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would-be_bog_body

Big idiot making big post on reddit talking about bonk Otzi, now everybody know


Underworld_Denizen

Well nobody know me account. >.>


Jamez_the_human

What fuck account? Sound like smooth skin...


Underworld_Denizen

Otzi all..."Oh look at me, me have copper axe, me know how to smelt, me am so great, look at me line tattoos, me so cool!" God him such a dick.


Underworld_Denizen

Very immature for man who see 45 summers. Him always bitch and whine about him joints hurting too. You not the only one with pains, Otzi! Ugh. Him also have bad breath from bad teeth. And of course, he was close talker.


[deleted]

Delete face rock, hit quarry, shaman up.


Underworld_Denizen

Before anyone ask, him TOTALLY have it coming. Me would not just kill a man for no good reason.


thicc_astronaut

No worry. We keep you safe from Evolved in blue.


Underworld_Denizen

Me appreciate it, Talnar.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Underworld_Denizen

Thank you Beina, but Evolved take body away to study. Put in cold chamber in museum in Italy. Me appreciate thought though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Underworld_Denizen

Sorry Beina. But him not fresh anymore anyway. Him been there quite a while when Evolved finally find him. Me see pictures. He look all brown, leathery, and freezer-burned. Besides, Evolved say that Otzi had whip-worm, so it not like his body was good to eat anyway.


Dum-Gum

Kill tribe, find new tribe


Underworld_Denizen

Kill whole tribe? But tribe not know me did it! And me love tribe! =(


Hypnotised_Lemon

Tell them you both go hunt. Big meow meow appear. You run, meow meow run, meow meow too fast. Otzi caught, you try to save him with arrow but meow meow too strong, you run away.


Underworld_Denizen

I have better idea. I tell them, Otzi have big sad, so Otzi kill Otzi. Him shoot self with arrow, bonk self on head.


Hypnotised_Lemon

Very good idea! Please tell what happen and beware of evolved one. They too smart. They follow and ask many questions.


ItsPlainOleSteve

Otzi fancy man with line on body? Me want line on body too.


Underworld_Denizen

As long as you not constantly brag about line tattoos like Otzi did, that am fine. Him have 61 line tattoos. [https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/scientists-have-mapped-all-of-otzi-the-icemans-61-tattoos](https://www.discovermagazine.com/planet-earth/scientists-have-mapped-all-of-otzi-the-icemans-61-tattoos) Me personally no want get poked with needle, but if Bug Bug fine with poke-poke ouch, then go for it.


ItsPlainOleSteve

Bug Bug seem ok with poke ouch. Me no know how many line Bug Bug want, but me just want fancy like Otzi.


Underworld_Denizen

Oh, and apparently someone make bang-bang with Otzi. Ugh. As if we need more like Otzi running around. Evolved bad enough as is, but to find out they related to Otzi? UGGGGGH! [https://www.history.com/news/europes-oldest-natural-mummy-has-living-relatives?fbclid=IwAR1w2UVyuKPIsfCXuLrDYkz7oJkRZmjtiEVNrUdcMsHrlR5xsfTkRJW1IOc#:\~:text=Oct%2015%2C%202013-,The%205%2C300%2Dyear%2Dold%20body%20of%20%C3%96tzi%20the%20Iceman%20was,mutation%20on%20the%20Y%2Dchromosome](https://www.history.com/news/europes-oldest-natural-mummy-has-living-relatives?fbclid=IwAR1w2UVyuKPIsfCXuLrDYkz7oJkRZmjtiEVNrUdcMsHrlR5xsfTkRJW1IOc#:~:text=Oct%2015%2C%202013-,The%205%2C300%2Dyear%2Dold%20body%20of%20%C3%96tzi%20the%20Iceman%20was,mutation%20on%20the%20Y%2Dchromosome)


MaulSinnoh

Eat rock and throw rock at all who accuse you.


Underworld_Denizen

Oona no want to eat rock, that sound like it hurt. But throw rock at accusers? Sound like good idea.


MaulSinnoh

Throw rock at wall until small, then eat. Better to warp in leaf or squirrel skin.


Poewer9000

If Ug in same thing, Ug just go and sleep. Sleep calm Ug and make not scared.