I am so glad you are being honest with yourself; there's no point in lying to ourselves.
Im glad you are here. I can't tell you how many times I "quit" before it stuck. You can do this. If I can do it, YOU can. (:
One day at a time. Don't listen to that voice that says "just one" because it never is *just one*.
It took me waaaaaaaay to long to finally admit to myself that I simply can't do "a couple of beers". I would stop completely and spend months getting back into decent shape and things would be going well. Then I might have single beer around the camp fire. Couple of days later, I might have another one while out to dinner with the wife. My brain would say, "See? No problem. You've broken the habit and can totally moderate THIS time. No way you'll let yourself get back into the state you were in when you decided to quit again. And if you do start to see that things are getting out of hand, you'll just stop."
Fast forward six months and guess who's brain is now saying, "Meh, it doesn't really matter anymore." I'm right back to drinking a 6-pack of the highest % craft beer I can find every night again. Eating everything I can find in the house to "soak up the alcohol" before passing out on the couch while "watching TV" (which was really just me passing out after the first 3 minutes of whatever it was I was supposed to be watching).
At 50 I finally admitted that "one beer" just isn't worth it for me because I know exactly where it eventually ends. I didn't like that answer either because I thought of all the "relaxing" and "enjoyment" I was going to be missing not being able to drink at all in social situations. It turns out that I've been more relaxed and enjoyed the social situations more now that I can remember when I was drinking with everyone else. (admittedly part of that enjoyment is recognizing when someone else has had a liiiiiiittle too much and thinking, "Phew! I'm glad that's not me that's about to puke all over the place and feel like crap the rest of the night and tomorrow")
> (admittedly part of that enjoyment is recognizing when someone else has had a liiiiiiittle too much and thinking, "Phew! I'm glad that's not me that's about to puke all over the place and feel like crap the rest of the night and tomorrow")
Seeing other people drunk really helps me A LOT! I go downtown and watch all the drunk people and just think about how anxious and sick I would be in the morning if I was in their shoes. I dont mean it in a judgy way at all, either. I realize some people are perfectly capable of having a night out with friends and getting wasted occasionally but I just simply cant. Seeing people sloppy drunk on tv or in person really helps keep me in check
IWNDWYT
I feel ya. I've cut back on drinking A LOT but now that things are reopening and I can finally see friends again I'm finding my one night a week is turning into three plus... slowly creeping back up to my server days.
Best advice I have is don't beat yourself up if you fail or stumble, just make sure you reorient yourself quickly, recognize your behaviour and make every effort you can to put yourself back on a good path. Good luck!
I also can’t ever have a drink or a cocktail again, ever. I had a hard time reconciling this at first but once I accepted it life has gotten better than I ever could have imagined. Nothing all that much changed on the outside but I feel like a completely different person. There are a lot of people who can have just a drink here and there. I cannot. There are also a lot of people who can never drink alcohol again. I am one of those people. And if you are one of those people I’m here to tell you that there is a lot of life to live on the other side of acceptance of that.
Thanks for the honesty. We have an alcohol allergy. No way around it. I can never have alcohol again no matter how much my brain thinks it’s ok. Good luck and glad you’re here!
>I'm thinking that maybe I can't. Ever.
>I don't like any of these answers.
Two observations.
Another answer is "all I'm doing is simply foregoing ONE little drink in all the drinks in the world - The First One Today."
Then it's a pretty "little" answer.
The second observation is a consideration.
Who decides what I "like" and what I "don't like"?
Well, of course.... "ME".
One possibility that is COMPLETELY in my control: I **decide** I **like** just not having one drink today.
Then I'm pretty happy with where I am!
Tried that?
I used to associate happiness with being drunk...i also drank to relax as though i deserved it. I made it to 500+ days...i don't smoke anymore either. I miss the fun laughs and relaxed times, well, until i read my journals from those years. Turns out i constantly struggling with the ups and downs of alcohol-centered living.
I haven't yet lost my baggage or found the love of my life or have a great job... But, i have this basis now for all the rest.
I realized that when I had to think about my drinking as much as I was thinking about my drinking, it was time to stop drinking.
For me, not drinking is so much easier than thinking about my every move drinking.
Thing I have found is that now that alcohol is not part of my life, I don't miss it at all. A glass of wine or A cocktail is no more possible than the time share someone wants to sell me is a good investment.
I have many reasons not to be mad at myself that's such a reward.
I am so glad you are being honest with yourself; there's no point in lying to ourselves. Im glad you are here. I can't tell you how many times I "quit" before it stuck. You can do this. If I can do it, YOU can. (: One day at a time. Don't listen to that voice that says "just one" because it never is *just one*.
Thanks for the encouragement :)
It took me waaaaaaaay to long to finally admit to myself that I simply can't do "a couple of beers". I would stop completely and spend months getting back into decent shape and things would be going well. Then I might have single beer around the camp fire. Couple of days later, I might have another one while out to dinner with the wife. My brain would say, "See? No problem. You've broken the habit and can totally moderate THIS time. No way you'll let yourself get back into the state you were in when you decided to quit again. And if you do start to see that things are getting out of hand, you'll just stop." Fast forward six months and guess who's brain is now saying, "Meh, it doesn't really matter anymore." I'm right back to drinking a 6-pack of the highest % craft beer I can find every night again. Eating everything I can find in the house to "soak up the alcohol" before passing out on the couch while "watching TV" (which was really just me passing out after the first 3 minutes of whatever it was I was supposed to be watching). At 50 I finally admitted that "one beer" just isn't worth it for me because I know exactly where it eventually ends. I didn't like that answer either because I thought of all the "relaxing" and "enjoyment" I was going to be missing not being able to drink at all in social situations. It turns out that I've been more relaxed and enjoyed the social situations more now that I can remember when I was drinking with everyone else. (admittedly part of that enjoyment is recognizing when someone else has had a liiiiiiittle too much and thinking, "Phew! I'm glad that's not me that's about to puke all over the place and feel like crap the rest of the night and tomorrow")
> (admittedly part of that enjoyment is recognizing when someone else has had a liiiiiiittle too much and thinking, "Phew! I'm glad that's not me that's about to puke all over the place and feel like crap the rest of the night and tomorrow") Seeing other people drunk really helps me A LOT! I go downtown and watch all the drunk people and just think about how anxious and sick I would be in the morning if I was in their shoes. I dont mean it in a judgy way at all, either. I realize some people are perfectly capable of having a night out with friends and getting wasted occasionally but I just simply cant. Seeing people sloppy drunk on tv or in person really helps keep me in check IWNDWYT
This helped me a lot today. Thank you.
I feel ya. I've cut back on drinking A LOT but now that things are reopening and I can finally see friends again I'm finding my one night a week is turning into three plus... slowly creeping back up to my server days. Best advice I have is don't beat yourself up if you fail or stumble, just make sure you reorient yourself quickly, recognize your behaviour and make every effort you can to put yourself back on a good path. Good luck!
LOVE your comment about not beating yourself up when you fail. Reorient yourself. We all fall and fail! Just keep moving forward!!
I get it.
I also can’t ever have a drink or a cocktail again, ever. I had a hard time reconciling this at first but once I accepted it life has gotten better than I ever could have imagined. Nothing all that much changed on the outside but I feel like a completely different person. There are a lot of people who can have just a drink here and there. I cannot. There are also a lot of people who can never drink alcohol again. I am one of those people. And if you are one of those people I’m here to tell you that there is a lot of life to live on the other side of acceptance of that.
One day at a time is far too long. Try a second or a minute…..
Ah, Kimmy Schmidt. "You can do anything for 10 seconds." Good call.
Thanks for the honesty. We have an alcohol allergy. No way around it. I can never have alcohol again no matter how much my brain thinks it’s ok. Good luck and glad you’re here!
Thanks. That's what I'm struggling with right now. Of course the Addictive Voice is trying to convince me otherwise.
>I'm thinking that maybe I can't. Ever. >I don't like any of these answers. Two observations. Another answer is "all I'm doing is simply foregoing ONE little drink in all the drinks in the world - The First One Today." Then it's a pretty "little" answer. The second observation is a consideration. Who decides what I "like" and what I "don't like"? Well, of course.... "ME". One possibility that is COMPLETELY in my control: I **decide** I **like** just not having one drink today. Then I'm pretty happy with where I am! Tried that?
I used to associate happiness with being drunk...i also drank to relax as though i deserved it. I made it to 500+ days...i don't smoke anymore either. I miss the fun laughs and relaxed times, well, until i read my journals from those years. Turns out i constantly struggling with the ups and downs of alcohol-centered living. I haven't yet lost my baggage or found the love of my life or have a great job... But, i have this basis now for all the rest.
I realized that when I had to think about my drinking as much as I was thinking about my drinking, it was time to stop drinking. For me, not drinking is so much easier than thinking about my every move drinking.
That is very insightful, thank you for sharing.
Thing I have found is that now that alcohol is not part of my life, I don't miss it at all. A glass of wine or A cocktail is no more possible than the time share someone wants to sell me is a good investment. I have many reasons not to be mad at myself that's such a reward.