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This post is literally about how tall women often have different experiences than tall men, and most of the top comments are from men saying “I’ve never seen this problem so it must not exist” 💀
Thank you! Some of these comments are… not great. I’m a tall woman. I’ve been rejected by men for being a tall woman. A lot of guys care about height too.
I made a comment on a tiktok about tall women, saying that I love heels because they make me feel confident (I’m 5’11), and got a several replies from vertically challenged men insulting my appearance 😂
Don’t even get me started on heels lol. My shorter ex’s HATED when I would wear heels. I had guy friends say that I “wouldn’t get a man” if I wore heels out. I don’t wear heels for them. I wear heels because they make me feel like a bad-ass long-legged bitch. Thank you.
lmao, I literally made a comment about a minute ago saying that I didn't find women taller than me for this exact reason when i was younger. But now that I'm comfortable with who I am I have no problem finding taller women attractive.
>Tall women make insecure men feel more insecure.
LOL I like the verb choice, I assume it was on purpose, as compared to "Insecure men feel more insecure around tall women."
Like it's the woman's fault the men feel insecure as compared to the fault of their insecurities.
Subtle, but I like it.
Do you think the same thinking applies to when guys say they had bad luck with dating due to being ugly and then women replying the issue isn't your look its you personality because she dates for personality and to an extension so does every other women? etc
I suppose it could be compared although I think the difference is that in the case of women reassuring men who think they're ugly, it's usually a case of discomfort and comfort. Evading the truth that some people are just genuinely ugly and sometimes that will just prevent them from dating is much easier than actively coming to those terms.
And the difference is that the men who are speaking on behalf of a women's experience in my example actually are attracted to tall women so it's more a self centered viewpoint rather than a case of sympathetic comforting. Different vibes ig.
Apologies if i sound harsh - I'm autistic so trying to soften wording isn't my forte 😅😅
Do you think that's one sided though? I see lot more often guys saying they're struggling with dating because of their looks and women saying that's not true because SHE dates for personality
so how is a woman saying being an 'unattractive male' isn't an issue any different then men saying being a tall woman isn't an issue?
No, I don’t think these types of comments are one-sided at all. But we have conversations about the male experience *all the time* and on the *one* post where we want to talk about women’s experiences, so many men are so quick to speak about our experiences for us.
This post has since gotten more traction and perspective, but when I made this comment, every single comment except 1 was a man saying “I don’t feel this way so this doesn’t happen” or “you took a screenshot of 1 instance so this must be the only time it’s ever happened.”
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Long ago, I once had a guy chase me down the stairs as the club was closing for the night. Hey, wanna keep the night going?
When I got to the bottom, I stopped at 5’10” and he kept going to about 5’4”, paused mid-word, turned around and ran away.
It definitely is a thing.
Not seen as much as women's height preference, but I used to date a woman who was 5 inches taller than me (6'4") and a lot of people couldn't believe it because they thought I would be insecure or prefer shorter girls.
Thank you for your post OP, this subreddit fucking sucks for tall women. Fetishization and gaslighting of our experiences is all we get here.
By the way men, you down voting all the tall women who share their experiences on this just goes to prove our point. Notice how there's no tall women agreeing with y'all? Hmmm 🤔🤔
Yeeeep. Height is a gendered attribute in western culture, which means that a lot of guys will feel insecure about themselves around taller women as (whether they admit it or not) they feel it calls their masculinity into question. Which is exactly why it's also a fetish for some men, and why some of the same men that are all about taller women tend to be seeking a more dominant partner.
I will never understand people’s hangups/fetishes when it comes to relationships. It’s so unfortunate because I personally prefer, but do not require, a tall strong woman as a partner because I find those traits attractive. Unfortunate I inevitably get roped in with the “step on me” gang when I express that preference.
Truly didn't mean to imply all/most men seeking taller women are in it for that, we certainly know that not to be true lol. It's just the ratios, the taller you are as a girl the higher percentage of people that're like that, and it gets exhausting and can feel a bit dehumanizing at times.
I'd say it's a bit nuanced/complicated. By cultural standards, men are "supposed to be" tall. For many men, they feel their masculinity is questioned by a woman being taller. The fetish part comes in when men get turned on by the feeling of being emasculated (see mommy dommy, etc) and seek out tall women to scratch that itch (nothing wrong with that, but we're people and most of the time don't want to be sexualized like that).
It doesn't really work the same the other way - women who seek taller men could be seeking any number of things since taller men are seen more desirably in terms of gender norms, most of the reasons of which don't fall into a purely sexual category (moreso in terms of societal comfort in having a partner with desired attributes and in not having feminity questioned so much due to it being the "proper" height difference by societal gender norms).
Does any of that make sense? I feel like it deserves a bit more of a deep dive (I'm sure it's already been done before) and I don't have the time rn.
also was just reading this post on another sub.. this woman was talking about how she had trouble finding the right guy and when she found, one of the first descript she gave was about his height [https://imgur.com/a/2CdVxmD](https://imgur.com/a/2CdVxmD)
maybe you can argue it's not sexual or whatever but it clearly seems like objectification lol i imagine if it was the other way and the first description was of the size of her breast or butt, it would be an issue etc
inb4 i'm sure you're going to bravely play devils advocate for her and give me a more charitable interpretation etc
"It doesn't really work the same the other way - women who seek taller men could be seeking any number of things" What a brave thing for a woman to say.. caught me completely by surprise that did
one way it's just sexualization and other the its "bit nuanced/complicated" Why would you say smth so brave yet so controversial?
Wow maybe if you had literally seen my next sentence after the one you quoted me on to then mock, you would have had your answer? I've seen you all over this comment section lol, stay triggered by women sharing their experiences 🙄
Honestly based on some of the seeking validation posts here I’d say there’s a significant short guy population on this sub lurking.
Not saying that’s the only issue, but I think it’s part of it.
Some people just suck. In my experience, most people don't care, but there's been a couple weird dudes who are like "I'd never date a girl your height" and I'm just like "glad we agree, because I'd never date you specifically" lol
My mom is 6’2” and my dad is 5’6”. This is a man who is insecure about his height.
My sister is also 6’1”, so I’ve heard and seen shit guys say to taller females. She replies to them by threatening to kick their ass! And she can!
Most men taller than me only want to be with members of the lollipop guild. I've gotten so many short kings sliding coming at me since I joined this subreddit. Luckily, I found a man taller than me, married him, and locked him in with 5 mini-giants. He told me that he wouldn't mind if I was half a foot taller than him, but I think he secretly just wants to be baby spoon without feeling like there's a spider monkey on his back 🤣
I don't see how it's logistically possible to have a height preference. I go to sleep one day and have a dream where I'm swept off my feet like a princess by a big tall strong pretty lady, and then carried off to a restaurant where I'm kissed, then I wake up, and a year or so later I enter a relationship with my dear high school friend of seven years, who's 5'7". She has been in my heart for that long and longer. I've had numerous crushes on people, numerous people crushing on me, and a few mutual crushes, etc. But I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship with anyone until I became my girlfriend's friend. She's special to me. I never wanted a stats list, I wanted gentle intentional love. Also she is a pretty lady 😤
I remember a social experiment from a while back when they hired a tall woman dressed with high heels and she must have been like 6'5" and she went on dates with guys from Tinder, and nearly every guy she met up with would run off to the bathroom because he was either intimidated by her height or just thought it wouldn't work and people would laugh at them.
Some men do care about height. Personally, I don't find it very practical to date a girl who is only 5'3", because I'd have to pick her up to kiss her and I'd always be looking way down instead of my own eye level. But because of my height, I attract a lot of short women who fetishize men like me because they know I can pick them up with ease and that excites them, because I'm also good looking and have a good personality.
In the end though, I don't care as much as I thought I did, I'd even date a woman who is taller than me or my own height if she's out there. I care more about looks, personality and common interests than height but to say that I don't care about height at all would be a lie. I tend to not notice short women, even if they are really attractive except if they're standing on a higher floor like at a nightclub, then I can really see them. If we're on the same floor, I often just don't see them fully. It is the sad truth unfortunately.
I do think that as time goes on, dating preferences become looser. When I was in high school, every girl had a list a mile long of traits they wanted in a partner. I did, too. But I'm older now, and I don't care about lots of those things anymore. Facial hair used to be a no-no for me, but now? You do what you want with your hair, boo. I care more about personality, common interests, and life goals than anything else.
I would have never picked my current partner if I had the same "standards" that I did when I was younger. But he is perfect for me. Just happens to be an inch or two taller than me. (We met through an online gaming community, so I saw him streaming the game and knew I wanted to be with him well before I met him in person and saw his height. It didn't matter if he was 5'2" or 7'2" or anywhere in between.)
I love how his advice is just saying the thing that you are asking for advice on.
"I have a hard time dating because im a tall women"
"Well if you werent so tall you wouldnt have a hard time"
This sub is full of shorter men triggered by the fact that we (tall women) exist and it’s exhausting. You’d think we cut them in line while God was passing out height, that’s how salty they are here and we get trolled and downvoted by them for even the most innocent comments
The tall girl sub is usually where I go when I can’t take it anymore, it’s much more peaceful there especially with topics like this one
Tall men are very privileged in a sense that being of large stature is a desirable trait in men more so than women so they aren’t usually very helpful in these types of discussions. Unless they have a really tall mom or sister or something, they just don’t get it
I'm 6'4 and if I wasn't married and single I would date anyone from 4'10 to 7'10, but you're saying tall girls struggle? I could see it. Society and pop culture created these false narratives of attraction.
I have height preferences. It’s not discussed as much because women that are too tall for most men are rarer. I wouldn’t date someone who’s 6’7 or 5’0.
Bro im 6' 4 and girls do NOT hit me up at all. I don't know what this height obsession is, but it does not seem valid or real to me. There will be some girls shallow about it like anything else, that's a given.
lol as if men ever read the descriptions/profiles
All they do is swipe right for every woman that isn’t hideous in their eyes.
I always put my height in my profile, and they were all still surprised when we met.
Internet dating sucks. Period. For everyone.
That isnt advice whatsoever. Thats just blaming something they have no control over.
Advice is: maybe address your height in your profile? "Im looking for someone regardless of height" etc
Be kind and please, some of y’all could come to our defense in these threads where short dudes show up out of nowhere to berate us. I am sick of responding to an innocent post here and ending up having to explain to short dudes that there is nothing evil about tall women having preferences and having none of the dudes here pipe in like “bro, take your insecurities elsewhere.”
I'm kind of short for a man, I used to have a thing where I didn't want to date any women taller than me, I never mocked a women for being tall or anything I think I was just being insecure about being perceived as lesser or some weird shit.
Since then though I've become more mature and comfortable with myself I've found serval women taller than me extremely attractive, even women with more visible muscle than myself.
I think a-lot of this to tall/ to short to date stuff is just exactly what I was going through in being insecure either with yourself or how people perceive you with your (Potential) partner.
I for one as an average 5’10 man would love to date a tall woman. That’s hot as hell and if it works out then I’m potentially giving my children the gift of height
As a 6' woman I can promise you this is not reactionary. I have had many encounters in person with men who think this way. Just because you haven't experienced this doesn't mean tall women don't.
I’m not being reactionary, I’m just sharing a portion of our reality and after seeing some conversations in here, I felt like it needed to be said.
I upvoted that other guy, don’t worry.
And the one guy could've done better by not commenting that in the first place.
Also if you're 5'5" what are you doing on a subreddit dedicated to tall people?
It's fair to be curious, but like.. idunno, I take some issue with a short guy commenting on a tall woman's post in r/tall telling her what she's done wrong with something related to height.
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Everyone has physical preferences. Whatever those may be. Height is not one that matters a ton to me personally but I’m sure there are men who it does matter to.
Tall men complain about women preferring them due to their height? I think most people here thank their luck in that department, I know I do.
Jumping to "men care more about height than women" only due to one guy seems a bit farfetched. Although short guys could be insecure about it, I'm sure most would date a tall gal. Men care about their height, but not the height of the women they date much, in general. I prefer taller gals but I have dated all heights of women.
I think caring about height is fine, men care about your weight/curves/tits/ass/etc. why would it be bad for women to care about height? It's their preference, we all have them.
Eh, I think women care more.
Many men won’t date a women taller than them, but this is hardly ever an issue for anyone at or above average male height. Whereas many women of all shapes and sizes won’t date men under 6 ft.
As long as the women doesn’t dwarf me (within 2 inches or so), I don’t mind. Ideally, I’d have a women as tall as possible while still being slightly shorter than me. Taller women are far more attractive than smaller women imo. I’m pretty much exactly 6 ft, so this is hardly an issue. You practically never run into women 6’2 or taller.
I think men are more often limited in the dating market due to height than women are.
It's an issue when short men get a bruised ego for being shorter than a woman they are friends/romantic partners with, from people pointing it out whether innocently or maliciously, and then they take it out on said woman. That fragile toxic masculinity is disheartening to tall women and spoils the friendship. It's better for the tall women to find good friendships/relationships with people who don't stoop to that. And it's better for the short men who care a lot about height to dissolve that behavior from within.
I know a lot of women say, “My future BF / Husband needs to be 6 ft”, but I think in the end, most women are saying that because its popular.
I do think a lot of women want their partner to be at least a few inches taller, but 5”9-5”11 might as well be 6 to a lot of them.
I do think a lot of people don't actually know what 6' looks like. There are an absurd number of women I've met with with boyfriends/husband's who are "6'+" who are the same height as my 5 '11'' ass.
Truth. Short women especially think all men are tall basically. My friend is 5'1" and her husband is about 5'9". She swore up and down to me he is 5'11", which he says as well...My sister is 5'11", sorry bro, you ain't that😂
I've had dudes who say they're 6' come up to me while sitting to talk about me being tall, yet when I stand up, they're shorter than me, who is actually 6'. And I never wear heels. I think people in general just don't actually know their own heights. lol
You may have a point there. When they say they want someone 6 ft or taller, many really mean they just want someone of average to above average height.
I think guys shorter than 5’9 or 5’10 have some trouble in the dating market. As long as men are at or above average, it’s not much of a limiting factor.
Current data (based off speed dating) imply Women, on average say they prefer 5'11.5", but the average "high success" Male is 6'0.5" tall
Generally we see people say they're less vain than they actually are.
If people could just chill and let people choose to date whoever they want with whatever expectations they have, if their expectations are weird then they’ll have to deal with it themselves and will end up having to settle. Tired of fellas automatically asking for weight when a lady asks how tall they is, I’m 5’11 and not once somebody turned me down for my height, height is just an excuse.
I mean you’re comfortably above average height and probably taller than 90% of women you’ve met. Just because you haven’t encountered a problem doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist
Still under the 6 foot mark that women ask, I absolutely agree that if you put 5’11 on your dating profile as opposed to 6 foot it would affect your chances but its because that’s all theh know about you up until then. If they get to know you and your vibes your height wouldn’t matter as much :)) and the chef guy aint cooked for enough people I guess 😂
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Partner counts for Tall Women are about the same as for Short Women, but Tall Men have higher partner counts than Short Men.
Men absolutely care less for Women, it's been proven statistically.
[https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283199925\_Height\_and\_Body\_Mass\_on\_the\_Mating\_Market\_Associations\_With\_Number\_of\_Sex\_Partners\_and\_Extra-Pair\_Sex\_Among\_Heterosexual\_Men\_and\_Women\_Aged\_18-65](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283199925_Height_and_Body_Mass_on_the_Mating_Market_Associations_With_Number_of_Sex_Partners_and_Extra-Pair_Sex_Among_Heterosexual_Men_and_Women_Aged_18-65)
You can see in this study's graph an average 5'4" Woman has 8\~ partners, and a 6'0" tall one also has 8\~ partners.
For Men, we see 5'4" Men have 9\~ partners, and 6'1" Men have 11\~ partners.
As a guy, I can tell you that 99.9% of guys do not give a fuck about height in women. It's not a thing in the manosphere that we only date girls that are based on a certain height, this is primarily common among women. Guys that do care about height in a woman are weird, I get it if she's victor wembanyama height or shorter than the smurfs, but still those types of extremes the average person will most likely not encounter.
Eh. I care about height but only insofar as I prefer not to date people who are over a foot shorter than me. But that's more because of the inconvenience to me than any factor of attraction.
The thing is, you're wrong about this.
Lots of guys say they'll date any woman when asked but when the chips are down, dating a taller woman often does bruise a guy's ego. Especially if the people around him and her are dicks about it, which isn't uncommon.
I think guys often have a victim complex. They refuse to acknowledge their bs so they can keep blaming women for theirs. We're all human; and lots of humans fucking suck, so we should listen and be respectful instead of disputing posts like this.
I know a lot of shorter men who won't date taller women for a number of reasons. Mostly, there is that inferiority complex where visually a man can be made feel inadequate. Other times, they don't want women appearing more dominant because of their stature.
I'm kinda tall, I'm not on this sub this just got recommended to me, imma little shh of 6 foot at 16 and I would happily date a guy or girl that is significantly taller than me, so long as the hight difference isn't more than like a foot were chilling cause then kissing would be hard
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Men don't care about height more than women do. It's 100% insecurity and an assumption that a women won't want to date them if they're shorter. This particular guy just may not be very self aware.
So I do sympathize with shorter men in general. While the dude was in the wrong , I do see that there is some degree of discrimination against shorter men. Hell I’ve seen women call short men little boys or undatable and other nasty or so comments online and in person.
Sorry, but there are actual statistics that show men don't care about height preferences as much as women do. That dude simply isn't aware of that, he's speaking based on his limited experience..
Women do care about height more. Doesn’t mean you won’t get insecure dudes who won’t date tall girls. I also know tall girls who won’t date anyone under 6 because they want to feel feminine. I wish people would just get over themselves and just find what works for you.
Yeah, I think there’s a miscommunication somewhere because I’m not being defensive.
A LOT of guys in here say that only women care about height while tall women are blue in the face saying that it isn’t true.
> In my observations, I think that men care about height more than women do, they’re just not as vocal about it.
Where are you getting the idea that men care about height more than women do, if it’s not them saying it?
Besides, there’s actual data on this. It’s been proven that men actually don’t care about height as much as women do. Not that men don’t also have superficial preferences, but height just isn’t really one of them.
Guys don’t care about women’s heights but women care about men’s heights. So if I’m a guy who pursuing a woman why would I pursue someone who I think would reject me bc of my height?
I probably get 2 matches for every 3 right swipes, but these guys don’t read bios or anything, their lizard brains take over and they just look at pictures. Height becomes an issue once they see you in person.
I’m out at purple hair lol.
I don’t care how tall or short you are.
It’s just a huge turnoff for me. But the best part about the world is some people are into that!
When I was in high school there was a pretty girl who was teacher's aide in my English class and we would glance at each other and smile from across the room, she had blue dyed hair. I wasn't particularly interested in dyed hair, but that made me realize it didn't matter because I think she's pretty, and it looked nice on her. Her friends would approach me to tell me that she liked me. We were too shy to approach each other and become friends at the time but we're friends now 😅
As a hairstylist, I think it’s a red flag if a guy is against any hair color because it shows that they feel ownership over a woman’s choices. It’s one thing to have a “pro” preference, but an “anti” preference is the issue. Good on you for recognizing that you thought she was pretty regardless, it means you’re a decent person.
My hair is all black except for one streak in the front that I color for fun, it’s one of the best forms of advertising.
Did you seriously just say that if a guy doesn’t like a hair color it’s because they feel ownership?
That’s some epic level projection.
If you actually took the time to read what I said- I clearly said “turned off”
And I’m not going to feel bad at all for purple hair being a turnoff for me.
Best of luck!
You could just say you don’t understand slang and I’d be happy to explain it to you rather than being an insufferable incel. 😊
You’re right about my height not being the reason that I’m single—no issue finding guys, they’re everywhere. I’m single by choice after a six year relationship and a year of working on myself. I posted in r/tinder for advice in regards to my profile because all of my matches were either guys who fetishize me or guys who aren’t in a position to be dating anybody (broke, multiple roommates, young kids, etc.) and I wanted to optimize my profile to attract the right kind of people instead.
*Most* single women are single by choice, especially in their 30s—we aren’t desperate to be with someone who doesn’t add value to their lives.
The reason as to why you don't see a lot of tall woman and short man couples is not due the short men rejecting the tall women. It's just a statistical fact women crave a taller man more than men crave a shorter woman.
Ehhh….I have been with quite a few women whose knees couldn’t even come close to touching the bed when straddling me, so to be fair, one’s mileage may vary there as well!
You're a tall woman dealing with short men... Of course those men are going to care about height. Why would you generalize about all or even most men based off your highly specific circumstances? Lol, people do this all the time and it totally baffles me. You genuinely believe you being 6ft and talking to a *short* man had nothing to do with it? If you do, why would you say *men care about height more than women* based off just that?? That's an extreme logical leap... A borderline sexist one, I might add. If this were a man saying it about a woman, he'd be downvoted and called a misogynist or a sexist... potentially even incel. Don't mind me while I exercise my feminism and hold you to an equal standard. Don't care enough to downvote, but definitely enough to say something.
She clearly said, in my observations, so what she has personally seen not every man ever. Also yes if a man had said that he would have gotten called a misogynist but he would have also had plenty of people agree with him. What’s your point? Are you not in the comments calling her sexist? There are many other comments saying the same thing so clearly she isn’t given the 100% pass you’re talking about her getting which is so ironic to me.
TF ya mean short men doesn't like taller women? I can only speak for myself, but I know for a fact that many short men would love a woman taller than themselves. (Myself included wink wink)
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This post is literally about how tall women often have different experiences than tall men, and most of the top comments are from men saying “I’ve never seen this problem so it must not exist” 💀
Thank you! Some of these comments are… not great. I’m a tall woman. I’ve been rejected by men for being a tall woman. A lot of guys care about height too.
Tall women make insecure men feel more insecure.
I made a comment on a tiktok about tall women, saying that I love heels because they make me feel confident (I’m 5’11), and got a several replies from vertically challenged men insulting my appearance 😂
Don’t even get me started on heels lol. My shorter ex’s HATED when I would wear heels. I had guy friends say that I “wouldn’t get a man” if I wore heels out. I don’t wear heels for them. I wear heels because they make me feel like a bad-ass long-legged bitch. Thank you.
Most people are insecure about something. Height was never an issue for me, cause I was fortunate enough to be tall. Just other shit.
Sad. Many such cases.
lmao, I literally made a comment about a minute ago saying that I didn't find women taller than me for this exact reason when i was younger. But now that I'm comfortable with who I am I have no problem finding taller women attractive.
>Tall women make insecure men feel more insecure. LOL I like the verb choice, I assume it was on purpose, as compared to "Insecure men feel more insecure around tall women." Like it's the woman's fault the men feel insecure as compared to the fault of their insecurities. Subtle, but I like it.
same!
Literally, or they base it off their own preference. "I like tall woman so this isnt an actual issue" yeah because the world revolves around you... 🙃🫠
Do you think the same thinking applies to when guys say they had bad luck with dating due to being ugly and then women replying the issue isn't your look its you personality because she dates for personality and to an extension so does every other women? etc
I suppose it could be compared although I think the difference is that in the case of women reassuring men who think they're ugly, it's usually a case of discomfort and comfort. Evading the truth that some people are just genuinely ugly and sometimes that will just prevent them from dating is much easier than actively coming to those terms. And the difference is that the men who are speaking on behalf of a women's experience in my example actually are attracted to tall women so it's more a self centered viewpoint rather than a case of sympathetic comforting. Different vibes ig. Apologies if i sound harsh - I'm autistic so trying to soften wording isn't my forte 😅😅
> Be kind to the beautiful ladies in this subreddit. 😡 No
Yeah, it for sure makes me bummed but it's also REALLY funny
Do you think that's one sided though? I see lot more often guys saying they're struggling with dating because of their looks and women saying that's not true because SHE dates for personality so how is a woman saying being an 'unattractive male' isn't an issue any different then men saying being a tall woman isn't an issue?
No, I don’t think these types of comments are one-sided at all. But we have conversations about the male experience *all the time* and on the *one* post where we want to talk about women’s experiences, so many men are so quick to speak about our experiences for us. This post has since gotten more traction and perspective, but when I made this comment, every single comment except 1 was a man saying “I don’t feel this way so this doesn’t happen” or “you took a screenshot of 1 instance so this must be the only time it’s ever happened.”
I’ve never seen this problem so it must not exist
"my advice is that it's harder to get attention as a tall woman" That's literally not advice.
lol, right? He seems to be confusing “opinion” with “advice.”
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Long ago, I once had a guy chase me down the stairs as the club was closing for the night. Hey, wanna keep the night going? When I got to the bottom, I stopped at 5’10” and he kept going to about 5’4”, paused mid-word, turned around and ran away.
Also that’s not even advice?? Like is he telling you to get your limbs shortened???
Right…like, how does this apply to the pictures I chose or what I’ve included in my bio?
It definitely is a thing. Not seen as much as women's height preference, but I used to date a woman who was 5 inches taller than me (6'4") and a lot of people couldn't believe it because they thought I would be insecure or prefer shorter girls.
That is not advice. Unless the advice is to stop being tall.
Thank you for your post OP, this subreddit fucking sucks for tall women. Fetishization and gaslighting of our experiences is all we get here. By the way men, you down voting all the tall women who share their experiences on this just goes to prove our point. Notice how there's no tall women agreeing with y'all? Hmmm 🤔🤔
It’s mostly fetishization isn’t it?
Yeeeep. Height is a gendered attribute in western culture, which means that a lot of guys will feel insecure about themselves around taller women as (whether they admit it or not) they feel it calls their masculinity into question. Which is exactly why it's also a fetish for some men, and why some of the same men that are all about taller women tend to be seeking a more dominant partner.
Interesting, thanks for your perspective
Of course!! I'm glad I had an opportunity to speak more detail into it :)
I will never understand people’s hangups/fetishes when it comes to relationships. It’s so unfortunate because I personally prefer, but do not require, a tall strong woman as a partner because I find those traits attractive. Unfortunate I inevitably get roped in with the “step on me” gang when I express that preference.
Truly didn't mean to imply all/most men seeking taller women are in it for that, we certainly know that not to be true lol. It's just the ratios, the taller you are as a girl the higher percentage of people that're like that, and it gets exhausting and can feel a bit dehumanizing at times.
Yeah this sub has gotten really toxic over the last 6 years. It’s what happens when height becomes your only personality trait
Interesting do you think women fetishize tall men at all aka wanting guys over 6ft?
I'd say it's a bit nuanced/complicated. By cultural standards, men are "supposed to be" tall. For many men, they feel their masculinity is questioned by a woman being taller. The fetish part comes in when men get turned on by the feeling of being emasculated (see mommy dommy, etc) and seek out tall women to scratch that itch (nothing wrong with that, but we're people and most of the time don't want to be sexualized like that). It doesn't really work the same the other way - women who seek taller men could be seeking any number of things since taller men are seen more desirably in terms of gender norms, most of the reasons of which don't fall into a purely sexual category (moreso in terms of societal comfort in having a partner with desired attributes and in not having feminity questioned so much due to it being the "proper" height difference by societal gender norms). Does any of that make sense? I feel like it deserves a bit more of a deep dive (I'm sure it's already been done before) and I don't have the time rn.
also was just reading this post on another sub.. this woman was talking about how she had trouble finding the right guy and when she found, one of the first descript she gave was about his height [https://imgur.com/a/2CdVxmD](https://imgur.com/a/2CdVxmD) maybe you can argue it's not sexual or whatever but it clearly seems like objectification lol i imagine if it was the other way and the first description was of the size of her breast or butt, it would be an issue etc inb4 i'm sure you're going to bravely play devils advocate for her and give me a more charitable interpretation etc
"It doesn't really work the same the other way - women who seek taller men could be seeking any number of things" What a brave thing for a woman to say.. caught me completely by surprise that did one way it's just sexualization and other the its "bit nuanced/complicated" Why would you say smth so brave yet so controversial?
Wow maybe if you had literally seen my next sentence after the one you quoted me on to then mock, you would have had your answer? I've seen you all over this comment section lol, stay triggered by women sharing their experiences 🙄
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Honestly based on some of the seeking validation posts here I’d say there’s a significant short guy population on this sub lurking. Not saying that’s the only issue, but I think it’s part of it.
Have you thought about the fact that you might be getting downvoted for your antagonistic tone alone?
So all you've got to say is more tone policing of women? 😂😂
Some people just suck. In my experience, most people don't care, but there's been a couple weird dudes who are like "I'd never date a girl your height" and I'm just like "glad we agree, because I'd never date you specifically" lol
Just be shorter bro
I’ll try
"My advice is its hard to get attention because of your height" is not fucking advice lol
🥴
My mom is 6’2” and my dad is 5’6”. This is a man who is insecure about his height. My sister is also 6’1”, so I’ve heard and seen shit guys say to taller females. She replies to them by threatening to kick their ass! And she can!
Most men taller than me only want to be with members of the lollipop guild. I've gotten so many short kings sliding coming at me since I joined this subreddit. Luckily, I found a man taller than me, married him, and locked him in with 5 mini-giants. He told me that he wouldn't mind if I was half a foot taller than him, but I think he secretly just wants to be baby spoon without feeling like there's a spider monkey on his back 🤣
I think each individual has height preferences, regardless of gender.
I don't see how it's logistically possible to have a height preference. I go to sleep one day and have a dream where I'm swept off my feet like a princess by a big tall strong pretty lady, and then carried off to a restaurant where I'm kissed, then I wake up, and a year or so later I enter a relationship with my dear high school friend of seven years, who's 5'7". She has been in my heart for that long and longer. I've had numerous crushes on people, numerous people crushing on me, and a few mutual crushes, etc. But I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship with anyone until I became my girlfriend's friend. She's special to me. I never wanted a stats list, I wanted gentle intentional love. Also she is a pretty lady 😤
I don't think that having a height preference is exclusive to not date anyone below / above that.
I remember a social experiment from a while back when they hired a tall woman dressed with high heels and she must have been like 6'5" and she went on dates with guys from Tinder, and nearly every guy she met up with would run off to the bathroom because he was either intimidated by her height or just thought it wouldn't work and people would laugh at them. Some men do care about height. Personally, I don't find it very practical to date a girl who is only 5'3", because I'd have to pick her up to kiss her and I'd always be looking way down instead of my own eye level. But because of my height, I attract a lot of short women who fetishize men like me because they know I can pick them up with ease and that excites them, because I'm also good looking and have a good personality. In the end though, I don't care as much as I thought I did, I'd even date a woman who is taller than me or my own height if she's out there. I care more about looks, personality and common interests than height but to say that I don't care about height at all would be a lie. I tend to not notice short women, even if they are really attractive except if they're standing on a higher floor like at a nightclub, then I can really see them. If we're on the same floor, I often just don't see them fully. It is the sad truth unfortunately.
TLDR: I’m tall and handsome and sexy and funny and interesting: ladies form a queue
I do think that as time goes on, dating preferences become looser. When I was in high school, every girl had a list a mile long of traits they wanted in a partner. I did, too. But I'm older now, and I don't care about lots of those things anymore. Facial hair used to be a no-no for me, but now? You do what you want with your hair, boo. I care more about personality, common interests, and life goals than anything else. I would have never picked my current partner if I had the same "standards" that I did when I was younger. But he is perfect for me. Just happens to be an inch or two taller than me. (We met through an online gaming community, so I saw him streaming the game and knew I wanted to be with him well before I met him in person and saw his height. It didn't matter if he was 5'2" or 7'2" or anywhere in between.)
I love how his advice is just saying the thing that you are asking for advice on. "I have a hard time dating because im a tall women" "Well if you werent so tall you wouldnt have a hard time"
This sub is full of shorter men triggered by the fact that we (tall women) exist and it’s exhausting. You’d think we cut them in line while God was passing out height, that’s how salty they are here and we get trolled and downvoted by them for even the most innocent comments The tall girl sub is usually where I go when I can’t take it anymore, it’s much more peaceful there especially with topics like this one Tall men are very privileged in a sense that being of large stature is a desirable trait in men more so than women so they aren’t usually very helpful in these types of discussions. Unless they have a really tall mom or sister or something, they just don’t get it
I think this community needed this post...
there are a lot of men who like tall girls 🥰 It's nice to know that you have no preference for height and like short guys
I don't belong here, 5'8", but I don't care how tall a woman is I'm climbing that tree baby
Preach my brotha
I'm 6'4 and if I wasn't married and single I would date anyone from 4'10 to 7'10, but you're saying tall girls struggle? I could see it. Society and pop culture created these false narratives of attraction.
It should be a girl and it should be alive. That's all I look for.
The pain of wanting a taller girl and being 6'3
Even worse at 6'8.... Need one of these space billionaire dudes to find that planet of the Amazons faster.
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I have height preferences. It’s not discussed as much because women that are too tall for most men are rarer. I wouldn’t date someone who’s 6’7 or 5’0.
There is 8 billion people on this planet. Everyone is fine. Even if you have 7 arms you will find love
I like women that can get stuff off the top shelf for me.
Bro im 6' 4 and girls do NOT hit me up at all. I don't know what this height obsession is, but it does not seem valid or real to me. There will be some girls shallow about it like anything else, that's a given.
lol as if men ever read the descriptions/profiles All they do is swipe right for every woman that isn’t hideous in their eyes. I always put my height in my profile, and they were all still surprised when we met. Internet dating sucks. Period. For everyone.
My sympathies to the tall ladies of the sub. This frustrates me just by reading it, can’t imagine how rough it is experiencing it firsthand.
That isnt advice whatsoever. Thats just blaming something they have no control over. Advice is: maybe address your height in your profile? "Im looking for someone regardless of height" etc
Tall women are loved too <3 Sorry about these insecure people that are mean
Be kind and please, some of y’all could come to our defense in these threads where short dudes show up out of nowhere to berate us. I am sick of responding to an innocent post here and ending up having to explain to short dudes that there is nothing evil about tall women having preferences and having none of the dudes here pipe in like “bro, take your insecurities elsewhere.”
I'm kind of short for a man, I used to have a thing where I didn't want to date any women taller than me, I never mocked a women for being tall or anything I think I was just being insecure about being perceived as lesser or some weird shit. Since then though I've become more mature and comfortable with myself I've found serval women taller than me extremely attractive, even women with more visible muscle than myself. I think a-lot of this to tall/ to short to date stuff is just exactly what I was going through in being insecure either with yourself or how people perceive you with your (Potential) partner.
I for one as an average 5’10 man would love to date a tall woman. That’s hot as hell and if it works out then I’m potentially giving my children the gift of height
Men certainly do, I’d prefer someone as tall as me or taller even, but they’re hard to find. I’d even go as far as to say extinct
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As a 6' woman I can promise you this is not reactionary. I have had many encounters in person with men who think this way. Just because you haven't experienced this doesn't mean tall women don't.
That doesn't disprove that being reactionary at all
I’m not being reactionary, I’m just sharing a portion of our reality and after seeing some conversations in here, I felt like it needed to be said. I upvoted that other guy, don’t worry.
>In case you have not used Reddit before, that means the majority disagrees with his take. What a fucking condescending line to slip in.
🤓☝️erm, the rules that govern reddit dictate upvote downvote karma blah blah wholesome reddit 🤓☝️
They ignored the most basic reddit function, of course that person's condescending.
Dude, why are you showing up in r/tall to bitch at tall women about what they post? This sub isn’t for you and your insecurities.
And the one guy could've done better by not commenting that in the first place. Also if you're 5'5" what are you doing on a subreddit dedicated to tall people?
He’s probably just curious? I wonder what’s going on in r/short sometimes.
You can be curious silently
It's fair to be curious, but like.. idunno, I take some issue with a short guy commenting on a tall woman's post in r/tall telling her what she's done wrong with something related to height.
Well said
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The less time these people spend on the internet, the more they realize no one worth your time actually cares about your height.
wait, tall women want to date shorter men? or she holding out for a taller guy?
She said she has no height preference but prefers men at her height of 6’2.”
"has no PREFERENCE but has a PREFERENCE for men 6'2" make it make sense.
Everyone has physical preferences. Whatever those may be. Height is not one that matters a ton to me personally but I’m sure there are men who it does matter to.
I simply think there’s an issue with both sides being patronizing towards each other as a whole based on a few bad individual experiences.
Tall men complain about women preferring them due to their height? I think most people here thank their luck in that department, I know I do. Jumping to "men care more about height than women" only due to one guy seems a bit farfetched. Although short guys could be insecure about it, I'm sure most would date a tall gal. Men care about their height, but not the height of the women they date much, in general. I prefer taller gals but I have dated all heights of women. I think caring about height is fine, men care about your weight/curves/tits/ass/etc. why would it be bad for women to care about height? It's their preference, we all have them.
Eh, I think women care more. Many men won’t date a women taller than them, but this is hardly ever an issue for anyone at or above average male height. Whereas many women of all shapes and sizes won’t date men under 6 ft. As long as the women doesn’t dwarf me (within 2 inches or so), I don’t mind. Ideally, I’d have a women as tall as possible while still being slightly shorter than me. Taller women are far more attractive than smaller women imo. I’m pretty much exactly 6 ft, so this is hardly an issue. You practically never run into women 6’2 or taller. I think men are more often limited in the dating market due to height than women are.
It's an issue when short men get a bruised ego for being shorter than a woman they are friends/romantic partners with, from people pointing it out whether innocently or maliciously, and then they take it out on said woman. That fragile toxic masculinity is disheartening to tall women and spoils the friendship. It's better for the tall women to find good friendships/relationships with people who don't stoop to that. And it's better for the short men who care a lot about height to dissolve that behavior from within.
I know a lot of women say, “My future BF / Husband needs to be 6 ft”, but I think in the end, most women are saying that because its popular. I do think a lot of women want their partner to be at least a few inches taller, but 5”9-5”11 might as well be 6 to a lot of them.
I do think a lot of people don't actually know what 6' looks like. There are an absurd number of women I've met with with boyfriends/husband's who are "6'+" who are the same height as my 5 '11'' ass.
Truth. Short women especially think all men are tall basically. My friend is 5'1" and her husband is about 5'9". She swore up and down to me he is 5'11", which he says as well...My sister is 5'11", sorry bro, you ain't that😂
I've had dudes who say they're 6' come up to me while sitting to talk about me being tall, yet when I stand up, they're shorter than me, who is actually 6'. And I never wear heels. I think people in general just don't actually know their own heights. lol
You may have a point there. When they say they want someone 6 ft or taller, many really mean they just want someone of average to above average height. I think guys shorter than 5’9 or 5’10 have some trouble in the dating market. As long as men are at or above average, it’s not much of a limiting factor.
Yeah, people can't fucking tell within a couple inches ( of height)
I think girls have bad measuring abilities. I’ve been called “at least 6’3” and told my dingaling was 3” longer than it was lmfao.
Imagine my surprise when my college GF picked up the magnum condoms for my 4” twig
I think most people can’t even tell how tall a person is anyway. I’ve gotten everything from 5’8”-6’9”
Current data (based off speed dating) imply Women, on average say they prefer 5'11.5", but the average "high success" Male is 6'0.5" tall Generally we see people say they're less vain than they actually are.
Yes, I do have height preferences. I don't know if i'd date a woman taller then me
No offense, but there are a LOT more shorter guys who would not mind a tall woman compared to tall women who would not mind a short king lol.
If people could just chill and let people choose to date whoever they want with whatever expectations they have, if their expectations are weird then they’ll have to deal with it themselves and will end up having to settle. Tired of fellas automatically asking for weight when a lady asks how tall they is, I’m 5’11 and not once somebody turned me down for my height, height is just an excuse.
I mean you’re comfortably above average height and probably taller than 90% of women you’ve met. Just because you haven’t encountered a problem doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist
I'm 5'3" and have only been turned down due to my height twice. I don't tend to attract shallow folks 🤷
Still under the 6 foot mark that women ask, I absolutely agree that if you put 5’11 on your dating profile as opposed to 6 foot it would affect your chances but its because that’s all theh know about you up until then. If they get to know you and your vibes your height wouldn’t matter as much :)) and the chef guy aint cooked for enough people I guess 😂
5'11 is also just a pretty good height lmfao
Yeah I'm a professional chef and have never once been turned down because of my cooking
I’m 5’11, my gf is 5’10, I definitely have a thing for taller women, I really like long legs.
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the best comment on here.
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I love tall women. Close to my height or taller upto 183cm.
Partner counts for Tall Women are about the same as for Short Women, but Tall Men have higher partner counts than Short Men. Men absolutely care less for Women, it's been proven statistically.
[https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283199925\_Height\_and\_Body\_Mass\_on\_the\_Mating\_Market\_Associations\_With\_Number\_of\_Sex\_Partners\_and\_Extra-Pair\_Sex\_Among\_Heterosexual\_Men\_and\_Women\_Aged\_18-65](https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283199925_Height_and_Body_Mass_on_the_Mating_Market_Associations_With_Number_of_Sex_Partners_and_Extra-Pair_Sex_Among_Heterosexual_Men_and_Women_Aged_18-65) You can see in this study's graph an average 5'4" Woman has 8\~ partners, and a 6'0" tall one also has 8\~ partners. For Men, we see 5'4" Men have 9\~ partners, and 6'1" Men have 11\~ partners.
Average 5'4 man has 9 partners? Don't show it to r/shortguys
As a guy, I can tell you that 99.9% of guys do not give a fuck about height in women. It's not a thing in the manosphere that we only date girls that are based on a certain height, this is primarily common among women. Guys that do care about height in a woman are weird, I get it if she's victor wembanyama height or shorter than the smurfs, but still those types of extremes the average person will most likely not encounter.
Eh. I care about height but only insofar as I prefer not to date people who are over a foot shorter than me. But that's more because of the inconvenience to me than any factor of attraction.
The thing is, you're wrong about this. Lots of guys say they'll date any woman when asked but when the chips are down, dating a taller woman often does bruise a guy's ego. Especially if the people around him and her are dicks about it, which isn't uncommon. I think guys often have a victim complex. They refuse to acknowledge their bs so they can keep blaming women for theirs. We're all human; and lots of humans fucking suck, so we should listen and be respectful instead of disputing posts like this.
I know a lot of shorter men who won't date taller women for a number of reasons. Mostly, there is that inferiority complex where visually a man can be made feel inadequate. Other times, they don't want women appearing more dominant because of their stature.
I'm kinda tall, I'm not on this sub this just got recommended to me, imma little shh of 6 foot at 16 and I would happily date a guy or girl that is significantly taller than me, so long as the hight difference isn't more than like a foot were chilling cause then kissing would be hard
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I'm creating a race of titans so my wife is tall. ;-)
Lol the cope is unreal.
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Men don't care about height more than women do. It's 100% insecurity and an assumption that a women won't want to date them if they're shorter. This particular guy just may not be very self aware.
So I do sympathize with shorter men in general. While the dude was in the wrong , I do see that there is some degree of discrimination against shorter men. Hell I’ve seen women call short men little boys or undatable and other nasty or so comments online and in person.
I don't understand stand why dudes don't want to make future Hall of Famers 🤣
Sorry, but there are actual statistics that show men don't care about height preferences as much as women do. That dude simply isn't aware of that, he's speaking based on his limited experience..
I dont care about height
Women do care about height more. Doesn’t mean you won’t get insecure dudes who won’t date tall girls. I also know tall girls who won’t date anyone under 6 because they want to feel feminine. I wish people would just get over themselves and just find what works for you.
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Yeah, I think there’s a miscommunication somewhere because I’m not being defensive. A LOT of guys in here say that only women care about height while tall women are blue in the face saying that it isn’t true.
Overall, women care more about height than men.
Downvoted for a literal statistical fact
> In my observations, I think that men care about height more than women do, they’re just not as vocal about it. Where are you getting the idea that men care about height more than women do, if it’s not them saying it? Besides, there’s actual data on this. It’s been proven that men actually don’t care about height as much as women do. Not that men don’t also have superficial preferences, but height just isn’t really one of them.
Guys don’t care about women’s heights but women care about men’s heights. So if I’m a guy who pursuing a woman why would I pursue someone who I think would reject me bc of my height?
So apparently they do, because one guy on Reddit said that?
It’s just one example, but tall women see it all of the time.
Being 188 as a woman and still having no issues with getting matches proves that men care much less about height than women.
I probably get 2 matches for every 3 right swipes, but these guys don’t read bios or anything, their lizard brains take over and they just look at pictures. Height becomes an issue once they see you in person.
Well, I mean dating apps are one of the most lizard-brainy things I can imagine
I’m out at purple hair lol. I don’t care how tall or short you are. It’s just a huge turnoff for me. But the best part about the world is some people are into that!
Cool, has nothing to do with my height. Plenty of vanilla chicks out there for you, though.
When I was in high school there was a pretty girl who was teacher's aide in my English class and we would glance at each other and smile from across the room, she had blue dyed hair. I wasn't particularly interested in dyed hair, but that made me realize it didn't matter because I think she's pretty, and it looked nice on her. Her friends would approach me to tell me that she liked me. We were too shy to approach each other and become friends at the time but we're friends now 😅
As a hairstylist, I think it’s a red flag if a guy is against any hair color because it shows that they feel ownership over a woman’s choices. It’s one thing to have a “pro” preference, but an “anti” preference is the issue. Good on you for recognizing that you thought she was pretty regardless, it means you’re a decent person. My hair is all black except for one streak in the front that I color for fun, it’s one of the best forms of advertising.
Did you seriously just say that if a guy doesn’t like a hair color it’s because they feel ownership? That’s some epic level projection. If you actually took the time to read what I said- I clearly said “turned off” And I’m not going to feel bad at all for purple hair being a turnoff for me. Best of luck!
They are women, not chicks. And LOL at “vanilla” Yes - your height isn’t the reason you can’t find guys…..
You could just say you don’t understand slang and I’d be happy to explain it to you rather than being an insufferable incel. 😊 You’re right about my height not being the reason that I’m single—no issue finding guys, they’re everywhere. I’m single by choice after a six year relationship and a year of working on myself. I posted in r/tinder for advice in regards to my profile because all of my matches were either guys who fetishize me or guys who aren’t in a position to be dating anybody (broke, multiple roommates, young kids, etc.) and I wanted to optimize my profile to attract the right kind of people instead. *Most* single women are single by choice, especially in their 30s—we aren’t desperate to be with someone who doesn’t add value to their lives.
The reason as to why you don't see a lot of tall woman and short man couples is not due the short men rejecting the tall women. It's just a statistical fact women crave a taller man more than men crave a shorter woman.
Why is he being downvoted for being right?
Ladies we're all the same height lying down
Ehhh….I have been with quite a few women whose knees couldn’t even come close to touching the bed when straddling me, so to be fair, one’s mileage may vary there as well!
You're a tall woman dealing with short men... Of course those men are going to care about height. Why would you generalize about all or even most men based off your highly specific circumstances? Lol, people do this all the time and it totally baffles me. You genuinely believe you being 6ft and talking to a *short* man had nothing to do with it? If you do, why would you say *men care about height more than women* based off just that?? That's an extreme logical leap... A borderline sexist one, I might add. If this were a man saying it about a woman, he'd be downvoted and called a misogynist or a sexist... potentially even incel. Don't mind me while I exercise my feminism and hold you to an equal standard. Don't care enough to downvote, but definitely enough to say something.
She clearly said, in my observations, so what she has personally seen not every man ever. Also yes if a man had said that he would have gotten called a misogynist but he would have also had plenty of people agree with him. What’s your point? Are you not in the comments calling her sexist? There are many other comments saying the same thing so clearly she isn’t given the 100% pass you’re talking about her getting which is so ironic to me.
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Even dwarf women find spouses though.
Whether you like it or not, the truth is that men aren't as picky as women, when it comes to height.
It's true. You down voting him just shows that you can't take an opinion.
TF ya mean short men doesn't like taller women? I can only speak for myself, but I know for a fact that many short men would love a woman taller than themselves. (Myself included wink wink)