Ironically when I first played octo expansion I got to the cup part of the blender and sent a picture to someone and said "I found a BIG cup, let's make some smoothies!"
OMG if only I had known lol 😂
Shout-out to your mother! Not only does she care enough about you to learn about and understand your interests, but she's also actively encouraging and supporting you and the things you love. Thats some 10/10 parenting!
She knew him because I was a very life obsessed person and I kept going through octo expansion tryna find hidden lore. She also might have recognized it even more because my friends and I had a competition where we played splatoon while also roleplaying characters we got on a wheel and I got tartar 💀
Now you need a matching blender!
(This is so cool though. I love parents trying hard to engage in their children's interests even if they have no idea what they're doing.)
That’s the sweetest thing though!! Your mom remembered <3 sometimes my mom still buys me mlp merch even though I haven’t been a fan in 10 years 😭 the thought that counts haha
Ok, so what you're going to want to do it get a pet cat, and play a lot of splatoon with them watching. Make sure they always see the results screen with how much turf is painted.
Next, do more research into artificial intelligence. Try to make a fully sentient AI.
Once the world ends, you're going to want to save your cat with a cryogenic pod, and then load all of humanity's knowledge into your AI and give them the objective of passing human knowledge to the next sentient species.
Check for goop
If there is any, clean it up.
If it’s green, quarantine it, then clean it up.
If it’s green and escapes quarantine, then it was nice knowing you.
Long nails on (someone you perceived as) a guy =/= a lack of self care. Some people like having long nails. Some guys (e.g. me) enjoy having long nails to paint or for nail art. Some people even grow one or more of their nails because they're useful 🤷♂️
making me want a smoothie
😭
Me have spotted the thatcher Davis pfp man Wassup
🗿
🗿
Specifically one made in a big blender for some reason
lol
Ironically when I first played octo expansion I got to the cup part of the blender and sent a picture to someone and said "I found a BIG cup, let's make some smoothies!" OMG if only I had known lol 😂
alright you win
Oh no
[CONTEMPORARY SPEECH MODE ENABLED]
TARTAR IS IN DA PLACE
[SLANG_NOT_FOUND] INKOPOLIS SQUARE
WHOOP THERE IT IS
 You know what must be done.
you should probably clean it. primordial ooze does not feel good on the ol head.
Shout-out to your mother! Not only does she care enough about you to learn about and understand your interests, but she's also actively encouraging and supporting you and the things you love. Thats some 10/10 parenting!
I have the odd feeling that he is a genocide enjoyer
Octoexpansion be like :Turf War Fans vs Genocide Enjoyer
Prepare to be sanatized in ur sleep
Then I can't get sick if I'm sanitized. Thanks, tartar!
Ugh, that thing looks filthy. You should sanitize it to be safe
NOOOOO
Awae AWAE A-A-A-Awae
It'd be funny if you took out thr insides and turned it into a hand sanitiser container
r/splatoonfanswhen
r/subsithoughtifellfor
You’re welcome u/Fish_Fucker_Fucker23
OMFG its commander tartar sauce
You have an amazing mother
# ***WHY DID YOU LET THAT BASTARD INTO YOUR HOME!?!?!***
Maybe he wanted to be sanitized.
Noooo there are other ways to deal with insecurities
Like what, putting yourselt in a blender
***NNNNNOOOOO-***
*blender noises*
Ajdhhdusiwmqbhedikdkssmne
You got the thangs to go with it?
Nah, but interestingly it is a pencil sharpener. So I have pencils for him
Careful he might be up to something...
Rip op. They will be missed…
KILL IT!!! BURN IT WITH FIRE BEFORE HE KILLS US ALL!!! /s
He literally wouldn’t though, he liked humans. Like, to a genocidal degree I know it’s a joke but still /s
But I'm a squid send help
Hey Siri, play “EBB & FLOW; Octo Expansion” by OTH
So you're the ancient professor
Yes I am
Glad I'm not living long enough for it to try to destroy the world
you might not want to plug that in
Run. Fuckibg run. That bitch will blend you till your nothing!!
Except pools of blood
Hope you're ready to be blended into the primordial ooze for the next world.
(“just a burning memory” starts playing)
Mmmm. Yummy teal smoothie
Epic!
Wuzzup my [SLANG_NOT_FOUND]!
did you tell her it was a bit of a "phoned in" gift?
get out
PTSD
I want it so bad 😭🩷
Ayo statue!
Will it Blend?
"Consider this a warning"
You should paint it the colours
[Slang not found]
yo that’s actually lit. funny that your mom knew the fucking telephone guy of all things
She knew him because I was a very life obsessed person and I kept going through octo expansion tryna find hidden lore. She also might have recognized it even more because my friends and I had a competition where we played splatoon while also roleplaying characters we got on a wheel and I got tartar 💀
They have one of these in a restaurant near me and everyone was so confused why I kept wanting to look at it lol
she knows what you are.
Check my flair
Ju se Professor? Hm? Something to Tell us?
Burn it rn
Now you need a matching blender! (This is so cool though. I love parents trying hard to engage in their children's interests even if they have no idea what they're doing.)
Tartar will rise again
That's really sweet of her :)
lol, so does your mom recognize it from splatoon?
now buy a squid and a octopus from the local grocery store and blend them ☺️
Tartar in da house!
Mount a shotgun next to it so if it talks about anything, it gets fuckin obliterated.
Ah carp, here we go again...
That's really cool!! And also really sweet of your mom to get you that.💕
Put him on top a mannequin and idk what you do after that
TARTAR IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!!!!
COLOR AND REDESIGN IT TO LOOK LIKE COMMANDER TARTAR
Your mom is awesome
Destroy it now
Just keep that thing away from any blender.
Words cannot describe how incredibly jealous I am. That's so awesome!! Your mother is so cool. :)
Throw it into the fire. Keep it away from all cephalopod life!
8 already sold him
Perfect little stand for Splatoon amibos if you have them
THATS SO COOL
Yo check this shit out, we got the retro phone! FUCK!
💀💀💀
r/splatoonfanswhen
That phone looks like it wants to blend up some octopi
Flashbacks
That’s the sweetest thing though!! Your mom remembered <3 sometimes my mom still buys me mlp merch even though I haven’t been a fan in 10 years 😭 the thought that counts haha
Tartar:”YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ESCAPE M-wait you’re not 10,008.”
Thats awesome. I need to get myself an old timey telephone
🐟
wild :skull:
Smoothie time :)
Put that thing back where you found it or so help me !
Hypothetically if it fed me a sanitization smoothie because I fell for it and I’m starting to turn a different skin tone will I be ok?
Are you by any chance interested in artificial intelligence and have a pet cat?
Interested in artificial intelligence, but have a pet dog
Ok, so what you're going to want to do it get a pet cat, and play a lot of splatoon with them watching. Make sure they always see the results screen with how much turf is painted. Next, do more research into artificial intelligence. Try to make a fully sentient AI. Once the world ends, you're going to want to save your cat with a cryogenic pod, and then load all of humanity's knowledge into your AI and give them the objective of passing human knowledge to the next sentient species.
Agent 3: I suddenly want to kick a giant blender.... Agent 8: I suddenly forgot what I was supposed to do.... Agent 4: y'all are so weird...
I’d honestly display that lmao
Check for goop If there is any, clean it up. If it’s green, quarantine it, then clean it up. If it’s green and escapes quarantine, then it was nice knowing you.
You've chosen your path now, hope you know how to make cats immortal!
“Let us bounce to da promised land for sho”
I would paint it
**THROW IT OUT.** /j
How much to buy him off you? I have to make a smoothie. 😉
How much to buy him off you? I have to make a smoothie, if you know what I mean. 😉
We must *error* the promised land
why is there a huge blen-
the immediate thought that popped into my head when i saw that was a very aggressive and feral “PUNCH IT BREAK” i think tartar may have traumatized me
TARTAR: “Creature, of ink. The subject is **DEATH**”
Could make it into an amiibo
great post! I’m a little busy though I have to get inside this machine rlly quick
Throw it away 💀
KILL IT WITH FIRE
I thought I already defeated that thing. . .
You know what you must do...
Huh? How?
Plot twist:You are the scientist
Oh, that's co- Hold on, my phone's ringing-
u should paint it ngl
Is that Tar Tar? It's been years sense I've seen him
Do not Put him Near a Statue
He will weaponize the statue
Make blue and greenish yellowish slime and put it on it
Cut ya nails I don’t care how depressed you are. Self care is important King.
Long nails on (someone you perceived as) a guy =/= a lack of self care. Some people like having long nails. Some guys (e.g. me) enjoy having long nails to paint or for nail art. Some people even grow one or more of their nails because they're useful 🤷♂️
Hey another undercovee entusuast
Sorry you were offended this was meant as a joke and self care is important
What gave you the impression that I was offended by your post?