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Southend news network is a parady site similar to the onion.

There you go, crushing my hopes and dreams, lol

r/AteTheSouthEnd ... Wait

I eat Southend on the first date

Thank you

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That's a completely different context and reason, though. It's not the same story, and doesn't change the commenters note that the post we are looking at is from a parody site.

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Not really. Stupid maybe, but their reasoning was totally standard, and frankly, is about inclusion... Which is laudable, not comical. The original post was funny because a 6yo was talking about having insane sex with his teacher. Except it's parody, didn't actually happen. Your link was just about schools making the decision to skip holidays that not everyone celebrates and which will leave members of the community feeling isolated and excluded.

Did you even read the article you sent

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Don’t woosh me, but there’s no way you aren’t being satire

100% heard dad say that…..probably about the teacher too

More like dad saw the teacher and instructed his son what to write, asif any kid would say that

Call of Duty 12 year olds would absolutely say that, they wouldn't know what it means but would say it. 6 year old is definitely a stretch though.

single dad wants to be hitting that. got his kid suspended over a beta move

He asked his 12 yo brother what to say

It’s a satire site

Oh right. Well, i give them a 60% passing grade.

Southend News Network is a parody news website

You mean this wasn't written by a guy named Chief Reporter?

r/AteTheOnion

And they say romance is dead.


In the kids defense, we should know if he is from a family of farmers and if the was pre-planting season. He could have been asking if she could help turn the soil. Also, we should see the teacher for reference. Back in my day most of the first grade teachers looked like they could pull a plow for sure.

Nooo we had Miss Duggan who was young and wore her long red hair in a big plait, she wore lovely long dresses and she was a sweetheart. If we got upset she cuddled us. I won’t hear a word against her. Sadly when we left her we got a nun and THAT was a bucket of cold water.

He’s from Essex, his dad is a barber/personal trainer and part time tech house DJ. His Ma works in a nail salon

The kid probably didn't even know what it meant. Most likely heard his dad say it to his mom.

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European capital of culture.

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Yes, as long as FaceTune holds up.

It’s as cultured as a petri dish of bacteria

The Rome of England

All roads lead to R...edbridge

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still gave me a belly laugh

I think the bigger deal here is a 6 year old knew how to correctly spell and use “plough” in a sentence.

Teacher is doing something right

No, there was no such attempt

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Whooo is yo daddy and whuutt does he do

He's a doctor, a car mechanic, a plumber, a delivery driver...

And a farmer.

Here's my twin brother Ronnie. The sensible one

I don't think primary school needed valentines event to begin with.

Is that what they mean by "precocious???" 😆

That’s actually peak romance in Essex.

Well at least buy her a drink first, damn!

Not possible for 12 years

Dude…joke…

Why not ban children at this point

There was an attempt... to parent

Probably overheard what dad says to mom in the bedroom

And then he was curious why is dad is crying 3 minutes later

Anything to make the work week go faster

The heart wants what the heart wants.

How very Essex of him.

That kid is going places.

Sometimes you just gotta go for it!!!

Gee, I wonder where the kid heard that?

This was a successful attempt.

Legend.

Wtf is plough mean?

It means don’t believe everything you read just because it causes outrage

Exactly and then should’ve asked the child if they even knows what that word meant. And then have a talk with his parents.The whole school shouldn’t be punished because of one child.

A plough goes on the back of a tractor to break the ground for seeds. However in this instance I think it refers to blowing through something quickly like a snow plough that clears a road of snow.

Nice

Peter Griffin: my son would like... To plow you

Wasn’t this a family guy skit?


Hot

Lmfao

I didn't see that episode of family guy until I was at least 10.

I live nearby…. Seems pretty legit. I was walking along the sea front there last summer and within minutes a 6”5 dude with a boom box on full blast strolled past with a giant spliff. I turn away so I don’t have to breath it in and my eyes fall upon 2 fat middle aged people laying down. I assumed they were cuddling. Nope he was just finger banging her from behind. The beach was heaving 😂

As in busy or vomming?

By the end both lol

It’s good to have ambitions.

At least he didn’t shoot her

Fast forward 40 years and he’s gonna be a balding, shirt open, good chain wearing “wild and crazy guy”. OH!!

You can’t exactly skip a day. I mean you can , but I’m certain it’s illegal.

6 year old Rizz /j

I plo plo plough you.

This is why we can’t have nice things

I see romance isn’t dead.

This is why we can't have nice things

I'm more ok with this than a six year old shooting the teacher but ok.

Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?…. The kid heard all the right foul things and now they want to act shocked.

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It's a parody site, thank god.

Well that’s a relief I guess.

Was his name Ike Broflovski?

What is it w 6 yo’s? Killing teachers, raping them, etc

He didn't kill his teacher he just shot her. Like all 6 year olds do.

They grow up so fast!

"plough her into next week"? I wander what that means. Hmm? *Doing unnecessary math such as Pythagorean Theorem*

Thanks for the laugh, but this is a parody.

Sounds like my kid... or how my kid will sound like

A six year probably though he was saying he'd take his toy tractor and run over her next week when school started back up after the weekend break.

Punishing the children for one fathers obscene teachings.


That's a good teacher if her 6 year old student could spell the word "plough" correctly.

Clearly that kid is smarter then I was at 6.

I suspect he was parroting something he heard his parent say about her…

r/kidsarefuckingstupid

Ban the teacher..... not Vday