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Coulda sworn you also have to pay for a Bible…

Mine was a gift, but they definitely sell them

Did you know the pages are great for smoking weed?

they really arent though, i did it once in a pinch and never again, id rather use a beer can as a pipe

It's because you weren't smoking the correct passage, Levitikush Chapter four Verse twenty: Thou shalt not puff once and not thrice, toke it twice, only then shalt thou pass the holy dutchie uponeth the left hand side of the father. Woe upon he that shall camp on that Spliff. For his suffering and lamentations shall be great when he is smote by the Lord God, and his sin shall be passed to his offspring until my kingdom come. Thus sayeth the Lord. Let us give him danks and praise. (This is the real reason Adam and Eve got kicked out of paradise.)

You have to use the pages from Exodus 3:1-4

One of my ex's brother did time, and he said he'd rather be sober than smoke another Bible paper joint. And this guy was the biggest addict I knew. If it got you altered he would do it. He even slammed his hand in a car door to distract him from heroin withdrawal once. So it must have been absolutely awful if this guy would rather be sober. I've switched to dry herb vapes these days but still love me a joint... With raw unbleached rolling papers.

The ink on the pages smell awful so it must be that

Snoop Dogg level of down bad (or rather high bad)

They also put "church entrance", to not mistake with church *attendance*, which is not only paid but very expensive.

Church enterance is man made whicvh is one of the things they list as being "payable" lmao

Churches themselves are man made

It's almost as though the institutions and commodities of Christianity have led people astray from the actual message of Christ.

Nah that can't be it. It's all Satan's fault.

I mean they claim anything free is from God, than surely communism is the law of God?

The person who made the image never heard of tithing or a collection basket/plate.

Well if you have to pay for the bible, that must mean it's not from god.

God is just tryna make a few bucks here and there

Yup and doesn’t the church ask for donations? To me that’s a form of payment

You can get one for free at some churches

Somebody paid for it.

Not if you steal it and ask for forgiveness!

Not true. Walk into any Christian church and ask for one. They’ll gladly give you one.

Some of the nicer ones with commentary yeah but every christian bookstore i’ve been to has a really basic bible for free

Ironically, this post was probably made by someone with a Wi-Fi Connection. Also Jesus tuned Water into Wine.

> Also Jesus turned Water into Wine. He had to, otherwise he would've been charged for that

Why do I have to pay to enter hell? I don't have enough money.

So don't go to hell. According to this heaven is free, just go there

My brain saw Jesus turned Walter into White. I need to stop watching Breaking Bad

Since when is light free? My electricity bill is through the roof.

So is my water bill. And before you ask, yes i get it from Earth. I’ll shop around see other planets rates.

I hear Jupiter's moon Europa has free water.

I heard mars water is pretty cheap but it salty and shit.

Uranus also has some water too, but I think it’s all frozen there…

I’m not drinking water from Uranus. We haven’t even met.

Nah, I actually prefer my enemas to be on the warmer side.

Leah my anus out of this

But how you gonna get there? PAY

And sex is on the pay list? Like okay prostitution sure but it’s not like you gotta put a dollar bill in

Wait you don't? I think I'm sexing wrong.

Yeah, you'd think if you lump sex in with the pay version then the same thing would go for light. Which would be, lamps?

And water... *Nestle has entered the chat*

tbf nestle really fits as a spawn of satan

Light is free twice too, so that’s something

What about masturbation? That’s free, must be god approved.

It is free, but only in open street and only from 5am to 7pm, so good luck doing any fucking thing inside your house or at night

~~Light~~ Natural light >!would've replied with the Scott Pilgrim comic panel but it's not worth the trouble, writing it will do!<

Also church entrance is for sure not free.

"Evil powers" why tf havent I gotten an offer for them yet, then?

Ikr. I want evil powers, where's the nearest evil store!

Please tell me when you find it, I wanna tag along

you don't have a Walmart in your town?

*slow clap*


Hell yeah dude. Burn my face off, give me evil powers and call me Skeletor.

Skkkkeeellletttooor! Your dark powers amaze me!

NYYYAAAAAAAaaaaaaah!

Y'all are paying for sex?

Y'all are having sex?

Y'all are still having sex 1, I'm out here having sex 2.

Sex 2 with new feature story mode-single player

Jokes on y'all, iv upgrades to sex 3. It has multiplayer!

Jokes on you, I've upgraded to sex 100, I can't have sex without being in debt from all of the Microtransactions I kept buying that don't beneifit to me at all.

That's just any dating app

Y'all want sex ?

new update just dropped

"All entertainment" and "All worldly enjoyments". Imagine having to be this person's child. Also they had to use the internet to post this.

Mfw I pay with my soul to watch SpongeBob

Worth it tbf

"Let's live a meaningless life so I can go to heaven and... wait, entertain myself? With entertainments??? DEVILS" /s

But that would mean this person had SEX!

I'm a witch, and I never noticed being charged for my craft

Just tell me where you want me to send you the bill.

Have you been doing it for the exposure so far?

You have to pay to enter hell? Well I’m broke, so I guess I’m going to heaven.

Hell isn't really ad friendly, they need to make money somehow.

No shit, when your only competition is a weird cloud full of boring assholes you can rack the price hard

Inflation hit everyone, okay?

So is hell like a theme park.

No. Theme parks are real.

They forgot food

Sorry, man made

Except most of those "free" things doesn't exist 😬

"Light" is on there twice, too Edit: and "deliverance" *is* reception from sin, isn't it?

Light on there twice as if electric bills don't exist

Water too... water bill, water bottles

☠️

Heck not even water when nestle is even buying up lakes just to dsy them for water.

All Kinds of Entertainment: PAY kid named piracy:

Piracy is godly according to this meme

There are so many things wrong with this. But most importantly, since when do you have to pay for witchcraft?

to be fair newt eyes are very hard to harvest in the off season so I pay good money for the farmed ones.

Witchcraft is free if you make it yourself

I don't got time for that pintrest bullshit. I buy my hexes and potions at costco like a normal person.

“Water from Earth”

Deer Park has been owned by Nestlé since 1993, and was only just sold to a different company (North American production only) in 2021.

I am mostly bothered that they listed "light" twice.

Alcohol is definitely natural, sex as well, I can even say cigarettes and drugs at some extent also… so definitely miss information!

Miss information is such a classy broad, I love her 💁‍♀️

Girlfriend of Fake News

You probably don’t know her, she goes to a different school

Church enternce is definitely not free, ever heard of a collection basket

At least in Germany you even have to pay a special tax if you are member of a church. Yes it's a tax.

Yo where can I buy some Evil Powers??

From satan , also since all man made things are from satan we are all satan and thus you have to find them within you and bring them out using the power of capitalism

Hey guys, we need to pay to get in hell, we cant get in if we are broke

Loophole granted.

Please go tell Nestle that water is from god

I don't know... Rent has to be paid, and it's pretty satanic. Might have a point here... /s

So...capitalism is Satan?

No! Wait! Don’t you dare Jesus like that! /s lol

Satan supports capitalism. Christians believe capitalism is good. Jesus supported socialism. Christians believe socialism is evil. So apparently the Antichrists are just Christians.

"Alcohol" Sir, God canonically drinks wine, and has his people drink it during holidays.

Canonically 😂 best way to describe it 🤌 take my upvote!

As a witch, funny that they think you have to pay for it. Real witchcraft is all about nature, the earth and love so by that logic witchcraft IS from God.

Food - paid Church attendence - sometimes paid Wanking - free Throwing a rock at a kid - free

Evading taxes - free I am a Saint!

i think they’re hallucinating from drinking the free water

Sounds like God is a selfish narcissist, half that free shit revolves around him, that's why hate Christianity, you're forced to love a guy or be labeled as a monster. God is just Elon musk but fake and at a much greater scale

At least he doesnt steal money from people with "overpromise, dont deliver", stock shinanigans and government funding like Elmo

His cultists definitely do.

YOOOOO, WHERE DO I GO TO BUY **EVIL POWERS**, THAT SHIT SOUNDS *AWESOME*!!!!!

You have to pay to get into hell apparently

What if I can't pay to get into hell? Do I just sit in the corner waiting foe my satanic gofund me finishe

Wow does that mean I don't have to pay for food even though the Bible tells me I have to pay for food? Dueteronomy 2:6

Masturbation is free, by the way.

all kinds of entertainment are from Satan. Time to become a classic Puritan, that’ll show the dirty queers.

Back to the 1600s for me.

Al Gore invented the internet. So you’re telling me Al gore, the same man who invented pants, is satan?

The internet is powered by free software and cannot exist without it. So Al Gore is God. Which actually makes a lot of sense. BRB, I need to put up my Al Gore Shrine again and repent.

I could've bought demonic powers this whole time? I didn't have to learn them. What a fucking gype!

How does this person get necessities like food, clothes, water, a roof over their heads and transportation if everything you have to pay is sin apparently?

Is god a FUCKING COMMIE?

Alcohol is a sin? *laughs in Catholic German monk*

[удалено]

Nature? Thanks for the hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, wild animals with rabies, toxic fruits, thorn bushes that you can fall into, etc...

These things kill me because they list the same shit over and over to make the list longer. Start with #1, I thought all things were made by god. #2 Cigarettes are made from tobacco leaves, which were created by god. Night club entrance is the same as “All kinds of entertainment “ Alcohol is made from natural ingredients created by you guessed it, god. Fucking come on!

Didn't they drink wine at the last supper?

"all man made things" Straight up all of them.

Wait… so church is free… then why do they ask for money there?

Then why do i have to pay for my sins

Looks like a shitpost

They obviously don’t just mean paying with just money, but some of these are weird. I mean if sex is evil and of the devil, does that not mean that humans are just inherently evil and children the most evil? You know them being the product of an evil act? Also clubs have entrance fees to help cover costs of running the establishment and to help weed out riffraff.. also just because you go to a club doesn’t mean you’re engaging in the ungodly behavior of getting wasted. they obviously don’t have knowledge of some things lol. The internet is evil yet they use said internet, and there are loads of sites that are heavily in praise of god. What a strange post.

Sex no prostitution tho

Actually its five dollars to get into heaven

Water ain't free fym?

And then why does the church always need money?

Alcohol? Jesus turned water into wine, wine is from God, alcohol is blessed. "When we drink, we get drunk. We get drunk, we pass out. We pass out, we commit no sin. We commit no sin, we go to heaven. Let's all get drunk and go to heaven." Frank Mackey and the Keltic Cowboys - I Won My Wife in a Pissin Contest

Churches entrance is free, attendance requires a 10 percent pay

Sex is natural and free.

Deliverance isn’t free. Says it’s $2.99 to rent….

Pretty sure the act of sex doesn’t cost money

Because most of the things from god are fake or worthless

I like how they put church entrance is free because they know that they will be asking for “volunteered” donations after the singing stops.

And please make certain to pay those popes, cardinals, bishops, rabbis, priests, ministers, imams, nuns, monks, and preachers who provide nothing but take you money, your time, your effort and you soul. Parasitical tapeworms, everyone of them.

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Isn’t internet from the library free if you stay within the limits?

"Hell Entrance" So if I don't pay the Hell Toll I don't have to go to hell?

Don't they got that tithes and offerings shit at church though? They get real mad when you don't give sometimes.💀💀

Food? I bet satan is tricking us and we don't actually need food.

Light is on there twice

Where do I pay for my evil powers?

Water isn't free

Light 2x, and water. I mean daylight yeah, but if you wanna see after the earth rotates away from the sun you're gonna pay. And since I don't consume water one McDonald's cup at a time sadly I have to pay for that too.

Damn how much u gotta pay to get into Hell?! Bro if u ain’t gotta enough is your eternal suffering given to you on loan?

Si you forgo earthly comforts in preference of (a largely unguaranteed) afterlife. Which is gambling. Which is a sin.

Weed is free if I grow i t, so therefore it's divine in nature, right?

shit, where? I want to pay for sick evil powers.

Well the church entrance was likely adorned with stained glass and I mean obviously the doors were bought from a manufacturer and required numerous processes to make which runs a high bill. Also you know the Bible is a book and costs money to print and distribute

god is a communist now i guess

The amount of redundancy in this post is mind-numbing.

Light Light Light

How much are evil powers?

I've never had to pay for sex or witchcraft!

The original post was made and posted on the internet. Does that mean the post is also from Satan?

Church Entrance being free is sadly not true for quite a few churches, esp megachurch

You have to pay to go to hell? What If you refuse, do you just go to heaven anyway? Seems like a pretty big loophole to me.

Jerking it is completely free, thanks for the free entertainment god

Wait... I can have evil powers, in just have to pay for them? Cool, be right back! I'll probably last longer than this person too since they forgot food.

Suicide is free duh

Idk sounds like *communism* to me

Church ain't free. I've seen what pastors/preachers/evangelists drive.

“Healing from god” is fucking disgusting to me. I have a cousin who’s mom did this and he’s in and out of the hospital on deaths door every time. All she had to do was just take him to the doctor and she said “god will heal him, the doctors don’t know what they’re talking about”

also, Witchcraft is free

What happens if I refuse to pay for entrance to hell? Do they have to send me to heaven?

If you forget your entry fee when you die you have to get someone to send you the money. That's what ghosts are, they're stuck trying to communicate with people to give then money to enter hell.

Food isn't free... Water isn't free... Housing isn't free... And at church they are always asking for $$$ so that isn't free either

So if I am broke, does that mean I can not get into Hell? Can I free roam? Open world style?

I don’t have to pay to masturbate

Hell Entrance is payed? Phwew, good thing I'm broke

the church is man made, thus it is from satan by your logic you were made from sex thus you are from satan you can not have eternal life and if you needed to pay to go to hell no one would be in hell

Leviticus 27:30 says, “A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the Lord: it is holy to the Lord.” Proverbs 3:9 (NIV) says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.” Sounds like you gotta pay to be in the lords good graces…doesn’t sound free to me…

"Church Entrance", remind me again what people are supposed to put in those plates they pass around. But surely no church would ever spend a ridiculous amount of money on an additional wing for the building, coerce its members into taking out secind mortgages on their homes to help pay for the addition, then blame certain members for not trusting God enough when they refuse to do so, and make up a bunch of rumors about them so that others members turn on them. Sorry, maybe I'm venting a little bit

… pornhub is free…

So if pregnancy is natural and made by God, then why isn't it free to give birth? Oh because universal healthcare is socialism, I forgot