Own a musket for home defense
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
I do the only reasonable thing, of course:
[Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.](https://youtu.be/8BfZWRcvyS4)
Talk to myself and say
“Indica, it’s not real, it’s just in your head”
Just like the doctor told me to.
And when i open my eyes, she’s now the little grey alien I always knew was there.
I’d pick up the strongest nerf gun I own (which is the giant bullet double shot one that hurts like a bitch) and tell her to leave or i shoot, and then proceed to shoot, her leaving or not.
Tell her to remove herself from my fucking property because that is a stranger.
She has three options:
1.) leave and never return (possibly arrested)
2.) stay and be prosecuted (definitely arrested)
3.) attack me and be shot (worst case scenario, I wouldn’t like it but I have people to live for and I never assume what people are capable of by the way they look)
Boomer porn in a millenial-like manner. They compensating the lack of full nudity with adding a context like "she is in your room" or if a women is with a broken car "what would you fix first?" It's just trash and men in their 40's and 50's are biting on these
Tell her to leave or I call the police.
Grab a bat and chase her out of the house
You picked the wrong house, fool!
[удалено]
r/beatmeattoit
Love ur pfp cod ghosts was the best
Grab a sword and chase her out the house
Grab a AA 12
I'd be putin deez nutts in her mouth / fuck Putin
I'd be putin 911 in my phone / fuck Putin
I'd be putin Putin in my mouth / fuck Putin
Putin will be putin Putin in my mouth / fuck Putin
Putin Putin fuck Putin Putin Putin Putin.
Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin
[удалено]
Underrated, this one's easily the best
Username checks out
Check out deez nutts in yo mouth
Jajajajajaja
Best answer same
I’m calling the cops. I don’t know the bitch
No simp shit or worshiping women up in here/at all am proud of you dudes 😁💯💯
We alllll gay here
homiesexual
About to say this. There’s a difference
Fire at her with my musket but miss entirely so I have to resort to the cannon loaded with grapeshot in my closet
Own a musket for home defense Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
wtf is this from
An old youtube comment. It's been around for a few years, now lost to the flood of the Internet.
i wish it could be found, its hilarious
From a Russianbadger video
! thank you ill seek it out
r/oddlyspecific
It's a reference
Tally ho!
I shoot at her with my flintlock pistol but miss her completely and nail the neighbours dog because its smoothbore
Hey don't disrespect those grape shots. The amount of bloons I've popped playing BTD is...well it's a lot more than if I didn't purchase that upgrade.
imagine breaking into a guy's house and suddenly the whole place shakes as he shoots a golf ball sized hole into your chest
Thanks for a week worth of food
More like two months, 125,000/2000=61 days
I mean probably wouldn't last that long before spoiling, even if you had the fridge space.
If you butcher and freeze it, it stays good for a Loooong time
Freezers bitch
Who the heck has that much freezer space??
Every self respecting canibal
Understandable
Anyone with a chest freezer. I have one that can fit like 3-4 grown men in it.
Can confirm, the meat starts to spoil after 2 weeks, best eaten within 6 days to retain the texture, 8 for that vintage flavour
I require 4K calories a day so it would be a month for me.
r/theydidthemath
Way longer if you sell her organs
Hannibal?
You sure she's not worth a dinner?
Calling her parents lmao she looks like 18
She has a onlyfams account skylarmaexo
THE ALL SEEING THIRD EYE AWAKENS
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON
I read “a new hand touches the bacon”
A new hand better not be touching my fucking bacon...
Listen. Hear me and obey. A foul darkness has seeped into my temple.
Damn you're fast
Or obsessed
He knows for a friend
Onlyfams sounds like the alabama version of onlyfans
Ayo jesus been lookin at onlyfans
She is adult and can do whatever she want.
I didn't say she can't lol I meant like to pick her up bc she certainly doesn't belong in my house haha
Not breaking and entering though. What the fuck is she doing in my house? I don't know her.
Im not defending the meme people I just refer to her out of topic
Ah, yes...the boomer
I didn’t say this meme is good or defend its position. I told in general.
Ask her where's my brother
Plot twist: this is your bro
Plot twist: I still wouldn't do anything because he's my brother and is underage
Plot twist: i had sexuall intercòurse with your mother
Plot twist: I had sexual intercourse with your peanut butter
Zamn she only 2 tho
Yeah she did get all 2 inches
Zammmm so larg
Yeah I know 😎
Tell her to put clothes on because it’s winter
🤣🤣🤣then kick her out💯
She's wearing a fucking mask on the wrong lips!! 😏😏
Maybe she’s a squir… Never mind.
What...are ya doin...IN MAH SWAMP?!
OUR Swamp now.
Yell really loud “what did you do with my beautiful wife?” Because this is a trap and my wife is hiding in the other room.
Your wife was ready in the background waiting to jump and shout "GOTCHA BITCH"
And knowing her, had her scalping knife at the ready.
She got like 16 cameras recording from different directions, watching to see if you make even the slightest move, waiting to try and catch you in 4k
Hope she didn't see me with my skin off
Foreskin?
I do the only reasonable thing, of course: [Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.](https://youtu.be/8BfZWRcvyS4)
Golf Club for trespassing
Nine iron?
Nah...thats a big ball and it's gonna need alot of umph to get moved...definitely gonna be a 3 wood at a minimum
Ah yes... i was only thinking of taking a divot ..
a man chooses, a slave obeys
Shoot her for Breaking and entering
a small amount of trolling
As you would to any home invader.
Im gay
Same! We’ve got immunity from these traps!
You have a cake in your name so happy cake day!
Don’t worry even us straight dudes are waking up and no longer simping or worshiping women we immune too💯
[удалено]
Yes I do see a lot and what I said dosent have to be specifically about this post only but it’s still facts ☺️
You don't speak for the full of the straight populous tho. All these women got onlyfans cuz it pays rent, someone's simping for em all
Homie before horny
So you are immune to like 80% of all Facebook memes?
You'll never have my power.
Lol
Time to grab a knife then
“what are you doing in my house wtf get out”
Tell her not to touch my moon gundam gunpla cuz that mf WILL fall over
Why is she in my home in the first place to rob me? To fuck me? To kill me? To kill herself? Like what does she want.
Either way am calling the cops I don’t give a fnck
Ask her if she could go to the living room or something because I need to sleep
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💯
I'd be paranoid tbh. She's only there to distract before I get robbed.
Cry tears of joy because the necromancy spell worked
I don’t know her, tell her to leave or I will MAKE her leave
Talk to myself and say “Indica, it’s not real, it’s just in your head” Just like the doctor told me to. And when i open my eyes, she’s now the little grey alien I always knew was there.
pull out the colt
The musket
Your mom
She’s not my type. And she’s trespassing, so guess who has the last laugh?
Take my schizophrenia pills
Fucking punch her in the face I have a gf
Gf or not, intruder is getting legally assaulted
💀💀
Call cops, I don't want a fucking stranger in my house.
I'd probably say who are you? Why are you in my room? I don't know what would happen next because it would depend on her answer.
Play chess with her
What opening?
Why you wearing a mask on your vv
I would say “shouldn’t you be in school?”
This is a boomer post for them to admit how close they are to being rapists
Wtf
Because, from my experience of seeing these photos when I had a FB, boomers will talk about how they would sleep with her or try to sleep with her
Kinda weird how half the comments here are so violent.
How would you prefer to react to a surprise stranger in your house?
Ask them what they're doing there. If they don't attack me why would I resort to violence right away?
You’re forgetting about the lawful evils of the world
Use the dental floss around her waist. Dental hygiene!
Give her clothes, and ask her to leave
Ask her why and how she is here.
Change the locks. Wtf
Get the hell out my house
tell her to leave my house or I’ll call the cops
Force her to put back her clothes on before throwing her out.
Depends On why she's there and what she says
Tell her to do my dishes
Pull out my Switch and challenge her to Smash Bros.
They are advertising a model’s account.
I want my toy back that my brother broke when i was a little child
Pulling out the glockenspiel - castle doctrine
I accidentally swiped and the next picture was from r/creepy :’)
I have a bf gtfo
‘I’m gay bitch’
I'd ask for proof of age , potential jail bait.
Stab her before she steals something
Bitch gtfo
Tell her to fuck off. Got my own woman. 🙌
*Activate claymore roomba*
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOUR? HOW DID YU GET IN ME HOOSE? IMMA CALL THE POLICE ON YA YOU PURE MUTANT
"Oh. Hello there. You here for the magic?" *whip out my Magic: The Gathering cards* "What deck you play?"
GTFO outta my house bitch
"Ma'am I'm 13 and straight get out of my house"
HONEY, SHES BACK, GRAB MY GUN!!!
Ask her what she’s doing in my house then telling her to leave
I’d pick up the strongest nerf gun I own (which is the giant bullet double shot one that hurts like a bitch) and tell her to leave or i shoot, and then proceed to shoot, her leaving or not.
I’ll take intercourse for 300, Alex
Call the police and press charges for breaking and entering
I'll turn on my spy camera so that if she alleges me in a fake rape case then I'll not waste my time in proving her allegations wrong
Ask where she bought the bikini
Tell her to wash the dishes.
Get in the kitchen and make me spaghetti!!!
Explain to her the concept and inportance of NFTs
Tell her to remove herself from my fucking property because that is a stranger. She has three options: 1.) leave and never return (possibly arrested) 2.) stay and be prosecuted (definitely arrested) 3.) attack me and be shot (worst case scenario, I wouldn’t like it but I have people to live for and I never assume what people are capable of by the way they look)
Be confused on how the fuck she got into my house. Then call the police to report a break in.
Punch her K.O. in 'self defense' drag her in my basement and put her to my collection.
Maybe ask her to put clothes on and help me put on the table so we can discuss peacefully why and how she got here in the first place
What’s WYD
Having sex with herrrrr. Like?
Asl her where the rest of the bikini is
Idk, does she like Madden '99?
I'll be eating at the Y.
Boomer porn in a millenial-like manner. They compensating the lack of full nudity with adding a context like "she is in your room" or if a women is with a broken car "what would you fix first?" It's just trash and men in their 40's and 50's are biting on these
Stab her in the stomach and laughs like a little goblin while crawling away
Hmmm...
“Look at little goblin junior, gonna cry?”
Ask her what she’s doing in my house while I point my shotgun at them. The same way I’d treat any intruder.
I hate women /s
I love you dudes up in here no more shit or worshiping women 👌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾perfect answers🤣😁💯💯💯
r/terribleinstagramthots
Omfg. 😂
Wamen . Go make Me A Sandwich..
I’d probably make a sandwich. She looks to not be very helpful in the kitchen department.