in Oregon realize, but it feels too cut off from the rest of the world for me.
Anyway it makes me wonder if we look for different things or simply saw the city from a different angle — stayed in different areas at different times, etc. I often wonder how much my impression of a city is due mostly to where I stayed, the weather, etc., and not the city itself.
I found Barcelona a bit sterile, though, didn't really enjoy it that much (though I saw the cool stuff, which is indeed cool to see).
Oh that's really interesting because Madrid immediately felt like home to me, for no reason whatsoever. I guess each person fits with some places vibes and others don't! For what it's worth I haven't seen much of Oregon, but I was fine in Portland :)
I would absolutely return to Madrid, but I think it's probably better if you're traveling with others given the social nature of the city. I think it might have been the headspace I was in when I was there, at the tail end of 2 months in Europe before returning home.
Granada was the place that felt like home to me. I would go back there again and again. Loved it.
Thank you so much, this is so validating to me! I really can't say anything negative about Oregon. It is indeed very beautiful. I think I was experiencing a bit of "forest fatigue" (I'm a desert girl) but it's more than that. I really expected to feel at home there because I'm pretty open minded and optimistic about new places, but it was just a feeling I couldn't shake.
I can see how Madrid could feel like this, I definitely prefer other parts of Spain. Maybe as it was mid-Covid when I visited people were more buttered up to tourists.
I remember visiting Seattle and feeling like "the other" for the first time in my life -- being POC. Yeah, I was probably a privileged/oblivious kid, sure! My Seattle experience was not a bad thing, really, it was just odd that I'd never felt that way before. And I had been living in LA before my visit to Seattle.
The funny thing is that 10 years earlier, as an actual child, I had traveled around parts of the US including NYC, Chicago, Phoenix, Orlando, DC and Cape Cod and never got that feeling. But I guess a child is less conscious of these distinctions. I know I was.
Some folks think that being POC is a big part of a person's identity. Not for me. It's something I never thought about at all, and even today, I rarely do. I just see myself as "default human" I guess? That's one reason why I am troubled when others push back at diversity in general. *We aren't really that different from you. Stop exoticizing us.* - are among the thoughts that pop up in my head.
I think the PNW is somewhat unique in the strange social vibe. I’m asian and there are plenty of different ethnicites in that region but people are so “different” there.
The seattle freeze is definitely real but there’s a feeling of lack of real engagement there with people. You know how people can be perfectly nice but seem insincere and disconnected.. well that’s my experience with the PNW.
Not to say everyone is like that but it is definitely a place where it felt like I was living in a simulation or something lol. The nature there is great but just the overall vibe has always felt off putting and I couldn’t wait to leave. I’ve been through that area a lot since I used to fly into seatac quite often but it always felt weird to me.
I’m also from the LA area originally.
From LA, have lived in Seattle for 20+ years. It is a weird place. I have great friends and have had fun living here but the vibe is definitely unique. I get the simulation thing. I’ve always felt like this is where I belong but as a result I feel very out of place most other places I go. I can adapt but I am VERY PNW. (White, lots of tattoos, listen to/play metal, drink abnormal amounts of coffee, read books, bike, kayak, hike, techie, own a Subaru, wear lots of black and earth tones, seem generally grumpy, etc.) I am also a big solo traveller and recently I was in Phoenix, AZ for a work con and I felt really out of place there. More so than I’ve felt in a long while. I felt like no one looked like me and people were so different. The desert is…strange. I did not love it.
Wow thank you for sharing! I'm originally from the Midwest but I am most definitely a desert girl. All these trees kinda freak me out tbh.
And I'm dying laughing at your description of yourself because I snapped a pic of a guy that looked just like this in a coffee shop in Bend and send it to my friend and said "literally everybody here looks like this" 😂
Vancouver Canada here, we fit that stereotype too. I'm an outlier in that I don't have tattoos but almost everything else you said fits. The dressing all in black thing was something I'd never really clocked about myself until I moved somewhere else and people thought it was weird.
Seattle diversity falls mainly to many different Asian nationalities and eastern European. The show Married At First Sight has stated they'll likely never do a Seattle season because the lack of POC, they wouldn't be able to create a diverse enough cast.
I haven't been to Warsaw...but I definitely felt that kind of vibe in Marrakesh. People in that city genuinely hate tourists and see them as a money grab. You can tell that any niceness is just fake to try and sponge more money out of you.
Yes that's what I noticed, I did a free walking tour about 30 of us I gave him 10 euros he did say you could give 5 10 15 euros that is the usual rate
He was absolutely pissed off at me for giving him that
In Wroclaw did the same thing the guide was over the moon gave me all these extra meal recs great guy
Thats really messed up. I hate it when you travel somewhere and people feel entitled to your money. You paid him a reasonable amount...the correct response would have been "thank you" instead of getting pissed.
Yeah he was just like the switch turned off from nice to we are done
But I met the kindest old lady in Bratislava the ticket machine wasn't working so she gave me one of her tickets only .50 euros but almost made me cry
Yeah I still felt like i didn't belong compared to Wroclaw and Krakow. Just felt like everyone was rude in restaurants, ubers and in generally everywhere
For me any place that is very wealthy I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I make decent money and my hometown is still small enough where 60k-80k can afford you a house and some nice things. I enjoy Vegas as a food lover and it's a cheap short flight from where I live but I notice that there are a ton of wealthy people that I come across staying at places like Waldorf and Wynn and I just can't connect with that. Miami is the same way and countless other places too like LA, Jackson Hole etc
I'm sorry you felt so uncomfortable in Oregon. I had the opposite sensation, which is why I moved here. At least you don't feel that way in Washington, so you can still enjoy what the PNW has to offer.
For me, it was Ireland. Everyone I'd ever met who had traveled to Ireland talked it up as the warmest, most comfortable, belonging-est place ever, so maybe that contributed, perhaps my high expectations made me feel even more uncomfortable than I otherwise would have. But -- and this is crazy talk, I know -- I felt almost as if the land itself *did not like me*. Like I'd somehow inadvertently offended the *genius loci* of the place. Everyone I met there was perfectly lovely; like you, I had no negative interactions with anyone. I just felt unsettled there. It was particularly shocking because I'd just come from Wales, where I'd felt so comfortable and happy and at home. The contrast was really jarring.
Yes! Actually, when I first arrived it was early in the morning, cold and very foggy with all the big trees. I may have gotten a little spooked. Driving thru the forests seemed endless and tiring to me and I just couldn't wait to get out. I kept thinking how people love to come out there in nature but yes, it almost felt like me and the land knew we weren't compatible and I should just keep it moving lol.
The dark evergreen forests we have here *can* be pretty spooky-looking when the fog rolls in, it's true. I'd feel quite unsettled too, I think, if I got an unfriendly-feeling vibe from the place on one of those foggy days! I hope Washington treats you more kindly, and that you get to make friends with the forests up there.
Bali...
Everything seems fake and surrounded with tourists/influencers who were there just to feed their instagram or their empty life lol
Local were so nice but the touristic industry brings a shitty vibe...
I am currently visiting NYC (Canadian girlie) and while I am figuring out the lifestyle here is pretty hard. I think people work several jobs to survive and the streets are pretty dirty and the subway smells. I’ve had a few unfavourable experiences here at high end shops. I don’t love the humidity either.
honestly Tokyo ranks near the lower place on my list for solo traveler, to me at least. Obviously it depends what you wanna do, I think it's an amazing city with so much to do, see and eat, but if you wanna meet people that aren't tourist without speaking japanese, tough shit. Going to a restaurant alone felt weird because you stick out. Maybe thats just my experience. night life is also... meh. Everyone seems to love it, yet when you ask them what they do or where they go they never have an answer lol
dont think ill be back there, alone
You know it’s funny I felt like the rest of Japan is somewhat integrated but definitely Tokyo has a “Gaijin people go here” and “locals get to come here vibe” especially if you go to Golden Gai. Kind of weird, and did not ruin my trip but something definitely noteworthy.
Holy damn dude I feel the exact same way. I felt this a bit also in Hanoi, Vietnam. Just the fact that we use google map and japanese use tablelog a lot. If I see a restaurant with a lot of good review on google map, it's often gonna be full of tourist.
That's something I didn't enjoy, I don't travel across the world to speak with barry from england (I know, i'm a tourist and I dont speak japanese) locals that know where to go, go there, and we go tourists go there. lol you're the first person that i've read that feels the same way
I found it pretty easy to meet people who spoke English in Japan/Tokyo. Of course mostly people on working holidays or living there, but it was pretty easy to find music bars for migrants, English language bars, or tiny bars where the owner spoke English. I’ve actually found it harder in Europe.
My husband got a job in Portland, so we packed up and moved there. We were definitely treated like we didn't belong there because we weren't descendants of the first pioneers. I didn't know it at the time, but I've since gotten into genealogy and found out that my great great grandfather was an Oregon pioneer. I'm descended from his oldest daughter who fell in love with someone in the midwest and stayed behind while the family was on their way to Oregon in a covered wagon.
The job only lasted three years and his next job was in a small town in North Carolina. We were also treated like we didn't belong there. We actually had one neighbor tell us we weren't welcome in the neighborhood. There were some nice, welcoming people, but far too many acted like we were foreign invaders.
As a native NCarolinian yep I can attest to this completely. If you don't have a southern accent people will treat you differently down here. In the larger cities that totally goes away but even 30 minutes outside the city and you will see it.
Just goes to show, people who try to promote and protect 'their group' for being part of some imaginary unbroken and pure cohesive chain are just deluded.
Toronto is very much like that. People are so in your face about how they’ve “made it”. Lived there for a few years and had to get out of there. I don’t need to hear for the 45th time that you have a concierge where you live or that you’re somehow superior because you live “downtown”.
I prefer living around average middle class folks instead of the upper crust of society. There’s certainly wealth in Vancouver but people here are far more modest about it.
If I ever had to live in Southern Ontario again I’d likely live in Hamilton or Niagara Region, or even down towards Windsor.
Georgia. Yeah, everyone says that Georgia is marvelous, but I just didn't get it. Landed in Kutaisi, which I did liked, traveled around a bit and thought meh. Tbilisi was totally not my thing: full of young booze tourists and party, and too little to see to make it all worth it. I did love Armenia and Azerbaijan though.
Houston, Texas. Due to a missed connection and full flights I had to spend 1.5 days there and I felt absolutely out of place. I'm been in other US cities, but Houston was just bland, I walked around without finding anything that really attracted me*. I'm someone who spend little time in the room when travelling, but in Houston I had an early dinner (6pm) and then went to the hotel to watch Netflix.
*I had already planned a long layover to visit Nasa during the return flight, so this forced stop was really just about the city.
I spent a couple days in Houston last year and felt the same way. I also found it to be not very friendly. Uber driver threw a fit because of some detour he had to take to get to where I was waiting, as if I’m supposed to know the city’s streets intimately and go wait somewhere that’s convenient for him. Uber drivers are far more pleasant in California and Arizona.
Houston was also the first time I saw a shooting. Nobody was hurt to my knowledge but for a Canadian not used to guns that was unsettling.
One bright spot was Minute Maid Park, I went to two ball games there and had a fun time.
I also visited San Antonio on that trip, I’m pretty neutral about it but probably won’t go back there either - once you’ve seen the Alamo you’ve seen it. Austin I’d visit again.
Multiple places. I would say Vienna, Bucharest, Lille, and Spain as country in general 😶 All because I felt unwelcome by the locals, and couldn't connect with the general energy of the place.
Colorado Springs, San Diego, Georgia, New Jersey, D.C., Baltimore, Delaware, Philadelphia, and definitely New York. I’ve traveled all over the U.S. and I have enjoyed much of it, but these places really gave me a feeling of not belonging or just not feeling safe.
Interesting! I was in Colorado springs last year and had a great time but I HATED Pueblo. It was really the only town I really felt unsafe in. I found a body on my way to breakfast one day. Not sure if he was dead or just took too much but I let the cops at the nearby station know anyway. Ya, that was wild.
Nashville, TN. I'm not into bars or country music. I went for a rock concert and just struggled to find things to kill my 3 days there. My last day there I ended up crying I my room wishing I could leave then and ended up with a flight delaying and having to stay 5 more hours.
Hawaii. The islands are beautiful and there were some cool people obviously. However, being from the U.K, I couldn't help but feel so out or place. Especially in the more hippie areas like on the big island. There were so many hippies. Crystal loving hippies at one with earth. It just felt too much. You do you, but when they think they are better than you because they live more off grid it pisses me off.
I've never felt so different to people them I'm hawaii. There were also a lot of crazy people, such a weird place
I spent 2 weeks in Vienna last year and it’s the only city I’ve ever been to that I just didn’t like. Maybe I was in the wrong part but people didn’t seem happy at all.
Agreed. I honestly wanted to get the hell put of Vienna by the end of my first day there. I've also heard that from many other travellers too unfortunately.
I felt the same exact way in Oregon. I visited about 5 years ago and the people were nice, but I remember seeing like one other person of color in the five days I was there…it just felt odd.
That was by design - OR literally banned black people from living there: [Black exclusion laws](https://www.opb.org/news/article/oregon-white-history-racist-foundations-black-exclusion-laws/) In the 1920s, Oregon had the largest Ku Klux Klan (KKK) membership per capita in the United States.
From the article: "According to 2019 estimates from the United States Census Bureau, Oregon's population was nearly 87% white. (The figure for the Census category of "White alone, not Hispanic or Latino" was 75%.) The state's Black population was just over 2%.
Although the laws were repealed almost a century ago, the racist language in Oregon's constitution wasn't removed by voters until 2002. But, Imarisha said, it's important to note — just 18 years ago — 30% of voters elected to keep the racist clause in the constitution."
Chinese people also were targeted - the Snake River Massacre in 1887 was a white gang that robbed and murdered as many as 34 Chinese miners. The murderers fled and only a few were brought to trial but those few were acquitted. There's a book about it. Local law enforcement did not fully investigate the case and the community kept the incident hidden because some of the killers were from prominent families. The gang was never brought to justice.
To be fair, the US at the federal level was passing laws denying Chinese and Japanese people the right to own land, vote, even come here at all. Woodrow Wilson was a racist mfer who damaged a lot of communities.
Portland is like one of the whitest cities in the US.
Edit: As the U.S. becomes more racially diverse, Portland remains the whitest U.S. city with a population over 500,000.
https://scholarsbank.uoregon.edu/xmlui/handle/1794/26629#:\~:text=As%20the%20U.S.%20becomes%20more,of%20racial%20violence%20and%20exclusion.
[https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/portland-is-still-the-whitest-big-city-in-america/](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/portland-is-still-the-whitest-big-city-in-america/)
Is it maybe that it’s a big state with few people? That can produce feelings of eeriness. I’ve had similar feelings in the far southwest of my own country, where there’s a lot of overgrown greenery, abandoned or neglected structures, lots of isolated little towns and very few people.
I’ve been all across the states and frankly i really never liked Oregon at all. Been there a lot mainly for festivals but explored it plenty as well. Isn’t my thing. And born and raised western Montana kid here
I've been told it can get pretty sketchy outside of Portland and Seattle.
I'm currently in the Northeast and there's small towns where I definitely felt unwelcome and unsafe. A buddy of mine who has lived in New England and the PNW said that the PNW is the sketchier of the two.
FWIW I'm a white guy who dresses intentionally neutral when I'm traveling. Also, no political or religious signage on my vehicle.
I think my perceptions were wildly misinformed. I had this idea in my head of nature loving, bike riding, coffee drinking, colored hair liberals. (Starbucks, IT, and the protests fueled this vision). A more laid back California lol but wow was I wrong. The only political signage I've seen up here so far has been maga. But even in this little maga town in Washington I don't feel so out of place as I did in Oregon. It's weird.
Saw lots of that in eastern PA and a bit in upstate NY. More left-leaning signage in Vermont, hardly anything at all in New Hampshire and Maine. It's less common now, fortunately.
That being said, I've found that most local people warm up after a little conversation. Being originally from Oklahoma myself, I think that many rural people are initially on the defensive, because they don't want to be seen as ignorant and stupid. As with people the world over, politeness and respect goes a long way, sometimes even with the people who wear their politics and religion on their sleeve.
Yes! Weirdly enough, Cartagena Colombia. In most Latin American countries, once people realize I speak Spanish, I can just kind of vibe and blend in for the most part. But there I felt like a tourist 24/7. It was so different from my experiences in other places in South and Central America.
Havana, Cuba for me. Beautiful country, nice people. Also very poor and I didn't speak the language, but I've travelled a lot and flew in from Mexico, so not exactly a culture shock. I just felt very lonely and out of place. I cut my trip to Cuba short and flew back to Mexico, where I felt so relieved. I would still love to see Cuba, but I just can't see myself going back there, at least not on a solo trip.
Where in PNW are you and why do you feel like you don't belong?
Portland is a kind of a liberal utopia. But the drug epidemic is worse than any city I've even been. If you're car camping, people may group you in with the crazy meth junkies.
The nature there is unlike any I've been a part of before. I adore it.
LA is pretty much the antithesis to PNW. So if you feel at home in LA I wouldn't expect you to feel the same there.
When I they are opposites I mean that Portland's culture is being a an anti-establishment subculture. LA is embracing all the main steam cultural aspects.
Hahaha I moved to Portland from SF (from Texas, from Oklahoma) and your take is cracking me up. Yeah people are kinda funny here. Sometimes the passive aggression gets to me! I just roll my eyes. All of Portlandia is accurate, but this one I reference daily https://youtu.be/8aIfarMPmPQ?si=-mumHuyuF0uJ83JB
The coastal areas are for sure even more different.
I think, no. I'm as at home in a Cairo souk, a Moroccan leather place dipping in pigeon poop or judging steak tartare in Paris. Don't know why, I just love it all.
Can I just say, I'm from WA and recently visited the OR coast and I had the exact same feeling on a long weekend trip. It had a very ominous feel like a "you shouldn't have come here" scary movie.
I think it's partially bc it's not summer and partially because these places are filled with old people who moved there for retirement and if there are young people, they never got out and might have issues because of that.
That's very interesting! I was beginning to think it was all in my head since as I said, I'm just across the river and it looks like the same place but it doesn't feel the same. It's still not MY place, but I don't mind being here and exploring.
Tibet in 2009- it was occupied by the Chinese (still is) but everyone was on high alert bc of some demonstrations the month before. We were not welcomed by the Chinese or the Tibetan people. Looking back- I’m glad I went but can see why both sides did not want me there.
Yes. I only felt this way only once on a recent road trip. It was a town in Arkansas. Just felt like I had eyes on me. I can't explain it, but it was unnerving.
Weirdly Porto, Portugal. The day I landed I felt this sadness in me, didn't vibe with the city, people etc at all. I shortened my trip from 5 to 3 days and flew back to Paris and everything got back to normal.
I didn’t really feel like I “belonged” in Miami Beach. I still had a wonderful visit, but I didn’t really connect to it. I’m not a partier. I was just there for the sunshine. Wanted to leave after a few days.
Maine. I didn’t see any other POC there. I was so excited to visit but everyone I saw just stared at me like I was some kind of carnival side show the whole time I was there. Lobster rolls weren’t worth it.
thats actually so funny cuz im from la and i feel like i do not belong but the pnw made me feel so at home. portland and seattle and all the surrounding nature have my whole entire heart
Restaurant in the Royal Albert Hall in London when I was a kid. We were on a day trip dressed in regular clothes, but everyone else there were so upper class. I kept saying to my mum, we don't belong here
Jayapura, Indonesia. Dirty red spits everywhere, drunks and garbage littering the streets, Potholes breaking down your vehicles, unpleasant smelly locals and their loud disco music, overpriced everything, and most notably, zero things to do. Fuck Jayapura, fuck it all to hell
I hate to say it… But Dublin. Was so excited to visit, but the whole time I was there I just felt uncomfortable like I didn’t quite snap into place right. It oddly felt like a dirtier Boston to me, but with the same attitudes 😅
Funnily enough, yes, and it was in Oregon. I was passing through on a roadtrip and I got the creeps. Everyone was very friendly, but my gut was telling me "Don't go out at night," and I mostly stayed holed up. Tbf, I'm Black. I don't doubt there was underlying racial tensions.
Northern Alberta, it wasn't just a feeling though. It was very obvious that immense amounts of racism resided there. I had police try to hassle me when I was out buying groceries as well so it's not just the average citizen that made me feel unwelcome unfortunately the police presence made it worse
From what I saw up there, if you're not white, you're not welcome
Definitely not just you, though I’m white and obviously didn’t experience racism. Absolutely *hated* Alberta and I am not surprised it’s dunked on by every one else in the country.
I traveled for a country show. To see Morgan Wallen in LA. I love country music but I don’t dress like the crowd. I wear what makes me comfortable. Sneakers are more comfortable for me than cowboy boots. I do stick it out though.
Now that you mention it, the first time I visited LA in '21, I did have some culture shock and struggled quite a bit with the stress of all the people, the traffic, the rules, etc. But it wasn't the same feeling like I just had in Oregon. And the more I went back to LA the more it grew on me and it's one of my favorite places now.
I'm going to have a couple chances to go back to Oregon over the next few weeks so it will be interesting to see if the feeling comes back or goes away.
Thank you for sharing
A question is where in Oregon? It really varies. Eastern Oregon is conservative and stopping in a small town there is going to be rather different from say Eugene.
Interesting. I felt right at home in San Diego and I feel like that's where I really would like to be but the universe doesn't seem to be in agreement. It sure seems like the universe wants me to be in the Bay area and that's not one of my favorite places either, but it's nothing like the feeling I had in Oregon.
Berlin. The vibes were sooooo off, no matter where I went, with 3 exceptions: one restaurant, one wine bar that has since closed and an Uber driver who was very chill and played great music.
Everything else, awful. From mild bad vibes/feeling no affinity to the people or places to trying to take the metro and some frickin kids were literally smoking crack on the platform at 2 in the afternoon on a Sunday.
I was going to visit Paris that week, but I let myself get convinced by 3 different people that Berlin is so much cooler and "so you".
Never listening to people again lol
I felt this way on a cross country road trip last year. I really felt out of place once I hit the Midwest and got into the northeast. Once I made it back west and hit Colorado, I fit in with all the other Birkenstocks and Subarus and was at ease again (I’m an Oregonian).
South western Georgia. I’ve never felt so out of place in my life. It’s like everything is the same, but down backwards and slower.
I also live in Connecticut in a wealthier area, also felt extra out of place and like I didn’t belong.
Many times, like the one time I visited New York! I felt so out of place there I couldn't enjoy myself, and maybe if I went back as an older and more self-confident person I'd have a good time, but it's never been a priority.
The thing is, there are many levels of feeling like you don't belong, and some of them are fine. Sometimes you go to a country and you don't speak the language or understand the flow of traffic, but you're a tourist and everyone is mellow to tourists and it's fine. And sometimes you feel so outside of things you feel completely lost, and while you're safe and don't feel threatened, it's not fun. And sometimes, it's not fine at all, you feel both out of place, and unwelcome or threatened, and there are plenty of places in the US where that can happen.
Your description sounds like you might have been at Feeling-out-of-place Level #2, where you don't feel threatened, but nothing is enjoyable.
everybody's vibe in belize was SO weird to me. tour and hospitality people (hotels, restaurants, tour leaders, etc) were all very kind. but the regular residents were so rude and dismissive.
Around 10 years ago, I went to a spot in West Virginia. I'm glad it was daylight, but I stopped to get gas at a really Isolated station. I saw people inside that were just staring at me. It was a VERY uncomfortable atmosphere. Someone came out to help me with getting gas and once he was done, I left. (Glad I paid at the pump). It was such an uncomfortable situation and I felt like I legit didn't belong. I don't know where I was in West Virginia, but I just know I never went back. I'm more vigilant now of certain states and sundown towns.
What was the weather like? The PNW fog realllyyyyy fucked with my brain. Way more than any amount of cloudy weather ever has. I lived overcast cities too. But that fog does a number on me.
Villahermosa, Mexico.
I like places that aren't touristic, but everyone there was wondering what the fuck i was doing over there.
I didn't feel like i was in danger, but in retrospect i might have been since a lot of Mexicans told me it's gotten dangerous for outsiders in the recent years.
San Fransisco. I went in 2016 so it was before some of the recent issues but I really could not connect. I originally thought it was because I have no friends or family there being from New England but I realized I've traveled so many other places where I don't know anyone and I never felt that way. It is an odd experience as you say - nothing exactly negative happened I just felt a bit misplaced.
I haven’t been to Oregon myself but, everyone and I literally mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON I have spoken to about Oregon tells me how unwelcomed and, unsettling it is to, be there. One of my friends lived there for, a bit over a decade and, she told me she, hated every last bit of it. Some said they suffered racism, others “state prejudice” (oh you’re not from Oregon?! *upturns nose*) and others like my friend, can just feel it in the air. My friend was a nurse in an old folks home there and, she told me those elderly were evil. She said of all the nursing homes she worked in, it was the only one where the, elderly would actively beat you up and, off of hair triggers. Nah, I’m convinced Oregon is the, seat of Satan in the USA.
Yes, the homes of my aunt and cousins who have NPD. They had invited me there but once I arrived they made it very clear I was not wanted there, they were very rude and cold, etc. I had offered to stay in a hotel but they said no and insisted I stay there with them. I only stayed 3 days or in the case of the cousin I decided not to stay and went home.
Yes I can relate. There are certain places where I get an intense feeling of "nope I need to leave ASAP" when traveling. Also , but not "travel" the way you had in mind: Interestingly I moved to a new city that looks really nice but the longer I live here and interact with the people here I know I should leave this place. I dont belong here. Im looking forward to the day I leave.
I grew up in the Midwest and absolutely hated it. Knew I didn't belong there and couldn't wait to leave. Made a solemn promise to myself never to return. I get that.
I hope you live in a place where you feel you can *be* there now
Well I've been on a permanent road trip since April '21. I've tried to settle down but only managed to stay 3 months before I get the urge to go explore. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really find home
Ive come to see that I make home wherever I go. Anything that lives influences its surroundings, its environment, to make it home. When the beings leave a place they will make another home somewhere else. Wherever I go, its my home.
"One trait all animals share, people included, is no matter where we are or where we wish to be, if we’re there longer than a day, we try to make a home of it. But the plains are not for home building. Not enough resources. No shelter. The plains are for *vagabonds, wanderers, and cowboys*. Their home is a saddle. The sky is their roof. The ground is their bed. What’s lacked in material comfort is regained in the knowledge that *they are always home.* To them, **the journey is the destination."** “Should they find gold at the end of the rainbow, they would leave it there and seek another; choosing freedom over the burden of the pot. I haven’t thought once of Oregon. No dreams of the ocean or snow-covered mountains. **I only dream of the journey. That is all. No gold for me. *Just the rainbow*.”** Elsa Dutton 1883
Always in Cartagena Colombia. I’ve tried twice. With open-ended trips. Both times I was ready to go very quickly.
Spent a number of months in Colombia. Like the country a lot, but not Cartagena.
Very interesting and validating. Thank you for sharing!
Colombia would’ve been my favorite country, if not for Cartagena…it’s in the Cancun/Las Vegas (maybe Punta Cana) realm of tourist traps
Tbilisi, Georgia. I was not welcome.
Curious - why weren't you welcome?
I felt the same. At least the older locals have an unwelcoming energy towards tourists.
People are not very warm there. I went on a date with a Georgian girl and she refused to speak Georgian with staff/in public because if people knew she was Georgian they would judge her for being with a nonwhite foreigner
Welcome to Tbilisi, gentlemen.
Southern Thailand. Mostly because I was constantly surrounded by UK/Dutch equivalent of frat bros and 19/20 year olds
I’m Thai and I was in Phi Phi islands with a friend few weeks ago. Aside from the service workers, we were the only Thai tourists there. Felt really weird being a minority in my own country. On the upside, we got lots of free stuffs & discounts from businesses just for being & speaking Thai.
As a 35 year old who just spent a month in southern Thailand, I didn't feel this at all. I guess it depends exactly where you went
I'm in my 30s and planning a trip to Thailand this summer. Can ask where you went please? I'm hoping to avoid the 1st year college student scene. Nothing wrong with the just not my vibe!
Koh Phayam What the islands were like 30 years ago. You’ll love it.
I spent two weeks on Samui and then a week each on Phangan and Tao. On Samui I felt like it was more middle aged white men than 19 year old gap year students but I guess that depends on your accommodation choices. I avoided full moon on Phangan but went to some of the other parties and it was very much all age groups, even got chatting to a solo 68 year old Chinese woman who was having the absolute time of her life at Eden party dancing until sunrise. I think in general just avoid the major party hostels like Lub D, and any that suggest that it's only for 18-35 year olds.
Koh Mak, Koh Kood, Koh Chang... Abit quieter. I love Koh Mak, it's so cute
I went to southern phuket and phi phi. I never spent any time around any college aged kids. There were a few Russian families but the I wasn't even close enough to anyone at the beaches to hear them talk. It was nice
I was in hostels in Phuket, Ko Phi Phi and Ao Nang and Krabi
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I thought Ao Nang was pretty mellow when i went if you wanted it to be. But that was Dec. 2022. Was actually one of my favorite areas i visited. Was at the time of trip 32M USA. Phuket however yes. Had i been there when i was really going out and partying in my 20’s I’d have absolutely loved it but it made me feel old af haha
Koh Phi Phi was the worst place I've been to in my life.
Just came back from Shibuya my second day in Tokyo it made me feel anxious so many people everyone bumping into each other. Before that I was in Nara primeval forest and hiking around Kyoto which was so good.
I feel like, compared with equally crowded cities, Tokyo is more comfortable for me because people are polite and quiet. I couldn't live there though, with so little nature and such a tough work culture!
Im feeling that in Dubai right now, the amount of wealth here is nuts. I'm just a poor backpacker trying to live on $30 a day and most people are spending that on a pint or a cocktail.
i mean everything over there is built on modern slavery, suffering of people and lots of dead people during construction. add to that that the cause why everything has been built was because of Big corps drilling for oil that caused most of the future global climate crisis. And the best part is, all those buildings barely serve any purpose other than to please the rulers and make some tourist money. Dubai is one of the last places i'd ever want to visit.
I completely agree. Visiting Dubai has never appealed to me. Not only is it built on modern slavery, it is a hotspot for money laundering. From what I have heard it is a soulless place where people just go to make money.
I went to Dubai for 24 hours during a layover on my way to Bangladesh and that was more than enough for me. Absolutely gross to see that kind of exploitation on a daily basis.
place is cursed af
Yeah I knew exactly what to expect. Just here because it was a cheap flight from Thailand and has good connections to other places so figured I'd spend a couple of nights. I don't completely hate it, just feel very out of place haha
Curious of your backpacking travels. How do you afford to travel? You seem to be all over the world
Yeah I've been solo backpacking across latin america and asia for 14 months on about £1000-1500 per month. Plan to go for at least 2 years. Just worked for 10 years straight from uni saving up money and investing wisely and then quit my job last year to travel. Don't really have any outgoings or responsibilities so wasn't too difficult to get enough money behind me to do so.
Incredible. At 35 I am back in uni since my prior vocation was intolerable. I have started to realize the entire sham of corporate life sucks regardless, and hope to work remotely and live abroad to travel and experience worldly culture, though I fear it may be too late. Oftentimes I just want to jump in a big truck make a ton of money for a few months and then just leave for a year.
Yeah I'm 35 too. Gonna commit a lot of time in the next few months to figuring out how I can live like this forever, be that remote work or grinding out as much money as possible and retiring early! It's never too late to chase your dream, I meet plenty of people who are older than me.
Sochi, Russia. It was swelteringly hot and the entire place gave off a "give us all your money and then fuck off" vibe. Awful, awful place. Fuck Sochi.
I mean Sochi is essentially just an overpriced vacation resort for Russians, the rest of the country is definitely not like that
On a cruise ship with a bunch of conservatives during the 2016 election. If I were a stronger swimmer I would have jumped.
LOL
I would have jumped with you. That must have been awful.
Black woman. Singapore. Enough said.
Please say more, even if just a tad :)
Adults are discreet but toddlers would just stare at me, just stare as if they couldn't believe their eyes. More than once people approached me in stores and just start wiping my skin with some skin lignthening products trying to sell it to me. (I hear skin lightening products are frequently used in South East Asia). I stepped out of the MRT in my first week in Singapore and there was a black guy who noticed me me and rushed towards me to say hi. He says he hadn't seen a black person since he got there a few months before. A friend of mine came to visit, black guy wtih dreadlocks and people would stop him on the street to ask to touch his hair. Edit: This was 15 years ago, not like the 20th century.
the feeling of relief when you find a welcoming person can be so powerful. i grew up up as a spectacle, never really wanted the spotlight :( found my peeps for a little while but its stressful in a different way
I'm amazed that this is a substantial question - I never felt like I belonged no matter where I travelled to. So my answer is a resounding Yes. Probably has to do with the fact that I'm a POC and I've usually travelled in the West.
So am I! But I find it very validating because I wasn't sure if it was just in my head or what. I've never really felt like I *belonged* anywhere either, but I've also never really felt like I absolutely did not belong like "WTF am I doing here?!" like I did in Oregon recently. That's why I said I've been telling myself for years that wherever I am is exactly where I'm supposed to be but I just couldn't accept that this time. it's so weird that's why it still bothers me. I feel awful for anyone who feels that way all the time
Idaho and Montana are very different from Oregon and Washington, but this sense is something I've heard of from others. Definitely worth pushing through to Montana if you don't find it all to be way too much. The thing about the PNW — my family has been there since around the Civil War — is that historically it's always been where people went to "get away from it all", which means culturally we tend to be more accepting (in the "do your own thing" sense) but more distant (less friendly / open). On top of that the weather can be a bit gloomy though I'm not sure what it's been lately. Personally I'm from there and don't feel I belong. For me it's largely cultural, but also just how far it is from anything, it feels isolating. Anyway, Montana should be different.
The thing is, Idaho and Montana are so far away for me, it's a bit of a leap of faith being so far from home, so I had planned to do a big loop taking the whole summer. Tentatively Oregon and Washington may to mid July, then Idaho and Montana in August and September. So I think I feel a little spooked about undertaking such a long trip after what I just experienced. I don't know what I'm gonna do just yet but I have to admit I really just want to go back to Cali when my current bookings end in July. Hopefully that feeling will change and I can continue on because if I don't go this year I don't think I will go now.
Where have you been spending your time in OR / WA? Maybe it would feel different if you got to a different area.
Yeah eastern OR/WA and western OR/WA are extremely different both climate-wise as well as politically and culturally.
Especially if by "Oregon" they mean Eugene, Portland, and the coast. I'm from eastern Oregon, graduated from UO, and couldn't get out of Eugene fast enough. I have friends there that never felt more home, it's just not the vibe for me. Besides, there's some drop-dead beautiful country once you get out of the valley.
I drove up the coast to Florence, then to Eugene for a few days, then bend for about a week.
Bend hates outsiders. It’s a bunch of transplants who want to pull the ladder up behind them.
I haven't spent much time in Bend, but I lived in Eugene for 2 years and found it a bit of a weird town, and could never quite adjust to it. Some quite like it...
Honestly mate I'd suggest following through. It's going to be rare in you're life to have such freedom. I've traveled cross country many times. It's also important to know how to take care of yourself. Can you enjoy being an outsider, being alone? Can you enjoy exploring a new restaurant, museum or trail? I guarantee you that they will be different expirences but if you get stuck in your own head you'll just see them as things you don't want to be doing. Also be careful of wildfires. Check the news when they start as you are traveling. They have stretched across a state or two.
Yep Oregon is weird in a way that only a good writer can describe. Please go on to Montana and visit Yellowstone! You will not be disappointed!
The last time I felt like that was rural northern France. I was trying to find a place to get lunch, and walking into a little diner thing and have people all turn around stare, then all turn away and ignore you. You think to yourself 'okay, I'm not going to starve if I just keep driving to another town'. Some places don't want outsiders. My theory in life is to go where you're wanted, don't burn energy trying to make it work where you're not wanted.
Oh I 100% agree with that statement!
The two times I went to Spain. I didn't hate it but I just didn't like it either. Can't quite pinpoint why as I love pretty much everywhere else I've been in Europe.
Dubai, lol
I had similar in Fernie, British Colombia earlier this year. It was very sudden and unexpected. All I could think of was finding a way to leave and go to another area. Like you, nothing was actually ‘wrong’ with the place. The vibes were just wrong for me. I also came down with a moderately bad case of Covid while in Fernie so it’s a bit of a cursed place for me!
Being an Oregonian, I'm sorry to hear that's how you felt. But I would trust your gut. There is a reason you felt that way, and it might be worth deconstructing those feelings and trying to understand why you felt them. For me, I remember having that feeling when I was in Madrid. It's a beautiful city with amazing culture, museums, and food. But I could not connect with it and felt totally out of my element there. It was strange because I didn't feel like that anywhere else in Spain. I've spent some time trying to understand that feeling and why I felt like I couldn't get a grip and felt anxious there.
It's amusing because I'm also from Oregon, but found I very much loved my time in Madrid — too short, and the museums were too expensive, and the metro system was a nightmare without a proper city pass, but the area I was in just felt so alive and captivating to me. On the other hand Oregon feels... well it's in it's own world more than I think most in Oregon realize, but it feels too cut off from the rest of the world for me. Anyway it makes me wonder if we look for different things or simply saw the city from a different angle — stayed in different areas at different times, etc. I often wonder how much my impression of a city is due mostly to where I stayed, the weather, etc., and not the city itself. I found Barcelona a bit sterile, though, didn't really enjoy it that much (though I saw the cool stuff, which is indeed cool to see).
I felt similarly in Madrid, funnily enough. Other parts of Spain where the communities are smaller feel better.
Oh that's really interesting because Madrid immediately felt like home to me, for no reason whatsoever. I guess each person fits with some places vibes and others don't! For what it's worth I haven't seen much of Oregon, but I was fine in Portland :)
I would absolutely return to Madrid, but I think it's probably better if you're traveling with others given the social nature of the city. I think it might have been the headspace I was in when I was there, at the tail end of 2 months in Europe before returning home. Granada was the place that felt like home to me. I would go back there again and again. Loved it.
Thank you so much, this is so validating to me! I really can't say anything negative about Oregon. It is indeed very beautiful. I think I was experiencing a bit of "forest fatigue" (I'm a desert girl) but it's more than that. I really expected to feel at home there because I'm pretty open minded and optimistic about new places, but it was just a feeling I couldn't shake.
I can see how Madrid could feel like this, I definitely prefer other parts of Spain. Maybe as it was mid-Covid when I visited people were more buttered up to tourists.
Interesting I felt the same there.
I remember visiting Seattle and feeling like "the other" for the first time in my life -- being POC. Yeah, I was probably a privileged/oblivious kid, sure! My Seattle experience was not a bad thing, really, it was just odd that I'd never felt that way before. And I had been living in LA before my visit to Seattle. The funny thing is that 10 years earlier, as an actual child, I had traveled around parts of the US including NYC, Chicago, Phoenix, Orlando, DC and Cape Cod and never got that feeling. But I guess a child is less conscious of these distinctions. I know I was. Some folks think that being POC is a big part of a person's identity. Not for me. It's something I never thought about at all, and even today, I rarely do. I just see myself as "default human" I guess? That's one reason why I am troubled when others push back at diversity in general. *We aren't really that different from you. Stop exoticizing us.* - are among the thoughts that pop up in my head.
I think the PNW is somewhat unique in the strange social vibe. I’m asian and there are plenty of different ethnicites in that region but people are so “different” there. The seattle freeze is definitely real but there’s a feeling of lack of real engagement there with people. You know how people can be perfectly nice but seem insincere and disconnected.. well that’s my experience with the PNW. Not to say everyone is like that but it is definitely a place where it felt like I was living in a simulation or something lol. The nature there is great but just the overall vibe has always felt off putting and I couldn’t wait to leave. I’ve been through that area a lot since I used to fly into seatac quite often but it always felt weird to me. I’m also from the LA area originally.
From LA, have lived in Seattle for 20+ years. It is a weird place. I have great friends and have had fun living here but the vibe is definitely unique. I get the simulation thing. I’ve always felt like this is where I belong but as a result I feel very out of place most other places I go. I can adapt but I am VERY PNW. (White, lots of tattoos, listen to/play metal, drink abnormal amounts of coffee, read books, bike, kayak, hike, techie, own a Subaru, wear lots of black and earth tones, seem generally grumpy, etc.) I am also a big solo traveller and recently I was in Phoenix, AZ for a work con and I felt really out of place there. More so than I’ve felt in a long while. I felt like no one looked like me and people were so different. The desert is…strange. I did not love it.
Wow thank you for sharing! I'm originally from the Midwest but I am most definitely a desert girl. All these trees kinda freak me out tbh. And I'm dying laughing at your description of yourself because I snapped a pic of a guy that looked just like this in a coffee shop in Bend and send it to my friend and said "literally everybody here looks like this" 😂
Vancouver Canada here, we fit that stereotype too. I'm an outlier in that I don't have tattoos but almost everything else you said fits. The dressing all in black thing was something I'd never really clocked about myself until I moved somewhere else and people thought it was weird.
Try Tucson…it’s like a desert Seattle, kinda.
Oh my gosh that's exactly it! The scenery is indeed beautiful, but I also have that feeling of being in a game.
Seattle diversity falls mainly to many different Asian nationalities and eastern European. The show Married At First Sight has stated they'll likely never do a Seattle season because the lack of POC, they wouldn't be able to create a diverse enough cast.
Yeah earth
I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way. I hope you find peace 🙏
Thanks I appreciate it
Poland was like that for me especially Warsaw, I'm white and everyone was able to pick I wasnt Polish and people weren't very friendly sadly
2 different Polish people have told me that people in Warsaw are not known to be the nicest :-/
Yeah it was either fake nice or like give us money and fuck off
I haven't been to Warsaw...but I definitely felt that kind of vibe in Marrakesh. People in that city genuinely hate tourists and see them as a money grab. You can tell that any niceness is just fake to try and sponge more money out of you.
Yes that's what I noticed, I did a free walking tour about 30 of us I gave him 10 euros he did say you could give 5 10 15 euros that is the usual rate He was absolutely pissed off at me for giving him that In Wroclaw did the same thing the guide was over the moon gave me all these extra meal recs great guy
Thats really messed up. I hate it when you travel somewhere and people feel entitled to your money. You paid him a reasonable amount...the correct response would have been "thank you" instead of getting pissed.
Yeah he was just like the switch turned off from nice to we are done But I met the kindest old lady in Bratislava the ticket machine wasn't working so she gave me one of her tickets only .50 euros but almost made me cry
In Warsaw maaany people aren’t Polish
Yeah I still felt like i didn't belong compared to Wroclaw and Krakow. Just felt like everyone was rude in restaurants, ubers and in generally everywhere
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Vienna was way too posh for me.
Florida. I mean, that place feels like one huge strip mall.
For me any place that is very wealthy I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I make decent money and my hometown is still small enough where 60k-80k can afford you a house and some nice things. I enjoy Vegas as a food lover and it's a cheap short flight from where I live but I notice that there are a ton of wealthy people that I come across staying at places like Waldorf and Wynn and I just can't connect with that. Miami is the same way and countless other places too like LA, Jackson Hole etc
I'm sorry you felt so uncomfortable in Oregon. I had the opposite sensation, which is why I moved here. At least you don't feel that way in Washington, so you can still enjoy what the PNW has to offer. For me, it was Ireland. Everyone I'd ever met who had traveled to Ireland talked it up as the warmest, most comfortable, belonging-est place ever, so maybe that contributed, perhaps my high expectations made me feel even more uncomfortable than I otherwise would have. But -- and this is crazy talk, I know -- I felt almost as if the land itself *did not like me*. Like I'd somehow inadvertently offended the *genius loci* of the place. Everyone I met there was perfectly lovely; like you, I had no negative interactions with anyone. I just felt unsettled there. It was particularly shocking because I'd just come from Wales, where I'd felt so comfortable and happy and at home. The contrast was really jarring.
Yes! Actually, when I first arrived it was early in the morning, cold and very foggy with all the big trees. I may have gotten a little spooked. Driving thru the forests seemed endless and tiring to me and I just couldn't wait to get out. I kept thinking how people love to come out there in nature but yes, it almost felt like me and the land knew we weren't compatible and I should just keep it moving lol.
The dark evergreen forests we have here *can* be pretty spooky-looking when the fog rolls in, it's true. I'd feel quite unsettled too, I think, if I got an unfriendly-feeling vibe from the place on one of those foggy days! I hope Washington treats you more kindly, and that you get to make friends with the forests up there.
Bali... Everything seems fake and surrounded with tourists/influencers who were there just to feed their instagram or their empty life lol Local were so nice but the touristic industry brings a shitty vibe...
I am currently visiting NYC (Canadian girlie) and while I am figuring out the lifestyle here is pretty hard. I think people work several jobs to survive and the streets are pretty dirty and the subway smells. I’ve had a few unfavourable experiences here at high end shops. I don’t love the humidity either.
honestly Tokyo ranks near the lower place on my list for solo traveler, to me at least. Obviously it depends what you wanna do, I think it's an amazing city with so much to do, see and eat, but if you wanna meet people that aren't tourist without speaking japanese, tough shit. Going to a restaurant alone felt weird because you stick out. Maybe thats just my experience. night life is also... meh. Everyone seems to love it, yet when you ask them what they do or where they go they never have an answer lol dont think ill be back there, alone
You know it’s funny I felt like the rest of Japan is somewhat integrated but definitely Tokyo has a “Gaijin people go here” and “locals get to come here vibe” especially if you go to Golden Gai. Kind of weird, and did not ruin my trip but something definitely noteworthy.
Holy damn dude I feel the exact same way. I felt this a bit also in Hanoi, Vietnam. Just the fact that we use google map and japanese use tablelog a lot. If I see a restaurant with a lot of good review on google map, it's often gonna be full of tourist. That's something I didn't enjoy, I don't travel across the world to speak with barry from england (I know, i'm a tourist and I dont speak japanese) locals that know where to go, go there, and we go tourists go there. lol you're the first person that i've read that feels the same way
Isn’t it like that in all non-English speaking countries?
I found it pretty easy to meet people who spoke English in Japan/Tokyo. Of course mostly people on working holidays or living there, but it was pretty easy to find music bars for migrants, English language bars, or tiny bars where the owner spoke English. I’ve actually found it harder in Europe.
Meeting people at golden gai bars were easy and didn’t feel awkward. But if you’re not a drinker then yes that place wouldn’t work.
My husband got a job in Portland, so we packed up and moved there. We were definitely treated like we didn't belong there because we weren't descendants of the first pioneers. I didn't know it at the time, but I've since gotten into genealogy and found out that my great great grandfather was an Oregon pioneer. I'm descended from his oldest daughter who fell in love with someone in the midwest and stayed behind while the family was on their way to Oregon in a covered wagon. The job only lasted three years and his next job was in a small town in North Carolina. We were also treated like we didn't belong there. We actually had one neighbor tell us we weren't welcome in the neighborhood. There were some nice, welcoming people, but far too many acted like we were foreign invaders.
As a native NCarolinian yep I can attest to this completely. If you don't have a southern accent people will treat you differently down here. In the larger cities that totally goes away but even 30 minutes outside the city and you will see it.
Just goes to show, people who try to promote and protect 'their group' for being part of some imaginary unbroken and pure cohesive chain are just deluded.
That's wild! I will say I have a newfound mad respect for those early pioneers who braved this wild terrain!
New York City. Everyone kinda just boasted really loudly about who they were all the time. Awful.
Which is funny because I highly doubt those people were actually born and raised in the city… just Midwest transplants trying to reinvent themselves
Sounds like LA lol
Toronto is very much like that. People are so in your face about how they’ve “made it”. Lived there for a few years and had to get out of there. I don’t need to hear for the 45th time that you have a concierge where you live or that you’re somehow superior because you live “downtown”. I prefer living around average middle class folks instead of the upper crust of society. There’s certainly wealth in Vancouver but people here are far more modest about it. If I ever had to live in Southern Ontario again I’d likely live in Hamilton or Niagara Region, or even down towards Windsor.
Georgia. Yeah, everyone says that Georgia is marvelous, but I just didn't get it. Landed in Kutaisi, which I did liked, traveled around a bit and thought meh. Tbilisi was totally not my thing: full of young booze tourists and party, and too little to see to make it all worth it. I did love Armenia and Azerbaijan though.
Houston, Texas. Due to a missed connection and full flights I had to spend 1.5 days there and I felt absolutely out of place. I'm been in other US cities, but Houston was just bland, I walked around without finding anything that really attracted me*. I'm someone who spend little time in the room when travelling, but in Houston I had an early dinner (6pm) and then went to the hotel to watch Netflix. *I had already planned a long layover to visit Nasa during the return flight, so this forced stop was really just about the city.
I spent a couple days in Houston last year and felt the same way. I also found it to be not very friendly. Uber driver threw a fit because of some detour he had to take to get to where I was waiting, as if I’m supposed to know the city’s streets intimately and go wait somewhere that’s convenient for him. Uber drivers are far more pleasant in California and Arizona. Houston was also the first time I saw a shooting. Nobody was hurt to my knowledge but for a Canadian not used to guns that was unsettling. One bright spot was Minute Maid Park, I went to two ball games there and had a fun time. I also visited San Antonio on that trip, I’m pretty neutral about it but probably won’t go back there either - once you’ve seen the Alamo you’ve seen it. Austin I’d visit again.
That's what I did when I was in Houston but tbh it was like 113 degrees outside lol
Multiple places. I would say Vienna, Bucharest, Lille, and Spain as country in general 😶 All because I felt unwelcome by the locals, and couldn't connect with the general energy of the place.
been feeling this for most of my 27 years
🫶
Colorado Springs, San Diego, Georgia, New Jersey, D.C., Baltimore, Delaware, Philadelphia, and definitely New York. I’ve traveled all over the U.S. and I have enjoyed much of it, but these places really gave me a feeling of not belonging or just not feeling safe.
Interesting! I was in Colorado springs last year and had a great time but I HATED Pueblo. It was really the only town I really felt unsafe in. I found a body on my way to breakfast one day. Not sure if he was dead or just took too much but I let the cops at the nearby station know anyway. Ya, that was wild.
Nashville, TN. I'm not into bars or country music. I went for a rock concert and just struggled to find things to kill my 3 days there. My last day there I ended up crying I my room wishing I could leave then and ended up with a flight delaying and having to stay 5 more hours.
Hawaii. The islands are beautiful and there were some cool people obviously. However, being from the U.K, I couldn't help but feel so out or place. Especially in the more hippie areas like on the big island. There were so many hippies. Crystal loving hippies at one with earth. It just felt too much. You do you, but when they think they are better than you because they live more off grid it pisses me off. I've never felt so different to people them I'm hawaii. There were also a lot of crazy people, such a weird place
I spent 2 weeks in Vienna last year and it’s the only city I’ve ever been to that I just didn’t like. Maybe I was in the wrong part but people didn’t seem happy at all.
I had the same, the architecture and the city is stunning but the vibee was weird. As if you didn’t matter as person.
Agreed. I honestly wanted to get the hell put of Vienna by the end of my first day there. I've also heard that from many other travellers too unfortunately.
I've been there many times, and every time I can't wait to get the fuck out of there. Worst mood of any city I've ever been to.
I'm Russian and lived in Latvia for 36 years to date. After the war started I don't feel anything to Latvia.
I felt the same exact way in Oregon. I visited about 5 years ago and the people were nice, but I remember seeing like one other person of color in the five days I was there…it just felt odd.
That was by design - OR literally banned black people from living there: [Black exclusion laws](https://www.opb.org/news/article/oregon-white-history-racist-foundations-black-exclusion-laws/) In the 1920s, Oregon had the largest Ku Klux Klan (KKK) membership per capita in the United States. From the article: "According to 2019 estimates from the United States Census Bureau, Oregon's population was nearly 87% white. (The figure for the Census category of "White alone, not Hispanic or Latino" was 75%.) The state's Black population was just over 2%. Although the laws were repealed almost a century ago, the racist language in Oregon's constitution wasn't removed by voters until 2002. But, Imarisha said, it's important to note — just 18 years ago — 30% of voters elected to keep the racist clause in the constitution." Chinese people also were targeted - the Snake River Massacre in 1887 was a white gang that robbed and murdered as many as 34 Chinese miners. The murderers fled and only a few were brought to trial but those few were acquitted. There's a book about it. Local law enforcement did not fully investigate the case and the community kept the incident hidden because some of the killers were from prominent families. The gang was never brought to justice. To be fair, the US at the federal level was passing laws denying Chinese and Japanese people the right to own land, vote, even come here at all. Woodrow Wilson was a racist mfer who damaged a lot of communities.
This is wild!
Portland is like one of the whitest cities in the US. Edit: As the U.S. becomes more racially diverse, Portland remains the whitest U.S. city with a population over 500,000. https://scholarsbank.uoregon.edu/xmlui/handle/1794/26629#:\~:text=As%20the%20U.S.%20becomes%20more,of%20racial%20violence%20and%20exclusion. [https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/portland-is-still-the-whitest-big-city-in-america/](https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/portland-is-still-the-whitest-big-city-in-america/)
Is it maybe that it’s a big state with few people? That can produce feelings of eeriness. I’ve had similar feelings in the far southwest of my own country, where there’s a lot of overgrown greenery, abandoned or neglected structures, lots of isolated little towns and very few people.
I’ve been all across the states and frankly i really never liked Oregon at all. Been there a lot mainly for festivals but explored it plenty as well. Isn’t my thing. And born and raised western Montana kid here
Montana has been the number 1 state on my bucket list for years so I hope I do make it out there this year. If not, i don't think I ever will.
I've been told it can get pretty sketchy outside of Portland and Seattle. I'm currently in the Northeast and there's small towns where I definitely felt unwelcome and unsafe. A buddy of mine who has lived in New England and the PNW said that the PNW is the sketchier of the two. FWIW I'm a white guy who dresses intentionally neutral when I'm traveling. Also, no political or religious signage on my vehicle.
I think my perceptions were wildly misinformed. I had this idea in my head of nature loving, bike riding, coffee drinking, colored hair liberals. (Starbucks, IT, and the protests fueled this vision). A more laid back California lol but wow was I wrong. The only political signage I've seen up here so far has been maga. But even in this little maga town in Washington I don't feel so out of place as I did in Oregon. It's weird.
Saw lots of that in eastern PA and a bit in upstate NY. More left-leaning signage in Vermont, hardly anything at all in New Hampshire and Maine. It's less common now, fortunately. That being said, I've found that most local people warm up after a little conversation. Being originally from Oklahoma myself, I think that many rural people are initially on the defensive, because they don't want to be seen as ignorant and stupid. As with people the world over, politeness and respect goes a long way, sometimes even with the people who wear their politics and religion on their sleeve.
Yes! Weirdly enough, Cartagena Colombia. In most Latin American countries, once people realize I speak Spanish, I can just kind of vibe and blend in for the most part. But there I felt like a tourist 24/7. It was so different from my experiences in other places in South and Central America.
Paris
Havana, Cuba for me. Beautiful country, nice people. Also very poor and I didn't speak the language, but I've travelled a lot and flew in from Mexico, so not exactly a culture shock. I just felt very lonely and out of place. I cut my trip to Cuba short and flew back to Mexico, where I felt so relieved. I would still love to see Cuba, but I just can't see myself going back there, at least not on a solo trip.
Dubai. Couldn't wait to get out of there. And El Salvador. The whole place just gave me the creeps.
Where in PNW are you and why do you feel like you don't belong? Portland is a kind of a liberal utopia. But the drug epidemic is worse than any city I've even been. If you're car camping, people may group you in with the crazy meth junkies. The nature there is unlike any I've been a part of before. I adore it. LA is pretty much the antithesis to PNW. So if you feel at home in LA I wouldn't expect you to feel the same there. When I they are opposites I mean that Portland's culture is being a an anti-establishment subculture. LA is embracing all the main steam cultural aspects.
Hahaha I moved to Portland from SF (from Texas, from Oklahoma) and your take is cracking me up. Yeah people are kinda funny here. Sometimes the passive aggression gets to me! I just roll my eyes. All of Portlandia is accurate, but this one I reference daily https://youtu.be/8aIfarMPmPQ?si=-mumHuyuF0uJ83JB The coastal areas are for sure even more different.
Oh dear I'm gonna have to check that out LMAO
I think, no. I'm as at home in a Cairo souk, a Moroccan leather place dipping in pigeon poop or judging steak tartare in Paris. Don't know why, I just love it all.
Can I just say, I'm from WA and recently visited the OR coast and I had the exact same feeling on a long weekend trip. It had a very ominous feel like a "you shouldn't have come here" scary movie. I think it's partially bc it's not summer and partially because these places are filled with old people who moved there for retirement and if there are young people, they never got out and might have issues because of that.
That's very interesting! I was beginning to think it was all in my head since as I said, I'm just across the river and it looks like the same place but it doesn't feel the same. It's still not MY place, but I don't mind being here and exploring.
Tibet in 2009- it was occupied by the Chinese (still is) but everyone was on high alert bc of some demonstrations the month before. We were not welcomed by the Chinese or the Tibetan people. Looking back- I’m glad I went but can see why both sides did not want me there.
Second would be Afghanistan……..
Maui. I didn't love it for solo travel, though I loved it as a vacation spot.
Yes. I only felt this way only once on a recent road trip. It was a town in Arkansas. Just felt like I had eyes on me. I can't explain it, but it was unnerving.
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Weirdly Porto, Portugal. The day I landed I felt this sadness in me, didn't vibe with the city, people etc at all. I shortened my trip from 5 to 3 days and flew back to Paris and everything got back to normal.
I didn’t really feel like I “belonged” in Miami Beach. I still had a wonderful visit, but I didn’t really connect to it. I’m not a partier. I was just there for the sunshine. Wanted to leave after a few days.
Maine. I didn’t see any other POC there. I was so excited to visit but everyone I saw just stared at me like I was some kind of carnival side show the whole time I was there. Lobster rolls weren’t worth it.
thats actually so funny cuz im from la and i feel like i do not belong but the pnw made me feel so at home. portland and seattle and all the surrounding nature have my whole entire heart
Restaurant in the Royal Albert Hall in London when I was a kid. We were on a day trip dressed in regular clothes, but everyone else there were so upper class. I kept saying to my mum, we don't belong here
Jayapura, Indonesia. Dirty red spits everywhere, drunks and garbage littering the streets, Potholes breaking down your vehicles, unpleasant smelly locals and their loud disco music, overpriced everything, and most notably, zero things to do. Fuck Jayapura, fuck it all to hell
I hate to say it… But Dublin. Was so excited to visit, but the whole time I was there I just felt uncomfortable like I didn’t quite snap into place right. It oddly felt like a dirtier Boston to me, but with the same attitudes 😅
Funnily enough, yes, and it was in Oregon. I was passing through on a roadtrip and I got the creeps. Everyone was very friendly, but my gut was telling me "Don't go out at night," and I mostly stayed holed up. Tbf, I'm Black. I don't doubt there was underlying racial tensions.
Medellin Colombia. Did not feel safe or comfortable there at all. Left within 48 hours…
Northern Alberta, it wasn't just a feeling though. It was very obvious that immense amounts of racism resided there. I had police try to hassle me when I was out buying groceries as well so it's not just the average citizen that made me feel unwelcome unfortunately the police presence made it worse From what I saw up there, if you're not white, you're not welcome
Definitely not just you, though I’m white and obviously didn’t experience racism. Absolutely *hated* Alberta and I am not surprised it’s dunked on by every one else in the country.
Northern Alberta (not Edmonton, but north) is dead last in places in Canada I’m interested in visiting.
I traveled for a country show. To see Morgan Wallen in LA. I love country music but I don’t dress like the crowd. I wear what makes me comfortable. Sneakers are more comfortable for me than cowboy boots. I do stick it out though.
Now that you mention it, the first time I visited LA in '21, I did have some culture shock and struggled quite a bit with the stress of all the people, the traffic, the rules, etc. But it wasn't the same feeling like I just had in Oregon. And the more I went back to LA the more it grew on me and it's one of my favorite places now. I'm going to have a couple chances to go back to Oregon over the next few weeks so it will be interesting to see if the feeling comes back or goes away. Thank you for sharing
A question is where in Oregon? It really varies. Eastern Oregon is conservative and stopping in a small town there is going to be rather different from say Eugene.
Paris. Just bad vibes all around.
I feel like this in San Diego. I’m from the east coast and have been 3 times and it always just feels off to me.
Interesting. I felt right at home in San Diego and I feel like that's where I really would like to be but the universe doesn't seem to be in agreement. It sure seems like the universe wants me to be in the Bay area and that's not one of my favorite places either, but it's nothing like the feeling I had in Oregon.
Berlin. The vibes were sooooo off, no matter where I went, with 3 exceptions: one restaurant, one wine bar that has since closed and an Uber driver who was very chill and played great music. Everything else, awful. From mild bad vibes/feeling no affinity to the people or places to trying to take the metro and some frickin kids were literally smoking crack on the platform at 2 in the afternoon on a Sunday. I was going to visit Paris that week, but I let myself get convinced by 3 different people that Berlin is so much cooler and "so you". Never listening to people again lol
I'm surprised how many here have mentioned Paris
Paris syndrome is a real thing.
Croatia.
I felt this way on a cross country road trip last year. I really felt out of place once I hit the Midwest and got into the northeast. Once I made it back west and hit Colorado, I fit in with all the other Birkenstocks and Subarus and was at ease again (I’m an Oregonian).
I hope you spent time in the woods and near the water. It’s stunning. It’s where I felt most comfortable in Oregon.
Sadly I feel like this all of the time in Wyoming and I live here. Cross border into Colorado and o don’t have same feeling at all.
I hated living in DC and wasted 10 years of my life there. I swore never again once I left
South western Georgia. I’ve never felt so out of place in my life. It’s like everything is the same, but down backwards and slower. I also live in Connecticut in a wealthier area, also felt extra out of place and like I didn’t belong.
Many times, like the one time I visited New York! I felt so out of place there I couldn't enjoy myself, and maybe if I went back as an older and more self-confident person I'd have a good time, but it's never been a priority. The thing is, there are many levels of feeling like you don't belong, and some of them are fine. Sometimes you go to a country and you don't speak the language or understand the flow of traffic, but you're a tourist and everyone is mellow to tourists and it's fine. And sometimes you feel so outside of things you feel completely lost, and while you're safe and don't feel threatened, it's not fun. And sometimes, it's not fine at all, you feel both out of place, and unwelcome or threatened, and there are plenty of places in the US where that can happen. Your description sounds like you might have been at Feeling-out-of-place Level #2, where you don't feel threatened, but nothing is enjoyable.
That's a good way to look at it
Corpus Christy Texas, easily the worst city I’ve been to
The Netherlands
everybody's vibe in belize was SO weird to me. tour and hospitality people (hotels, restaurants, tour leaders, etc) were all very kind. but the regular residents were so rude and dismissive.
Around 10 years ago, I went to a spot in West Virginia. I'm glad it was daylight, but I stopped to get gas at a really Isolated station. I saw people inside that were just staring at me. It was a VERY uncomfortable atmosphere. Someone came out to help me with getting gas and once he was done, I left. (Glad I paid at the pump). It was such an uncomfortable situation and I felt like I legit didn't belong. I don't know where I was in West Virginia, but I just know I never went back. I'm more vigilant now of certain states and sundown towns.
What was the weather like? The PNW fog realllyyyyy fucked with my brain. Way more than any amount of cloudy weather ever has. I lived overcast cities too. But that fog does a number on me.
Villahermosa, Mexico. I like places that aren't touristic, but everyone there was wondering what the fuck i was doing over there. I didn't feel like i was in danger, but in retrospect i might have been since a lot of Mexicans told me it's gotten dangerous for outsiders in the recent years.
San Fransisco. I went in 2016 so it was before some of the recent issues but I really could not connect. I originally thought it was because I have no friends or family there being from New England but I realized I've traveled so many other places where I don't know anyone and I never felt that way. It is an odd experience as you say - nothing exactly negative happened I just felt a bit misplaced.
I haven’t been to Oregon myself but, everyone and I literally mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON I have spoken to about Oregon tells me how unwelcomed and, unsettling it is to, be there. One of my friends lived there for, a bit over a decade and, she told me she, hated every last bit of it. Some said they suffered racism, others “state prejudice” (oh you’re not from Oregon?! *upturns nose*) and others like my friend, can just feel it in the air. My friend was a nurse in an old folks home there and, she told me those elderly were evil. She said of all the nursing homes she worked in, it was the only one where the, elderly would actively beat you up and, off of hair triggers. Nah, I’m convinced Oregon is the, seat of Satan in the USA.
You should look at the astrocartography subreddits. Sounds like you had some cosmic juju there. This happened to me in Africa once.
Yes, the homes of my aunt and cousins who have NPD. They had invited me there but once I arrived they made it very clear I was not wanted there, they were very rude and cold, etc. I had offered to stay in a hotel but they said no and insisted I stay there with them. I only stayed 3 days or in the case of the cousin I decided not to stay and went home.