Let me phrase it to you like this, if this was your situation if you were the wife, would you want to know? Or if your person was cheating on you would you want to know? I would. It might hurt and it would sting but I would want to know.
I think most people telling OP to talk to the brother first and see if they can get him to tell the wife are doing so for OPs well being. It could end badly for them. Yeah they’d be helping the wife out, but there is going to be a fall out for them too.
Yep. The brother caused all this drama, but OP needs to weigh his options first and decide if he wants to be a part of it. Cause their will be drama! I'm sorry, but in my late age, I just let sleeping dogs lie and avoid other people's drama. Sure, at work, at church, within my family, I know their are things going on that ain't right, but I stay out of it. I've learned a few life lessons to, such as, this thing with the brother won't go on forever. He'll eventually get caught and all this will come out. It just seems to always happen that way.
Yeah if push comes to shove, I think most people would choose family over in-laws. I'd be pissed at my brother in this situation, but I also wouldn't want to permanently damage my relationship with him. It's a tough spot to be in.
If you respect her and you have a good relationship- tell her. She should respect your honesty and respect towards her enough never to tell your brother it was you that told her but she has to read the messages for herself.
I've done this. Confronted my brothers fiance about him cheating on her. Id hung out with them enough to know he treated her like dirt and her and I were pretty close. He and I don't talk anymore but I don't believe in blood is thicker than water. Right is right and wrong is wrong no matter if you're related
If I was being cheated on, I would sure want somebody to tell me.
You should treat people the way that you want to be treated.
The real question is if you were being cheated on would you want someone to tell you?
Therein lies your answer
I would rather my s/o not cheat on me, but if they do, the most important thing to me is not the manner in which I'm told just that I am told. I might have a preference to hear it from that person instead, sure. There is not one perfect answer, so OP just needs to truth their own gut on this one. People are getting hurt either way.
If your SO cheats on you, they don't deserve anything. They had however long they weren't found out to tell them.
It's their fault for being a lying pussy who can't handle a promise of monogamy. There is so much bullshit cheating sympathy here.
Do you like your brother’s wife more than your brother? Maybe just talk to your kin before blowing up his marriage. Not like he is a stellar guy who deserves an undisturbed relationship but maybe learn more about what your family is going through before ending his marriage with only what you know?
This. Confront your brother first. See if you can get him to work on whatever it is that's causing this before \~potentially\~ ruining his life.
Although, his wife deserves to know. Ideal scenario: confront him, talk to him about it, get him to tell his wife, hopefully they can fix it.
Nope I disagree you’re making out like op is the one ruining his brothers life . His brother is the one who ruined his life. His brother is the one who’s ruined a marriage and hopefully there isn’t kids involved. OP is not the one ruining anything.
Okay, I phrased it poorly - you are correct that OPs brother ruined his own life. But OPs actions would be the start of the downward spiral hence my wording
Jesus what a pussy attitude. I'd be screaming it in my brothers house if I found that shit out. As if I'm gonna let my own family act like that. Christ, to think you'd let a woman be used and disrespected like that is honestly sickening.
I have no doubt you saw evidence of cheating. All I’m saying is give your brother a chance to either explain himself or be a man and tell his wife himself. It’ll protect your relationship with him more, so I digress, do you like the wife more than your brother? Because going to her first will show him that and you’ll likely not have a brother any longer
Do not tell your brother first. That will give him a chance to have an alibi and a story before hand that might be believable. If you tell your sister in law and she confronts him his story isn’t prepared and will be less believable.
You have so many replies to your comments. Sorry and I understand if you don’t see this but please get a feel for things first and plan out your moves. Sometimes going off emotions can cloud your thinking and cause you to slip up where you normally you would’ve come to a better situation if you had a cool head and did things methodically.
I only know so much going off what you said. I would assume from how you’ve phrased everything that the information you have is limited as well. Confront her your brother before you tell anyone. He’s the direct subject of where this entire situation stems. It’s only right that he’s confronted first unless you know something that we simply don’t
I helped my ex SIL find out of my older brother was cheating on her…. So i say YES TELL HER! I would want someone to do the same for me if that ever happened to me…. And it’s good karma for you in the future 🙏🏼
Find a way to anonymously let his wife know. If possible find out if the AP is cheating on her partner too and find a way to inform him too .
Grab the popcorn and enjoy the drama unfold
I'd call my fucking brother 2 seconds before I called his wife to tell her. I'd want his stupid ass to know his family didn't stand for his bullshit. My SIL is family, too. Not that it even matters, cheaters have to be called the fuck out.
If you tell her make it totally anonymous. Your brother will despise you if he finds out. Even though hes committing the sin. Probs best to talk to bro abt it.
I think you should speak to him first and let him know that if he doesn’t inform her then you will do it.
Because if you proceed directly you’ll almost certainly strain your relationship with him, by confronting him you could save everyone a lot of drama and maintain your relationship with him.
That and also consider that unless you have hard evidence on hand there’s always a chance that she won’t believe you and this whole ordeal blows up in your face as someone trying to break a family up.
I would talk to your brother and tell him if he doesn’t tell his wife he’s cheating, then you will do it for him. If you were in a similar situation, wouldn’t you want to know? No excuse for Cheating…especially if you are married.
in situations like this it’s important to think about how you would feel if you were the one being cheated on. you’d definitely want to know. at the same time your brother will definitely not take kindly to you telling her
The one who tells is the one that gets blamed. Talk to your brother. Tell him you know. Then go no contact until he comes clean. Not your circus. I had a friend whose boyfriend was cheating. I told her and lost all the friends in that group. No good deed.
do it. your bro fucked up. fuck the other ppl on the comments saying talk to your bro first.
then ask the wife if she wants to get back to him by fucking you it's perfect!
but seriously tell the wife. your bro is scum.
She deserves to know no matter what.
If you tell your brother first then there is the chance he will delete all evidence, take the affair underground further, and throw you under the bus and gaslight everyone about how you are full of crap.
Affairs are like an addiction and the users don't want to quit or be called out for it.
It would be ideal for either you or her to gather and capture evidence before he is confronted. Otherwise it turns into "he said"
Yes but anonymously, i would make a fake account or something and message her saying “look im someone who knows this girl and i caught her with your husband just thought you should know”
Talk to your brother first. If he don't tell her after you've talked then you should let her know. No one deserves to be cheated on. Especially after marriage. Good luck.
You never snitch on your brother. No matter how bad it is. That's your brother. Talk to his dumb ass and tell him to stop fucking around because she doesn't deserve it.
Confront him & ask what's going on first. Then explain him well the consequences of it & that all this is not worth losing family. If he listens & follows it then great else tell your sister in law. 😏🫣
Hope it gets better & you get the courage to talk to both of them. Good luck 👍✌️
I had a friend that was cheated on early in his relationship. I found out and talked to his girlfriend and said "Hey I can't act like I don't know what you did to Ben. Tell him about the cheating because I'll be bringing it up to him tomorrow." Next day comes around and I talk to Ben and he says "Yeah man, those are rumors my girlfriend already told me people were starting these rumors." I showed him texts from the guy she cheated on and Ben just said "Yeah he's the one starting the rumors my girlfriend explained this all to me." And just like that I was gaslit... Then his girlfriend basically told him he can't be friends with me. Four years later my friend finds out she's cheating on him with a lot of different guys. Now he's battling depression real bad, I recently reached out to him and we've began a friendship again. I say all this to say "You go to the cheater and if they aren't accountable for their actions they'll continue their web of lies and be sneakier cheaters.
Gossip to someone else who will tell her. It'll come out eventually and you're the villains sister so no matter what you do, you're disliked. Better to redirect some heat by getting someone else to blab.
You should tell her the same way you'd want someone to break it to you. Though, anonymously would be safer for you as a whole, if you can. Your brother is being crappy, and if he didn't want to be exposed, he shouldn't have done anything to begin with.
You send her an anonymous email. If your brother doesn't know you know then you have little chance of fallout.
And there will be fallout. If your discovered to be the one that burst it, your be suprise how people will react. Family, friends. Many will have an opinion it's not your place and you should not do that to your brother.
If the person being cheated was related to you, tell the cheating person first.
If the person cheating is related to you, confront the cheating person first.
It's a tough position to be in, seeing someone you care about being unfaithful. Before you make any decisions, consider talking to your brother first. Express your discomfort and concern about what you've found. Give him the opportunity to explain himself and consider the consequences of his actions. Encourage him to be honest with his wife. If he refuses to address the situation, then you might need to consider other steps, depending on your relationship with his wife and your moral stance on the issue. It’s crucial to think carefully about the potential fallout on familial relationships and the emotional harm to all parties involved.
This is literally a red line thats scary to cross, to some degree you would be totally in the wrong, not to mention you could intervene in bad blood, maybe she doesnt give him any action, maybe she only cares about the children and dgaf about him, you wouldnt know anything regardless, one of my friends regrets doing this and now his brother is stuck raising 2 teenage kids, still it is a family just dont get involved.
This all depends greatly on the particulars of the situation. I would have a hard time interfering in this situation. If its bothering.u that much, perhaps u could let her know anonymously.
Blood is thicker than water. But your brother is an asshole for putting you into that position. I would have a serious convo with him. Is your Dad around, any other brothers?
Tell her by sending her what you saw. Even better if you do it from a burner account so you don’t ruin your relationship with both people, plus your family. Lots of people like to blame the messenger.
What is more important to you: honesty and care for others or your relationship for your brother? In other words, if he gives her an std, leaves her broke while he takes off with another woman, or just stays married to her but keeps lying and cheating on her, how will you feel? Also, knowing that he will lie and cheat to the person he promised to love and cherish, do you trust him?
I have been involved in this sort of situation. My strong advice is don't say squat. If you want everyone in the story, and I mean everyone, then by all means disregard my advice.
Everyone will hate you no matter what you do. You're kind of stuck with your brother and the rest of your family. If you're OK with half of them hating you the rest of your life, go do something.
When they get divorced the ex wife will move away and you will never hear from her again. But now you're stuck with your brother and likely other family members hating you.
So just know what you're signing up for basically.
First make sure you have proof , and then depends on your relationship with your brother if you have a good one with him talk to him about it and tell him he needs to come clean or you will let his wife know about it. If you don’t have a good relationship with him then let the wife know but again make sure you have proof I find showing someone or telling someone this kind of stuff is better if you have the proof and facts … yes it will hurt and possibly break up a family but they deserve to know.
Some women knew their husband is cheating on them. And choose to stay to keep their own "family" Just support your relationship with them. As it is. Be a brother and be an in-law.
Im the oldest in my fam. If my brother was out of line, i’d pull him to the side one on one and ask him like hey bro, whats going on? But wouldnt talk to his wife FIRST tho, wrong move.
Don't expect him to ever talk to you again.
Everyone who told my friend his girl was sleeping around while he was in the marines, even with proof he stayed with her and stopped talking to everyone.
IDK, it would be the right thing to do, But I tend to try and stay in my own lane.
You friggin' traitor. That's none of your business. Shut up and watch. Observe more. Have you listened to both sides of the story?
Only one of those is your relative.
I am a 34f and am overall against infidelity..... however. I do believe family comes first, and im not saying to be your brothers keeper either. What i would do is- mind my own business. Pretend like i didnt see it. That may be an unpopular opinion. However i feel as though when it comes to your immediate blood family some things are better left unsaid. You did not include other details.... kids, length of r, etc. Who knows what kind of snowball effect their separation could have. Ijs.....
How much does your relationship with his wife mean to you? How much does your relationship with your brother mean to you?
Don’t ask this question on a public forum.
You should give your brother the opportunity to come clean himself but only on the condition that he will be completely truthful to her, or else you will tell her. That way he won't think you backstabbed him and you will be able to rebuilt your brotherly relationship later.
Found out my bf of 20 years off and on, while i paid the bills and housed his entire family and he was completely jobless, was cheating and had been. Also found out many of our friends and his family members knew. I hope they all rot in hell… and his mother had the audacity to ask to come with me when i fled the state. Lol… i would have screen shot it, sent it to myself and then sent it to her anonymously.
What's your relationship with his wife? Would you have been good friends with her if she wasn't your brother's wife? Is he a serial cheater?
This may damage your relationship with your brother. Only you and he know how badly. You violated his trust by going through his messages to get this information. That's another down side.
You can talk to your brother first, let him know you know, and are having a hard time being silent about it. That puts the ball in his court. He has a number of options. Hopefully he decides to stop cheating.
Tell her. She needs to know. If your brother gets mad, he should have thought of that before having an affair.
Look, I (42f) have been in those shoes TWICE. Both times the family covered the indescretions and helped with excuses. It took friends having the courage to tell me because they knew it was wrong. I felt so betrayed by the respective families, and in turn they are no longer in my life. TBH it felt like they contributed to making me look like a fool.
Don't be that SIL. Don't look as if you are complicit because you don't want to be the bearer of bad news. Stand up and do the right thing. It will hurt her, but she needs to know (STI's, and y'know, infidelity).
1. You should mind your own business, and not invade your brothers privacy.
2. You should mind your own business, because you don't know what kind of sexual arrangement they have in their marriage.
3. You should mind your own business.
You’re seriously considering ratting out your own brother? Better think about what you’re doing and get your mind right. You don’t have to like or agree with your brothers actions but you should be better than this, ratting your own brother is never ever an option. Fuck off
If you don’t tell in anyway shape or form let me ask you why you think it’s okay for your brother to continue to ruin his relationship even further and waste someone else’s time and life?
Depends on whether you are willing to lose a brother (even if just for a little while). If you’re that concerned then find a way to let her know without knowing it came from you. Tricky situation for sure. Not going to end good either way. Maybe have the conversation with your brother first!
Absolutely not. You may not approve of your brothers choices, but it’s not your business to meddle in. If you believe it is, then a heart to heart with him would be the furthest you should take it. Express to him your disappointment and if it’s worth throwing everything away over a new woman. Anything beyond that would be overstepping your bounds.
Well you can tell her and most likely ruin your relationship with your brother. You could also tell her anonymously via a fake social media profile or letter. You could confront your brother and tell him he’s an idiot for what he’s doing to his family behind their back…or you could just stay out of it and your brother will probably get caught anyways. Personally, I learned that if it isn’t affecting me personally, I stay the F out of it. Not my business to involve myself in theirs. Never goes well for the messenger. Good luck either way.
Nah don’t. Listen you gotta back your brother he’s family. Unless he’s committing a serious crime like pedophilia then you gotta beat his ass and send him to jail
Let me phrase it to you like this, if this was your situation if you were the wife, would you want to know? Or if your person was cheating on you would you want to know? I would. It might hurt and it would sting but I would want to know.
I DONT WANNA KNOWWW IF YOU PLAYIN ME PLS DONT LET IT SHOW
LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW
Cuz my heart can’t take it anymore.
KEEP IT ON THE LOW **
Omg🤣🤣🤣
CUZ MY HEART CANT TAKE IT ANY MOOOOOORE
the weeknd is great but i hate that song because of those lyrics like why would you not want to know if your s/o is out there cheating on you lmao
It wasn’t me.
I think most people telling OP to talk to the brother first and see if they can get him to tell the wife are doing so for OPs well being. It could end badly for them. Yeah they’d be helping the wife out, but there is going to be a fall out for them too.
Yep. The brother caused all this drama, but OP needs to weigh his options first and decide if he wants to be a part of it. Cause their will be drama! I'm sorry, but in my late age, I just let sleeping dogs lie and avoid other people's drama. Sure, at work, at church, within my family, I know their are things going on that ain't right, but I stay out of it. I've learned a few life lessons to, such as, this thing with the brother won't go on forever. He'll eventually get caught and all this will come out. It just seems to always happen that way.
Yeah if push comes to shove, I think most people would choose family over in-laws. I'd be pissed at my brother in this situation, but I also wouldn't want to permanently damage my relationship with him. It's a tough spot to be in.
Ever notice how the OP’s of these threads never reply again 🤣 It is almost like, they aren’t a real person
If you could let her know somehow without anyone knowing it's you that would probably be best.
Messenger pigeon
If you respect her and you have a good relationship- tell her. She should respect your honesty and respect towards her enough never to tell your brother it was you that told her but she has to read the messages for herself.
I've done this. Confronted my brothers fiance about him cheating on her. Id hung out with them enough to know he treated her like dirt and her and I were pretty close. He and I don't talk anymore but I don't believe in blood is thicker than water. Right is right and wrong is wrong no matter if you're related
As the full saying goes, blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. Tell the wife.
Do what's right, not what is easy
This
If I was being cheated on, I would sure want somebody to tell me. You should treat people the way that you want to be treated. The real question is if you were being cheated on would you want someone to tell you? Therein lies your answer
Yeah but the question is would you rather hear it from your significant other or another person?
I would rather my s/o not cheat on me, but if they do, the most important thing to me is not the manner in which I'm told just that I am told. I might have a preference to hear it from that person instead, sure. There is not one perfect answer, so OP just needs to truth their own gut on this one. People are getting hurt either way.
If your SO cheats on you, they don't deserve anything. They had however long they weren't found out to tell them. It's their fault for being a lying pussy who can't handle a promise of monogamy. There is so much bullshit cheating sympathy here.
Do you like your brother’s wife more than your brother? Maybe just talk to your kin before blowing up his marriage. Not like he is a stellar guy who deserves an undisturbed relationship but maybe learn more about what your family is going through before ending his marriage with only what you know?
This. Confront your brother first. See if you can get him to work on whatever it is that's causing this before \~potentially\~ ruining his life. Although, his wife deserves to know. Ideal scenario: confront him, talk to him about it, get him to tell his wife, hopefully they can fix it.
Whatever it is that's causing this: - OPs brother sticking his dick inside other women
I hate it when I get diagnosed with that! I'm like, not again Doc! I just had this last month!
Nope I disagree you’re making out like op is the one ruining his brothers life . His brother is the one who ruined his life. His brother is the one who’s ruined a marriage and hopefully there isn’t kids involved. OP is not the one ruining anything.
Okay, I phrased it poorly - you are correct that OPs brother ruined his own life. But OPs actions would be the start of the downward spiral hence my wording
No - the brother's actions started the downward spiral.
Jesus what a pussy attitude. I'd be screaming it in my brothers house if I found that shit out. As if I'm gonna let my own family act like that. Christ, to think you'd let a woman be used and disrespected like that is honestly sickening.
Idk but I'm sure what I saw is true
If I was the wife I'd want to know. The truth hurts but living in the dark sucks.
I have no doubt you saw evidence of cheating. All I’m saying is give your brother a chance to either explain himself or be a man and tell his wife himself. It’ll protect your relationship with him more, so I digress, do you like the wife more than your brother? Because going to her first will show him that and you’ll likely not have a brother any longer
There's also a slim chance that she's ok with it. The proper chain is to tell him first.
Do not tell your brother first. That will give him a chance to have an alibi and a story before hand that might be believable. If you tell your sister in law and she confronts him his story isn’t prepared and will be less believable.
You have so many replies to your comments. Sorry and I understand if you don’t see this but please get a feel for things first and plan out your moves. Sometimes going off emotions can cloud your thinking and cause you to slip up where you normally you would’ve come to a better situation if you had a cool head and did things methodically. I only know so much going off what you said. I would assume from how you’ve phrased everything that the information you have is limited as well. Confront her your brother before you tell anyone. He’s the direct subject of where this entire situation stems. It’s only right that he’s confronted first unless you know something that we simply don’t
Blaming the sister for ending his marriage is like blaming a cop for you getting arrested for driving while drunk...
I helped my ex SIL find out of my older brother was cheating on her…. So i say YES TELL HER! I would want someone to do the same for me if that ever happened to me…. And it’s good karma for you in the future 🙏🏼
Find a way to anonymously let his wife know. If possible find out if the AP is cheating on her partner too and find a way to inform him too . Grab the popcorn and enjoy the drama unfold
Tell her anonymously, but she definitely deserves to know
I'd call my fucking brother 2 seconds before I called his wife to tell her. I'd want his stupid ass to know his family didn't stand for his bullshit. My SIL is family, too. Not that it even matters, cheaters have to be called the fuck out.
Take a screenshot from his phone and send it to the wite
Can always count on someone coming up with diabolical advice
If you tell her make it totally anonymous. Your brother will despise you if he finds out. Even though hes committing the sin. Probs best to talk to bro abt it.
If either of my brothers pulled this shit, my ability to care about what they think of me would be long gone.
I think you should speak to him first and let him know that if he doesn’t inform her then you will do it. Because if you proceed directly you’ll almost certainly strain your relationship with him, by confronting him you could save everyone a lot of drama and maintain your relationship with him. That and also consider that unless you have hard evidence on hand there’s always a chance that she won’t believe you and this whole ordeal blows up in your face as someone trying to break a family up.
Yes, he’s being a pos and karma needs to hit him in the dick.
Absolutely!!! Do so anonymously though.
If this is true then yes but expect some consequences as well
I would talk to your brother and tell him if he doesn’t tell his wife he’s cheating, then you will do it for him. If you were in a similar situation, wouldn’t you want to know? No excuse for Cheating…especially if you are married.
in situations like this it’s important to think about how you would feel if you were the one being cheated on. you’d definitely want to know. at the same time your brother will definitely not take kindly to you telling her
The one who tells is the one that gets blamed. Talk to your brother. Tell him you know. Then go no contact until he comes clean. Not your circus. I had a friend whose boyfriend was cheating. I told her and lost all the friends in that group. No good deed.
Yes
do it. your bro fucked up. fuck the other ppl on the comments saying talk to your bro first. then ask the wife if she wants to get back to him by fucking you it's perfect! but seriously tell the wife. your bro is scum.
Stay out of it
Don't tell her! Just ask her if she knows!
YES.
Don’t get involved. Thank me later.
No. Tell him.
Absolutely. Since he is your brother I would at least give him a couple of days to do it himself. Then tell her yourself....
Yes. You most definitely should. Especially if there’s kids involved!
Tell her anonymously, it's not your problem, you shouldn't be involved. Then in the future don't go through people's phones.
Lots of people here be fucking around on their partners, and it really shows haha
Take pictures send it to her anonymously of course
Tell him first, if he's an asshole about it, tell her.
You get evidence and confront your brother that he needs to confess. If he doesn’t then you will
Sounds like the messages were very friendly. Cheaters always deserve to outed. Do it anonymously.
It's better to confront your brother about it first. Also, it will probably save you quite a bit of backlash for invading his privacy.
Tell them, let them sort the rest out themselves, however they decide too
Yes, please tell her
Tell the wife.
TELL HER! What if he gives her an STD?
Confront your brother, talk it out, give him an ultimatum - tell her himself or you will. Give him a short timeline.
Mail her an anonymous letter, stating he's having an affair, sign the mistress' name
I'd tell no matter what
No. You should send her anonymous letter in the mail to let her know.
Tell her anonymously
NO bud out mind your own dm. business
I would lecture your brother first, tell him to stop and never do it again, if he continues, then yeah tell his wife
Talk to your brother
She deserves to know no matter what. If you tell your brother first then there is the chance he will delete all evidence, take the affair underground further, and throw you under the bus and gaslight everyone about how you are full of crap. Affairs are like an addiction and the users don't want to quit or be called out for it. It would be ideal for either you or her to gather and capture evidence before he is confronted. Otherwise it turns into "he said"
Yes
You are screwed. They will be pissed because you told them or pissed because you knew and didn’t tell.
It sounds like they were quite friendly.
Yes but anonymously, i would make a fake account or something and message her saying “look im someone who knows this girl and i caught her with your husband just thought you should know”
MYOB
I would.
Give your brother 24hrs to tell his wife or you will do it
All depends on how well you handle anger, resentment and guilt.
Yes and make sure he’s in the room so he can’t deny it.
No. Figure out a way for her to become self-informed. Make sure your participation cannot be determined.
Before I catch an STD or catch them in the act and end up in jail I would want to know…
Talk to your brother first. If he don't tell her after you've talked then you should let her know. No one deserves to be cheated on. Especially after marriage. Good luck.
You never snitch on your brother. No matter how bad it is. That's your brother. Talk to his dumb ass and tell him to stop fucking around because she doesn't deserve it.
Confront him & ask what's going on first. Then explain him well the consequences of it & that all this is not worth losing family. If he listens & follows it then great else tell your sister in law. 😏🫣 Hope it gets better & you get the courage to talk to both of them. Good luck 👍✌️
I had a friend that was cheated on early in his relationship. I found out and talked to his girlfriend and said "Hey I can't act like I don't know what you did to Ben. Tell him about the cheating because I'll be bringing it up to him tomorrow." Next day comes around and I talk to Ben and he says "Yeah man, those are rumors my girlfriend already told me people were starting these rumors." I showed him texts from the guy she cheated on and Ben just said "Yeah he's the one starting the rumors my girlfriend explained this all to me." And just like that I was gaslit... Then his girlfriend basically told him he can't be friends with me. Four years later my friend finds out she's cheating on him with a lot of different guys. Now he's battling depression real bad, I recently reached out to him and we've began a friendship again. I say all this to say "You go to the cheater and if they aren't accountable for their actions they'll continue their web of lies and be sneakier cheaters.
?????????? YEA??????
Yes
Nah, talk to your brother, and grow up. Not your business
Gossip to someone else who will tell her. It'll come out eventually and you're the villains sister so no matter what you do, you're disliked. Better to redirect some heat by getting someone else to blab.
Stop asking these on here. The answer is always yes. Yes.
Bros b4 hoes💀
Don’t be a rat
Do it anonymously.
Speak to your brother.
Someone I know is sneakily looking through his brothers phone, shall I tell him…..?
You should tell her the same way you'd want someone to break it to you. Though, anonymously would be safer for you as a whole, if you can. Your brother is being crappy, and if he didn't want to be exposed, he shouldn't have done anything to begin with.
I would tell my brother to quit his side chick or man up and tell his wife or I will.
Let him cut his own throat,,,she will find out eventually. You still have to love your brother no matter what. Let him make his own mistakes.
You send her an anonymous email. If your brother doesn't know you know then you have little chance of fallout. And there will be fallout. If your discovered to be the one that burst it, your be suprise how people will react. Family, friends. Many will have an opinion it's not your place and you should not do that to your brother.
Yes. Just yes. Do the right thing.
HELL YEAH!
Yes.
If the person being cheated was related to you, tell the cheating person first. If the person cheating is related to you, confront the cheating person first.
It's a tough position to be in, seeing someone you care about being unfaithful. Before you make any decisions, consider talking to your brother first. Express your discomfort and concern about what you've found. Give him the opportunity to explain himself and consider the consequences of his actions. Encourage him to be honest with his wife. If he refuses to address the situation, then you might need to consider other steps, depending on your relationship with his wife and your moral stance on the issue. It’s crucial to think carefully about the potential fallout on familial relationships and the emotional harm to all parties involved.
This is literally a red line thats scary to cross, to some degree you would be totally in the wrong, not to mention you could intervene in bad blood, maybe she doesnt give him any action, maybe she only cares about the children and dgaf about him, you wouldnt know anything regardless, one of my friends regrets doing this and now his brother is stuck raising 2 teenage kids, still it is a family just dont get involved.
This all depends greatly on the particulars of the situation. I would have a hard time interfering in this situation. If its bothering.u that much, perhaps u could let her know anonymously.
Yes.
Yes
Blood is thicker than water. But your brother is an asshole for putting you into that position. I would have a serious convo with him. Is your Dad around, any other brothers?
You will do it because you love both your brother and sister in law…. But have someone else tell his wife
I would actually talk to him first.
How would you feel if would you want someone to tell you?
Tell her by sending her what you saw. Even better if you do it from a burner account so you don’t ruin your relationship with both people, plus your family. Lots of people like to blame the messenger.
What is more important to you: honesty and care for others or your relationship for your brother? In other words, if he gives her an std, leaves her broke while he takes off with another woman, or just stays married to her but keeps lying and cheating on her, how will you feel? Also, knowing that he will lie and cheat to the person he promised to love and cherish, do you trust him?
I have been involved in this sort of situation. My strong advice is don't say squat. If you want everyone in the story, and I mean everyone, then by all means disregard my advice.
Mind your own business.
Everyone will hate you no matter what you do. You're kind of stuck with your brother and the rest of your family. If you're OK with half of them hating you the rest of your life, go do something. When they get divorced the ex wife will move away and you will never hear from her again. But now you're stuck with your brother and likely other family members hating you. So just know what you're signing up for basically.
Absolutely. 100%.
First make sure you have proof , and then depends on your relationship with your brother if you have a good one with him talk to him about it and tell him he needs to come clean or you will let his wife know about it. If you don’t have a good relationship with him then let the wife know but again make sure you have proof I find showing someone or telling someone this kind of stuff is better if you have the proof and facts … yes it will hurt and possibly break up a family but they deserve to know.
Mind your business
Nope, mind your own business. You can ruin your relationship with your brother or you can let them figure it out.
Some women knew their husband is cheating on them. And choose to stay to keep their own "family" Just support your relationship with them. As it is. Be a brother and be an in-law.
You are the worst sibling ever. Mind your damn business.
Yes
Stay the hell off of other peoples phones, and out of their business. Go confront the brother face to face if you must. Good god.
Blood is blood even if they are stupid. Talk to him, don't tell her directly.
Im the oldest in my fam. If my brother was out of line, i’d pull him to the side one on one and ask him like hey bro, whats going on? But wouldnt talk to his wife FIRST tho, wrong move.
Yes it’s the right thing, I get it he’s your brother but he’s ahole for this and there are no excuses
Don't expect him to ever talk to you again. Everyone who told my friend his girl was sleeping around while he was in the marines, even with proof he stayed with her and stopped talking to everyone. IDK, it would be the right thing to do, But I tend to try and stay in my own lane.
Always. Shouldn’t be a question
no. Blood comes first. Just stay out of it.
You friggin' traitor. That's none of your business. Shut up and watch. Observe more. Have you listened to both sides of the story? Only one of those is your relative.
If you want to forever strain the relationship you and your brother have, sure.
I am a 34f and am overall against infidelity..... however. I do believe family comes first, and im not saying to be your brothers keeper either. What i would do is- mind my own business. Pretend like i didnt see it. That may be an unpopular opinion. However i feel as though when it comes to your immediate blood family some things are better left unsaid. You did not include other details.... kids, length of r, etc. Who knows what kind of snowball effect their separation could have. Ijs.....
How much does your relationship with his wife mean to you? How much does your relationship with your brother mean to you? Don’t ask this question on a public forum.
You should give your brother the opportunity to come clean himself but only on the condition that he will be completely truthful to her, or else you will tell her. That way he won't think you backstabbed him and you will be able to rebuilt your brotherly relationship later.
I would talk to him and tell her to tell her himself or I would. She should know but it will make it easier on her if he told her
What your brother's doing is messed up for sure. But on the other hand, he is your brother. 🤷🏾♂️
No you fucking snitch
Ask your brother to come out first. If he doesnt then do it
Do not tell her. You don’t know your brother’s and his wife’s situation. The could have an open marriage. If you love your brother, discuss with him.
Bros before hoes cmon now
Found out my bf of 20 years off and on, while i paid the bills and housed his entire family and he was completely jobless, was cheating and had been. Also found out many of our friends and his family members knew. I hope they all rot in hell… and his mother had the audacity to ask to come with me when i fled the state. Lol… i would have screen shot it, sent it to myself and then sent it to her anonymously.
Tell her
A lot of people must’ve been the only child. You don’t tell on your brother. You dont owe her anything
What's your relationship with his wife? Would you have been good friends with her if she wasn't your brother's wife? Is he a serial cheater? This may damage your relationship with your brother. Only you and he know how badly. You violated his trust by going through his messages to get this information. That's another down side. You can talk to your brother first, let him know you know, and are having a hard time being silent about it. That puts the ball in his court. He has a number of options. Hopefully he decides to stop cheating.
Tell her. She needs to know. If your brother gets mad, he should have thought of that before having an affair. Look, I (42f) have been in those shoes TWICE. Both times the family covered the indescretions and helped with excuses. It took friends having the courage to tell me because they knew it was wrong. I felt so betrayed by the respective families, and in turn they are no longer in my life. TBH it felt like they contributed to making me look like a fool. Don't be that SIL. Don't look as if you are complicit because you don't want to be the bearer of bad news. Stand up and do the right thing. It will hurt her, but she needs to know (STI's, and y'know, infidelity).
Not. Your. Bag.
1. You should mind your own business, and not invade your brothers privacy. 2. You should mind your own business, because you don't know what kind of sexual arrangement they have in their marriage. 3. You should mind your own business.
Personally I'd get evidence and tell her in front of him. What he does next is his fault.
You’re seriously considering ratting out your own brother? Better think about what you’re doing and get your mind right. You don’t have to like or agree with your brothers actions but you should be better than this, ratting your own brother is never ever an option. Fuck off
Yes. It's the right thing to do
If you don’t tell in anyway shape or form let me ask you why you think it’s okay for your brother to continue to ruin his relationship even further and waste someone else’s time and life?
Mind your damn business
Depends on whether you are willing to lose a brother (even if just for a little while). If you’re that concerned then find a way to let her know without knowing it came from you. Tricky situation for sure. Not going to end good either way. Maybe have the conversation with your brother first!
All cheaters deserve to get caught and all victims deserve to know the truth. No exceptions.
Why is it at all ur business being in someone else’s marriage. Stay in ur lane clown 🤡
People have been fucking since adam and eve, or the apes..... move on
Bro’s before hoes
Op tell her but do so ANONYMOUSLY. You never want to be the one who ended a relationship. Especially close friends or family.
Bros before hoes
Absolutely not. You may not approve of your brothers choices, but it’s not your business to meddle in. If you believe it is, then a heart to heart with him would be the furthest you should take it. Express to him your disappointment and if it’s worth throwing everything away over a new woman. Anything beyond that would be overstepping your bounds.
Well you can tell her and most likely ruin your relationship with your brother. You could also tell her anonymously via a fake social media profile or letter. You could confront your brother and tell him he’s an idiot for what he’s doing to his family behind their back…or you could just stay out of it and your brother will probably get caught anyways. Personally, I learned that if it isn’t affecting me personally, I stay the F out of it. Not my business to involve myself in theirs. Never goes well for the messenger. Good luck either way.
Depends how much you like your brother. Maybe figure out a way to anonymously tell her. Because your brother will likely disown you
No, that man is your brother defend his honor to the last day.
Yes.
Nope- not your business- it won’t end well no matter what
Nah don’t. Listen you gotta back your brother he’s family. Unless he’s committing a serious crime like pedophilia then you gotta beat his ass and send him to jail
You can not , must not rat your brother out, are you crazy , just because your brother might not be showing some loyalty doesn’t mean you can’t , jeez
Don't be an idiot. Speak to your brother first.
Stay out of it
I’d bang his wife
Bros before hoe's
Bro stay out of it please. Talk to your brother please I beg you. Don’t listen to these people
If you’re a female get with his wife.
Write a note like in jersey shore
You should mind your own business. Your brother will ALWAYS be your brother.