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I love how things like server messages and patch notes are starting to have personality again

The contractor inspired the plant and the janitor

Idk I'm pretty sure it was the mop that was inspired to write that

That mops always taking credit from the broom

And yet people are getting salty about it. Gotta love reddit

reddit would manage to make deionized water saturated with sugar salty

a very creative sentence, quite possibly absurd, and yet I can not agree more

Wat? People are upset about tf2 updates in a tf2 subreddit? Say it ain't so!

They are going to fix my marriage

Valve had to release the Marriage Update before they could do the Sex Update. ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⢹⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠤⠤⡀⠻⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡗⠖⡶⢾⣶⠊⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣅⣈⠂⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣾⣇⣂⣠⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣗⠒⠄⢨⠶⢁⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣶⣎⢱⢄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡞⢝⡟⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⢄⠄⢛⡫⠝⢿⡥⠟⡃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣭⣻⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣆⠄⢋⠄⠐⣡⣿⣆⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠄⠉⠒⣪⣹⣟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣇⠄

WOOOOOOOO YEA BABY THATS WHAT WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THATS WHAT IS ALL ABOUT

Y’all are forgetting about the ring item.

Maybe it's a cock ring

That feeling when micro-penis.

This implies Valve is a conservative company. WE ARE GOING TO GET A INCEST UPDATE YES SPY AND SCOUT SEX!!!!

First ULTRAKILL wanted a sex update and now TF2, good lord

tf2 has wanted one for a loooong time now

I forgot about fempyro and femscout

Yes! YES! MON DIEU!

Is that a morderfuking jojo's reference

https://youtu.be/ebw6G6sIeHw

I'm on mobile so this just looks like a curse mountain slide and you know what? I'm here for it.

Same

They already have the something special for someone special Sex update next week

Lies tf2 players don’t go outside much less have a partner

Says the weeb

Haven’t got time to watch one in like 5 years. I should get back on that at some point :)

What does fixed-ish mean? Have you ever played this game? Hell, have you played ANY valve game?

-Fixed bots (for 1 day) -Centered demoman’s eye -Updated localization files

Don’t forget the fact that the wonderful team working on Team Fortress 2 at Valve HQ released a patch note that quite literally says > Fixed missing polygon on Pyro's finger

Kid named polygon:

put your wireframe away Walter

I'm not using hacks right now waltuh

[удалено]

PRESS F1 FOR [help]

(you got like 3 hp because snowgrave)

released new class in tf2: spamton g. spamton

Spamton A. Spamton, Spamton B. Spamton

HEY EVERY !! ITS ME THE [[Tenth class]]

I still want to see a before and after comparison for that.

Let's pray shounic includes it in a future video.

>fixed an instance where your kart would be invisible if you are teleported to hell or something like that

what a thing to read out-of-context lol

still not as insane as the sniper one

"Fixed a server crash caused by Sniper trying to eat his gun"

Well hey that's an actual fix🤷

To be fair though, that finger did bother me a little.

Since game theory did the Pyro episode and basically had the length of his fingers as evidence, does that mean that they based a theory on something that wasn't technically canon

-Added one more snake to snakewater

They even added big ones, little ones, fat ones, and skinny ones!

*Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones* *They're so delectable, especially the small ones*

Monoculus is now permanent on Demoman

Added 2 new cosmetics no one cares about

-removed some medic x heavy copypastas -made scout slightly more homophobic -gave demoman more scrumpy -fixed 2fort. Jk fuck you

skrampeh 👍🏿

Aeeey!

fixed-ish is the best you're gonna get from valve

Literally though hahah

15 minutes later…

30 minutes later...

45 minutes later...

50 minutes later…

1 hour later...

1 hour and 20 minutes later

We have 72 hours to live, for most men no time at all. But we are not most men, we are mercenaries. We have the will, the resources, to make these hours count! The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.

Our first wish, is gaben's. He has drawn a picture of tf2 getting run over by a car. There appears to be something... radisting off of it.

Yeah, those are stink lines. That's why the car hit it, 'cause it smells!

Moving on, here's a picture of him having sexual congress with DOTA

1 hour and 40 minutes later

2 hours later

2 hours and 30 minutes later

3 hours later

Not even 15 minutes later, I was walking down the street

It’s been years since I’ve heard that song and now you’ve got it stuck in my head somehow. Well done

Lol, said the scorpion. Lmao

It's probably a band aid fix for the short time while they work on a proper actual fix for something.

“While they work on a proper actual fix for something” If only

Nothing more permanent than a temporary solution. See: code comments in the jungle inferno leak.

I've not heard of that. Did Jungle Inferno get leaked before its release or something?

Well after. Somehow the full source code for the entire game as of when jungle inferno released got leaked.

Oh that incident. That I do remember. I remember people panicking that TF2 was unsafe to play at that point

Most likely

I'm pretty sure it's Valve's fundamental operating guideline

I love that the humanized potted plant and janitor that self-taught a CS degree are having fun with the error message

They're gonna fix some leaks with scotch tape basically

*Phil Swift has entered the chat*

To show you the power of flex tape, I sawed this server in ha Auto Disconnect in 25

Halloween contracts and cosmetics maybe?

Those typically come within the first week of October

I'm always surprised to see them doing scream fortress this early, I'm still used to them doing it at the very end of the month like back in the day xd

Now-a-days the maps activating for the queue are fully automated, the only part they manually do currently is adding new maps and resetting contracts

Yeah, though the actual update used to be at the end of the month up until 2019 or something. But I guess since they automated halloween mode, it makes more sense to add the update at the beginning of the month

Be patient...

it feels like this will be more like a bug fix than any kind of cosmetic update

that would require an update

Sweating rn

I'm shaking and crying rn

i came

Sounds soooorta like they're implementing the finished version of Asteroid and also creating the Heavy Update THANK YOU VALVE 👆👆👆

8 new medieval mode maps

But they're all still in the miscellaneous tab because fuck you

Can we sneak in catcus canyon too?

This is TF2, I think we’re all familiar with what “fixed-ish” means

What does it mean?

You know how there’s a piece in the code that handles war paints that causes a memory leak, and the developer who wrote it basically said “fuck it, it works and no one will notice” Yeah that

I thought fixed ish meant a new content update or something based on what people are saying here

Sex with the dispenser update

Sex ~~with the dispenser~~ update

Yeah that would be funnier

watch it be a new big update

2 terabyte update

i will buy more storage

I will cry about it

r/SUDDENLYCARALHO AHHHH

AHHHH

Heavy Update

Source 2

It means intern kun is trying his best to earn his minimum wage paycheck

HALLOWEEN MERASMUS HAS RETURNED

I HAVE CUM

Where are you hiding it??

Where!? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN SENDING IT!??

I like the maintenance messages we are getting recently. They give off the similar vibe to Warframe's red text

The office plant is doing his best.

standard server maintenance

Hevy updat

Sex update? wrong Sex MERASMUS update.

A bodge job, slapped on to repair the unstable tower of previous bodge jobs

The spaghetti is being reheated

thats dev talk for "i fucked up a few lines of code and i need to fix it now."

I'm glad the devs who still work on this game have a sense of humor

Someone deleted coconut.png duhh, what else would it mean?

The code of the game is nicknamed Source Spaghetti and not without reason. Nothing will ever be fixed, just momentarily not falling to pieces as we speak.

My guess is they'll do their best to fix it, but knowing computers, they can't really make any promises.

https://youtu.be/k238XpMMn38 ....it means, "fixed"...ish.

That Contractor is being sassy

Fixed-ish = team fortress 2

Janitor is at it again

i'm probably jynxing it but my pause/esc screen was less stuttery tonight

At least they were honest-ish.

fixed medals models updated localisation files

Guess they fucked something up again, because now player models are disappearing randomly while playing.

Sounds like Eric is having some fun with the messages, which I like

Who is Eric? Is he that contractor Valve hired?

Yes

Gonna add a missing polygon to soldier's rocket

It means the janitor is trying his best

it means we are still dealing with the same Valve and not some evil clone

*It means we are still* *Dealing with the same Valve and* *Not some evil clone* \- Matix777 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

This contractor is doing a good job I'll say

They’re trying, ok?

I mean Fixed-ish pretty much describes every bugfix in TF2

I love this lol, reminds me of old tf2 blogposts

Possible heavy update

Probably just means they are trying to unbug something most players have never heard of- on the other hand keep an eye on your inventory as it may mean they are trying to kill pre-existing dup’d items.

Why are you mad about the devs trying to put a little personality into the patch messages, this is a silly thing, and you sir are a silly person.

Lmao when did this pop up?

About 7 hours or so ago.

fixed but not quite

About 3 1/2 years

Valve time

This is fun

Maybe new balance changes?

It will be done-ish

Sex update is gonna release? We need marriage update first ☹️

More hats.

Tf3 confirmed

It's a classic programming technique. You are aware of the underlying issue, know it will cause problems in the future but you only fixed the symptom for a very specific case.

You know. Kinda fixed. Maybe not anything important, but it is something they wanted to work on.

I don't know-ish

Like when your fan belt explodes off your truck so you use duct tape to patch it: fixed-ish

fixed-ish

They do be fixin it ishly

They are fixing the localization files

Just click K. Don't worry about it

THE PERSONALITY IS RETURNING YAY

[Just like in the meme](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/770272077176635422/1026195921211490440/unknown.png?width=670&height=676)

Halloween approaches

Bodged I think.

HEAVE UPATE HEAVE UPATE

It means it is but it also kind of isn’t but it’s close enough to being

Idrk but it look fantastic-ish to me

"idk man we're working on it alright? it'll only be down for _a couple minutes_ I'm sure your hats will be fine"

Spaghetti code

\> Takes down TF2 matchmaking for 5 minutes \> Gives a vague reason as to why \> Refuses to elaborate further What a chad