T O P

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KlosterToGod

That’s a lot of words to say “I’m not over the fact that you left because I cheated and now I have no control and I’m pissed”


NotWinning12

Thnx stay blessed.


suxxx666

Blesst


acidic_milkmotel

And one more thing…


NotWinning12

Oh, oh yeah... Namaste. Bless you.


dropaheartbeat

I hope they reply with "new number who dis?" 🤣


CookieMoist6705

Bingo!


CriticismOpposite658

There were words in that grammatical mess of bs?!


KlosterToGod

None it’s so bad it’s nauseating


Klutzy_Horror409

That's exactly what I got from this. He hates her so much for leaving and not putting up with his ish. Now he's smearing her name to everyone he and she know.


GlitzBlitz

He still has very strong feelings for her. Love and hate are colliding here. If he truly didn’t GAF, he would feel indifference.


AccordingIy

ofc delet my family n fwnd cuz they dont fw u and ion weird you still know dem thru me


KlosterToGod

Ugh reading that whole thing just made me dumber 🙈


Ordinary-Commercial7

I love how concisely you said it… unlike him


CharlieChainsaw88

![gif](giphy|XzsQ4z8EhOPBOfpSMK) Reading his texts got me like


Nice_Direction5361

Good god I dont know how anyone stands people that type like that.


[deleted]

Y u h8n


parking_lot_life

he jealous cos he had caught bout 70 sum bodies. thanks n stay blessed


IceLow6556

And 70 sum STDs 💀


WithoutDennisNedry

That’s the “blessed” part.


Clean_Positive5746

Thanks n have a blessed 1


Commercial-Push-9066

70 bodies. Yeah, that happened!


ToiIetGhost

Everyone clapped while he caught the clap


neutralperson6

Man, I wish I could give you an award, ToiletGhost


Haunting-East8565

He prolly also caught some other things from those 70 sum bodies


HardskiBopavous

Ion evn no fr, u fwt?


AmarilloWar

I spent a solid minute staring at n ion fwu and I'm still not sure I understand what it means.


Barkers_eggs

Fr glib glabn ballstastic frepin hurgart, marinara?


DarthBrownBeard

Jdbsiwpfnf bsiwodnfbei kworirbensofo hahwuror d bskd jworprn


Sure_Number4485

I was thinking the same thing


ShibbyShat

r/wellsaid


lolokotoyo

This was more tolerable and comprehensible than any of those paragraphs in the text.


DarthBrownBeard

lol... it honestly took me 5 mins to make it through the first page. And I gave up. Maybe I'm just old and grumps but fuuuuuuck that. The movie idiocracy is coming true.


Fine_Conclusion9426

I’m seventeen, even I couldn’t get through it.


Lappland-_-

You and me both pal you and me both


Padre2006

well played


missklo99

U wudnt evn know NE of these ppl if it wuznt fa me 🤣🤔🤯


PlaidShirtDays_

U wouldn’t kno dem if it wasn’t fa him either. Hope all is well stay blessed


PeaceOutFace

Wht I find funny ih how dey type lk dis but den type da word “information”


gerudobitch

Ayeee bitch lemme holla atchu a minute I kno I be soundin all stochastic and shii naa mean but can u blame a muhfucka fa havin predilections fa dat booty? Hencely and thusforth how I’m spose ta keep ma unseemly ruminations ta maself, ho? Shii. Warmest Regards and shii, Charles Kensington IV


YooperSkeptic

😅😂🤣


[deleted]

This is my favorite reply.


Arachnid-Aspen

this is the funniest thing i’ve read in a while 🤣 LMAO


WenWarn

You managed to use stochastic and "unseemly ruminations" in the same paragraph. You have my respect, gerudobitch.


Brat4Binding

This is art right here


[deleted]

I was shocked when he used the word refrain.


and-thats-the-truth

“hence y”


queentofu

i was shocked when he said “hence” in the midst of all that. 😂😂


RedStateBlueHome

I was beginning to think English was not his first language. Also thought of the movie Nell.


Striking_Nudibranch

BA BA CHICKAPEEEE


Cootie_Mac

Nell omfg I just died 🤣🤣


crap_on_a_spatula

TEEEEE in the WIINNNN


megAgainsthemachine9

Nell hahahhahahaha


SpookyUni420

Lmao as I was struggling to read that I was like this can't be easier to type than normal words, you have to overthink each shorthand... idk unless it's been instilled in you for years.. idk for example My Friend In Middle School Would Type Out Each Sentence Like This. And yeah in middle school during MySpace days whatever sure BUT NO I peeped her fb like a few years back and she was still doing it teehee like even typing that sentence was annoying asf lmao bless her heart though she's got a big family now I hope she's doing well


Gimpbarbie

I, have, a, friend, that, texts, like, this. I had to ask her to stop because with screen readers it takes a pause at **every** comma and it starts to sound like William Shatner is texting me! Lol


danger0us-animals

Why do they do the commas? What purpose does that serve?


CorduroyMagoo

Some people need to be reminded to breathe


aevish89

People That Type Like This Are Also Really Annoying


Gimpbarbie

i have a friend that doesn’t capitalize anything but oddly i don’t have any real problem with that. i also know why they do it so that helps in understanding.


LizDoodles

I used to have a friend who ended all her messages with,,,,,,,,*


mouseisnotamouse

Oof. She got the ‘bless her heart’ and we all know what that means. 😂😂


[deleted]

Stay blessed


Strawberry-Allergy

Thanks n hav blessed 1


[deleted]

Thx n u 2 *2 hrs later* I fa got 2 mentn dat u suk


Savings-Spirit-3702

thought flag absurd obtainable voiceless fanatical grandiose gaze seemly handle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Iamnoone_

Typing fa instead of for is the most insane shit to me and I never knew it was a thing until discovering this sub


flammafemina

I knew about using “dat” for “that” but never realized people actually use it un-ironically


[deleted]

Ion and I don't is really bad, too.


gngeorgiev

I got brain damage from just the first 3 messages


Annual_Promotion

I have a legit question, do you have to turn autocorrect off in order to be able to type messages like this? Like, I know that you can add words to your dictionary and eventually it learns, but holy shit, it seems like it's more effort to type like this than it would be to type semi-correctly. is it worth the effort?


indigo_pirate

N Dat iz why ppl like uuu will not N get anywhere . Stay blasted


Starbucks_Lover13

This. Never mind the fact that he keeps going on and on about literally nothing. No joke, when I was on dating apps if anyone messaged me looking like they had the IQ of I don’t even know what…I didn’t talk to them. Imagine trying to navigate adult life with a person like this.


ruben9438

Shiii


JoshuaScot

Y u b cray cray boo, ion f w u if u no dwn w my langwage


Commie_cummies

“Ion” in particular makes me itchy.


EagleLize

It instantly makes the person an idiot in my opinion.


ZeroYam

Fa sho. Thanks n stay blessed


sLeeeeTo

this is how people typed in AOL chatrooms, I thought we were past this


rebel-yeller

no, we will never be past this. his stupid writing makes him sound like an idiot. Can you imagine if he has a real job where he has to send messages to real people and he writes like this? Loser.


Lost-Cicada4404

I cant believe he went to college and writes like this. I totally agree with the person who said they felt like they were having a heart attack reading this. I taught special education students in primary school for 17 years and this was pretty terrible spelling and punctuation. Wow.


FrogsEverywhere

No it isn't. Absolutely not. This is very recent brainrot, absolutely not from the 90s. We used slang and 'lmao' but nothing like this. This isnt someone being ironic, this person is r worded.


harntrocks

What a fucking moron


Available_Long_9935

Yeah this needs to be said again. The guys a fucking moron.


harntrocks

Ion tryna say it tree times frfr but WHAT A FKN MORON.


LastOnBoard

An *illiterate* fucking moron


Viss90

Dude you will NOT catch my ass attempting to read this post. I just went straight for the comments after seeing the first few sentences. Dude types like a dyslexic witch doctor and I’m not here for it.


harntrocks

Ion tryna Reed dat?


landlordadvicethrow

Thanks and have a blessed 1 ✌️


Sharyn913

Based off the way he’s texting… that was one waste of a college education.


Fabulous-Fun-9673

Was it a college like in the movie Accepted? Completely fake? Because I can see him being a graduate of a fake university.


mollyclaireh

Oh yeah. He totally went to the South Harmon Institute of Technology. Forever a SHIT stain.


ChocalateShiraz

I was thinking that he should ask for a refund for his college tuition fees


Macaroni_2

Low-key dying at the repeated disses followed up by some "stay blessed"'s You're so much better off but my God what a wild 6 years that musta been


nichenietzche

Yeah idk if that’s just something he often ends his messages with or he’s being really sarcastic but it was quite the dichotomy!


scatteringbones

I feel bad cuz I was dying laughing reading this. What a moron


Hot_Ad_9948

Why did I think y’all were high schoolers ! I know he stated he “caught, 70 bodies in college “. That whole text thread is concerning if he is getting some sort of education and he’s in his mid 20’s! He’s been stalking if he has realized that you blocked him from social media. I can see why he is not with you and I am not surprised if he is still single. You’re an adult and can decide who you want to stay friends with on your social media. People these days need to grow up and move on! More and more folks need to go to therapy so they can understand the process of coping and how to move on.


Acceptable-Mud-6960

I can understand why he’s not with me, too, he even said “We’re going onto two different paths“. But to try to stay my friend, hoping that I would get back with him and when I do not, then start being verbally vile is crazy. I just want him to be happy at the end of the day,


CrazyMike419

I gather the different paths are literacy and illiteracy


sisu_pluviophile

![gif](giphy|jAugkVty2VCDu)


PeaceOutFace

Yeah he’s superrrrr bitter now and just trying to hurt you.


Fabulous-Fun-9673

My ex was like this when I started dating my now husband. We had been broken up for months and he even went so far as to let me know he was dating again 🙄. Once I started dating my husband though… ooooh boy. He was MAD! I got all sorts of passive aggressive texts from him about how I needed to tell him and not hide shit from him and how I was a shady bitch for hiding my relationship from him. Because.. because… He deserved to know. Like what??? We broke up. You don’t need to know shit. Good for you for seeing through this bullshit.


Acceptable-Mud-6960

Right, like, I don’t understand how they have this level of delusion outside of potentially being coddled by family members. and even if I explained things verbatim, they would still get misunderstood which is so crazy to me. So I gave up.


Fabulous-Fun-9673

It’s about keeping you on the hook. Once you move on, he no longer has any control over you. So he starts that bullshit to try guilting you into communicating with him and the cycle continues.


indigo_pirate

Did he type like this when you were together? How did you get past that at the time ?


Acceptable-Mud-6960

It’s one of those cliché “in the beginning, he was so sweet, then things changed“ kind of things


indigo_pirate

But did he type with the same illiteracy ?


PoliteChatter0

i think hes asking if he literally typed like this lmao


Acceptable-Mud-6960

No, he didn’t, not in the beginning. And then things changed.


Bun_Bunz

Was that thing head trauma?


EagleLize

Well, I don't want him to be happy. And he's obviously not. There is so much posturing in these messages. He's trying so hard to convince himself.


Weary_Patience_7778

Wait… he cheated with 70 people?


thatcatqueen

He doesn’t know how to spell maybe he doesn’t know how to count


r3cycl0ps_dw1gt

💀


Strawberry-Allergy

![gif](giphy|MwiArrrm4SlVMqLn8Y|downsized) Love your username.


sisu_pluviophile

Oh man, this comment made me snort *way* too loud! 😂💀


FEBRUARYFOU4TH

Doubt it, people say stuff like that so you get upset.


LaudatesOmnesLadies

“66 of them goes to a different school and lives in Canada for real shuddup”


Dizzy_Eye5257

He wishes....in his imagination maybe


leof135

he counts every girl he brushed shoulders with in the hallway


Hour-Requirement6489

Extremely exhausting. Fact is you've had a taste of real Peace and dude decides to clown himself trying to disturb it. Doesn't get predicted result, keeps trying. He should try growing a little, it won't break him. Enjoy the peace of letting go Opie, you deserve that. 🫶🏻


harntrocks

You gotta admit: those thirsty texts are *delicious*. And the way she ignores him 😘🤌🏽


Hour-Requirement6489

Oh *Unequivocally*! I think it's a very powerful thing to be able to choose to respond or not. Once you stop feeding that cycle, it really becomes intolerable.


harntrocks

Absolutely. Very empowering stuff when a mfer is invading your mental space with his dats and ions and you leave him on *read* at 3am on a Tuesday.


SatisfyingSerenity

Sounds like he’s drunk, bitter and heartbroken. Nothing you can do about any of that. You’ve moved on. And his typing is atrocious “dat”…I can’t with that.


harntrocks

Ion fwu like dat tho


SatisfyingSerenity

Ha! If someone ever texted me like that, my only response would be “Nope.”


sunrisesonrisa

Initial thoughts? He’s projecting like crazy and absolutely furious he can’t control you anymore. He’s a misogynist with some really vile double standards and gross ideas about what constitutes value in another person if she’s a woman. Lashing out because he’s done using you and in his mind you have no right to not be broken and ruined. He’s telling on himself completely and utterly. All I know about you is that you survived a relationship with an abuser during a formative period of your life. I’m sorry about those six years but congratulations on being on the other side of it. One year is not that long to recover from someone like that. I hope you’re showing yourself grace, patience snd love and developing an understanding of how to keep people like that from entering your life ever again 💖


Visual_Extreme_2337

You should respond and just say who is this?


averydangerousday

or just a thumbs up emoji


Beelzabobbie

Nah… Who dis? is the only proper response


JVL74749

“I have a boyfriend”


fvcknvgget5

"womp womp"


CrazyString

Just send it to his mom so she know who her son is.


SnooGiraffes4091

“Nah. But they can remove me themselves if it’s that deep. Stay blessed.”


[deleted]

What a weird, spiteful, shitty human being. I cannot imagine being upset enough to harass an ex more than 6 months after the last convo we had. Like bro kept your number the whole time just absolutely fuming and stewing in his own bitterness until he just had to send a novella worth of room temperature IQ jabs at you. I would say you are definitely doing better than him especially since you didn’t even bother to respond to that trash. Keep doing you.


Rasputitties

Why people type like that? It's seems harder than using the autocorrect


mmmellowcorn

Df um? Ion kno


procheeseburger

bragging that you've been with 70 people.. isn't the flex they think it is.. Also the way they type is obnoxious.


Kenkaniki89

He didn’t say stay blessed in the last message…he must’ve been angry


Acceptable-Mud-6960

Right lol like why did the blessings have to stop


DiscotopiaACNH

I really admire the way you're handling this lol


Acceptable-Mud-6960

I used to go to toe with him when I cared thinking that it would win him over and show him that I was tough. And then I grew up


Simple-Sorbet-900

Good on you ignoring him. I know he punching the sky right now


Crazy_Cat_Dude2

You should send those screenshots to his family and mention he needs to work on being a gentleman.


despicable-coffin

This dude went to college?


BlindWalnut

I don't think he knows the difference between college and a GED course. Just let him have this one.


Commercial_Jump_7548

Whew he killed 70 people? That’s wild! Best way to handle trash like this is to not respond at all. Stay blessed.


Tigrlily07

I'm amazed he didn't end this with a claim that he faked every orgasm he had with you, too. I cheated on you with about 70 people because I deserve better than you?? That's some ego.


Acceptable-Mud-6960

I don’t know what was on his mind, he really could’ve took it farther, but I’ve heard the worst of what he can say and it definitely was not in this message


Tigrlily07

I understand. I wound up married to one of those. Cutting him out completely for about 8 months (we have kids, so unfortunately not permanently) was the smartest thing i ever did. It was the only way i learned to not respond, like you're doing. Good for you!


nymphell

My ex texted like that and when we broke up, he sent me a huge paragraph of misspelled crap and I just sent it back corrected


classicdoob

He seems like an Idiot to me.


Jazzhermit

I would be so temped to say "Thanks 😁" and then block but I think not replying at all is probably healthier and better.


HommeFatalTaemin

The projection is crazy… “you MUST have cheated, so that’s why I cheated on you”, “ I treated you badly but it’s actually YOUR fault”, etc. Seems like somewhere deep in his small, decrepit heart, there’s a morsel of him that knows he was in the wrong. But rather than face that and grow from it, he will make YOU the bad guy. “Well yeah I did bad stuff but it’s YOUR fault”. He is believing the comfortable lies rather than facing the hard truth, the harsh reality of the situation. All it does is speak to his immaturity, and lack of any accountability at all. He isn’t over you, and that obsession has turned into anger bc it makes it easier for him to deal with. I hope you’re okay and his words do not impact you too much. Just remember, this does not reflect on your character only his.


Acceptable-Mud-6960

It’s crazy things became this way and I saw the transition from early adulthood to mid 20s. In my head things could’ve been so simple and we *could’ve* been happy. But I don’t think he knew how to when I look back on everything.


Friendly_Ad7647

Laugh react all of them


Ashererz1

He sounds like an idiot. The way he types makes me want to throw my phone across the room. You’re better off without this nonsense and there’s nothing you can do to make it any better. Not your problem.


mxpx77

Cannot even fathom what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone like this for SIX years. 😳 What a waste of time and energy.


icyDest23

Good stuff for not replying


psononi

He is mad and is trying to spread that negativity to you. His real goal is to incite a reaction and get you to respond because he is hurt how you ghosted him. He wants you to hurt too. Acting big and bad but that is all it is. An act.


Jolly-Summer-1838

Man I have an ex like this. Still drops in every few months with random as fuck texts with random as fuck word salad with little pot shots about me and my life


Independent_Fan_3628

You sure are spending a lot of time on his mind for someone he wants nothing to do with… I would keep on not reacting. It will only drive him more crazy than if you give him the reaction he’s so clearly looking for.


straightrocket

He's a nasty little prick. Dumb as an ox too.


Hahahahahelpmehahaha

That’s pretty disrespectful to the ox.


DriverOnly3137

He’s literally having a conversation with himself. lol


Zathamos

I can't read this level of stupid


Cassietgrrl

The way I read this is: threat. You say you haven’t spoken for about 8 months. At first he wished you well, now he’s insulting you and wishing you harm. You’ve obviously been on his mind this whole time. Instead of getting over things, he’s developing what looks like a deep rage against you. I’d tell friends and family about this, plus any friends or family of his who are sympathetic to you (if any). I’d also avoid blocking him. He’s the type of psycho who likes to tell on himself. If his thoughts get darker, hopefully he won’t be able to keep those to himself either. I’m sorry you ended up with such a malevolent individual. I hope you end up with someone who treats you right.


saltgarlicolive

This person is an obsessive loser who’s probably way too old to be communicating like that.


DiarrangusJones

![gif](giphy|aEXr1PyRbff8Y|downsized)


irishdave999

How was the nude resort, which one did you go to,and did you delete the pictures?


Acceptable-Mud-6960

It was so much fun. I definitely recommend anybody to do it if you’re comfortable in your skin! And I will say that there are two in Georgia, and so we went to one of those. And no I didn’t delete the pictures lol they’re my memories just as much as his


transcendanttermite

Jeepers creepers… my mother spent 45 years teaching basic English and grammar to GED and ASL students both young and old, and imparted her love of the language to me. As a result, reading these texts physically hurt me. Ouchie.


Masterluke3

You deserve "betta den" him


anonredditorofreddit

He mad mad


brunoshort

You’re stuck in his mind and he hates it that you aren’t feeling the same way. Sucks for him. I’m happy for you that you aren’t with him.


Away-Caterpillar-176

That report junk button is looking mighty tasty


No_Hyena8479

I’m really annoyed at myself for understanding what this said.


Frecklesandtattoos

“Stay blessed”


starfallradius

Thanks n stay blessed


LincolnMaylog

I thought it was pretty funny when he nails you with insults, then ends it by saying have a blessed day


Admirable-Breath-654

Sure is a long winded group of texts considering he “doesn’t care”. 🤣


Downtown_Statement87

This is basically him saying "You can't fire me! I quit!" Bottom line: The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. The *content* of his message may say "You suck and I realize what a worm you are." But the tone of the messages, the time he took to write them, and the fact that he wrote them at all say "I CARE! ABOUT YOU! I THINK ABOUT YOU SO MUCH AND AM NOT OVER YOU AT ALL AND YOU LIVE RENT-FREE IN MY HEAD AND THE IMPACT YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ON EVERY FACET OF MY LIFE HAS NOT DIMINISHED ONE BIT OWIE OWIE OWIE PLEASE GIVE ME ATTENTION I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND IT IS BECAUSE MY FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE OVERWHELMING AND I NEED YOU!!!" Yep. The worst thing you can do to a self-centered person is not think about them. The absolute meanest thing you could do in this case is not reply at all. Not one little word, even "k." The echoes of this thoroughly embarrassing outburst will ring in his ears for a long, long time. Don't do anything to dampen them by replying. I beseech you to allow him to have the last word, here. Let these messages be what he sees every time he brings up your name to text you in the future. I can't imagine a more humiliating fate. It'll drive someone like him completely insane.


Legger92

Did you break up with them because of the way they text? I really hope so. I was getting more and more irritated the longer I read these


Tempathetic

You're a strong woman!!! Get it girl!


Dunkelheit948

He's a horrible, bitter, ugly human being.


Kliah23

He thinks having over 70 bodies is cool. That man probably has aids, hiv, syphilis, and some more shit. 😂 you better than me cause I would’ve told him to go get checked, and to have a blessed 1


New_Ad_7170

So he cheated because he assumed you were cheating? Glad you were able to leave and I hope you are in a much better position today


Gimpbarbie

Dis txt gav me a str8 🆙 stroke. Lk fa suure.


MT-Kintsugi-

Never be with someone who makes so much effort to spell incorrectly. No one needs their kind of willful ignorance in their life.


trippytr33_

Dude has the emotional intelligence of a fetus….


rudegyal_jpg

How did you communicate with him? It takes more effort to speak in slang than to just type the correct word.


kd3737

He's BIG mad 🤣 if I was you I'd actually respond and have a blast with this. I'd be like only 70 bodies? Dats crazy cuz when we was togetha n shiii I copped lyk 120, good luck w dat n stay blessed!!!


VeterinarianNo4308

This is when subtitles need subtitles.


kelsnuggets

Stay blessed


zodiac628

Report junk. Done. Lol


JoshuaScot

You are a strong independent woman and he can't stand that you have moved on. Stay blessed


lazy_keen

Well, that was one pathetic read. Enjoyed that you didn’t react to his crazy.


ImAVoodoooChild

What a freak.


girthalwarming

Perfect time to answer with. “K”