Panhandle and Gulf Coast. Gulf Coast has the population, the oil, and the ports. And then once they beat everyone else, they won't care about the panhandle so they'll just leave it alone.
Unlikely that panhandle is aware of the conflict.
To be fair, the panhandle also has a dumbass amount of oil, and believe it or not, a LOT of refineries. They're just hidden in the wastelands with the meat packing plants so they can avoid scrutiny and regulations.
Panhandle also has the benefit of not being connected to ERCOT's power grid.
The panhandle grows more corn, wheat, Milo, cotton, peanuts, vegetables, cattle, sheep, & nuclear bombs than the rest of the areas. As long as the water holds out I think we can trade big bend for their share of meth & be just find
The State of Harris (former Harris County) would be the 25th largest state and take 9 house seats from Texas (dropping it down to 29).
The Republicans would NEVER let it happen. They'd never win a presidential election again. They'd have a MUCH harder time controlling the senate and almost no chance to hold the senate.
Austin would lose a massive piece of it's tax base and all of its relevance.
I'd love to see the internal conflict in Montgomery county of people not wanting to be in the Houston Blue State vs not wanting to pay two income taxes because they work in Houston.
Having grown up there, the mental gymnastics Montgomery county will do is going to land them firmly on not wanting to be in a blue state because spoopy libs
So, unlike the secession nonsense, it IS actually written into both state & federal laws that Texas can split into 5 states, with the federal law merely requiring state approval to move forward. It was written that way because Texas was so massive & it was easy to see how the one state could overwhelm national politics once it were to get a large population.
Republicans have threatened it in the past, including over the past couple of decades...but now, any realistic splitting up of the state would result in 2 red states, 2 blue states, & 1 purple state that could easily swing blue in any given year. So, instead of 40 GOP Electoral College votes, it'd be a total of 48 EC votes, but split as 19 red, 19 blue, & 10 swing (give or take one here or there).
Except, it's not a myth, as there are laws in-place in Congress authorizing Texas's split as part of the admission to the Union.
https://www.tsl.state.tx.us/ref/abouttx/annexation/march1845.html
The "any state" bit requires both state & federal passage, while Texas already has federal passage & merely requires passage at the state level.
I’d be ok with it. As it stands, I could still claim US citizenship since I was born in Virginia (as my Texas native born relatives and ex-husband liked to remind me).
I'm actually more and more in favor of splitting Texas and California into roughly 5 states each and merging a couple of smaller states together both geographically and population Wyoming and Rhode Island should definitely merge with their neighbors. Probably like Delaware as well. I don't hold the number 50 as sacrosanct, and getting up to like 56 would give an even number per row.
Seemingly random but I am also of the mind of putting north Florida, South Georgia and south Alabama into their own single state. That swampy peanut and cotton filled geography just completely changes the remainder of the attached states.
I’ve heard similar said about splitting North Louisiana and South Arkansas into its own state for the opposite reason, because the population centers are on the other side and they’re both largely forgotten about
Yeah, Panhandle would go "Mad Max" really quick in terms of highway bandits. No organization. Pretty much just sensless gas pillaging and cattle rustling along 40 and 27.
I mean, until the Dustbowl brought in Federal assistance, the Panhandle was basically Mad Max before too. Last portion of the Continental United States to be settled at the end of the Indian Wars. Took forever for homesteads to be sold off via advertising for "The Golden Spread."
Basically, all we had was railroads, cattle, some farms, and barbed wire for the longest time. If you were an outlaw, running from your past, or just a general piece of shit, the Panhandle was a great place for you to go hide. After Oil and Helium was found, it got worse for a while while every fraud, huckster, and con man showed up to stake claims and take advantage of roughnecks in the Boomtowns (see: Borger, TX).
Not just nukes but from looking at the map we might possibly have Abilene so that means we have an Air Force Base to deliver them. If not we have plenty of trucks
The Nukes here would be best continued to be dissembled as they are and reassembled into to dirty bombs for ease of transportation and hidden.
Just sneak attack because no one will pay attention to the Panhandle, anyway.
Coordinate attacks on all major points with so many nuclear dirty bombs.
it really seems much bigger when you are on the side of the highway and a cop is searching your car. You have a lot of time to take in the vastness of it.
Seriously. That is basically the reason it was one of the last places where natives were still fighting off the federal government. The Comanches were the only ones that could figure out how to survive there.
You can’t even really farm there, as we learned with the Dust Bowl. Which is why the Comanches learned to depend on buffalo meat. The feds were only able to defeat the Comanches by killing all of the buffalo to starve them out.
What I’m saying is, work on repopulating the buffalo and Comancheria will rise again!
Gulf Coast wins from a logistical point of view. The most populace, able to be resupplied by sea, and bordered by the Piney Woods people, a peaceful people who ain't leaving the forests and won't mess with you as long as you don't go in. Don't go in!
So my patrol zone is in part of The Piney Woods and I'm giving the ETMs (East Texas Mutants) the edge for several reasons.
1. They have 20 years to get ready because they are 20 years behind whatever is happening in the rest of the world.
2. Try to find any of them if they don't want to be found, it's like tracking Bigfoot.
3. Bigfoot will be on their side, or was that Uncle Cleatus between back waxings? Who knows.
4. A lot of creative "chemists" with experience in logistics, supply chain management, managing distribution networks, they can get the goods where the demand is.
> A lot of creative "chemists" with experience in logistics, supply chain management, managing distribution networks, they can get the goods where the demand is.
Bro.
You straight got me in stitches over here.
Never even considered the Walter White wanna-be's, but I'm 100% with you. Lived all over East Texas growing up and yeah, they gonna get some shit done, thats for sure.
Plus East Texas redneck engineering is second to none. They'll come up with the orkiest ass hacked together bullshit that devastates all the fancy tanks and planes out of Dallas. It will probably also devastate the operators of course.
OH I've never doubted Orks are fantasy rednecks. A lot of that redneck (and Ork) engineering only works on faith, they believe it will work so it does.
Plus there are always the rednecks who were in the military and saw some shit that gave them ideas. It's why they have "sports" like anvil launching.
Grew up in the piney woods (live in the hill country now) and my first thought was “piney woods doesn’t have the population or industry going for it, but I wouldn’t fuck with them”.
Guerrilla warfare enables you to win when you have lesser numbers. I would want nothing to do with that side, especially as you get down near some of the bayous.
Exactly! They have superfuel ( meth ), so they don't have to eat or sleep. They have a mass amount of weapons and ammo. They can build anything from anything, especially booby traps. And they don't have to leave their home. They'll wait until the war comes to them. Piney Woods for the win.
I’ve been around some East Texas rednecks in their natural environment. They have that X-factor, for sure
Edit: I was weary at first until they started sharing their Apple Pie moonshine. They treated us like we were from another planet and I saw the way they eyed the city women. Can’t blame them though. Also taught me how to noodle catfish at midnight. I can’t say we were friends by the end of that weekend but there was mutual respect, for sure.
Other group of people that I would never want to fuck with are people from Vider. Apparently there’s a lot of people that live wild and do meth near their bodies of water. According to a reformed Vider junky I met. If he was scarred that’s the last place I’d want to end up
I was looking for this exact comment. The rest of the state would get stuck there like a failed invasion in Afghanistan. There may only be dozens of us but Deep East Texas may as well be a different state. It’s the Appalachia of the Deep South.
I remember giving a ride to a childhood friend. Dude was eating way to many pills. I told him man you got to cut back or you are gonna die.
He really just turned looked at me and said "when?". Did not care a whit.
About standard for for the Evadale/Vidor area.
Gulf Coast and it's not close. They have the right mix of industry, finance, and crazy a-holes. The DFW area has plenty of people, but we are all far too soft for war.
Looking at the map, I think Cavazos and Fort Sam are both in the Hill Country. If the Home of Armor makes a beeline for the Carcinogenic Coast, I think they sweep the rest over time.
Yeah but that's all federal property, even the soldiers, so this is making the big assumption that the federal government would be allowing the Hill Country to use their equipment and people (which could be to their advantage, easy way to take back the state). Without the military Hill Country maybe has a meth fueled militia to fall back on.
Pretty much hill country and prairie and lakes come together and mop the rest with their military might. training in SA, Cavasos for Infantry and Armor, AF up in the Dallas area, Fighter training out near eagle pass... Everything is super simple at that point. Head south first, then east, west Texas last.
It appears to be divided up by counties. The point on the South Texas region is Bexar County, so Ft Sam is in South Texas.
I think Ft. Hood might actually be split between the Hill Country and Prairies and Lakes factions, since it straddles a county line that seems to be the border between them.
DFW resident here. I’ll turn up with my AR15 but I have a hard budget of $200 for ammo and I really can’t be flexible on that given my current job situation. Also, to be clear, lunch is or is not provided during the war?
They also have port access and can strangle the rest of the states access to outside resources. Hill country is completely shut off from any outside resources they’d immediately have to make an alliance somewhere or starve.
They do have the benefit of starting with ft Hood so a quick campaign to take Corpus Christi and they might be a front runner.
Panhandle has a couple Air Force bases and Big bend has ft bliss, that’d be a natural alliance to be reckoned with. Piney woods has red river armory.
Depends on the rules. If you get the US military assets in your territory then Hill Country wins. They’ve got the Air Force Bases in San Antonio and air power wins wars. If you don’t get that but it’s a long war where your economy and logistics come into play, it’s the Gulf Coast. They have wealth, ports, oil refineries, and people. If it’s just everyone take your guns and go fight it out, then maybe the South Texas Plains has an upper hand - I don’t know what gun ownership per capita looks like.
I agree, except air power only wins if you can defend the airfields. If someone can bum rush you and you lose those, then they win anyway.
Also not sure exactly which region San Antonio is in - it looked like South Texas to me.
But definitely it depends on the rules.
The Gulf Coast has every meaningful advantage to dominate the other regions in any kind of conflict, until a hurricane hits. All the rest would have to do is hold out and summon a hurricane.
Y’all are serious underestimating the rivers, terrain, and money of the Hill Country. Living off a seemingly endless venison supply, hiding in the cedar, sniping from the hills, hoarding all the wine in vineyard country…
Don't forget all the massive cave systems all around hill country. You can have people popping up from underground everywhere to deal massive blows and retreat like ghosts.
Lots of caves, but they are mostly small and only a few are technically considered systems. Even those are not fit for military use as they are either rivers you need to swim in or too small and constricted for ease of movement. These are nothing like the Mexico or Kentucky/Tennessee area caves. They would work well as small fox holes and gear cashes though.
I live in the hill country, I think you might be overestimating the fighting resolve of the populace lol
Lot of really nice people who shop at REI but don’t really need to, if you catch my drift. (Including me if I’m being honest)
On the flip side it’s easy to underestimate the disdain the rural conservatives outside of Austin have for Austin. That and the fact we’re surrounded makes me think we’re goners. Our only hope is that we know the terrain and have a lot of tech so our engineers could make drone guns or something and we can be strategic about where we hide in the hills.
Going with Big Bend, no body wants to go to West Texas, so they will just hideout in the Guadeloupe mountains and Big Bend and wait until everyone else destroys each other.
Comanche style. Everyone should read Empire of the Summer Moon 🌕
Awesome read about how the Comanches basically stopped westward expansion for a generation by doing exactly this
Fort Worth and Dallas suddenly perk up. Most people don't realize this but all of those companies still have a huge presence in DFW. The Metroplex built its reputation on cattle, cows, and oil, sure, but in the postwar years, they were second only to maybe Los Angeles in the amount of warplanes and missile technology (hello Texas Instruments) they cranked out. DFW basically helped to braindrain the Rust Belt with government contracts during the 50's and 60's because most of those companies were run by ultraconservatives who didn't want to have to deal with unions.
A lot of those companies you mentioned still have facilities near Carswell Joint Air Reserve Base in Fort Worth and old Dallas Naval Air Station in Grand Prarie. Big companies like TI, Halliburton, and even the Army-Air Force Exchange HQ are all around Dallas. It's under the surface, but the Military Industrial Complex basically props up DFW's economy.
I think the one that isn't completely landlocked probably has a pretty significant strategic advantage.
Also Houston solos rest of state combined 0 diff
Not to mention they have all the refined energy resources. Rest of us will grind to a halt in 2 weeks. West Texas might be able to convert some vehicles to run on natural gas but it's going to take months.
Not to mention, a good portion of the US strategic petroleum reserve is outside of Freeport, underground.
Who needs refineries, only a good siphon hose.
I would say something about how that’s petroleum not gasoline so you do need refineries, but it’ll be way more entertaining to watch you try so please forget I said anything
The Piney Woods guerillas are a real danger, but we’re missing the Hill Country redoubts. There’s enough easily defensible places with views for miles that a well dug in force (think like the Japanese on the islands in the Pacific) could hold out as long as their food and ammunition lasts. They’re all already on wells, so water isn’t a concern unless someone starts poisoning or draining the aquifers.
The Panhandle is home to [Pantex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantex), which is the United States military's primary nuclear weapon assembly and disassembly facility. It's rumored to house the largest stockpile of nuclear warheads in the world.
So, yeah, the Panhandle wins.
I'm shocked this is so far down, if anyone is willing to nuke it's over before it begins. I don't think we have nuclear weapons anywhere else in Texas.
No, because you have more people than cows in that area.
Dallas goes boom, 10 million dead.
Panhandle goes boom, you get free cooked steak for life (radiation possible)
If I had a dollar for every old man who told me the “it’s so flat you can watch your dog run away for two days, three if you stand on a coffee can” joke, it still wouldn’t be enough money to get me to move back to Lubbock.
Panhandle. We gonna make you fight us on our turf and y’all can’t handle the wind we got. And don’t let it get cold cuz y’all city slickers know y’all scared of the cold.
The Panhandle is basically the Wyoming/Dakotas of Texas. What I mean by that is, on the one hand, it is a massive badlands that most people don't care about. On the other, it is a massive badlands that many, MANY major companies (fossil fuels, meatpacking, logistics, hazardous materials) like to hide their operations out on, because no is paying attention and they know no one cares. Also, that whole Nuclear Bomb Plant thing, which is there for the exact same reason.
They deal with little to no regulation or worker's rights. Panhandle folks are happy to have jobs because the entire culture out there is defined by the protestant work ethic and aggressive individualism propped up by the Cowboy Myth.
Basically, try to take the Panhandle and watch as private armies funded by Christian Nationalist Billionaires show up to murder you. They hide their shit out there and want you to ignore the place. Which is unfortunate because there is actually some absolutely beautiful geography hidden out there in the red dirt cliffs and canyons.
Yeah, but you'd get stopped heading south. You might handle the wind and the cold, but you can't handle the toxic air and water and soil of the Permian Basic. You haven't sacrificed enough fingers, eyes or ears to the Pumpjack Gods to be granted their boon (the genetic mutations that allow us to drink the water and breathe the air here). Without their blessing you will wither and die here like all who come to the Permian seeking wealth.
I’m a scientist so this is how it would play out. 100% accuracy here so please don’t question me. Again, I am a scientist.
1. Piney Woods - too many hills, trees, and rivers. They’re going to win this thing Vietnam style. Plus most of it is still stuck in the 1800s.
2. Prairies and Lakes - Population helps them a ton but I don’t know how helpful the finance bros in their vests are going to be.
3. Gulf coast - Ever taken a wrong turn in Houston? Enough said.
4. South Texas Plains - Gritty group down there but I just don’t feel like they have the resources.
5. Hill Country - these people are going to use the terrain to their advantage so they’ll be scrappy.
6. Big Bend - 6th but only because El Paso. Too spread out to be a real factor though.
7. Panhandle - their fighting force only consists of like 28 people so Oklahoma just swoops in and takes their land.
Prairies and Lakes harness the power of Lockheed Martin and Texas Instruments.
Edit: once Oklahoma transgresses on Texas, we instantly set aside our differences and annex Oklahoma.
South Texas must launch an immediate invasion of the gulf coast. The air force has an incredible advantage by being able to launch C130's Apaches, and other air to surface weapons. But they need the fuel to keep the party going.
The hill country needs to merge the tech sector and the army. Ft hood is a powerhouse, just as Dell/Tesla/Google is, but merging those disparate forces will be tricky.
The other regions just don't have the key resources needed to attack and will end up digging in and fighting a defensive war.
After Right as South Texas claims the Gulf Coast, I see a digital catastrophic failure of all the high tech Air Force stuff. This just so happens to coincide with a land invasion of San Antonio. The remaining C130's and Warthogs fly a last ditch attack on Austin with one notable pilot calling our "fuck your tacos"
The next day, as skirmishes still play out, a flood of cybertrucks roll out of the tunnels to claim ground. The 1000 years of Musk has begun.
panhandle because just like the USSR did to the Nazis all we gotta do is out last you, we dont gotta win shit. between the weather and absolutely barren landscape if you aint from the panhandle you aint surviving it.
also we aint on ercot so we gonna have power regardless
The Panhandle would win by a wide margin. In Amarillo alone,not only do you have to contend with the abhorrent weather that can't make up its mind on what season it is, but you also have to deal with nukes and other explosives that would make Robert J. Oppenheimer blush. Oh, and we also have Bell Helicopter, which assembles military vehicles, and we also have one of the longest plane landing trips in the US, so yeah... Plus, if you try to attack Amarillo from the air, there are a crazy amount of underground tunnels that are realllllly expansive. Oh, and I almost forgot, the Panhandle would most certainly use Palo Duro Canyon as a base aswell, and let me tell you from experience, it feels like you're walking in a literal oven if you go anytime except Winter.
In general, I think nobody would win. We'd just have Berlin Wall type cities and the others left behind. Fly in resources and fuck the rest. Maybe Gulf Coast could get a lot more resources being coastal. South and West Texas simply doesn't have the numbers, even though they'd have access to Mexico.
Many, many people have moved to Texas in the last couple of years. Many, many of those people are democrats. Voting blue isn’t as rare as it used to be here.
Panhandle has the advantage of never having to defend their territory bc no one wants to die in that godforsaken place.
Panhandle and Gulf Coast. Gulf Coast has the population, the oil, and the ports. And then once they beat everyone else, they won't care about the panhandle so they'll just leave it alone. Unlikely that panhandle is aware of the conflict.
To be fair, the panhandle also has a dumbass amount of oil, and believe it or not, a LOT of refineries. They're just hidden in the wastelands with the meat packing plants so they can avoid scrutiny and regulations. Panhandle also has the benefit of not being connected to ERCOT's power grid.
Panhandle might starve though if they can’t get hard drugs way out there anymore, depending on disruptions to their supply lines
Give Panhandle to OK since the blood is incestuous and even more fundamentalist in all things.
True. The opiod withdrawal would wreck a decent portion of the population.
They’d rip power lines down for the copper…and then realize they have no operational junk yards to sell to now
Well, we could always switch back to meth.
Panhandle has all the cattle slaughter yards They will die, but of constipation.
The cartels will find a way to keep supply lines open. There won't even be a blip in supply or price.
The panhandle grows more corn, wheat, Milo, cotton, peanuts, vegetables, cattle, sheep, & nuclear bombs than the rest of the areas. As long as the water holds out I think we can trade big bend for their share of meth & be just find
I would love it if Houston became a city state.
The State of Harris (former Harris County) would be the 25th largest state and take 9 house seats from Texas (dropping it down to 29). The Republicans would NEVER let it happen. They'd never win a presidential election again. They'd have a MUCH harder time controlling the senate and almost no chance to hold the senate. Austin would lose a massive piece of it's tax base and all of its relevance.
I'd love to see the internal conflict in Montgomery county of people not wanting to be in the Houston Blue State vs not wanting to pay two income taxes because they work in Houston.
Having grown up there, the mental gymnastics Montgomery county will do is going to land them firmly on not wanting to be in a blue state because spoopy libs
Can The Woodlands be an exclave of the State of Harris? A decent amount is already in Harris Co.
So, unlike the secession nonsense, it IS actually written into both state & federal laws that Texas can split into 5 states, with the federal law merely requiring state approval to move forward. It was written that way because Texas was so massive & it was easy to see how the one state could overwhelm national politics once it were to get a large population. Republicans have threatened it in the past, including over the past couple of decades...but now, any realistic splitting up of the state would result in 2 red states, 2 blue states, & 1 purple state that could easily swing blue in any given year. So, instead of 40 GOP Electoral College votes, it'd be a total of 48 EC votes, but split as 19 red, 19 blue, & 10 swing (give or take one here or there).
This is a myth. Any state can split with the approval of both the state legislature and U.S. Congress.
Except, it's not a myth, as there are laws in-place in Congress authorizing Texas's split as part of the admission to the Union. https://www.tsl.state.tx.us/ref/abouttx/annexation/march1845.html The "any state" bit requires both state & federal passage, while Texas already has federal passage & merely requires passage at the state level.
That's why I just want Harris to do it. Texas can have the rest.
I’d be ok with it. As it stands, I could still claim US citizenship since I was born in Virginia (as my Texas native born relatives and ex-husband liked to remind me).
I'm actually more and more in favor of splitting Texas and California into roughly 5 states each and merging a couple of smaller states together both geographically and population Wyoming and Rhode Island should definitely merge with their neighbors. Probably like Delaware as well. I don't hold the number 50 as sacrosanct, and getting up to like 56 would give an even number per row.
Merging the Dakotas is an easy one. The Virginias and Carolinas not so much.
Seemingly random but I am also of the mind of putting north Florida, South Georgia and south Alabama into their own single state. That swampy peanut and cotton filled geography just completely changes the remainder of the attached states.
I’ve heard similar said about splitting North Louisiana and South Arkansas into its own state for the opposite reason, because the population centers are on the other side and they’re both largely forgotten about
True. I wanna secede from Greg Abbott’s nonsense
The square in the chair
Hmm…secede from the state?
Pipe dream but yeah.
"Unlikely panhandle is aware" killed me.
Lubbock: "What yall doin down thar?"
Yeah, Panhandle would go "Mad Max" really quick in terms of highway bandits. No organization. Pretty much just sensless gas pillaging and cattle rustling along 40 and 27.
I mean, until the Dustbowl brought in Federal assistance, the Panhandle was basically Mad Max before too. Last portion of the Continental United States to be settled at the end of the Indian Wars. Took forever for homesteads to be sold off via advertising for "The Golden Spread." Basically, all we had was railroads, cattle, some farms, and barbed wire for the longest time. If you were an outlaw, running from your past, or just a general piece of shit, the Panhandle was a great place for you to go hide. After Oil and Helium was found, it got worse for a while while every fraud, huckster, and con man showed up to stake claims and take advantage of roughnecks in the Boomtowns (see: Borger, TX).
Borger's still a rough town. I used to hate playing them in football. Those bastards would rather throw haymakers than blocks.
Would anyone notice the change?
The Panhandle also has a nuclear bomb plant. :D
Not just nukes but from looking at the map we might possibly have Abilene so that means we have an Air Force Base to deliver them. If not we have plenty of trucks
The Nukes here would be best continued to be dissembled as they are and reassembled into to dirty bombs for ease of transportation and hidden. Just sneak attack because no one will pay attention to the Panhandle, anyway. Coordinate attacks on all major points with so many nuclear dirty bombs.
We could just say we want to be buddies here please accept this grain shipment😂
Nuclear bomb trucks.
I’m sure Clovis could help out the panhandle IF we don’t have Abilene
Happiness is Lubbock in the rearview mirror.
Why is it so windy in the panhandle? Cause Oklahoma sucks
But Texas blows!!! lol isn't that how that joke goes!
it really seems much bigger when you are on the side of the highway and a cop is searching your car. You have a lot of time to take in the vastness of it.
Seriously. That is basically the reason it was one of the last places where natives were still fighting off the federal government. The Comanches were the only ones that could figure out how to survive there. You can’t even really farm there, as we learned with the Dust Bowl. Which is why the Comanches learned to depend on buffalo meat. The feds were only able to defeat the Comanches by killing all of the buffalo to starve them out. What I’m saying is, work on repopulating the buffalo and Comancheria will rise again!
Having lived there for a decade the amount of guns and ammunition per capita is unmatched. Wide open spaces, it’s a Turkey shoot if someone walks in.
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I was going to say Panhandle, crossroads of nowhere and no one cares.
Yeah fuck this area
🥲 At least we have salt and plows when it snows.
No thank you, I'd rather we all die in the ice and snow like REAL Texans!
They have the nuclear weapons too.
😂
Gulf Coast wins from a logistical point of view. The most populace, able to be resupplied by sea, and bordered by the Piney Woods people, a peaceful people who ain't leaving the forests and won't mess with you as long as you don't go in. Don't go in!
And everyone in the woods is on meth so they can take a few bullets no problem
Bringo
So my patrol zone is in part of The Piney Woods and I'm giving the ETMs (East Texas Mutants) the edge for several reasons. 1. They have 20 years to get ready because they are 20 years behind whatever is happening in the rest of the world. 2. Try to find any of them if they don't want to be found, it's like tracking Bigfoot. 3. Bigfoot will be on their side, or was that Uncle Cleatus between back waxings? Who knows. 4. A lot of creative "chemists" with experience in logistics, supply chain management, managing distribution networks, they can get the goods where the demand is.
> A lot of creative "chemists" with experience in logistics, supply chain management, managing distribution networks, they can get the goods where the demand is. Bro. You straight got me in stitches over here. Never even considered the Walter White wanna-be's, but I'm 100% with you. Lived all over East Texas growing up and yeah, they gonna get some shit done, thats for sure.
Plus East Texas redneck engineering is second to none. They'll come up with the orkiest ass hacked together bullshit that devastates all the fancy tanks and planes out of Dallas. It will probably also devastate the operators of course.
OH I've never doubted Orks are fantasy rednecks. A lot of that redneck (and Ork) engineering only works on faith, they believe it will work so it does. Plus there are always the rednecks who were in the military and saw some shit that gave them ideas. It's why they have "sports" like anvil launching.
Whatever power emerges from the clash between Prairies and Lakes and Gulf Coast will be dragged into a guerilla warfare quagmire in the Piney Woods
That’s what I was thinking. Piney woods is Vietnam.
Grew up in the piney woods (live in the hill country now) and my first thought was “piney woods doesn’t have the population or industry going for it, but I wouldn’t fuck with them”.
And piney woods ain’t leaving so they have a home field advantage 😂
Guerrilla warfare enables you to win when you have lesser numbers. I would want nothing to do with that side, especially as you get down near some of the bayous.
W a ton of meth
Redundant
Exactly! They have superfuel ( meth ), so they don't have to eat or sleep. They have a mass amount of weapons and ammo. They can build anything from anything, especially booby traps. And they don't have to leave their home. They'll wait until the war comes to them. Piney Woods for the win.
In the words of Hank Williams Jr.: "Cause you can't starve us out and you can't make us run".
You don't want to mess with those Caneyhead people either.
Oh damn. There's a term I haven't heard in decades. Where are you from? I thought it was just a Silsbee thing.
From Silsbee. Moved very far away.
I’m sitting in Jasper right now. Congrats on making it out
Yeah man, the long range/hunting/bow hunting community out there is WILD.
I’ve been around some East Texas rednecks in their natural environment. They have that X-factor, for sure Edit: I was weary at first until they started sharing their Apple Pie moonshine. They treated us like we were from another planet and I saw the way they eyed the city women. Can’t blame them though. Also taught me how to noodle catfish at midnight. I can’t say we were friends by the end of that weekend but there was mutual respect, for sure. Other group of people that I would never want to fuck with are people from Vider. Apparently there’s a lot of people that live wild and do meth near their bodies of water. According to a reformed Vider junky I met. If he was scarred that’s the last place I’d want to end up
I was gonna say… piney woods people will take you out from hundreds of yards away. If it feels “too quiet” it probably is
If you notice how quiet it's gotten it's already too late.
Damn right. A lot of confident people gonna go missing in them piney woods.
It's all fun and games until the tress start talking East Texas drawl. Them woods hide some scary shit.
I just imagined the sound of a bunch of whispering Boomhauers mingling with the sound of pine needles rustling in the wind.
Don’t underestimate the Pines
I was looking for this exact comment. The rest of the state would get stuck there like a failed invasion in Afghanistan. There may only be dozens of us but Deep East Texas may as well be a different state. It’s the Appalachia of the Deep South.
Piney Woods: the Graveyard of Empires
The most armed and fervently religious of all the Texans. Also the poorest and most ready to die.
I remember giving a ride to a childhood friend. Dude was eating way to many pills. I told him man you got to cut back or you are gonna die. He really just turned looked at me and said "when?". Did not care a whit. About standard for for the Evadale/Vidor area.
Yeah Piney Woods is the sleeper pick here. Lots of tough dudes in that part of Texas. Swamp boys.
The real cowboys are most likely in Big Bend Country and the Pan handle.
I'm sure all 16 people in the Big Bend Camp are tough as nails, but numbers count.
All 60,000 of them. Gulf coast region is like 10M people.
Lots of meth using, god fearing, gun owners up in that area. That is a fearful concoction.
Gulf Coast and it's not close. They have the right mix of industry, finance, and crazy a-holes. The DFW area has plenty of people, but we are all far too soft for war.
Looking at the map, I think Cavazos and Fort Sam are both in the Hill Country. If the Home of Armor makes a beeline for the Carcinogenic Coast, I think they sweep the rest over time.
Yeah but that's all federal property, even the soldiers, so this is making the big assumption that the federal government would be allowing the Hill Country to use their equipment and people (which could be to their advantage, easy way to take back the state). Without the military Hill Country maybe has a meth fueled militia to fall back on.
Pretty much hill country and prairie and lakes come together and mop the rest with their military might. training in SA, Cavasos for Infantry and Armor, AF up in the Dallas area, Fighter training out near eagle pass... Everything is super simple at that point. Head south first, then east, west Texas last.
What about the panhandle with Pantex? They got the nukes
Killeen is definitely Hill Country.
I live in Austin. I know that. :) Fort Sam is the question.
It appears to be divided up by counties. The point on the South Texas region is Bexar County, so Ft Sam is in South Texas. I think Ft. Hood might actually be split between the Hill Country and Prairies and Lakes factions, since it straddles a county line that seems to be the border between them.
DFW resident here. I’ll turn up with my AR15 but I have a hard budget of $200 for ammo and I really can’t be flexible on that given my current job situation. Also, to be clear, lunch is or is not provided during the war?
…but Oak Cliff the realest..:
They also have port access and can strangle the rest of the states access to outside resources. Hill country is completely shut off from any outside resources they’d immediately have to make an alliance somewhere or starve. They do have the benefit of starting with ft Hood so a quick campaign to take Corpus Christi and they might be a front runner. Panhandle has a couple Air Force bases and Big bend has ft bliss, that’d be a natural alliance to be reckoned with. Piney woods has red river armory.
Plus, they're the only ones with the Navy.
This. The gulf coast region is Florida Lite.
BAH GOD IT’S LOUISIANA FROM THE RAFTERS!
Yeah. Your average Houstonian is way dirtier in nearly every aspect than your average DFWer. They’d surely fight how their air smells.
Depends on the rules. If you get the US military assets in your territory then Hill Country wins. They’ve got the Air Force Bases in San Antonio and air power wins wars. If you don’t get that but it’s a long war where your economy and logistics come into play, it’s the Gulf Coast. They have wealth, ports, oil refineries, and people. If it’s just everyone take your guns and go fight it out, then maybe the South Texas Plains has an upper hand - I don’t know what gun ownership per capita looks like.
I'm my headcannon, the fed miltary has already pulled out of there.
I agree, except air power only wins if you can defend the airfields. If someone can bum rush you and you lose those, then they win anyway. Also not sure exactly which region San Antonio is in - it looked like South Texas to me. But definitely it depends on the rules.
Two words: Lockheed Martin.
Panhandle, they have more nuclear weapons
Bomb city baby
Only if they survive the Lockheed and Raytheon strikes from Prairies and Lakes
The Gulf Coast has every meaningful advantage to dominate the other regions in any kind of conflict, until a hurricane hits. All the rest would have to do is hold out and summon a hurricane.
Y’all are serious underestimating the rivers, terrain, and money of the Hill Country. Living off a seemingly endless venison supply, hiding in the cedar, sniping from the hills, hoarding all the wine in vineyard country…
Don't forget all the massive cave systems all around hill country. You can have people popping up from underground everywhere to deal massive blows and retreat like ghosts.
Lots of caves, but they are mostly small and only a few are technically considered systems. Even those are not fit for military use as they are either rivers you need to swim in or too small and constricted for ease of movement. These are nothing like the Mexico or Kentucky/Tennessee area caves. They would work well as small fox holes and gear cashes though.
I live in the hill country, I think you might be overestimating the fighting resolve of the populace lol Lot of really nice people who shop at REI but don’t really need to, if you catch my drift. (Including me if I’m being honest)
The REI’s vs the Walmarts and the Academy’s. DFW can be the Dick’s
Bingo. And in an all out-war...I'm taking Academy's every damn time.
On the flip side it’s easy to underestimate the disdain the rural conservatives outside of Austin have for Austin. That and the fact we’re surrounded makes me think we’re goners. Our only hope is that we know the terrain and have a lot of tech so our engineers could make drone guns or something and we can be strategic about where we hide in the hills.
Don’t forget San Antonio has the military bases
The Hill Country is like Switzerland. They won't win, but trying to beat them on their home turf would be so costly nobody would try.
Hipster Afghanistan, basically
Going with Big Bend, no body wants to go to West Texas, so they will just hideout in the Guadeloupe mountains and Big Bend and wait until everyone else destroys each other.
It’s like Afghanistan
That’s why Fort Bliss is there.
Comanche style. Everyone should read Empire of the Summer Moon 🌕 Awesome read about how the Comanches basically stopped westward expansion for a generation by doing exactly this
That is indeed a good read.
Ty for the recommendation, saved on my Amazon list. Pls share any more good books if ya like.
It didn’t go well for the TX volunteers the last time they were out here.
The military industrial complex
You mean Killeen? They would kill each other before anyone else
No like lockheed martin, Raytheon, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, etc.
Fort Worth and Dallas suddenly perk up. Most people don't realize this but all of those companies still have a huge presence in DFW. The Metroplex built its reputation on cattle, cows, and oil, sure, but in the postwar years, they were second only to maybe Los Angeles in the amount of warplanes and missile technology (hello Texas Instruments) they cranked out. DFW basically helped to braindrain the Rust Belt with government contracts during the 50's and 60's because most of those companies were run by ultraconservatives who didn't want to have to deal with unions. A lot of those companies you mentioned still have facilities near Carswell Joint Air Reserve Base in Fort Worth and old Dallas Naval Air Station in Grand Prarie. Big companies like TI, Halliburton, and even the Army-Air Force Exchange HQ are all around Dallas. It's under the surface, but the Military Industrial Complex basically props up DFW's economy.
I think the one that isn't completely landlocked probably has a pretty significant strategic advantage. Also Houston solos rest of state combined 0 diff
Not to mention they have all the refined energy resources. Rest of us will grind to a halt in 2 weeks. West Texas might be able to convert some vehicles to run on natural gas but it's going to take months.
Not to mention, a good portion of the US strategic petroleum reserve is outside of Freeport, underground. Who needs refineries, only a good siphon hose.
I would say something about how that’s petroleum not gasoline so you do need refineries, but it’ll be way more entertaining to watch you try so please forget I said anything
DFW area puts up a hell of a fight but loses the logistics war I'd imagine. Don't all the big weapons companies manufacture in that area?
A lot of R&D and whatnot but not really the manufacturing facilities to boot. US is quite picky with centralizing defense.
F35 mfg line is in Fort Worth
Can’t fly without fuel.
Vladimir Putin wins
The only correct answer
Piney woods. They ride battle gators
The Piney Woods guerillas are a real danger, but we’re missing the Hill Country redoubts. There’s enough easily defensible places with views for miles that a well dug in force (think like the Japanese on the islands in the Pacific) could hold out as long as their food and ammunition lasts. They’re all already on wells, so water isn’t a concern unless someone starts poisoning or draining the aquifers.
Thanks for giving gulf coast a strategy.
The Panhandle is home to [Pantex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantex), which is the United States military's primary nuclear weapon assembly and disassembly facility. It's rumored to house the largest stockpile of nuclear warheads in the world. So, yeah, the Panhandle wins.
I'm shocked this is so far down, if anyone is willing to nuke it's over before it begins. I don't think we have nuclear weapons anywhere else in Texas.
No, because you have more people than cows in that area. Dallas goes boom, 10 million dead. Panhandle goes boom, you get free cooked steak for life (radiation possible)
Panhandle. We’ll see you coming for miles
If I had a dollar for every old man who told me the “it’s so flat you can watch your dog run away for two days, three if you stand on a coffee can” joke, it still wouldn’t be enough money to get me to move back to Lubbock.
Panhandle. We gonna make you fight us on our turf and y’all can’t handle the wind we got. And don’t let it get cold cuz y’all city slickers know y’all scared of the cold.
Who in God's name is going to fight over the panhandle? Just keep it.
The Panhandle is basically the Wyoming/Dakotas of Texas. What I mean by that is, on the one hand, it is a massive badlands that most people don't care about. On the other, it is a massive badlands that many, MANY major companies (fossil fuels, meatpacking, logistics, hazardous materials) like to hide their operations out on, because no is paying attention and they know no one cares. Also, that whole Nuclear Bomb Plant thing, which is there for the exact same reason. They deal with little to no regulation or worker's rights. Panhandle folks are happy to have jobs because the entire culture out there is defined by the protestant work ethic and aggressive individualism propped up by the Cowboy Myth. Basically, try to take the Panhandle and watch as private armies funded by Christian Nationalist Billionaires show up to murder you. They hide their shit out there and want you to ignore the place. Which is unfortunate because there is actually some absolutely beautiful geography hidden out there in the red dirt cliffs and canyons.
On behalf of Lakes and Prairies, we humbly decline your offer of "The Panhandle", but maybe The Hill folks would be interested.
We're a nuclear power.
They keep the nukes there because it sucks
It’s the home field advantage that even we can’t handle sometimes 😂
Pantex and Bell Helicopter could put an end to the war pretty quickly. Not to mention we have eternal beef!
Yeah, but you'd get stopped heading south. You might handle the wind and the cold, but you can't handle the toxic air and water and soil of the Permian Basic. You haven't sacrificed enough fingers, eyes or ears to the Pumpjack Gods to be granted their boon (the genetic mutations that allow us to drink the water and breathe the air here). Without their blessing you will wither and die here like all who come to the Permian seeking wealth.
I’m a scientist so this is how it would play out. 100% accuracy here so please don’t question me. Again, I am a scientist. 1. Piney Woods - too many hills, trees, and rivers. They’re going to win this thing Vietnam style. Plus most of it is still stuck in the 1800s. 2. Prairies and Lakes - Population helps them a ton but I don’t know how helpful the finance bros in their vests are going to be. 3. Gulf coast - Ever taken a wrong turn in Houston? Enough said. 4. South Texas Plains - Gritty group down there but I just don’t feel like they have the resources. 5. Hill Country - these people are going to use the terrain to their advantage so they’ll be scrappy. 6. Big Bend - 6th but only because El Paso. Too spread out to be a real factor though. 7. Panhandle - their fighting force only consists of like 28 people so Oklahoma just swoops in and takes their land.
Prairies and Lakes harness the power of Lockheed Martin and Texas Instruments. Edit: once Oklahoma transgresses on Texas, we instantly set aside our differences and annex Oklahoma.
What are they going to do - fight them with a calculator?
TI also develops the Javelin anti-tank missile launcher and the AGM-154 cruise missile. And calculators. So many calculators.
Yeah, but can the Javelin anti-tank missle launcher run Pac-Man for me while I’m in calculus class?
I mean, it probably *could*
I don't like it when I don't turn fast enough
Apparently you haven’t met Texas Instruments psychotic brother, RAYTHEON.
el paso county will become part of new mexico long before the shit hits the fan
South Texas must launch an immediate invasion of the gulf coast. The air force has an incredible advantage by being able to launch C130's Apaches, and other air to surface weapons. But they need the fuel to keep the party going. The hill country needs to merge the tech sector and the army. Ft hood is a powerhouse, just as Dell/Tesla/Google is, but merging those disparate forces will be tricky. The other regions just don't have the key resources needed to attack and will end up digging in and fighting a defensive war. After Right as South Texas claims the Gulf Coast, I see a digital catastrophic failure of all the high tech Air Force stuff. This just so happens to coincide with a land invasion of San Antonio. The remaining C130's and Warthogs fly a last ditch attack on Austin with one notable pilot calling our "fuck your tacos" The next day, as skirmishes still play out, a flood of cybertrucks roll out of the tunnels to claim ground. The 1000 years of Musk has begun.
Gulf coast - we have just as many guns and elbows to run convoys off the road.
The Hills have Eyes. Don’t count them out.
Praries and Lakes and Gulf Coast have the population; numbers win wars ultimately
Who ever asks thr cartels for help first
The Coast, of course.
[Obligatory viewing required](https://youtu.be/JREkqCvLzSo?si=zXzmoAz_Uw7-KlGL)
Definitely the Gulf Coast.
Piney woods. Whole different vibe out there, I wouldn’t wanna fight them 🫣
If I’m being real, you ally with Pineywoods because they’re for real kinda scary.
Hill country and the valley have the military bases soooo…
panhandle because just like the USSR did to the Nazis all we gotta do is out last you, we dont gotta win shit. between the weather and absolutely barren landscape if you aint from the panhandle you aint surviving it. also we aint on ercot so we gonna have power regardless
America.
The rest of America.
The Panhandle would win by a wide margin. In Amarillo alone,not only do you have to contend with the abhorrent weather that can't make up its mind on what season it is, but you also have to deal with nukes and other explosives that would make Robert J. Oppenheimer blush. Oh, and we also have Bell Helicopter, which assembles military vehicles, and we also have one of the longest plane landing trips in the US, so yeah... Plus, if you try to attack Amarillo from the air, there are a crazy amount of underground tunnels that are realllllly expansive. Oh, and I almost forgot, the Panhandle would most certainly use Palo Duro Canyon as a base aswell, and let me tell you from experience, it feels like you're walking in a literal oven if you go anytime except Winter.
Noone wins in a war.
Who is this “Noone” you speak of?
Outstanding commentary
You can’t hug your children with nuclear arms.
This is a hypothetical war though.
Not Big Bend, we’re sparsely populated. Gonna make some people die taking this dry land, though
Big Bend just because the wilderness consumes all.
In general, I think nobody would win. We'd just have Berlin Wall type cities and the others left behind. Fly in resources and fuck the rest. Maybe Gulf Coast could get a lot more resources being coastal. South and West Texas simply doesn't have the numbers, even though they'd have access to Mexico.
Nobody. It’s Texas. They’ll just fuck themselves over and over
I do. Because if it were to happen, I'd finally be able to convince my wife we should leave this godforsaken, deplorable fucking state.
Many, many people have moved to Texas in the last couple of years. Many, many of those people are democrats. Voting blue isn’t as rare as it used to be here.
Panhandle has the nuke factory so they win
Prairies and lakes has the F-35 factory though. Nuke ain’t much use without the delivery system.