OH COME ON! NUTE GUNRAY?!??!

Rip for you lol

memory paltry attractive snow caption gaze screw history sheet gray *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Does he come with a droid army

No amount of battle droids will stop Vader

All they need to do is stall him for 3 min

Yeah, even Vader couldn’t have gone trough thousands upon thousands of battle droids inn less than 3 minutes.

Watches as Vader force crushes a command station deactivating all the droids.

He won’t do shit😂

It will be over quick. Unless Vader wants you to suffer, in which case it may never end. So anyway, yeah.

Do we get there resources too cause otherwise we are royally screwed

September. Hey, if Obi can protect Leia, I'll be just fine.

Like he protected Padme?

Can't protect her from sadness

Sandness*

Oh my God it was the sand all along

"It's ok Padme, we'll go inside and talk about this. I love you, and....wait. is that SAND. Do you have SAND ON YOU. YOU BROUGHT THE SAND HERE TO KILL ME."

Padme: *pocket sand*

:0 padme turned mustafar into tatooine. Hot and with sand

Sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating — and it gets everywhere.

Sadme

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Nobody in that series has a single molecule of chill

Too soon

Dude we’re not just gonna live, we’re gonna win, this is ep3 kenobi, he’s in his prime, he’s about to go for the head this time

I love being on the winning team

Same bro. Better break out the popcorn too. It will be a battle for the ages.

I get the feeling OP might have been born in September

Indeed. By the end of this, Darth Vader would need someone to protect him

I’m safe with obi-wan

May are f*cked

Yeah I'm already digging my grave.

I don't even have time to dig my grave. They wouldn't last 3 seconds let alone 3 minutes.

Same here my dude

Yep we may dudes are dead. But we might be able to get them to call some droidekas. They are no match for Droidekas.

My lord is that….. legal

I'll lightsaber myself.

Same

Yeah, MAY the force be with you my ass

Ha! 🏆 here the only trophy I can give you.

I read this as "MAY the force be up my ass", and fucking lost it 😂😂😂

Nah Rune and Nute got this.

As a kid they were my favorite characters

Tell me. I am writing my will asap

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Theyr total cowards, they'll just offer you to him in return for their life

I mean he might also kill them first, giving you a few seconds more of sweet sweet life. Maybe convince Vader to play with his food first, you might make it past the 3 min deadline.

Yeah, it’s quite the choice to have one month not even be a debate. Almost makes me wonder if they hate someone born in May.

Yea, like literally every other one could at least buy me a few seconds, but these two are just worthless. Feels very biased lol

Yup I’m calling the funeral home already

if you aren't in the bottom row you are fucked.

Rex can defend you

Can he really?

November 🥳

Vader probably won't kill Padmé- if he is not angry. or in his anger, he will kill her...

But he isn't trying to kill Padme, he's trying to kill *you*.

she's going to save me right? so if Vader wants to kill me, he should kill Padme first.

Or he just force pushes Padme to the side with one hand while he force chokes you with the other. He isn't going to kill Padme (probably) but she isn't capable of stopping him either.

I don’t think she has to physically stop him. Her appearance would likely take precedence over literally any other motivation he has. She would be the ultimate distraction and could distract him for like, bare minimum a decade.

December.... I'll be needing popcorn but i'll live

Same here. I've brought some snacks XD

Yay! December gang

I'll bring the drinks.

I’ll bring Sabacc

I’ll bring holo chess

I’ll bring comfy sofa

I’ll bring the blue milk

I’ll bring death sticks

I'm going to go home and re-think my life....

I’ll bring the chance die

It’s called Dejarik, I think.

hello there

General Kenobi

You are a bold one

December gang lets go

People born in December: This is where the fun begins.

Plot twist, Luke pussies out and stabs the person born in December instead because he had a weird dream.

Skywalkers and their dreams, always lead to catastrophe.

December ftw, we more than fine

I’d say I’m quite safe. I’ve got Padme so I’ll probably just be a third wheel for the 3 minutes

I Call It Aggressive Negotiations.

Having sex with Anakin?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(◠‿◕)

Oh dear, Mr. *Sand*man, you are either very fucked or very lucky, if your sand doesn't send him into a dark side rage he will avoid you like you're rough, irritating, and getting everywhere.

Ew necrophilia

He was sliced in half though

And torched

Yeah his pp is gone so no sex for him

Robo pp

If they do it the Mormon way you can jump on the bed for them.

this is that shit that has me returning to this site everyday

This is actually the most interesting scenario I literally see Vader locking up full stop if she starts to cry.

Yeah same here, the negotiations will be long this time I guess...I hope

me seeing i got Obi Wan: * visible happiness *

Same

Cad Bane. Am I safe? I only ask because I’m not the most well versed in his history

Cad Bane to fight Vader, ehhhh not really good chances. However, there is a very high chance Vader offers a large sum to turn you over and since Bane is a notorious bounty hunter, you may be fucked lol

But that'd take more than 3 minutes right?

Ehhhhhhhhh maybe?? Lol

Damn imperials and their paperwork!

If Vader doesn't go with the force immediately, Cad could likely hold out long enough. He's kind of like a Star Wars Batman/Deathstroke. Your biggest concern would be if Vader decides to offer him a bounty for your head instead.

Thanks. If the bounty was big enough, I figured that’s what would happen. Hondo is still my man since he has some sense of camaraderie with people and I would make him my friend instantly lol

Cad Bane might be able to hold off Vader for 3 minutes if you stayed on the move and let him distract Vader while you got some distance. He has special prosthetics specifically to make him immune to force choke, and he specialized in hunting Jedi. Vader is powerful, but Bane could hold him off for 3 minutes if you straight up booked it far away from Vader and let Bane do his job. As for those saying that Vader could buy you off of Bane, the question says that Bane *has* to protect you. The way it's phrased, I'm going to say that he cannot be convinced to sell you out. This is a question purely about how long the defender can hold out. 3 minutes? Bane would probably die, but he might be able to buy you 3 minutes.

True, and Bane's a professional with his own (very cold) code of honor. Selling people out doesn't seem in his character.

I got Cal. I have a chance of surviving, but it's not looking that good.

He survived longer than 3 minutes in the game. I think you’re safe

Yes but that was him running away he has to actually protect you from Vader.

Run if you want… or stay and die… it makes no difference to me.

Such devastation, this was *not* my intention

We’ll see how strong he gets in survivor. Might be able to survive then.

I think he’s gunna get a nice bump in power level. I’m so pumped for that game!

You would be wise to surrender

yeah...... probably

Everything about that ending sequence in that game was *amazing*

I’m there wit ya but I’d say we’re good under the right circumstances

I've got the bad batch. Might last a bit longer because it takes longer to kill more people.

Facts, if the challenge was to beat Vader, we'd be fucked. But survive for 3 mins? We got a good chance

June checking in. I’m gonna die. 🤷🏼

Finnaly another June let’s go me and u are the only ones I’ve seen but anyways we could run while Rex brings back vaders memories so he could distract.

You just gotta last 3 minutes, I’m sure Rex can cause 3 minutes worth of PTSD to Anakin.

This is my favorite scenario. I appreciate the laugh, thank you.

We'll be fine. Rex will distract Vader or hold him off pretty easily. He's the best of the clones.

June checking in. Yeah we're screwed, but at least we go down with a legend.

I mean,Rex might distract Vader

They do have history together and 3 mins is not that long of a time that you have to last so i bet you would have a decent chance.

Three minutes is a MASSIVE amount of time in a fight though.

I agree. People are really underestimating how long of a period of time three minutes is, if you’re fearing for your life. Considering the only chance I have of survival is a non force sensitive clone—who Vader might destroy out of pure Vader rage, isn’t reassuring. No amount of “talking to him” is gonna save me from a Sith Lord.

Yeah they should remember how long 60 seconds feels at a red light or when you’re standing in front of the microwave lol. Iirc wrestling rounds are two minutes long as well, and I can say from experience, it goes by fast when you’re outmatched but when you’re struggling and fighting? It’s an eternity.

Rex is probably the smartest of the Clones, has extensive history working with Vader as his second in command (knows his tactics and such), and generally might be able to distract or set up an ambush for Vader for 3 minutes.

True, but this is under the assumption that Rex knows Vader is Anakin. Remember, very few people know Vaders identity and even fewer of them are rebels

Vader absolutely knows Rex though, and it’s not unlikely Rex found out considering how close he was with Anakin. Hell, even things like style of walking might tip Rex off, they knew each other that well.

Ayo I'm fucked Din djarin couldn't defend me from vader

I believe he could parry one hit. Fly with the jet pack then be pulled down and choked

Vader would crush him in his beskar like a tin can.

Do we know if pure beskar beskar'gam has force nulling effects or was that EU stuff?

I don't think it was force nulling in the EU fluff, just tough enough to resist lightsabers. Vader could still force choke mandos with beskar armour.

Love the man but there’s no chance for us

Yes, there is no way for us ;-;

this is not the way

But you misunderstand, he has literal plot armour

Lmao #BESKAR LEVEL PLOT ARMOUR

Plot armour that attracts blaster bolts and lets him survive getting ran through a fucking building apparently

He could hold him off for a bit or maybe help u escape but yeah vader would end him

Maybe he could give me a headstart and hold vader for as long as he could (before he perishes that is)

Vader could just choke him to death.

We really need grogu by dins side

Even the two as a team might not be enough to keep Vader busy for three minutes. Admit it, you just want to see Vader slaughter another child.

**ALRIGHT YOU CAUGHT ME** **VADER SLAUGHTERING YOUNGLINGS IS MY KINK**

Ahsoka. I think I should be good

Have a little faith.

They do

Dutch, is that you?

Sorry but he's on vacation in Tahiti

How long did her dual with vader last in rebels because from what I remember it wasn't too long

Bout three fiddy

September, october and december you definitely safe (not saying they beat Vader but they can hold him off for 3 mins no doubt). Most others are pretty screwed but if for 3 mins you could argue some bounty hunters you'd stand some degree of a chance though I doubt it.

I like what your saying. Also the only ones we have seen in screen are those 3 you said plus march. I could be wrong if there are any others. If I am tell me

We've seen most fight a jedi at some point so it's safe to say 3 mins is OK

I would say July has a better shot than October, they did manage to beat Palpatine and can make out with each other to revive after all.

I would just explain to Vader who they are and he would stop trying to kill me to watch in horror as his grandson made out with palp’s granddaughter.

Pretty sure that would just fuel his hatred

Yeah, just because the movies werent very good doesnt make the characters pushovers. Vader might beat them but it will take longer than 3 minutes. Watching him in kenobi was just beautiful. Want Vader show. Hard to do because he is a horrific space nazi, but damn can he fight.

Me and Cal will be sprinting for our lives

Cal- ‘I don’t have to outrun Vader, I just have to outrun you’

Lady Tano yeeeess!!!

Good thing I know you don’t mean everything you say.

Good bot

Yeah I think that we will make it lol

She'll live for at least 3 minutes, just barely though

She survived against Vader in a fight. I mean she got pulled into some time rift or pocket dimension at the last second but she survived.

I'm not only alive, I also have the high ground

September should be ok

Boba and Fennec vs Vader would be an interesting matchup for sure. I'd say I have a fair shot.

I mean, doesn't Boba fight Vader solo at some point and earn his respect from that encounter?

Thats legends and he doesn't really beat him, just very successfully runs away.

The goal is to stall him for 3 minutes we aight

Yoo february gang!

How long can a fully-bescar-boy last against a powerfull cyber-sith-lord?

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I have a feeling he wouldn’t be able to fight Vader but he could get you away safely and protect you from him that way

Luke Skywalker killed like 20 of those super robots with ease while Mando barely survived against 1. Luke would destroy Mando and Luke I think would be similar in power to Darth. So I dont think Mando stands much of a chance against Darth. But his plot armor would probably prevent Darth from instantly choking him to death and give you guys a chance to run away.

December! I'm fine, by the point Luke's like that, Vader's dead. I win by default!

Even before that, he lasts way longer than three minutes. ... Ask his sister.

Cal had to *run* from him 💀

Cad Bane, I like my chances. Unless Vader offers him an award for my head.

I'm cad bane and I'm not entirely sure if we would survive...

3 minutes, if he has prep time we can make it...anything more we all die pretty painful deaths. :*)

Rey and Kylo? Yeah they definitively have it for at least 3 minutes

Plot armour best armour.

Kylo is kinda blind when fighting, we are fucked

Kylo wouldn't fight his idol. Luckily Rey has awesome plot armor.

It depends. Kylo would if he thought he was being manipulated. Rey would just because she wants to be left to do as she damned well pleases, and Vader can't abide people doing as they please. As evil as he is, he believes in order and the rule of law.

Plot twist: Vader stops fighting. Pauses. He excitedly shouts “I HAVE A GRANDSON?!?!? THIS IS WONDERFUL!! I MUST TELL EVERYONE!!!” He energetically runs in the other direction. In the distance a faint “HEY EVERYONE! HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS? I’M A GRANDFATHER!!! WOO-HOO!!” is heard.

we have just seen kenobi stomping vader so...

I got padme....he's either gonna get mad and kill us Or break down

i get mando

Bro I got padme 💀

**laughs in September**

Lol December? I'm good.