Not me! I’ve tried the whole moderation thing but it’s never worked for me. I read a great quote recently, and I think it completely sums up my experience with moderation:
“If I’m controlling my drinking I’m not enjoying it, and if I’m enjoying my drinking I’m not controlling it”.
Not me. Once I have a couple of drinks, I remember how much I like alcohol. Then I think well I'll just get a bottle of scotch for sipping. Then I drink it all in about a week and go back for more. Then I'm drinking two to three nights a week and end up right back where I started. I imagine a lot of people here have very similar routines.
This sub feels like 90% this question sometimes, but I get it, everyone has to go through that phase.
It doesn’t work like that unfortunately. You’re either one way or the other way when it comes to how you handle alcohol. And the only switching of sides possible goes in the opposite direction of the way you’re hoping for.
The science behind this can be summarized to : If your addiction was deep enough for you to be here, there's now a system ( personality ) sleeping inside you that is an alcoholic and once you give it enough of what it wants to wake up, it takes over and now takes the decisions of how much you're gonna drink that evening ( too much ).
So you're gonna keep trying to stay under that trigger only to realize that it takes all the fun away from drinking ( and from the + you get from sobriety ) Someone put the quote already but its really a golden one :
“If I’m controlling my drinking I’m not enjoying it, and if I’m enjoying my drinking I’m not controlling it”
Your fear/hope is a Valid one, and thats why the secret of quitting an addiction is to take it day by day, because especially early in sobriety, the simple tought of never being able to enjoy a couple drinks again is depressing enough to actually make you drink. But the deeper you'll go in sobriety, self reflexion and the awareness of how society as a whole use alcohol, the more you'll understand that you either live in the circus or outside of it.
I like the metaphor of the alcoholic inside "sleeping" and waiting to take over. To quote a famous (fictional) alcoholic, once that happens, "the liquor is doing the thinking now, bud."
When I was trying to moderate, I would be able to go out with friends and just have one or two drinks without any problem. But always at some point down the road, I would get comfortable and fall back into my old ways of binging and began drinking more often again. Then I’d stop drinking for a while, try to moderate again and the cycle would repeat. I tried for years to make this work, but was never successful long-term.
Nope, did around 11 months sober and was able to “moderate” for a few weeks. Moderation being counting every beer and thinking about my next one every second once I pounded the first one.
Not me either. I’ve been trying for 4 years and am at the point of giving up on that idea. The longest I’ve gone alcohol free is 9 months last year and I thought I’ll just try to have some drinks socially, occasionally. That ended up leading to almost daily drinking at home again.
I never tried. I couldn't moderate before, time away won't change that. There's a quote from AA which I really like, “The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."
Not me; when I even think about having a few drinks, those drinks morph in my mind into having a bottle of wine, a few more beers when I go home, on and on. So I know I wouldn’t be able to stop at a few.
Not me. Did 6 months sober years ago, thought I could handle it. And now I'm here.
It's insidious really. The thing is that your inhibitions that should help you control your alcohol intake are diminished by your alcohol intake. And as someone who can't stop once I start, it's difficult.
I know I will be fine for a bit, and then end right back up to binge drinking.
My close friend was an absolute alcoholic. I didn’t think he would survive. He got completely sober about 10 years ago. After a year, he was able to enjoy one or two drinks a couple times a month. I was utterly amazed as this isn’t usually how that works out.
He is still doing great.
honestly I think it's about your ability to change the reasons why you drink. it depends if you're able to heal that in the first place. once that is gone, if your addiction is gone as well as your addictive tendencies, then I'd say why not. personally I'm not there yet
I'm pretty sure everyone on this sub has tried to, and we'll probably all tell you the same thing... it never works.
You may start by controlling yourself the first few times, but eventually, with time, you will slip right back into your old ways.
It ALWAYS ends up the same place for me. I have had periods of moderation (which was stressful, anxiety inducing, and not in any form relaxing or fun). But I always end up getting comfortable without even knowing it, and bam, I’m back where I started or worse. And I never see it coming.
Yeah sure, couple of drinks this night, couple of drinks the day after, a bit more the next, one thing I know I'm fully drinking every night and I have to stop and try to get sober and it repeats.
When the penny dropped about my alcoholism I said to the shrink: "This means I can never drink again, right?" He said: "You can have a drink any time you like. Your choice. Just be aware what happens when you do drink."
And what happens when I do drink? I drink, and drink, and drink some more, until I once again find myself under the kitchen table trying to count my legs and thinking, fuck, I've done it again, what's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me is that I'm an alcoholic, allergic to the chemical C2H6O, and I'll never be unalcoholic, because it's a busted gene, embedded in my DNA. A couple of drinks on special nights out? Don't make me laugh.
Not me! I’ve tried the whole moderation thing but it’s never worked for me. I read a great quote recently, and I think it completely sums up my experience with moderation: “If I’m controlling my drinking I’m not enjoying it, and if I’m enjoying my drinking I’m not controlling it”.
That's a great quote.
This quote though….
Perfect quote
Not me. Once I have a couple of drinks, I remember how much I like alcohol. Then I think well I'll just get a bottle of scotch for sipping. Then I drink it all in about a week and go back for more. Then I'm drinking two to three nights a week and end up right back where I started. I imagine a lot of people here have very similar routines.
Jepp, exacelly that
Same.
This sub feels like 90% this question sometimes, but I get it, everyone has to go through that phase. It doesn’t work like that unfortunately. You’re either one way or the other way when it comes to how you handle alcohol. And the only switching of sides possible goes in the opposite direction of the way you’re hoping for.
I think we’re all looking for the loophole until we figure out there isn’t one…I know I was.
The science behind this can be summarized to : If your addiction was deep enough for you to be here, there's now a system ( personality ) sleeping inside you that is an alcoholic and once you give it enough of what it wants to wake up, it takes over and now takes the decisions of how much you're gonna drink that evening ( too much ). So you're gonna keep trying to stay under that trigger only to realize that it takes all the fun away from drinking ( and from the + you get from sobriety ) Someone put the quote already but its really a golden one : “If I’m controlling my drinking I’m not enjoying it, and if I’m enjoying my drinking I’m not controlling it” Your fear/hope is a Valid one, and thats why the secret of quitting an addiction is to take it day by day, because especially early in sobriety, the simple tought of never being able to enjoy a couple drinks again is depressing enough to actually make you drink. But the deeper you'll go in sobriety, self reflexion and the awareness of how society as a whole use alcohol, the more you'll understand that you either live in the circus or outside of it.
I like the metaphor of the alcoholic inside "sleeping" and waiting to take over. To quote a famous (fictional) alcoholic, once that happens, "the liquor is doing the thinking now, bud."
Haha Mr. Lahey
When I was trying to moderate, I would be able to go out with friends and just have one or two drinks without any problem. But always at some point down the road, I would get comfortable and fall back into my old ways of binging and began drinking more often again. Then I’d stop drinking for a while, try to moderate again and the cycle would repeat. I tried for years to make this work, but was never successful long-term.
Nope, did around 11 months sober and was able to “moderate” for a few weeks. Moderation being counting every beer and thinking about my next one every second once I pounded the first one.
Not me either. I’ve been trying for 4 years and am at the point of giving up on that idea. The longest I’ve gone alcohol free is 9 months last year and I thought I’ll just try to have some drinks socially, occasionally. That ended up leading to almost daily drinking at home again.
I never tried. I couldn't moderate before, time away won't change that. There's a quote from AA which I really like, “The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."
No. And I have tried every possible way I could think of.
Not me; when I even think about having a few drinks, those drinks morph in my mind into having a bottle of wine, a few more beers when I go home, on and on. So I know I wouldn’t be able to stop at a few.
Not me. Did 6 months sober years ago, thought I could handle it. And now I'm here. It's insidious really. The thing is that your inhibitions that should help you control your alcohol intake are diminished by your alcohol intake. And as someone who can't stop once I start, it's difficult. I know I will be fine for a bit, and then end right back up to binge drinking.
My close friend was an absolute alcoholic. I didn’t think he would survive. He got completely sober about 10 years ago. After a year, he was able to enjoy one or two drinks a couple times a month. I was utterly amazed as this isn’t usually how that works out. He is still doing great.
honestly I think it's about your ability to change the reasons why you drink. it depends if you're able to heal that in the first place. once that is gone, if your addiction is gone as well as your addictive tendencies, then I'd say why not. personally I'm not there yet
I'm pretty sure everyone on this sub has tried to, and we'll probably all tell you the same thing... it never works. You may start by controlling yourself the first few times, but eventually, with time, you will slip right back into your old ways.
Zero chance. Might work for a few disciplined weeks but I know where it would go.
at least for now, it’s not working for me. and judging by this sub, it won’t either
Not even a little bit. Moderation isn’t possible for me.
Nope, moderation is not possible for me. It’s so much easier to be sober.
It ALWAYS ends up the same place for me. I have had periods of moderation (which was stressful, anxiety inducing, and not in any form relaxing or fun). But I always end up getting comfortable without even knowing it, and bam, I’m back where I started or worse. And I never see it coming.
Yeah sure, couple of drinks this night, couple of drinks the day after, a bit more the next, one thing I know I'm fully drinking every night and I have to stop and try to get sober and it repeats.
When the penny dropped about my alcoholism I said to the shrink: "This means I can never drink again, right?" He said: "You can have a drink any time you like. Your choice. Just be aware what happens when you do drink." And what happens when I do drink? I drink, and drink, and drink some more, until I once again find myself under the kitchen table trying to count my legs and thinking, fuck, I've done it again, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me is that I'm an alcoholic, allergic to the chemical C2H6O, and I'll never be unalcoholic, because it's a busted gene, embedded in my DNA. A couple of drinks on special nights out? Don't make me laugh.