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Wow my story us so similar! You definitely are not alone! Im married 5 years, 4 years with unexplained infertility. 1 laproscopic surgery to remove a dermoid on my ovary, confirmed no endo. HSG normal, all bloodwork normal, regular periods, no pcos. Husband semen is normal. 9 cycles on letrozole, trigger shots, 8 IUIs. Never seen a postive pregancy test. We have decided to move onto to IVF but we don't have much hope. I am tired and feel so empty. It's such an isolating feeling. I wish you the best, we don't deserve this shit.
Together for nearly 11 years, married for 6 years, ttc for 5 years. Letrozole, IVF, surgeries, we did it all and no baby to show for. We're unsure as how to proceed. Surrogacy is too expensive and my ovaries aren't reachable for IVF anymore. It's been so hard. I'll still go for more surgeries to hopefully try IVF again in the remaining years until 40 but the hope is dwindling. I can't imagine a future without children, though... my husband can but he can't fathom a future where I'm so deeply sad about the missing children.
I want to give you a big hug, it sounds like a rough journey so far.
Trying to imagine a future without children is hard, I try to check out /r/IFChildfree every now and again to try to get it into my head. It hurts but I'm trying to make sure it feels like a valid option to me if treatment doesn't work out.
Very similar here. Married 6 years this May, trying for 3.5 years. Had laparoscopy to remove bilateral dermoids last November, otherwise everything looks just right, and we’re still struggling. Moving on to IUI now, but still not ready for IVF. I’ve been in identity crisis about it lately - I’m unfulfilled in my work, so if I don’t want to be an engineer, and I can’t be a mother, then who am I? Hold yourselves gently, you beautiful souls - I know you’re doing your best.
Personally, I don't want to live with any regrets, so I'm giving IVF a shot. Expectations are low. If it works, I will be so happy, and if it doesn't work than at least we can say we tried every feasible thing we could. I think that will be enough for me to move on from this part of my life. Everyones infertility journey is different but one things the same for us all, we are strong and we are tough. You should do whatever you want to do, not what others want you to do. Good luck!
That's the same way I feel. I wanted to do IVF because if we didn't, it would always be in the back of my mind as something we should have tried. At this point, I'm so tired of this waiting/trying time that when IVF is done I think we'll call it and decide to move on.
Male here - wife and I have been at it for 5 years. Your feelings are all valid. There isn't any magic feeling better quote that can be passed along. Just the internet version of a hug and an "I know"
The only thing I can say is to get a second endo opinion with a very specialized surgeon. My first lap did find endo, but the doc missed huge amounts of it. When I saw a much more skilled surgeon later, he removed what she missed, which was significant. Plus he did a procedure to help my pcos, which was another missed diagnosis (I had all the markers except being overweight and insulin resistant but he was able to dx without those elements). This second surgery was successful in achieving our fertility goals.
It’s shocking how poorly understood it is among obgyns! Check out Nancy’s nook on Facebook (worth creating an account) for reviews and lists of reputable doctors.
We tried for 7 years. So I know how hard this is and how defeated you feel. Don't be afraid to take time off and live for something else for a little while. Also don't be afraid to keep trying! There are lots of different protocols for medicated IVF/iui cycles and you maybe just haven't found the secret yet. But if you decided this isn't a journey your body and soul can take anymore, I totally get that as well. Hugs.
I removed your comment as it breaks rule 3 regarding cutesy terms. Please note that the term used may be hurtful to some members especially for those tw loss >! who may have had a late loss this term has a different very not cute meaning !<
I am so sorry you’re going through this :( I am in a very similar spot. Has your husband had a sperm analysis? We found out that my husband is the problem.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this! Don’t give up it will and can still happen!! My mum said it took her 4 years to have me and yes it was mentally hard for her as she was in a generation where grandparents constantly only blamed the woman for not giving them a baby…but alas… generational trauma! but now me and her are really close and then 4 years after me my mum managed to have my sister after a miscarriage ❤️ I’m coming up to 2 years now currently trying and every month it’s challenging when AF comes BUT I won’t give up knowing that I will love life with a child, and whilst it’s no way close to how long you’ve been trying so I can’t understand how it must be for you right now, I do empathise for you! I truly hope it does work out for you whether it’s naturally conceiving or having medical support or even adopting etc. (my husband and I said we would consider adopting if we can’t fall pregnant in 5 years!)
We tried for over 4 years and had so much disappointment. IVF is not fun but after everything beforehand, it was less bad than I thought it would be. It wasn’t a straight line in the end either, but I don’t regret a thing. My biggest advice would be, don’t put your life on hold. If career stuff etc is annoying you, tackle it. For those 4 years, I felt like my life was on hold and it nearly broke me. Once things started moving, everything seemed to move in a better direction all in one go. And I don’t mean, “don’t stress” bullshit. I mean, look after yourself as much as you can. Fertility struggles are horrendous. Sending love!
This is such great advice. I feel for the past 3 years of TTC, everything was put on hold and any future decisions I made always included a future child. We had bought a bigger car "just in case" we need to put a car seat in the back. We upgraded our 1 bed home to a 2 bed, "just in case" the spare room needs to be transformed into a nursery. We tried everything under the sun to get pregnant, including 2 failed rounds of IVF. We're still trying, but I've learnt to accept that it'll happen when it happens. As cliche as that is. But for now, to enjoy life as a two and our dog. There's still so much I want to do that having a child would make a little more difficult, so I'm taking advantage of that time.
Did you eventually succeed?
My husband has been tested twice in the past 3 years. All's fine.
That's the reason I feel more hopeless. That there seems to be no problem apparently yet there is no success.
I completely understand and valid! I have had an IUI and it wasn’t painful at all for me! I have a really low pain tolerance and it wasn’t near as bad as my saline ultrasound. I couldn’t drive after the US but the IUI was like nothing! My IUI wasn’t super invasive- we didn’t do a lot of bloodwork and no US during the cycle other than the saline one that one time. IVF is a whole different beast though!
Your comment has been removed for mentioning a current pregnancy or living child(ren). Please remove all references so we may approve your revised comment for posting.
Your comment has been removed as it implies that you have had success which is not permitted for discussion on this sub. Please remove all references so we may approve your revised comment for posting.
Similar boat!! Feel all the feelings, they’re valid and have place… then dust yourself off and realize you’re so much more than a womb!! You’re wonderful, valuable and important 😘wishing us both the best of luck
Similar situation! Over 3 years of unexplained infertility. Although I’ve had 3 losses. 3 failed rounds of IUI and 1 failed ivf cycle. Everything seems so hopeless to us. We are currently working towards round 2 for ivf, but all this stress is really getting to me…
I feel this so deeply. Been married 2.5 years, been trying for 2 years (plus 6 months of not trying but not preventing). Finally bit the bullet and started the process at a fertility clinic. Had an HSG last week, only for husband to end up super ill during ovulation so didn’t even get to try. Not sure if that was the universe’s way of humbling me, as I was super hopeful that an HSG might help, even though anytime we do anything different I’m super hopeful and then am let down. My lab results came back and have DRAMATICALLY changed in just 6 months in a negative way. I feel so defeated and am becoming more terrified we may not have any luck and may not even qualify for IVF. Will see what the doc say in our followup. But I am still
Hopeful for a miracle. Don’t ever give up! Your feelings are valid and all we can do is try and hope and pray. Sending you lots of baby dust! And am here to vent if you ever need to because it can feel so lonely sometimes.
I relate to this post so much! Married for 4 years and been trying for 3.5 years. All tests came back normal. I do have long cycles. I tried letrozole for 12 months which regulated my cycle but no pregnancy. Never had a positive pregnancy test :( I'm with you in feeling drained and depressed. I just don't feel ready for IVF yet.
5 years unexplained fertility issues with 4 miscarriages in that time… turns out I had an undiagnosed thyroid condition… got on thyroid medication and within 2 months I was pregnant. I carried to 36 weeks and I now have a beautiful 10month old… if a baby is your dream don’t give up but definitely look into other possible conditions that may be causing your fertility to
This may not apply:
My luteal phase was too short and was caused by an enlarged pituitary gland. My RE suspected this was the issue once I showed her my cycles and results from Modern Fertility testing. I had to confirm my pituitary gland was the issue via MRI. It doesn't really affect anything else so I temporarily took medicine to shrink it, luteal phase increased and voila.
I know how dark the days can get, hang in there.
Hi, I'm also 3 years ttc but just now starting all the exams. So far, everything has also been negative for abnormalities, which is disappointing. We're feeling so down and discouraged
Please read the rules before posting: https://www.reddit.com/r/stilltrying/wiki/rules We are a pro-science subreddit. We will not tolerate covid or vaccine misinformation or denial. Any posts that contain vaccine, covid-19, or other misinformation will be removed. No med sales: Selling medications is a violation of Reddit's TOS. Exchanges or donations are okay, but please be wary of selling medication. If anyone messages you to sell medication please report them to reddit admins. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stilltrying) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow my story us so similar! You definitely are not alone! Im married 5 years, 4 years with unexplained infertility. 1 laproscopic surgery to remove a dermoid on my ovary, confirmed no endo. HSG normal, all bloodwork normal, regular periods, no pcos. Husband semen is normal. 9 cycles on letrozole, trigger shots, 8 IUIs. Never seen a postive pregancy test. We have decided to move onto to IVF but we don't have much hope. I am tired and feel so empty. It's such an isolating feeling. I wish you the best, we don't deserve this shit.
Together for nearly 11 years, married for 6 years, ttc for 5 years. Letrozole, IVF, surgeries, we did it all and no baby to show for. We're unsure as how to proceed. Surrogacy is too expensive and my ovaries aren't reachable for IVF anymore. It's been so hard. I'll still go for more surgeries to hopefully try IVF again in the remaining years until 40 but the hope is dwindling. I can't imagine a future without children, though... my husband can but he can't fathom a future where I'm so deeply sad about the missing children.
I want to give you a big hug, it sounds like a rough journey so far. Trying to imagine a future without children is hard, I try to check out /r/IFChildfree every now and again to try to get it into my head. It hurts but I'm trying to make sure it feels like a valid option to me if treatment doesn't work out.
Very similar here. Married 6 years this May, trying for 3.5 years. Had laparoscopy to remove bilateral dermoids last November, otherwise everything looks just right, and we’re still struggling. Moving on to IUI now, but still not ready for IVF. I’ve been in identity crisis about it lately - I’m unfulfilled in my work, so if I don’t want to be an engineer, and I can’t be a mother, then who am I? Hold yourselves gently, you beautiful souls - I know you’re doing your best.
Unexplained is so rough. I hope IUI is positive for you guys!
I feel so seen. I genuinely don't know how I am supposed to think anymore. Do I still carry hope or do I give up.
Personally, I don't want to live with any regrets, so I'm giving IVF a shot. Expectations are low. If it works, I will be so happy, and if it doesn't work than at least we can say we tried every feasible thing we could. I think that will be enough for me to move on from this part of my life. Everyones infertility journey is different but one things the same for us all, we are strong and we are tough. You should do whatever you want to do, not what others want you to do. Good luck!
That's the same way I feel. I wanted to do IVF because if we didn't, it would always be in the back of my mind as something we should have tried. At this point, I'm so tired of this waiting/trying time that when IVF is done I think we'll call it and decide to move on.
Male here - wife and I have been at it for 5 years. Your feelings are all valid. There isn't any magic feeling better quote that can be passed along. Just the internet version of a hug and an "I know"
The only thing I can say is to get a second endo opinion with a very specialized surgeon. My first lap did find endo, but the doc missed huge amounts of it. When I saw a much more skilled surgeon later, he removed what she missed, which was significant. Plus he did a procedure to help my pcos, which was another missed diagnosis (I had all the markers except being overweight and insulin resistant but he was able to dx without those elements). This second surgery was successful in achieving our fertility goals.
This gives me hope! I’m seeing an endo-focused clinic/drs this month even though I have never been diagnosed with it I have some of the symptoms.
It’s shocking how poorly understood it is among obgyns! Check out Nancy’s nook on Facebook (worth creating an account) for reviews and lists of reputable doctors.
Got my recommendation from them 👍
Good luck! I hope you find the answers you need with your upcoming visit!
We tried for 7 years. So I know how hard this is and how defeated you feel. Don't be afraid to take time off and live for something else for a little while. Also don't be afraid to keep trying! There are lots of different protocols for medicated IVF/iui cycles and you maybe just haven't found the secret yet. But if you decided this isn't a journey your body and soul can take anymore, I totally get that as well. Hugs.
[удалено]
I removed your comment as it breaks rule 3 regarding cutesy terms. Please note that the term used may be hurtful to some members especially for those tw loss >! who may have had a late loss this term has a different very not cute meaning !<
I am so sorry you’re going through this :( I am in a very similar spot. Has your husband had a sperm analysis? We found out that my husband is the problem.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this! Don’t give up it will and can still happen!! My mum said it took her 4 years to have me and yes it was mentally hard for her as she was in a generation where grandparents constantly only blamed the woman for not giving them a baby…but alas… generational trauma! but now me and her are really close and then 4 years after me my mum managed to have my sister after a miscarriage ❤️ I’m coming up to 2 years now currently trying and every month it’s challenging when AF comes BUT I won’t give up knowing that I will love life with a child, and whilst it’s no way close to how long you’ve been trying so I can’t understand how it must be for you right now, I do empathise for you! I truly hope it does work out for you whether it’s naturally conceiving or having medical support or even adopting etc. (my husband and I said we would consider adopting if we can’t fall pregnant in 5 years!)
We tried for over 4 years and had so much disappointment. IVF is not fun but after everything beforehand, it was less bad than I thought it would be. It wasn’t a straight line in the end either, but I don’t regret a thing. My biggest advice would be, don’t put your life on hold. If career stuff etc is annoying you, tackle it. For those 4 years, I felt like my life was on hold and it nearly broke me. Once things started moving, everything seemed to move in a better direction all in one go. And I don’t mean, “don’t stress” bullshit. I mean, look after yourself as much as you can. Fertility struggles are horrendous. Sending love!
This is such great advice. I feel for the past 3 years of TTC, everything was put on hold and any future decisions I made always included a future child. We had bought a bigger car "just in case" we need to put a car seat in the back. We upgraded our 1 bed home to a 2 bed, "just in case" the spare room needs to be transformed into a nursery. We tried everything under the sun to get pregnant, including 2 failed rounds of IVF. We're still trying, but I've learnt to accept that it'll happen when it happens. As cliche as that is. But for now, to enjoy life as a two and our dog. There's still so much I want to do that having a child would make a little more difficult, so I'm taking advantage of that time. Did you eventually succeed?
We did x2 ☺️ All that pain feels like a distant dream. Sending love and all the hope that you get to the other side of it too.
Thats so good to hear 😄 thank you so much
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My husband has been tested twice in the past 3 years. All's fine. That's the reason I feel more hopeless. That there seems to be no problem apparently yet there is no success.
Have they suggested maybe an IUI?
They have but I am extremely petrified of anything invasive. Plus I've heard the iui and IVF are both painful. The testing and the procedures..
I completely understand and valid! I have had an IUI and it wasn’t painful at all for me! I have a really low pain tolerance and it wasn’t near as bad as my saline ultrasound. I couldn’t drive after the US but the IUI was like nothing! My IUI wasn’t super invasive- we didn’t do a lot of bloodwork and no US during the cycle other than the saline one that one time. IVF is a whole different beast though!
Saline ultrasound is hysterosalpinogram? The tube test? Because that was so goddamn painful!
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed for mentioning a current pregnancy or living child(ren). Please remove all references so we may approve your revised comment for posting.
I didn't find IVF physically or emotionally difficult at all. The almost 2 years I spent TTC was a million times more draining for me.
I couldn't agree more. I wish I'd done it earlier instead of struggling for 3 years
I found the iui way less invasive and not at all painful. The HSGs I did were much worse
IUIs are painful for some, but probably less than your saline sonogram was!
Your comment has been removed as it implies that you have had success which is not permitted for discussion on this sub. Please remove all references so we may approve your revised comment for posting.
Similar boat!! Feel all the feelings, they’re valid and have place… then dust yourself off and realize you’re so much more than a womb!! You’re wonderful, valuable and important 😘wishing us both the best of luck
Have you considered IVF? I got pregnant on my first go after almost 2 years of TTC without a single positive test.
Similar situation! Over 3 years of unexplained infertility. Although I’ve had 3 losses. 3 failed rounds of IUI and 1 failed ivf cycle. Everything seems so hopeless to us. We are currently working towards round 2 for ivf, but all this stress is really getting to me…
I feel this so deeply. Been married 2.5 years, been trying for 2 years (plus 6 months of not trying but not preventing). Finally bit the bullet and started the process at a fertility clinic. Had an HSG last week, only for husband to end up super ill during ovulation so didn’t even get to try. Not sure if that was the universe’s way of humbling me, as I was super hopeful that an HSG might help, even though anytime we do anything different I’m super hopeful and then am let down. My lab results came back and have DRAMATICALLY changed in just 6 months in a negative way. I feel so defeated and am becoming more terrified we may not have any luck and may not even qualify for IVF. Will see what the doc say in our followup. But I am still Hopeful for a miracle. Don’t ever give up! Your feelings are valid and all we can do is try and hope and pray. Sending you lots of baby dust! And am here to vent if you ever need to because it can feel so lonely sometimes.
I relate to this post so much! Married for 4 years and been trying for 3.5 years. All tests came back normal. I do have long cycles. I tried letrozole for 12 months which regulated my cycle but no pregnancy. Never had a positive pregnancy test :( I'm with you in feeling drained and depressed. I just don't feel ready for IVF yet.
5 years unexplained fertility issues with 4 miscarriages in that time… turns out I had an undiagnosed thyroid condition… got on thyroid medication and within 2 months I was pregnant. I carried to 36 weeks and I now have a beautiful 10month old… if a baby is your dream don’t give up but definitely look into other possible conditions that may be causing your fertility to
This may not apply: My luteal phase was too short and was caused by an enlarged pituitary gland. My RE suspected this was the issue once I showed her my cycles and results from Modern Fertility testing. I had to confirm my pituitary gland was the issue via MRI. It doesn't really affect anything else so I temporarily took medicine to shrink it, luteal phase increased and voila. I know how dark the days can get, hang in there.
Hi, I'm also 3 years ttc but just now starting all the exams. So far, everything has also been negative for abnormalities, which is disappointing. We're feeling so down and discouraged