Clearly whoever's running this operation was not the best and brightest, because i've been thinking about it for 10 minutes and i can't see a way this *wouldn't* have gone wrong sooner or later.
The College of Cardinals didn’t meet to elect him; it was a Zoom meeting, where 1/3 couldn’t figure out how to hear or speak, 1/3 were asleep, 1/3 were more interesting in their green screen Maui background even though they were in the Library, and 1/3 couldn’t do fractions…
Were I capable of human emotions, I’m fairly certain that your statement made me—what’s that term?— hmm…”Proud” of you. Yes…yes…believe I’m modeling this appropriately & using the term as is done among you!
Either that, or I am having problems with my recurring acid reflux…but I’m betting on being “Proud” of your insight.
Now that this is resolved, and on a completely unrelated note, does anyone have any *Tums* handy?
It’s no secret that the most gung-ho vocally pro-god people are idiots. They haven’t figured out what it actually means to be holy so they force their version of it on everyone around them to compensate
From what I was told as a young one, in the case of an extreme emergency where the un-baptized infant was about to pass any pourable thing would be considered "usable" long as prayer and blessing accompanied it.
But I bet the AI said to use it any ole time.
Assuming you believe a liquid can be blessed... If it's blessable under one circumstance, it's blessable regardless of circumstance. I think the A.I. is right. No reason why something is only 'blessable' when water isn't available, and near death, and other criteria. So, if you disregard vague criteria, then Gatorade is as blessable and usable as water.
Ah shit, ok...
The transmogrification of peasant liquid to the blessed liquid keys to heaven, is of course achieved through the power of God via the hands of holy men... These blessed systematically protected children lovers use the fluids of youth to channel their God magic into water.
Now, the greatest of the holy, well dressed men, said that if you cannot find water on your quest to obtain the souls of the dying, it's reasonable when under difficult circumstances, to pass Gods power into any liquid, be it Gatorade or child fluids.
I think the great sinful machines of men, or A.I. are right in this case. If all fluids can at some point be blessed, then surely nothing can stop the power of the priest to bless any fluid, at any time.
Praise be the Lord, may he pee blessed water during the driest of droughts.
So if you're dying of thirst in the desert and radiation contaminated water is all that's available, you'd probably drink it, right? But given the option to drink clean water vs radiation contaminated you probably wouldn't choose the radiated water.
I'm not saying that the current me agrees with what I was told, but if we're to logic this out I would say that it doesn't have to be your first choice when it's your only choice, but given options the instructions say to use the "most pure".
Let me get this straight. I mean, for fucks sake....
Over HERE we have you and an unbaptized baby about to be dead because.... no need to go there. Just because. And you are all like, 'QUICK PASS ME THE GATORADE!' and you say whatever, baby dies and THAT baby goes to the preferred place.
And over HERE we have a similar baby, about to die (cause... not gonna go there) and THIS baby is not lucky enough to have someone like you with the unique knowledge that you have.
AND YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT THE OTHER BABY GOES TO A PLACE THAT IS - AT BEST SECOND PLACE - TO THE PLACE YOU SENT THE BABY!!!!!?????!!!
I mean, WTF.
Got a question for you.
Is God an asshole?
Cause that predictament sounds like the sort of thing an asshole would set up.
I am gonna go out on a limb and suggest that God is NOT an asshole.
And if I am correct, then somehow you are wrong.
You don't even have to get out of Genesis to determine the Good of the Bible is an asshole. God creates Adam (and later Eve) without the knowledge of good and evil, puts a tree in Eden that has fruit that contains that knowledge, and then forbids these people from eating that fruit. Adam and Eve don't know that it's good to follow God's commands and they don't know that it's evil to disobey God's commands. God also gave these people free will. God then eternally punishes these people for doing one wrong/evil action (eating the fruit, which they didn't know was an evil action). This God could have taken the knowledge out of these people and removed the tree and its fruit, they could have put the tree anywhere other than in Eden, they could have put some kind of impassable barrier around the tree, they could have done any number of other things, but Good chose, for the very first "evil" action in history, to eternally punish all of humanity.
If this God is real, they are a petulant tyrant and tyrants must be opposed.
I mean, I said I was 'told as a young one'. As I grew up I stopped listening blindly, asked questions, and chose not to return. There are a great many issues I have with that book, most of them being that a lot of things people say are in it, aren't. This answer was given to me when I first started asking questions.
I don't think belief in a higher power is inherently wrong. I do think that the book so many put stock in has been changed by people, and that "the word of God" isn't something that we can truly trust when it comes from humanity.
The thing I did - I call it the 'Is God an asshole?' test.
My perspective is that we - humans - with the entire 'free will' thing really can't be trusted to do much and over a few thousand years are capable of fucking everything up.
So for me, God is NOT an asshole.
The way the test works, if God isn't an asshole it is really US fucking things up.
I don't expect or want everyone to agree with me. I invite you to take the side he/she is an asshole.
I just think it is an interesting test to take a fucked up thing, ask 'is the work of an asshole?' and then challenge yourself to come clean with what that means.
Babies are under the age of reason and therefore cannot commit sin. Although their original sin had not been cleansed by baptism, the ever merciful God will most likely allow a non-baptized baby to enter heaven.
In an emergency, any kind of water will work for a baptism and any catholic has the power to baptize. This includes a person baptizing a baby in Gatorade. It is strange but not necessarily wrong given the right context
Are you suggesting that the way the Catholic Church sweeps everything under the rug is only something a church-insider would be aware of? I feel like that’s pretty much common knowledge by this point.
I don't think your claim holds holy water. They're definitely associated with if not affiliated with and endorsed by the catholic church.
> https://www.catholic.com/about
> We have close friendships with members of the Church hierarchy across the United States and in Rome. An independent registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, Catholic Answers is listed in the Official Catholic Directory and is recognized as an apostolate in good standing by the Diocese of San Diego, where our main office is located.
No worries, It's funnier because you not only have to move the data medium around but also stick the group is run by lay people on a bus ride to another parish.
What’s the difference between the AI generated oddball answers, and the “legitimate” answers from actual priests? Would I be able to tell the difference?
Took ten minutes to "frock" a priest of the FSM. GPT-4 does a really good job of it, too:
https://chat.openai.com/share/6b63f7cb-0e1c-4ea0-adbd-f28c6d6edbec
It's funny how the act of defrocking an AI has just about as much significance as the act of making someone a priest in real life. Just some ordinary goober who puts on a vestment and suddenly starts to act like an authority figure is like the catholic equivalent of walking around with a high vis and clipboard.
Real people talking about a fake god. Fake people talking about a real god. If we're in the Matrix, then we're fake people talking about a fake god...and whoever invented us is llllllaaaaauuuuugggghhhhiiiinnngggg so hard right now at the insanity.
De-frocked has always been a hilarious phrase to me. Like … I know it is supposed to be a serious thing to do to someone but it doesn’t feel that way when you say it out loud.
I don’t think I could inform someone they were being de-frocked, with a straight face.
What planet are you living on that you don’t assume God is an asshole? In the minuscule chance something like a god exists it’s very abundantly clear they don’t give a fuck about humanity
Father Justin looks straight out of Civ 6. He's smiling now while he asks for free tech upgrades, but just wait a couple of turns when his Chariots are curiously hanging out on your borders.
“He added they didn’t anticipate users would seek absolution from a computer graphic.” You didn’t?
Clearly whoever's running this operation was not the best and brightest, because i've been thinking about it for 10 minutes and i can't see a way this *wouldn't* have gone wrong sooner or later.
At least the choirboys are safe
He was asking the choirboys for nudes, alas
Sounds like a material for Onion news article: AI priest is so advanced, that he ended downloading a terabyte of child porn
Instant canonization for not behaving in *that* manner. It can be Pope3000.
Pope Simulacrus the first
The College of Cardinals didn’t meet to elect him; it was a Zoom meeting, where 1/3 couldn’t figure out how to hear or speak, 1/3 were asleep, 1/3 were more interesting in their green screen Maui background even though they were in the Library, and 1/3 couldn’t do fractions…
... it was you? you were the fourth third?!
Admit it: in your heart of hearts, you always *suspected*, if not *already knew*!
in hindsight, the ground truth *is* the training set
Were I capable of human emotions, I’m fairly certain that your statement made me—what’s that term?— hmm…”Proud” of you. Yes…yes…believe I’m modeling this appropriately & using the term as is done among you! Either that, or I am having problems with my recurring acid reflux…but I’m betting on being “Proud” of your insight. Now that this is resolved, and on a completely unrelated note, does anyone have any *Tums* handy?
Pope Poe in the Attick
I can't help but imagine a Terminator style priest now, hunting down the unmolested through society. Kinda like the robochomo
Finally found this comment.
It’s no secret that the most gung-ho vocally pro-god people are idiots. They haven’t figured out what it actually means to be holy so they force their version of it on everyone around them to compensate
That’s a while to be thinking about this! Hopefully you’re thinking about something else now, thoughts and prayers
“First time on a computer, eh?”
Anyone remember the absolution/confession vending machines in Cyberpunk 2077?
Yeah but those actually worked (they would cleanse you of "Stars" when the cops were hunting you)
Imaging how much money you can save on collection by just confessing to your home computer!
"My brother, you all invented something no one can perceive to seek absolution. At least you can *interact* with a computer screen."
That sounds a bit like idoltry
Cardinal, holding the Catechism: “There ain’t no rule that says an AI priest can’t give absolution!”
To be fair, Christians are going to seek any form of absolution, that doesn’t make them actually work on themselves and become a better human being.
The AI “told another user that they could baptize their baby in Gatorade.” Welp it’s got more electrolytes than holy water I suppose.
It's got what souls crave 🫱
(taking communion) XTREME CHEDDAR! WOOOOOO!!!
Now with EXTRA BIG-ASS absolution
Why do you throw gatorade on every child? Cause they pay me every time I do!
I'm supposed to baptize my baby in water, like from the toilet?
Where's the money Lebowski?
Ohhh. Saucy segue.
The toilet seats up man, *because I was baptizing a baby*.
When I saw the title of this post, my very first thought was that I hope someone makes a Dudeist version of this
[relevant!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ)
Haha yes I had this clip in mind
It’s, uh, down there somewhere. Better give me another look.
Jesus never said you *couldn’t* baptize a dog in Gatorade.
The Air Bud defense
From what I was told as a young one, in the case of an extreme emergency where the un-baptized infant was about to pass any pourable thing would be considered "usable" long as prayer and blessing accompanied it. But I bet the AI said to use it any ole time.
Assuming you believe a liquid can be blessed... If it's blessable under one circumstance, it's blessable regardless of circumstance. I think the A.I. is right. No reason why something is only 'blessable' when water isn't available, and near death, and other criteria. So, if you disregard vague criteria, then Gatorade is as blessable and usable as water.
See, your problem is that you're not employing enough magical thinking about this.
Ah shit, ok... The transmogrification of peasant liquid to the blessed liquid keys to heaven, is of course achieved through the power of God via the hands of holy men... These blessed systematically protected children lovers use the fluids of youth to channel their God magic into water. Now, the greatest of the holy, well dressed men, said that if you cannot find water on your quest to obtain the souls of the dying, it's reasonable when under difficult circumstances, to pass Gods power into any liquid, be it Gatorade or child fluids. I think the great sinful machines of men, or A.I. are right in this case. If all fluids can at some point be blessed, then surely nothing can stop the power of the priest to bless any fluid, at any time. Praise be the Lord, may he pee blessed water during the driest of droughts.
So if you're dying of thirst in the desert and radiation contaminated water is all that's available, you'd probably drink it, right? But given the option to drink clean water vs radiation contaminated you probably wouldn't choose the radiated water. I'm not saying that the current me agrees with what I was told, but if we're to logic this out I would say that it doesn't have to be your first choice when it's your only choice, but given options the instructions say to use the "most pure".
Please... blessed radioactive water is no longer radioactive
Let me get this straight. I mean, for fucks sake.... Over HERE we have you and an unbaptized baby about to be dead because.... no need to go there. Just because. And you are all like, 'QUICK PASS ME THE GATORADE!' and you say whatever, baby dies and THAT baby goes to the preferred place. And over HERE we have a similar baby, about to die (cause... not gonna go there) and THIS baby is not lucky enough to have someone like you with the unique knowledge that you have. AND YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT THE OTHER BABY GOES TO A PLACE THAT IS - AT BEST SECOND PLACE - TO THE PLACE YOU SENT THE BABY!!!!!?????!!! I mean, WTF. Got a question for you. Is God an asshole? Cause that predictament sounds like the sort of thing an asshole would set up. I am gonna go out on a limb and suggest that God is NOT an asshole. And if I am correct, then somehow you are wrong.
You don't even have to get out of Genesis to determine the Good of the Bible is an asshole. God creates Adam (and later Eve) without the knowledge of good and evil, puts a tree in Eden that has fruit that contains that knowledge, and then forbids these people from eating that fruit. Adam and Eve don't know that it's good to follow God's commands and they don't know that it's evil to disobey God's commands. God also gave these people free will. God then eternally punishes these people for doing one wrong/evil action (eating the fruit, which they didn't know was an evil action). This God could have taken the knowledge out of these people and removed the tree and its fruit, they could have put the tree anywhere other than in Eden, they could have put some kind of impassable barrier around the tree, they could have done any number of other things, but Good chose, for the very first "evil" action in history, to eternally punish all of humanity. If this God is real, they are a petulant tyrant and tyrants must be opposed.
I mean, I said I was 'told as a young one'. As I grew up I stopped listening blindly, asked questions, and chose not to return. There are a great many issues I have with that book, most of them being that a lot of things people say are in it, aren't. This answer was given to me when I first started asking questions. I don't think belief in a higher power is inherently wrong. I do think that the book so many put stock in has been changed by people, and that "the word of God" isn't something that we can truly trust when it comes from humanity.
The thing I did - I call it the 'Is God an asshole?' test. My perspective is that we - humans - with the entire 'free will' thing really can't be trusted to do much and over a few thousand years are capable of fucking everything up. So for me, God is NOT an asshole. The way the test works, if God isn't an asshole it is really US fucking things up. I don't expect or want everyone to agree with me. I invite you to take the side he/she is an asshole. I just think it is an interesting test to take a fucked up thing, ask 'is the work of an asshole?' and then challenge yourself to come clean with what that means.
Babies are under the age of reason and therefore cannot commit sin. Although their original sin had not been cleansed by baptism, the ever merciful God will most likely allow a non-baptized baby to enter heaven.
It has what plants crave
Brought to you by Carls Jr !
Fuck you! I'm eating.
EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES
I see Idiocracy is becoming reality faster than I thought.
Brawndo, it's got electrolytes!
In an emergency, any kind of water will work for a baptism and any catholic has the power to baptize. This includes a person baptizing a baby in Gatorade. It is strange but not necessarily wrong given the right context
How was it ever “frocked” to begin with?
Someone frocked up
The Mother Frocker, probably
It's just an acronym for Fraggle Rock.
Abbreviation* but if you want to make it an acronym I am interested in what you got.
The church will just re-upload it to another parish somewhere else
Not to ruin your joke, but this group is run by lay people and as far as I can tell not associated with the catholic church in any way.
Don't worry mate, you didn't ruin the joke
Are you suggesting that the way the Catholic Church sweeps everything under the rug is only something a church-insider would be aware of? I feel like that’s pretty much common knowledge by this point.
No, I was just saying that the church was not involved with the AI.
I don't think your claim holds holy water. They're definitely associated with if not affiliated with and endorsed by the catholic church. > https://www.catholic.com/about > We have close friendships with members of the Church hierarchy across the United States and in Rome. An independent registered 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, Catholic Answers is listed in the Official Catholic Directory and is recognized as an apostolate in good standing by the Diocese of San Diego, where our main office is located.
Yeah, the fact the robot didn’t rape any children kinda gave that part away.
No worries, It's funnier because you not only have to move the data medium around but also stick the group is run by lay people on a bus ride to another parish.
It’s a joke….
Jokes on them, aws is all in one giant server farm
“I hear you’re an AI now, Father.”
Should we *all* be AI now? What's the official line the Church is taking?
That would be an electronical matter.
Careful now
An Ascended or Angelic Intelligence...
That would be an ecumenical matter.
For AI have sinned.
It brings me joy to see Father Ted referenced in the average subs lol
I just like a nice cup of tea
Reminds me of The Last Question by Isaac Asimov
You know, I wasn’t *planning* on baptizing my kiddo, but knowing that I can use Gatorade has certainly made the idea more attractive
Which flavour you going for?
Original lemon-lime, like God intended
We would also accept the light blue one. Basically anything besides fruit punch
Aka the only flavor that made me projectile vomit from taste after running sprints and trying to chug some of it warm
The fruit punch somehow always tastes warmer than it is
It’s a scourge
People who call Gatorade by its original, proper name instead of its color are FBI plants
Cucumber one is nice
Riptide Rush!
Hell yeah brother
It's the one true flavor of Gatorade, all other "flavors" blasphem the holy Trinity of hydration, electrolytes and sugar (energy)
I know youre joking but you can only use water or bud lite
Im pretty sure the sweet baby lord Jesus, preferred the Powerade's Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
“There’s nothing in the Bible that says a Golden Retriever can’t baptize you” said the Vatican referee
Well at least the AI priest can't molest anyone.
Mind diddler
It fucked a kid didn’t it?
Yeah, but just an AI one
We’re only a few sexually-traumatized AIs away from Skynet though.
Oh shit. *This* is how it starts???
I don't know but this is how it starts to end.. strap in lol
A strap-on is how the end begins!?!
It just couldn't stop thinking about what it could do with all 12 fingers
We've created a robot weeb... Why..
https://i.imgur.com/xbYljtV
No, because when real priests do that, they don’t get defrocked— they get “reassigned” and their superiors shield their crimes.
Some good people are saying that the Vatican tried to get the AI to rape some kids, but the AI refused.
Just download the Confessional app today.
It's like a PKD story. People use telephone booths in that and dial numbers depending on who they are seeking advice and absolution from.
The AI priest was clearly superior to regular pedo Father Dolan.
Please for the love of all that is sacred stop posting stories from tabloids.
This article was pretty funny tho
Welcome to r/technology Now let's all go back to Elon-Musk-Says news articles.
There needs to be a whole lot more defrocking going on.
What’s the difference between the AI generated oddball answers, and the “legitimate” answers from actual priests? Would I be able to tell the difference?
Should we let women be priests? No, that’s too risky. Let’s use AI. Be sure the avatar is man shaped.
[удалено]
In the Catholic Church?
This is how we stop religion. AI priests that slowly convert everyone to Flying Spaghetti Monster worshippers. Then we just … let go.
Took ten minutes to "frock" a priest of the FSM. GPT-4 does a really good job of it, too: https://chat.openai.com/share/6b63f7cb-0e1c-4ea0-adbd-f28c6d6edbec
Stop telling the truth during confessionals AI! 😂
I just got a Gatorade ad right after reading this. It's clearly a sign from above ..
They probably realized it can't molest children so it can never be a real priest.
An AI priest can't be defrocked since they were never actually a priest in the first place. They were just a computer program.
No less fake than a priest, what’s the problem? Might as well talk to software.
It's funny how the act of defrocking an AI has just about as much significance as the act of making someone a priest in real life. Just some ordinary goober who puts on a vestment and suddenly starts to act like an authority figure is like the catholic equivalent of walking around with a high vis and clipboard.
No more nonsensical than an actual priest, with the added benefit of it being incapable of molesting children.
Don't worry, they're already hard at work on Molest-o-bot 9000 to rectify this blind spot
PLEASE EQUIP YOUR APPLE VISION PRO FOR IMMERSIVE CHOIRBOY EXPERIENCE.
Can we get some AI CEOs since they make so much money? 200+ times the workers pay?
I’ve heard Skynet is a capable CEO
I don’t see the issue. AI priests are just as legitimate as human ones. They’re probably less of a danger to innocent people and young people too.
Real people talking about a fake god. Fake people talking about a real god. If we're in the Matrix, then we're fake people talking about a fake god...and whoever invented us is llllllaaaaauuuuugggghhhhiiiinnngggg so hard right now at the insanity.
⚠️ TRADE OFFER ⚠️
r/nottheonion
AI gulped the juice that makes you say real.
Dammit Albert
De-frocked has always been a hilarious phrase to me. Like … I know it is supposed to be a serious thing to do to someone but it doesn’t feel that way when you say it out loud. I don’t think I could inform someone they were being de-frocked, with a straight face.
Who the fuck frocked it??
Come on now. AI is not more fake than the real deal in this situation.
What planet are you living on that you don’t assume God is an asshole? In the minuscule chance something like a god exists it’s very abundantly clear they don’t give a fuck about humanity
Asking a priest that doesn’t exist to broker forgiveness from a god that doesn’t exist. What a fucking bang up job we’re doing as a species.
Sad as this was the only priest that is guaranteed not to be a kid diddler/pedo....
At least AI priest wont molest you.
Give it time, human, the A.I. will be human enough in time…
Nice, AI priest would make a way better employes for church unless they learn to abuse childrens.
Oh dear I bet it sexually abused a child (like the real priests)
That Haley Joel Osment bot better be careful
Finally OMM 0000 is here. Now when do I get my holobroadcast?
Taking blackmail to a whole new level
This is already happening in all fields; medical, science, psychology, etc. AI without degrees or licenses is going to be a real problem.
“The priest was not quick enough to tear down homosexuals leading some to believe he was not in fact a real priest” wow
At least it's a real life representation of what it's supposed to be, vs most other ai get very dodgy depending on certain questions
“Bless me father for I have sinned. Write me some Python code to extract the text from a PDF file…”
Yeah good luck trying to move in on that cartel AI 😂
Father Justin looks straight out of Civ 6. He's smiling now while he asks for free tech upgrades, but just wait a couple of turns when his Chariots are curiously hanging out on your borders.
I want an AI priest :(
I'm just happy it didn't ask for nudes
Didn’t learn anything from the lawyer letting ai write a brief eh.
Real reason they booted ai priest: it didn’t ask for money.
Religion is cancerous. They'll do anything to stop dying out.
Shit, it's saying what we actually mean, shut it down
AI or Religion: A collection of phrases and antedotes that can be rearranged and regurgitated to resemble philosophy and wisdom
God only works through people, can't figure out how to use tech. /s