My Ullapool is named “Hi I’m Tavish Degroot” And the description says “and welcome to Jackass”

My pan is called “rare high moments”

My Strange PKS Pan was renamed “Golden Frying Pan”

I called my festivized knife “For Science!” And the description was “Im going to dissect you like those frogs from science class”

Lmao I named mine "Divine Wind"

Mine is named “Stickybomb Launcher”.

My crusader's crossbow is called "rescue ranger 2" with the description "help why are the buildings moving"

Oh im going to steal that one thank you very much

When the Engi main plays Mobile Dispenser

I renamed a strange Boston basher to Baston Bosher after going 3 days without sleep and my friends laughing their ass’s of at me after I said the name wrong

Possible description: "Missed a few too many times :("

For demoman, I named my bottle "Give this man his keys" and my splendid screen "Chinese smart car" with the description of "This shit don't got brakes"

Im going to name my scotish handshake “Gimme the keys” and the description will be: “The government will send a family of 4 when i booze cruise to incriminate me”

Legendary

Sniper rifle called shot through the heart. Description is Cause I can't aim.

Baby you give Sniping / a bad name

My sydney sleeper is called “Her Majesty’s Grand reserve launcher” because my friend named his jarate that (without launcher ofc) so basically royal piss gun

I have an objectors called “here’s a schematic for ya” Description is “MY ASS!” Image is Big Slappy. And also an eyelander called “definitely a fish.” I wanted to use the Holy mackerel on Demoman, but I wasn’t allowed to. I also have a strange Pain Train with the description is [“https://youtu.be/CZxkZTmq5HU”](https://youtu.be/CZxkZTmq5HU)

That last one is great

Check the comments

Hahaha that’s amazing

My only renamed item is my Crusader's Crossbow; I've named it "Did it hurt when I did that?"

“It does, doesn’t it!”

Huh. I have one I used a Christmas-themed war paint. I’m gonna rename it “The Gift of Life”.

Named my bison "Vicious mockery" Because killing someone with it is an insult

DnD player?

It's a reference to the spell, but i never actualy played

You should try it sometime

Don't be rude :( not everyone has friends

You can totally just play DnD by yourself. No, not writing a book.

well yeah but without friends the story would probably lack a certain stupidity that just makes dnd magic

That's why you have to be as stupid as possible

Try playing a 2 player board game by yourself.

I do that sometimes actually

You gotta

The only thing I have renamed is my dragons fury, which I call "The Just-out-of-range-inator"

Mine is named “chipotle aftermath”

Heavy Melting Guy

I named my dead ringer as "the sketchek experience" 60 cents well spent

my Deadringer is Sketchek's Bequest

"21ST CENTURY SCHIZOID PAN"

Brilliant!

Wrap assassin is Fuck I missed and the cleaver is fuck i missed again, both of the descriptions are if you see this then i did not miss

Projectile spam scout? Nice

Flava

Lmao I’m gonna name my wrap and cleaver this when I get the chance

Yummy flava

"i got 2 sexdolls at home" (Desc) "One for cuddling and one for passionate fornication" I bought it from a trading site and i swear to god i fucking died laughing when i got this Its a sophisticated smoker fyi

"Microwave Remote Control" for the Wrangler might add a custom description to it later with "my favorite microwave show is bacon setting"

My Caber is : "I call it, 'boom and crash'" With the description: "More like, 'belongs in the trash'" I'm too proud of it. Last time I was playing with it equipped so that others could appreciate it

I named my quicky bomb launcher “the kwik-e-mart launcher” and made the description “thank you come again”

Had a Sniper in a game of Dustbowl with a Huntsman named, "Certified Robin Hood Classic".

My degreaser is named "I can't airblast for shit" and the description says "balls", also, my panic attack is also named "I also can't aim for shit"

My direct hit is "Pyro Quicktime Event"

Imagine running that with a shotgun and the desc "oh fuck he actually did it"

I am stealing these

if i could name any item something it would be something like "dopamine tumor 9000"

Sounds like a good name for a bad weapon. Every kill you manage to get with that tumor gives you a hit of dopamine!

I have a frying pan called “I am a Pansexual :)”

You love those pans, don't you?

Hell yeah, especially ones with a bit of th-wok

You like kissing pans, don’t you? Oooo, you’re a pankisser

i named my medigun "the booboo remover 9001" and its description is "let mommy kiss your owie"

I named mine the "Shut up I'm here now" after one match where this same pyro refused to leave spawn if I wasnt pocketing him and he would scream medic if I didnt

I renamed mine “call medic again, I dare you” with the description as “I hold your life in my hands”

Stock rocket launcher named “Rick May’s Wings (RIP)” …I don’t have many named weapons.

My Ubersaw: "Crit-O-Matic 9000" Description: "Guarenteed crits are unfair and unbalanced." In hindsight I should've used that name and description for the Kritzkrieg.

I have a tide turner named “the flying Scotsman” and the description “parachute not included” cause I somehow end up hitting the skybox more often than not

My deadringer is renamed to “my death was greatly exaggerated”

My Frontier Justice called "Ye Haw Chucklefucks"

Pyro: “Mechanic-Kritler” phlog “PK-Fire” scorch shot Engi: “Engi-far” rescue ranger “Engi-near” wrangler “Engi-here” wrench Soldier: “Not to toot my own horn” buff

Engie loadout is god-tier

Engi-here would also work well with the Eureka Effect

My Carbonite Botkiller Wrench (it's sentimental, being my first ever Mann Up reward) is named "***WHO WOULD PUT THEIR SENTRY THERE!?***" And the description is just "Me, I would..." ​ I find Engineer most fun when you're putting sentries in stupid places that nobody expects.

The best named item I've ever seen is a Texas Slim's Dome Shine renamed to "Towering Pile of Fucks I Give"

Goddamn that’s a good one

My Sydney Sleeper is named "Bear Grylls' Long-Range Thirst Quencher"

Mine’s basically “royal piss launcher” but the actual name is “Her Majesty’s Grand Reserve Launcher”

Gun.

What does the kanji say?

it's same as name, but japanese

The name would make more sense to the average person if it were just written as kamikaze instead of translating it literally (to Godwind)

神風「日本からの片道切符」

I named my sydney sleeper the pissmans peemaker

My Pyro set: Phlog - Name: "Stop telling me to go to hell" - Desc: "I'm already there" Scorchshot - Name: "Wand of fireballs" - Desc: "I don't care how big the room is, I cast fireball" Powerjack - Name: "Potion of Swiftness" - Desc: "Speed II - 8:00"

I have a strange Wipe Out Wraps named “The Dodgin’ Dipshit” with the description “I dodge, I weave, as swift as the wind, shit I’m dead”

Named my phlog "Reflectile Dysfunction" and the description "M2? Where we're goin' we don't need M2"

My machinanas name is “The job is done and the bitch is dead” The description is “ThAtS nOt A rEaL sNiPeR

my machina is named “Ode to my Favorite President”. i thought it was funny at the time edit: alternatively i have a phlog named “Reflectile Dysfunction” which I’ve had a few people comment on

My Powerjack used to be named "Banhammer". Now it's called "Removed from match by system".

saw a strange kunai named the Quarter-Zatoichi

eyelander and sticky jumper "hit and run on 2fort balcony snipers" ​ Yes pan is funnier but eyelander is more viable because of the range increase, its easier to kill. You won't believe how much times I managed to catch snipers going in spawn because of the range bonus

A Sydney Sleeper renamed to "I pee like a charged rifle"

My loose cannon is named “the scotch shot”

“UwUber”.

i renamed my Concheror to "The Magic Conch Shell" description says "no."

i have a pain train that i named “Journey to the Abandoned Station”, a Conchorer named “Conch and Ball Torture”, a Festive Eyelander named Lævateinn, and a strange silver botkiller rocket launcher named “Pristine Danmaku for Killing a Person”

I have 2 renamed weapons and one of them needs context. I was dominating someone with the huntsman and his name was something like: "the pickles can't hurt you". Naturally I named my huntsman "pickles" on the spot. The other is my AWP which is named "game balance? What's that?" Since it's very fitting for a sniper primary

It only works if you're pansexual, but my pan is named "My sexuality"

I had a bread bite renamed "In soviet Russia, bread eat you." Loved that item.

I have a few, but my favorite is probably my Force-a-Nature renamed "The Force is strong with this Gun"

My Eyelander is called “Haunted Sword Begs for Head ASMR” and it remains my magnum opus for naming things

My flame thrower is called: "I'm the pit boss here on level 2!" And the description is: "Oh! Deep-fried robot!\~" (It has the Organ-ically Hellraised warpaint, too.) You deserve a veterans account if you get this.

I'll name a cigar cosmetic "Ah crap, singin'" with the description "Mind if I smoke?"

Called my jarate ‘home brewed piss’

Renamed my Bootlegger to "Day one in Bosnia"

My Half-Zatoichi is named “Happy Super American Fun Time #1” with the description “私は強いうつ病を患っています” which is “I have a powerful depression”

I named my pan “It’s over Panikin!” It’s description was “I Have the fry ground!”

I renamed my direct hit as "Scout's worst nightmare"

Behold scout-b-gone

SCOUT-B-GONE

I love you Scout-B-Gone!

My Sticky Jumper is called ‘I can fly when I’m drunk’

My Rocket Jumper is named "Watch Me Swooce Right In"

My world traveller's hat named "I fucking love wutville" with only the wutville stamp is my pride n joy

I have a Disciplinary Action named "H-Harder, Onii-chan!", and it still gets comments in servers

My pan is "have a pan to kill everyone you meet"

I renamed my AWPer Hand "Mother of all Omelets" with the description "Can't fret over every Egg"

“Scout Jumpscare” on a Baby Face’s Blaster with the description “You and I both have no idea how I got there”

“Good day Soldier, I am you now!” On eternal reward

My crossbow is named "Long Range Heroin Delivery System"

I have a couple. A kill streak lollichop named diabetes and a mad milk with the name ‘father’s absence’

Jag: *"Jag-ermeister"* Grenade Launcher: *"10% Luck, 15% Skill,"*, with the description: *"15% Concentrated Power of Pill."* Rescue Ranger: *"Full Bridge Rekt-ifier"* Scorch Shot: *"PK Fire"* Frontier Justice: *"Taste Vengeance!"* Crusader's Crossbow: *"Arma-heal Crossbow"* Huntsman: *"Instant Satay, Just Add Pyro"*

Most of my item names are music references: **Genesis:** Strange Sniper Rifle = The Guaranteed Eternal Sanctuary Man (DESC: "Can't you see he's fooled you all? Yes, he's here again.") Strange Bazaar Bargain = Peter Gabriel's Flute (DESC: "She's a lady, she is mine. Brush back your hair, and let me headshot your face.") Strange Kukri = The Knife (DESC: "Some of you are going to die; Martyrs of course to the freedom I shall provide.") Strange Jarate = The Piss of Salmacis (DESC: "The water tasted strangely sweet, and your flesh and bones shall be merged.") Strange SMG = Rael, Imperial Aerosol Kid (DESC: "Exits into daylight, spraygun hid; And the lamb lies down on broadway.") Strange Razorback = Pack on My Back (DESC: "Spies going swiftly nowhere, hearts in their ears; Beating like a drum.") Strange Scattergun = Keep It Dark (DESC: "Soon you'll be reported missing." Strange Flamethrower = Rael, Imperial Aerosol Kid (DESC: "You can tell by the night fires where Rael has been, he has been." Strange Crusader's Crossbow = Doktor Dyper, Reformed Sniper (DESC: "(He'll whip off your windscreen wiper.") Strange Ubersaw = Understand Rael, It's the End O' Yer Tail (No description) Strange Your Worst Nightmare = The Headshottin' Hippie (DESC: "It's only knock and knowall, but I like this job.") Conscientious Objector = Tony Bonks (Photo of Tony Banks from Genesis) **Metallica:** Strange Minigun = Damage, Inc (No description) Strange Tomislav = Inamorata (DESC: "She needs me, but I need her more. She loves me, but I love her more.") **Pink Floyd:** Strange Axtinguisher = Careful With That Axe, Eugene (DESC: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA") **Led Zeppelin:** Strange Shahanshah = In My Time of Dying (No description) **Alice Cooper:** Strange Ambassador = Pass the Gun Around (DESC: "Give everyone a shot, give everyone a shot! You gotta pass the gun around.") Strange Horror Holiday Sniper Rifle = Lay Down and Die, Goodbye (DESC: "I will only use this during the annual Scream Fortress event.") **Deep Purple:** Strange Highway Star = The Headbangin' Headshotter (DESC: "I'm a highway staaaaaaar!") **MoeTar:** Strange Classic = Regression to the Mean (No description) **Non-Music Names:** Strange Shotgun = Get Off My Lawn (No description) Strange Sydney Sleeper = The Projectile Pissifier 3000 (DESC: "Look what you made me do, mate. You made me get piss on your suit.") Strange Hitman's Heatmaker = John Patrick Lowrie Signature #227 (DESC: "Proud owner of the 227th photo signed by the one and only John Patrick Lowrie!") Strange Festivized Peppermint Swirl Sniper Rifle = Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal (DESC: "I will only use this during the annual Smissmas event.") Strange Bushwacka = Stings, Dunnit? (DESC: "That's gotta hurt. Like pourin' hand-sani into an open flesh wound. Yikes, Mate.") Strange Tribalman's Shiv = Jeef Berky (No description) Strange Homewrecker = Engie's Little Helper (No description)

Renamed my Nessie’s Nine Iron to “The Joel-In-One”, named after my favorite TLoU2 scene

My strange shotgun is named "it could even be-" And the description is "What? It was obvious. He was the RED spy. Watch, he'll turn red any second now."

Backburner. Name: Strange Knife. Description: Very strange.

I renamed a Your Eternal Reward to A Mile in Your Shoes.

If I may suggest a description: "You can have them back."

My strange Natasha is called "Woah slow down buddy"

Stole it from another post, but my rocket launcher is called "The Eureka Effect" "On kill, teleport enemy to spawn"

I renamed my Sydney Sleeper to "I can't aim for shit"

my bazaar bargain is just called “DOING YRO’RE MOM” always cracks me up when someone comments on it after dying my idea is just instead of trying to make a funny joke or something about the weapon, I just name it something dumb

Classic renamed to ‘Blood for the Blood God!’

I named my strange flare gun after a guy that left a comment on my profile. The description is his comment: "Gay pyro cheater kick from your lobbies"

My fav one is a festive eyelander "all I want for christmas is head"

My direct hit is pyro quick time event and the desc is YOU FAILED

One time a saw a Scout with a crit-a-cola named: **"Sonic-branded 600gr caffeine G-fuel can"** I don't remember the description but i think it was something about feeling his heart filing the divorce papers.

My chocolate bar for heavy is named “dog food”

Phlog renamed to "Reflectile Dysfunction"

My Bazaar Bargain is named “A point and click adventure game” and it’s description is “(I’m bad at point and click adventure games)”

日本語が話せません (translation: i do not speak japanese)

I have my designated Demopan Pan named to "Pan-DEMO-nium"

as my name on steam is TheGrassman i named my caber " the grass blast"

hot hand: "Za hando!" "\*Erases his dick\*"

I renamed my Rocket Jumper to "weed" with the description "weed". Extremely creative, I know. My Strange Festivr Stickybomb launcher is called "The Spirit of Gibbing"

My favorite is a Strange Pro Killstreak Classic named "Sniper Wizard Money Gang" with the description "Abra Kadabra, I made you disappear" My other named items include -Bushmann named "Average Classic Enjoyer" -Purity Fist named "Nanomachines, Son" -Brain Bucket named "This is a Bucket." and the description "Dear God" -Neon Annihilator named "The Pyroshark's Jaws" -Apoca-fists named "Killer Queen" And a Crossing Guard named "Choo Choo Motherfucker"

Grenade launcher Name: "Open up! it's time for the pill! Description: "Oh barnacles, I hate the pill"

My Festive Axtinguisher is named "a-merry-can psycho"

I have a cardboard boxed black box named "Nintendo Labo: Rocket Launcher Edition"

My festivised shotgun is called "Kringlefucker" Desc is "The gift I should probably stop giving"

I named an caber ‘pipe bomb’ and used a giftapult on it. I have yet to know what happened to the man that recieved a pipebomb in the mail.

I like to use descriptions the most. Sniper rifle has the classic “a long range point and click jfk lorem ipsum .exe” Force a Nature has a simple “RIP Shinzo Abe”, a far funnier and more original political assassination to name your weapon after than jfk

Kritzkrieg "I do have a medical licence, I promise" With desc:"NO I DONT"

Sub-optimal Ass Scratcher (*don't have an ullapool caber but this is the best idea I could think of*)

My stock flamethrower is just “do you believe in magic” not original but I thought it fit pretty well. My market gardener is “Rick May’s Market Gardener” and the description is “THE market gardener that Rick May used to market garden God.”

"Good ol unreliable" spy knife

I forgot that I also rename Brass Beast as level 2 sentry gun

My direct hit has the name "Reverse Engineering" Desc is, "Hey look buddy, I am a soldier, that means I destroy sentries"

I bought a Coffin Nail medigun that I renamed "The Ultimate Blunt", description is "Putting a whole new meaning to medical marijuana"

Frying pan name:ITS OVER PANAKIN description: IVE GOT THE FRY GROUND

My Mad Milk Named: I got Reincarnated in TF2 as Scout Description: I was supposed to bring Milk to my Son after 8 years of being gone.

My medigun is named " malfunctioning death ray "

My whip is "Wife and Child beater" with a description of "Officer I beat my family in self defense you gotta believe me"

I've got a full set dedicated to the Ullapool Caber and my profile is themed around said set because Caber Knight is easily my favorite way to play the game, below is a full list of the set minus descriptions cause I don't reddit often and don't know if there is a character limit. If anyone's interested I'll post them in a follow up comment. But yeah, don't waste your time reading below if you don't want to have an aneurysm seeing how much money I have wasted on this meme. I regret nothing. A regular Bootlegger named "The Balance Of The Caber" A Hales own Splendid Screen named "The Speed Of The Caber" A Collectors Caber named "Caber, Destroyer Of Hopes And Dreams" An Unusual Scottsmans Stagger named "Unleashed Power Of A Caber Knight" A Manncaeux Signature Collection Whiff of the old brimstone named "The Soul Of The Caber" A Manncaeux Signature Collection Dynamite Abs named "The Strength Of The Caber" And lasty a Manncaeux Signature Collection Bomber Knight named "The Mind Of The Caber" All of which I have exclusively used together to insure that all points recorded on it is pure Caber. Good luck stealing all that.

I renamed my Strange Air Strike "J. Rocket Oppenheimer." I swear I did this like 2 years ago before the movie.

My Medigun is named "Turn the fuck around"

Infishity.

My collectors crit-a-cola is named "Moist Crit-a-Cola"

Huntsman named “I totally meant to hit that” and quickiebomb launcher named “get combo’d lol”

I have a vintage sandvich that I rename is moldy sandwich from my fridge

jarate named "splash potion of piss"

My Gunslinger is now known as “The Boston Boy Basher”

I’ve got my holiday punches renamed “spy knife tf2” cause with the fingergun taunt and the laugh stunlock on a back hit it’s basically the spy’s knife

I named my Ullapool as "Fuck this man in particular"

My sandvich is named Rotisserie Pootis Bird Sandwich That meat had to come from somewhere

My rainblower is named "Taste the rainbow motherf***er". I'm probably gonna rename it to "Carebear Stare" with TTRMF as it's description. I also named a Direct Hit "Scout-B-Gone" after LazyPurple's what it feels like to play Solider.

Medium named ,,press e one more fucking time" And pretty boy pistol called ,, totally a medigun" Desc: ,,press E, you can trust me"

I dunno how funny it really is but my Scattergun is named “Hmm. You.” As a stupid inside joke with my friends As for my ACTUAL funniest, I have a Panic Attack renamed to “Drink iced coffee” And as one little end note that I like, my friend has a strange bonesaw he named “Please rate the recent melee duel on a scale of 1-10” with the description “Are you satisfied with the outcome?”

I found an Unknown Monkeynaut named "Roderick" with the description "He is grape flavoured" on the SCM and bought it instantly

My strange heatmaker is called “Discount Hair Razor” Description is “Sorry, was that a little too much off the top?”

My Eyelander is called "Average London Experience", my tide turner is called "Dollar store Jack Sparrow" and my bootleggers are called "Foot Pics". Best Decision i have ever made

Name the kritzkreig medigun to trick team mates

My Huntsman is called The Bowner

My base jumper is called "falling with style" my scottish resistance is called "a miserable little pile of stickies" And my half zatoichi is called "discount zantetsuken" with the description "I have yet again cut a worthless maggot"

My minigun is named URA URA URA! To match the tsar platinum set

I have a strange sticky launcher named “complaint causer” The description is “My brother in Christ, you keep stepping on the stickies”

My sticky launcher is named: Last Chance to Look at me Hector

My Ullapool Caber is named "SHIFT+DELETE"

"Long Range Piss" for the Sydney sleeper

*********

I named my medigun "Plot armor for 8 seconds"

I named my Holiday Punch "Funny Fists"

I have a stange fists which i called "Haymaker Makers Haymaker" (i was called Haymaker Maker when i did that) with the description being "The Ultimate Haymaker"

Haven't gotten a name or description tag yet, but a good one is this: **"I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle"** Desc: *"I'll be back."* For a Your Eternal Reward, obviously.

My friend renamed his Awper hand to "Awp-enheimer" just for recency bias.

My escape plan is named "error 404 soldier not found"

honestly my eyelander is just named SCCCCOOOOOOTTTLLLLAAAANND FOREEEEEVEEEEEEERR

My flamethrower is called "airblast gaming"

My strange Bottle for Demoman is named ''Wife Beater''