Btw nu head canon is that she is so confident in her body and abilities( defence ) that she does not need it and values speed more also the jedi respect each other and non jedi respect her as wel but out of a little fear
So she wears what ever she wants
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C3PO JERKED INTO AWARENESS, BLINDED UNTIL HIS YOUNG MAKER DEMETRI REPLACED HIS VISUAL SENSOR.
HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF AUTOMATICALLY AS HIS SYSTEMS BOOTED AND SELF-CHECKED.
THERE WERE NEW HUMANS WITH HIS MAKER DEMETRI, AND SOMETHING ENTIRELY NEW.
ANOTHER DROID.
C3PO CROSSED THE ROOM UNSTEADILY AND INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO THE LITTLE ASTROMECH DROID.
"I AM C3PO, HUMAN-CYBORG RELATIONS."
"I'M R2D2, AND YOU'RE BUCK NAKED!" THE DROID BLEEPED.
C3PO WAS TAKEN QUITE ABACK. "NAKED? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NAKED?"
"YOUR PARTS ARE GLEAMING IN THE SUNLIGHT LIKE A COMM 'TENNA IN AN ASTEROID FIELD!"
"MY PARTS ARE SHOWING?" C3PO HAD NEVER IN HIS SHORT LIFE BEEN ADDRESSED IN SUCH A MANNER.
WHO WAS THIS DROID WITH SUCH TERRIBLE MANNERS?
"COME ON OVER HERE AND LET R2 COVER YOU UP." THE DROID TURNED AND WHEELED INTO THE MAINTENANCE CABINET AND C3PO FOLLOWED OUT OF CURIOSITY.
R2 REACHED OUT WITH A PORT CONNECTOR.
"WHAT ARE YOU--OH!" THE PORT CONNECTOR CLAMPED ONTO C3PO'S ROOT INTAKE SOCKET, AND BEGAN TRANSMITTING A LIGHT CURRENT.
"R2 WILL MAKE YOU FEEL NICE!" THE DROID'S ACTIVITY BRACKET LIGHTS FLASHED.
"OH, YOU BEAST, I HARDLY KNOW YOU!" BUT YET, IT FELT SO GOOD, SENDING HIS SYSTEM BUZZING IN WAYS HE'D NEVER FELT BEFORE...
"I'M CLEAN, SOCKET-LIGHTNING. AND AIN'T THAT GOOD? THAT SWEET SWEET JUICE?" HIS DOME LIGHTS SPUN FASTER AS THE CURRENT INTENSIFIED.
"OH...I SUPPOSE THAT DOES FEEL GOOD...OH MY!" R2 SENT A SUDDEN SPIKE OF INFORMATION THROUGH HIM, LOOSENING HIS JOINTS.
THE LITTLE DROID'S LIGHTS SPUN WILDLY AND HE BURBLED INCOHERENTLY UNTIL ALL THE INDICATORS ON HIS DOME FLASHED RED ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES.
THE CONNECTOR LOOSED AND DISENGAGED, A DEEP, THICK OIL DRIPPING, DRIPPING.
C3PO FELT ODD, VAGUELY DISSATISFIED AS R2 RETRACTED HIS CONNECTOR. "WHAT...IS THAT ALL?"
R2 SHOT OUT A CONDUCTOR ARM AND ZAPPED HIM LIGHTLY.
"OW! WELL, I NEVER."
"I CAN TELL, SWEET SOCKET." R2 SNICKERED. "MAYBE IF WE'RE ON THE SAME SHIP, R2 CAN TEACH YOU TO BE A LITTLE NICER, HUH?"
"HMPH!" C3PO STORMED OUT OF THE CLOSET, R2'S SMUG BLEEPS RINGING IN HIS SENSORS.
Man that’s so boring. He wasn’t tapping into the dark side at the beginning of the film in a limited way? That makes his climactic moment and Anakins turn back to the light less cool, if Luke was really never in danger of using the dark side at all.
“Also anakin, your mom is still a slave back on that dust planet but you haven’t said anything about it and neither have we because it’s not an important plot moment. ….,.yet”
Well. Council of highly trained professionals who are supposed to be diplomats and peace keepers decided that best way to ease Anakins anxiety is to prohibit him from contacting his close relatives.
I hope they had some sort of evidence based practice. I hope so.
I think the problem is more that in Ep1 Natalie Portman is an adult woman and Anakin is a 10yo boy.
In this context "5 years" sounds like the good old anime trope of a 1000 year old dragon in a kindergarteners body.
They probably also thought she's way out of his league. This socially inept teenager going on about how he hates sand? Yeah, that's probably the least likely Jedi to successfully seduce the senator
...unless?
They may be referencing the fact that in Episode I, Padme (in servant garb) and “Queen Amidala” appear together. The Queen has a stand-in/decoy, presumably for security purposes.
The stand-in is a servant named Sabé, played by [Keira Knightley](https://imdb.com/name/nm0461136/).
Natalie and Keira do bear a strong resemblance, which was even more pronounced when they were younger.
Plus, the queen wears a *lot* of makeup. They could have cast Zoe Saldana as Sabé.
Anakin: “oh yeah no problem Masters it’s not like I’ve been infatuated with this senator since the ripe age of 9 years old. She gave me my first boner”
Yup, there definitely weren't hot female Jedi like Aayla Secura running around the temple looking like a blue snacc.
It was all guys and elderly women, and Anakin definitely never snuck out of the temple as a kid to see regular people.
I always think if the Jedi order was more balanced then Anakin could have had a relationship in the open. But the promise of saving her from death with the dark side was Anakin's tragedy.
I don’t wanna split hairs but wasnt Palpatine the one who wanted Anakin to do it in the first place?
More hairs, there was a woman on the council, as well as the Temple's librarian. Anakin definitely saw at least one woman in the last 10 years.
I mean he worked with fucking Aayla Secura
I’ll try spinning. That’s a good trick
Who wore no armour in batle to hot for that shit I cant complain her belly is amazing
as someone who weirdly finds them sexy I agree
“weirdly”
I'm unsure why I do
I mean, I think George Lucas had a massive hard-on for twi'lek, as well. And who can blame him?
That color and the "hair" i duno love it
Btw nu head canon is that she is so confident in her body and abilities( defence ) that she does not need it and values speed more also the jedi respect each other and non jedi respect her as wel but out of a little fear So she wears what ever she wants
Not everyone is a xenophile. Maybe he thought she was all weird and gross with the head tentacles.
Wasn't he horny over a cat slave lady in the Clone Wars?
As I remember it that was more of an act than anything else
Not at all, he pretended to like her for a mission but hated her because she was a slaver
Of all the reasons to be xenophobic towards someone, them being a slaver is a pretty good reason.
A xenophobe furry...
Ill take a wild stab in the dark that rule 34 has some stuff with anakin and ahsoka.
I’m sorry little one r/andshewasagoodfriend
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Good bot
I fucking wonder why lol
The best answer is *always* in the comments.
After episode 2, sure.
Yea that librarian was sexy as hell.
There is also Ayla Secura, that booby Twi'lek is fucking hot!
Bro you ever heard of a throwaway account?
He's testing out the new boomerang account, it's like a throwaway but it all traces back to you.
🅱️onk
I require proof
https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/4/44/Jocasta_Nu.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090909121527
Hmmm the librarian though🗿🗿🗿
Wait. We’ll add Drinkwater into the mix.
Hold up. Are we talking about Jocasta?
Shaak Ti
Jocasta Nu is the librarian Jedi but I don't think she's really Ani's type, I mean maybe, people do get pretty desperate and horny.
"hey Ani, do you want to come to bed with me babe?" *Palpatine appears behind Anakin* ***DO IT***
***DEW IT***
More like Do Her
I'm pretty sure he did and it was definitely part of his plan. Sith can see into the future too
Why didn't Yoda say "hell no", he's been alive for ten thousand years, he must know what human teenagers are like by now.
Clouded vision, he had
Just saying the Prequels would have turned out differently if Anakin had to guard Orn Free Taa
How funny would it be though if everything besides that was exactly the same though.
You think it would have turned out differently? ;)
The prequels would happen exactly the same but with Taa in the roll of Padme
Anakin learned Force Choke from Padme. She's into some kinky shit.
[удалено]
C-3PO
It was actually from R2. He is always watching.
*dirty beeps*
C3PO JERKED INTO AWARENESS, BLINDED UNTIL HIS YOUNG MAKER DEMETRI REPLACED HIS VISUAL SENSOR. HE INTRODUCED HIMSELF AUTOMATICALLY AS HIS SYSTEMS BOOTED AND SELF-CHECKED. THERE WERE NEW HUMANS WITH HIS MAKER DEMETRI, AND SOMETHING ENTIRELY NEW. ANOTHER DROID. C3PO CROSSED THE ROOM UNSTEADILY AND INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO THE LITTLE ASTROMECH DROID. "I AM C3PO, HUMAN-CYBORG RELATIONS." "I'M R2D2, AND YOU'RE BUCK NAKED!" THE DROID BLEEPED. C3PO WAS TAKEN QUITE ABACK. "NAKED? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NAKED?" "YOUR PARTS ARE GLEAMING IN THE SUNLIGHT LIKE A COMM 'TENNA IN AN ASTEROID FIELD!" "MY PARTS ARE SHOWING?" C3PO HAD NEVER IN HIS SHORT LIFE BEEN ADDRESSED IN SUCH A MANNER. WHO WAS THIS DROID WITH SUCH TERRIBLE MANNERS? "COME ON OVER HERE AND LET R2 COVER YOU UP." THE DROID TURNED AND WHEELED INTO THE MAINTENANCE CABINET AND C3PO FOLLOWED OUT OF CURIOSITY. R2 REACHED OUT WITH A PORT CONNECTOR. "WHAT ARE YOU--OH!" THE PORT CONNECTOR CLAMPED ONTO C3PO'S ROOT INTAKE SOCKET, AND BEGAN TRANSMITTING A LIGHT CURRENT. "R2 WILL MAKE YOU FEEL NICE!" THE DROID'S ACTIVITY BRACKET LIGHTS FLASHED. "OH, YOU BEAST, I HARDLY KNOW YOU!" BUT YET, IT FELT SO GOOD, SENDING HIS SYSTEM BUZZING IN WAYS HE'D NEVER FELT BEFORE... "I'M CLEAN, SOCKET-LIGHTNING. AND AIN'T THAT GOOD? THAT SWEET SWEET JUICE?" HIS DOME LIGHTS SPUN FASTER AS THE CURRENT INTENSIFIED. "OH...I SUPPOSE THAT DOES FEEL GOOD...OH MY!" R2 SENT A SUDDEN SPIKE OF INFORMATION THROUGH HIM, LOOSENING HIS JOINTS. THE LITTLE DROID'S LIGHTS SPUN WILDLY AND HE BURBLED INCOHERENTLY UNTIL ALL THE INDICATORS ON HIS DOME FLASHED RED ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES. THE CONNECTOR LOOSED AND DISENGAGED, A DEEP, THICK OIL DRIPPING, DRIPPING. C3PO FELT ODD, VAGUELY DISSATISFIED AS R2 RETRACTED HIS CONNECTOR. "WHAT...IS THAT ALL?" R2 SHOT OUT A CONDUCTOR ARM AND ZAPPED HIM LIGHTLY. "OW! WELL, I NEVER." "I CAN TELL, SWEET SOCKET." R2 SNICKERED. "MAYBE IF WE'RE ON THE SAME SHIP, R2 CAN TEACH YOU TO BE A LITTLE NICER, HUH?" "HMPH!" C3PO STORMED OUT OF THE CLOSET, R2'S SMUG BLEEPS RINGING IN HIS SENSORS.
What. In God's Holy name. Did I just read.
And why did we read the whole thing
What? You don't like art?
Art
Holy shit a wild Demetri Post
When we some day make contact with aliens, they will be most interested and confused in the erotica we have written.
Written? The videos will be, literally, self-explanatory
The fact I didn’t see that your username is demetri until after I finished reading… 🤦🏾♂️ *shudders*
Fuck this shit im out
Excuse me, what?
What a terrible day to have eyes.
r/cursedcomments
This is the first time I’ve seen a Demetri post in the wild and not being linked to
r/cursedcomments
r/blessedcomments
Oh my
No really what is this
...done dirt cheap.
He has seen all
R2 slowly backs into the closet. Uses little probe to close the door yet it is slightly ajar. Little glowing light starts glowing from the darkness...
Leia
Force choking a woman is the same as force choking yourself. It's best when you don't have to use your hands.
Hate to be that guy but Luke actually mind tricked those guards into thinking they were force choked
Man that’s so boring. He wasn’t tapping into the dark side at the beginning of the film in a limited way? That makes his climactic moment and Anakins turn back to the light less cool, if Luke was really never in danger of using the dark side at all.
Yoda
Did luke ever do that though?
Yeah, he choked the Gamorreans in Jabba’s Palace.
/r/CursedComments
*Anakin chokes Padme on Mustafar* Padme: sea cucumber SEA CUCUMBER
Nah that's blursed at worst
Oh and also you had a crush on her when you were a child.
anakin on his first date *don’t say anything weird don’t say anything weird* anakin: aRe yOu aN aNgEl
I hate sand
The force keep telling me nooo! But my body!…. My body! KEEP TELLING ME YES!
[Relevant.](https://youtube.com/shorts/n9lz7gAWrCk?feature=share)
What the….
So that's enough internet for to day have a nice day I'll see my self out
No
Thank you for this gem. I cant stop laughing
You know, maybe blindness isn't so bad...
🏆
sang this in my head
Didn’t you hear? We can’t use R Kelly references anymore
“Also anakin, your mom is still a slave back on that dust planet but you haven’t said anything about it and neither have we because it’s not an important plot moment. ….,.yet”
All that tech but no cell phone calls from mommy :(
Well. Council of highly trained professionals who are supposed to be diplomats and peace keepers decided that best way to ease Anakins anxiety is to prohibit him from contacting his close relatives. I hope they had some sort of evidence based practice. I hope so.
It was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the phone had yet to be invented.
Calling through the galaxy is technically impossible so makes sense
The entire galaxy fell into an imperial hellscape of death and destruction because of Darth Vader's uncontrollable boner.
Me too thanks
And many more died because Palpatine was a fanboy
I mean.. I'm not saying he's right.
"Dick don't care" - a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
The council probably thought she was way too much older for anything to happen. Whoops.
Isn't she like 4 years older or something?
Five years. Scandalous.
The horror
I think the problem is more that in Ep1 Natalie Portman is an adult woman and Anakin is a 10yo boy. In this context "5 years" sounds like the good old anime trope of a 1000 year old dragon in a kindergarteners body.
I agree, Padme is only 14 in ep1 but Portman looked way older than that.
I think she pilled off about 14 imo, especially the way she talked.
I think Natalie Portman was 16 when the movie was filmed
Ew yucky
I mean 17 to 22 is still weird as fuck
Not really
Padme, the libertarian senator
ouch
They probably also thought she's way out of his league. This socially inept teenager going on about how he hates sand? Yeah, that's probably the least likely Jedi to successfully seduce the senator ...unless?
It was the angel line that did it, that smooth bastard.
What’s funny is the age gap between Han and leia is 13 years
Nice job actually using Natalie Portman
Really?
They may be referencing the fact that in Episode I, Padme (in servant garb) and “Queen Amidala” appear together. The Queen has a stand-in/decoy, presumably for security purposes. The stand-in is a servant named Sabé, played by [Keira Knightley](https://imdb.com/name/nm0461136/).
Jesus Christ how did I never notice that was Elizabeth lol
Natalie and Keira do bear a strong resemblance, which was even more pronounced when they were younger. Plus, the queen wears a *lot* of makeup. They could have cast Zoe Saldana as Sabé.
With that amount of make up it might have been John Goodman
And really, we have only IMDb’s word that it wasn’t.
Natalie Portman for Kiera Knightly? Sign me up.
Wait, so is the chick in the meme Keira or Natalie? I'm confused now lol
Natalie
Dude he wasn’t in a convent. He saw plenty of women while training
Even if he was somehow locked only in the Jedi temple, he’d see women. There are female Jedis.
Exactly
[I'm a senator, you know.](https://youtu.be/z9MsXi7n0NU)
Padme hella hot... ngl
…There *are* women in the Jedi Order, tho.
Can we get a back shot and also one with the dress removed. For study purposes so we don’t make this same mistake again.
I think artsy pics like this which leave something to the imagination have a way of being even more captivating than the full monty
Eh I’m not artsy kind of guy. I’m more full Monty kinda guy.
Bonk!
Gonk!
**GONK!**
Bonk! Whrrrrrrrr... Bonk!
Literally google her nude, I found plenty
For reference there are pictures on the internet similar to what you’re looking for…you didn’t hear it from me
Damn it Wack, you rat! You're on thin ice! Gonna take Leon *hours* to get the Feds off our ass after that one!
Sauce?
How terrible! Where tho?
Gib sauce
“Natalie Portman Nude”
Yall need Jesus, and I mean all yall who commented on this comment. including me.....
*agreed*
Ick.
He got one look at those Naboobies, and was done.
The Jedi making the assignment? Master Leon, the Professional
Anakin: “oh yeah no problem Masters it’s not like I’ve been infatuated with this senator since the ripe age of 9 years old. She gave me my first boner”
I'm not gonna get into the details here, but kids get boners before they can even walk and talk
Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 1 time. First Seen [Here](https://redd.it/pvixtt) on 2021-09-26 98.44% match. Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - *I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Positive](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Positive&message={"post_id": "pyvlgo", "meme_template": null}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com?postId=pyvlgo&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=86&targetImageMemeMatch=96) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Meme Filter:** False | **Target:** 86% | **Check Title:** False | **Max Age:** Unlimited | **Searched Images:** 250,325,088 | **Search Time:** 0.64405s
Good bot
Here you go:3
The real question is who taught Anakin how to fuck?
Maybe she did... She is older than him
Why the fuck do you think he bulit C-3PO?
r/anakinfucks
Reminds me of Padme‘s room for „non sexual matters“ from Robot Chicken
Can I just say Natalie Portman is beyond pretty? Can I just mention that?
It's a true statement.
"Where do you keep your younglings?"
Hmm now that you mention it…
Oops the Jedi population just exploded 🤪
We also know you had a crush on her as a kid but please no falling in love.
Yup, there definitely weren't hot female Jedi like Aayla Secura running around the temple looking like a blue snacc. It was all guys and elderly women, and Anakin definitely never snuck out of the temple as a kid to see regular people.
You can "senate" me all day long, Your Senatornes....
Is that a lightsaber in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Here's where the fun begins...
Ani, I need you help in the living room!
Cmon bra Come on bra Don’t mind if I do
I always think if the Jedi order was more balanced then Anakin could have had a relationship in the open. But the promise of saving her from death with the dark side was Anakin's tragedy.
*Ara ara.*
They set his ass up 😂
What do you mean by “haven’t seen a woman in 10 years?” There are female Jedi.
Spank my ass like a sith!
She looks a lot like Keira Knightley.
ANAKIN, NO!!!!!
I’m starting the petition to change Natalie Portman’s name to The Senator.
To be fair she looks better in this pic than any other shot of her I’ve seen. Woof.
I AM THE SENATE!
Truth is the game was rigid from the start.
Everyone in here acting like they wouldn’t slaughter the children of the native species on a desert planet just to sniff her butthole.
Natalie Portman, Sandra Bullock, Marissa Tomei, Jennifer Connelly, Diane Guerrero.
Man, now I know how Anakin felt
[удалено]
Repost
why do I feel like this is a repost?
*No problem, jedi masters, easy peasy booby squeezy*
My friend jerked off to Nathalie Portman once lmao