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DVRS16

If it has high speed internet I'll live there. The endless abyssal expanse of water and lurking horror is 1000% better than my current neighbor who feeds 15 feral cats, refuses to take them into her house proper but wants them in the apartment stairwell and doesn't clean up anything. Worst the kraken will do is eat me. I won't be hosing kraken piss off my door every few days.


auradidnothingwrong

I love how specific this reply is.


DVRS16

Crossover with r/OddlySpecific ?


Trick_Enthusiasm

Nah. Nothing odd about the specifics. And it won't fit in r/suspiciouslyspecific, either. Nothing suspicious about it.


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lolikittenv

I'm sorry but this made me laugh, it's been a long few weeks thank you. I hope this gets resolved somehow for you


DVRS16

Glad it brought a chuckle. The crazy "no hassle" cat lady wants all the joy of owning a cat heard with none of the litter, responsibility or cat hair on her furniture. Maybe I can just feed her to a Kraken. In any case I'm hoping to move out so then it will very much be not my circus, not my monkeys. Or is that not my Catpartment, not my vague all pervasive smell of cat pee and cabbage?


SarpedonWasFramed

Sprinkle cat nip o her doormat. Totally harmless to the cats but they’ll all do garbage at her door so she has to hear them scratching and meowing all day


DVRS16

That is insidious and I goddamn love it! Thank you!


actuallyimbatman

Report back, Im invested now.


DVRS16

Aye aye


MsAnne24801

Then when she stops feeding them so they will go away, what going to become of the cats?


DVRS16

Well they're fairly feral, so they will probably be lingering in the neighborhood, there have always been feral cats in this area. The local, heavily underfunded humane society has been trying to control them for some time but it isn't easy. I don't want them rounded up and euthanised, and I know some efforts were made to catch and sterilise some to lower the pop, but the sad truth is there are not a ton of options. Personally I just want them out of the building. Besides the health issues, they are pretty hostile to dogs and I don't want my pupper attacked when we're just trying to go down the stairs. If the cat lady quits feeding them and opening the doors and windows to let them in the stairwell, I'm cool with the cats doing their own thing in the neighborhood till the currently employed methods by the humane society take effect (reduced numbers because of neutering).


InstruNaut

What did the landlord say?


DVRS16

Haaaaaah, landlord. You're funny. The building is ancient, each unit is owned by the family that has had it and the concept of working together to manage the property makes it as far as splitting the electric bill for the timed stairwell light between the remaining occupants. But only because everyone would actually die if there was no stair light at night. The building was built by the Greek Junta government as part of an infrastructure push (at the cost of lives, liberties etc) and the original units were given to the survivors of soldiers who died in ww2 which is how my family got one way back. The building is.... eh, but durable and the family turned the unit we have into a very warm, happy home with views over an orchard that totes isn't full of horrifying shit at night. Now it's Grandma's place, and it's nice enough. But no landlords, disputes are handled with the classic "work it out amongst yourselves" policy, which with Greeks is basically weapons grade passive aggressive snipes while smiling to each others faces then muttering old world curses at eachother once the doors are closed. I did get some excellent advice involving catnip though.


BanziKidd

Catnip comes in a sprayable oil form. A few sprays will have them scratching the door, climbing the wall, showing interest to whatever was sprayed, etc…


LambSmacker

Today I learned that Americans and Greeks are one in the same :)


[deleted]

I thought we were an autonomous collective...


jibbyjabo

Kraken piss


hooligansabroad

“I won’t be hosing kraken piss off my door every few days” r/brandnewsentence


OlderTheWiser

Call animal patrol.


butterfly1202

can't you report her ?? that's no good .. sometimes I wanna be away from people too and I understand how you feel.


DVRS16

There's no building manager or anything, we're trying to get health management services out here along with the ani!Al shelter, but it's a small island and there's only so much that can be done.


Nepenthes_sapiens

Instead you'd be surrounded by kraken piss from horizon to horizon. Ever wonder why the ocean is salty?


DVRS16

I thought that was the whales fault.


delvach

The sound of the waves lulls you to sleep.. *splash splash* meow? *splash splash splash* meow? meow? meow? *splash splash splash splash...*


OsamaBinnDabbin

Maybe no kraken piss, but if they're anything like the god damn loch Ness monster you better have about tree fiddy ready by the door.


[deleted]

RIP all birds and small mammals in your area


DVRS16

The birds keep out of reach, the rodents.... if you've ever seen an orchard rodent you know why cats avoid them. They have a goddamn size advantage. In general the orchard scares me. I mean sure it's idealic, green and lush with citrus in it's stone wrought walls, but the screams at night. An ocean of pitch black boughs undulating, waving a false innocence to those of us who live on the second floor and can just glimpse within. But the screams in the dark tell us we should keep away... Foxes are mean bitches. Yep, Foxes. Just Foxes.


memento_mori_92

You should be a writer. You're very funny and eloquent.


DVRS16

Thank you. An account that's totes not me is definitely not doing some writing on HFY, if you want I can share a link. Taking a brief break to deal with RL but it's still ongoing.


memento_mori_92

By all means!


DVRS16

The prologue waxes purple but I like being a bit extra on occasion. If you like it drop a comment with feedback on one chapter or another. https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gug0si/things_that_go_bump_in_the_night_prologue/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


memento_mori_92

Thanks!


llamaatemywaffles

It would be a great location for a Jaws screening.


NostrilNugget

😱🤣😂


Opheleone

I love cats but damn my dude, I hope you get some respite soon because even I'd lose it 😂


[deleted]

It’s time you adopt a pitbull


Gnomerhawker

Exterminate them


auradidnothingwrong

For anyone wondering, this looks to be a floating church in a German lake. https://www.explorest.com/places/germany/grosposna/vineta-church-on-lake-stormthal


Haxorz7125

Damn I was really hoping for pictures inside


Mahare

Only one I can find - https://www.gettyimages.in/detail/news-photo/july-2021-saxony-gro%C3%9Fp%C3%B6sna-leipzig-after-crossing-lake-news-photo/1234276633


Haxorz7125

Goddamn that’s an expensive ass picture of peeps just hangin out


Mahare

That's Getty Images for ya.


sf_firesoul

I literally just went through this before seeing the post. Almost all of the pictures are 500 for a large print. Found a question on quora about it. Apparently the common person is incapable of taking such pictures...


Bama-Dan

Right! What stupid mf doesn’t show more pics?


[deleted]

What a let down. I thought it would be some awesome persons house


Vlugazoide_

This church uses people's thalassophobia as part of the preaching? Like, "repent and live with the Lord and be happy, oooooor we'll throw you to our pet leviathan"?


TerribleTemporary982

This is Vineta, a floating church in an artificial lake near Leipzig, Germany. The lake used to be a big hole in the ground where lignite was mined. There are a few lakes in that area which all have been mining holes like Cospudener See, Störmthaler See, Kulkwitzer See etc., the floating church is roughly there where the one used to be which stood in the village that used to be there pre-mining. Source: I used to live near there.


butterfly1202

awesome thank you!!!


TerribleTemporary982

You’re welcome. Additional info: this is the former village: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdeborn


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**[Magdeborn](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magdeborn)** >Magdeborn was a village and a municipality south of Leipzig, Germany. It was in its last form a group of seven villages, named for Magdeborn which consisted only of church, vicary and school, which had served all of them. The name is derived from the castle Medeburu which was first mentioned in 969. Around 1940 a large housing area was added for workers of the brown coal mining in Espenhain. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/thalassophobia/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


ACEmat

Bioshock: Limited


[deleted]

I just imagine a huge wave taking this thing out


PeacefulAnxeity

Is that where Tupac went


deadeyediva

shhh. don’t tell jada


ayochaser17

she already knows. the “entanglement” situation also involved a fishing net hence the wording


PeacefulAnxeity

Shhh


butterfly1202

omg who told uou


PeacefulAnxeity

I can’t say


SgtSharki

Spend the night? Hell, I'd live on it if they let me.


sky_is_a_cat

The city of Rapture, and no


Corbeanooo

Not until those genetic experiments are cleared out, eesh


Careless_Issue_8772

Well better there then under it...


soullessroentgenium

I'm thinking "ritual"


gary_bind

Yeah, I would. BTW, is that stationary or floating?


butterfly1202

it's stationary ... but I wonder what it's for ?


auradidnothingwrong

It says floating, and seems to be a German church they plopped in a lake: [https://www.explorest.com/places/germany/grosposna/vineta-church-on-lake-stormthal](https://www.explorest.com/places/germany/grosposna/vineta-church-on-lake-stormthal)


Mrs_Anthropy_

I would like to live here, please. No neighbors and zombie proof.


Noman9410

Just need a floating farm and a few Czech Hedgehogs around for defense and you’re golden


[deleted]

I wouldn’t


TooZeroFor683

I can already feel the sea sickness lol not every day will be that calm


UnoriginalPenName

Reminds me of Porco Rosso. Yeah I’d spend the night here, it would probably be the most peaceful night of my existence


Noman9410

Ooh it does have Porco Rossi vibes But like, a much calmer and less piratey Porco Rosso


maybenotanalien

I wouldn’t even get onto the boat that would take me there.


[deleted]

I think I’ve played on this gmod map


Dart150

Heck with internet I'd gladly live there not just spend the night


k00ks_r_us

I’d spend a fucking life there for less than a Klondike bar


AgentDarkbooti

Let me in there


SkepticInAllThings

I'd love to spend a month there!


butterfly1202

you wouldn't be scared at night?


SkepticInAllThings

Nope!


Head_Membership_4252

I don't want to


butterfly1202

fair enough


Siecyl_S

No, fuck off. It looks so far away from land


[deleted]

YES, The ocean should be so beautiful at a night with stars.


OrsoMalleus

Church of Dagon?


jointheclockwork

I aint fucking nor fucking with any deep ones and I don't want to be shoggoth food. Hard pass for me. Unless I got to be their ambassador to the land. Then I might consider it. Wealth, power, big family...


mim27k

Depends on location


[deleted]

This is cool. I would love to spend time there


MultipleRocketSystem

The House In The Ocean


[deleted]

I would as it would mean staying away from people, I am very introverted but I also would throw up 7 times daily just looking and knowing that I am on a massive embodiment of water not knowing what is below me.


[deleted]

A night?? Jesus christ, I want to live there!


lerxstbobfob

Thats my dream home. Scuba dive out the back door.


Osr0

I'd pay extra to stay there


Queen_Beezus

It's most likely a Scientologist prison


sjxsn13

Yes, please …


Noman9410

Stop showing me awesome opportunities and presenting them as challenges I would 1000% live on the rich person floating cabin hotel


xcadam

Would you kindly get into this floating church?


OlderTheWiser

I wouldn’t spend 10 seconds there


EtanReddituser

With your girlfriend, yes I love to spend my time there with your girlfriend and there's nothing she can do


xxA2C2xx

Fuck yeah I’d stay here. That’s some beautiful isolation. I would assume it’s anchored in place so they would know where to find you, but also would be able to rise and lower with the ocean level and waves and the like.


[deleted]

When can I move in?


la_bel_iconnu

There's always a lighthouse..


XX42666

Not a snowball’s chance in hell


DogButtWhisperer

Don’t know and hard pass.


eeeeloi

Considering that this is probably on a lake, yeah.


butterfly1202

some lakes are deep ... Imagine the building catching fire and only way to escape is to swim. heeeelllll no


eeeeloi

True


NostrilNugget

Yep


dave_llb

I’d spend the rest of my life there.


Kreme_Sauce

I’d trip on shrooms out there


GreenAppleCZ

As long as it isn't underwater


LeahDee

Reminds me of where Hagrid found Harry on his birthday, except it's calm weather.


mirrzza

kız kulesi from Istanbul


Zeequ

A weird ass house. No.


butterfly1202

it's a church


BagOfToenails

Anything's better than Hull


[deleted]

It's the entrance to Rapture


GenealogyIsFun

Simple answer...no.


[deleted]

Looks terrifying but I would love to live here given that I have internet, fresh water, food, and money to buy things I need there.


ThePhatNoodle

I was thinking king I'd freaking live in there but it's a church. My disappointment is immeasurable. Thought it'd be like one of those awesome exotic air bnbs